Melrose Place - Season 3, Episode 20

Jo documents L.A.'s seedy underbelly

"St. Valentine's Day Massacre"
Original airdate: 2/13/1995

Episode summary: Jane and Jake liberate Sydney from Martin's cult camp. Jo witnesses Detective John Rawlings assault a drug dealer. Amanda accepts help from Billy and Alison as she undergoes chemo treatments.

---

Recap: Martin unlocks Sydney's underground pit prison, smarmily wishes her a good morning, and extends a hand to help her out. Sydney irritably points out that she could have died while captive in the pit - but he just kinda shrugs and says her death woulda been on her 'cause she stubbornly refused to write the gimme money letter to her family like he ordered her to. As Sydney glances across the desert, he tells her she's free to run off - but hopes she won't 'cause clearly she has the courage to leave her dreadful L.A. life behind in pursuit of something weird and culty. He then says that at the moment her two choices are hitchhiking or breakfast, and she smilingly opts for breakfast and walks with him in the direction of the camper.

Over at the hospital, Amanda is making D&D calls while getting her first chemo treatment. Michael urges her to chillax, 'cause she's going to need a lot of rest for the difficult days ahead - but she breezily insists she's fine, and that he should worry about his patients who have real problems. 

Jane stops by Jake's place to ask him if he's heard from Sydney lately, and he tells her he hasn't - but that before she left for L.A. she kept jabbering about how he needs to pull his weight, waxed on about some Martin guy, and shared that she was going to a vacation resort with her new friends. Jane ruefully says she thinks they're more cult members than friends, and that she did some research about Martin and was able to quickly deduce that he's a very bad guy. She worries that Sydney is the perfect target for a cult 'cause of what a gullible dodo she is, and now believes it was one of the cultists who trashed Shooters. Well duh.

Back at the hospital, Matt is collecting his work messages at the reception desk when he runs into Detective John Rawlings, who flirtily invites him to dinner later. Matt politely declines and fibs that he's soooo busy today that he's only going to have time to eat at his desk, and a disappointed John's like, "OK, see you around."
 
Amanda arrives at D&D, barrels over to Alison's cubicle, and bitchily asks WTF with her communicating directly with Bob McGovern (of Glorious Gowns) without her permission. Alison calmly explains that Bob wanted to check on the campaign's artwork, so she obliged him - and Amanda rails that she hadn't yet approved the copy, and snarlingly reminds her that nothing is to leave this office without her say-so. Alison stares back at her mutely, then sweetly says, "You're right. Sorry.." and offers to fetch her a cup of tea. Amanda shoots Billy a suspicious stink-eye and orders him and Alison to hightail it to her office...and once they're out of hearing range of the other employees, she blasts Billy for blabbing about her cancer to Alison. Billy admits that, yeah, he was barely able to keep her secret for a day, then insists he had to tell Alison 'cause they've both been busting their butts, picking up the slack while she spends more and more time at the hospital. Amanda defensively insists that she can easily keep up with the workload - but Billy and Alison argue that she obviously can't, and that they're only trying to help. Amanda growlingly warns to not try to fill her shoes, then reminds them to keep their traps shut about her illness, 'cause if it's not business as usual at D&D, they're all going to be out of work.

"You divulged my secret to Alison?!"

"You thought I was capable of keeping a secret?!"

Back at Camp Cult, Martin is enjoying some target practice with his firearm collection, while Rikki stares at him dreamily and coos about how focused he is on the beer bottles he's aiming to shatter. When Sydney ambles over with Martin's lunch, he asks her if she'd like to try her hand at shooting beer bottles...and after a bit of hemming and hawing she agrees. She slips into the nearby shed and looks stunned by the well stocked armoury, then just picks up the first gun she sees. Martin schools her on how to stand and aim the gun...and when she pulls the trigger, the bullet smashes one of the bottles. Martin grins approvingly and remarks on how well Sydney's cult training is coming along.

