Recap: A grey-haired man (Garrett) is sitting in his office, watching an old black and white movie on his TV, when two men enter the room. Garrett informs the snarlier of the men (Jim Sutherland) that the lead actress in the movie he's watching (Helen Howell) was released from the asylum two weeks ago, then hands over a copy of the release papers that were issued by California's Department of Mental Health. A displeased Jim snidely asks Garrett how hard it could be to keep tabs on a seventy-five year old woman...and when Garrett reminds him that there's no need for any unpleasantness 'cause their families go back a long way, Jim snappishly retorts, "You and my father go back a long way", then grumbles about how his father should have gotten rid of Helen a long time ago. He tells Garrett he wants the matter taken care of asap and quietly...meaning he expects him to turn the town upside down in his effort to locate Helen, hastily rid the world of her, and do it without his father hearing a word about it. Over at Pier 56, Murray is furious when a couple of hot-doggers rev their speedboat past the Riptide, 'causing whatever electronic contraption he was working on to malfunction and excrete an insane amount of smoke that starts billowing out of the boat's windows. Murray complains to Nick and Cody that the hot-doggers have destroyed his prototype, and suggests that the three of them speed after the ruffians with the Ebb Tide - but Nick urges him to chillax and suggests he calmly take the issue to the tenant association. Murray's like, "Fine. I'll go do that right now" ... and as he marches towards the office, Cody and Nick rush after him and implore him to not make too big a deal out what they consider harmless boating fun. Elsewhere on Pier 56, Helen Howell (disguised as a homeless woman) is puttering by a garbage pile when two of Jim Sutherland's thugs advance on her. She manages to escape their clutches by kicking one and smacking the other with a sack - but then stumbles over the railing and plunges into the water below. When she cries that she can't swim, Cody immediately springs into action and dives into the harbor to rescue her, while Nick leaps onto the thugs' getaway car and tries to hold onto the back of it - but eventually gets thrown off. Murray, meanwhile, tosses Cody a life preserver, and Helen clutches it gratefully. The trio brings Helen back to the Riptide to recover from the attempted abduction. For whatever reason, she starts reciting lines from the script of one of her old films...and Nick suddenly realizes that she's one of his favorite actresses, recognizes the film she's reciting from, and jumps in with the next line. When Cody and Murray stare at them confusedly, Nick explains that the woman they just rescued is legendary actress Helen Howell...and that back in the day she was almost as famous as Bette Davis. He then rattles off the various films she starred in...and when someone finally thinks to ask the poor woman if she's hungry, she tells them she could really go for a steak/lobster feast. At Straightaway's, Murray gushes about "how boss" it is to be dining with a bonafide movie star. Helen explains what became of her life since her movie-making days: she's been forcibly committed to a sanitarium for the last fifty years by a man she hooked up with - Danny Sutherland - who was somehow able to conspire with a bunch of phony doctors to get her declared mentally unfit so that he could get his hands on everything she owned. She adds that the scoundrel pretty much cleaned her out - except for one thing: the deed to King Harbor. She cackles about how she put the document in a secret place Danny would never find, then reveals the secret place: behind the fireplace wall in the house Danny stole from her. She then bats her eyes coquettishly at Nick ['cause who the hell could blame her?] and tells him she rather fancies the notion of him becoming her protector. Meanwhile, Jim Sutherland's thugs are aboard the Riptide, ripping it apart in search of the King Harbor deed. The Riptide trio (+ Helen) take a stroll along Pier 56. She laments how all the trees that used to be on the pier decades ago were pulled out in favor of so much unsightly concrete. Nick suggests she restore the pier to its former glory once she gets her deed back - just as they notice that the Riptide door has been flung open...and when they race over, they find that the interior has been ripped apart by the thugs. That evening, Jim admonishes his thugs for their incompetence in allowing Helen Howell to get away and hire PIs. One of the thugs says the PIs foiled their attempt to abduct Helen...and when they searched their boat, they found no sign of the King Harbor deed. Jim stares at him incredulously and reminds him that his over-the-top fury at Helen Howell is not about any deed, but rather an aimless plan to exact revenge on the woman who was responsible for coupling with his father and causing his cuckqueaned mother to cry herself to sleep every night. Garrett refrains from pointing out that his father actually deserves most of the blame, given that he was the one who was unfaithful to his wife - but instead insists that a better use of thug resources would be to focus their attention on the property deed so that the Sutherlands can gain ownership of King Harbor. Jim stubbornly reiterates that he doesn't give even the tiniest of rat's asses about the King Harbor deed...and insists that Helen doesn't deserve to live a minute longer, and that he personally wants payback for her sluttish misdeeds. From fifty years ago. Murray tells Helen that after doing some research, he learned that the deed to King Harbor was transferred to a beachfront development company in 1938. Helen insists that she never signed over ownership to that or any other company, and can only assume that Danny colluded with his mobster pals to falsify the documents. The trio's all, "Danny's in the racket?" and chide her for failing to mention that her vengeful ex-lover has ties to organized crime...but after mulling over the conundrum for a few more seconds, Nick suggests they put the word out that Helen sold them the property and cross their fingers that:
