Recap: During a meeting with her lawyer, Jo confesses to conspiring to fake her baby's death, adding that she damn well knew at the time it was wrong...but that Kimberly has now stolen the tot from her. The lawyer stares back at her with a mixture of disgust and disbelief, tells her he had been working on an appeal to get her baby back - but now has no choice but to pretend that they never had this conversation. He tells her she needs help that he's no longer willing/able to provide, and urges her to find a good criminal attorney...and maybe a team of psychiatrists to get to the bottom of why she ever thought it'd be a good idea to trust a cuckoo-bananas lunatic like Kimberly. Michael calls Jane to coo that he can't stop thinking about her after their sexy romp in Vegas, which Jane breezily refers to as meaningless sex. Michael argues that he strongly sensed that they both felt something resembling love for each other, to which she replies, "It was just something to do" and abruptly hangs up the phone. LOL. Over at D&D, Amanda summons Billy to her office and says she just heard from the Twin Oaks rehab center that Alison voluntarily checked herself in...and that D&D is getting stuck with the bill (as per company policy). Amanda orders him again to fire Alison - but Billy says that that'd be against the law, then admits that he knowingly held off on the firing 'cause he knew how badly Alison needed help that D&D can well afford to pay for. Amanda chucklingly says she loooooves his sneaky side, then playfully grabs him by the chin and warns, "Do it again, and I fry you." Peter drops by Amanda's office, kisses her hello, and says he's been hearing rumors that some D&D accounts are "shaky" and wondered if she needed help. Amanda snarks back that she's still dealing with the backlash of Bruce's melodramatic self-inflicted mercy killing and doesn't appreciate being second guessed...and Peter applauds her bitchy toughness, assures her he trusts that she can handle the pressure, and reminds her about their dinner plans later. As he heads towards the door, he warns her to watch out for Billy 'cause it's obvious he's totes into her...and Amanda refrains from pointing out that, as incredulous as it is, it's really more the other way around. During group therapy at Twin Oaks, Alison recounts how she turned to boozing to deal with her father's past abuse, when Terry (a well-known football player) bursts out laughing and calls her bloviating "self pitying garbage". The mediator, Marcia, urges Terry to show some compassion, but then tells Alison that her 'I cope with my problems by drinking' story is pretty much exactly the same as everyone else's. She assigns Alison to help Terry with kitchen duty...and when the session wraps up and everyone starts dispersing, Alison and Terry shoot hateful glares at one another. Sydney drops by Jake's apartment to once again insist that she was genuinely frightened for her life while she was Chris's captive in Vegas, and realizes that the luxury suite, jewelry, and designer clothes was a bad look. She says she truly thought that Chris would hurt her, is grateful he (Jake) showed up to rescue her, and credits him with being the only person she can trust. She needlessly adds that she didn't sleep with Chris while they were in Vegas...and when Jake gives her a strange look and asks her where she did sleep with him, she admits to hitting the sack with the creep after he threatened to beat him (Jake). She beseeches, "I did it for you, Jake!", but Jake just glares at her stonily before mumbling that he's off to Shooters. In the Twin Oak's kitchen, Alison tells Terry they got off on the wrong foot, and wankingly gushes about what a great athlete he is. Terry chides her for sucking up to him, then grabs her by the arm and snarlingly calls her "a butt kissing little blonde bimbo who's too afraid to admit that she's a drunk". Alison yells back at him to go to hell, and he snarls back that he's been there, and is just now trying to climb his way out. Jane receives a bouquet of roses, courtesy of Michael. She tells the delivery boy to forward the pretty flowers (and the accompanying note) to the beach house...then giggles mischievously to herself. Billy and Susan join Matt and Jeffrey for dinner...and while slicing vegetables, Jeffrey accidentally cuts his finger and reacts by completely freaking out and running out of the apartment. Matt follows him, sits beside him on the stairwell, and assures him that the cut isn't all that deep and that he wants them to share their lives together, HIV or no HIV. Kimberly is putting the stolen baby down for a nap when - uh oh - the flower delivery boy arrives. She looks delighted by the sight of the roses - until a few seconds after she reads the accompanying note: Jane, You will always be my wife.. My one True Love. Love, Michael Kimberly seethes, "Isn't that sweet?" and throws the flowers against the