Jane drops by Shooters to report to Jake that after making some calls she learned that Sydney is most likely "vacationing" at a cult compound in Tucson...and Jake is all, "Whoa.." and says he'll accompany her there tomorrow. Across the bar, meanwhile, Matt is enjoying a drink with Jo as she gabbles about her new job at L.A. Monthly. A few seconds later, Detective John Rawlings enters the bar and makes a beeline over to Matt, who looks less than thrilled at his annoying persistence. He introduces John to Jo, who shares that her new work assignment is to photograph "the real" L.A. nightlife. John tells her she likely won't be able to enter the kind of seedy territory that would give her the best possible photographic opportunities and offers to take her on a ride-along, and Jo looks visibly intrigued by the prospect.

Over at the beach house, Michael and Kimberly are going at it in bed when Amanda calls to tearfully plead with Michael to make a house call 'cause she's suddenly feeling very sick from the chemo treatments. He tells her he'll be there in twenty minutes, then leaps out of bed to put on some clothes...leaving a dissatisfied Kimberly glaring angrily into space.

​Michael arrives at Amanda's apartment with soda, crackers, and medication for her nausea and tells her it's critically important that she rest while undergoing chemo. She reluctantly agrees to take his advice, then implores him to stay with her until she falls asleep, and he's like 'sure, it's not like I have anything better to do', and the two contentedly snuggle together on her couch. Mmm hmm..

​Jake and Jane stop at a diner while en route to Tucson. Jane profusely thanks Jake for agreeing to accompany her on this road trip and is soooo worried that something terrible might happen to Sydney - but Jake points out that Sydney is stubborn as fuck and surely won't allow herself to be talked into doing anything she doesn't want to do.

At the hospital, a miffed Kimberly asks Michael why he didn't tell her that Amanda has lymphoma, and he reminds her about the main rule doctors are required to follow: maintain doctor-patient confidentiality. Kimberly points out that Amanda needs to be under the direct care of an oncologist, and Michael tells her that the hospital's oncology department is aware of her treatment, and is A-OK with him taking the lead in her case 'cause she's very comfortable with him being her physician...and Kimberly once again reacts to Michael's devotion to Amanda by glaring angrily into space.

Jo is on the ride-along with Detective John Rawlings, photographing the mean streets with its scantily clad hookers and other ne'er-do-wells. John smugly points out that she'd never be able to get this kind of access if she were out here on her own...and says this as though they're not both standing on a public street that looks like any person interested enough in being there could easily access. A few seconds later, John gets a call on his cell phone regarding a drug dealer, so he tells Jo they need to take off, pronto. The two arrive at a dark alley, and John ominously pulls out his gun and cautions Jo to stay in the car. He then disappears...and a few seconds later Jo hears scuffling noises and glass breaking, so naturally she sneaks out of the car to see whassup. She's stunned to covertly witness John punching and kicking the drug dealer until the poor man loses consciousness...and so she pulls out her camera and snaps incriminating photos of the assault before slipping back inside the car. John returns a short while later and tells her he's going to have to take her home now, and she says she totally understands.

Sydney is ambling around Camp Cult clutching a laundry basket when she spots headlights coming towards her. When the alarmed cultists scramble to arm themselves, Sydney tells Martin everyone can stand down 'cause the car is her sister's. Martin orders her to get rid of Jane asap...so when Jane exits the car and runs over to Sydney and attempts a hug, Sydney coldly tells her to leave her alone, unconvincingly insists that she's happy with her meagre accommodations in the desert camp, and pronounces, "It may not be Camelot, but it's the home I've always dreamed of." Jane gives her a funny look [at that obvious cry for help] and asks her if she's really absolutely 100% sure 'bout that, and Sydney replies that she really needs to stay. Jane's like 'er, OK..?' and heads back to her car...and as she and Jake drive off, Martin mutters, "Go in love" and wankingly tells Sydney she's definitely developing into a stronger person.

"Don’t let it be forgot, that for one brief, shining moment there was Camelot."

"I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but that seems like a vague clue of some kind."

The next morning, Jo shows Matt the developed photos of Detective John Rawlings kicking the ever loving shit out of the poor drug dealer...and Matt tells her that John has a troubling violent streak, explaining that he also threatened Kimberly when he learned that she sent two anti-gay thugs to rough him up. Jo says she's reluctant to get involved in any police-related drama now that she's gotten her life back together, then weakly wonders aloud, "Maybe the attack was justified..?" as Matt scrunches his face skeptically.

