Recap: Dawson finishes watching a sad movie with Shaggy D.A. ... and as she sniffles and blows her nose, he tells her he’s very concerned about how sad she always is lately. Shaggy D.A. says she's sniffling 'cause of the movie's sad ending and that she’s far more concerned about the fact that he hasn’t adequately wallowed over his breakup with Joey. Dawson shrugs and says it doesn’t help to wallow - but Shaggy D.A. insists that it’s important to fully grieve getting dumped. She then heads off to bed, leaving Dawson staring longingly at the open window where Joey used to climb in instead of just entering through the front door like a normal person.
Mr. Peterson, Capeside High’s English teacher who makes no effort to hide the utter contempt he has for his students, tells the class (while coughing incessantly) that tomorrow’s midterm exam will be worth 50% of their grade, and warns that it’s going to cover everything they’ve studied this term. After class is dismissed, Joey tries to talk to Dawson...and when he bitchily tells her to go away ‘cause he’s giving her the space she said she wanted, she says she didn’t realize this meant he’d pout like a sulky girl-child and refuse to talk to her at all.
During lunch in the cafeteria, Andie shows Pacey the self-administered purity test that’s in a magazine she’s currently reading and that she'd like him to take the test so she can have a general idea of how much sexual expertise he has. Pacey declines, then gives her the strong impression that his purity could give driven snow a run for its money.
Chris Wolfe flirts with Jen by the outdoor track during gym class. He asks her why she’s not more receptive to his wily charms, and Jen says it’s prolly ‘cause he flirts with every girl in his orbit. When he gives up trying to charm her (for now) and saunters off, Dawson wanders over and warns Jen that Chris is a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy, then mentions that a bunch of kids are meeting with Mr. Peterson for a study session in order to prepare for the English midterm. Jen mulls that over and promises to consider tagging along.
Mr. Peterson leaves a note pinned to his classroom door saying he’s too sick to make it to the study session, but that the midterm exam is still on for tomorrow. Chris suggests to Jen they organize their own study group at his house and adds that his parents are away. Jen points out how unlikely it is that they’d get much studying done there, and he’s like, “No duh, but it’ll be fun hanging out in my rich parents’ house” and tells her to invite the rest of her castmates. When Pacey hears about Chris’s invitation, he cackles gleefully to Andie about how awesome it’ll be to hang out in a rich person’s house, and Andie decides that this sounds like a reasonable study plan and says she too is in.
Andie runs into Joey and invites her along to the study session, and Joey chuckles about the notion that a slacker like Chris Wolfe could possibly provide them with a suitable study environment - but Andie assures her that she plans on taking control of the operation and enforce a strict study regimen. While that’s happening, Pacey invites Dawson to attend the study session...and as they pile into Chris’s SUV, Dawson’s all, “Ack!” when he sees that Joey is in the back seat with Andie.
Chris drives everyone to his parents’ luxury estate, ushers them inside the house, and assures everyone that his young, bespectacled sister Dina is going to stay out of their way and definitely not embarrass herself by openly crushing on Dawson. As Joey expresses serious doubt about how much studying they’re actually going to get done, Andie instructs Chris to direct them to a room with a large enough table to accommodate all of them, and which has proper lighting and comfortable chairs. When she notices that Pacey is MIA, she finds him in a nearby room watching satellite TV and marveling about the 200+ channels that are every couch potato’s dream. Andie chides him for undermining her efforts as the group's self-appointed study captain and asks for his help rounding everyone up and getting them to start hitting the books.
As everyone settles into the large dining room, Andie outlines the night-long study plan, adding that if all goes well they should be able to cover the entire course load by midnight. The group responds by immediately suspending anything resembling studying to order a pizza...and Chris selects a bottle of wine from his parents’ wine cabinet while telling Jen he’s very bothered that she always seems to assume the worst of him. When Jen reminds him of his infamously slutty reputation, he deflects by telling her they’re a lot alike and that she should take the time to get to know him. Jen mulls that over for a few seconds, goes, “Deal”, and the two shake on it.
