Recap: Billy pours the last of the orange juice for Alison and suggests they take a break from their respective jobs at lunchtime and meet up for a romantic picnic in the park. Alison says she's definitely up for that - just as Jake bursts in [without bothering to knock] to ask if he can help himself to some breakfast. He explains that he hasn't yet gotten the hang of living on his own again and didn't think to do any grocery shopping. Alison asks him if he misses Jo, and he firmly says no...and when Billy tries to offer him relationship advice, he makes it clear he's not open to it.
Jo arrives at D&D to tell Amanda that since things are so tense and awkward with Jake, she no longer wants to work on the Sage Brush Beer campaign. Amanda tells Jo that while she sympathizes with whatever post-breakup emotional turmoil she's currently enduring, she expects her to be an adult with respect to her professional obligations and honor the contract she signed with D&D...then makes it clear that she can't/won't release her from said contract.
Michael is grumbling while signing the alimony agreement that entitles Jane to half of his net earnings for the next two years. Haha! When he chides Jane for being a greedy gold digger, she reminds him that he was the one who betrayed her and should be lucky she's not going after his earnings for more than two years. He vows to make her earn every penny (not sure what that means, exactly), then storms out...and Jane's lawyer Robert assures her that she did the right thing, then encourages her to keep in touch, even if it's not about divorce-related matters. Mmm hmm.. Jane thanks him for doing such a great job representing her, kisses his cheek, and sashays out of the room as he stares after her longingly.
Over at the hospital, Matt runs into a glum Katya and asks her whassup. She tells him the hospital had to let her go 'cause she's on the tail end of her third visa extension, which means she'll have to return to Russia very soon. She says she knew this was coming, but was hoping for a miracle [in the form of a green card marriage to a certain gay man].
During the lunch picnic, Alison tells Billy that she very much wants to nudge Jake and Jo in the direction of reconciling and moving back in together, while Billy contorts his face into a meh expression and says he's way more interested in letting those two figure things out on their own.
That evening, Jake is out dining with Alison and Billy when - surprise! - Jo arrives for the double date. Jo and Jake look at each other and are all, "The hell?" when they realize that the dinner was a setup to get them in the same room together. Alison points out that the four of them are still friends and should therefore be able to share a meal together, so Jo and Jake attempt smalltalk...which quickly degenerates into a bickerfest about her intimacy issues and his pride problems. Eventually the two decide they can't bear to be in each other's presence, and Jo storms off while an irritated Jake tells Alison and Billy to give it a rest with their re-matchmaking.
Jane tearfully tells Sydney her marriage is absolutely, finally, truly over. Sydney tries to cheer her up by inviting her along to the movies, but Jane says she'd rather stay in and assures her she'll be fine, and Sydney's like, "Kewl!" and scampers off decked out in a crop top and form fitting pants. Jane turns on the TV but can't get into it, then takes off her wedding ring and and starts to sob.
Matt and Katya are watching Nikki play at the local playground. Katya marvels at the enthusiasm Nikki exhibits about absolutely everything, then sadly says there's not much a future in store for her in Russia. A few seconds later, she brightens again and invites Matt to join her and Nikki for a hot dog dinner, and he happily accepts.
Photo shoot! Jo is barking orders at Jake about how she needs him to pose while sitting on his motorcycle...and Amanda gets into the fray and says she has an idea of how to make Jake look hotter, then rips open his shirt. LOL. Jake gets fed up and retreats to his trailer...and when Amanda rushes after him to see whassup, he snarlingly reminds her that he's not a piece of meat [despite being cast as the show's primary source of eye candy]. She argues that since he signed up to model, he kinda is a piece of meat for the purposes of this photo shoot - but then promises to speak to Jo about dialling down her bitchitude.
Michael is whining to Matt about Jane getting custody of half of his earnings and all of their Melrose Place friends, so Matt points out that he could always get together with the gang outside the complex. Michael perks up at that idea and excitedly tells Kimberly, who happens to wander by at that moment, that he wants to throw a party at their beach house this weekend. Kimberly makes a blech face, but reluctantly agrees...and Michael urges Matt to invite the entire cast (sans Jane).
Alison tells Billy she has zero desire to go to Michael's beach house bash and is annoyed that Billy seems interested in attending. When Billy points out that it is possible for a couple to have their own individual friends, Alison accuses him of being too cavalier about Michael's adultery...then says she'll be very interested, in a judgey type way, to see who from the complex attends the party and who doesn't.
After the hot dog dinner, Katya complains to Matt about the shittiness of Russia, aka Land of No Hope, and that she fears never getting the chance to leave her homeland again if she goes back. Matt clucks sympathetically and says he half-heartedly wishes there was something he could do 'bout that, and she's like, "Actually, you can" and produces a wad of cash and says he can have it in return for the favor of marrying her. Matt stares back at her in horror and firmly says he won't take her money and/or marry her.
