Recap: Heidi emerges from the bathroom and tells Lauren how nauseous and dizzy she's been feeling lately, and that these symptoms led her to the worrisome conclusion that she might be in a family way. She adds that she just took a pregnancy test - but wants to continue to keep viewers in suspense until she reveals the results directly to Spencer during the first of their many in-car tête-à-têtes.
Later, Heidi calls Spencer from her workstation and asks him to meet her in the back alley behind Bolthouse 'cause there's something super important they need to discuss.
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love summons Lauren and Whitney to her office to inform them about tomorrow's assignment: behind-the-scenes scutwork for designer Ashley Paige in preparation for her bikini fashion show. Whitney says she has class tomorrow but will rush over to the studio asap, so Lisa turns her attention to Lauren and emphasizes how crucially important it is to the very foundation of Teen Vogue that she not piss off Ashley Paige and obediently carry out whatever menial shit is asked of her.
When Spencer rolls up in his black BMW, Heidi climbs into the passenger seat with her most serious face on and explains that she's been feeling sick and nauseous for the last few days. After a pregnant pause (hee!), during which a grinning Spencer just stares at her with a 'yeah, and..?' expression, Heidi natters that she's unsure exactly how he feels about her other than her assumption, "I get that you like me, whatever", and Spencer interjects and says he more than just likes her - waaaaay more, in fact - but won't tell her what she should do with her body and that he'll go "either way with this". Heidi reveals that she took a pregnancy test...then pauses...for maximum...dramatic effect...before the anti-climactic revelation: "I'm not pregnant." Spencer tells her he's kinda irked about how hard she worked just now to give him the impression she was pregnant in order to gauge his reaction to the startling news. Heidi explains that her faux pregnancy scare made her ponder the seriousness of their unholy coupling, and Spencer assures her she can stop being jealous of Audrina, who he insists he never tried to hook up with and describes as "out of her mind". Heidi half-heartedly chides, "I'm so mad at you still!", but otherwise seems satisfied with his 'I waaaaay more than just like you' declaration and promises to call him later.
The next day, Heidi tells Lauren she gave Brody Jenner her phone number and says it'd be cool if the two of them hooked up, given that he's Spencer's BFF...which, under any other circumstance, would mostly serve as a deterrent. Lauren's all, "Ewww! He's been tainted by Kristin [Cavallari]!", but Heidi's like, "Yeah, whatever. Just answer your cell when he calls you."
Lauren arrives at the Ashley Paige Store, where two models are slumped across a couch in anticipation of the fashion show. Amid Ashley's vocal bitchery about the general uselessness of interns, Lauren is immediately put to work answering phones and digging through a jar of wax to find the wick of what Ashley calls a special "green money" candle. She's impressed when Lauren manages to find and light the wick and happily pronounces, "You can stay", then assigns her the task of sewing flower petals on the top of a black parasol.
Spencer phones Audrina...and when she answers (for whatever God-only-knows-why reason) he mumbles in his weird sing-songy way, "Well look who it is, my favorite person in the world" and invites her out to dinner. Audrina declines, says she's not interested in giving any more oxygen to the contrived feud between herself and Heidi, and abruptly hangs up. Bwahahaha! She definitely seems of sound mind to me.
The Ashley Paige crew has transported itself to the fashion show venue, where the models are backstage, getting their hair and makeup done. Whitney arrives and immediately jumps in to help Lauren et. al. get the models in show order...and during that chaos, Lauren gets a call from Brody. She tells him she's going to have to put a pin in their conversation 'cause right now things are too frantic at Model Central. The bikini fashion show gets underway, appears to run smoothly, and afterwards Ashley gushes to Lauren how thrilled she is with her help and jokingly (?) asks if she can steal her away from Lisa Love.
Later at Hillside Villas, Heidi notices that Brody is calling Lauren's cell, so she answers, "Heidi's dating service" ... and Brody chortles about how hilarious he finds that. Heidi hands the phone to Lauren, who apologizes for having to cut their earlier conversation short and accepts his dinner invitation for tomorrow night.
Lisa Love thanks Lauren for her assistance to Ashley Paige and says she was reportedly very helpful. She surmises that one of Lauren's strengths in the fashion world seems to be responding to orders that get barked at her by crotchety designers...and Lauren pretends that she loved every minute of answering the phone, digging through candle wax, and helping arrange the bikini models in proper runway order.
Lauren is in her Hillside Villas bathroom, primping for her date with Brody and telling Heidi that, fingers crossed, at worst the evening will be a harmless dinner outing.
Lauren and Brody arrive at a restaurant named Social, and he waxes on about how amaaaaazing she looks, repeatedly (to the point of creepishness) compliments her pretty smile, and thanks her for being the hottest arm candy of all the arm candy inside the restaurant.
After dinner, Brody drives Lauren home, carries on ad fucking nauseum about her smile again, then bids her goodnight with a hug. Lauren thanks him for paying the dinner check, promises to give him a call, and scampers into Hillside Villas while he drives off.
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Recap: Lauren arrives in front of Jason's place to drop off his golf clubs and various other belongings...and he's all, "Hurray! My golf clubs!", while a tearful Lauren informs him that since they're now Splitsville she can't be "a normal buddy" to him and would prefer they didn't see each other in Season 2. Jason scrunches his face confusedly and says he really doesn't get why breaking up means they can't hang out anymore, so Lauren explains to the dolt that right now it's too difficult for her to stomach the sight of him. He hugs her and assures her it's A-OK, and then she climbs into her Mercedes convertible and speeds off.
Over at Bolthouse Productions, Brent announces to the staff that the new nightclub Area is having an grand opening that will feature a red carpet and lots of media. He assigns Heidi to be the evening's hostess, reminds everyone that they all have a lot of work to do, and good-naturedly snarls, "So don't bug me."
Audrina, who's now a receptionist at Epic Records instead of Quixote Studios, calls Heidi's cell phone, but Heidi makes a face at the incoming call and lets it go to voicemail. Audrina leaves a message that's something along the lines of, "I dunno if you're mad at me, but if you're not, like, super mad call me back."
Lauren and Whitney reunite in the Teen Vogue closet office, where Whitney describes her summer in Paris as insane and pretends to have immersed herself in runway couture dresses while working on a high profile French photo shoot. Lauren glumly says that she and Jason didn't live at the beach house for very long 'cause they fought constantly and eventually broke up. As Whitney clucks sympathetically, the two are summoned to Lisa Love's office for her first passive-aggressive smackdown of the season.
Lisa welcomes the two back to Teen Vogue and asks how the summer went, so Whitney waxes on about how amazingk Paris was, and how she was able to experience the joy that was visiting Coco Chanel's apartment. Lisa lays it on thick about what a great opportunity it was for her to go to Paris and asks her if she'd be up for pretending to spend another summer there...and Whitney eagerly chirps, "Yes!" while Lauren stares over at her despondently. Lisa remarks on how "Lauren will always be known as the girl who didn't go to Paris" and asks her if she regrets that decision. As a miserable looking Lauren shrugs as if to say 'yeah, but whaddya gonna do?', Lisa piles on further and bitchily asks if spending the summer with her boyfriend worked out for her...and Lauren refrains from bitchily retorting that she's a grown woman who gets to decline a faux internship in Paris if she wants to, and just mutely shakes her head.
