Recap: Jo arrives at an elementary school for her first day as a student teacher. The supervising teacher, an old lady named Grace, introduces Jo to the class, aka a group of ultra-hammy tots who tepidly clap while Grace is all, "Good luck, Jo!" and then beats a hasty retreat. LOL. Jo tells the kids that she'll be educating them about the coffee trade in Brazil, and they groan unhappily and do their best to look as unengaged as possible.
When the bell rings at 3:00pm, the kids race out the door - just as Grace pops back into the classroom to ask Jo how her first day went [while she was off lollygagging in the teachers' lounge, I'll assume]. Jo says she feels like she bombed 'cause she wasn't able to hold the kids' interest, but Grace just chuckles and says that if she wasn't pranked or tortured in any real way, she can chalk it up to a good day.
Natalie returns home in a work-suit onesie and gabbles excitedly about her temp job at a dog food factory. Tootie says she remains incredulous that her best friend is choosing to slog it out at horrible manual labor jobs when she could be studying at Princeton - but Natalie says, on the contrary, she looooves all the real life experience she's getting as she mixes with the poorly educated who don't have teeth. Jo arrives home and glumly shares that her first day as a student teacher was a total bust, then notices a letter addressed to her from JTI, aka Jordan Technical Industries. Blair perks up at the mention of JTI, particularly when she learns that they're interested in scheduling a job interview with Jo, who she advises to seriously consider the offer. She wanks Jo about how hard she works and therefore deserves to reap the financial rewards of earning a college degree - but Jo just makes an ew face at the prospect of having a solitary-type job sitting in front of a computer all day and says she'd prefer a more person-to-person type of career. She digs in even after Blair points out that teachers get shitty pay, risk getting laid or knifed...and/or risk getting laid off because they were knifed. Har har.
The next day at school, Jo is trying to teach the kids math...and eventually manages to connect with them when she hands one kid a bunch of one dollar bills and gets them to develop problem-solving skills when they have to stretch their tiny brains to figure out what portion of the cash equals one-third.
At 12pm, Jo enters the teachers' lounge with her Scooby Doo lunchbox to mingle with the faculty. She asks them if they read the latest article in Teacher's Quarterly, and the jaded veterans roll their eyes and are all, "Aren't you adorable for reading professional literature and then expect to discuss it with us during lunch." Jo tells Grace about the letter she got from JTI, and Grace advises her to strongly consider doing anything other than teaching 'cause of the many drawbacks of the profession. When Jo points out that it can't be that bad 'cause she's been doing it for forty years, Grace explains that there wasn't much in the way of career choices for women when she was young...and urges Jo to take full advantage of all that the mid-80s has to offer a female college graduate.
Blair, Natalie, and Mrs. Garrett are helping Jo prepare the cake and cookies for Grace's retirement party. Blair wonders aloud why the school isn't shelling out their own money for the food, then lets out a dramatic sigh and not-so-subtly tells Jo that the school probably doesn't have the budget to give a forty year teaching veteran a decent farewell party. She implores Jo to not be rash about her career choice and to consider how nice it'd be to earn a salary that would allow her to help out her long-suffering mother financially...and Mrs. Garrett chimes in and agrees that teaching is "a hard road" with a lousy salary and a meagre pension. Jo says she's not actively looking to being a part of the working poor her entire life, then stares contemplatively into space as she mulls over the important choice that lays before her.
Jo arrives home and finds the JTI interviewer, Tom, waiting for her on the couch. Interesting that a recruiter at a technology firm conducts job interviews in the form of home visits. Jo tells him she's probably not right for JTI 'cause she's not sure she could adapt to a corporate culture and/or sit alone in front of a computer all day, so Tom assures her that JTI isn't a stuffy kind of place, and that she'd be working with a team of developers to put together educational programs. He says he looooves the fact that she has activist tendencies, along with a whole lot of drive and imagination. A startled Jo asks him if he's offering her a job based on this ninety second conversation, and he's all 'sure, why the hell not?' and says she's welcome to start her employment at JTI immediately after graduation.
Retirement party time! Grace thanks Jo for supplying the cake and cookies for her party, and Jo tells her about the JTI interview and says if she were to take the job she'd be developing educational programs...and that she has to call them back by 3pm if she plans on accepting. Grace looks impressed and says it sounds like a wonderful career opportunity - just as the principal asks for everyone's attention so he can congratulate Grace on somehow managing to slog it through a poverty wage level teaching career for the last forty years.
During class, one of Jo's students is reading aloud his report on World War II...and after the bell rings, the kid stays behind to ask Jo why there's war in the world. She's like, "Uh, that's going to take forever to explain", then anxiously looks over at the clock and sees that it's nearly 3pm. The kid's like, "Oh, OK" before dejectedly shuffling off - but Jo stops him, sits down with him, and starts to explain the concept of war...and by doing so, I can only assume, blows off her followup call with Tom at JTI.
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Recap: The Facts gals (plus Andy) are putting the final touches on the bright and airy new Over Our Heads store, which is scheduled to open in fifteen minutes. Tootie chides Natalie for not wearing her happy face name tag pin and forcibly pins it onto her lapel - just as Mrs. Garrett arrives with her newly repaired Edna's Edibles sign that she wants to display in her Cookie Corner. Blair announces to everyone that she's eagerly awaiting a shipment from Tina Turner's clothing line, and Mrs. Garrett calms her nerves by taking a tour of the small shop, which includes..
George Clooney drops by to see if the gals need any help, and Natalie hands him a giant stack of flyers and orders him to hand them out to passersby. George responds by railing about how much he hates it when people put flyers on his windshield, and Natalie's like, "I really don't give a shit, George. Go hand out the flyers."
A weird looking guy decked out in a black bodysuit and dark sunglasses enters the store, and Natalie giddily explains to Mrs. Garrett and the Facts gals that his name is Otto, and that she hired him from an avant-garde gallery in SOHO to needlessly create performance art during their grand opening week. Tootie announces that they're officially ready to open and asks Mrs. Garrett, who's staring over at Otto dismayingly, if she has anything profound to say in order to mark the occasion. When Mrs. Garrett surprisingly declines, Tootie natters about the journey on which they're about to embark...and as she's doing that, ignores a man [whose name we learn is Clark and] who's standing outside their door waving a dollar bill. When she finally allows him to enter, he says he needs change - LOL - but hastily adds that he'd be more than happy to be their first customer by buying a fugly plastic doll for his granddaughter.
