Recap: While laying in bed together, Kimberly gushes to Michael about his prowess in the sack, then blissfully declares that she's with the man she loves and wants them to be official once he's legally divorced from Sydney. Michael tells her he's working on that, so she then gabbles about how excited she is about their imminent transfer out of L.A. so they can start a new life elsewhere. Michael dryly tells her not to start packing, adding, "I'm not in the mood to move." He then climbs out of bed and ambles into the bathroom, coldly instructing her to give him a shout when breakfast is ready...and she stares after him with a crestfallen expression on her face. Over at D&D, Amanda receives a package containing a videotape that was recorded by Palmer before he got shot/blown up by Kathy Ireland. He apologizes for skipping out on her and says that by the time she gets this he'll prolly be halfway to Mexico after hijacking Jake's boat. He chucklingly tells her not to hate him, and she responds by glaring at the TV in dismay. Amanda heads over to the marina and is further dismayed to see that Jake's boat is gone from its slip...then looks concerned when she spots a couple of police officers milling around. She sashays over, introduces herself as a friend of the owner of the Pretty Lady, and says she's pretty sure her fugitive father is a passenger aboard the boat. When she adds that she's already alerted the FBI, one of the officers breaks the news that last night someone witnessed the explosion of the Pretty Lady off the coast of Catalina. At the hospital, Michael runs into Matt and gleefully tells him he got his memory back, and that he's super thrilled to resume his life as a doctor and Kimberly's main man. A concerned looking Matt reminds him that since Kimberly tried to kill him at least twice he should prolly pack a bag and move out of the beach house post haste - but Michael snarlingly tells him to keep his nose out of his bidness and dickishly asks, "Do I judge your lifestyle, man?" A dismayed Matt stares after Michael perplexedly while he joyously skips down the hall. Back at D&D, a pretty young blonde sashays over to Billy and introduces herself as Elizabeth Wyatt, aka his/Alison's new assistant. She wanks him about how much she looooved his writing in Escapade Magazine and coquettishly adds that he looked great on the cover [that time Nancy Donner somehow thought it was a winning idea to so prominently feature one of her staff writers]. Billy perks up at the flattery and invites her out to lunch - just as a peeved looking Alison wanders over to pull him aside and privately chide him for flirting with their new assistant. Billy denies doing any such thing, and Alison's like, "Whatever" before bitchily handing him some notes for an upcoming meeting. Jane and Sydney are toiling away at the design studio when Michael bursts in and demands that Sydney sign the divorce papers. When Sydney's response is, "Go to hell", he threatens to get her to change her mind by sending Kimberly over to "reason" with her. Jane interjects and tells him they'll get back to him with a proposed divorce settlement, and Michael reluctantly agrees to give them until the end of the day to respond.
That evening, Jo drops by Amanda's apartment to complain about a running water issue, and a despondent Amanda's like, "I don't give a shit, call a plumber" and tells her to get lost. Jo puts her concerned face on and asks her what's wrong, so Amanda tells her that the Pretty Lady blew up off the coast of Catalina, likely with her father and Jake on board. As a stunned Jo's all, "OMG!", Amanda tells her to stuff it with her shocked reaction 'cause she can't deal with another person's grief, then asks her please keep mum about it until morning. The next morning, Chris arrives at Jane's apartment for a smooch and to suggest that Sydney's divorce settlement include Michael's share of her design firm. Sydney concurs and acknowledges that she needs to repay Jane for everything she's done for her...and after Jane and Chris head out, she calls Michael and arranges for them to meet up for dinner so they can haggle over the specifics of the divorce settlement. Over in the courtyard, Alison runs into Amanda and asks if her D&D workstation can be moved further away from Billy's, and Amanda responds by haughtily comparing the levels of seriousness of their respective problems:
