Recap: In conclusion to the previous episode..
The next day at Capeside High, Dawson is finishing up a presentation for Mr. Peterson's English class on the mystery genre in film. Mr. Peterson then calls on Abby to deliver her presentation, but she says she's not prepared on account of her family pet chewed up a box of laxatives and bled the death...and despite the fake tragedy of her deceased pet, it remains unclear how one would have anything to do with the other. Mr. Peterson calls her out on the brazen fib and warns that if she fails to turn in her project on time, she's going to fail the entire course. A few seconds later, the bell rings to signal the end of the period - which means it would have been too late for Abby to deliver her presentation, so it's weird that Mr. Peterson even called on her - and as everyone rushes off, Chris Wolfe finds a handwritten letter that someone accidentally dropped on the floor and looks intrigued by its contents.
Andie joins Pacey at his table in the cafeteria and gives him a big smooch, and he looks visibly uncomfortable with the PDA and tells her it's probably not a good idea to so blatantly advertise their budding romance. An unfazed Andie thanks him for the awesome date they had last night and applauds him for being the perfect gentleman.
Elsewhere in the cafeteria, Dawson gives Jen the latest version of his movie script, which now contains a sex scene between the Dawson character and the beautiful neighbor from the big city. Subtle. He saucily adds that last night's impromptu smoochfest inspired him to add a bit of racy sex to his movie.
Chris shows Abby the mysterious letter he found, and Abby looks intrigued as she reads aloud a passage..
I want to talk to you about last night. The whole night was amazing, but sex changes everything. I think we should take some time before anything happens again.
Abby asks Chris who wrote the letter, and he says he has no clue, 'cause he found it lying on the floor of their English class after everyone had filed out.
Jack asks Joey if she turned in the nude drawing of him to her teacher yet, and Joey says she hasn't and is about to pull it out of her folder when Jack stops her and says he'd prefer that not everyone at Capeside High get a gander at his sketched naughties. He then asks if he can have it after she's shown it to her teacher...and when Joey gives him a weird look, he explains that he wants it as a keepsake so that he can always remember their first near doink.
Andie asks Pacey what he got on his history quiz, but he moodily declines to show her...and when she asks him if he's angry about last night, he moodily assures her he's not. Andie chides him for doing the typical guy thing of shutting down when the relationship shows its first signs of progressing into something serious, but he denies shutting down and explains away his glumness by saying he needs to go study.
Dawson tells Jen that he's completely fine with them being platonic friends, and she looks visibly bummed that last night's amorousness did nothing to change the status of their relationship - a level of disappointment that seems wildly inconsistent with her firm rebuffing of his advances the night they went skinny dipping two episodes ago.
Abby tells Chris that, for her English project that's supposed to be about mystery in literature, she's going to "deconstruct literary convention" and crack The Mystery of the Letter Someone Accidentally Dropped on the Floor. Sounds less like a clever deconstruction than a guaranteed way of getting an F in English class. When Chris says that the author of the letter could be anyone, Abby points out that there are only three couples in the class, then glances around the cafeteria, motions at Dawson/Jen, Jack/Joey, and Andie/Pacey, and makes a case to why someone in each couple could be the author. She tells Chris that she's going to need him to videotape the investigative process...and when he asks what he's going to get out of the deal, she reluctantly promises, "I'll let you touch me in bad places." Chris perks up at that and is all, "Deal!" ... which is so completely ew on so many levels, even for '90s TV.
Dawson and Joey are standing together in front of the school, waiting for the heavy rain to subside. Joey comes right out and asks Dawson if his new movie is about them...and when he admits that it's "in the vein" of them, Joey jokes that she should probably read the script in order to ensure that it's not character assassination. Dawson looks deeply troubled by the remark and earnestly assures her that he'd never ever write anything hurtful about her.
Abby tells Chris that she's going to start shaking the tree to see what falls out, then runs into Jen in the hall. She tells Jen she read Dawson's newest script rewrite, which now includes a kinky sex scene with the beautiful neighbor from the big city, then asks if the two of them acted it out in real life beforehand. Jen dismissively tells her her mind is in overdrive, so Abby retorts, "People do hear things...like about the other night", then asks if Dawson has talents besides filmmaking. When Jen snaps back that what happens in her bedroom stays in her bedroom, Abby bitchily asks her if all the pining she did over Dawson this season has been worth it...and Jen stonily says it was, then storms off to class. Chris applauds Abby for getting Jen to crack so easily - but Abby points out that extracting a sexual confession from Jen isn't worth a helluva lot, which means she's still on the hunt to figure out who wrote the letter. In lieu of focusing on her own life and/or working on her assignment for English class.
Abby connives to get a sample of Pacey's handwriting by asking him to sign a petition for a school condom dispenser - LOL - and then tries to get Jack and Andie to do the same, while Chris tries in vain to get Dawson to admit to hitting the sheets with Jen. Abby tells Andie that she heard all about hers and Pacey's racy evening last night and fibs that word on the street is that Pacey found her lacking. As Andie absorbs the insult while neither confirming nor denying getting it on with Pacey, a frustrated Abby heads over to the computer lab, where Chris had been trying to pump Joey for intel. She notices that Joey accidentally left behind her drawing of nude Jack and stares at the dead ringer for Mr. Bean sketch while murmuring, "And the plot thickens."
