Recap: Dawson and Joey are sitting on the roof just outside his bedroom window and are staring up at the full moon. Joey remarks on all the weird shit that's going to happen throughout this episode purely 'cause of the full moon, and Dawson chides her for being superstitious and then pretends to slip and nearly tumble towards the roof's edge. Joey responds by shooting him the stink-eye and muttering, "Very funny."
Downtown the next morning, Tamara [ack! I thought she left town at the end of the previous episode] tells Mitch she really really hopes he buys her warehouse 'cause she's extremely desperate to get out of Capeside. Mitch promises to make a decision soon.
Elsewhere downtown, Jen runs into Vincent, who asks where her "evil other half" is, so she quips that she and Abby are trying a trial separation. Vincent tells her he's been out at sea with a group of gross men for the last two and a half weeks and would really really like someone cute to show him around Capeside and be able to carry on a conversation without grunting, farting, or dropping expletives. Jen agrees that it's her civic duty to provide him with a tour of Capeside, then gives him her address and tells him he can pick her up at 7:30pm.
Andie enters the video rental place where Pacey works and catches him watching Jacuzzi Floozies on the TV behind the desk. He proposes to Andie that, since they like to spar with each other so much, they should go out on a date sometime...and Andie tries to look as casual as possible by the invitation and mutters, "Yeah OK." He suggests they go to a movie so they can cut down on the sparring and offers to pick her up at her house - but she starts twitching and says she'd prefer it if they met downtown.
Jen is shopping for makeup when Abby enters the store and asks her if she's still mad at her, and Jen's like, "Well d'yuh" and reminds her she called her a desperate loser. Abby, who starts brazenly shoplifting and somehow isn't caught or even called out on it, assures Jen she's A-OK with Vincent liking her...but when Jen says that that's good 'cause she and Vincent have plans to go out tonight, Abby snarls, "You bitch!" and accuses her of stealing her man. Jen points out that Vincent barely knows she exists and exits the store, and Abby chases after her and bitchily declares that Vincent is only interested in her 'cause he knows an easy lay when he sees one. Jen responds by slapping her hard across the face and screeching, "Don't ever talk to me again!"
As Joey and Dawson study in the Casa Leery kitchen, Shaggy D.A. tells Mitch she's having a visiting reporter over for dinner tonight. Mitch is all, "The fuck? That sounds like a Thursday thing, and it's Saturday!" and says he's monumentally pissed off by the prospect of her entertaining a male co-worker, then invokes the Season 1 cuckolding and snaps, "I wonder why!" Shaggy D.A. shoots back, "At least I have co-workers" and makes clear that she's insulting his unemployed bum status...and Joey decides it's time for her to flee this awkwardness and go home now. In the foyer, Dawson whimpers to her about how skeered he is about the escalation of his parents' fighting, but she breezily chalks it up to the full moon. After she leaves, Dawson tries to talk to his dad about all the tension, but Mitch snaps, "Not now!" and storms up the stairs.
Abby drops by Jen's house as Jen is primping for her date with Vincent. She admonishes Jen for smacking her across the face, but Jen insists she had it coming when she called her a slut. Abby concedes that, yeah, she's a mean-spirited name-caller - but points out that she hasn't yet resorted to face-smacking. Jen calls her warped and snarls at her to go home 'cause Vincent is coming by any moment to pick her up.
Tamara arrives at Casa Leery to implore Mitch to pleeeeeease buy her damn warehouse already, and Shaggy D.A.'s all, "Don't I know you from when you were accused of nailing Pacey in Season 1?" and shoots her a sanctimoniously judgmental stink-eye as if she herself is a total saint when it comes to hurtful sexcapades.
Joey and Jack are working a shift at the Ice House, trying to pass the time on a very slow night. Joey grumbles about how much she haaaaates waitressing and dealing with all the dumbfuck customers that constantly irritate the shit out of her, and Jack says he can't help remarking on how angry she always seems every minute of the day. Joey looks startled by the criticism, then quietly mulls over her chronic anger issues as Jack wanders off into the back room.
Jen and Vincent are sitting on her porch, enjoying some freshly brewed coffee. Vincent says it's nice being off the boat for awhile, and adds that he's only working as a seaman 'cause he's trying to save up for law school. Jen perks up at his future earning potential as a lawyer, and the two stare at each other all smitten-like while the camera pans back over to Casa Leery.
Shaggy D.A. bitchily asks Mitch if he's really planning on buying a condemned building to use as a restaurant and, if so, how in blazes he plans on paying for it...so he informs her that he got a bank loan [presumably by using the house as collateral, given his unemployment and lack of money or other assets]. Shaggy D.A. snappishly says she's glad he's getting a loan 'cause she doesn't want to support his fruitless dreams anymore...and a pained looking Dawson retreats to his bedroom to escape the arguing. While that's happening, Tamara and Gary (Shaggy D.A.'s dinner guest) are visibly uncomfortable at having found themselves in the middle of this domestic spat and look as if they'd love to make a break for it.
Pacey arrives at Andie's house to pick her up and is greeted by her seemingly pleasant mother. She urges him in, natters about how much Andie talks about him, and invites him to stay for dinner. She then yells up the stairs for Tim, her eldest son, to come down for dinner and meet his sister's new beau.