Later at Hillside Villas, Lauren commiserates to Heidi about her shitty day, and how she's soooooo over getting shit from Lisa for opting to spend her summer with Jason. Heidi coos, "Every day it'll get a little easier", and Lauren cries about how she cried every day when she and Jason were fighting, and continues to cry 'cause she's somehow sad he's not in her life anymore. Heidi comforts her by nonsensically pronouncing, "The best part of Jason was you", then tells her that soooooo many guys are totes interested in going out with her. Lauren complains that she hates being single and grumbles, "I'm not good at it."
Heidi is out to dinner at Don Antonio's with her new beau and Chucky doll lookalike, Spencer Pratt. She gabbles about how Bolthouse is running the grand opening of Area and gushes about how her faux job as a nightclub hostess is soooooo fun. Spencer asks her if Audrina is expected to show up at Area, and Heidi makes an ew face and says that everyone she works with hates Audrina - no doubt due to her jealousy-fueled trash-talking - and that, word on the street, is that she (Audrina) and Spencer have been spotted hanging out together. She comes right out and asks Spencer if Audrina has ever hit on him, and he admits that he's only ever gotten "a friend vibe" from her, weakly denies spending time with the brunette hottie, and complains about the general nuttiness of some people in L.A. He then shifts gears and tells Heidi how happy he is to be chowing down on Mexican food with her...and after dinner, the two head over to his place, where she happily agrees to spend the night. Blech.
Heidi returns to Hillside Villas the next morning and gleefully reports to Lauren that Spencer is getting more and more affectionate towards her, and Lauren teasingly cackles, "Spencer loooooves you."
Spencer surprises Audrina at Pinkberry with three roses, and the two sit down and discuss the contrived drama that is Heidi's anger about their non-hook-up. Audrina says she's tried to convince Heidi that she'd sooner jump off a cliff then do the nasty with a repugnant life-sized Chucky doll - but she refuses to listen to reason...as does Lauren 'cause the two are such inseparable BFFs. A befuddled Spencer shakes his head in faux bewilderment at the notion of anyone not liking her, then decides 'why not continue to fuel the bad blood between Heidi and Audrina that I'm largely responsible for instigating?' and invites Audrina to have dinner with him at Don Antonio's before making a grand, dramatic entrance at the opening of Area.
Area opening! Heidi is "working" the front door with her Bolthouse gal pals while Lauren and her friend Jen Bunney sit inside the nightclub and ogle the dreamy Brody Jenner. Spencer arrives, followed closely by Audrina walking alongside an unnamed friend, and rolls his eyes at Heidi while contorting his face as if to say 'I have no earthly idea how or why I'm arriving at this club with Audrina!' An irked Heidi gives Spencer a hello hug, coldly ignores Audrina, and glares after the two as they enter Area. She then complainingly asks her co-worker Kristen, "Why can't she get her own friends?", and Kristen nonsensically agrees that sometimes "the girls are worse than the guys", while Spencer - who pretends to be deeply befuddled about the drama unfolding in real time that is entirely of his [and The Hills producers'] own making - tells Audrina he had no idea that Heidi openly hated her.
Heidi scampers inside Area to tell Lauren that Spencer just arrived with Audrina, to which Lauren shrieks, "Nooooooo!!" ... and across the club, Spencer is standing behind Audrina while chortling about how he's hiding from Heidi. Jen Bunney snorts in disgust and sneers, "That girl, she has balls, dude", while Spencer denies to Heidi that he came to Area with Audrina, despite the MTV crew filming him making plans with Audrina to arrive at Area together and then arriving at Area together. Heidi breezily replies that it's none of her business who he clubs with, then wanders over to Lauren's table to moan, "My life sucks right now." Audrina tells Spencer she's given up on being friends with Heidi, and he massages her shoulder and calls her "too sweet" while she squirms away and looks visibly icked out by his touch.
Heidi returns to her post at the front door and tells Kristen she's dismayed by the nerve of Audrina to arrive at Area with Spencer, who somehow gets a free pass for his brazenly douchebaggish mindfuckery. Kristen wanks Heidi by calling her "a good girl", and that man-stealing skanks like Audrina "are not worth it".
The next day at Bolthouse Productions, Elodie asks Heidi how the boy situation is going, so Heidi dishes about how Spencer showed up at Area with Audrina while she was working the front door. Elodie's all, "Shut up!" ... and Heidi grimaces, says it sucks 'cause she was starting to fall for him, and announces that she's going home early 'cause she's been experiencing various symptoms that suggest she might possibly be carrying Chucky's demon spawn.
At Epic Records, Audrina tells her co-worker and friend Chiara about her night at Area, specifically that Spencer was annoyingly grab-handsy with her on the dance floor. She calls him piggish, describes the show's contrived lust-triangle as "a huge ordeal" and soooo stupid. That it is, Audrina. That it is.
Heidi stops by the drug store on her way home to pick up a pregnancy test. When she arrives at Hillside Villas, she goes straight up to the bathroom and stares at herself worriedly in the mirror as she summons the courage to pee on a stick.
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Recap: Lauren and Jason arrive at a gorgeous beach house in Malibu, which Jason calls "a killer summer rental" and suggests they rent it for the next few months 'cause of how great things have been between them lately. Lauren says she definitely likes the sound of that idea and shoots him a happy smile.
Lisa Love summons Lauren and Whitney to her office to hand out this episode's L.A. Fashion Week assignments: Whitney will help set up for an after-party at the Roosevelt Hotel, while Lauren will be in charge of getting tickets to the Jennifer Nicholson show for various Teen Vogue editors...and for maximum drama she'll let her know who these editors are at the last minute instead of just making a quick call herself to secure the tickets in advance. Lisa adds that Amy Astley (Teen Vogue's New York editor-in-chief) will be in L.A. for fashion week and that she really really wants everything to run as smoothly as possible while she's in town.
Over at Bolthouse Productions, Brent tells Heidi he has extra tickets to the Jennifer Nicholson fashion show and asks if she'd like to go, and she's like, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and immediately gets on the horn with Elodie to share the exciting news. Elodie squeals, "Awesome!" and Heidi stares dreamily into space and smugly declares, "Life in Hollywood is soooooo good."
Lauren heads over to the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel to meet up with Lisa Love and Amy Astley. Lisa tells her they're going to need two additional tickets for the Jennifer Nicholson show and instructs her to get them from Nicholson's crusty publicist, Kelly Cutrone. Lauren retreats to her town car and calls Whitney to complain that Lisa has asked her to get two more tickets to a fashion show that's sold out...and Whitney's all, "Say wha-a-a-a?" and agrees that it's "kind of like a really big request".
