Beverly Hills, 90210 - Season 5, Episode 28

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

"Girls On the Side"
Original airdate: 5/3/1995

Episode summary: Kelly's Seventeen magazine cover is published, but she's bummed 'cause the photo was taken before she got scarred in the rave fire. LuAnn gets drunk at the After Dark and blurts out to David and Clare that Valerie and Ray hooked up. 

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Recap: Donna's sunning herself on the beach house deck in a skimpy pink bikini, and Kelly comes out wearing a big hat and a cover-up and warns her about the dangers of skin cancer. Donna calls her a downer and invites her to take a dip in the ocean with her, but Kelly declines and says the water's too cold. Donna asks her why she's still wearing the bandage on her wrist and asks if the burn has healed, and Kelly just tightly retorts she doesn't want to go for a swim. The doorbell rings, and it's a delivery woman with a package for Kelly from Seventeen magazine. They've sent her a framed copy of the cover she posed for (earlier in Season 5). Donna is giddy with excitement, while Kelly puts on a sour face.

Ray is on his way back to L.A. in his grungy red truck. When he arrives home, LuAnn hugs him hello and says she missed him. She asks him what (or who) convinced him to return, and he tells her that Valerie flew to Reno to talk him into coming back. When LuAnn makes a face, Ray assures her he's no longer doinking Val and says he's being reinstated at the After Dark, which means his relationship with Val is all business now. LuAnn says she'd love to come to one of his shows, but he's reluctant to invite her 'cause of her embarrassing boozing. Donna pulls into the driveway and honks, and Ray warns LuAnn to keep her trap shut about Val flying to Reno to talk to him, since Donna doesn't know anything about it. He then rushes outside to greet Donna, who's dressed in a mini-skirt and crop top...and has curled her short white hair in odd looking ringlets. After they kiss hello, he mounts her on the front lawn (yep, he really did) where they start going at it.


The Walsh house. Brandon is telling Papa Walsh and Kelly about his upcoming trip to Sacramento to attend a student body president conference. Mama Walsh arrives home with the newest issue of Seventeen magazine (with Kelly's mug on the cover). She was so excited at the grocery store she told the disinterested cashier that the model is her son's girlfriend. Kelly puts on her sour face again and explains that Jackie hasn't told any of the agents (who apparently have been calling non-stop) that she got burned in a fire and now has scars. Steve points out that they can cover them up with makeup, and Kelly gets snarky and snappishly says something about calling up Calvin Klein before she angrily storms out. Brandon tells his puzzled parents that Kelly's been acting bitchy ever since the cover was released 'cause in her mind she'll never look like that again...even though she looks pretty much exactly like she did pre-fire. Steve hangs his head sheepishly, since the fire did break out at his rave party, and says he wishes there was something he could do. Brandon goes outside where Kelly is moping and cheers her up with some canoodling.


The Peach Pit. Dylan is staring at Kelly's Seventeen magazine cover in his usual broody way, and an irked Charlie tells him to put it away and re-focus on their screenplay. Valerie stops by their table and asks whassup, and Charlie eagerly invites her to sit down, while Dylan looks less than thrilled by her presence. They discuss the screenplay - and I mentally checked out - and then Nat comes nosing around and remarks that Kelly really "hit it big time" and that he's thrilled to have a celebrity in their midst. Valerie snidely retorts, "You can work miracles with an airbrush" and Dylan shoots her the stink-eye.


David, Clare, Donna, and Ray arrive at the After Dark together...which is weird 'cause didn't Ray tell Donna he hated all of her friends with the intensity of a thousand suns in the previous episode? Ray asks David how his mom is doing, and as the two chat, Clare remarks to Donna how weird it is that their menfolk are actually having a civil conversation. They then laugh about the improbability of the four of them ever going out on a double date, and suddenly David turns around and tells them that Ray just suggested that the four of them should go out on a double date. The four enter the Peach Pit, and Valerie greets them and welcomes Ray back to L.A. She tells Donna she too is very glad he's returning to the After Dark, and Donna lets out a hmm giggle.


