Recap: This episode opens in desert canyon that has been designated a cultural landmark marked with a No Trespassing sign. Inside this restricted area, a young Native American boy is sitting under a rustic arbor chanting...and he's so focused on his chanting that he doesn't notice the man who's dressed in a silver space suit (you heard me) and staring ominously in his direction from several feet away. A few minutes after the morning bell, Jaime dashes into her classroom, turns the blackboard around, and bionically writes up the lesson plan for the day. One of the more outspoken kids, an impish bespectacled boy named Andrew, remarks, "She's doing her funny writing again." Jaime finishes writing up the lesson plan, turns the board around, and tells the kids to welcome their newest classmate - John Little Bear - but when the camera pans over to his seat, it's empty...and Jaime's all, "Wha-a-a?" The guy in the silver space suit radios to someone that he unexpectedly encountered a little kid in the desert...and a few seconds later, the kid - who we can safely assume is John Little Bear - mounts his horse, says goodbye to his deceased grandfather with a promise to return soon, and trots off. The person on the other end of the radio tells the space suit guy he's going to have to off the kid if he ever sees him in the desert again. Eeeek! John Little Bear arrives at school while the class is outside for recess, and Jaime strolls over and introduces herself and says, "You must be John." He tells her that everyone on the reservation called him Paco, and Jaime's like, "Er...OK...Paco" and urges him to dismount his horse and join them. One of the kids asks Paco if he's afraid his horse will run away, and Paco rolls his eyes derisively and doesn't bother answering. He "explains" that he's so late 'cause a giant bear appeared before him...or maybe it was a ghost bear that spooked his horse. Andrew rolls his eyes, calls him out on his bullcack, and says that from now on he's calling him Throwing Bull. Haha! When the bell rings, Jaime orders all the kids to go inside...and Paco hangs back and asks her if she thinks he's a liar. She says no, but that he needs to leave home earlier so he can make it to school on time. One of the other teachers, Mrs. Stone, tells Jaime that Oscar Goldman urgently needs to see her in the base's hangar...and in the next scene, Oscar is showing Jaime film footage of military personnel parachuting out of a plane - which freaks her out 'cause of the trauma of her skydiving accident and subsequent re-cobbling together of her limbs with bionic parts during the first crossover episode. Oscar gabbles about the advances of technology in modern warfare - the latest "quantum leap" being self-contained flying suits - and shows her footage of someone flying through the air in the same kind of silver space suit we saw in the canyon. Oscar excitedly tells her that the flying space suit has the capability to go really high and fast, and even out-fly a helicopter! Jaime pretends to be deeply impressed by the leaps and bounds by which flying space suit technology has evolved and murmurs, "It's a nice gadget." Oscar tells her that a prototype will be arriving at the base in a few hours for formal testing, wants her there to ensure that nothing goes awry, then introduces her to the man who will be coordinating the security for this top secret operation - and, hey, it's a young Gary Collins! Oscar furrows his brows and says he's troubled by reports that two practice suits have gone missing, and Gary Collins says it's probably an inventory mistake, but that he'll do his best to sort it out. Oscar snarkishly orders him to get to the bottom of it, pronto, 'cause if the suits aren't found, he'll have no choice but to cancel the test. After Gary Collins slinks out of the hangar, Jaime asks Oscar why the Case of the Missing Flying Space Suits bothers him so much, and he solemnly explains how catastrophic it would be if any guerrilla war unit got its hands on the technology and had the capability to start zipping around in the air. Apparently, anti-terrorist defense systems would be powerless to stop them...unless someone working for these anti-terrorist defense systems had a sniper rifle and pretty good aim. LOL.
During the next recess, Paco brags to the class about how he can go into the desert any time he wants to visit the burial ground of his ancestors...and that he could survive there for weeks - while they, on the other hand, would probably be crying for their mommies. Gary Collins happens to walk by and overhear the dickish little tot's pronouncements, then sternly informs him that the desert surrounding the burial grounds is off limits due to military exercises. Andrew laughs and cheekily tells Paco he should have scalped Gary Collins for his uppity 'tude...and when the kids burst out laughing, Paco shrieks, "You're all stupid!" and takes off on his horse. When Oscar and Jaime exit the hangar, they spot Paco riding his horse near the runway. Oscar asks whassup with that, so Jaime explains that the kid is her newest student. Oscar tells her to stop him from entering the restricted area (that's adjacent to the runway), and Jaime's like, "I'm on it" and starts bionically jogging after Paco. Dun dun dun dun dun dun.. Paco, meanwhile, reaches the Restricted Area sign, tethers his horse to it, and proceeds on foot. Jaime is in close pursuit and...yadda yadda... eventually finds him hiding near the wheel of a plane. She chides him for entering the restricted area, then acknowledges that his ancestors' burial grounds were discovered on this land after the base was established. Paco insists he has the right to visit his grandfather any time he wants, and Jaime says she's too weary to argue about it anymore and just wants him to [shut up for the next little while and] return to class. Paco agrees to attend class for the rest of the day, but won't commit to anything more...and Jaime sighs and says she's putting a pin in that for now. Gary Collins drives out to the desert and enters a secret cave...and inside are two men decked out in the missing silver flying space suits. Gary Collins tells them he needs to return at least one of the suits, 'cause Oscar is growing suspicious and has threatened to cancel the test. He says they'll keep one suit, and chalk up the other missing suit to an inventory glitch. He tells them that once the prototype arrives at the base, one of them will make the switch with the pilot, then fly off in it and never return. He smiles evilly and says that at least three guerrilla groups have expressed an interest in acquiring flying space suit technology and are willing to pay upwards of $5 million. Sounds like some guerrillas are about to get hosed good if they're actually dumb enough to shell out that kind of money for a single flying suit. One of the bad guys reports that he saw a little Native American kid hanging in the desert earlier, and Gary Collins says he's aware of that situation and that, from now on, they need to off anyone they find roaming around these parts.
