Melrose Place - Season 2, Episode 15

Do svidaniya, Nikkita

"Under the Mistletoe"
Original airdate: 12/22/1993

Episode summary: Billy and Alison reconcile on Christmas Eve, much to Amanda's dismay. Michael manipulates Jane into cutting short her holiday celebration with Robert. Nikki departs the U.S. to live with her mother in Russia.

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Recap: After a night of lusty passion, Billy wakes up in Amanda's bed with a 'what the fuck have I done?' expression on his dumb face. He springs out of the bed and is hurriedly gathering his clothes when Amanda appears in the doorway looking pleased and satiated with last night's liaison. She tells him it's fairly unsurprising that they'd end up in the sack together, given their recent splits with their now former significant others...then coos about how awesomely he nailed her last night. A few seconds later, Alison drops by to ask Amanda if she can have the day off to go Christmas shopping, and Amanda invites her in to chat about it, causing a panicked (and pants-less) Billy to quietly beat a hasty retreat. He flees to Jake's apartment and manages to get fully dressed by the time Jake emerges from his bedroom, grumbling about how the shit hit the fan last night when he told Amanda about partnering with the FBI to help arrest her shady pa.

Alison stops by Jake's apartment looking for Billy...and when Jake fibs and says he's not home, she tells him to please pass along a message to Billy to come to D&D's Christmas party after 5pm. After she leaves, Billy steps back into the living room and says he heard the message first hand, and Jake advises him to give Alison a chance to explain and/or come clean about her recent trip to Steve's ranch.

Matt promises Nikki that he's going to brighten her spirits by getting her a Christmas tree and throwing a Christmas Eve party. She tells him she likes the sound of that, but would also really like to experience snow...and Matt's like, "Since we live in L.A., the best I can do is rent the movie White Christmas", and Nikki seems satisfied enough with that. 
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Alison and Jo are ambling around the city as they go Christmas shopping...and I guess this means Jo's suddenly no longer mad at Alison for flirting with Steve. Alison laments Billy's cold treatment of her and says there's no reason for it, given that she and Steve never even got any kind of real relationship off the ground. Jo's like, "Yeah, whatever" and suggests that they temporarily put their cares away and mope their way through Christmas together.

Michael self-piteously complains to Jane that he's unable to decorate her Christmas tree 'cause it's too high for him to reach now that he's confined to a wheelchair...then grumbles about Jane being in love with Robert, aka not "half a man" such as himself, and then dejectedly wheels out of the room. 

Billy arrives at the D&D Christmas party and is greeted by a giddy Amanda, who assumes that he's in attendance to see her. She rushes off to get him some eggnog when Alison arrives at the party and pulls Billy aside so that they can speak privately. She insists that there was no penetrating hanky panky between her and Steve at the ranch, and that - for whatever God-only-knows-why reason - she prefers being with a bonehead like him over an attractive, affable, fabulously wealthy CEO who owns a lovely ranch. Billy poutishly replies that he's very upset she even considered sleeping with Steve, firmly tells her that his answer to a reconciliation is no, and huffs off like the bitchy little sucky-man he is. Amanda ambles over and asks Alison what that exchange was all about, and Alison mumbles about how it's just another "Christmas wish up in smoke" ... and Amanda grins happily at her obvious distress.

"I've weighed the pros and cons of dumping you for Steve, but in the end decided to continue going down the bonehead route."

"No dice. Even us boneheads have our pride."

Jane introduces Michael to the private nurse she just hired to tend to him while she goes off and celebrates Christmas with Robert and his friends and family...and Michael looks less than thrilled by heavyset, no-nonsense Nurse Colleen. Jane leaves Nurse Colleen the number where she can be reached in case of emergency, wishes Michael a Merry Christmas, and heads out. Michael immediately tries to fire Nurse Colleen, but she wryly tells him that Jane warned he'd try that and is to ignore him, then declares it bath time and forcibly wheels him down the hall as he desperately cries out for help. 