Lauren arrives at Smashbox Studios, the venue for the Jennifer Nicholson show. She locates Kelly Cutrone and tells her that Lisa Love is requesting two additional tickets, and an irked Kelly says that while she loves Lisa, the request is "a little eleventh hour". She then presses Lauren on specifically which Vogue editors need these tickets, and Lauren's like, "Dunno" and says that Lisa never gave her that info...and Kelly rolls her eyes and asks her to miserably stand around until she can get around to dealing with this contrived drama. A few seconds later, Lauren spots Heidi and Audrina making their entrance and looks momentarily miffed when she assumes that they're crashing another of her work things - but Heidi quickly explains that Brent gave her a couple of tickets to the show, then asks her why she looks so stressed. Lauren's on the verge of tears as she explains that Kelly Cutrone snappishly told her she won't hand over any tickets unless she can supply the names of the editors who need them...and naturally Lisa isn't answering her phone right now. She complains, "This is not fun", and Heidi clucks sympathetically and offers to help see her through this fashion show conundrum.
When Lauren finally gets Lisa on the phone, she gets the names of the two Vogue editors needing tickets: Hamish and Bowles (which Kelly dryly points out is actually one person named Hamish Bowles) ... and Lawren Howell. With that resolved, Lisa Love arrives at the Jennifer Nicholson show with her editor pals and thanks Lauren for securing the tickets.
The next day, Blaine pops into the Teen Vogue closet office to tell Lauren that Lisa wants to see her asap. Lauren immediately looks worried as Whitney recalls that the last time she was summoned by Lisa was when she was about to get into trouble for letting her drunk friends crash the Young Hollywood party. She then chuckles and assures Lauren she's fine and has done nothing wrongk.
Lisa wanks Lauren about what a great job she's done this season as an intern, then informs her that she's been nominated for an internship in Paris this summer. Lauren raises her eyebrows and asks, "For this summer?" and Lisa ignores the alarmed look on her face and waxes on about how Paris is the most important city in the world fashion-wise, and that she'd get to experience the joys of Couture Week. Lisa says she'll need an answer pretty quickly, then dreamily adds that if she does decide to go to Paris she probably won't want to come back.
Lauren returns to the closet office and tells Whitney about the Paris offer, and Whitney's all, "OMG! You gotta do it, right?" Lauren's like, "Wrong. I have plans with Jason all summer", to which Whitney retorts, "But this is Paris." Lauren moans about how she really doesn't want to be away from L.A. all summer, and Whitney eagerly says she'd be more than happy to fill in if Lauren turns the internship down. The two then wrap up work for the day, head down to the lobby of the building, and hug goodbye until they reunite in Season 2.
At Hillside Villas, Lauren tells Heidi about the Paris internship...and Heidi exclaims, "OMG! That's huge!" and asks if she's going, and Lauren shrugs and says she already had plans to spend the summer with Jason at the Malibu beach house. She says that after the toxic rollercoaster that has been their relationship for most of Season 1, they're finally in a good place, and that it'd really suck for her to have to leave him now.
Lauren arrives at the Malibu beach house, where Jason is sitting on the living room floor with earbuds on. She kisses him hello and listens to him excitedly natter about all the stuff he wants to bring to the house to ensure that their summer is awesome. When he finally notices the grim expression on her face, he asks whassup, so she breaks the news that her Teen Vogue boss offered her a summer internship in Paris. Jason looks less than thrilled by the possible wrench in their plans and asks her if she's going, and she shrugs and is all, "Dunno", then adds that Paris isn't something one says no to. Jason half-heartedly says he'll support whatever decision she makes, then gives her a reassuring canoodle.
Heidi and Audrina are lounging by the pool, looking at their phones and giggling about wanting to meet a crop of new guys. Heidi jokes about how she'd like to revert back to her behavior in preschool: having a new boyfriend every five minutes. She then chuckles about how over Jordan she is and that she wants to go clubbing every night this summer and meet lots of new guys.
Lauren is packing up her large pink suitcase while a sad looking Heidi watches and offers to help. Lauren finishes the task and hugs Heidi goodbye as the two exchange I love yous, and they agree that they're looking forward to being BFFs and roommates again in Season 2.
Lisa Love is at Los Angeles International airport, fiddling with her phone and glancing around as if she's waiting for someone. Lauren, meanwhile, arrives at the Malibu beach house and joins Jason on the balcony, where he's staring dreamily into space. Whitney (!) arrives at the airport, greets Lisa, and the two pretend to head inside to check in for their pretend flight to Paris. Back in Malibu, Lauren and Jason are on the balcony smooching, watching the sunset, and cooing about how they're going to have the best summer ever.
And that's a wrap for Season 1!
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Recap: Heidi tells Audrina that the honeymoon with Jordan is over now that they've been a couple for nearly eight months. Audrina scrunches her face in puzzlement and says she always thought they were soooo perfect together - but Heidi says they've been bickering more than usual, and that he snaps at her a lot and seems oddly jealous/angry about her having a job at Bolthouse. She declares that she's on the verge of a turning point, but isn't yet sure in which direction she wants to go.
Heidi's on her cell with Jordan when she arrives at Audrina's apartment. She pleads with him to not cuss at her...and after she hangs up, she recounts to Audrina the way he yelled and cursed at her 'cause she couldn't pick him up from somewhere, then wails, "I don't know what to doooooo!!" She tearfully tells Audrina that his constant yelling at her is breaking her down and that she wants to be with someone who loves her...and Audrina stares back at her with her cold, dead eyes and agrees that it's probably not OK for Jordan to be treating her like a bag of shit.
Over in the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney about the lovely candlelit birthday dinner Jason arranged for her during the previous episode, and Whitney says she's always impressed when young guys know precisely how to woo their ladies.
When Jordan arrives at the apartment, Heidi's like, "Jordan, we need to talk" and tells him that his snappishness is really hurting her feelings. Jordan reacts by ignoring the 'we need to talk' alarm bell and slouches on the couch with his eyes glazed over, mumbling about how he has zero desire to reconstruct the kind of rude fuckbag he's grown into. He tells her to simply regard his snappishness as passion, then chides her for always wanting to be treated like a princess. Heidi's like, "Well d'yuh", says that every girl deserves to be treated like a princess, and points out that she always treats him like a prince. Jordan shrugs disinterestedly and breezily retorts, "That's just the way I am", then gets up and announces that he's going for a run. Heidi heads toward her bedroom and snarls, "See you tomorrow", and Jordan's all, "Tomorrow..?", makes his irritation known with a pfuuuuu sound, and dismissively growls, "Shut up" before leaving. Yeesh. It's a miracle he's held on as long as he has during this relationship's post-honeymoon phase.
At an outdoor cafe, Jason tells Lauren he'd like them to live together in a beach house all summer, and Lauren perks up at that idea, orders him to kiss her, and the two depart the cafe, their arms locked around each other.
In a nearby park, Jordan tells Brian about his argument with Heidi and says he's pretty sure there has to be more to what's irking her than the douchebaggish way he's been barking at her. Brian concurs and complains about how women always expect their men to know exactly why they're mad, then assures him that all will be well with Heidi. He suggests showing up at Bolthouse wearing a suit and tie and carrying flowers just when Heidi's done with work for the day and gallantly offer to take her out to dinner - but a disinterested Jordan's all, "Meh. I don't know if I want to do that." LOL.