A military plane arrives at the base with its precious cargo of flying space suits. Oscar is in the process of carefully supervising their transfer off the plane when Gary Collins enters the hangar and reports that he found one of the "missing" practice suits in the research lab, and determined that that an inventory glitch accounted for the missing status of a second suit. Oscar nods and appears to buy that lie easily enough. Paco's aunt drops by the school to chat with Jaime. She shows Jaime the book The Real West by Marcus Carter and tells her that Paco regards it as the bible for all things Native American. Jaime snorts derisively and goes, "Marcus Carter?!" then calls him a "third rate writer who never got out of Brooklyn". Paco's aunt concurs and says that Paco laps up every word of the book. Jaime asks her if Paco's grandfather is buried in the tribal area, and the aunt makes a face and tells her that Many Horses was a hopeless drunkard who died of exposure and was then buried in the city cemetery. Jaime clucks sympathetically at Paco's earnest struggle to connect with his heritage and says she wants him to stay in school so she can help sort all that out for him. The pilot who has been assigned to test out the flying space suit has arrived at the base...and as Oscar greets him, Gary Collins smirks evilly in their direction. Andrew gives the class a short presentation about his grandfather who fought in World War I. After he wraps it up, Jaime asks if anyone else has a story about a family member who fought in the Great War...and Paco stands up and tells everyone that his grandfather was a great war chief who successfully fought the U.S. cavalry with only a few brave men. Jaime gently tells him that by 1917 the Indian Wars were largely over, but Paco stubbornly insists, "Not for my grandfather" and says he died a hero after taking down over twenty American soldiers. When the bell rings, Jaime asks Paco to stay behind and says she knows all about Many Horses...and diplomatically says he was a good man who did his best to raise him to be a good person. When she chides him for making up outlandish stories about him, Paco gets defensive and says he's going off to live in the desert with no intention of ever returning to school. Jaime makes him a deal: if she's able to find him within half an hour, he'll agree to attend school and stop telling tales. Paco's like, "Deal!" and rushes out of the room just as Jaime's private telephone rings...and it's Oscar, calling to tell her that the testing for the flying space suit is scheduled for 9am the following morning. Oscar informs her that he's about to lock down the base, along with the nearby restricted desert area...and Jaime's all, "Wha-a?", quickly hangs up, and bionically chases after Paco.
We get a lot of tediously repetitive footage of Jaime jogging through the desert canyon in slo-mo, then stopping periodically to activate her bionic hearing to listen for the clop clop sound of Paco's horse trotting along the rocks so she's confident she's bionically jogging in the right direction. One of Gary Collins' cohorts (dunno what his name is so we'll call him Bad Guy #1) is driving in the desert in a military jeep when he spots Paco on his horse. Jaime, meanwhile, leaps onto high ground to get a better view of the area and spots Paco having a quick snack...then leaps back down and runs toward him. Paco finishes his snack, mounts his horse, and rides off...and a few seconds later, he encounters Bad Guy #2 wearing one of the flying space suits. He's all, "Wha-a?!" and stares at the silver spaceman in bewildered disbelief. After the commercial break, Bad Guy #2 chases after Paco...but when he loses sight of the lad, he flags down Bad Guy #1, who cruises by in his jeep. Bad Guy #2 climbs into the jeep and says they need to find the kid before he makes his way out of the canyon and blabs to everyone about what he just saw. Jaime finally reaches Paco, who's all wigged out about seeing the silver spaceman - but for some reason Jaime doesn't make the connection between his tale and the missing flying space suit from the OSI research lab and admonishes him for lying. Meanwhile, Bad Guys #1 and #2 make their way onto high ground, directly above Jaime and Paco, and start shoving dozens of [paper mache] rocks onto the two intruders. Jaime uses her bionic arms to deflect the boulders from landing on her and Paco...but eventually they're surrounded by an avalanche of rocks. When the bad guys are satisfied that the two are dead and buried beneath the boulders and head off, Jaime bionically breaks through the avalanche while Paco stares at her in awestruck confusion. He says she must be "a spirit sent by the sky father", but Jaime breezily tells him she's just an extraordinarily strong human woman, then says that something very dangerous is going on in the desert. She orders him to ride back to school, find Mrs. Stone, and tell her to alert Oscar Goldman that she, along with a man in a silver space suit, are roaming around the canyon. The bad guys return to the cave and call Gary Collins at the base to inform him that they came across the little Native American kid again - and that he's been killed, along with a pretty blonde woman who unexpectedly turned up. Gary Collins is dismayed when he deduces that the blonde woman buried under the boulders is most likely Jaime, and says he's worried that when Oscar realizes she's missing, he'll cancel the flying space suit test. He says they're going