Amanda runs into Jake as he's loafing on the stairwell leading to her apartment and snarkishly reminds him that she's looking for any kind of legal avenue with which she can evict him from the premises. Jake tries to explain that he didn't have a choice about helping the FBI, but Amanda insists, "There are always choices" and says he could have come to her and/or warned her pa [despite neither of those being feasible options that don't risk his own arrest]. Jake asks her if she really truly seriously believes that her shitty father is innocent of the fraud charges, and she says she does...and that she regrets not listening to her pa when he warned her to avoid hooking up with a gold digging grease monkey.

Sydney is working at Shooters when she runs into Kristian Alfonso, who hands her a vial of coke (I'll assume) so that she can snort her way through the holidays, along with a piece of paper that has the name and details of her next john assignment. She advises Sydney to dump this waitressing job now that she's her number one ho [that was one fast rise up the ho chain!], but Sydney points out that the waitressing job is her cover with Jane and the rest of the Melrose Place gang in case they ever spend any time wondering how she's making a living.   

Nikki gets a Christmas package from Katya in the mail, as well as a letter moaning about how much she misses her. Matt gives the tot a fatherly cuddle and assures her they're going to have a great Christmas together, and a grateful Nikki tells him he's her best friend.

Jake and Billy are going Christmas tree shopping in the very same lot that Jo and Alison are going Christmas tree shopping. Each twosome then spots their dream tree - what a coincidence, it's the same tree! - and begin tugging at it from opposite sides before agreeing to stop fighting over this modest sized tree and buy one gigantic tree for the Melrose Place courtyard.

Sydney is in a hotel room with her john, a depressed older man who at first resists Sydney's hooker action and sadly tells her he had nothing better to do on Christmas Eve than to hire a lady of the evening. He encourages Sydney to break the ice by telling him about herself, so she tells him she hasn't been hooking long, fibs about being in college studying fashion design, and declares that one day she's going to be a very very important person of some sort. The john appears to get aroused by the bio and starts stroking Sydney's hair and kissing her...while a despondent Sydney stares tearfully into space.

"I'm reconsidering doinking a hooker on Christmas Eve."

"And I'm having second thoughts about being a hooker, considering it's Christmas Eve."

Michael bitches at Nurse Colleen, who admonishes him for lashing out and acting as though he's the only person to have ever faced a potential disability. Michael admits he's pretty freaked out by the prospect of never walking again or not being able to practice medicine...and when they both hear the commotion of Jake, Jo, Alison, and Billy returning to the courtyard with their monster Christmas tree, Michael sadly says they're no longer his friends after burning so many bridges in the aftermath of his/Jane's messy split. 

Billy curtly tells Alison he's flying out tomorrow morning so that he can spend Christmas with his family, and she wishes him a safe trip and Happy Holidays before staring sadly into the distance. 

Sydney stops in at a church to sit in the confessional and admit that she's been lying to her family and the Melrose Place gang about how she's been earning money for the past three episodes. She admits to being a prostitute and using drugs, then starts crying and wailing about how deeply ashamed of her slutty/druggy self she is. 

Billy is at the airport, sprinting from one gate to another in order to find a non-overbooked flight so that he can fly home and visit his family.

A now cheerier Michael asks Nurse Colleen if she wouldn't mind driving him over to Robert's condo, but she declines before pointing out that he wasn't actually invited to Robert's Christmas party and for some reason cares about what an arse he'd make of himself if he were to show up unannounced. Michael stubbornly insists on seeing Jane this evening - the arse he's sure to make of himself be damned! - then picks up the phone and calls a cab.  