wall, which causes the baby to wake up and start mewling. The next morning, Kimberly wakes Michael by throwing the Jane note at him and asks what he has to say for himself, and he nervously laughs it off and nonsensically explains that sending Jane flowers was a means of keeping her off guard. Kimberly snarlingly decrees that if he's not choosing her/their new baby and would prefer he run off with his ex-wife/current mistress, he's going to need to pack up and move out asap. Maria suddenly rushes into the room to report that the baby is having trouble breathing...and Kimberly's all, "Ack!" and races over to the tot, quickly determining that he has a minor infection and can be treated him at home. Michael chooses that moment to declare that he's officially choosing her/their new baby, then ambles over to the refrigerator to get some formula. Alison calls Casa Billy and leaves a message with Susan that she really really wants Billy to attend a special meeting at Twin Oaks this evening that's featuring all of the supportive people who urged their loved ones to check themselves into rehab. Susan promises to pass that info along - just as Terry throws a sponge at Alison and orders her to get back to work. When Alison calls him a rude pig, he contritely admits that he is a pig, specifically a sexually compulsive pig, who - up until recently - liked to bed hot young women before discarding them so he could pursue scoring with the next hot young woman. He adds that at first he figured it was all just part of being a football star [though really just gross] - but soon realized that he was incapable of emotionally committing himself to any person or thing. Alison chews on that disturbing revelation for a few seconds before urging him to bring it up at the next group therapy session - but he says he definitely doesn't wanna do that...and apologizes for his boorish behavior. Later, Alison is visibly upset when Billy's a no show for the 'supportive people' meeting. She excuses herself to call Billy's apartment - just as Billy and Susan are on the couch in mid-canoodle. Susan implores Billy to ignore the ringing phone 'cause she doesn't want to share him tonight...and when the answering machine kicks in, Alison declines to leave a message. She returns to her room, climbs out the window, and flees to the nearest watering hole. A panicked Kimberly tells Michael that the baby is still feverish - but that she's loathe to take him to the ER 'cause she doesn't have his birth certificate. [Um...didn't she take care of all that during the planning phase of 'Pretend Jo's Baby is Stillborn' fiasco??] She fibs that she bought the tot on the black market, and Michael looks aghast at that fake confession - but insists that what matters most is Michael Jr. getting the medical treatment he needs. Later, an inebriated Alison loudly climbs back into her Twin Oaks room...and is startled to see that Terry is sitting in a chair, staring at her all judgey-like. She growls at him to get the hell out, then makes it clear that he shouldn't get any ideas about indulging his sex addiction 'cause he's far too beefy to be her type. Terry warns that she prolly shouldn't go on benders while in rehab, then grabs her by the hair (!), and uses the nearby sink to splash water across her face. He proceeds to throw her atop the bed and commands her to sleep it off, and announces that - since he gives a damn what happens to her - he's going to sit in the chair all night to ensure that she doesn't run off again. At the hospital, Jo tells Michael she somehow learned that her baby is sick...and explains that after she and Kimberly were conspiring to fake her baby's death shortly after delivery, Kimberly changed course and kept the tot for herself. Michael says he doesn't buy that story, despite it being pretty consistent with Kimberly's general nuttiness - but agrees to run a blood test in order to determine the child's parentage. Alison wakes up the next morning, sees that Terry is asleep in the chair, and pokes him awake so she can thank him for covering for her last night. She admits to being really really hurt that Billy didn't show up at last night's meeting, but is newly committed to getting sober. Terry confesses that while he watched her sleep, the old him wanted to pounce atop her and get it on - but then decided he'd much rather they remain friends so he can do whatever he can to help her get well. Over breakfast, Jeffrey tells Matt he's still really reluctant to move in - just as Amanda drops by to needlessly inform the two that Susan blabbed to her about last night's bloody finger injury. She goes on to say that the Jeffrey's HIV status is A-OK with her, and that she doesn't consider him a health hazard, even if he were to take a dip in the communal swimming pool. Matt abruptly thanks her and shuts the door, and a miffed Jeffrey's all, "I can't belieeeeeeeve you told Susan that I'm HIV