She bitchily says she'll make the desk relocation her top priority and stomps off, leaving an aghast looking Alison staring after her in bewilderment. Billy gets the bad news about Jake while on the phone at D&D. When he explains the sitch to Elizabeth, she clucks sympathetically and offers comfort by touching his hand - just as Alison ambles over to shoot Elizabeth the stink-eye and ask Billy to let her know if he learns anything further about Jake's rescue or recovery. Over dinner at a fancy restaurant, Michael tells Sydney he's going to stick with Kimberly out of a deep sense of guilt and shame, and offers to give her (Sydney) a payout of $5,000 to sign the divorce papers. Sydney calls that nuts, then reminds him that he once professed his love for her - and he counters that she's just as nuts as Kimberly and reminds her that while in the sanitarium she confessed to trying to kill him. Sydney says that for whatever God-only-knows-why reason she really really wants to stay married to him...and when Michael wearily tells her to just take the $5,000 and get out of his life, Sydney responds by getting miffed and declaring that the divorce settlement is going to have to include him giving up his share of Jane's design firm...and that if he refuses, she'll hire a lawyer. Back at Melrose Place, Jane and Chris are smooching on her couch...and when she self-deprecatingly wonders aloud what he ever saw in her, he coos about her talent, all the things they can accomplish together, and purrs, "I need everything you have to offer." He tells her she's beautiful, gives her a final smooch, and abruptly says he should be heading home now. Later that night, Coast Guard officers are searching the area where Pretty Lady exploded when they miraculously find Jake clinging to a buoy for dear life. They hastily toss him a life preserver and tow him towards their boat. In the Melrose Place courtyard, Alison, Billy, Jo, and Matt have gathered together to lament the loss of Jake - when suddenly an exhausted looking Jake stumbles in. Jo tears up and rushes over to hug him, but he just kind of pushes her aside and promises everyone he'll fill them in on everything he just endured after he talks to Amanda. Amanda is visibly relieved to see that Jake is alive and well, and has somehow convinced herself that her dad was able to escape to South America. Jake tells her he's 100% sure Palmer is dead, then describes how Kathy Ireland shot him before motoring away on her boat and then detonating the Pretty Lady. He describes how he spotted the stash of explosives seconds before everything went kaboom!, dove into the ocean in the nick of time, and miraculously survived. He further explains that Palmer and Kathy Ireland had been in cahoots to carry out a revenge plot against him (Jake) - until she unexpectedly turned on Palmer, this is - and that their plan was to blow up the Pretty Lady (with him on it) before absconding with the $1 million via a second boat. A deflated Amanda stares back at him sadly and mumbles, "Well...there it is."
Jane warns Sydney to keep her guard up when it comes to Michael attempting to wear her down during their divorce negotiations, and Sydney assures her she'll do her very best to not screw the pooch 'cause she's determined to convince Michael to hand over his share of her design firm. Jane says if they can't hammer out a settlement, she's going to hire a lawyer...and a few seconds after she heads off to work, Sydney calls Michael at the hospital. He tells her he had papers drawn up and wants to meet up in person in a hotel room, and Sydney perkily agrees to stop by - despite that sounding like a really really bad idea that nothing good could possibly come of. Amanda is summoned to the morgue to officially ID Palmer...whose body is somehow fully intact and identifiable after being on a boat that got blown up and then burned to smithereens. When the coroner pulls open the drawer containing Palmer's remains, Amanda asks the doctor and Jake to give her a moment alone with the corpse, which mercifully takes place off camera. At Shooters, Jo tells Alison she's suddenly finding it difficult to be just platonic with Jake and can't decide if she should share her feelings with him or keep it to herself. [Definitely keep it to yourself, Jo.] Alison urges her to share these feelings with Jake and figure out where they stand - just as she spots Billy enter the bar with Elizabeth. She snarkishly tells Jo how nauseating it is, watching the perky blonde drool all over her ex...then gets up and wanders over to where they're standing. She pulls Billy aside to chide him about how unprofessional it is of him to date their assistant, and Billy nonsensically retorts that the only reason he ended up working at D&D was 'cause he got fired at his previous job for helping her out. He accuses her of repeatedly blowing off their relationship, flatly refuses to stop seeing Elizabeth, and snidely pronounces, "She's you, two years ago." Ouch. Jake