Over dinner at Cafe Sushi, Heidi is complaining to Lauren about how shittily Jordan has been treating her lately. Lauren advises her to seriously ponder whether or not this relationship is working and assures her that, whatever she decides, she and Jason will be there for her [prior to their inevitable breakup, I guess]. Heidi says that Jordan's verbal abuse could be the easy out she's been looking for, but then another part of her worries that she'll really miss him...and she moans, "And I don't know the difference. I don't know what I think." Lauren points out that naturally she'll miss Jordan in the short term, then decrees: "Love is not a maybe thing." Heidi mulls over that pearl of wisdom for a few seconds, then reveals that while she loves Jordan, she's definitely not in love with him.
Breakup Day! It's a suitably rainy day when a subdued looking Jordan arrives at Hillside Villas and looks aghast at the sight of his stuff packed up in boxes and piled in the living room. He enters Heidi's bedroom, where Heidi is finishing a call to her mom...and then the two sit atop her bed, where she stares at him tearfully and whimpers, "I can't do this anymore." He says he can't either, acknowledges how badly he screwed the pooch on this relationship, and tearfully declares his love for her. He says he can't imagine his life without her, and she says that while she loves him, they tend to bring out the worst in each other. Jordan stares at her beseechingly and moans, "I can't liiiiiive without you..", but she firmly shakes her head and flatly says, "I'm done." She gives him back his apartment key, and he dejectedly shuffles out of her bedroom, then out of the apartment [leaving behind his many boxes]. Heidi then wanders over to the living room couch, where Lauren has been silently witnessing the aftermath of Jordan's humiliating heave-ho, and the two girls hug before Heidi wearily says she's going to take a nap with her tiny dog Bella.
A shell-shocked Jordan returns to Casa Neanderthal to report to Jason and Brian that Heidi just gave him the boot, then stares cluelessly into space and says it feels like the breakup came out of nowhere. Brian stares back at him in stunned bewilderment and says he always thought they were the perfect couple - like Ken and Barbie - while a mystified Jason says he figured that he and Lauren would be "way done" before them. [Yep, I'd kind of been assuming that too.] Jordan wistfully says he always thought of himself and Heidi as the perfect couple, and that people often commented on how in love they seemed.
In the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney that her apartment is really depressing right now 'cause Heidi and Jordan just broke up. Whitney's all, "Oooh nooo!" and says she should probably call Heidi to offer her some comfort and support. Lauren says she has no idea if Heidi's planning to stay in the apartment all summer, then changes the subject and says that Jason proposed that the two of them move into a Malibu beach house together for the next few months.
Heidi drops by Quixote Studios to tearfully tell Audrina she plans "to be careful with my heart" while getting over Jordan. Audrina agrees it'll be hard for awhile, then remarks on how she's never seen her function as a single gal. Heidi grins and suggests they go clubbing tonight so she can officially begin the start of her new single life.
Recap: The four Hills gals are out on the town together when they enter a boutique and try on fancy dresses. For some reason Lauren thinks it'd be fun to try on a bridal gown, and the other three cackle about the horror of her ever seriously agreeing to marry a douchewad like Jason.
After the opening credits, Lisa Love informs Lauren and Whitney that in this episode they'll be helping at a casting for a swimsuit photoshoot. She asks them to hit the ground running by calling casting agencies and going on various beefcake modelling websites to find as many photos of buff young bucks aged 17-20 who are pleasing to look at while near naked. As Whitney giggles with delight at the tasty assignment, Lisa shoots her the stink-eye and snappishly warns her and Lauren to "behave accordingly".
Brent summons Heidi to his office to inform her that tonight Bolthouse is hosting a William Morris Grammy party at LAX and that she'll be "working" the front door. He gives her the green light to liven up the party by inviting her Hills castmates [and by extension the MTV camera crew] ... and as Heidi beams happily, he tells her he wants a full report tomorrow.
Over in the Teen Vogue closet office, Blaine tells Lauren and Whitney that the swimsuit photoshoot will take place at Quixote Studios, aka Audrina's workplace. The two then stare at the same computer screen as they gigglingly scout prospective male models.
Grammy party! Lauren and Jason arrive at LAX and are greeted by Heidi before being let into the nightclub, where they connect with Jordan and Audrina. Lauren tells Jason about her latest Teen Vogue task: helping out at a swimsuit shoot at Quixote Studios. Jason furrows his brows concernedly and asks, "What kind of models?", and Lauren fibs when she replies that she's only been looking into girl swimsuit models. Jason asks if there's also going to be dudes there, and Lauren insists that she's only been focused on girl models...and Jason shoots her a cold stare and says, "I was just asking."
At the apartment, Heidi complains to Lauren that she hasn't been getting any sleep lately, which isn't surprising given that her work schedule consists of her being at the office from 9am-6pm, then being stationed at a nightclub door until 2am. Lauren says she told Jason that the upcoming photoshoot she's helping out with only features girl models and neglected to mention that it's mostly aimed at buff young bucks parading around in swimsuits. Heidi chuckles and warns, "He's going to get mad at you" ... and Lauren rolls her eyes and retorts, "What the fuck else is new?" (Sorry, no. That was my reaction.)
Audrina greets Lauren and Whitney when they arrive at Quixote Studios for the shoot, then shows them to their stage...and soon after that, Blaine and a Teen Vogue stylist arrive, and the casting process gets underway. Lauren takes Polaroid shots of a wide variety of shirtless young men while a more-giggly-than-usual Whitney ogles their muscular, hairless chests. Audrina becomes smitten with one of the models, Brad, and tells him that she and the other Hills gals will be hanging out at Bella Restaurant this evening and invites him to stop by, and he says he's definitely interested in doing that.
Later, at Bella Restaurant, Audrina, Lauren, and Whitney are gushingly telling Heidi about the hotness of all the male models they got to salivate over all day. Audrina glances across the room and notices Brad sitting at a table with another guy, so she makes a beeline over to give him a hello hug and invite him and his friend to join her table. When everyone's been introduced and seated together, Brad asks Audrina where they're going after this, and Audrina says in her usual 'I-can't-control-my-lips-from-constantly-smiling' fashion, "We'll see."
Over at Casa Neanderthal, Brian complainingly remarks to Jordan and Jason (whose hair is looking more porcupine-esque by the episode) that Audrina is always going out on dates with random guys. Jordan's like, "Uh, speaking of random guys.." and spills the beans on the Teen Vogue casting at Quixote that mostly featured buff young bucks in swimsuits - and Jason's all, "Say wuh?!", stares sullenly into space for a few seconds, then gets up and bitchily stalks out of the room.
While doing laundry, Jordan tells Heidi he thinks that Lauren fibbing to Jason about guys being at a swimsuit casting is "retarded". He adds that he thinks Jason and Lauren are too immature and insecure to even be in a relationship...and says this as if he himself didn't completely blow a gasket after encountering Heidi's ex-date Josh in the Boyfriends and Work Don't Mix episode. Heidi suggests that maybe Lauren and Jason are stuck in their toxic relationship, and Jordan says he can't comprehend that notion - despite the daily toxicity that is his and Heidi's shitty relationship.