positive!" and storms out. While lunching together at D&D, Billy tells Amanda he'd be more than happy to take the insurance forms over to Twin Oaks so Alison can sign them. A few seconds later, Peter enters Amanda's office and dickishly remarks on how he always seems to find the two of them together, then sourly brings up their past romantic relationship. Billy wisely beats a hasty retreat with the insurance papers, while Amanda chides Peter for 'dissing her in front of a subordinate. Peter says he's mightily pissed that he had to hear from the D&D rumor mill that Billy once impregnated her (ew), then comes right out and asks her if she loves the dumb oaf. Amanda snaps back that her sexual history is none of his business and that he needs to back the hell off...so he abruptly changes the subject to their plans to dine at the club tonight so he can introduce her to investors, and she responds by shooting him an extra squinty stink-eye. Alison is standoffish to Billy when he drops by Twin Oaks with the insurance papers, then says she's sooooooo angry with him for not coming to last night's special meeting. Billy stares back at her blankly and says he doesn't know nuthin' about no meetin' on account of Susan didn't pass along her message...and Alison's anger instantly deflates as she assures him she believes him, then hugs him and apologizes for her bitchitude just now. Billy returns to Melrose Place and asks Susan WTF about her not passing along Alison's message about the special Twin Oaks meeting. Susan pretends she simply forgot, then says she finds Alison's constant emergencies deeply annoying [who among us doesn't, Susan?]. She explains that she's less than sympathetic to Alison's drunkenness 'cause her own mother was an alcoholic and never took proper care of her during her formative years. She says she'd looooove it so much if he just left Alison to her own devices in favor of giving their chemistry-free relationship a much needed boost - but Billy says he simply can't bring himself to abandon a friend when she needs help, and that he's always going to care about what happens to Alison. Susan reacts by shooting him an angry glare before stomping off. In group therapy, Alison sheepishly acknowledges that she spent the previous session blaming other people for her drinking problem - but is newly inspired by how readily Terry opened up about his various, um, issues. She declares that she's ready to get to work and introduces herself, "I'm Alison. I'm an alcoholic" and everyone claps heartily in response. Jeffrey tells Matt he totally gets how stressful their dating situation has been on him, then announces that he needs to take some time alone to process his illness. The two declare their love for one another and clasp hands. Snore. Susan is all packed up and ready to move - just as Billy ambles into the Melrose Place courtyard. She hands him her keys and chides herself for ever trying to get in the middle of him and Alison...and when Billy half-heartedly says he still really cares about her, she snarls, "Go to hell!" and stomps off. When Terry walks Alison to her door, she thanks him for all of his help...and he responds by leaning in for a smooch. Alison hastily stops him and says she can't let him do this...and when he insists his feelings are real (e.g. not his sex addiction creeping in), she brusquely says goodnight and slips into the safety of her room. Peter shows up unexpectedly at Amanda's apartment to take her out for drinks so they can discuss their deteriorating relationship largely due to his alarmingly sudden overbearing attitude - but Amanda wearily says that since they've been out together the last two nights, she's declining 'cause of all the work that's been piling up. Peter grumbles about how she's always busy with work [which is a strange thing to say, given that he's now the D&D Über boss], then gets all menacing when he tells her she needs to wake up to the reality that the only reason she has this job is 'cause she slept with him. As he advances on her (!), she warns him to not physically hurt her, and he promises not to, but warns, "Nobody walks out on me. No one" and glares at her some more before sauntering out of the apartment. Yeesh. Michael calls Jo to inform her that the blood tests prove the baby is, in fact, her biological son. He adds that it's obvious she doesn't want the tot to be handed over to the Carters, and points out that if he and Kimberly raise him, she can see him every now and again and be known as Aunt Jo. An incredulous Jo decrees that no one, particularly him and his freakshow of a wife, can keep her from her baby - to which Michael replies, "Oh Jo, I'm afraid it's a done deal" and abruptly hangs up. In response, an enraged Jo throws the phone at the wall, along with whatever other objects are in reach. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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