As the day progresses, Blair happily grumbles that her many customers are running her ragged, while Mrs. Garrett is visibly vexed by Otto's loud balloon popping. Two old ladies shuffle in and ask Mrs. Garrett if she has any quiche available...then quickly get disinterested when they're told that the store is no longer Edna's Edibles. Mrs. Garrett urges them to try her chocolate chip cookies - just as Clark returns to report that the fugly plastic doll he just bought is missing an arm. Seems like something someone would have noticed at the point of sale, but OK. Tootie lets him pick out another doll before sending him on his way, while the old ladies try to figure out what in the heck the bendable red squiggly thing in Jo's section is.
Tootie notices a well dressed man enter their store and head straight for the Tina Turner outfits. When she asks if she can help him, he flashes his badge at her and says he's with the New York Department of Investigations. He informs her that there's a problem with the clothing items 'cause apparently Tina Turner never authorized a clothing line. He asks for the bill of sale, which Blair promptly produces, sees that Mrs. Garrett's name is on the receipt, and brusquely tells her he's going to have to haul her downtown for questioning.
The Facts gals sit around, looking bummed, as they worry about what Mrs. Garrett could be enduring right now. Otto, meanwhile, is busying himself by hanging up clothing on a clothesline and reciting bizarre poetry...and Natalie finally admits that, yep, his schtick is total bullshit. Clark returns to complain that doll #2 is missing an eye...and as Tootie wails, "How does this keep happening?!", Natalie stress tests a new one by slamming it atop the counter several times before handing it to Clark. LOL.
Mrs. Garrett returns, says the cops let her off with a warning, but then slapped her with an unpaid parking ticket (courtesy of Jo's negligence). She then tells the gals she's very uncomfortable in this all-over-the-place type store and thinks they should sell it asap. She adds that the store is far too weird for her and that she has a feeling it's not going to be successful...and as she spacily wanders out of the room, Jo concedes that trying to make a go of an ill-thought-out shitty dollar store was always going to be a risky venture.
The gals shift their grand opening to a going-out-of-business sale, and George Clooney ushers people in off the streets and bellows at them through a blow horn to buy dollar store type crap that no one could possibly need. The two old ladies from earlier return to tell Mrs. Garrett that her cookies were the best cookies they'd ever eaten, and Jo wryly tells Tootie that so far they've made a $500 profit, which proves that they're clearly amazing at shutting down the very business they launched that morning.
A real estate agent breezes into the store and cheekily offers Mrs. Garrett 50% of what she paid for the property, then condescendingly says that she and her gals clearly got in over their heads (har har!), seeing as how the store is opening and closing on the same day. Jo admonishes him for trying to rip them off [and by them she means Mrs. Garrett's son Raymond, the actual owner of the building], and Mrs. Garrett suddenly decides she's not really ready to throw in the towel on the new business after all. When a customer holds up the bendable red squiggly thing and asks what in blazes it is, Mrs. Garrett decides it's a planter [that can't actually hold soil], and the customer looks delighted and is all, "Sold!" Jo remarks on the sudden twinkle in Mrs. Garrett's eye, which everyone translates to mean that Over Our Heads will be the glue that keeps them all living under the same roof for the foreseeable future.
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Recap: Mrs. Garrett and the Facts gals are gabbling about how thrilled they are to get the residence part of the set back to normal post-fire, and then discuss hiring a contractor to fix up the shop part of the set. Mrs. Garrett says they should look for someone who's hardworking, reliable, and cheap...and in the next scene, she's interviewing a series of prospective contractors:
Natalie suggests they call the new store Razzle Dazzle, but no one else likes the sound of that. A few seconds later, a lanky young George Clooney (!) ambles into the room, informs the cast that there's a gaping hole in their charred store, and asks if his newspaper got delivered here by mistake. Tootie sorts through the mail and finds The Kuwaiti Times, and everyone's all, "Wha-a-a-at were you doing in Kuwait?" George explains that he was contracted to build hot tubs for Kuwaiti homes, 'cause apparently "a fella needs to relax when he comes home to his wives". Tootie perks up at that and asks him if he'd be able to rebuild their charred store, and he offers to go take a closer look. Once he's out of earshot, Natalie gushes about how positively adorable he is, while Jo grumbles that he's been out of the U.S. for too long, and that in the Middle East people do strange things like burn dung to heat their homes. Blair says they'll overcome that non-existent-in-America issue by nicely asking him to not bring dung into their store, and the five agree to hire the cutie. When George re-enters the room, he announces that he can do the job for 15K, and adds that he has lots of experience with tools from working at his dad's local hardware store. As Mrs. Garrett and the Facts gals confer, Jo expresses concern that George seems like the irresponsible type, while Tootie says she likes the cut of his jib and Mrs. Garrett really likes the low price tag. Jo reluctantly agrees to give him a shot, and Mrs. Garrett tells George he's officially hired.
While renovating, Natalie asks George why he left Kuwait, so he tells her he got deported after he unveiled a veiled woman he'd been flirting with 'cause he was dying to see what she looked like. Unfortunately, her mother witnessed the cheeky unveiling, reported George to the police, and he was promptly deported by the Kuwaiti government. As Natalie cackles with delight at George's complete lack of cultural sensitivity or awareness, Mrs. Garrett enters the job site and scrunches her face disapprovingly as she expresses disappointment that the flooring hasn't been installed yet. George just shrugs haplessly and says, "I'm working on it."
Blair bursts onto the job site and asks Tootie, Natalie, and George if they'd like to go to a baseball game with her this afternoon. George declines 'cause he's too busy working - but Tootie and Natalie egg him on to blow off the renovation and assure him that Mrs. Garrett is very loose about such matters. George decides 'sure, what could possibly go wrong with me ditching work for the entire afternoon?' and heads out with the gals...and a few seconds later, Mrs. Garrett reappears clutching a blueprint and is perplexed by the abandoned job site.
Late that night, George, Tootie, Natalie, and Blair are back on the job site, drilling and hammering away. Jo enters the room and says she's annoyed by all the racket, so George explains that he's making up for lost time after deciding it was a good idea to spend the afternoon at the ballpark instead of working on the renovation like he was hired to do. Mrs. Garrett ambles into the room and also complains about all the drilling, then grumbles about the slow progress. When a pizza delivery guy arrives, an irked Mrs. Garrett decides that that's the last straw and tells George she's not willing to wait any longer than necessary for the work to get done, then abruptly fires him. As Tootie, Natalie, and Blair are all, "Wha-a-a-a?!", George says he's A-OK about being let go, amiably says, "It's the way Mrs. Garrett wants it", and casually saunters off-set. LOL.
