Recap: Jane and Chris are hosting a party (in Jane's apartment) with most of the Melrose Place gang in attendance. Chris gushes about what a super talented designer Jane is, and then Jane gushes about how her design business is only successful 'cause of his expert help. Sydney interjects to tell the partygoers that she too is a fashion designer - but everyone just chuckles and is all, "Whatever, Syd." She then ambles over to the kitchen, and Chris follows her and leans in close as he creepily murmurs, "We both know where your real talents lie, don't we, Syd?" Jo tells Alison she's starting to worry that she won't be able to afford to keep her baby, complaining that 1) she has no health insurance, 2) the lawyer fees to battle the Carters in court are going to wipe out her savings, and 3) she can't get as much freelance photography work as she used to now that she's pregnant. Chris, who's been eavesdropping on the conversation, tells Jo that he and Jane would be delighted to hire her to photograph the design firm's winter catalogue, and Jo's all, "Thaaaaaank you!" and beams at him gratefully. After the party, Sydney once again tells Jane that Chris is a loathsome sleazebag who's been crudely propositioning her and threatening to send her back to the sanitarium. An irked Jane tells her to shut it and accuses her of trying to ruin her relationship...and Sydney warns that one day she'll be very sorry she chose to trust her ghastly beau over her own sister. The next day, Sydney runs into Amanda, who asks her to please move her stuff out of the storage locker now that she's squatting in Jane's apartment. Sydney says she'd really really like to rent her own apartment again, and Amanda says she's A-OK with that, as long as she can get her financials in order. Sydney promises to get on that asap and skips off - just as Jake wanders over and asks Amanda if she's free for lunch, and she responds by staring at him coquettishly. Later at D&D, Amanda is in a pointless meeting with Michael and Kimberly to discuss the ad campaign that Jane wants to launch for her design firm...and that the gruesome twosome want to delay for no other reason than to annoy Jane. As the two file out of the conference room, Bruce wanders in and asks Amanda who she was meeting with just now. She grimly describes Michael and Kimberly as doctors Frankenstein - but Bruce says he likes the cut of their jib so much that he wants to use them as models for a series of lifestyle ads for a big client: Factors Gourmet Coffee. Amanda makes a seriously? face and says she's not sure the couple is really the best casting choice - but Bruce sternly orders her to make it work, then warns that her "star" has been falling at D&D ever since the damaging Chas lawsuit storyline from last season. Susan Madsen is waiting in the D&D reception area for Alison to show herself when she encounters Billy, who assumes she's there 'cause she applied for the assistant job. He tells her he works with Alison, and she murmurs, "Lucky Alison" - just as Alison rushes over, greets her, and introduces her to Billy as her college roommate/BFF. Susan explains to Billy that she's been studying at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris and has just been hired as a chef in a new Santa Barbara restaurant. Amanda heads over to the hospital to sweet talk Michael and Kimberly into posing as models for a series of lifestyle ads designed to peddle Factors Gourmet Coffee. She offers to pay them $5,000 each and wanks that they're the perfect young, urban professionals to appeal to the company's target demographic...then says that a non-negotiable condition for the gig is that they need to sign off on the ad campaign for Jane's design firm. Michael excitedly says he's definitely into the idea, and Amanda's all, "Yay!" and says she'd like to use their beach house for the photo shoot's venue. After she scampers off, Kimberly tells Michael she's afraid that the modelling job is going to violate the hospital's "self promotion rules", so Michael condescendingly says he'll talk to Peter about, since it's obvious he doesn't like her very much...and says this as though he hasn't twigged onto the fact that Peter seems equally as disdainful of him.