Beach house. Kelly gets a call from someone representing a modeling agency, and she tells him that being on the cover of Seventeen was a one shot deal, then quickly hangs up. She dials Jackie's number and snarkishly warns her not to give out her number to any more agencies. Meanwhile, David, Clare, Donna, and Ray arrive at the apartment, so Kelly retreats to her room to mope in private. She stares at the framedSeventeen magazine cover and has a sudden flashback of when she and Alison were in the bathroom waiting for rescue during the fire and then hurls the framed cover across the room. Everyone in the living room hears the shattering of glass, and Donna yells out to Kelly, asking if she's OK. Kelly says she just dropped something, then starts to cry.


Ahn-drea's/Jesse's apartment. Jesse is feeding Hannah when the Boise judge calls and tells him he got the clerkship. Jesse tells the judge he'd like a couple of days to discuss it with his wife...and when he gets off the phone, Ahn-drea is fake jovial about the move. He tells her the job starts in a month, so she says, "We'd better start packing." Woo hoo!!


Kelly meets Jackie and Steve at an outdoor cafe. Jackie tells her there's a modeling agent she wants her to meet: some guy named Mark Madigan. Kelly starts twitching and whines about her ugly [non-existent] scars, so Steve offers to accompany her to the meeting and says they can leave the instant she feels uncomfortable. Kelly mulls it over and agrees to take the meeting, and Steve springs up from his chair and announces that Mark is expecting them - right now! He escorts a nervous Kelly into a nearby building.


The Pruit house. Ray's in the living room playing his guitar when LuAnn sweeps in wearing a bright red, unspeakably matchy matchy skirt/flowy top ensemble. He informs her that most people who go to the After Dark keep it casual and just wear jeans and a t-shirt, then asks her if she's been drinking. LOL. She admits to throwing back a few, but insists she's fine...but Ray just stares at her worriedly.


Kelly is pleased at how the meeting with Mark Madigan went, particularly 'cause he told her her scars were barely noticeable and he could get her more modeling gigs like pronto. Two little girls standing beside a newsstand ask Kelly if she's the model on the cover of Seventeen, and when she tells them it is, they scamper off. As she watches them scamper, she happens to notice Dana, (burn victim) Alison's girlfriend. She goes over to say hello and asks how Alison is doing, but Dana looks less than thrilled to see her and retorts bitchily to her questions.


After Dark. As Ray readies himself to take the stage, Donna tells him it's going to be a full house. He's staring over at LuAnn, who's sitting at the bar getting hammered...and I see she's wearing the top part of her bright red matchy matchy ensemble. Ray says he's worried she's going to make a spectacle of herself, then orders Donna to get rid of her. Donna runs into Valerie and informs her of the LuAnn situation and says she really doesn't want to humiliate the woman - but fortunately, Valerie has no compunction about inflicting humiliation on others and offers to take care of the problem. She marches straight to the bar and orders the bartender to cut LuAnn off. Donna meekly suggests to LuAnn that she go home, then ambles off to see if Clare and David can give her a ride. LuAnn shoots Valerie the stink-eye and calls her a bossy little tramp, and an unfazed Valerie tells her she's an embarrassing lush and reminds her that it's Ray's big night. Clare and David arrive on the scene and usher a wobbly LuAnn toward David's jeep. As David hauls her into the passenger seat, she drunkenly spills the beans about Ray and Valerie doinking...and Clare and David both stare at each other in shock.


The Peach Pit. Nat pours Ahn-drea a cup of coffee as the two discuss her imminent move to Boise. He asks her if there's a medical school in Boise, and she looks fake serene and says she's happy to become a potato farmer, or a couch potato. And we're happy to see you off and let you become that.


Ray takes the stage, and everyone loudly applauds. Thankfully, the scene ends before the music starts and we're not forced to watch him perform. Not that I wouldn't have just fast-forwarded through it anyway.


The Pruit house. Clare exits the house after she puts LuAnn to bed. She tells David she's disturbed about what LuAnn blurted out to them earlier, but believes it's the truth since she now remembers seeing Val check Ray out. That said, she tells David they should play dumb and not reveal to Donna what they know.


Dylan's house. Dylan and Charlie are planning to spend the evening watching a movie together. Charlie is disappointed that Valerie isn't coming 'cause he somehow got it into his head that they were going to have a threesome. Ew. Dylan is understandably icked out by that disturbing visual, and Charlie accuses Dylan of mooning over Kelly and urges him to fight for her, blah blah.


