Melrose Place - Season 3, Episode 13

Sydney decides she's A-OK with exchanging her freedom for some expensive new frocks

"Just Say No"
Original airdate: 12/5/1994

Episode summary: Jane and Michael jet to Vegas to confront Chris, who admits that he gambled away most of the 500K he stole from their design business. Jo attempts to reclaim her baby from Kimberly, but is thwarted at every turn. Alison enters rehab to finally get a handle on her binge-drinking. 

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Recap: Michael asks Kimberly whaddup with there suddenly being a baby living in the beach house, and she stubbornly refuses to give him a straight answer 'bout that. He's about to press the issue further when Jane calls to inform him that Chris ran off with the design studio's 500K advance...and the police are refusing to do fuck all about it 'cause of her unwitting stupidity in giving Chris access to her business accounts and unfettered check-writing control. Michael rails at her for being "a pushover between the sheets" and snarks that he'll contact the police himself. He then hangs up the phone, tells Kimberly he's going to need to put a pin in the 'where did this baby come from?' conversation, and rushes out. As he climbs into his car and drives off, we see that Jo is parked across the street, slouched in the driver's seat. She storms over to the beach house, pounds on the door, and demands to have her baby back. Kimberly answers and reminds her that, unlike her healthy child, the baby she gave birth to was stillborn...and when Jo wails, "You don't have a baby!", Kimberly smugly retorts, "I do now." She then orders Jo to get the hell off her property, leaving an incredulous Jo shaking her head as she vows, "I am going to get him back no matter what I have to dooooooo."

Inside the black limo that's en route to Las Vegas, Sydney admonishes Chris for kidnapping her off the street, a felony he's choosing to interpret as more of "an act of destiny". When Sydney threatens to go straight to the cops the first chance she gets, he amusedly asks, "And ruin a beautiful relationship?" while handing her a large velvet box containing a diamond necklace. He dangles the trinket in front of her and purrs about how it's a perfect match for the earrings he bought her...and she visibly perks up at that delightful tidbit.

Alison arrives at D&D and runs into Bruce, who gleefully informs her that he just fired Amanda and she's in the process of cleaning out her office. As Alison stares back at him in mute shock, he says he'd really really like her to be part of the new and improved D&D team and invites her to attend a 3pm meeting during which he'll delve more into that.

Alison makes a beeline over to Amanda's office to express her pretend condolences about getting fired, and Amanda reacts by calling her a hypocrite for not having the guts to gloat directly to her face. Alison's like, "Er OK" and says she's positively elaaaaaaated that Bruce canned her, and that she's a manipulative power-driven maniac who also had a hand in ruining her relationship with Billy. Amanda refuses to take the blame for Alison's mess of a personal life and mocks her drunkenness - prompting Alison to sneer, "I am better on two double vodkas than you are at your best", to which Amanda derisively retorts, "Tell that to the next poor kid you run over" and storms out of the office with her box o' stuff. Ouch and ouch.

"You should be gloating a lot more about my abrupt firing."

"Can do."

Over in Las Vegas, Sydney is pacing the floor of the luxury Caesars Palace suite Chris booked for them where she's (sorta) being held hostage. Chris asks her what she'd like to do, and she tells him she wants to get the hell outa here immediately...so he assures her that she's free to walk out the door any time she wants, but doesn't think she will. Sydney derisively calls the situation "too weird" and insists that she doesn't like him even a little - but he argues that she does, and that she likes his money even more, wankingly adding that a hot woman such as herself belongs in a pricey hotel suite, not waitressing in a dump like Shooters. Sydney bewilderedly asks, "What about Jane?", and he scrunches his face into a blech expression and retorts, "She doesn't exactly raise my flag" - unlike her spicy redhead of a sister. He then suggests they go out for a sumptuous dinner and offers to buy her a designer dress at the swanky hotel boutique. As Sydney mulls that over, Chris holds the phone receiver and taunts her to use it to call the police - but in the end Sydney decides she's fine with being a captive as long as he's willing to take her clothes shopping.

In the next scene, Sydney is in the boutique's fitting room, trying on several dresses and remarking on how expensive they are - but Chris just coos to let him worry about that. She then steps out of the fitting room in a sleek black gown, and Chris gives her a creepishly appreciative once-over and tells her she should be dressing like this all the time. 

In the D&D conference room, Alison tells Bruce that he can count on her 24/7, then grumbles about how working under Amanda meant never getting credit for her work and/or brilliant ideas. Bruce assures her that without Amanda always seeking the glory for herself, she'll soon emerge as a star - just as he gets a call from his lawyer, who breaks the news that a consortium of doctors has purchased enough D&D shares to become the majority stockholders. The lawyer adds that there'll be a special board meeting tomorrow morning...and Bruce tells Alison he's hopeful that the doctors will realize that he's the best person to run D&D.  