Heidi tells Audrina that when Jordan blabbed to Jason about the Quixote photoshoot, Jason got really mad. Audrina's all, "Ooooh noooo!" and the two agree that they hope Jason won't be a total dickwad to Lauren on her birthday.
Lauren is in her car, en route to somewhere with Whitney, when Jason texts her about how he knows the truth about the photoshoot...and then a few seconds later, he calls her so he can verbally accuse her of being a liar. Lauren wearily says she has zero desire to argue with him about something this inane, and Jason pretends he couldn't care less about guys being at her photoshoot, and says he's mostly irked that she lied to him about it. He then declares, "I love you", and Lauren stares at her phone in puzzlement and tells Whitney that, shocking as it may sound, Jason is letting this latest perceived transgression roll off his back.
Later at the apartment, Lauren receives a flower bouquet from Jason and a note that reads 'Be ready at 5pm, pack a bag for school'.
Lauren arrives at the Standard Hotel and Jason ushers her to a swanky suite, where a candlelit dinner awaits them. Lauren thanks Jason with a hug before the two seat themselves at the table and start chowing down. He asks her what she'd like to do for the rest of the evening, and she replies that she'd like to hang out at the hotel and enjoy all that the suite has to offer. Jason mumbles that Brian is doing some club thing and that they could always meet up with Jordan and Heidi - but Lauren remains firm on wanting to stay in. Jason mutters, "What's that?" as he faux-confusedly wonders if 'I want to stay in' could possibly be translated to mean 'let's meet up with our castmates at a nightclub', and a vexed Lauren firmly repeats, "I. Would. Rather. Stay. Here."
When Jason asks what exactly 'staying in for the evening' entails, Lauren scrunches her face into a hurt expression and asks, "Can't you just be with me?" Jason unconvincingly says, "I can" ... and in the next scene, the two are laying atop the bed together with him looking visibly irked while she stares back at him with a look of grimaced concern.
Recap: Lauren enlists Jordan to help her pick out dog tags to give to Jason as his Christmas present. [Interesting. I had no idea dog tags were ever a fashion accessory or something non-military people would contemplate wearing.] The two select a diamond-encrusted pair, and Lauren arranges to have them engraved with Jason's personal info.
Lauren, Heidi, Jason, and Jordan buy a Christmas tree and haul it back to Hillside Villas so they can begin decorating the apartment for the holidays. As Lauren and Jason string the lights, Heidi remarks that in her family someone always had to cry at Christmas...and when everyone else is all, "Say wuh?", she clarifies, without a shred of embarrassment or self-deprecation, that she was always the person who would cry 'cause she never got the gift she wanted.
The next day, Lauren and Heidi stop in at an eat-in bakery to discuss the holidays. Heidi assures Lauren that Jason is going to looooove his diamond-encrusted dog tags, then says she has high hopes that Jordan will get her a puppy for Christmas. Lauren scrunches her face disapprovingly and says that Jordan may not do that 'cause she's somehow confident he's not so stupid he doesn't realize that it's a really bad idea to get someone as irresponsible as she is a live animal to take care of.
Lauren, Heidi, Jason, and Jordan spend the evening strolling around the Grove, and each couple is holding hands and canoodling as they stand on a small bridge, look down at the water below, and chuckle delightedly when fake snow is suddenly blown in their direction. After that Hallmark movie sequence, the four return to Hillside Villas to open their gifts. Jason is thrilled with his diamond-encrusted dog tags...as is Jordan with whatever chunky jewelry thing Heidi bought him. Lauren gets a black designer purse, for which she gives Jason a thank you smooch, and Heidi pretends to love the stuffed dog that Jordan got her. As she quietly sulks, Jordan sneaks out of the apartment and returns carrying a red box...and when he presents it to Heidi, she discovers a tiny, sweet puppy inside. She bursts into happy tears of joy, thanks Jordan, and announces that she's naming her new pet Bella. Run, Bella! Run!
Lauren and Heidi are getting their hair done at a swanky salon when Lauren gets a pissy text from Jason about some guy named David that she used to like and recently got a call from.
Over at a gym, Jason and Jordan are lifting weights...and Jason grumbles about how pissed off he is at Lauren for answering the phone when David called her. He then calls Lauren to bitch at her directly for talking to David on the phone, so she explains that she hadn't talked to the guy in months and merely answered her cell when he happened to dial her number. Jason's like 'whatever' and hangs up on her, and a mystified Lauren tells Heidi and their two stylists [who seem extremely eager to hear any inside Hills gossip] that her idiot boyfriend gets mad about the dumbest things.
Lauren, Heidi, Jason, and Jordan arrive at the Lobby Nightclub to kick off their New Year's partying. Jason gets all kissy with Lauren and mumbles incoherently - hence the subtitles that suddenly appear on the screen - about how she'll soon learn about them being just close friends...and when she's all, "Huh?", he says that after they enjoy a rocking' New Year's Eve, things between them likely won't end well. As she stares back at him in puzzlement, he back pedals on everything he just said and declares, "I love you." Lauren reminds Mr. Mind Games that she didn't actually do anything wrong and that it'd be nice if he stopped threatening to break up with her, and he denies saying what he just said and barks at her to "just listen and not talk ever again" and admonishes her for continuing to make mistakes. A fed up Lauren snaps, "I don't care!" and storms out of the club...and when Heidi rushes over to get the skinny on the nonsensical drama that just unfolded, Lauren complains that Jason is freaking out 'cause a guy she once liked phoned her. She hails a cab, and Heidi insists on climbing in after her...and when Jason calls Lauren on her cell, she answers so she can tearfully say, "Happy New Year, Jason", then snaps her phone shut and stares sadly into space.
As Jason pretends to feel bad about ruining New Year's Eve for everyone, Jordan urges him to call Lauren, declare his love for her, and apologize for his douchebaggery. Jason decides to take his advice and calls Lauren's cell, but Heidi answers and says that Lauren has zero interest in talking to him right now.
Jason happens to stumble upon a flower vendor just outside the club and buys a large bouquet of roses before he and Jordan climb into a waiting limo. The limo then speeds towards Hillside Villas with only ten minutes to spare until 12am. Egads! Jason calls Lauren and asks her to meet him in her building's underground garage so he can be with her when the clock strikes midnight. Lauren is reluctant, but relents when Heidi and the camera crew filming this idiocy convince her it'd be a great way to wrap up this holiday episode with some kind of contrived, last minute happy ending. Jason and Jordan scramble to exit the limo and rush over to the gals...and Jason gives Lauren a bear hug and apologizes for acting like such a horse's ass for much of the episode.
Recap: The Hills gals are at an outdoor cafe, where Heidi is telling Lauren and Audrina that this week marks the sixth-month anniversary of the day Jordan first asked her out. She marvels that this is the longest relationship she's ever had, and Lauren cheekily says that in her high school, a girl would definitely give it up to a guy she's been dating for six months...and the three chortle at the unlikelihood that Heidi has been abstaining from sex with Jordan for the last six months.
