Recap: Wealthy, married socialite Melissa Belancourt arrives for a secret evening meeting with a sleazy PI (Edward Steiger) on the beach. Edward hands her an envelop, which contains a series of photos of her in bed with her extramarital lover, and tells her that his price for staying quiet about her infidelity is $5,000 a month...snarkishly adding that he well knows she can afford it. Melissa tells him she hasn't hooked up with the guy in the photos for more than two months - but Edward points out that since the photos aren't date-stamped, there's really no proof of how recently she and he were knocking boots. He tells her he wants his pay on the first of every month, then warns her not to alert the man in the photos...'cause if she does, he'll increase her monthly blackmail payment. Melissa stomps back to her car and squeals off, leaving Edward grinning evilly after her. Over on the Riptide, Nick and Cody find crushed beer cans littered throughout the common living area and wonder if maybe Murray suddenly developed a drinking problem. Dooley arrives carrying a sack of empty cans that Murray requested...and a few seconds later, Murray enters the living room looking like a poor woman's James Dean: dark sunglasses, greased back hair, and an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Nick does his best not to laugh and points out that he doesn't actually smoke, and Murray grunts in response, "What's it to you?" He then breaks character to gleefully explain to his pals that he's working on a personal experiment involving image and masculinity, and that this tough guy act is part of his cover for their next PI assignment. Cody then needlessly fills Dooley in about the job: they were hired by the owner of a swanky beach club to hunt down a burglar who's been stealing jewelry from rich club members. The plan is for Nick and Cody to pass themselves off as lifeguards, while Murray roams the beach with a metal detector, pretending to look for lost change. As Murray continues his tough guy banter, repeatedly muttering, 'Maybe...maybe not", Nick groans, "It's going to be a loooooong case." Over at the beach club, a cute sixteen year old blonde (Candace James) invites her lifeguard boyfriend - thirty-three (!) year old Byron Monk - to her seventeenth birthday party. She explains that since she keeps her personal life secret from her parents, they wouldn't know to invite him. Not that they likely would, given that he's a thirty-three year old man who clearly has no compunction about brazenly dating a sixteen year old. Byron's like, "Yeah, whatever. I'll be there" before he ushers her off for a stroll. The Riptide trio arrives at the beach club. Byron, who's inside the club with Candace, spots Cody in the main lobby and is all, "Hey old roomie!" and rushes over to give him a hello hug. Byron says he's been back in town for three years...and that his ex-girlfriend Jill, who he apparently stole from Cody while they were roommates, dumped him like a hot potato. After the two chuckle about that for a few seconds, Cody introduces his old friend to Nick and Murray, while Byron introduces them to his underage squeeze. Byron glances over at Murray, remarks on how familiar he looks, and asks him if they've ever met before...and Murray, who's in deep under cover mode with his tough guy facade mumbles, "Maybe...maybe not." Cody explains to a bemused Byron that Murray is a tech geek who's sorta famous for his inventions, then says they need to meet with the club's manager, Fred Cushing, about a PI job. Byron offers to walk them to Fred's office...and as they exit the room, they walk past Melissa Belancourt, who's been quietly sitting on a nearby couch, looking incognito in dark sunglasses.