Blair, Natalie, and Tootie complain to Mrs. Garrett about not being consulted about the decision to fire George, so Mrs. Garrett points out that she was repeatedly ignored whenever she expressed concern about George's ineptitude. She concedes that, sure, George is a nice guy, dreamy as hell, and a ton of fun - but she hired him to do a job. Jo concurs and says he simply wasn't responsible enough for the job. Mrs. Garrett reminds the Facts gals that they're businesswomen now and that they need to focus on finding a replacement...and in the next scene, the slovenly Zeke Higgins is lumbering around the job site, finishing up the renovation.
Tootie glares at Zeke, who keeps yelling at her for operating the drill, and rails about George's firing. Natalie nods sympathetically and asks if anyone's heard from him, so Jo breezily says he's probably working in his dad's hardware store. Mrs. Garrett says she stopped by there and learned that he's not an employee, then admits that she may have acted too hastily when she fired him - just as Zeke announces that he's going to need another 1K to finish the renovation. When Mrs. Garrett shrieks, "But I don't haaaaaaave another thousand dollars!", Tootie looks over at Natalie and reminds her of the value of her Europe plane ticket, so Natalie offers to cash it in as long as she can get repaid in time to catch the running of the bulls in Spain. Mrs. Garrett thanks her and promises to pay her back asap...and then Blair brings in the mail, which includes George's Kuwaiti Times. Everyone stares sadly into space.
Jo finds George lunching in a local restaurant and explains that she stopped by his dad's hardware store, and he directed her here. She sheepishly admits she may have inadvertently [or a tad deliberately] gotten him fired, then explains that she distrusted him 'cause she worried his easygoing manner wasn't the best trait in a contractor, given that Mrs. Garrett has her entire life savings tied up in the store. She adds that she's a self-appointed watchdog 'cause none of the other Facts gals are ever willing to take on that role, and George says he totally understands being fired and admits to slacking off on the job. Jo tells him they hired Zeke Higgins to finish up the work, then invites him to drop by the store sometime and check it out.
Blair says she wants the name of the new store to apply to their current situation, then joins the rest of the staff in the ceremonial hammering of the last nail. Blair suddenly blurts out, "Over Our Heads!", and everyone concurs that they're indeed over their heads, and that they each loooove the idea of adopting that phrase as the store's new name. A few seconds later, George drops by to pick up his newspaper, and Mrs. Garrett tells him she hopes he won't get the incorrect delivery address fixed 'cause she kind of likes the idea of him regularly dropping by. She then invites him to join in the ceremonial nail hammering, but his hammer strike ends up bending the nail. He smilingly says, "No wonder you fired me", and everyone chortles in benign amusement at the show's welcome new eye candy.
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Recap: Tootie is aboard a Peekskill-bound train, nattering to the man who had the misfortune of sitting next to her that she's worried her friends will miss the train. The man's like, "That's too bad, I really don't give a shit" just as Blair and Jo rush aboard...and then Natalie a few seconds after that. The four hug hello and welcome each other to mark the premiere episode of the show's seventh (%#@*!!) season and gabble about what they did all summer. Jo says she spent the summer mentoring kids at a camp, which gets an eye roll and voice-overed grumbling from Blair about the do-gooder drivel she's always spewing...and then Blair says she shopped all summer, which gets an eye roll and voice-overed grumbling from Jo about the level of shallowness it would have to take for a person to do nothing but shop for two solid months. Natalie says she got a job earning $6.50 an hour and managed to save up a bundle for her trip to Europe...which, for some reason, irks Tootie, who tries to draw everyone's attention to her poof-tastic new '80s mulleted hairdo.
The Fact gals arrive at the Edna's Edibles set and are stunned to find it a charred mess. Mrs. Garrett enters the scene with an insurance agent in tow and explains that the kitchen mysteriously went up in flames yesterday while she was out running errands, and thankfully no one was hurt. She assures them that all of their ruined belongings are covered by insurance...and the insurance agent concurs, but only as long as everyone has a receipt for every single item that got lost or damaged. Um, OK. Interesting policy for an insurance company. As the gals rush upstairs to survey the damage to their communal bedroom, Mrs. Garrett stands in the middle of the burned wreckage and tears up as she moans, "My beautiful, beautiful shop."
The gals look over the extensive smoke and water damage to their belongings. Tootie refuses to let the fire dampen her spirits and brims with positivity when she declares that they'll simply start fresh this season. Andy Moffett drops by to comfort the gals with a group hug and help them make a list of everything that was ruined in the fire. Tootie insists that the bedroom is livable despite the soaking wet mattresses - but Blair's like, "Uh, no" and says she's off to live at the Hyatt until further notice, while Jo says she'll find someone to bunk with at the dorm. When Natalie reminds everyone that she's just about to leave for Europe, a panicked Tootie insists that, if they all put their heads together, they can figure out how the four of them can continue living under the same roof and under Mrs. Garrett's general supervision despite the fact that they're all fully grown women who might want to consider moving the fuck on with their lives. Blair points out that they've lived together for the last six seasons [and that there's a good chance the producers fished The Fact of Life lake dry by around the end of the fourth season] - but an appalled Tootie just gasps in horror at the prospect of ever living apart from her besties. Jo looks bemused by her reaction and says, "It's not like we planned on living together for the rest of our lives", and Tootie shoots her a say what? look and replies, "That's the first I've heard of it."
Mrs. Garrett ambles into the room and says she's not sure she even wants to get Edna's Edibles up and running again 'cause of how tired she got of constantly baking. She says she'd much rather use her insurance money to go back to school or travel the world, then feebly assures them that somehow everything will all be OK. Once she and Andy are out of earshot, Tootie tells the other gals she thinks Mrs. Garrett is lying for their sakes and that she actually wants to bring back Edna's Edibles - but Jo, Blair, and Natalie argue that Mrs. Garrett doesn't tend to lie about life decisions.