Back in Vegas, Sydney has seemingly warmed to her captivity and is visibly having a blast in the casino, watching Chris repeatedly win big at the craps table. He hands her a big pile of chips and urges her to enjoy herself...and when she stares at the chips in stunned incredulity and points out that he just handed her the equivalent of 20K, he cockily says, "It's the tip of the iceberg." She then blows on the dice and cheers when he wins big for the umpteenth time.
 
Over in the Melrose Place courtyard, Jane runs into Michael, who tells her he strongly suspects that both she and Chris conspired to abscond with the 500K advance...and Jane says that's a dumb theory and snarlingly points out that her design business is on the verge of bankruptcy. A few seconds later, Jake appears to ask if either of them have heard from Sydney in the last day or so, prompting Michael to suddenly change course and suspect that Sydney's the one in cahoots with Chris. Jake says he doesn't know that for sure and points out that Sydney had tried to warn Jane about Chris's ickiness - but Michael insists that running off with a rich man is a typical Sydney move. 

In the Caesars Palace suite, Sydney is enjoying a relaxing massage as she snacks on strawberries and sips a drink with a little umbrella in it. Chris returns to the room and purrs about how he'd like to be the one giving her the massage - but she swiftly shuts him down and reminds him that sex is not part of their bargain, to which he says he'd really really like to renegotiate that [or just do it the easy way: force her in the sack again by threatening to beat Jake].

At the D&D board meeting, the representative of the doctors' consortium tells Bruce that the major shareholders have zero interest in running the company; however, they do want a direct hand in selecting the management team. Bruce touts himself and his team as the best option - just as Peter and Amanda enter the room. Peter reveals to Bruce that he's the one who put together the doctors' consortium and is officially appointing Amanda as the new D&D president, effective immediately. Bruce stares back at him incredulously and cries, "You can't doooooo this to me!" - but Peter argues that as a majority stockholder he has enough votes to do whatever the hell he wants. Bruce glares at Amanda and accuses her of sticking a knife in his back, and she responds by cooing about how he should just scuttle off home so he can continue recovering from his heart attack. After a despondent Bruce storms out of the room, Amanda declares that she's promoting Billy to VP of Accounts (say duh?), then stares amusedly at Alison as she says, "We'll deal with you later."

"Say hello to your new president."

"Does anyone, by chance, have any spare rope?"

Amanda congratulates Billy and gushes about how much he deserves this promotion...then instructs him to perform his first official task: fire Alison. Billy looks startled by the edict and says he doesn't think he can do it - but Amanda insists he can 'cause he has to, and that he has 24 hours to get it done.

Jo storms around the hospital, bitchily demanding that the CEO help her get her baby back. He responds by waving the faux death certificate of her stillborn child at her and reminds her that he's not among the living. Jo tries to explain that the death certificate was actually for someone else's baby...but doesn't know that person's name. The CEO glares at her skeptically and advises her to see a shrink, but Jo just scoffs at that suggestion and loudly insists that she doesn't have a screw loose...and proceeds to scream at everyone in her orbit as she flails her way towards the nearest exit.

Susan pours two glasses of wine and toasts Billy on his promotion - but Billy just stares glumly into space and says he kinda feels responsible for Alison's drinking problem. Susan reminds him that Alison chose to deal with the pain of her father's past abuse by diving into a bottle, and that the only way to truly help her is to convince her that she needs some serious rehabilitation. The two then press against each other and start smooching.

A drunk Alison returns home, stares up at Billy's apartment, and sees Billy and Susan smooching...and she reacts by storming upstairs and railing at the two in drunken incoherence. Susan offers to make her some coffee, while Billy makes it clear that she's not welcome in his place when she's like this and tries to steer her to the front door. Alison breaks free from his grasp and wanders over to the dining table, set for a delicious looking dinner, and starts eating food off one of the plates. A few seconds later, she violently pulls the tablecloth from under the plates, sending everything crashing to the floor. She gleefully says, "I always wanted to do that", then wishes them sweet dreams before staggering out. 
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The next morning, Amanda enters her D&D office and is horrified to - ack! - find Bruce's corpse hanging from the ceiling. She tiptoes towards his body and sees that he left a sarcastic suicide note for her: 
​
Dear Amanda,
Congratulations on your promotion...
Love, Bruce

Meow.

As the coroner wheels Bruce's body away, Amanda tells Billy and Alison she had no idea the guy was so fragile, to which Alison snarlingly retorts that she did, in fact, kill Bruce...and that his suicide is what happens when people get pushed too far. After she ambles out of earshot, Amanda snappishly reminds Billy that she wants Alison gone asap...and Billy lumbers over to Alison's cubicle to call her out for her destructive behavior last night. Alison stares back at him blankly and says she has no idea what he's talking about, so he deduces that her binge-drinking is resulting in complete blackouts. When he suggests that they talk more about this at lunch, she declines and says she has a doctor's appointment.

"How much do you remember about trashing our dining table last night?"

"Beyond a drunken haze..? Approximately zero."