Fred Cushing gives the Riptide trio a list of the items that have recently been stolen from club members. He apologizes for not being better prepared and explains that his boss, club owner Mr. Lawrence, had hastily hired them in an effort to act quickly on the theft problem. A miffed looking Byron asks Fred why Mr. Lawrence would hire three PIs to track a burglar when he's out on the beach all day long...and when Fred wryly tells Byron that clearly Mr. Lawrence is under the accurate assumption that he mostly spends his days ogling bikini-clad bods, Byron huffily insists that he's a great lifeguard and storms out. Fred resumes his meeting with the Riptide trio and tells them that the jewelry burglar seems to be very slick, then remarks on how odd he finds it that the ladies feel the need to wear expensive jewelry on the beach. Murray requests a list of the club's members and employees so he can feed it into his computer and cross his fingers that something magical occurs as a result, and Fred says he'd be happy to oblige. He adds that he very much wants to keep the thefts on the down-low...though now that Byron knows, he isn't confident that the fucktwat won't blab about it to some of the club members he's friends with. With that said, he urges the trio to hit the sand and find the thief, pronto. Nick and Cody change into the standard lifeguard uniform - a white tank top and blue short shorts (yum!) - and head out to the beach. They quickly spot a man in the water crying for help, and Cody's like, "I'm on it!" and tears off his tank top and leaps into the ocean to perform an impromptu rescue. Byron tears himself away from the shapely blonde he's talking to (Dana) and runs into the water, and is closely followed by Nick. Cody, meanwhile, is attacked by the man he thought was drowning...but a few seconds later, the attacker hastily swims off before Nick and Byron approach. The two help Cody to shore, and after he coughs up some ocean water, he tells them that the fake drowning victim just tried to kill him. While that's happening, Melissa Belancourt is standing on the shore with other club members, looking intrigued by the drama. During an update session with Fred Cushing, Cody tells Byron he has a theory: the man who was pretending to be drowning was actually trying to kill him (meaning Byron) 'cause he would normally be the person leaping into the ocean to perform rescues. Fred's like, "Good point" and asks Byron why he wasn't the first man in the ocean, reminding him that he hired Nick and Cody to suss out the burglar, not do that along with the job he's paying him to do. Byron insists that he's a good lifeguard, then bitchily says he's taking his toys and going home...and once he's safely out of earshot, Nick asks Fred why he doesn't just fire Byron if he's such a shitty employee. Fred says he'd looooooooove to get rid of the useless sack of nothing were it not for Mr. Lawrence, who feels forever indebted to Byron 'cause he once saved him from a heavy surf. Fred sourly adds that Byron is such an all-around dick that he routinely takes full advantage of the owner's loyalty to him. Out in the parking lot, Byron pissily tells Cody he's outa here, then smugly says he assumes that Fred will have to clear the beach, given that there isn't currently a lifeguard on duty. Cody informs him that he and Nick agreed to cover his shift so that the beachgoers don't have to suffer for his immaturity, and Byron pissily says he wishes they hadn't done that, 'cause having to close the beach is the only way he can teach Fred a lesson. Cody chides him for blowing things way out of proportion - but Byron argues that he's the one who's doing that, e.g. hypothesizing about how some random guy in the ocean is out to kill him. A few seconds later, a convertible driven by an attractive brunette (Lizzie Jackson) pulls up to ferry Byron home...and he climbs into the car and cavalierly says, "Ciao" to Cody while a heartbroken Candace watches from several feet away. Dana tells Nick that someone just stole a bracelet from where she was just sitting on the beach, and Nick scrunches his face confusedly 'cause of how carefully he's been studying his surroundings. Cody suggests they ride out the day, then look over the membership list once Murray has fed it into his computer. Murray then lays it on thick with his tough guy persona, nonsensically chiming in, "Me and the machine are tight" before sauntering off. That evening aboard the Riptide, Murray points out that since the club members are all rich, none of them would have a motive for stealing jewelry on the beach - plus, the only club employee who's ever on the beach is the bartender...and, of course, Byron. Nick chews on that for a couple of seconds before remarking on the gold Rolex he noticed Byron was wearing, and Cody gets all prickly about the accusation - but then admits that, yeah, he too couldn't help but notice it. Murray suggests they just come right out and ask Byron whaddap with that and bounds above deck...and Nick hangs back to show Cody a magazine he found amid Murray's stuff that features the headline 'A man: what it means to be one'. They agree that it prolly has something to do with the tough guy persona that Murray has adopted this episode, chuckle about it for a few seconds, then head up the stairs. When no one answers at Byron's apartment, Nick sneaks around to the back of the building, spots someone moving around inside the living room, and enters through the unlocked sliding patio door. As Cody bursts through the front door, the two tackle the person inside the apartment: Melissa Belancourt. Byron bursts into the room and is all WTF?, so Melissa snarkishly accuses Byron of having intimate photos taken while they were in the sack together. Byron stares back at her blankly and says he has no idea what she's talking about, so the Riptide trio head over to the bedroom and quickly realize that a fake smoke detector was installed on the ceiling that hides a video camera...and that whoever lives in the apartment above him apparently has nothing better to do than watch/film his sexcapades. Byron stares up at the fake smoke detector, his expression a peeved/sheepish/intrigued combination.