The next day, Tootie and Natalie return from a Manhattan shopping spree with bags of stuff - just as Mrs. Garrett hands everyone their checks from the insurance company. Natalie explains that she and Tootie went to the big city to find out what was "hot", then pulls out a hamburger lamp and an unsightly Diana Ross clothing hanger. As Jo, Blair, and Mrs. Garrett are all, "What the hell kind of useless shit is this?", Tootie and Natalie urge them to open their minds to starting a new business selling eclectic crap [in other words: a shitty dollar store]. Mrs. Garrett shrieks, "I don't want another business!", so Tootie explains that each cast member would get her own department: Blair would be in charge of fashion, Jo would be in charge of things like keychains featuring The Clapper technology, and Mrs. Garrett would operate a tiny cookie corner. Mrs. Garrett says she doesn't have the money to rebuild - but Tootie points out that they'll have enough cash if they pool their insurance checks together. Blair mulls that over for a few seconds and says she's definitely interested...and Mrs. Garrett stares contemplatively into space for a few seconds before saying they're going to have to find a contractor who can fix up the place and work cheap. She decrees that the new business will be an equal partnership among the five of them, then suddenly looks excited by the adventure that lies ahead. She chatters about being on the verge of a new era, which gets eye rolls and voice-overed grumblings from the Facts gals, who complain about how much the shrieky old woman tends to drone on and on.
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Recap: An Eastland alumni named Beth McNeil is interviewing Eastland students and other alumni for a book she's writing about the boarding school. She kicks off this plot-free season finale with her first of five humdrum one-on-one interviews:
Tootie gabbles about her dream of becoming an actress, and how determined she is to beat the odds and make it in showbiz. She tells Beth that Natalie is her BFF, and that she's also very close to Jo and Blair [in the same way that hamsters become friends when they're put in the same cage] ... and that Mrs. Garrett has been a mother, friend, and guardian to all of them. She predicts that in ten years they'll all still be friends and/or still living together (as they wrap up Season 16, aka the year Beverly Ann's second cousin arrived in Peekskill to take over the Facts gals' house mothering responsibilities).
Natalie tells Beth she's considering a career in journalism, fiction writing, or politics - then gets interrupted by Tootie, who briefly halts the interview to pull a cluster of leaves out of her friend's hair. Natalie irritably shoos her away, then tells Beth that Eastland has given her a strong sense of herself, and that she's fairly confident she's going to be A-OK out in the world...and by world, she means the roof she's going to be living under along with the other three Facts gals - a dynamic the writers experimented with in Season 2 and have zero interest in shaking up [beyond adding superfluous characters like Kelly, Andy, or George Clooney to the mix].
Blair fluffs her hair and strikes a flirty pose for the camera....then quickly deflates when Beth tells her that this video footage is strictly for her reference while she writes her book. Blair talks about the difference in relationships in high school versus college, namely that there's pressure in college to take relationships further. She recaps her brief engagement to Cliff, who she dumped soon after he went to med school. She describes herself as wonderful, waxes on about how much she loooooves the traditions of Eastland...and how turned on she is by Jo's street smarts and prickly confidence.
Jo is rushing around campus, as Beth and her cameraman race to keep up with her. Jo explains that she's super busy 'cause she's involved in so many clubs, and has to work extra hard to keep up her grade point average in order to keep her scholarship. She adds that she's the first person in her underprivileged Bronx family to go to college and is interested in becoming a teacher, despite the shit pay. She says that over the years she's grown close to people she has nothing in common with...and by people she mostly means her most special BFF, Blair.
Beth decides to interview Mrs. Garrett 'cause of how gushingly each of the Facts gals spoke of her. Mrs. Garrett stares dreamily into space and says she loved Eastland the moment she stepped on campus, and that eventually she became an honorary graduate. She tells Beth that in a previous life she entered the Peace Corps and drove a taxi [but interestingly neglects to mention her former job as the Drummond's housekeeper on Diff-rent Strokes]. When she became Eastland's house mother, she made it a point to learn every girl's name and create as cozy an atmosphere as possible...then decided to shake things up by starting her own business and going back to college. She considers the Facts gals her family and feels like the luckiest house mother in the world.
After the interviews, Mrs. Garrett invites the Facts gals out to dinner despite it being a week night and shrieks, "My treat!" They're all, "Yippee!" and grab their coats and head for the door...and Mrs. Garrett helps Blair as she struggles with her coat, then gives her a tender smile.
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Recap: Tootie, Jo, and Mrs. Garrett - who's finally returned from her "vacation"! - are refinishing a used bookshelf for Natalie that they plan to fill with a set of encyclopedias and then present to her as a high school graduation gift. A few seconds later, Blair returns home...and when Jo snarls at her for not helping out with the bookshelf, Blair says she would have if she didn't have so much darn studying to do. She adds that Natalie's new bookshelf will look nice in their communal bedroom, and Mrs. Garrett says, "Only if she goes to college here." An alarmed Tootie's all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?!" and asks her if she has the inside scoop on Natalie's future plans, and Mrs. Garrett assures her she doesn't..but that it's unrealistic to expect that they'll all keep living under the same roof together, well into adulthood, under the watchful eye of a house mother (and then later a replacement house mother) who seems to revel in the responsibility of babysitting four grown women for an unfathomable duration of nine fucking seasons.
When Natalie returns home, the rest of the Facts gals throw a blanket over the bookshelf and pretend as if they're all studying together while standing up. Natalie shoots them a suspicious glare before heading into the living room...and once she's out of earshot, the rest of the Facts clan discusses the importance of Natalie selecting Langley as her primary college choice.
Natalie asks Blair and Jo why they're all acting so weird, and Blair responds by talking up the awesomeness of Langley and how it's provided her and Jo with the perfect college experience. Jo gets in on that action and waxes on and on about the fabulousness of the Langley social scene and academics, and Blair "assures" Natalie that they aren't trying to push her into anything...even though the choice to do anything other than enrol as a Langley freshman in the fall would be a disaster of gargantuan proportion.
Natalie strolls around the mall and seats herself on a bench beside an irked looking older man. She chirps hello at him and natters about the movie she just saw...and he grumbles about how his daughter and son-in-law drag him to the damn mall every week 'cause they just assume that he enjoys this type of outing. Natalie nods sympathetically and says that people generally mean well, and that she too has something to tell her friends and family that they're not going to want to hear...namely that she's decided to put off going to college. She says she finds the idea of attending college right after high school depressing, and is considering applying to a school she has no hope of being accepted to, and use that rejection to shut everyone up. The old man urges her to just be honest about her plans, and she mulls that over for a few seconds and agrees that he's probably right. She then thanks him and says that their little chat has given her a fresh perspective on how to best handle her conundrum.