After a lightning round of literature trivia led by Andie, during which Joey is studiously earnest and Dawson continues to sulk, Chris announces that it’s time for another break, and the gang agrees that they all want to take the purity test Andie had shown Pacey earlier. After everyone answers 100 questions (which seems ridiculously lengthy for a magazine sex survey), they each tally their score. As Joey openly contemplates the question ‘have you ever been in love?’, she bolts from the room when Dawson stares over at her wistfully. When he rushes out after her, she reminds him that she asked for space and time and would appreciate it if he could refrain from staring at her wistfully all the time and following her from room to room. A few seconds later, Dina appears out of nowhere and orders Dawson to fill her in on the details of his relationship with Joey, but he’s like, “No. Go away.”
When all the purity test results have been tallied, Andie emerges as the purest while Chris Wolfe is the least pure. When Pacey is called out for not submitting his test results, Chris smirkingly asks him how he answered question #16: ‘have you ever boned anyone twice your age?’ Chris cackles about how Pacey “laid the pipe” with Tamara, and a stunned Andie’s all, “Wha-a-at?!” and tells Pacey she’s miffed at him for misleading her earlier by referring to himself as “embarrassingly pure”. She flees the room, and Pacey rushes out after her.
Dawson finds Chris preparing the pool house for a romantic tête-à-tête with Jen, and is pretty open about his intention to get her in the sack. Dawson tells him that Jen is kinda vulnerable at the moment and asks him to maybe not exploit that for the sake of his penile pleasuring, but Chris shrugs unconcernedly and says he’s not going to do anything that Jen won’t want to do...and smarmily adds that if he notices that his bedroom light has been turned off, it’s a clear sign that he and Jen are bumping uglies.
As Joey studies while curled up in a sofa chair, Jen rifles through a pile of bikinis (the Wolfe family makes available to guests who didn’t bring a swimsuit) in order to go hot tubbing with Chris. She tells Joey she’s sorry about her breakup with Dawson...and when Joey snappishly replies that she doesn’t believe she's being sincere, Jen says it’s become clear to her that the reason they aren’t friends is less because of their competition for Dawson’s affections [incredulous as that is to comprehend] than it is because of what a total bitch she is. Joey contritely dials back her bitchitude and apologizes for being so harsh, then grumbles about how tired she is of always having to talk about her feelings with the mind-numbingly over-engineered dialogue the Dawson's Creek writers loved to pack into every script.
Andie is moping on a swing in the backyard when Pacey ambles over. She asks him why he never told her about nailing Tamara and, more importantly, how he could possibly do something so gross. He mumbles about how it wasn’t an easy thing to confess to someone as straight-laced as her...but that, at the end of the day, it was just sex. A thoroughly icked-out Andie says she really doesn’t want to hear anymore about it, and Pacey reminds her that as humans they’re all sexual creatures, and that his and Tamara’s Season 1 pedo-on-boy sexcapades really shouldn’t change the way she feels about him.
When Chris announces to Jen that he’s ready for some sexy time in the hot tub, Dawson pulls Jen aside and tells her he’s worried that Chris doesn’t have the best of intentions, and that he has it on good authority that his main goal is to go to bed with her. Jen’s like, “No duh, I kind of assumed that” ... then gives him a conspiratorial grin and says that just ‘cause the guy has a master plan doesn’t mean she’s obliged to go along with it. Even though she ends up doing exactly that. As she scampers off to the hot tub, Dina holds up Joey’s purity test result and tells Dawson that, according to Joey, she’s been in love twice. Dawson’s all, “Wuh??” and demands to see the test for himself, but Dina refuses until he gives her a kiss. He responds by staring back at her with perplexed horror.