Abby drops by Dawson's house to try to convince him that she has it on good authority Joey and Jack went to bed together, then shows him the nude Jack drawing as proof. When Dawson does his best to look unaffected and points out that a nude drawing for an art class does not a sexual encounter make, Abby asks him if Joey has ever drawn him naked. As Dawson chews on that while contemplatively staring into space, she sympathetically clucks about how, after all these years, he didn't end up being Joey's first...which essentially makes him her nothing.
Chris feigns enough interest in The Mystery of the Letter Someone Accidentally Dropped on the Floor to ask Abby if she knows whodunit yet, and she assures him that all will be revealed soon enough. She then orders him to discreetly hand out invitations to all six of her suspects, asking them to convene at 7pm in Mr. Peterson's classroom, and Chris mumbles about how she's Nancy Drew...from hell.
Andie is visibly miffed at Pacey and accuses him of blabbing to people about their sexless evening, and Pacey's all, "Wuh?" and insists that he didn't say anything to anyone. Andie says she doesn't buy that and chides him for spreading "sexual propaganda" throughout the school - demonstrating that she doesn't actually understand the meaning of propaganda - and Pacey gets irked and says if she really thinks he'd tell tales about their private bidness, they have nothing to talk about, and storms off.
Joey tells Jen she read Dawson's edited script and expresses annoyance that Fictional Dawson had sex with Fictional Jen. She bitchily asks if the newly added doink was based on anything autobiographical, and Jen wryly says she's going to have to speak with the script's author 'bout that.
Dawson hands Joey her nude Jack drawing as he bitterly says how overwhelmed he is by her artistic abilities.
Abby's invitations have reached all six of the suspects, and at 7pm sharp, Jen, Dawson, Jack, Andie, Pacey, and Joey file into Mr. Peterson's classroom to satisfy their curiosity. Abby arrives with Chris (who has a camera rolling) to reveal her "mystery project", aka uncover the identity of the person who wrote a private letter that Chris found on the floor and didn't have the decency to keep under wraps, given that the content of it was absolutely none of his or Abby's business. As everyone somehow looks intrigued enough to stay in the room in order to see this boneheaded storyline to its conclusion, Abby goes up to the front lectern and rambles maniacally about how sex is the world's greatest mystery - one which poets, scientists, and philosophers have tried to rationalize. Her captive audience tells her to shut it and get to the point, so Abby goes through her list of suspects and explains her theories..
Abby moves onto the couple she hasn't yet harassed: Pacey and Andie. She reveals that the handwriting from the letter matches Pacey's, so Pacey admits that, yeah, he's the one who wrote it...and Andie's all, "Wuh?" and translates this to mean that he has zero desire to have sex with her. After she storms off, Jack gets all in Pacey's face and shoots him the stink-eye for breaking his sister's heart, so Pacey tries to explain that Abby's contrived mystery unraveling isn't exactly as it appears. When Abby cackles about how thrilled she is that Chris was able to get all of this drama on videotape, Jen snarls at her for being a manipulative, cruel, and pathetic dickwad. As she stomps off, Abby hangs her head contritely.
The next day, Mr. Peterson calls on Abby to deliver her literature mystery assignment, then sarcastically asks her if she applied an ounce of integrity to her assignment. Abby looks around at her classmates, decides that her findings with respect to The Mystery of the Letter Someone Accidentally Dropped on the Floor would either be in bad taste or doesn't actually qualify as a legitimate English class assignment and tells Mr. Peterson she didn't complete it. Mr. Peterson curtly gives her an F, then calls on Andie to deliver her presentation.
Later, Jack glumly tells Jen that it's not much fun playing second string to a dumbbell like Dawson, and Jen wryly tells him he'll get used to it (the way she has), and that she loves Dawson - but has concluded that he's unable to stop obsessing about Joey long enough to explore other possibilities. When she asks Jack why he and Joey didn't sleep together, he blushes and whispers that his equipment wouldn't cooperate, and Jen chuckles and says she can only imagine how confusing it was for his penis to pose nude for someone of the opposite sex.
Pacey climbs into the passenger seat of Andie's car so that he can offer a nonsensical explanation as to why he's been so cold and distant lately. He reveals that he got an A on his history quiz, and that no longer being the village idiot shook up his world order so dramatically that he reacted by pulling away from her. He credits her for opening up a whole new life for him, calls her "the single most important being to ever grace my existence", and admits to having fallen hopelessly in love with her. After Andie stares at him in stunned bewilderment for several seconds, she reciprocates her deep feelings of love for him, and then leans in for a kiss.
Dawson asks Joey why she thinks nothing sexual transpired between him and Jen, and Joey just kind of shrugs and says it's all about finding the perfect person. As the two head towards the exit and once again stand in front of the school while waiting for the heavy rain to let up, he asks her why she wanted him to think she'd slept with Jack. She's like, "Dunno, same reason you wanted me to think you slept with Jen" ... and the two express relief that the other is still a virgin and could still conceivably be each other's first. Dawson tells her he misses her and is willing to accept any of part of a friendship with her, and Joey says she'd be up for the two of them slowly re-connecting. Dawson then happily suggests they make a run for it in the heavy rain, but Joey tells him she'd rather walk...which they do and get soaking wet as a result.
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