- Published on
"I look at these photos of Steve, and all I can think about is how little of a crap I give about him."
Original airdate: 1/14/1976
Episode summary: Jaime Sommers moves back to her hometown of Ojai, gets a teaching job at a military base, and tells Steve Austin she no longer has feelings for him.
The OSI doctors have been working overtime trying to regenerate Jaime's brain cells...and when she regains consciousness after her latest surgery, she buzzes for Rudy and Michael. They test her brain function by asking her some basic questions...but when they ask about her connection to Steve Austin, she scrunches her face in confusion and says she can only remember that they're "bionic friends", and she has no recollection of the skydiving accident that led to this spin-off. Rudy solemnly says they'll have to do more testing to determine exactly what she's able to remember, and then he and Michael exit the room.
Later, Jaime is shown a series of slides and is easily able to identify the places and people she visited and knew while growing up. She recognizes Steve's parents (her former guardians) from a photo...then has a flashback of the rainy night when her brain suddenly went all haywire. Michael and Rudy ask her if the flashback caused her any brain pain just now, and she's happy to report that it did not. They decide to be prudent and proceed cautiously by putting a pin in anything Steve-related, then tell her they'd like to test her bionics...which can only mean another gratuitous, slow motion jog.
In the next scene, Jaime is - yep - out jogging when her bionic ear receives an incoming message from Michael: "Jaime, if you can hear me, come on in." She grins and increases her pace, bionically leaping over fences and bushes to quickly get to where Michael is waiting for her. She confirms to him that she was able to hear his voice from half a mile away, and says she's thrilled that her memory appears to be returning with no residual brain pain.
"What's this? An incoming message.."
"It's interesting that my ear doesn't pick up any interference from all the other noises that must be occurring within a half mile radius."
We get a lot of superfluous footage of Jaime lounging around as she reads the contents of the classified folder. After that, she heads over to the nearest tennis court and is batting the ball around when Oscar drops by. They greet each other with a lip kiss (!) and he remarks on the fact that she's been reading her file, then asks her what she's planning to do with her life. She tells him that while she'd love to resume her tennis career, her bionic advantage probably wouldn't be fair to the other players. She then says that since she has a degree in education, she was thinking about returning to Ojai and getting a job teaching. Oscar says that that sounds wonderful, but Jaime acknowledges that she's still beholden to him 'cause of all the money the OSI shelled out for her bionics. Oscar jokes that bionic lady parts are a lot smaller and therefore cheaper than the six million dollars they'd spend on a man, and Jaime rolls her eyes at Oscar's rare attempt at a joke and assures him she'd like to help OSI whenever they need her to carry out missions. He takes her up on the offer and says they'll talk more about it once she gets settled in Ojai.
"You could never be called the Six Million Dollar Woman 'cause bionic lady parts are smaller and therefore cheaper. Badoom bah."
Oscar + joking = does not compute
Jaime arrives at the Austin ranch and is warmly welcomed by Mama Austin. During a stroll, Jaime tells her ex-future-mother-in-law that she'll have to start looking for a place to live - and Mama Austin points up at a second story window above the stables and explains that inside is an apartment that needs fixing, but it's hers if she wants it. Jaime decides she likes the idea of living atop a stable on her ex-fiance's family's property and eagerly says, "I'll take it!"
The apartment is filled with junk and cobwebs, so Jaime employs her bionic skills to quickly empty it out, and then vacuums, paints the walls, and scrubs the floors at super high speed.
That evening, Jaime is hanging with the Austins when Papa Austin says they received a postcard from Steve, who's currently in Rome. As Mama Austin reads it over, she tells Jaime that Steve knows she's now living on their property and that he sends his love. Jaime asks Mama Austin if she could look through her old scrapbook...and the two sit on the couch together and browse the photographs together. They come upon a newspaper clipping about hers/Steve's engagement announcement, and Jaime assures the worried looking Austins that she no longer experiences brain pain whenever memories of Steve are invoked. She then looks down at the engagement photo and remarks how hard it is for her to believe she was ever engaged to a block of wood like Steve.