Nick discovers that the upstairs apartment is leased to a corporation, and Melissa offers up some additional intel: the jerk who's blackmailing her is Edward Steiger. Cody says he knows that Steiger is a PI...and the Riptide trio wonders if perhaps Melissa's husband hired Edward to follow her around and catch her in a compromising situation. She says she highly doubts that, not least 'cause her husband suffered a recent heart attack - a health scare that led her to become so desperately lonely that she sought out extramarital companionship with the first bonehead she happened to encounter. Byron insists that he had nothing to do with the photographs, so the Riptide trio begins hatching a plan to "move in on Steiger". Melissa telephones Edward to propose a faux deal to extricate herself from his blackmail scheme. She fibs that Byron dumped her for another woman and that she's never gotten over the heartbreak...and that his new woman is married, extremely rich, and fully able to pay more than the $5,000 a month he's trying to squeeze out of her. She tells him she has it on good authority that the gigolo and his new lady friend will be canoodling at his apartment this evening...and after she hangs up, she thanks the Riptide trio in advance for their effort to expose Edward for the extortionist creep he is. Nick and Murray walk her out to her car so that Cody and Byron can have a private one-on-one. Byron insists that he'd never be involved in any kind of blackmail scheme, and that he doesn't always know that the women he hits the sheets with are married. Cody motions at his gold Rolex and asks him where he got it, and he sheepishly admits that Melissa gave it to him as a gift. The next morning on the beach, Murray happens to find a gold watch with his metal detector...but when he kneels down and momentarily sets it onto the sand, a small dog trots over, snatches the watch between his teeth, and scampers off. While Fred is informing Nick and Cody that yet more jewelry has gone missing, Murray rushes over and says he thinks he's cracked The Case of the Stolen Jewelry. He explains encountering a dog just now that stole a watch he found with his metal detector, then leads them over to where he suspects that the dog has been stashing his spoils. Fred says he recognizes the dog as a local pooch who hangs around the club a lot, and that the kitchen staff gives him food from time to time. As Murray restrains the miffed looking dog, Nick and Cody dig around the sand and unearth all of the missing jewelry...and when Fred shakes his head in dismay at the unexpected outcome of this investigation, Nick cheekily says, "When you hire the Riptide Agency, sir, you hire the best." LOL.
Candace reminds Byron about her upcoming birthday party, and he looks visibly distracted as he mumbles a half-hearted promise to attend. Candace excitedly tells him she'll save a seat for him at her table, and he abruptly tells her he's gotta go 'cause he has more important things on his mind. Murray is in the apartment above Byron's, staring through the camera that's creepily aimed at the bed below. He tells Nick and Cody that the way in which the camera has been wired suggests that the voyeur has to be close by, and that if they follow the cable they'll no doubt be able to catch the perv in the act of spying on Byron and Lizzie when they're slated to hit the sack at around 7:00pm. Hours later, Byron and Lizzie arrive at his apartment...and as the two start to get busy atop his bed, we see that Edward Steiger is in a nearby apartment, watching the amorousness unfold on his TV screen. Nick sneakily enters the apartment...but Edward hears him and springs up from his chair, and throws a table in his direction before fleeing towards the door - where he encounters Cody, who punches him in the face. After a chase ensues, Edward, Cody, and Nick end up in plunging into the swimming pool...and Cody and Nick pull Edward out of the pool and smugly inform him that his movie-making career just got cut short. Candace is at her seventeenth birthday party, trying to get a hold of Byron by calling his apartment. When Lizzie answers, Candace scrunches her face sadly and hangs up. Meanwhile, a mystery man who's parked outside Byron's apartment building aims a firearm at his bedroom and pulls the trigger, and Byron and Lizzie are all, "Ack!" before they hit the floor, unharmed. The next morning, Cody drops in on Byron, who announces that he's packing his things and abruptly moving to San Francisco. Cody reminds him that he needs to stay in town at least long enough to help the police find whoever tried to kill him last night, but Byron breezily says he just assumes it's someone who's less than pleased about all the women he's been bedding...and that he'd much prefer to slip outa town before things get too serious. Cody chides him for his immaturity, calls him "a thirty-three year old infant", and lectures him on his inability to commit to anything. Byron snappishly counters, "Where's your wife and kids?", so Cody angrily reminds him that he (Byron) blew that chance for him when he stole Jill away. As Byron chuckles at how much losing Jill has clearly bothered him over the years, Cody reminds him that women (and underage girls) weren't put on the planet solely to amuse him. He then solemnly informs him that his latest flavour of the week, Candace, was so distraught that he didn't show up at her birthday party that she overdosed on sleeping pills, and was found unconscious on the beach. He pointedly asks Byron if he slept with the teenager, and Byron semi-sheepishly shrugs and says he had no idea he was committing a felony when he bedded her [and then somehow didn't comprehend that the icky realization should have precluded him from wanting to continue dating the minor]. Cody reacts by giving him a much needed punch in the face, glares down at him in disgust, and says the real tragedy here is that "guys like you never learn a darn thing".