Billy heads over to the hospital to get professional advice from Matt, who tells him that Alison desperately needs to enrol herself into an alcohol treatment program, like yesterday...adding that if she's proactively seeking treatment for her drinking problem, it's illegal for D&D to fire her. He then pauses for a second and tells Billy he has a radical suggestion.

Back in Vegas, Sydney is munching on chocolates when Chris returns to the suite, looking irked after losing most of Jane's 500K (!). Sydney looks appalled when she learns that the money they've been partying with was an advance check for Jane's design business...and when Chris demands that she give back the 40K worth of jewelry she's currently wearing, she flatly refuses. He responds by hitting her and snarling, "Don't make me hurt you", and she threatens to call hotel security before fleeing to the bathroom and locking herself inside.

Sydney calls Jake and tells him she's in Vegas under duress after being kidnapped by Chris, and that's she's genuinely worried he'll kill her. She gives him the name of the hotel and room number, and Jake promises to be there asap. Jake then phones Jane, fills her in about Sydney's/Chris's whereabouts, and the two agree to meet at the airport to catch the next flight. 

Alison returns home and finds the Melrose Place clan (along with a doctor from the nearby Twin Oaks rehab center), waiting for her in order to stage an intervention. Alison growls at everyone to go to hell and blames mostly Billy for her drinking problem...but then tears up when Billy warns that she could lose everything that's important to her. After further consideration, she agrees to enter rehab, and breaks into sobs while hugging Billy.

Sydney has just ordered room service when Jake arrives at Caesars Palace...and looks puzzled by her "captivity" in such a luxurious suite. Sydney hugs him hello, assures him she's been through utter hell, and fibs that she was finally able to order some food after Chris attempted to starve her into submission. A dubious Jake stares at the diamond necklace around her neck and remarks on how great she looks for someone who's been kidnapped, and continues to shake his head as Sydney tries to lean in for a comforting canoodle.

Michael and Jane track down Chris in the casino, and Jane haughtily declares that he's through playing with her money. Michael orders him to hand over the chips, and Chris does, limply explaining that he only has 5K of the 500K he stole. An enraged Michael reacts by lunging at him - but Chris easily knocks him to the floor and saunters off. 

"Give us our 500K back!"

"Unfortunately for you, I never got the memo that when it comes to gambling, the house always wins."

Matt, Billy, and Alison are en route to Twin Oaks when they stop at a gas station to refuel. Alison shiftily tells Billy she needs to use the restroom...and then pretends to enter the ladies room before racing off in search of the nearest watering hole. A few seconds later, a suspicious Billy wanders over to the restroom, sees that it's empty, and heads off to look for her. 

Alison is walking the streets alone when she stumbles upon a dive bar, stares at it longingly, then sits on a nearby bench and sobs. 

In Vegas, Jake books a flight home, while Sydney tries to convince Jane and Michael how traumatized she is about her captivity, and declares that she wants to fly back to L.A. immediately. Jane and Michael, on the other hand, decide they'd rather hang in Chris's luxury suite and enjoy partying in Vegas. 

Later, Jane and Michael bet the remainder of Chris's chips at the craps table and lose the entire 5K. Jane is somehow able to chuckle over her financial ruin and points out to Michael that he now owns 50% of nothing, then suggests they return to Chris's suite to raid the mini bar. While snacking and guzzling the tiny booze bottles, Jane bemoans losing both her fiancé and 500K (though mostly the 500K), while Michael admits that things are getting pretty fucked up with Kimberly - not least 'cause she's somehow obtained a mystery baby she expects him to help raise. Jane remarks that while he's undeniably a very shitty husband, he might make a good father...and after staring at each other hungrily for several seconds, she leans in for a smooch and cackles about wanting to know how it feels to be the other woman. Michael says he's definitely up for showing her, and the two start to go at it amorously.

That evening, Jo returns to the beach house and knocks on the door, and Kimberly warns her to go away 'cause she called the police. Jo rails about what a crazy bitch she is, then runs over to the back of the house and throws a chair through the patio door, shattering glass everywhere. She then picks up her baby and cradles him - just as the police burst in and a faux panicked Kimberly cries, "She's trying to steal my baby!" As Jo helplessly tries to explain that the baby is, in fact, hers, one of the police officers takes the tot from her and hands him to Kimberly. As they drag Jo out of the beach house, she cries, "Why are you doing this to meeeeeee?!" and Kimberly clucks sympathetically about how she's clearly suffering from post partum depression, and tells the officers she's not interested in pressing charges 'cause she really just wants them to escort Jo safely home. 

The next morning in Vegas, Jane thanks Michael for last night's impromptu roll in the hay as she gets dressed. When Michael coos at her to come back to bed, she declines and makes it clear that last night's romp was strictly a one time thing. Michael piteously says he's always loved her, and she responds by pinching his cheek and breezily saying, "Bye. You were great, babe" before sashaying out of the suite. LOL.

Back in L.A., Alison stumbles into Twin Oaks and tells the receptionist she's finally convinced she needs help with getting her binge drinking addiction under control and wants to sign up for a stint in rehab.

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