As Jaime continues to get settled into her new place, Papa Austin brings her a used stove he picked up at the dump (or maybe a garage sale). Jaime looks delighted by the used piece of junk and picks it up with her bionic arms...and Papa Austin shakes his head in disbelief and says, "It really knocks me out to see you do stuff like that." Later, Jaime gets a phone call from Oscar, who tells her he has a lead on a teaching job, then hands the phone over to Steve. The former lovebirds awkwardly exchange pleasantries, and Jaime politely tells him it would be lovely to see him again sometime. Steve tells her he'll probably stop by his parents' ranch before he jets off to Thailand for OSI...and after he hangs up, he stares contemplatively into space.
"My brain no longer goes haywire whenever memories of you are invoked."
"That's good news...I guess."
Mama Austin drops by Jaime's apartment with some more old photographs to bore her with. As Jaime looks over the photos of Steve, she says she "just doesn't feel it" where he's concerned and isn't sure where her heart is. Mama Austin looks sad, but assures her she understands her confusion, and says she'll always love her like a daughter. Aww..
On Jaime's first day of school, she writes up a detailed class routine on the blackboard, then steps into the hall to chat with another teacher...and while she's doing that, the kids start to arrive. Within minutes, they're throwing paper wads at each other, and have erased everything she just wrote on the blackboard. When Jaime re-enters the classroom and sees that the blackboard is blank, she wheels it around and bionically re-writes her class routine. When she wheels it back around to display to the students, one of them flings a rubber band at her. She angrily demands to know who did it, and when no one 'fesses up, she picks up a telephone book and snarks at them about the horrible reputation they have as "a rough and rowdy bunch". She tells them that some teachers think a good way to earn respect is by threatening students, then glares at them as she rips the massive phone book in half with her bionic hands. The kids are all, "Wha-a??" and look suitably wigged out when she sternly tells them she expects them to behave respectfully towards her.
"Some teachers believe it's appropriate to threaten unruly children to get them to behave."
"I'm definitely one of those teachers."
While driving home, Jaime witnesses a fiery car crash. She leaps out of her car and runs over to rescue the man who's trapped in his burning car - while, unbeknownst to her, a camera has been strategically placed to capture her heroic actions on film. She uses her bionic powers to rip the car door off, pull the man out, and drag him to safety seconds before the car explodes. She tells the man she's going to get help, then races off...and he stares after her with an evil looking smirk on his face.
Jaime returns to the scene of the accident with an ambulance and two paramedics, but the "injured" man is nowhwere to be found. She stares around in bewilderment and tells the paramedics she has no idea where he could have disappeared to.
Carlton Harris is watching a replay of Jaime using her bionic powers to carry out the faux rescue, and remarks to his henchman (who is also the man she just rescued), "She's quite a unique woman." Harris announces he's headed to Ojai, and that he has quite a few surprises in store for Miss Jaime Sommers.
Jaime phones Oscar from the Air Force base and tells him about the accident she witnessed on her way home from work, and he furrows his brows concernedly and promises to look into it. She hangs up as Steve's plane arrives, and when he deplanes, she gives him a platonic hug hello. In the next scene, the two stroll around Ojai and come upon the tree that has Jaime + Steve carved on it. She now realizes he hid it from her during the previous episode, and he explains that he was afraid it would bring back bad memories and cause her brain to get all whacked out again. She assures him her brain no longer hurts when recalling her past...and that it's probably 'cause she no longer gives a hoot about him and can't imagine how in the hell they ever got engaged. A sad looking Steve mutters, "I understand", and she suggests that maybe in time they can be close again. She half-heartedly asks him if this could be a new beginning for them, and he despondently nods.
"I have absolutely no feelings for you whatsoever."
"I think I just felt my heart shatter into a thousand tiny pieces."
Carlton Harris, meanwhile, is on his way to Ojai to carry out whatever nefarious plot he has in store for Jaime. Eeeek!