And Just like That... - Episode 7

Miranda officially pronounces her marital sex life dead

"Sex and the Widow"
Original airdate: 1/13/2022

Episode summary: Miranda throws in the towel on hers and Steve's sex life. Carrie's editor urges her to inject hope into her next book by re-entering the dating pool. Charlotte and Harry get into a fight after a tennis match.

---

Recap: Carrie is sitting in front of her window, looking sad as she taps away on her laptop...and continues to look sad as she taps away on her laptop while the seasons change around her.

Carrie meets with her editor, Amanda, who wankishly tells her she actually shed tears while reading her manuscript and would like to fast track the book so that it's on the shelves in time for the holiday season. Amanda marvels at the book's raw, brutal honesty in the aftermath of Big's demise...and says it's sooooo tragic that Carrie's quest for love during six seasons of Sex and the City ended with the love of her life senselessly keeling over after a Peloton workout. Carrie just kind of shrugs and says, "That's what happened", so Amanda gently reminds her that her readers mostly identify her as a vacuous raunch columnist and likely would rather not get depressed while reading her new 'I'm sad that Big is dead' book. She suggests interjecting a tiny glimmer of hope about a possible new love interest on the horizon, in the form of an upbeat epilogue, and Carrie stares into space as she quietly mulls over the prospect of re-entering the dating pool.

"Your depressing book needs a pick-me-up at the end."

"Drats. I was going for an 'all hope is lost' type theme."

Charlotte and Lisa warm up to play a doubles tennis match against a couple of old ladies. Lisa pumps up Charlotte by bragging, "We can beat these bitches" ... and then we get a lot of superfluous footage of the ensuing match with Eye of the Tiger playing in the background.

Miranda is at an outdoor farmer's market, barking directions at Steve over the phone about where exactly she's standing, and finally gets so exasperated with the dolt that she snarls, "Just find me, OK?!" A few seconds later, she runs into Nya and Andre and wistfully notes how utterly adorbs Andre is...and after Andre ambles off to buy some cheese, Nya tells Miranda that her umpteenth attempt at getting pregnant has failed, as was evidenced by her period appearing today after being late for two weeks. Steve finally wanders over, gets introduced to Nya, and then yammers like a senile old man about how he left his wallet at the pickle guy's booth...and when he flails off to retrieve it, Miranda stares back at Nya and looks visibly embarrassed at being married to such a buffoon. 

Carrie meets up with with Amanda to wring her hands about how depressing her latest book is, and to suggest that maybe it shouldn't be published 'cause her readers needn't be burdened by her never ending well of sadness. Amanda disagrees and informs her that Oprah's book club people have expressed an interest in acquiring and discussing her latest drivel...which, even though I'm not an Oprah book club member, I can't help but find utterly implausible.

While dining out with Miranda, Charlotte, and Seema, Carrie announces that her editor has instructed her to re-enter the dating pool so that she can tack a hopeful epilogue onto her depressing 'I'm sad that Big is dead' book. Charlotte excitedly coos to Carrie about all the cute dads she knows who wouldn't consider it slumming to go out with her socially, but Carrie nixes that idea and says she'd prefer to go the dating app route and be more anonymous. Seema informs her that she's already listed her on three different dating apps and that she's unwittingly attracted a significant amount of buzz, then pulls out her phone and swipes the photos of the various men who've expressed an interest in potential romance with horsey-faced widows.

"I know a lot of single dads you could date."

"Sorry, I'm looking to humiliate myself in a far more anonymous way."

While strolling the city at night, Carrie tells Miranda that the idea of having sex with anyone other than Big makes her sick to her stomach, and that she isn't entirely jazzed about having to get back on the rollercoaster that was her dating life during much of Sex and the City. Miranda says that she, on the other hand, would looooove to get back onto that rollercoaster 'cause of how dull as fuck her marriage with Steve has gotten, then wrings her hands about how Che hasn't responded to her latest DM about the two of them chillin' together. She asks Carrie if Che ever mentions her over at Podcast Headquarters, and Carrie says no, and gently reminds her that Che is kinda on the promiscuous side. Miranda scrunches her face glumly and laments having had the greatest digit sex of her life, the likes of which she'll probably never experience again, and Carrie says she knows how she feels - but that she wins [the reboot's ongoing competition as to who's allowed to be the most miserable] 'cause Big is dead.

Harry tells Charlotte that he ran into Herbert Wexley and had a chat about their wives playing doubles tennis together...then not-so-subtly hints that he'd loooove to be invited to play a game of mixed doubles with her, Lisa and Herbert. Yawn.

Nya is driving with Andre in the passenger seat when CarPlay announces to Nya that her phone has an incoming text message from Miranda, and proceeds to read Miranda's sympathy note to Nya about how she hopes that the conversation with Andre about her not being pregnant went OK. Nya frantically tries to turn it off and gets so flustered that she has to slam on her brakes at an intersection where two men are taking a toddler for a stroll. One of the men marches over and yells at Nya for not watching where she's going and screeches, "I have a toddler!" ... and after he storms off, Andre and Nya chuckle at the man's funny looking meltdown before Nya apologizes for confiding in Miranda about her barren status before telling her own husband.

Carrie swipes through various men on a dating app before deciding on a pleasant looking bearded chap named Peter. 