While parked across the street from the Sutherland estate, Helen wistfully reminisces about the house Danny stole from her. Cody wanders over and reports that it looks as though Danny also lives at the estate. Murray wonders aloud how in blazes they're going to get inside what looks like a fortress - but then the trio comes up with the brilliant idea of posing as PayTV technicians. Yep, seems plausible enough. Cody phones the Sutherland home to inquire about whether or not they're currently having technical issues with their PayTV...and while Murray jams the signal, the maid turns on the TV and tells him that, as a matter of fact, they are having problems. She promises to ensure that the gate is opened for them so they can enter the property with their utility truck. Danny Sutherland's plane lands in Riptide-ville...and as he's being ferried to his estate via private limo, he chides Danny for being so rabidly obsessed with punishing Helen for her part in their hookup. He admits that back when he was a young man he was a hot-tempered fucktwat who should have behaved better, then lectures his hot-tempered fucktwat of a son about letting his hatred for his former mistress get so out of whack. He then reveals that he has only one priority while he's back in town: get possession of the deed to King Harbor. Over at the Sutherland estate, Cody is pretending to fix the PayTV while Murray continues to jam the signal. Cody tells one of the thugs that he needs to accompany him atop the roof in order to needlessly fiddle with the antenna so that an unmonitored Nick can take a sledgehammer to the wall behind the fireplace and unearth the King Harbor deed. Soon after that, Murray calls Cody to urge him and Nick to hurry 'cause he just spotted the Sutherland limo en route to the estate. Fortunately, after unbricking much of the fireplace wall, Nick has finally located the deed...and he and Cody race out of the house, climb into their truck, and squeal off - just as the Sutherland limo arrives. As the thugs open fire on Nick and Cody's truck, Jim realizes that the PayTV technicians are actually the PIs that Helen hired...and a dismayed Danny irritably informs his son that he's now taking control of Operation Find the Missing Deed. Helen tears up as she tells the trio how grateful she is to them for recovering the King Harbor deed, which she feared had been lost forever. Murray is giving a televised press conference, declaring himself the new owner of King Harbor who won't divulge the details of this acquisition. Danny, who's watching the press conference from his estate, says he'd be open to a payoff to the PIs in order to get ownership of the harbor - but Jim just grumbles about him being willing to make a deal with the men who work for his ex-mistress. Danny tells his son to shut the fuck up already about the woman he bedded decades ago, snarling, "I might have to look at you while I'm keeping you out of trouble - but I sure as hell don't have to listen to you." As Murray networks with the public and various stakeholders of Pier 56, Cody and Nick monitor the area, but report no sign of Danny Sutherland. A few seconds later, they spot the Sutherland limo...but it drives past Murray and towards where the Riptide is docked. The trio then watches in horror as the thugs storm onto their boat, grab Helen, and force her into the limo before the driver hits the gas. The trio scratch their heads to come up with a plausible explanation as to why Helen was abducted...and without any kind of ransom note. Nick says he just had a brilliant idea that involves The Screaming Mimi, not least 'cause viewers haven't yet had the pleasure of seeing that fugly hunk o' junk go airborne this episode. In the next scene, Nick is piloting his pink chopper with Murray and Cody aboard. He lands it on the Sutherland estate, and then he and Cody engage in a shootout (that amazingly results in zero gunshot wounds), and eventually confiscate the weapons from the bad guys. Inside the house, Danny overhears Jim order one of his thugs to take Helen to his boat, then angrily admonishes his son for his continued fixation on his revenge plot. Jim snaps back, "I don't want that whore to live!" ... and a few seconds later, we hear gunshots being fired. Nick and Cody run inside the house and are shocked to find Danny lying in a pool of blood...and an ashen-faced thug says it looks like Danny's own son offed his own pa before fleeing to the marina [to dispose of Helen]. Cody jumps into the Sutherland limo to chase after Danny, while Nick and Murray provide air support via The Screaming Mimi. When Cody loses Danny in traffic, Nick provides directions of his whereabouts, correctly assuming he'll lead them to wherever Helen has been stashed. Aboard the Sutherland boat, Jim confronts Helen, snarkishly accusing her of "luring my father with your cheap, seductive ways". Helen quickly puts two and two together and realizes that Jim is the son of her former lover, and tries to explains that once she realized Danny was married, she did everything possible to end their relationship. Jim makes it clear that he doesn't believe her/doesn't care...and when he motions at his thugs to take her below deck, she cries for help and starts clutching her chest as if she's suddenly suffering a heart attack. A few seconds later, an armed Nick and Cody storm onto the boat...and after Helen winks at them to signal that she's not really having a heart attack, the thugs shove her in their direction and then all four men engage in a collective beat-down. Jim attempts to flee by jumping onto the boat's accompanying dinghy - but he's closely pursued by Nick and Cody, who also leap off of the boat. Helen grins at Murray and gushes, "Oh, isn't my Nicky just wonderful?!" [mmm...that he is, Helen] as a smugly grinning Nick, who landed with meticulous precision inside the dinghy, manages to simultaneously subdue Jim and help a less precise Cody (who didn't land inside the dinghy) out of the water. That evening, the Riptide trio (+ Helen) lounge aboard the boat and watch one of her old films. Nick gushes about how terrific she was, and she wistfully remarks on how it simultaneously feels to her as if the filming happened yesterday, and that it was another person playing the role. Cody and Nick solemnly concur with that sentiment and say they feel the same way whenever they watch footage of the Vietnam War. A moment later, they present Helen with a gift: a tree to adorn the pier as used to be. She gives them all a happy hug, and then the four exit the boat to seek out the most opportune place to dig up some concrete so that the new tree can be planted. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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