The Facts clan throws Natalie a surprise graduation party at Edna's Edibles...and Blair has invited the best looking A-listers from Langley College's various clubs so they can lay it on thick to Natalie about how it's the best college choice in the entire universe. When someone screeches, "Natalie's coming!", they shut off the lights and hide...then yell, "Surprise!" after Natalie enters the store and turns the lights back on. Natalie says she's thrilled by the surprise party, then glances around and discreetly asks Tootie why they invited so many strangers. Tootie explains that Blair invited a bunch of Langley socialites...and Natalie looks troubled by that, then tells the Facts gals and Mrs. Garrett that she needs to talk to them in private, pronto.
Natalie announces that she's putting off college so she can travel, to which Jo snarks, "Don't be an idiot." Natalie says she made this decision months ago - just as Jo hands her a letter that just came for her from Princeton University. Natalie says she assumes that this is a rejection letter, then is all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?" when she opens it and learns that it's actually an acceptance. As the other gals woot and cheer, Natalie stares despondently into space.
The party breaks up soon after Natalie's no college announcement, and she further explains that she really really wants to put off college so she can take a year off to travel, find out who she is, and be exposed to the real world. When Mrs. Garrett asks her what part of the earth she plans to wander, she dreamily replies, "Wherever the bus takes me...New Mexico...Canada..." Blair looks horrified at the notion of taking a bus anywhere, while Jo rails at her for turning down Princeton. She shrieks, "So many people never get a chance like this!" and disgustedly calls her need for a gap year "a waste" ... and says this as though Natalie's life choices are, in any way, any of her damn business.
When the encyclopedias arrive in the mail, Tootie, Jo, and Blair are annoyed that they're no longer an appropriate graduation gift for Natalie. Jo wonders aloud if they can return them, but Blair says her dad got them on sale and therefore can't get a refund. A few seconds later, Natalie and her mother enter the communal bedroom, and the rest of the Facts gals hastily hide the encyclopedias and rush out to give the two some privacy.
Mama Green tells Natalie she already knows about her decision not to go to college 'cause Jo and Blair spilled the beans to her...which I thought was pretty dickish of them. Natalie explains that she's merely putting off college so she can spend a year traveling and experiencing life. Mama Green asks her how she plans to support herself during this exploration of self discovery, and Natalie's like, "Uh, I just figured you'd pay for it." LOL. Mama Green's like nope and reminds her how important education was to the late Papa Green...and that even though she hates forcing her into anything, she feels so strongly about a year long delay in applying to college that she's willing to withhold any kind of financial support. Natalie moodily stares into space and despondently agrees to throw in the towel on her travel plans.
Graduation Day! Mrs. Garrett is putting a giant bow on the bookshelf filled with encyclopedias when Mama Green arrives for the ceremony. Upstairs, Natalie is dressed in her cap and gown, and gets oohed at by Tootie when she enters the bedroom. Natalie assures her that they won't drift apart after she goes off to Princeton 'cause their friendship is destined to last forever, and Tootie's all, "Phew!" while the two hug.
Natalie goes downstairs to back pedal on her back pedalling about skipping college for a year. She explains to the Facts clan and her mom that she's been stuck in private schools her entire life and needs to take a break from learnin' so she can see which direction she wants to go in...then points out that her fancy Eastland education has prepared her for a world she hasn't even seen. As everyone contorts their faces into bummed out expressions, Natalie tells her mom that she's fully prepared to face the financial consequences of going against her wishes...but her mom says she's reversing her earlier threat to cut her off and now has her full support. She gushes about how proud of her she is, and the two hug.
Mrs. Garrett marvels at Natalie for being all grown up, then shrieks, "How could you dooooo this to meeeee?!" Natalie looks touched and says she's ready to receive her graduation present now...and everyone exchanges uncomfortable glances until Blair explains that it's probably no longer appropriate. When Natalie insists, the gals unveil the bookshelf and encyclopedia set, and Natalie squeals about how much she looooooves it. She says she'll leave it in the communal bedroom for safekeeping, but will take the atlas with her...in case she gets lost while aimlessly wandering around North America.
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Recap: Tootie and Natalie are conducting a "croissant challenge" (with the needless help of Kevin and Andy) to determine if the competing bakery, Croissant My Heart, is serving tastier pastries than Edna's Edibles. Kevin blindfolds Blair and feeds her two croissants, and when she declares them both delicious, Andy chuckles about how the meaningless results of this taste test have been rendered even more meaningless than they'd normally be 'cause he thought it'd be amusing to give her two Edna's Edibles croissants. After Tootie and Natalie bark at him to get lost, Blair assures them that she's a savvy businesswoman with plenty of relevant corporate experience, and that she has no problem going head to head with the competition. When Jo enters the room, the gals tell her about the possible threat that is Croissant My Heart, and Jo says that she and Mrs. Garrett already checked it out and decided that people are still willing to pay for the kind of high quality baked goods that Edna's Edibles offers. When Tootie and Natalie look satisfied with that explanation and imply that they consider Jo to be largely in charge while Mrs. Garrett continues to "vacation" off camera, Blair huffily argues that she should be the one in charge. Jo shrugs disinterestedly and says, "Go for it", while Natalie and Tootie stare worriedly into space...then even more worriedly when Blair imperiously declares that she demands total loyalty and support from her subordinates.
Blair's dad drops by Edna's Edibles and is thrilled when he learns that his daughter has declared herself Interim Overlord of Edna's Edibles. She happily tells him she's super excited about all the changes she plans to implement - but he cautions her to first do a lot listening to the underlings.
Early the next morning, Blair summons Natalie and Tootie to the kitchen to begin their first work day under her regime. She tells them she's been studying the efficiency level at Edna's Edibles and has found it to be sucky to the point of embarrassment...and says this as if her own work performance has had no part in the low functioning of the store. She orders Natalie and Tootie to put on hairnets and then rapidly roll croissant dough so she can time them while blaring kabuki music [the way they do to Japanese workers in one of her father's Tokyo factories]. Natalie and Tootie flail about as they do their best to quickly flatten the dough, but get too flustered to generate anything that's worth baking in the oven.
That evening, Blair sashays into the store and decrees that Edna's Edibles will stay open until 11pm and offer free "bottomless" coffee refills, the way Croissant My Heart does. Jo points out that it's unnecessary to do that 'cause business is fine, and Tootie and Natalie tell Blair they can't work late tonight 'cause they both have dates. Blair reminds them that Mrs. Garrett doesn't permit them to go out on dates during the week and demands that they cancel, and they're all, "Screw you!" and throw their aprons at her before storming out. When Blair stares helplessly at Jo, Jo shrugs disinterestedly and tells her she can't force people to follow her decrees, then breaks the news that she can't work tonight either 'cause she has a student council meeting on campus.