At Bolthouse Productions, Heidi is glumly playing solitaire at her workstation when Brent summons her to his office. As she shoots him a pouty glare, he tells her he's going to start integrating her into the club scene, specifically that she'll be working with Elodie at LAX on Wednesday night. Heidi's face lights up...and after thanking him profusely, she rushes back to her workstation and calls Elodie to tell her she'll be working at the club with her. Elodie seems surprised by this development and asks her if she's starting the new assignment this Wednesday...and Heidi suddenly gets a blank look on her face and says she hopes it's not this Wednesday - even though I thought it was pretty clear that that's exactly what Brent just said - 'cause she has anniversary plans with Jordan to go to dinner and bowling. Elodie rolls her eyes and laughingly calls her Miss I-Have-a-Really-Big-Personal-Schedule. LOL.
Jason intercepts Lauren as she's on her way to FIDM and says he wants to talk about the other night, specifically why she seemed so upset after dinner. Lauren tells him he hurt her feelings when he acted like such a cold douchwad towards her all through dinner and that she was disappointed that he didn't seem to want to spend time with her after he'd played golf with the menfolk all day. Jason mumbles about how there were a bunch of guys at the restaurant he hadn't seen in awhile and wanted to hang with them, coos at her to not be sad, then gives her a reassuring canoodle that all is well.
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love is chairing a summit to discuss an upcoming fashion show they're doing in partnership with DKNY Jeans. Lisa tells Whitney that she and Lauren will be helping the stylist (Jay) backstage...and Whitney says she'll fill Lauren in, whose absence from the meeting is remarked on, then decided is acceptable 'cause she's busy taking a test at FIDM. When Whitney returns to the closet office, she calls Lauren to give her a heads-up about the fashion show, says there'll be soooooo much work to do, and that it'll just be the two of them helping Jay. Lauren thanks her for the call and tells her she'll see her tomorrow.
At Bolthouse Productions, Jen summons Heidi to her office to go over the specifics for Wednesday night. Heidi looks pained and says she was hoping to start Saturday instead - but Jen's like, "Uh no" and proceeds to lecture her in advance about how Bolthouse staff is not permitted to go inside the club and hang out with friends, aka Heidi's primary motivation for remaining employed at Bolthouse. Heidi looks less than thrilled by the edict and asks if it's OK to hang with friends once they're done working, and Jen says that's not actually possible 'cause when they're done working, it essentially means that the club is closed.
Jason drives Lauren to wherever DKNY Jeans is casting and otherwise preparing for the evening's fashion show...and when she arrives five minutes late, she gets sneered at by the events producer and then lectured by the model bookings editor about how vitally important it is to be on time to these kinds of work gigs - otherwise it holds everyone up. Lauren apologizes, then looks mystified by the disproportionately crazed reaction to her tardiness.
As Heidi primps for her first night of working the club scene, she tells Lauren she's sooooo bummed to not be able to spend the evening clubbing at LAX with Jordan on their anniversary. She says she invited him to come to LAX so that they [and the MTV camera crew] can be in the same place, and Lauren just kind of shrugs and tells her to try to make the best of it.
DKNY fashion show! Lauren is tasked with tracking down a no-show model and is instructed to repeatedly phone her and/or her agency. The organizers then discuss a backup plan in case the model fails to show up and decide that Whitney should take her place on the runway...and Whitney looks momentarily freaked out while Lauren widens her eyes and is all, "Wha-a-a-a??"
At dinner, Heidi and Jordan agree it sucks that she has to work on their six-month anniversary. He presents her with a small jewelry box, and she gasps with delight at the pearl earrings inside and tells him it's been a very special six months and that she's never been with a man this long.
Blaine is stunned to hear that Whitney is now part of the model lineup for the DKNY Jeans show, and Whitney is reacting by twitching and staring nervously into space.
Heidi is learning the ropes of how to stand at the front entrance of LAX holding a clipboard and looking as though she's delivering some kind of useful service. Jordan and Brian arrive and greet Heidi...and a few minutes after that, Heidi sneaks into the club to briefly hang with Jordan and Brian. As that's happening, a guy named Josh wanders over to tell Jordan he's Heidi's ex-date, that they had "eyes for each other", and refers to Heidi as "pretty good though". Jordan's all 'the fuck?' and shoots him the stink-eye...and once Josh scuttles off, he asks Heidi whassup with exacerbating his deep insecurities by making him come face-to-face with someone she once went out with. Heidi clarifies she only went out with Josh once - but Jordan gets all pissy-standoffish, a sentiment that's reinforced by Brian, who thinks that Josh should be told to "like, go walk off a cliff". Heidi heads back to her post at the front door and gabbles at Elodie and Kristen about the contrived drama that just unfolded.
Backstage, Whitney gets her hair and makeup done for the DKNY Jeans fashion show, then lines up with the rest of the models. When she hits the runway, she stares blankly ahead as she confidently struts in her striped shirt and jeans ensemble...and in the front row, Lisa Love tells Blaine she did a great job as a substitute runway model and remarks on how she's always so composed. Backstage, Blaine compliments Lauren and Whitney on rising to the various challenges they've been given at Teen Vogue.
A sulky Jordan is waiting for Heidi when she's finished her "work" at LAX. She tries to explain that she had no clue Josh was in the club and/or would come over to their table, but he just calls her ridiculous and heads over to his car. He bitchily asks her how she'd react if he treated someone he once went out on a date with in a civil manner, then groans as if he's being tortured and moans, "You drive me insannnnnne." An exasperated Heidi asks, "If I drive you insane so much, then why are you with me?" ... and there probably exists no good answer to that.
Recap: Lauren takes Heidi along to a sporting goods store to buy a set of golf clubs to give to Jason for his birthday. Heidi remarks on what a great gift idea that is, and Lauren says she's only getting them 'cause she literally can't think of what else he might like...then adds that she's going to have to figure out a way to sneak the clubs into the trunk of his car so he can use them for his golf game on the morning of his birthday.
In the Teen Vogue closet office, Whitney remarks, "Jeans can be really addictink" 'cause apparently there are always new ones she feels she needs to have. (Um...OK, Whit.) A few seconds later, Lisa Love enters the room along with a fashion director named Gloria, who announces that there's a big photo shoot on Wednesday she's going to need help with. Whitney says she has class during that time, which means Lauren will have to be there all day to help with the organizing. Lauren looks mildly alarmed and goes, "On Wednesday??!" and Gloria nods obliviously and says she's really counting on her to be there all day and keep everything running smoothly. Once Lisa and Gloria are out of earshot, Lauren tells Whitney that Wednesday is Jason's birthday, and that it sucks she has to work 'cause they had plans for the day.
While lounging in the pool that evening, Audrina tells Heidi she has a date with a hot guy named Danny. Heidi asks her whassup with her and Brian, and she shrugs and is all, "Not much" and clarifies that they never "took it to the next level". Heidi chuckles at that expression, then suggests they develop some kind of secret signal for her date with Danny so she can find out how well/horribly it's going in real time...and Audrina smilingly agrees that that sounds like a fantastic idea.