to need to push Operation Steal Flying Space Suit ahead to right now...then gets off the phone and tells Oscar that a weather front is moving in, which makes it imperative that they do their testing asap. Oscar mulls that over and glances over at the pilot...and the pilot shrugs and says he's ready to get started any time. Oscar agrees to begin the testing, then says that once Jaime gets here, he'll secure the base. Jaime peers into the cave and sees Bad Guy #2 dressed in the flying space suit...but before she can react, she's knocked unconscious from behind by Bad Guy #1. Both men are puzzled as to how she survived the boulder avalanche, but shrug it off and decide they should keep her hostage in case their plot to steal the space suit prototype goes awry. Paco arrives at the school, finds Mrs. Stone, and tells her that Jaime is trapped in the canyon with a silver spaceman. Mrs. Stone chides him for making up stories again - but he insists it's all true, and that she needs to alert Oscar Goldman, like pronto. For added proof, he draws a picture of the man in the flying space suit on the blackboard. Oscar arrives at the school to fetch Jaime and finds Paco and Mrs. Stone in her classroom. Paco tells him that Jaime is in the desert, along with a silver space man...and Oscar's all, "Wha-a?", then stares at his drawing on the blackboard and immediately looks alarmed. He tells Paco that Jaime is in serious trouble and dashes out. Oscar encounters Gary Collins, who's driving by in his jeep, and informs him that they have a red alert situation and need to call off the test...and by red alert situation, he means that Jaime is in the desert with someone who somehow acquired one of their practice flying suits. Gary Collins, who's forced to concede that the jig is finally up, pulls a gun on Oscar and stonily forbids him from calling off the test. He then orders him into the jeep...and the two drive off as Paco anxiously watches from the classroom window.
Inside the cave, Jaime regains consciousness, but Bad Guy #2 points his gun at her and orders her to lay back down. Paco dashes out of the school, mounts his horse, and races back to the desert. Bad Guy #1 arrives at the base and assures Oscar that Jaime is alive and well...but if he wants her to stay that way, he'll need to do as he's told. Back at the cave, Bad Guy #2 gets word that all systems are go with the testing of the flying space suit. Jaime reaches for a large rock - but he sees her grab it, points his gun at her, and orders her to put it down. Paco approaches the entrance of the cave just as Jaime activates her bionic hearing and hears the clop clop of his horse's hooves. She raises her voice so that Paco can easily hear her and Bad Guy #2 talking...and Paco cleverly creates a diversion, which prompts Bad Guy #2 to rush out of the cave to check it out. Jaime uses the opportunity to spring into action, and knocks him unconscious and smashes his gun. Paco rushes in, and Jaime hugs him and thanks him for saving her life...then tells him to go straight home while she bionically jogs back toward the base to wrap up what's left of this tedious episode. Dun dun dun dun dun.. Oscar and the pilot stand by helplessly while Bad Guy #1 gets suited up in the prototype space suit. He and Gary Collins cackle about how the OSI will never see the suit again, 'cause they're going to sell it to the highest bidding [hapless] guerrilla group. Bad Guy #1 climbs onto the back of a military truck...and Gary Collins orders Oscar into the truck as well, once again threatening to kill Jaime if he doesn't comply. The truck leaves the hangar as Jaime continues to bionically make her way back to the base. The unsuspecting General Fuller - the uber-cheese at OSI - has arrived at the base to witness the testing of the flying space suit and sees the military truck approach. Oscar greets Fuller and pretends that nothing is amiss as Bad Guy #1 (posing as the pilot) exits the truck and prepares for lift-off. Gary Collins suddenly spots Jaime bionically jogging toward them and is all, "The fuck? Where did she come from?!" and pulls out his gun. Oscar gives him a karate chop, then knocks him onto the ground and disarms him. Bad Guy #1 is all, "Ack!" and hits the green go button and lifts off - but by this time, Jaime is close enough to leap into the air to grab him and hit the red stop button - LOL - and both hurtle back down to the ground. Bad Guy #1 and Gary Collins are immediately taken into custody and ever seen or heard from again...I will assume.
Jaime strolls through the desert with Paco and assures him that wanting to learn about his heritage is perfectly A-OK. They stop at the rustic arbor, and he tells her he got the idea to build it from reading The Real West. Jaime tells him it's actually historically inaccurate, 'cause Western Indians didn't build these types of arbors...then promises to help him find some authentic books "written by some real Indians". He marvels over her book smarts and extraordinary physical strength, and once again insists that she must be a spirit...but she tells him that having the ability to do unusual things doesn't necessarily make someone a spirit. She then tells him to keep her superhuman strength on the down low 'cause it's supposed to be classified government intel...and Paco says he has no problem with that, since he doubts anyone would believe him anyway. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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