Blair is run off her feet, pouring free coffee refills for customers, when Papa Warner drops by. She breezily explains that she's stretched so thin 'cause she gave the staff the night off...then sheepishly admits that they angrily walked out on her when she got too dictatorial. She explains that she's trying to match the low prices and late hours of service as their main competitor, and Papa Warner scrunches his face concernedly and says he's worried that she's in over her head. He offers to pitch in with some of the baking, but she declines and says she's determined to succeed on her own.
Blair continues to rush around the store serving customers, and gets groped by a college hockey player who's bitter about losing tonight's game. When he and his friend announce that they're going to blow off steam by shooting pucks inside the store, Blair yells at them to leave - just as Andy, Kevin, Tootie, and Natalie enter the store. Kevin attempts to take control of the situation and barks at the hockey players to get out...and when the hockey players puff up their little chests and threaten to punch his lights out, Blair grabs a can of air freshener and threatens them with a scented face spritz if they don't leave immediately. The hockey players are all, "Ack!" and beat a hasty retreat, and Kevin gushingly tells Blair how impressed he is by her handling of the scary situation. Jo enters the store with Papa Warner, who gave her a ride home from Langley, and is pleasantly surprised when she opens the cash register and sees how much extra business Blair brought in by staying open until 11pm. Papa Warner looks impressed and tells Blair he clearly underestimated her businesswoman prowess. She grins and informs him that she's applying for an internship at a design firm that competes with Warner Industries...and he looks momentarily startled by the sassy act of self empowerment before warmly wishing her good luck.
Recap: It's Alumni Week at Langley College...and in the absence of Mrs. Garrett (who continues to enjoy her off camera "vacation"), the Facts gals are bustling around the store, baking and serving tarts to their hungry customers. Blair's mom (Monica) arrives, gives her daughter an air kiss, and tells her she'll be in Peekskill all week for the alumni festivities. Blair perks up at the prospect of spending some quality time with her mom this episode and invites her to bunk in Mrs. Garrett's vacant room.
Later, an exhausted Jo, Tootie, and Natalie are lounging in the living room while Monica schools Blair on how best to polish her fingernails. A few seconds later, Jo's dad (Charlie) drops by unexpectedly and tells Jo that the territory for his auto parts salesman job has just been expanded to include Peekskill, so he figured he'd stop in and say hello. Monica greets him and reminds him they met during Season 4's graduation two-parter...and he's like, "Oh yeah..", then turns his attention to Jo and offers to treat her to dinner. Jo declines and explains that she and the rest of the Facts gals have too much baking to do for tomorrow's Edna's Edibles pastry rush, so Tootie suggests to Monica and Charlie that they go out and have dinner together. Jo and Blair are all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?" as Charlie mulls that over and decides 'sure, why the hell not?' Monica says she's game and tells Charlie there's plenty of time to change his jacket if he doesn't want to enter a restaurant dressed in his uncouth leather jacket/tie ensemble, and he deadpans, "If it's too dressy I can always take it off." Once they're out of hearing range, Natalie squeals giddily and points out Charlie and Monica are both single and could therefore fall madly in love and leap head-first into a disastrously ill-thought-out marriage - but Blair makes an ew face and reminds her it's just one dinner, and that the two have absolutely nothing in common.
Four hours later, Jo and Blair are sitting on the couch, glaring into space as they impatiently wait for Monica and Charlie to return from dinner...and a few seconds later, the two burst through the door, giggling about the amaaaaaazing time they had at dinner. Charlie apologizes to Jo for being out so late, and Monica concurs and says that time slipped by while Charlie regaled her with one hilarious story after another. She blushingly describes him as "vastly amusing", then bids Blair a good night before going upstairs to bed.
In the kitchen, Charlie tells Jo he had a great time tonight, and describes Monica as "a classy broad" who treated him to an expensive, multi-course dinner while educating him about the ins and outs of the rich people fingernail polishing process.
At bedtime, Tootie and Natalie press Jo and and Blair for all the juicy details about the dinner date...and Blair concedes that while it wasn't technically a date, it did seem to go very well. Natalie giddily points out that the dinner could be the start of something big...and by big, she means a foolhardy rush to get married, which by default would make sisters out of Jo and Blair. The two look intrigued as they mutely contemplate the prospect of adding an exciting new layer to the non-hetero undercurrents that perpetually simmer just beneath the surface of their spicy friendship.
Blair and Monica return from a shopping trip, and Monica pulls out a fancy tie and handkerchief set and happily says she bought it for Charlie. She invites Blair to dinner...and when Blair has to decline 'cause she's too busy studying for finals, Monica decides to call up Charlie and see what he's up to tonight. Charlie tells her he has no plans and suggests they go bowling, and Monica chirps, "I'd love to!" and agrees to meet him at 6:30pm. As Jo scowls disapprovingly, Natalie points out that if Charlie and Monica get married she'll likely have access to a lot of dough...and an irked Blair grumps about how unfair it is that the union wouldn't serve to benefit her in any way. She suggests to Jo that they join Monica and Charlie on one of their "dates" so they can more closely examine how the two interact in a social setting, and Jo's like 'since I have nothing better to do with my time during finals week, why the hell not?'
After an evening out, Jo bitchily remarks to Blair that Monica is clearly "making a play" for her dad. Blair haughtily denies that and calls Charlie crude, so Jo retorts that Monica is a spoiled airhead whose entire life revolves around getting her hair and nails done. Blair counter-retorts that she bets Charlie would just looooove to get his hands on her mom's money, and Jo snaps back that money is the only way an over-the-hill socialite like Monica is ever going to attract a man. Ouch. And meow, Jo.
Later, Jo finds Blair studying in the living room, apologizes for her earlier bitchitude, then says she's beginning to think that Natalie might be right about future wedding bells for Monica and Charlie. Blair concedes that her mother could do a lot worse than hook up with a streetwise boor like Charlie...and after mulling over that disturbing possibility, the two agree to give their parents their blessing to wed after enjoying dinner out together three times.
