Recap: Kelly tells Clare and Steve that her AIDS-afflicted friend Jimmy is planning to perform a magic show at a comedy club, and asks them to please come. Clare's game, and Steve says he'll go as long as he doesn't have to "swap any bodily fluids with him". Kelly and Clare glare at him with a mixture of disgust and incredulity as he declares that when it's his time to go, he wants his death to be quick. I'm sure that can be arranged. He then grumps about how depressing it's going to be to watch a dying man perform magic tricks.
The Peach Pit. Nat excitedly shows Mel and David a photo of his new baby...and they go through the motions of oohing and aahing over the little gaffer until Nat gets distracted with a customer and ambles off. Mel emphasizes to David how important college is, then chides him for moving out of the dorm and into an expensive Hollywood Hills party house. David admits he thought he'd be hired for more [well...any] video gigs, and Mel says, "My point exactly." David tells his dad how awesomely talented he thinks he is despite getting cut from MZA. Mel somehow manages not to burst into gales of laughter and asks his idiot son if he ever wondered why his contract was dropped, and David says he doubts it has anything to do with the quality of his work sucking. Mel reminds him that he'll be graduating this year and then unleashed onto the world...then looks exasperated at David's general boneheadedness and heads out just as Donna enters the diner. Donna asks David whassup, then lectures him about how his dad has a right to know that he dropped out of school (well d'yuh - especially if he's shelling out money for tuition and rent), and David snarks back that he has a right to live his own life. Donna tells him that school is really really important, then suggests that maybe now isn't the time for him to cling to the illusion that he has a career in music video production. David bitchily retorts that maybe it didn't work out for him so well because he always had to carry her. What a rude, pompous assfuck.
CUTV. Brandon and Mark have finished piecing together a video to air on the university's faux TV station during the first week of school. Mark reminds Brandon that they still need to find a news anchor, so the two start sifting through a stack of audition tapes.
The Peach Pit. Nat bores Valerie and Kenny with his baby photos, and they make a half-hearted effort to ooh and aah. After Nat scampers off, Valerie and Kenny discuss getting bids for the After Dark renovation project. She thanks him for helping her out, and he says it's nice to be appreciated for a change - implying that his she-devil of a wife does not appreciate him. He stares at Val dreamily and tells her he's falling for her, and she smiles and assures him she won't ever come between him and his son. She earnestly tells him, "Whatever happens, there are no strings attached." Heh. He may want to get that in writing before diaper-gate.
CUTV. Brandon and Mark are watching the audition tapes, but none of the news anchor wannabes are up to their high standards. Mark grumbles that it's a waste of time and despairs that they'll find an anchor in time. By scripted coincidence, a pretty young woman enters the station at that moment and says she heard they were auditioning news anchors. She introduces herself as Tracy Gaylian, freely admits that she has no experience in broadcast journalism whatsoever, and for some reason Mark and Brandon like the sound of that and invite her to perform an audition. Incidentally, Tracy looks a lot like Susan Keats, which I found a tad disconcerting.
Friendship House. Jimmy is showing Kelly his photo album and pointing out his boyfriend and various family members. Hal enters the room, shoots Kelly the stink-eye, and snidely calls her "an angel of mercy". Er...OK? Jimmy apologizes for his dickish behavior, then heads over to the kitchen to start dinner...and Kelly trails after him and asks what she can do to help. He asks her to get him a knife, so she retrieves a large one from one of the drawers, hands it to Jimmy, then starts making a salad. Jimmy gabbles about the importance of having photos as mementos when he accidentally cuts his hand with the large knife. Kelly grabs a towel to help stem the bleeding, and in the process gets his blood all over her hands. She stares at her bloodied hands in horror, then rushes over to the sink to wash it off and derisively remarks, "All this blood. It's infected." Well, d'yuh, Kelly - and way to make a dying man feel like shit. Jimmy looks stricken, then profusely apologizes for inadvertently spilling his diseased blood on her. He assures her it's not possible to get AIDS this way, and she nods but continues to look totally wigged out.
CUTV. Tracy is auditioning for news anchor, but it doesn't look promising when she stares into the camera and freezes like a deer in headlights.
Hollywood Hills. David is working the phones trying to get a video production gig, but no one is interested in hiring him. Shocker.
CUTV. Mark complains to Brandon that Tracy is a dull news anchor - but when the wrong video is played during the back-to-school schtick, Tracy smoothly improvises...and Mark and Brandon look very impressed.
Beach house. Kelly's in the bathroom, muttering, "Out, damned spot!" as she frantically scrubs her hands and spouts scary AIDS statistics to Donna. Jimmy phones to see how she's doing, and she tells him she's fine - and then bails out on his magic show rehearsal and tells him she's suddenly super busy with school. Jimmy tells her he understands, then cuts the call short and stares sadly at the phone. Nice going, Kelly.
After Dark. Kenny delivers good news to Valerie about the After Dark renovation project. She's delighted and wants to celebrate by going out to dinner, but he tells her he can't make it 'cause it's parents' night at his son's school. Valerie gets pissed off [so much for not wanting to get between him and his son] and asks him if he's really actually getting a divorce, and he assures her it's definitely going to happen. Sort of.
Beach house. Mel drops by to pick up a book that Erin left behind. He compliments Donna on the work she did with David while they were both employed by MZA, and she wrings her hands about their falling out once their contract got dropped. Donna looks contemplative for a few seconds, then spills the beans about David dropping out of school. Mel's all, "Wha-a?!" and Donna says she's sure that tattling on David was the right thing to do. Mel's like, "Of course" and then rushes off to give David the what for.