Cody arrives at the club to inform Fred that Byron is about to leave town, and is perplexed when Nick and Murray tell him that Fred is already interviewing for a new lifeguard. Cody murmurs about how weird that is, not least 'cause Byron's decision to leave town was fairly spontaneous...and the three agree that there's something inherently fishy about Fred Cushing and think it'd be a worthwhile endeavour to look into whether or not he had an alibi last night (e.g. around the time someone tried to shoot Byron). Cody and Murray arrive at what they assume is Fred's house, and are befuddled when they discover that it's actually Lizzie's residence. She explains that she and Fred used to date/live together - until she hooked up with Byron. When she helpfully adds that the breakup with Fred was definitely not on good terms, Cody remarks to Murray that it looks as though a scorned Fred could be at the root of the 'who shot at Byron?' mystery. Fred, who's armed with a pistol, is in his car, stalking Byron as he attempts to make a break for San Francisco...and while that's happening, Nick is piloting The Screaming Mimi with Cody aboard. When they notice on the road below that Fred is driving parallel to Byron and makes a motion for him to pull over, Nick prepares to hastily land the chopper. Byron exits his car and sheepishly tells Fred he was going to call him about abruptly abandoning his lifeguarding job, and Fred responds by opening fire and shooting him. Nick, meanwhile, lands Mimi, and Cody chases and eventually subdues Fred, who whines that he couldn't just let Byron get away with taking Lizzie away from him. [Actually, you could have...and thus avoid a lengthy prison sentence.] Cody then walks over to where a lifeless Byron is lying and stares sadly at his old friend. Later, aboard the Riptide, Murray announces that his experimental tough guy act is over...which comes as a giant relief, 'cause one thing he learned was that he can't crush beer cans with his bare palm, and that no one should even care. He admits that the tough guy persona wasn't solely part of his cover - he was actively trying to beef up his image and work on the parts of himself that are soft, e.g. the way he walks, talks, dresses, carries pens in his shirt pocket, emotes etc. etc. He then looks all hang-doggish and explains, "Well...I wanted to be a man." Nick says he totally gets that, then assures him that while he's nowhere near as dreamy-hunky as himself or Cody, he is a man, and Murray beams happily at the kind words. Cody enters the room and tells Nick and Murray that Lieutenant Quinlan has arrested Fred's accomplice, aka the man who attacked him in the ocean when he tried to rescue him. He then says he's off for a solitary drive to brood over his dead pal - but before he goes, he asks Nick if, like Byron, they too suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome, citing their unmarried status and embracing of the Pier 56 lifestyle that can be summarized by "sun, beach, and girls in bikinis". When he rhetorically asks what they have to show for their lives, Nick refrains from pointing out that three grown men living aboard a tiny boat and solving silly cases amid the backdrop of the sun, beach, and girls in bikinis is the kind of escapism '80s TV viewers seemed to really enjoy...and just opines about how no one ever really wants to grow up. He wankingly points out to Cody that the very fact that he's so worried about being a stunted man-child like Byron is proof that it'll never happen - a sentiment with which Murray concurs, and Cody absorbs by staring contemplatively into space.
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