Recap: Bobby's enjoying an early morning jog on the grounds of Southfork the morning before the annual Ewing barbecue. When he returns to the house, everyone's bustling around setting up the tables and preparing for the big feast. He chides his daddy about the barbecue being a reunion for him...and when Jock's all, "Wha-a?", Bobby explains that Digger Barnes will be in attendance. Jock grumbles, "Willard Digger Barnes.." and asks him why that deadbeat lush is coming. Bobby reminds him that he's Pam's father and his father-in-law and therefore needs to be included in family gatherings. Bobby says that maybe this barbecue will be an opportunity for them to bury the hatchet, then jogs toward the house while Jock makes a blech face and mutters, "My house...my barbecue...Digger Barnes!" Pam is helping Digger get dressed up for the barbecue - but he doesn't look at all thrilled to be attending. Digger natters to Pam, Cliff, and his nephew Jimmy about how Jock swindled him and stole his sweetheart. (Let it go, Digger. It happened over forty fucking years ago.) He reminisces, "She was a sweet little thing, Ellie was" and she had "a way" about her: "sweet one minute, then would come after you with a shotgun the next". Yikes. She sounds bipolar. Cliff asks his dad why he's putting himself through this aggravation by going to the shindig, and Digger says, "Because Pam asked me." Pam smiles and gives him a grateful squeeze, then heads out after telling Digger and Jimmy that she'll see them both at the ranch in a couple of hours. Pam returns to Southfork and greets Sue Ellen, who's setting up the tables. Sue Ellen barks at Pam to move her car so the florist will have somewhere to park, and instead of telling Sue Ellen where she can shove her snarky bitchitude, Pam tosses her keys to Lucy, who's more than happy to re-park the car. Lucy gabbles to Pam about how excited she is that her hot cousin Jimmy is going to be at the barbecue. Apparently, Bobby hinted that they might like each other. Pam groans and tells her that Jimmy is way too immature, even for a shallow nitwit like her. Pam heads up to her room and finds Bobby showering in the bathroom. She phones up her doctor for her test results, and he tells her she's definitely pregnant. She looks stunned, then thrilled, and tells him how wonderful the news is and hangs up. She wanders over to the mirror to check out her non-existent tummy bulge...and when Bobby emerges from the shower, she tells him she learned a riddle today, but doesn't yet know the answer. When he just stares back at her blankly, she says there are only two possible answers, then lays out the riddle: "What do you get when you cross a Barnes with a Ewing?" Bobby quips, "You never cross a Ewing" then asks her what the two possible answers are. She excitedly replies, "A boy...or a girl!" and Bobby stares at her open-mouthed, then walks over to where she's sitting and points at her abdomen questioningly. She tearfully smiles and nods, and Bobby exclaims, "Wow!" LOL. The two kiss, exchange I love yous, and share a happy hug.
Party time! Sue Ellen mingles and chats with a senator, who she then introduces to Ray and his dull looking date, Maureen. Bobby and Pam make their grand entrance, and Bobby wastes no time telling everyone within earshot that Pam is preggers. Lucy interrupts JR as he chats with an attractive young woman named Susie, who he refers to as Ewing Oil's "newest little lady". When JR wanders off to mingle with more important guests, Susie remarks to Lucy that JR hired her, ands Lucy chuckles, "Oh JR...he never misses a trick" - then gets bored with the conversation and wanders off, leaving Susie staring after her in puzzlement. Miss Ellie sees Digger and Jimmy arrive, and politely welcomes them to Southfork. Digger gazes at her dreamily and tells her she looks as awesome as always, then introduces her to Jimmy...and then Pam comes by and offers to introduce Jimmy around so that Miss Ellie and Digger can have some alone time. One of the servers congratulates Bobby on his and Pam's baby news, but urges him to tell his parents so they don't accidentally hear it from someone else. Lucy asks Ray if he heard that Pam's expecting, but he just stares at her blankly...so I guess that's a no. He pretends to be happy about the news, but then orders Maureen to go get them some more drinks so he can mopishly stare into space by himself. The stress of Digger's presence is causing Jock to drink heavily. He natters to one of the