Recap: Seema is showing Carrie (along with Anthony) a spacious, extremely bright downtown apartment with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the Hudson River. Carrie tells Anthony she's not sure about the prospect of living so far downtown, but he points out that this light and airy apartment could be "the new you" and assures her that she definitely won't miss the dark kitchen in her old SATC pad. Seema, meanwhile, is on the terrace talking on the phone to her father about the family's upcoming Diwali celebration...and she promises to indulge her mother and buy herself a new sari for the occasion.
Over lunch, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte she's not sure she can live so close to the water, complains that she doesn't absolutely loooove the downtown apartment, but purchased it regardless 'cause she's been dragging Seema all over the city and has concluded that the problem isn't so much the apartments she's seen than it is her chronic indecision. Miranda asks Carrie why she doesn't just continue living in her SATC apartment if she's happy there, and Carrie questions if, by staying in the same place she lived for six seasons of Sex and the City, she's living or retreating...and also doesn't want to be one of those annoying New Yorkers who boast about having lived in the same place for the last fifty years. She declares that since Big is now gone, she needs to start a new chapter of her life and move on, and Charlotte applauds that sentiment and points out that if she ends up really hating her new apartment, she can always sell it.
Later, Carrie is in her SATC pad, reading a book when she suddenly cries, "This isn't healthy!"
Rock and Lily tell Charlotte they no longer want her frilly doll collection in their bedroom, and complain that the dolls' outfits are culturally inappropriate. Rock adds that they also want to get rid of the fancy Rose mural that's painted above their bed and get a much shorter haircut, and a flustered Charlotte says they're going to have to put a pin in this discussion 'cause they're running late for school.
Miranda is in class, day dreaming about Che's finger banging, when Nya pulls her out of her reverie and invites her to grab a cup of coffee. The two stroll in a nearby park as Nya recruits her to volunteer her time for an upcoming renovation project of a women's shelter...and is showing her some photos of the project on her phone when her husband Andre calls to give her a heads up that he arranged for them to have dinner with another couple they sometimes hang out with. After the call, Nya rolls her eyes and tells Miranda that the wife of this other couple, Fertile Myrtle, always manages to find a way to interject the topic of babies into the conversation - a habit which she finds deeply annoying. Miranda points out that since she's not exactly the shy type, she should do more to control the conversation. She then asks what Fertile Myrtle's real name is, and Nya wryly tells her it's Myrtle, as in 'she was conceived in Myrtle Beach'. Har har!
Seema takes Carrie to an upscale sari shop to buy herself a new Diwali outfit...and when Carrie asks exactly what Diwali is, Seema says it's mostly an opportunity to get together with her parents so they can inquire as to why she's not yet married. She glumly adds that she'll dutifully buy herself a stunning sari and attend yet another family Diwali alone. When Carrie suggests she tag along as her plus one, Seema happily replies, "Let's get you a sari!" and assures her that a non-Indian woman such as herself wearing a sari to her family's event is less cultural appropriation than it is cultural appreciation. A relieved Carrie squeals happily and says she did just happen to spot a sari she looooooves.
Carrie brings Charlotte along to her storage unit to pick up a few necessities for her move to her sunny new downtown digs. As the two roam amid the many boxes, Charlotte suggests she only take things that "spark joy". To that end, Carrie OK's a plastic yellow lamp and a large sun hat...then mutters, "Oh shit" when she unwittingly opens a box containing Big's record collection. She immediately becomes engulfed by sadness and tells Charlotte she's not ready for this, then picks up a frying pan and says she thinks she has enough stuff to start her new life in Sunnydale.
Carrie is in her new apartment, making herself something to eat in the kitchen, when she hears an electronic beeping noise. Mystified, she looks around and checks the various appliances, but the beeping continues. A few seconds later, Anthony calls to ask her to please accompany him to a his and his face-lift consultation that he and Stanford had had planned, and explains that he needs a friend to keep him from agreeing to do anything beyond getting his face back to "hot, slightly older guy".
Nya and her husband Andre are out to dinner with Myrtle and her husband...and Nya works overtime cutting off Myrtle every time she opens her mouth. She's forced to throw in the towel when Myrtle declines a Mohito and happily announces that she's pregnant with her third child. She clucks sympathetically at Nya and Andre and condescendingly asks them how their barren existence is going, and they tell her that, "We just doing our thing" ... but then Nya remarks on about how expensive IVF treatments are and that they're very hard on her body. Myrtle's husband stares blankly at them and cluelessly rejoins, "A couple like you...you gotta have babies."
Miranda is laying in her bed, pleasuring herself, when Brady knocks on her bedroom door. Near orgasm, she sings, "I'll be right ouuuuuut!" - and a perplexed Brady says he just wanted to let her know he's going out to meet up with Luisa. Nya and Andre, meanwhile, are enjoying vigorous sex...and after climaxing, the two enjoy some post coitus canoodling and chuckle about the way Nya kept cutting Myrtle off 'cause of how fed up she is about talking about babies.
Carrie is laying in her bed with her sunglasses on 'cause of how insanely bright and sunny her new apartment is. I wonder if it's occurred to her that she can have window blinds installed. As the electronic beeping noise continues, she cries, "This isn't working!"