Amanda drops by Jake's apartment to show him how beautifully the photos from the shoot turned out, and to wank him about what a natural he is in front of the camera. When Jake grumbles about not being interested in modelling for a living, she points out that he should think of it as his day job and use it to finance what he really wants to do. He mulls that over, then asks her if she's going to Michael's party...and when she says she is, he suggests they go together.
Alison and Billy return to the complex after a jog...and Alison is still irked at Billy for wanting to attend Michael's party. He points out that he's allowed to have his own opinion - plus all the other Melrose Place guys are going. Alison huffily says she's making her own plans tonight, then heads over to Jane's apartment to suggest a ladies night out. Jane likes the idea and invites Sydney along, but Sydney fibs that she's starting a new job at a restaurant and can't make it.
Michael returns to the beach house with bags of junk food for the party - just as Sydney arrives to help with the preparations. Kimberly isn't thrilled to see her, and looks even less thrilled when she realizes that both she and Sydney made guacamole.
Later, the party is in full swing with a mixture of Melrose Place folk and hospital staff. As Michael giddily circulates among the guests, Billy and Jake remark on how Alison and Jo were both no-shows...and a few seconds later, Amanda sashays over to saucily invite Billy to dance.
Michael asks Matt why he's being so mopey at his party, so Matt tells him that Katya offered him money for a green card marriage. Michael chuckles and says it sounds like the perfect kind of marriage, then jests that maybe this means that someone will actually get some use out of his last name. Matt glares at him for the homophobic crack and snarls, "Have a great party, Michael" before angrily stalking off.
Amanda asks Billy where Alison is tonight...and when he tells her that Alison's off doing stuff on her own, she chuckles about how unwise it is for a woman to let her hot boyfriend attend a beach party alone. A few seconds later, Jake cuts in and says he doesn't approve of any woman he's interested in carrying a torch for another guy, and Amanda assures him that she generally makes it a habit of leaving a party with the guy she came with.
Alison, Jo, and Jane spend their ladies night out at Shooters complaining about the Melrose Place menfolk, and when Jane can take it no longer, she makes a beeline over to the pay phone and calls Robert to see if he's up for a booty call.
Robert tells Jane he was pleasantly surprised that she called, then offers her a glass of wine. She responds by staring at him hungrily before urgently unbuttoning his shirt...and soon the two are naked and rolling around on the living room carpet.
Alison returns home and is surprised to see Billy in the kitchen. He tells her he left Michael's party early 'cause he missed her, then hands her a bouquet of flowers. She squeals about how much she looooves it, then acknowledges that he was right when he was pontificating earlier about how couples don't need to agree on everything.
Jake escorts Amanda to her front door, presumes that he's invited inside, and heads straight for her fridge and grabs two beers. Amanda says it's getting late - but he ignores that overt hint to leave and wanders over to the air conditioner and asks her if she's planning to install window units in all of the Melrose Place apartments. She says, "Eventually" and makes it clear she's ready to end the evening - but he continues to ignore her hint-dropping and flirtily says he's definitely interested in her. Amanda says he must have misread the situation and would like it if he left now...and when he responds by smooching her, she smacks him across the face and finally orders him to get the hell out. After she closes the door in his face - LOL - she ambles over to the air conditioner and lets the cool air blow across her lithe body.
Michael apologizes to Kimberly for partying so hard...and the two start smooching - until they hear moaning sounds coming from the bedroom. They quickly investigate and find a drunken Sydney sprawled atop the bed, giggling about the spinning room. Michael tells a dismayed Kimberly that they have no choice but to let Sydney spend the night, and Kimberly concurs, but orders Michael to remove her from the bed so she doesn't throw up all over her sheets.
Jane and Robert are nakedly canoodling in front of his fireplace, enjoying some post-coital afterglow. She natters about not knowing how she feels at this very moment, other than how desperate she was getting to be desired. Robert says that having a one night stand doesn't heal wounds, but that she doesn't need to apologize for using him for sex 'cause he really digs her, was utterly delighted with the doink, and enjoys her company.
Matt joins Katya and Nikki at their regular Sunday park outing, where Nikki likes to ride the carousel. Katya tells Matt they're scheduled to return to Russia within a week, and Matt stares back at her sadly and murmurs, "I'm sorry.."
Kimberly reminds Michael that she has rounds at the hospital this morning, then tells him to check on Sydney to make sure the tart is still breathing. He walks in on his former sister-in-law while she's getting out of the shower, and she happily bares her naughties as she sassily asks him to get her a towel...and he hands her one while staring lustily at her naked bod as if he's never seen an unclothed woman before.
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