Jason drops by the apartment and gives Lauren a hello smooch. She breaks it to him that she has to work a Teen Vogue photo shoot all day Wednesday 'cause Whitney is unavailable. Jason digests the news, then sourly says, "So...you have to work. On my birthday. Whatever." Lauren winces and mutters, "I'm sorry", and he moodily stares into space while irritably muttering, "Don't worry about it."
Danny picks up Audrina for their date...and while en route to the restaurant, he blathers about how he aspires to be a model and/or actor. She asks him what beach he went to today, and he looks confused and says (and I quote), "Wait - did I say I was going to the beach? I must have lied. That's amazing" - LOL - and Audrina stares into space with a look of bewilderment, no doubt wondering how quickly she can get the MTV crew to wrap up the filming of this date.
At the restaurant, Danny grabs his cell and says he absolutely needs to check his messages while sitting across from her, then pretends he got a call from his agent. When he's done with that, Audrina asks him when he last had a relationship, and he shrugs and says he's never had a relationship that lasted more than thirty minutes. Audrina gets a call from Heidi to ask how the date is going, then suggests - as their secret signal - to compliment the food if Danny didn't turn out to be a total fuckwad. Audrina calls the food "a little greasy" and Heidi cackles with delight and urges her to meet up with the rest of The Hills gang after her dinner. Danny, meanwhile digs into his food and remarks, "This salad's like a party" while Audrina just stares back at him in blatant dismay.
Heidi, Jordan, Lauren, and Jason arrive at Bella Restaurant...and Heidi warns that things could get awkward 'cause Audrina is just coming off a date that Brian has no idea she had. A few seconds later, Brian arrives...and then a few seconds after that, Audrina arrives...and when Heidi asks her how the date was, she somehow describes it as good, but then makes a 'hell no' face when asked if she's interested in ever seeing Danny again. Heidi squeals, "I wanna hear more! I wanna hear more!", but Brian rolls his eyes and moans, "Oh God, please. Enough already."
Photo shoot! Jane, an extremely uptight looking Teen Vogue fashion editor, tells Lauren that her first task will be to organize all of the footwear by category. Lauren busies herself with that, then does some clothes steaming and gets all the models to sign releases. Later, as the photographing gets underway, Lauren tells Blaine she bought her boyfriend some golf clubs and that the whole Hills clan is getting together for a birthday dinner.
The Hills menfolk arrive at Angeles National Golf Club, and Jordan surprises Jason with his new golf clubs and tells him they're from Lauren. Jason looks pleased by her thoughtfulness and calls her to thank her and reminds her he's picking her up later for dinner.
Lauren spends the rest of the day assisting with various menial tasks at the photo shoot, and at one point commiserates to the models about how she's missing her boyfriend's birthday. Even though he's a big boy, and is enjoying his special day playing golf with his pals.
As the menfolk enjoy their golf game, Lauren anxiously watches the clock as she packs everything up once the photo shoot has officially concluded. Jane wanders over to ask Lauren if she has any interest in watching the crew take some final shots on the beach...and Lauren says she's more than willing to go if her intern services are needed - otherwise she has a birthday party to get to. Jane snidely says, "You don't have to be there if you don't care", and Lauren refrains from snapping back, "No, I really don't care" as she beats a hasty retreat.
Jason picks up Lauren...and while en route to the restaurant, he asks her if she plans to go home after dinner. Lauren's all, "Wuh?" and says she'd be willing to go clubbing with him if that's what he's hinting at, and he makes a blech face at that prospect and lays on a guilt trip about how she had to work on his birthday, wah wah.
The two arrive at Blowfish Sushi, where the rest of The Hills cast (minus Whitney) awaits. Brian stands up and offers a lengthy toast...and soon after, Jason abruptly gets up and seats himself at the other end of the table. When Lauren stares over at him with a hurt expression, he returns to his seat and grunts, "I'm just trying to be friendly, baby", then gets up again and saunters off camera. Lauren tells the guy sitting beside her she's not going to fight with Jason on his birthday - then informs Jason a short time later that she doesn't want to go clubbing tonight after all. He scrunches his face in faux confusion and asks her why she's mad at him, and she refrains from calling him out for acting like a pissy little bitch all through dinner and replies in a flat voice, "I won't fight with you on your birthday, I love you" - and they both look really pissed off as Jason climbs into a nearby Mercedes with the rest of the Hills menfolk and speeds off.
Recap: Heidi answers the door and accepts the delivery of a ginormous flower bouquet for Lauren, which has an accompanying card that reads 'To Lauren, Love Jason. I miss you.' Heidi chuckles and says, "Of course he misses you", then declares, "But you don't miss him" - but quickly looks alarmed at the wistful look on Lauren's face and asks, "Do you miss him?" Lauren just stares contemplatively into space, so I'll take that as a yes.
In the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney she broke up with Jason shortly before moving to L.A. 'cause she caught him kissing his ex during a fashion show she was running. She says that since he never apologized, she decided he wasn't worth giving a second chance to despite still having feelings for him.
At Bolthouse Productions, an overwhelmed looking Heidi is on the phone at her workstation as various co-workers dump tedious sounding tasks on her.
Lauren listens to her answering machine, on which Jason has left another message inviting her to call him. He suggest they meet up to get something to eat and catch up on old times.
That evening, Lauren is primping in her bathroom before driving over to Pane E Vino restaurant, where she finds a scruffy-faced Jason seated at a table in the outdoor patio. She glares at him as she asks why he called, and he shrugs and mumbles that he hadn't talked to her for awhile and just wanted to see how she was doing. He says he still cares bout her...and she reminds him that because he did a terrible thing to her, she felt like she couldn't be with him despite how much she still liked him. Jason stares into space with a glazed over expression and suggests they start fresh now that they're both in L.A.
Brent calls a staff meeting and announces that The Palms Hotel is opening a new tower in Vegas, and that Bolthouse will be hosting a big party in a stunning 10,000 square foot suite. As Heidi's face lights up with excitement, Brent - somewhat gleefully, I thought - informs her that since she's not yet twenty-one, she won't be able to come along. Haha!
Blaine pops by the Teen Vogue closet office to ask Whitney to make him some copies in order to free up the room for Jason, who arrives at the building clutching a flower bouquet. When he enters the closet office, Lauren looks thrilled by the surprise and accepts his invitation to go to lunch. When Whitney returns, Lauren introduces her to Jason and says they're off to lunch...then (rhetorically?) asks if Teen Vogue interns are even allowed to take a lunch break.
Over lunch, Lauren remarks on her distaste for salmon, despite her dad being into fishing. Jason says he looooves fishing and would like to buy a boat...and after some more banal chit-chit, he picks up the check and asks her if she'd like to catch a movie with him later. Lauren happily says she'd be totes into that.