The Walsh house. Steve tells Brandon he'd like to be a sports commentator for CUTV and then gives him an impromptu audition, but Brandon tells him that the faux TV station doesn't even do a sports report - they just report on the hard news. Valerie returns home and gets a delivery of flowers from her man-child boyfriend. Brandon and Steve ask her who they're from, but she wisely stays mute on the subject.
Beach house. Late that night, Kelly is sitting in the living room, glumly looking over her photo album. Donna and Clare emerge from their bedrooms to see whassup, so Kelly tells them about the blood incident at the Friendship House. Clare scrunches her doll face and says she doubts it's possible to get AIDS that way, and Donna offers to set up an appointment with her dad so she can get herself tested. Kelly wails about how everyone is assuring her she's fine but then advises her to see a doctor...and Clare explains that people are advising her to do that for her own peace of mind. Just get tested, nitwit.
Medical Center. Kelly tells the nurse she's probably just overreacting by asking for an AIDS test...but when she rolls up her sleeves, she's horrified to discover that she has an AIDS rash all over her arms. Ack! She undoes several buttons on her shirt and finds the rash on her neck too. A few seconds later, she wakes up in a cold sweat. It was just a dream! Phew.
The next day, Kelly goes in for her AIDS test - for real this time. As she nervously sits in the waiting room, Jimmy arrives to keep her company. He explains that he convinced her roommates to tell him where she was, then asks her if she's OK. She admits that she's terrified, then snarks that she'd rather go through this alone. He tells her it's OK to be scared, then starts babbling about how he got AIDS from having unprotected sex from a boyfriend who wasn't monogamous. The nurse calls for Kelly, and Jimmy tells her it's OK if she wants to turn away from him, but she just mumbles at him to wish her good luck, and then ambles down the hall to get tested.
CUTV. Tracy is sitting at the news desk, frozen with fear as she stares at the cameras. She tells Mark and Brandon she can't do this and could really use a drink.
Medical Center. The humorless doctor tells Kelly it's unlikely she was exposed to AIDS when she got Jimmy's blood on her hands, then asks her about her past sex partners: did any of them have a drug problem? Has she ever had unprotected sex with anyone? Yes and yes. Kelly mulls over the numerous times she indulged in unprotected sex and looks freaked out again, and the doctor tells her she's right to be terrified, since everything having to do with this disease is terrifying. He's not much of an optimist, this doctor.
Kenny shows Valerie the estimates he got for the After Dark reno project, then asks her if she received his flowers. She tells him she did receive his beautiful flowers, and he informs her that he made dinner reservations for the two of them tonight.
Hollywood Hills. Mel drops by David's swanky new pad and gives him several openings to admit that he dropped out of school and has no real plan for his aimless life as a producer wannabe. When David refuses to take the bait, Mel comes right out and tells him he knows he dropped out of CU, then informs him that if he's not attending school anymore, he's cutting him off financially. David snarks back that he doesn't need his money, and Mel calls his bluff and tells him he's on his own.
Bar. Tracy drinks heavily while Brandon and Mark uselessly watch the disaster-in-the-making. She drunkenly describes how she grew up on a farm...and - oh yeah! - has never consumed alcohol before today. A few minutes later she passes out, clunking her head atop the bar. LOL.
CUTV. Tracy is sitting at her vanity table, drunkenly smearing makeup all over her face. Brandon tells Mark to bring over a pot of black coffee, stat!...and a few seconds later, one of the camera guys comes over to announce that they go live in ten minutes. Tracy makes a beeline over to the nearest toilet to vomit.
Beach house. Kelly tells Donna and Clare that if her AIDS test is positive, she'll move out. She then says she's less worried about having been exposed to Jimmy's blood on her hands than she is about the parade of douchenozzles she's doinked without a rubber over the last several years. She tells Donna she's lucky to be a virgin and therefore doesn't have to worry that she may have contracted this ghastly disease.
Hollywood Hills. David calls some agency about the sample video he sent in hopes of getting a job, but is told that his work is not stylish enough. Another shocker.
CUTV. It's one minute to air, and Tracy has downed six cups of black coffee. When the show goes live, she somehow immediately becomes lucid and perfectly delivers her scripted news monologue. Crisis averted.
Beach house. The doctor phones to tell Kelly that her AIDS test was negative. She smiles in relief and exclaims, "Negative!" She, Donna, and Clare share a group hug, and then all three rush to their rooms to get ready for their evening out at Jimmy's magic show.
The gang arrives at the comedy club. Mark seats himself next to Kelly so the two can flirt, and David bitches at Donna for tattling on him to Mel for dropping out of school. Jimmy appears on stage to demonstrate his magic and starts off with a routine/bit involving Steve and a $100 bill...but before he can launch into his second bit, he starts coughing uncontrollably. Everyone looks alarmed and assumes he's coughing because of the AIDS...but when Kelly goes on stage to give him a glass of water, he extracts a real life frog from his throat. Womp womp! All part of the show.
Bel Age Hotel. Valerie and Kenny meet up in a hotel room. Valerie seductively shows him the cart of room service food she ordered, and the two start smooching.
Friendship House. Kelly shows Jimmy her photo album, namely photos of the 90210 gang when they attended West Beverly High. He thanks her for coming to his show tonight and bringing all of her friends, and she apologizes for bitchily abandoning him when she feared she might become HIV positive. She asks to look at his photo album again, and he tells her he packed it up, then says, "It's a matter of days." Kelly puts her sad face on and argues that he's doing great, but Jimmy's like, "Not so much" and tells her that tonight's magic show was his "swan song". He tells her that he loved every minute of it and has no regrets, but he no longer wants to look back and cling to memories. Kelly says she'd like to create a new memory, then pulls out her camera and sets the self timer and poses with him.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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