When the power goes out at the Ice House, Joey and Jack join forces to move the lobsters from their holding tank into an ice filled container so they won't immediately perish. As that's happening, Andie arrives looking for Pacey...then realizes with horror that he must have misunderstood that he was supposed to meet her downtown instead of at her house. She's all, "Ack!" and rushes off.
Vincent and Jen have moved on from exchanging flirty banter to playing 'what was your most embarrassing sexual encounter?' Vincent shares that he unwittingly picked up a transgender woman with whom he became friends after they stayed up all night drinking together, while Jen tells him about the time her parents caught her in their bed while she was getting busy with her ex-boyfriend. Ew. Vincent vacantly mutters, "Whoa, that's a bummer" and leans in for a smooch.
Dawson find Abby in his bedroom, spying on Jen with binoculars. An irked Dawson's all, "What the hell are you doing in my room?", so she pretends to be concerned about Jen being on a date with an older guy. She says she heard all the arguing downstairs and asks him if his parents are getting a divorce, then says she found divorce to be a huge improvement in her home life situation 'cause of the huge guilt-fueled allowance she gets every week. She then gives Dawson a shoulder rub and purrs about how great he smells - OMFG no - and he irritably tells her that whatever ungodly act she's hoping this will lead to is definitely not going to happen. She says she's OK with that, then asks if he wouldn't mind kissing her in front of his window so that Jen can see the two of them and seethe with jealousy (if she happens to be looking out of her window at that exact moment), and he responds by shoving her out of his window...and I'll have to assume that Mitch had a change of heart and put the ladder back so that Abby isn't forced to leap off the roof.
Dawson summons both of his parents into the living room and asks them point blank if they have an open marriage...and they just stare back at him with constipated looking expressions on their faces.
Vincent is getting increasingly amorous as he mounts Jen atop the kitchen table. Jen's all, "Whoa" and tells him they've taken things far enough, but he refuses to back off and says they're just getting to the good stuff. Jen panics and blurts out that she's sixteen years old...and as Vincent debates whether or not he wants to go down the Tamara pedo route, Grams returns home after bible study and barks at him to get the hell off of her granddaughter and out of her house.
Andie races home, finds Pacey in her house, and begs him to leave her with asap. Pacey's all, "Whyyyy?" and tells her that her mom seems to really like him and just invited him to stay for dinner. He then assumes that she wants them to beat a hasty retreat 'cause she's ashamed of subjecting her mom and Tim to a dope like him, and an exasperated Andie blurts out, "Tim died!" and tears up.
As Joey and Jack struggle to save the lobsters, the lone customer sitting in the restaurant suggests they unplug, then plug the tank back in...and, luckily, that ends up doing the trick. A few seconds later, Joey and Jack are startled when they realize that the customer has suddenly disappeared, but are thrilled when they find the $100 tip he left, along with a poem written on a napkin about how lovers shouldn't squander their love. Joey and Jack then stare longingly at each other and lock lips before Joey pulls away and continues cleaning up the restaurant.
Dawson orders Shaggy D.A. and Mitch to tell him if they have an open marriage...and when Shaggy D.A. snarks that she too would like to know the answer to that question, Mitch explains that he somehow figured an open marriage would heal the brokenness of their relationship after she cheated on him - but now realizes what a boneheaded non-solution that was. Shaggy D.A. wearily says she can't keep apologizing for her extra-martial doinking of Bob the co-anchor, then goes back to entertaining Gary (assuming he hasn't yet had the sense to flee this domestic war zone). Dawson angrily chides Mitch for having too big of an ego to let Shaggy D.A. off the hook, forgive her, and fix this family - but Mitch tearfully says he has no idea how to fix something this broken and begins ugly crying.
On the porch, Grams tells Jen she has no idea what to do with her, and makes clear she never wants to witness her being mounted by a guy atop her kitchen table ever again. She incredulously asks, "Have you no respect for yourself?" then storms back into the house, leaving a crying Jen sitting on the front steps.
Dawson arrives at the Ice House just as Joey and Jack are closing up. Jack tells Joey he can finish up the rest on his own, and Joey's all, "Phew!" and hastily exits the restaurant with Dawson.
Andie tells Pacey that Tim was killed in a car crash while their mom was drunk behind the wheel. Her dad, whose business is now failing, bailed on the family and now just checks in on them once a week ['cause he's a total douche] while she runs the household and lets Jack live in his fantasy world 'cause he's not very adept at coping with the unpleasantness of his current family situation. She adds that her mom is reasonably functional some of the time, then admits that it's hard to have so much responsibility heaped onto her plate. Pacey reacts to this onslaught of sadness by giving her a comforting hug.
Dawson and Joey climb up the ladder leading to Dawson's bedroom so they can sit outside together and avoid his warring parents. Joey makes a half-hearted attempt to 'fess up about the kiss between her and Jack - but he cuts her off and says that right now all he wants to do is stare at her face in the light of the full moon and kiss her.
Shaggy D.A. is curled up in a chair in the bedroom, staring despondently into space when Mitch enters. The two agree that since their living situation has become completely untenable, he will move out.
Elsewhere under the full moon..
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