Michael makes a beeline over to Peter Burns's office to inform him that he and Kimberly have been asked by an advertising firm to model for a magazine ad during their off duty time...and Peter responds by chiding Michael for being so crassly commercial, adding that since they're residents who are on duty 24/7 every day (which I doubt could possibly be legal), they don't technically have any off duty time and are expected to devote every waking hour of their lives to serving the hospital. Over lunch, Jake shows Amanda the $50,000 check he got from the FBI for his part in helping resolve Palmer's attempt to escape justice. He tells Amanda he'd love her advice on how to turn this 50K into some real financial security for himself, so she suggests he dabble in real estate and/or buy a restaurant or club...and adds that she just heard Shooters is on the market. She then tells him she has to rush back to work and asks him if he wouldn't mind delivering an info packet regarding the upcoming ad campaign to Jane at her design firm. Billy lumbers over to the downtown park where Alison and Susan are having lunch and asks if he can join them...and when Alison shoots him an unwelcome glare, he gets a clue and glumly mutters that he'll go find his own bench. Once he's safely out of hearing range, Alison explains to a confused Susan that Billy is her ex-fiancé and that there's a whole lot they need to catch up on. Over at Jane Mancini Designs, Chris is brazenly ogling Sydney as she works...and when he hovers over her in his usual predatory way, she wearily tells him to just do whatever he's going to do. Chris chuckles at her "paranoia", then chides her for arriving late for work that morning, tut-tutting that tardiness is a bad habit. Sydney snarks back that she'll make up for her lateness at the end of the day, then storms over to the back room - just as Jake arrives to deliver Amanda's info packet. Chris remarks to Jake that Sydney has a tasty rear end which guys used to pay a lot of money for...then cackles, "Thinking about taking it out in trade." Jake's all, "The fuck..?" and stares at Chris in icked out bewilderment, then declines a tip for dropping off the info packet, snappishly explaining that he's a friend of Jane's, not a messenger service. In the Melrose Place courtyard, Jo runs into Jake, who's decked out in a suit and tie for a fancy meeting downtown. She tells him she heard about the 50K reward, compliments him on how nice he cleans up, and says he missed a great party that Jane and her beau threw the other night. Jake makes a blech face at the mention of Chris and calls him a creep before recounting his 'taking it out in trade' remark about Sydney. Peter is on the phone when Amanda steps into his office...and he's so thunderstruck by her blonde hotness that he tells whoever he's talking to, "Someone extraordinary just walked into my office." She introduces herself and tells him she'd very much like it if he gave permission to Michael and Kimberly to appear in the Factors Coffee magazine ad, and he quickly says he'd be more than happy to consider it. Amanda points out that the ad would demystify the medical profession while also offering free publicity for the hospital, and Peter gazes at her all smitten-like and is all, "Sold!" He proceeds to invite her out to dinner...and when she sassily calls him arrogant and asks if there's a Mrs. Burns in the picture, he tells her there is and that she's his mother [womp womp!]. Amanda grins and says she'll let him know about dinner, then sashays out.
Jo is at Jane's studio, busily photographing the company's winter catalogue. When Jane wanders over to gush about how awesome Chris is, Jo's like, "Uh, about that" and repeats Chris's 'taking it out in trade' remark that Jake had passed along to her. Jane rolls her eyes and says she doesn't believe a word of it and is naively assuming that it's all just a big misunderstanding. Back at Melrose Place, Susan asks Billy to taste-test a new recipe, and he eats a spoonful of whatever she concocted and confirms its deliciousness. She then invites him inside Alison's apartment so she can give him a bag filled with some personal stuff he left behind - just as Alison returns home and looks less than thrilled to see Billy in her living room. After he beats a hasty retreat, she fixes herself a martini. While strolling along the beach that evening, Jane blabs to Chris that Jake has been telling people he said a really creepy thing about Sydney, and Chris faux explains that Jake happened to walk in on a tiff that he and Sydney were having regarding him threatening to dock her pay because of her tardiness, and that Sydney was the one who saucily suggested he take it out in trade. Chris then says it might be best for everyone if Sydney moved out of the apartment and got a job elsewhere...or better yet, be returned to the sanitarium for some much-needed mental health counselling. When Jane balks at the idea of sending her sister back to that wretched place, Chris urges her to at least think about it. Jake has summoned the Melrose Place gang to Shooters to treat them to free drinks...and to announce - surprise! - that he just bought the place. As everyone congratulates him on his latest business venture, Jane storms in and confronts Jake about "falsely" spreading the word about what a creep Chris is. An unfazed Jake stands by his opinion and dismissively retorts that if she doesn't want to believe that her not-right-in-the-head boyfriend is one sick individual, it's entirely her prerogative.