Over in the hot tub, Chris tells Jen he just wants to have fun, then pretends he's totes OK with her not wanting to mess around. She coquettishly asks him what his idea of fun is, and he answers by giving her a big smooch. She grins and assures him that they’re on the same page, and then he leans in for a series of intense looking smooches.
While Joey tries to study, Dawson stares at her longingly and sadly moans about how he thought what they had together was special. He then asks her if it’s really true that she’s been in love twice, cites Dina’s revealing of her purity test result, and asks at what point in her life she had time to obsessively moon over a guy who wasn’t him. Joey declines to answer and says that for now she’d like for them to just be friends, and Dawson pissily says he doesn’t want her platonic friendship. When Joey storms off, Dina appears, claps her hands, and calls the interaction she just eavesdropped on very emotional. Dawson grumbles, “Go away”, then starts railing at her about how a boy-on-girl kiss comes with a lot of emotion and that she shouldn’t want to rush it. Dina reacts by bursting into tears and running off...and Joey, who’s still within earshot, shoots him a ‘the fuck?’ glare. After absorbing that stink-eye, he suddenly notices that Chris and Jen have departed the hot tub and that Chris’s bedroom light is off. He reacts by burying his face in his hands.
Joey tiptoes into Dina’s bedroom and explains that Dawson was mean to her just now ‘cause generally all boys are mean. Dina declares that she wants to avoid growing up, and Joey agrees that that sounds like a great plan, ‘cause growing up sucks the more it becomes clear that boys don’t live up to even the basest of expectations. She then back pedals and assures the imp that sometimes love and romance fall together perfectly and create moments that make the pain of growing up totally worth it.
Dawson sits alone on the porch and does his best to juggle studying while continuing to silently mope about Joey giving him the dumperoo.
The next morning, Dawson wakes up at 6am, mutters, “Oh shit..” and rushes around to find the others. When Andie wakes up and checks the time, she panics and is all, “Ack! We only have four hours before the midterm!”
Jen wakes up in Chris’s bed, and he coldly thanks her for last night’s orgasmic romp, says he’ll meet her downstairs, and beats a hasty retreat. Classy, Chris.
Things get serious [and seriously out of whack] when Pacey takes it upon himself to lead the study group for an intense cram session, which entails the group shooting literature-related questions at one another. Hours later, Pacey declares the session over, and to celebrate they all race outside and leap into the Wolfe’s swimming pool while fully clothed...and I wonder if this is the wisest thing to be doing when time is of the essence, and none of them (save for Chris) has a change of dry clothes on hand.
Andie tells Pacey that she’s delighted with him for taking control of the study session, then explains that she was shocked, appalled, and thoroughly icked out to learn of his boning of Tamara...which is awkward, since she, on the other hand, is so inexperienced. Pacey assures her that one day (soon?) she’ll acquire a sexual history, and the two concur that they each love to hate the other, then indulge in a smooch.
Dawson tells Joey he wishes he could take back their first kiss ‘cause maybe they’d still be best friends...but then he thinks about all the wonderful things that the kiss has brought into his life and realizes that the pain of losing her was probably worth it. Joey explains that when she took the purity test, the “two” people she’s been in love with were him ‘cause she fell in love with him twice, each time with a different version of him. [That's some pretty strange logic, but OK.] She then assures him that she’s unsure of herself not him...and he promises to give her her space without being a snide little bitch like he’s been acting like all episode.
Dawson finds Dina sleeping on the couch and grants her wish by leaning down and kissing her forehead. After he exits the room, Dina opens her eyes and grins happily.
Everyone piles into Chris’s SUV and heads off to school...but when they get there, Mr. Peterson has left them another note, telling them he called in sick for a second day and that the midterm exam is on for tomorrow. As everyone groans in exhausted relief, Pacey suggests an activity he’s pretty sure everyone can get on board with: taking a group nap on the football field.
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4/12/2022 07:01:09 pm
I watched this ep SO MANY times when I was in middle-school. I had it on a VHS. I was obsessed with Andie's hairclip and wanted one exactly the same haha
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