While playing doubles tennis, Charlotte gets aggressively competitive and crashes into Harry, sending him tumbling onto the floor in her quest to beat Lisa and Herbert.

Later, Charlotte remarks to Harry that she thinks that the two of them were well matched against Lisa and Herbert, and a sulky looking Harry's all, "How about an apology for knocking me over during the game?" Charlotte adamantly refuses to apologize for any roughhousing that happened during the match, then chides him for being an insufferable mansplainer at times. When Harry can't let it go and digs in about wanting an apology, which seems ridiculously out of character for this easygoing man, the two argue on the street about the contrived conflict for what seems like a really loooong time. Charlotte bellows, "You're driving me fucking crazy!" - just as she realizes that Lisa and Herbert are within hearing range and are looking over at them in bewilderment. Charlotte immediately shuts her trap, tells Harry they're now going to be known as that couple that bickers in public, and hustles him outa there.

"I demand an apology for your tennis roughhousing."

"Take your demand and shove it up your - oh shit, there's Lisa and Herbert."

While cleaning up the dishes after dinner, Miranda attempts to breathe life into her comatose marital sex life by telling Steve she's suddenly in the mood for some finger penetration. Steve perks up at that, warns that he's a little rusty after their years' long dry spell, and washes his hands. He then slips his hand inside her pants and gets busy trying to hone in on his wife's G-spot - but Miranda can't get into it and just stares despondently into space, declines his suggestion to lube herself up, and suggests they forget all about it and eat dessert.

While out for dinner, Peter tells Carrie that this is the first time he's been on a date since his wife died (of ovarian cancer), and an anguished looking Carrie says they're definitely going to need some drinks. In the next scene, the two drunkenly stagger out of the restaurant before simultaneously puking onto the street.

The next evening, the fundraising benefit at school, hosted by Lisa and Herbert, gets underway. Carrie tells Charlotte, Miranda, and Anthony that her date with Peter was a disaster...and Anthony says that on his worst date (in the seventh grade) he shit himself after eating ice cream with a girl. Carrie argues that she still wins the Worst Date Ever competition 'cause her disastrous date occurred in the wake of her husband's death. When Harry wanders over to talk to Charlotte about how to bid on stuff, Charlotte apologetically excuses herself from the group, prompting Harry to ask how she can so easily apologize to her friends but not to him...and Charlotte begs him to, OMFG please let go of this unfunny, nonsensical grudge already. No wait - that was me.

Carrie laments to Miranda that she's going to have to come clean to Amanda about not being able to find a glimmer of hope in her quest for a post-Big relationship. Miranda tells her that she just tried to revive hers and Steve's sex life with some impromptu finger banging, but has concluded that she's officially throwing in the towel on their marital relations. 

Che takes the stage at the benefit to perform their comedy schtick...and Miranda becomes so mesmerized by the sight of her digit lover that she abandons Carrie to purposefully march over to the stage.

Carrie's all, "Ack!" when she spots Peter arriving at the benefit and asks Anthony to follow him around and let her know when he's left the building.

Che spots Miranda staring over while mingling with a gaggle of fans (?), then ambles over to say hey. Miranda explains that she just ordered an Uber and chides Che for not DMing her back...and Che's all, "I get so many DMs, I must have missed yours." They tell Miranda she should have sent another DM to ask for a second finger banging if that's what she wanted, then says they'd loooooove to take her someplace private, strip off all her clothes, and go at it...and a dreamy-faced Miranda lights up and goes, "Really?"

"My fingers have been missing your cooch."

"That's the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Herbert tells Lisa he's outa here 'cause he has to get up early for a business trip, and Lisa's all, "Wha-a-a-a??" and barks at him to not dare leave her alone to finish hosting the benefit by herself. The two start arguing back and forth - just as Charlotte and Harry wander into the area looking for a bathroom. Lisa, like Charlotte after the tennis match, laments to Herbert that they're now that couple that bickers in public. This really seems like a subplot that maybe should have been left on the cutting room floor.

Herbert placates his wife by staying at the benefit to finish his hosting duties, and gets to the human auction part of the benefit, specifically "a date with sex writer Carrie Bradshaw". Carrie's all, "The fuck?" and irritably reminds Charlotte that she had agreed to a lunch, and that referring to her as a sex writer makes it sound as if she writes porn (as opposed to insipid raunch). Herbert proceeds to invite Carrie onto the stage to open up the bids at $500...and when no one seems remotely interested in shelling out that kind of money to have lunch with a sex columnist has-been, Charlotte bids $700, then bids against herself by raising the amount to $800. LOL. Carrie bids $1,000 to end the torture of waiting for more bids - but then Peter saves the day by bidding $1,050 so that the two of them can have a date do-over. 

In the next scene, Carrie thanks Peter for his bid and offers to cover the cost without him having to actually go out with her again - but Peter tells her he's somehow genuinely interested in giving date #2 a shot. 

"For our second date, let's try not to get completely wasted."

"I'd prefer more of a wait and see approach."

Che is laying atop Miranda in her bed, and Miranda is gushing about how her nether regions have never felt anything so intense in her life. The two then profess their love for one another, gigglingly agree that Che is super awesome in bed, and start smooching.

Carrie gets a text message from Peter telling her he's looking forward to their second date. She then seats herself in front of her computer to get busy writing an upbeat epilogue for her book as she voiceovers, "And just like that...I found a glimmer of hope."

Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---