Over at Casa Wilson, Robert is toasting Jane for coming into his life...and after that heartwarming moment, Jane ambles over to the terrace and happens to spot Michael exiting a cab and wheeling himself towards Robert's condo building. She rushes downstairs and asks Michael whassup with him showing up at her boyfriend's Christmas party uninvited, so he assures her he's not here to make a scene, but rather apologize for being a jerk about her and Robert dating. A few seconds later, an infuriated Robert emerges from the building, angrily tells Michael he's not welcome at his party, and barks at Jane to come back inside with him. Michael responds by begging for forgiveness from both of them for being "a complete bastard", then tearfully lamenting what a huge burden he now is on everyone around him. Robert rolls his eyes, brusquely accepts Michael's apology, then turns to head back inside...but when Michael wheels away, doing his best to look like the world's saddest sad sack, Jane tells Robert she can't just leave her crippled ex aimlessly rolling along the streets of L.A. by himself. She tells Robert she's going to drive Michael home and will call him later, but he growls, "Don't bother" and storms off.

"Please accept my apology for all of my douchebaggery."

"We remain divided over our level of skepticism."

As the Melrose Place Christmas party gets into full swing, Amanda saunters over to where Jake's barbecuing to say hey, but that she's really only being polite to him for Nikki's sake. Billy makes a surprise appearance "disguised" as Santa...and Nikki's all, "Hi Billy!" and proceeds to hand out the gifts from his sack. Alison happily tells Billy that him staying in town for the holiday is the best Christmas present ever - just as Jane spots a mopier-than-usual Sydney entering the courtyard and invites her to join the festivities. Sydney wearily says she's all partied out, tearfully wishes her sister a Merry Christmas, and gives her a holiday hug. 

Matt gets a call from Katya, then wanders around the Melrose Place courtyard, his face contorted into a grim expression. He pulls Nikki aside and tells her that the producers want to dump the tedious Russian Green Card Bride storyline asap, which means her mom is now staying in Moscow forever, and that she booked her on the soonest available flight. Nikki says she's excited to see her mommy again, even if it means having to grow up in Russia, and leans in for a hug while Matt pretends to stare miserably into space.

Alison wakes up on Christmas morning and catches Billy in the act of stuffing her Christmas stocking with goodies. Alison sheepishly says she didn't get him anything this year, and that she can't blame him for being angry at her - but Billy tells her that he's been stupidly overlooking the most important detail of her reconciliation attempt: she chose him over Steve. Alison beams and says she's soooooo happy he gets that, then saucily tells him she's always wanted to kiss Santa Claus and plants his lips with a big smooch.

Jane and Michael are exchanging Christmas gifts when Robert drops by to apologize to Jane for being such a grumpy-pants last night, and to give her her Christmas gift: a beautiful diamond necklace. Jane is overwhelmed by its sparkly beauty and gives him a thank you kiss as a dejected looking Michael sneakily peers at them through the window.
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Kristian Alfonso drops by Sydney's apartment to wish her a Merry Christmas and present her with a ginormous goody basket. Sydney responds by glumly handing her the cash from last night's sexcapade, then says to consider it her official resignation from hooking. Kristian Alfonso assures her she totally understands her decision...and that while it's a shame to lose her number one ho, she's sure her prostitution ring will survive. She then generously lets Sydney keep all the cash, and says she can always call if she ever changes her mind about wanting to sell her body for sex. That conversation went a whole lot better than I would have expected, considering the violently short fuse Kristian Alfonso demonstrated after Sydney bailed on the S&M john.

"I've decided I'm not your ho no 'mo."

"I shall take that news surprisingly well."

Matt is at the airport with Nikki, bidding her a final farewell before she boards her flight to Russia. The two hug goodbye, make half-hearted promises to keep in touch and visit from time to time, and part ways when Nikki is ushered by the flight attendant towards the boarding gate. She then suddenly does the TV tropey thing all sad kids departing from airports do and runs back to Matt and leaps into his arms to bid him a final final tearful farewell. She promises to never forget him, then runs back to the flight attendant to board her flight and never be seen on Melrose Place again. Godspeed, Nikki!

Alison and Billy are kissing under a mistletoe in the Melrose Place courtyard when Amanda emerges from her apartment and looks less than thrilled by the canoodly spectacle. 

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