The next evening over coffee and dessert, Blair remarks on the blossoming friendship that has developed between Monica and Charlie, and that it's obvious how much joy they bring to each other. Jo concurs, then stands up so that she and Blair can put their arms around each other and simultaneously declare, "You have our blessing." Monica stares back at them blankly and goes, "For what?" - LOL - and Blair replies, "To get married." Charlie and Monica burst out laughing at the ludicrousness of two middle-aged divorced people leaping into a marriage simply because they've enjoyed hanging out together for the last few days...so Blair reminds them they've practically been inseparable this episode. Monica waves a dismissive hand in the air and says they've merely been having some fun times together, and that neither of them has even entertained the notion of extending the friendship into anything beyond a short-lived Facts subplot.
Charlie announces that he has to head back to the city, then jokingly tells Monica to let him know where she wants to go for their honeymoon. Monica lightly chuckles and kisses the top of her daughter's head...then kisses the top of Jo's head while joking, "And for the one who got away."
Recap: The Facts gals are about to leave for the drive-in...and their feelings about it being bulldozed tomorrow range from the despondent (Natalie) to the utterly indifferent (Tootie). Natalie reminds the gals that she wrote several editorials for the local newspaper, imploring the community to save this precious institution, then says she regrets not doing more. Blair says she's looking forward to experiencing the drive-in for the first/only time 'cause she's in the mood to slum it with the common folk for one evening. Jo informs her that they'll be taking Mrs. Garrett's Volkswagen, and that it's a time-honored tradition to sneak in someone via the trunk...and that tonight, she (Blair) is going to be that someone.
Upon arriving at the drive-in, Jo, Tootie, and Natalie head straight to the snack bar...and quickly realize that they forgot to let Blair out of the trunk. A few seconds later, Blair staggers into the snack bar looking dirty and disheveled - but cheers up when Jo offers to treat her to some movie snacks.
Natalie runs into the owner of the drive-in, Mr. Lowell, and tells him that she's the Natalie Green who's been writing editorials in an attempt to save the drive-in. Mr. Lowell says that after thirty years he's more than ready to call it quits and retire to Arizona, and was therefore delighted when a second hand clothing chain submitted an offer to buy the land so they could build another store. Natalie stares wistfully into space and tells him she had so many good times at his drive-in over the years, and he dismissively waves a hand in the air and tells her to do what everyone else in the '80s is doing for movie entertainment: rent cassettes.
Natalie agonizes to Tootie about the imminent demise of her beloved drive-in...and Tootie multitasks by coquettishly waving at a cute guy who's standing at the counter and telling Natalie how her lawyer parents once saved an old schoolhouse: get the local historical society to declare it a landmark, then file for an injunction. Natalie's like, "That's brilliant!" and rushes over to the nearest pay phone to get the ball rolling.
As Jo gives Blair a crash course on the best snacks to mix together to guarantee the most satisfying movie watching experience, Natalie informs Mr. Lowell that her Save the Drive-in petition needs five hundred signatures in order to have a chance of it being declared a landmark...and he scrunches his face in puzzlement as to why she'd want to do anything to mess with his Arizona retirement plans.
When the film for Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? gets tangled up in the projector, Tootie complains about how the universe is conspiring to prevent her from seeing this film...and Natalie uses the impromptu intermission as an opportunity to collect more signatures.
Two dorky teens approach Blair and Jo and invite the two to join them for the rest of the movie, and Blair shoots them a seriously? look and turns them down in the most disparaging way possible. Mr. Lowell sits idly by as souvenir hunters brazenly swipe items off of his counter, and Jo decides to get in on that action and looks around for something desirable to steal. Blair remarks that she needs to use the bathroom, and obliviously cuts to the front of the long line.
Natalie earnestly asks moviegoers to sign her Save the Drive-in petition, and they provide her with a fun variety of cartoon character names.
Blair shuffles out of the bathroom with her blazer tied around her backwards and explains to Jo that an angry woman did this to her in retaliation for not waiting her turn in the bathroom line. A few seconds later, Tootie runs over to announce that Mrs. Garrett's Volkswagen has been stolen!
Blair expresses shock that anyone would go to the trouble of stealing such a shitty car - just as Natalie realizes with horror that she was the one who left the keys in the ignition. Tootie, meanwhile, begs Jo to help the projectionist fix the film so that she can finally see the rest of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
Blair runs into the woman - Moon Unit Zappa! - who rearranged her blazer for her, and is promptly threatened with bodily harm if she doesn't leave the premises immediately. Blair grabs Tootie and introduces her to Moon Unit as one of the many loyal friends who accompanied her to the drive-in...but a wincing Tootie slinks off, disinterested in Blair's plight. After Moon Unit stalks off, Blair rushes over to the pay phone to call a cab...then is all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?" when she learns it'll be a two hour wait.
Jo is discreetly trying to unscrew one of the drive-in's barstools to take as a souvenir while Natalie continues to collect signatures.
Two police officers arrive at the drive-in to investigate the theft of Mrs. Garrett's Volkswagen, and Blair throws herself into the arms of one of them and begs them to rescue her from this horrible place. The officers offer to give the Facts gals a lift home, but Tootie declines and says she's determine to stay as long as it takes for her to find out Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. The officers are like, "OK, whatever" and rush off when they get an emergency call. Blair runs into the dorky teens she insulted earlier and says she's now interested in being in their company for protection...but after being snubbed by Dork 1 and giving Dork 2 a careful once over, she decides she'd much rather risk a beating by Moon Unit Zappa. She calls for a cab again and tells the dispatcher that her need for a ride home has become a matter of life and death.
Natalie is finding it impossible to collect five hundred signatures, so she's resorted to forging names, which Tootie warns is fraud.
Moon Unit Zappa is incensed when she sees that Blair is still at the drive-in and empties a bucket of popcorn over her head before placing the bucket atop her head like a helmet. Blair grabs the nearest thing she can defend herself with - a mop - and blindly swings it in Moon Unit's direction, knocking her off her feet. The Facts gals rush over and ask what just happened, and Blair glances over at a fearful looking Moon Unit and says she had no choice but to deck the popcorn toting assailant. As Moon Unit scurries off, Blair clutches the mop and triumphantly pronounces, "I did what I had to do."
Natalie calls Jo out for trying to steal a barstool and asks her why she's doing that in the midst of her Save the Drive-in campaign. Jo shrugs and tells her that, in the VCR era, people don't really want to go to the drive-in anymore.