escorts Amanda back to her apartment...and she flops onto her couch, thanks him for accompanying her to the morgue, and pontificates about how her dad is prolly better off dead than languishing in a prison cell. Jake leans in to give her a comforting hug - but when she responds by kissing him, he pulls away and says he wants to remain un-coupled for the foreseeable future. Amanda poutishly argues, "But I neeeeeeed you" and says she feels as though he's abandoning her...and he insists he's not, but then gets up and beats a hasty retreat. Sydney arrives at the hotel to meet up with Michael, and he strips off his flannel shirt, sexily canoodles her, and tells her he's only sticking with Kimberly 'cause he's too afraid not to. Between smooches, he says if he doesn't provide Kimberly with proof that he's divorced she might come after her (meaning Sydney), and that he absolutely can't let that happen. He coos about how desperately he needs her trust to get rid of crazy Kimberly, and Sydney softens and looks as though she's buying this obvious nonsense. He calls her his soulmate, begs her to sign the divorce papers, saying, "It's the only way out" ... and so Sydney stupidly scribbles her signature on the papers. When he sees that she's signed, he immediately puts an end to the canoodling, chuckles about how she just relinquished all rights to his share of Jane's design firm, and holds up a large stash o' cash (aka the $5,000 divorce settlement) and quips, "Taking money for not having sex...little odd, don't you think?" After he smugly sashays out of the room, a humiliated Sydney vows to make him suffer for fooling her so ridiculously easily. The next day at Jane Mancini Designs, Jane tells Sydney that they have an appointment with their new lawyer this afternoon - but Sydney insists that it's not necessary and fibs that Michael agreed to all of her demands. Jane smiles in response and says she'll go ahead and cancel the appointment with the lawyer. Jo stops in at Jake's apartment and asks if they can have a tête-à-tête, then comes right out and tells him that it really hurt her feelings when he brushed her off her last night in favor of going up to Amanda's apartment. An incredulous looking Jake asks if she thinks staying in the courtyard and chatting with her should have been his priority after nearly getting blown up, and she's like, "Er, yeah..?" and says he really needs to have the right priorities. Jake bellows about how sick and tired he is of all "the petty garbage" at the Melrose Place complex and accuses Jo of being self absorbed...then goes on a rant about how he's tried to do right by people, only to have his efforts bite him in the ass. He declares that he's adopting a new life philosophy of "don't help anyone or expect help in return" and barks at Jo to leave...and as he slams the door after her, she snarls, "Have a nice life."
Michael bursts into Jane Mancini Designs and tells Jane and Chris he's been going over their books - and Jane interjects and is all, "Wuh? I thought you gave up your share of the business." Michael smugly reveals that he settled the divorce for a measly $5,000...and Jane glares over at Sydney, who sheepishly apologizes for being so stupidly gullible. Michael smilingly thanks Sydney for signing the papers and saunters out...and Sydney admits to handling her divorce settlement in the dumbest way possible, and that it's become painfully clear that Michael wants to be part of her (Jane's) life any way he can. Back at D&D, Alison and Billy are discussing an important account - just as Elizabeth wanders over. Billy includes her in the discussion and tells an appalled looking Alison that it's definitely appropriate to welcome their assistant's feedback...but when Elizabeth looks visibly uncomfortable and hastily excuses herself to go to the filing room, Alison chides Billy for treating a low level employee as a peer. She asks if he and the blonde are an item...and when Billy declines to answer, Alison gives him a heads up that she's been asked out by someone from the office and is planning on saying yes. Billy's like, "I couldn't give even the tiniest of rat's asses", then asks her to please remove the framed photo of the two of them from her work desk 'cause it's making Elizabeth uncomfortable. Jake packs a bag, then heads over to Matt's apartment to hand over his keys and ask him to pass along a message to Amanda that he's moving out and has zero idea where he's headed. A stunned Matt shakes his hand and wishes him well...and then Jake climbs atop his motorcycle and rides off into the night. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French 
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