After returning to Melrose Place, Jane tells Jake she feels like they missed something while in Tucson...and now believes that, in light of Sydney's weird Camelot talk, she's being held at Cult Camp under duress. Jake says he'd love to make the gruelling drive with her to Arizona a second time (!) and gaily offers, "Let's go save Sydney's butt!"

Back at D&D, Alison and Billy present Amanda with a wind-up Valentine's Day toy. Amanda smiles delightedly at the sweet gesture...but then takes her fist to it after the two exit her office.

Michael asks Matt for advice on how to help a patient access a medical research study in New York that claims it's full. Matt explains that "full" doesn't always mean "no vacancy", and more than likely the project manager is just being selective. He urges Michael to push hard for his patient, and Michael quietly contemplates doing exactly that.

Two police officers from Internal Affairs drops by Jo's apartment to ask her if she happened to witness any crimes that may have been committed by Detective John Rawlings in a dark alley during her ride-along. She's like, "Nope, don't know nuthin' about nuthin'" ... and the cops seem satisfied enough with that response and leave.

Billy drops in on Alison to celebrate Valentine's Day evening with a bowl of popcorn, a couple of movie choices, and a bouquet of flowers. Alison selects The Dirty Dozen over the rom-com and gives him a happy hug.

Back in Tucson, Rikki rushes into the camper and grimly informs Sydney that her sister is back. Martin hands Sydney a gun and tells her she's to shoot both Jane and Jake if they don't immediately leave. Sydney pretends she's onboard with that craziness and tells him she just needs a moment alone with her concerned loved ones, then heads outside and covertly tells Jane that she's brandishing her weapon in an effort to save her life. For Martin's benefit she loudly lays it on thick about not wanting them to ruin her life, but then sadly mouths to Jake 'please go'. As soon as Jake and Jane climb back into the car, Sydney shoots at the tires of the cultists' vehicles, triumphantly yells, "Adios fruitcakes!" - lol - then dashes over to Jane's car and leaps into the back seat. As the three squeal off, Martin cautions an incensed Rikki to refrain from shooting at them, explaining, "We'll take care of Sydney another time."

The next morning, Jane stops by Jake's apartment to report that a fully de-programmed Sydney is A-OK, and that she's meeting with her probation officer later. She then coquettishly thanks him for all of his help, and invites him to her place later for a home-cooked appreciation dinner. Jake blushingly tells her he definitely likes the sound of that, and Jane beams happily and flirtily says, "See ya" before sashaying off.

"The two of us should totally hook up."

"Since my goal is to work my way sexually through every female resident in this apartment complex...can do."

Jo visits Matt to show him the photos she took of Detective John Rawling's assault on the hapless drug dealer, and nervously natters about how worried she is that this is going to blow up her life. Matt cautions her to not destroy the photos and offers to hang onto them while she decides what her next move is going to be, and she thanks him for his help and nervously leaves.

Michael drops by D&D to inform Amanda that her white blood cell count is dangerously low, and that he really really wants to get her into a private research study being run by a New York doctor (Dr. Richard Steele) - but is getting the runaround about the study being full. He proposes they go to New York together and camp out on Dr. Steele's door until he agrees to include her...and Amanda chews on that prospect for a few seconds before telling him to book the flight. 

Jo is walking home alone, carrying a bag of groceries, when Detective John Rawlings appears out of nowhere to ask her if she truly did stay in the car while he was beating up the drug dealer...adding that he knows how nosy some people can get. He anxiously says he neeeeeeds to know who his friends are, and she assures him that, yep, she's his friend all right...and he seems convinced enough of that and wanders off. When Jo arrives at her apartment a few seconds later, she's visibly aghast to see that it's been completely ransacked, and then wanders around the mess in a teary daze.

Sydney is relaxing from her ordeal at Camp Cult when the phone rings and Rikki leaves a message on her machine. While being canoodled by Martin, Rikki tells Sydney they both miss her, promising, "We'll be back for you." An alarmed Sydney rushes downstairs to seek comfort from Jane - but when she glances through the window and sees that Jane and Jake are having a cozy, non-platonic looking dinner together, she stares at them with a devastated, haunted looking expression.

Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---