Sacramento. Kelly calls Brandon in his hotel room to tell him that she's thinking of visiting Alison at the burn clinic, then tells him about how Dana snubbed her on the street. Brandon doesn't really give a rat's ass and just tells her to do whatever feels right.


After Dark. Valerie compliments Ray on his performance and says he's really improved after being on the road for two months. She announces that she'd like a photo for the display case to forever capture the night of his return to the After Dark, so Nat dutifully runs off to fetch the camera. Clare and David enter the club and tell Donna that LuAnn is safely passed out in her house. Nat, meanwhile, returns with the camera and starts snapping photos of Ray, Donna, and Valerie...and Clare and David express how nauseating the spectacle makes them, and wander off. David suggests that maybe LuAnn was exaggerating what actually happened between Ray and Val, and he and Clare go back and forth about whether or not they should tell Donna. In the end, David agrees that they shouldn't tell her.


Burn Center. Kelly arrives with a gift basket and announces to the nurse that she came to pay Alison a visit...so the nurse goes over to Alison's room to see if she wants visitors. After a minute, she returns and says that Alison doesn't want to see her...specifically not her. Kelly looks upset and leaves the hospital, then heads straight over to Dana's house for answers. Dana isn't home, but her girlfriend Kate invites her in for some awkward chit-chat. After some initial unpleasantries, Kate informs her that Alison dumped Dana soon after the fire because she's in love with her (Kelly)...and Kelly looks completely stunned and a more than a little icked out.


Ray is hosing off his truck when David stops by. He comes right out and tells Pumpkin Head that he knows about his affair with Valerie 'cause his drunk mother spilled the beans. Ray admits he messed up, but explains that Valerie came on really strong and says, "You know how it is." David tells him this is precisely how he lost Donna, then promises not to tell her about him and Val...but he will if it ever happens again. Ray assures him it won't - and as soon as David leaves, he storms inside the house and asks his ma what the hell she told "those people" last night. LuAnn just stares back at him mutely with a sheepish expression on her face.


After Dark. Clare stops by Valerie's office to snark at her for hitting the sheets with Ray. Valerie tries to deny it and insists that they're just friends, but Clare isn't buying it and warns her to stay away from Pumpkin Head - the one man in the world Donna's in love with.


Ahn-drea's/Jesse's apartment. Ahn-drea tells Jesse she's been doing some research on Idaho, but he informs her they're not moving there. He talked to the judge and told him that Boise wasn't the right place for them since there's no medical school. Ahn-drea is stunned and touched at his thoughtfulness, and the two start making out. These two are actually slightly fun to watch when they're not constantly bickering.


Beach house. Kelly's in a grumpy mood and complains to Donna that Steve and Jackie are driving her nuts about resuming her modelling career. She then complains that her arm is so itchy all the time, and Donna says it's probably 'cause she keeps that dumb bandage on it and never allows her skin to breathe. The phone rings and it's Alison, so Kelly takes the phone to her bedroom in order to talk privately. Alison, who we only see from behind shrouded under a baseball cap, apologizes for not wanting her see her when she came to the burn center, and blames it on the intense pain she sometimes feels in her legs. She tells Kelly she saw the Seventeen cover, compliments her beauty, and assures her she feels no ill will toward her - in fact, it's just the opposite. Kelly tries to steer the conversation away from that awkward topic and asks her how she's doing. Alison says she just needs one final skin graft, and after that she'll be suitable for public viewing...and the two agree to meet in a few weeks to discuss "issues" face to face. After the call, Kelly removes the bandage from her wrist and - no surprise - there's absolutely no trace of any burned skin.


The Walsh house. Brandon is gabbling to his parents about his Sacramento trip when Kelly pops by. When she notices the stack ofSeventeen magazines on the kitchen table, Brandon explains that the other student body presidents at the conference were so impressed that she's his girlfriend, they wanted their own personally autographed copy of the magazine. Kelly happily starts signing the covers, and Mama Walsh chirps, "Oh, and one for Brenda!" (Give it up, Cindy. She's never getting rehired.) Kelly tells the Walshes she's finally ready to re-embrace modelling, and when Brandon asks her what happened to her wrist bandage, she says she doesn't need it anymore...and the Walshes exchange happy glances.

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