The police officers return and report that they were able to locate the stolen Volkswagen, and that it's only minimally damaged. The gals, Tootie included, agree that they're ready to go home now...and a newly confident Blair tells the cops that ever since [accidentally] fending off Moon Unit Zappa with a mop, she's been thinking about joining the force. Mr. Lowell presents Natalie with the iconic pizza clock that has hung in the drive-in for the last thirty years in exchange for giving up on her petition and allowing him to peacefully retire, and she thanks him and bids the drive-in a wistful adieu.
Recap: The Facts gals (minus Jo) and Andy are in the attic of the Edna's Edibles building, cleaning out all the dust and grime like they promised Mrs. Garrett they'd do while she's off vacationing in Tucson with Ted. A few seconds later, Jo arrives with Kevin and says she has no time to help them clean the attic 'cause she has to help Kevin look for a new apartment now that his roommates have given him the heave-ho. He asks the gals if they have any ideas about where he could live...and as Tootie and Natalie quickly reply, "Nope!", Jo glances around contemplatively and suggests he move into the attic. Kevin perks up at that idea and promises to help clean it up, prompting Tootie to glare at Jo and propose that the four of them discuss the matter in private.
Blair says she has no problem with Kevin moving in so long as she can fob off her least desirable chores on him, while Natalie argues that having a man living in the house would upset the delicate balance the show's producers have struck [in keeping these four living and working under the same roof while under the supervision of a housemother for nine relentless seasons]. Tootie worries about being labelled a trollop when people learn that a man is now living in such close quarters to them, but then agrees to call Mrs. Garrett to find out whether or not she approves of the proposed living arrangements. They phone her while she's hot tubbing with Ted [visual alert], and she says she's of the mind that any son of Ted's is welcome to live in her building. A dismayed Tootie primly tells the gals she'll force herself to be all right with the impropriety of Kevin co-habitating with them if everyone else is fine with it.
Kevin enters the room and assures the gals that they're under no pressure to give him the green light to move in - but then drops to his knees and throws his arms around Natalie's legs, begging to be allowed to stay. Natalie shakes him off her legs and tells him they've all agreed to give it a go.
The next morning, Kevin is shaving in the kitchen while donning a skimpy bathrobe (!) when a groggy looking Blair shuffles in with curlers in her hair. It takes her a few minutes to fully comprehend that she's in in full view of Kevin in a pre-coiffed state, and scrunches her face in horror while declaring to Kevin that she adamantly refuses to change her morning grooming routine just to accommodate him. He's like, "Uh, OK..?" and continues shaving - just as Tootie enters the kitchen and admonishes Kevin for shaving in full view of whoever happens to be walking past the window...then orders him to find a less skimpy bathrobe to parade around in. Natalie breezes in wearing a silky yellow pyjama ensemble in full makeup and expertly styled hair, and pretends she just fell out of bed looking this fabulous. An oblivious Kevin loudly gargles, then swallows the mouthwash, which - ack! - is not advisable, so please don't try this at home.
Jo wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of blaring music and goes up to the attic to see whassup with all the racket. Kevin points to his boombox and says he can't seem to shut it off, so Jo easily remedies that problem by unplugging it, then warns him he needs to keep the decibel level down after midnight - not least 'cause the other Facts gals weren't exactly thrilled about him moving in. Kevin sheepishly says, "I know" and reveals that he's been privy to their conversations 'cause he's been able to eavesdrop on them through the vents. Jo heads off to bed and momentarily panics when the door jams from the inside. She bellows at Blair to come up and let her out, then seats herself on the large trunk beside Kevin. He thanks her for making him feel so welcome...then leans in and gives her a smooch as the scene fades to black for a commercial break.
Blair enters the room and asks Jo if she needs help...but when she sees Jo and Kevin in an unmistakable lip lock, she's all, "Ack!" and hastily rushes back out.
Blair asks Jo whassup with her and Kevin kissing, then asks her if she wanted Kevin to move in 'cause they have a thing. As an intrigued Natalie and Tootie are all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?!", Jo tells them to keep their voices down 'cause Kevin can hear everything they say through the vents...and Kevin confirms this by yelling through the vents that, yep, he's had no problems eavesdropping on them ever since moving in. LOL. Jo tells the gals that nothing happened between her and Kevin, and that their friendship is strictly platonic, but Blair points out that Kevin clearly has some non-platonic feelings for her...then muses about how puzzling it is that, out of the four of them, Kevin was somehow attracted to the most mannish.
The next day, Jo tells the gals that her attempt to "dump" Kevin went awry when he failed to get the message and proceeded to ask her out to lunch. Kevin enters the room and invites Jo to go out with him tonight, but she tells him she has plans to attend a quilting bee that shuns men - LOL - and he's like, "Bummer" and says he'd hoped they'd go to a basketball game together.
Later, Kevin is in the communal bedroom, ironing Blair's soaking wet wool sweater. When Natalie enters the room and asks him what in blazes he's doing, he explains that he wanted to do something nice for them, so he figured 'why not throw all of their dirty laundry into the washing machine, and then iron the stuff instead of using a dryer?' Blair, who's been looking everywhere for her favorite red sweater, enters the room and gasps in horror at the sight of Kevin twisting the sweater to wring all the water out. He obliviously tosses it onto the ironing board and says he has to head off to class now, but will finish up the laundry when he gets back.
Later, Jo heads up to the attic to once again tell Kevin she's not into him...but gets flustered when she finds him hanging out with a pretty blonde woman named Diane. Kevin cheerily introduces the two and tells Jo he just met Diane at the local drugstore and liked the cut of her jib so much that he invited her over.
Tootie is busily writing up a list of rules for Kevin to follow if he insists on living under their roof - when Jo bursts into the communal bedroom and shrieks, "He has a girl upstairs!" Blair looks visibly amused at Jo's obvious jealousy, but Jo denies being jealous and says she's mostly irked at making a giant arse of herself in front of the drugstore clerk. Kevin overhears the conversation and yells at Jo through the vent to come back upstairs for a tête-à-tête.
Kevin apologizes to Jo for the embarrassing encounter with Diane, then explains that when he's attracted to a woman, it's hard for him to remain just friends. Jo points out that men and women who like each other can be just friends, and Kevin perks up at that notion and asks her if their friendship can include kissing - but she's like, "Uh, no" as the other Facts gals file into the attic. Tootie tells Kevin she's come up with some house rules - e.g. no more doing their laundry - and as she reads the list, he assures her he's A-OK with whatever kind of stringency they want to impose on him.