servers that he didn't steal Digger's girl and insists that Digger and Miss Ellie were only ever just friends. Bobby tells Jock that he and Pam have some exciting news to share with him, Miss Ellie, and Digger - but Jock just scowls and says he's not thrilled to have to be in the same orbit as Digger. Miss Ellie and Digger are reminiscing about their coming of age in the 1930s. She admits she had to marry Jock in order to save her parents' ranch, but has no regrets 'bout that 'cause she and Jock have had a good marriage and produced three fine sons (OK...one's a hopeless drunk, one's a womanizing scamp, but Bobby seems nice). She tells Digger she still thinks about him a lot, but insists she did what she had to do. Plus, who gives a shit anymore because all of this happened forty fucking years ago!!! She then shakes it off and tells him they'd better get back to the barbecue before people start to gossip. Lucy blabs about Pam's pregnancy to Sue Ellen, and Sue Ellen pretends to be delighted with the news and walks over to Pam to personally congratulate her and gush about how excitin' it'll be for everybody. She then makes a beeline over to where JR is holding court with a group of guests, pulls him aside and tells him about the baby, and reminds him that there's nothing Jock would like more than a grandson. She bitterly says that because he's shown no interest in ever doinking her again, they're not going to get to be the couple who gives the crusty Ewing patriarch his first grandson. Incidentally, it seems somewhat out of character for JR to not have worked harder in this capacity and created at least one Ewing heir before neglecting his wife in favor of other women. Sue Ellen blurts out, "She is pregnant, JR!" and snaps at him to chew on that for awhile, then storms off.
As Sue Ellen starts drinking heavily, Lucy joins Jimmy at one of the picnic tables...and, as we later find out, Jimmy attempts to win Lucy's heart by acting as though he has half a brain cell. She asks him what he likes to do in his leisure time, and he says shoot pool...and when she coquettishly asks him if he's good at anything else, he grunts, "Nuthin' much." She asks him if he has a girlfriend, and he says he's never given girls that much thought, so Lucy looks alarmed and goes, "You don't like boys, do you?" He enthusiastically replies, "Shore do!" - LOL - and Lucy tries to clarify, "But you don't like them in...that way?" and Jimmy stares at her blankly and asks, "In what way?" Lucy finally throws in the towel and flees the table. Sue Ellen is sitting at a table filled with elderly women, drunkenly nattering at them about how JR isn't fulfilling her needs in the sack. She waves her wine glass around and complains to the bewildered women about the lack of penetration she's been getting from her husband and says, "I keep myself naace", and explains that she's scarcely gained a pound since winning the Miss Texas pageant. She then babbles about whether or not Jock will love JR less than Bobby if Pam has a boy...then suddenly cackles and says that Jock probably loves JR less to begin with. A few seconds later, she tears up and tells the dumbfounded party guests that what she really wants is for JR to love her more...or at the very least not be totally repulsed by the sight of her. She wonders aloud, "Is that asking for too much?" then starts weeping. That was kind of an awesome spectacle. Miss Ellie returns to the party with Digger in tow and tells Jock she was giving Digger a tour of the ranch - but Jock just glares daggers at Digger [there's a tongue twister: daggers at Digger], then barks at Bobby to announce his damn news already 'cause he has guests to attend to. Bobby happily announces that his bun is in Pam's oven, and Miss Ellie and Jock instantly light up, shriek happily, and hug each other. Digger, however, looks less than thrilled and quietly asks Pam if she's happy, and she assures him she is DE-lighted. Jock hugs Bobby and growls in his gravelly voice, "I damn sure hope it's a boy" and acknowledges that his overtly sexist comment is probably "out of style". Pam sternly tells Jock that she intends for the baby to have two granddaddies, and Jock looks horrified by the notion of having any familial connection to Digger, and then Jock and Digger are egged on to make nice and shake hands. The two reluctantly shake hands for a couple of seconds, and then Jock gruffly says they need to see to their guests and stalks off with Digger trailing behind him.