At the his and his face-lift consultation, Dr. Paul David assumes that Carrie's the one who wants her face re-worked. When she points to Anthony as the consultee du jour, he apologizes about the mix-up, gives Anthony a quick once over, and says that aside from a shot of botox, his handsome face really doesn't require any work. Carrie says that, since she's here she'd like to have her horsey mug professionally assessed after all...and he wanks her about looking a little tired but otherwise beautiful and fake estimates her age at 48 or 49. After that, he takes a 3D image of her face and offers her several after simulations that reflect a wide range of options: botox, laser work, a full face and neck lift. He says that a total face redo could potentially erase the last fifteen years...and Carrie looks intrigued by the prospect and asks, "How much?"
While gathered around a picnic table in the park, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte about maybe getting a face lift. Miranda says she's irked at Dr. David for even encouraging her to get plastic surgery and thereby perpetuating the notion that women aren't allowed to age - while Charlotte argues that botox and "a little filler" are not the end of world. When Carrie tells them to shut it, Miranda announces that she's replaced her daily booze guzzling with obsessive masturbation...and when Charlotte asks who she fantasizes about, she comes right out and says Che. Charlotte says she totally gets that, given Che's coolness and charisma (um, seriously?), and admits that she herself had a vague, borderline-sexual fantasy about Che that involved a ferry. Miranda cautions Charlotte to not have a freakout at what she's about to say, then reveals that Che recently finger banged her in Carrie's kitchen while they both thought Carrie was asleep. When a stunned Charlotte's all, "Wha-a-a-a-a??!!" and stares at Carrie accusingly for not dishing about this with her, Miranda says that she and Carrie have already had a fight about it and are fine now. Carrie argues that she's not actually fine about it...and as Miranda scrunches her face confusedly at that declaration, Charlotte derisively asks, "Are you gay now?", and points out that she's spent her life sleeping with men, got married to a man, and is abruptly abandoning her hetero lifestyle to pursue a non-binary affair. Miranda dreamily says that the finger banging was the most alive she's felt in years, and that "everything about them made me feel alive". Charlotte's all, "Them?! There are others??" - LOL - so Carrie explains that by them, Miranda is referencing Che's non-binary pronoun. A bewildered Charlotte blurts out, "You are not progressive enough for this!!" and says that if she's going through a mid-life crisis, the more appropriate course of action would be to color the grey out of her hair. Miranda snarls, "I don't have to take this shit" and gets up and starts storming off, prompting Carrie to rush after her and point out that this reboot can't afford to lose a second member of SATC's original foursome, and that she's allowed to disagree with Charlotte but definitely not leave. Miranda chews on that for a few seconds and returns to the picnic table, where a now contrite Charlotte apologizes for her bitchy outburst and says that she merely wants to better understand this contrived story arc. Miranda wryly says she'll be happy to explain it to her once she fully understands her sudden bi-sexual metamorphosis, and a tortured Charlotte asks why they all can't stay exactly the way they were during the six year run of SATC. Carrie sadly retorts that some of them don't have that luxury.
Carrie is dressed and primped for Diwali, and has a small sea of fluffy red carnations woven into her old lady braid hairdo. She flounces down the front steps of her building and climbs into the back of Seema's car.
Seema's parents look delighted that their daughter has brought a friend to Dawali and ask Carrie whassup with Dennis, aka Seema's fictional boyfriend who's conveniently never around 'cause he fake works for Doctors Without Borders. They worriedly ask if Seema is embarrassed to introduce him to her family or vice versa, and Carrie assures them that that couldn't be further from the truth, and that while Dennis is handsome and awesome, it's hard to find a man who's anywhere near good enough for their spectacular daughter. Seema ambles over to ask what they're talking about, so Carrie tells her she's let her parents know that the jig is up about how much better she can do than her made up boyfriend, Dennis.
Later, in the back of the car, Seema explains to Carrie that it's easier for all concerned for her to tell her parents she has a boyfriend than to constantly have to explain why she's single. She says she's mostly happy with her life - but other times feels like it's wishful thinking 'cause of how much happier she'd be if she had a life partner. Carrie swiftly changes the topic to her sunny new apartment and says she haaaates it, and Seema says they'll sell it 'cause it's important for her to love where she lives. She then gives Carrie a bracelet that, in accordance with Hindu custom, is a reminder of one's strength.
Later, Carrie stares at her tired looking mug in the mirror and puts on her Carrie necklace, narrating "And just like that...I remembered how much I loved the last fifteen years." She then puts on a record from Big's collection...and while Johnny Nash's I Can See Clearly Now plays, Carrie unpacks a box of Big's suits, stares at them wistfully for several seconds, and selects a black blazer. While that's happening, Charlotte is packing up her cherished doll collection from her daughters' bedroom, noticing that Rock has taped a poster over the painted Rose mural. As she smiles approvingly, Miranda texts Che and says she's totes up for another finger banging sometime soon...while Carrie goes out for the evening wearing a fancy red dress with Big's black blazer draped across her shoulders.
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