Heidi goes into the ladies room with Elodie for a one-on-one complaint-fest about her job-related misery. She complains to Elodie that she doesn't "get this company", feels like she's not really part of anything, and wants to be assigned cool nightclub things. When she whines that the job isn't at all what she expected, Elodie tells her she first needs to really learn the job, pay her dues, and eventually work her way up to the club scene. Elodie says she figures that a million men and/or women would kill for the job she herself has earned her way into, but Heidi just stares poutishly into space.
After lunch, Whitney asks Lauren if the old spark was there between her and Jason, and Lauren says it's always there. Whitney says she put her flower bouquet in some water for her, then remarks on how hard Jason is trying to impress her. Lauren says she's decided to give the relationship another chance so she doesn't spend the rest of her life wondering if it was a mistake to blow him off, and Whitney agrees that that's a good idea, and says there are people in life one never quite gets over.
Lauren is lounging by the pool texting when Heidi wanders over...and makes a blech face when she learns that Lauren is texting Jason. She asks Lauren if Jason is seeing other girls, and Lauren replies, "I don't think so" and assures Heidi that this time she has her guard up. Heidi nods approvingly and says she doesn't want to see her get hurt again, and that she'll kill him if he does.
At Bolthouse Productions the next day, Brent barks at Heidi to get him his lunch...and Heidi heads out, but forgets his smoothie drink. After sorting that out, she goes to a private place outside and calls Jordan to tearfully complain about how much she haaaates her job, can't stand picking up lunch orders for her boss, and desperately wants to quit.
Lauren and Jason arrive at the movies, chuckling about they're practically the only two in the enormous theater. After what looks like an enjoyable date, he drives her home, hugs her goodnight, and leans in for an intense smooch. He then suggests they have dinner sometime soon, and she blushingly tells him she's definitely up for that.
Recap: Heidi asks Lauren if she's still miffed at her for dropping out of FIDM, and Lauren's like, "Yeah kinda" and says it's weird that she quit, given that attending FIDM was the main reason she moved to L.A. - but then concedes that there are lots of opportunities in the city. Heidi says she's soooooo excited about her new job and likes the idea of "running around all the time", hanging out in the clubs and meeting celebrities. Lauren reminds her that since it's a job she'll have to work, and Heidi's like, "Yeah whatever - OMG, what should I wear?!" Lauren advises her to always dress nicer than she thinks she should. At least on the first day.
Later, at Teen Vogue, Blaine summons Lauren to his office to tell her she's going to need to take the red-eye to New York to deliver a dress to Lisa Love, who's attending Fashion Week. He unhelpfully adds that he has no idea how long she'll be there - an hour? five days? - and Lauren's like 'seriously?' and is probably too polite to remind him it's not exactly convenient for her to be away for an indeterminate period of time 'cause she also attends school - but in the next scene she seems fairly excited by the idea of flying across the country to run an errand.
Brian drops by Quixote Studios to dorkishly flirt with Audrina, and she gives him a tour of the various stages, including one that's currently in use for a Maxim/scantily clad female model shoot. Brian wanks her about how much hotter she is than the models, then asks her out to dinner tomorrow night...and she's like 'ah what the hell, I have nothing better to do'.
Lauren rushes home to pack and inform Heidi that she has to leave for the airport in an hour to fly to New York to deliver a dress [that someone either forgot to ship in advance or decided at the last minute was urgently needed]. Lauren says she has no idea what to wear to a fashion show [despite not being invited to attend any], and Heidi, who's suddenly an authority on the matter, says it's customary to wear something by the designer. Heidi gushes about how much fun she's going to have [flying to and from New York within the same 24 hours] as Lauren packs her big pink suitcase and dashes out.
That evening, Heidi and Audrina are hanging by the pool, talking about boys and how super excited she still is about landing her "dream job". She adds that she quickly realized she wasn't meant to follow the same career path as Lauren and has no regrets about dropping out of school, and Audrina nods approvingly and chirps, "I dropped out too!"
Lauren, meanwhile, arrives in New York and goes into the nearest ladies room to change into something dressy and comb out her hair.
Heidi arrives at Bolthouse Productions and announces to the Second Assistant (Landon) that it's her first day of work...as, I'm guessing, Third (?) Assistant. Brent summons her to his office to explain that basically her job will be to assist whatever department needs extra help...and today she'll be assigned to the mailing room to help the other grunts stuff envelopes. Heidi looks less than thrilled by the menial task...and when she learns that the woman stuffing envelopes next to her is an intern who attends FIDM, she wryly says, "I just dropped out of there" and completely misses the irony of having made that rash decision.
In New York, Lauren arrives at the Marc by Marc Jacobs fashion show and finds Lisa Love chatting with someone. When Lisa finally acknowledges her, she takes the dress with a curt thank you, then tells her she's going to need to fly back to L.A. tonight. Lauren looks crestfallen by the major brushoff, then heads back out to the town car to be ferried to wherever she's going to kill time until her flight departs.
Heidi calls Lauren from a bathroom stall to complain about how boooooring her dream job turned out to be, and that stuffing envelopes all day has been "a nightmare". Lauren tells her that she too is disgruntled about having to fly across the country for the sole purpose of delivering a dress, then wearily says she has no idea how she's going to do this internship and attend school.
Heidi asks to speak to Brent [and by default Jen, the Nightlife & Events producer] about the indignity of having to stuff envelopes all day...and suddenly feigns confusion about whether this was supposed to be a full or part-time position. Brent tells her that her being around full-time is what's best for Bolthouse [is it, Brent??], and that he'd like her to at least pretend to be 100% committed to wanting to be there. Jen chimes in and says, "You've got to crawl before you walk" and Brent adds, "If you're going to come here and work, we need you to work." Heidi thanks them for the clarification and sashays out of the office, leaving Brent and Jen exchanging OMFG expressions and shaking their heads in collective dismay.
Audrina and Brian are out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant. The two discuss how long they've been living in L.A. and how they're attempting to break into showbiz by taking acting classes and going to castings. After dinner, Brian walks her to her door and hints that he'd like to hang out some more, and she awkwardly invites him in for some hanky-panky-free alone time.
Heidi gets up at 6:30am the next morning, makes breakfast, then sits atop the bed while munching on a bowl of cereal and watching TV. Jordan grumbles about her having a "regular job" - I can't help wondering if his Hills pay checks are fully financing his life of sloth or if he has an alternate revenue source - and urges her to blow off work and lay in bed with him all day. Heidi mulls that over and looks tempted, but ultimately decides to give her dream job at least one more day.
Brent tells Heidi that since Landon is out today, he needs her to handle travel arrangements for various staff. He then realizes it's lunchtime and orders Heidi to go get him a sandwich, and she reacts by staring unhappily into space.
Lauren and her big pink suitcase return home from New York. She checks her answering machine and looks aghast as she listens to a message from Jason, her shitty ex. He tells her he's in L.A. and wants to know if she'd like to hang out and get caught up, and she continues to glare in horrified bewilderment at the answering machine.
Lauren arrives on the FIDM campus and goes to class, while at Bolthouse Productions a poutish Heidi inputs "9-6" for every weekday on her computer calendar. The camera then pans back to Lauren, who's barely listening to her classmate deliver a presentation, presumably 'cause she's so distracted by the imminent return of Jason to her life.