Pam asks Jimmy if he’s having a good time, and he laughingly tells her that his "dumb as a post" routine worked like a charm on Lucy. Pam nods approvingly and tells him that Lucy "does not respond to cool", but rather low functioning yokels, 'cause she eagerly offered to give Jimmy a tour of the ranch. Er...OK. I would have pegged Lucy as someone who gets turned on by the quintessential "bad boy", but whatevs, writers. JR is drinking heavily and looking bummed. Maybe he and Sue Ellen could have drunken sex later. Jock and Digger head over to the bar together, and Jock orders Digger to stick to soda pop while he pours himself a stiff drink. He pronounces that his grandchild is going to have everything he/she desires, including a pony, but Digger gets irked and accuses Jock of wanting to take control of his unborn grandchild's life - much like the way his daughter now lives in his house. He then blames him for swindling what was his back in the '30s (gaaaaa!!!), so Jock explains that he simply withheld that money to stop him from drinking it away. Pam, Bobby, and Miss Ellie rush over and order them to stop bickering - but Jock ignores them, disdainfully calls Digger a loser, and stomps off. Digger reaches for the nearest bottle, pours himself a drink, and starts guzzling. Digger starts drunkenly dancing and singing "She's the sweetest little rosebud that Texas ever kneewww", and everyone gathers around to enjoy the bizarre spectacle. Bobby runs after Jock and rebukes him for publicly insulting Digger, and Jock barks at him not to lecture him in his own house. A mortified Pam steers her father away from the dance floor and deposits him at the nearest table. A drunken JR joins Digger, and they both agree on how much they hate the fact that Pam and Bobby are married. Pam ambles over to the stables and finds Lucy and Jimmy giggling together in the hayloft - but fortunately they're both still fully clothed. Pam asks Jimmy to take Digger home before he starts doing the sideways shuffle, and Jimmy agrees. Lucy offers to go with him...and after the two scamper off, Pam climbs up to the hayloft to decompress. Sue Ellen is riding a horse, still very drunk, when Bobby and JR appear at the stables. She jokes about how much she wants what Pam has, then admonishes JR for depriving her of any marital bedroom action. Apropros of nothing, JR invokes Pam's sexual history and snidely calls her "plain trash", and Bobby retorts by punching him in the face. Sue Ellen asks Bobby to take her home, and the two leave while JR rolls around in the dirt, clutching his fat lip. JR stumbles over to the barn and sees Pam lounging up in the hayloft, and for God-knows-what reason, he climbs up there and crawls over to where she's laying. He natters, "I always go too far" and Pam gasps and looks startled to see him approach and agrees that, yeah, he does go too far. JR leeringly shows her his fat lip, courtesy of Bobby's fist, and Pam says he no doubt deserved it, then informs him that she and Bobby are planning to move away from Southfork. JR looks alarmed and says they can't split up the family, then grabs her hands and implores her to reconsider. A creeped out Pam springs to her feet and backs away...but backs up too far and does an involuntary back flip off of the hayloft, landing face down in a big pile of hay. JR peeks over the hayloft with an oh shit expression on his face.
Later, Bobby breaks the news to his parents that Pam lost the baby. Pam is OK physically, but it's still up in the air as to whether or not she's going to be able to have children in the future. JR, who's lurking nearby, mumbles a drunken apology, but Bobby ignores that and demands to know why he went into the barn to talk to his wife. JR just shrugs helplessly and slurs, "I'm thorry..." just as the doctor appears and tells Bobby he can see Pam now. As he rushes into the house, Jock and Ellie glare at a sheepish JR. Pam is laying in bed, looking tearful and sad. Bobby rails about how his family caused this and announces that they're going to leave the ranch as soon as she's well enough. Jock suddenly appears in the doorway and admits that he probably shouldn't have publicly humiliated Digger the way he did...and that he believes JR only intended to apologize to Pam. He then directs his attention toward Pam and tells her that the Ewings are a hard family to live with, but that he really really wants to keep his family together and not lose another son. After Jock exits the room, Bobby asks his wife if she thinks what happened was really an accident, and she says yes. He then asks her if she wants to continue living at Southfork, and she says she does, and the two clutch hands. As JR sits outside and tries to sober up with a cup of coffee, Sue Ellen ambles over to him and asks him if he pushed Pam off the hayloft - and he glares at her and says he did not. She then asks him if he's sorry that Pam lost the baby, but he doesn't answer that question and just stares moodily into space. She doesn't press him further and asks him if he's coming inside, and he mumbles, "In a minute." And that's where the writers decided to abruptly end Season 1. Weird. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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