Jane returns home and finds Sydney on the couch watching TV, and starts railing about how sick she is of her trying to ruin her relationship with Chris. Sydney insists that she had nothing to do with what Jake told Jo - but Jane refuses to listen and declares that she's officially fired from the studio and that she needs to move out of the apartment by the end of the week. The next day at the beach, Jo is prepping for the Factors Coffee photo shoot, while Michael, Kimberly, and a sweet golden retriever get professionally primped. When Peter Burns appears and wanders in the direction of the shoot, Amanda happily rushes over to greet him. Back at Melrose Place, Susan panics when her van won't start...and when Billy asks her whassup, she wails that she has to be in Santa Barbara to meet with her new boss in a couple of hours. Billy offers to drive her - just as Alison appears and haughtily says that if her friend needs to get somewhere she'll be the one to provide a lift. She and Billy then bicker about whose vehicle is better equipped to make the journey to Santa Barbara...blah blah...and in the end, they all concur that Billy's new car is probably the best transportation option. Sydney goes to the police station to report Chris for plotting against her, and that she has proof - meaning Jake's eyewitness account - of a particularly creepy comment that was directed at her. The uninterested officer tells her she's wasting her time and informs her that Chris has already preemptively warned him that she'd likely make this type of accusation against him. He sternly tells her that if she can't find a job and/or place to live before the end of the weekend, he's going to strongly recommend that she be re-institutionalized. While en route to Santa Barbara in Billy's convertible, Susan and Billy banter about cars, while Alison stares moodily into the distance. When they arrive at De La Mer (Susan's new place of employment), the ashen-faced restauranteur breaks the news to Susan that he can't open as planned 'cause an investor unexpectedly pulled out. While wandering through a nearby park, Susan laments having no van, no job, and no place to live. Alison suggests she move in with her and points out that there's a ton of restaurants in L.A. with which she could seek employment. When Billy chimes in and agrees that that's a great idea, Alison suggests he drive back to L.A. alone so that she and Susan can take the train back to the city and engage in some much-needed girl talk. Over dinner at a fancy restaurant, Peter gushes at Amanda about her gorgeousness...and when she changes the subject and asks him what it's like to run a hospital, he grumbles, "I inherited a mess." He tells her he fully intends to clean house and rid himself of some undesirable resident doctors, then asks her if she thinks he should fire Kimberly and Michael, both of whom he cannot stand. A bewildered Amanda asks why he'd leave that kind of decision up to her, and he stares at her dreamily and coos, "I'm under your spell" to such a degree that he's in the mood to just blindly do whatever she tells him to. Amanda chortles, then raises her glass and toasts, "To Michael and Kimberly. Que será, será." Inside Shooters, Sydney seats herself at the bar and orders a beer. She tells Jake she heard that he told Jane what a disgusting cretin Chris is - but that Jane didn't believe her and promptly fired her and kicked her out of the apartment, moaning that without a job and a home she's likely to be forcibly re-institutionalized. She wonders aloud if maybe she is a bad person - but Jake says he doesn't believe that, and knows from personal experience that bad things are always happening to good people. He then hands her a rag and says there's a waitressing job at Shooters if she wants it...and if she does, he'd be happy to sign off on her work release papers. Sydney tears up and profusely thanks him, promising to be the best waitress he ever had. Susan asks Alison why she pushed Billy away after publicly accusing her father of incest, so Alison explains that she didn't so much push him away than she ditched him at the altar [seems like hair-splitting, but OK] mainly 'cause she doesn't feel safe with anyone and at the moment has zero desire for any type of intimacy. Susan urges her to talk to Billy - but Alison makes it clear she's not interested in any more tête-à-têtes with her boneheaded ex and sharply warns Susan that if she does decide to move in, she shouldn't expect them to become The Three Musketeers.
Amanda hands Sydney the keys to her old apartment, then explains that Chris has taken it upon himself to pay her rent. Sydney stares back at her in horror and vows to repay Chris for however much rent he paid, and a disinterested Amanda's all, "I really don't give a shit who pays, as long as the rent is covered every month." Michael backslaps Peter for scoring a date with a hottie like Amanda, sophomorically adding that he never had the chance to tap that 'cause he was married when she joined the cast as a perpetual "special guest star". Peter admonishes him for his sexist, demeaning-to-women comments and snappishly tells him he needs to shape up or ship out. Billy runs into Susan on the street and invites her out for a sushi lunch - but Susan declines and says she prolly shouldn't start dating her best friend's ex-fiancé. Billy asks her if she'd feel differently if they had met by chance, and she's like, "Dunno", but then admits she's sorry they didn't meet that way. Jake asks Sydney to close up Shooters while he walks Jo home, and Sydney assures him it's no problem and thanks him for entrusting her with the bar. She selects a song from the jukebox and starts wiping down the tables and chairs...and a few seconds later, Chris (!) bursts into the bar and creepishly demands that she start paying him back for his advance on her rent. He then grabs her, smacks her face, and rips open her shirt as he throws her onto the pool table. Sydney frantically grabs a nearby pool cue and clubs him over the head with it, then bolts into the storage room and locks herself inside. Chris knocks on the door and ominously cackles about how he plans to propose to Jane, which will give him everything he's ever wanted: "A mother for my children and a whore just for me." He then growls goodbye and saunters off while Sydney sinks to the floor and sobs. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French 
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