Recap: The episode begins in Ms. Grant's dance class...and - shocker - Leroy is flailing about in his short shorts, while Bruno is on the piano, filling in for the regular musician. Ms. Grant barks at her students to leap higher! faster! better! ...and when the song finally ends, everyone collapses to the floor in exhaustion. Ms. Grant tells them their dancing was pretty good, but she wants them to do the routine again. Leroy's like, "Nuh uh!" and complains that it's too hard to dance when the tempo of the music keeps changing, then glares over at Bruno. Bruno retorts with a sassy jab that makes everybody laugh, and Ms. Grant assures Bruno he's doing a fine job maintaining a good tempo. One of the dancers, Kathy (it's the sister with the really long hair from Eight is Enough!), flounces across the room to get a towel...and while she's doing that, she eyes Bruno appreciatively. Ms. Grant asks Kathy to stick around after class 'cause she needs to talk to her about something important, then asks Bruno to stick around too. Over in the office, Danny is arguing with his drama teacher, Mr. Crandall, about assigning him to do a love scene with Julie Miller. Miss Sherwood butts in and goes, "Don't you want to develop some versatility?" and Danny gives her a WTF? look and snaps, "No!" Mr. Crandall refuses to budge on the issue and tells Danny to just shut up and do the assignment. Danny grumbles about how unfair it is...blah blah, then storms out of the room like the badly tempered little bitch he is. When Miss Sherwood scrunches her face in confusion, Mr. Crandall explains that Danny's gotten himself all worked up because he's been assigned to perform a love scene with Julie, who's probably at least a foot taller than he is. Haha! Bruno watches Ms. Grant tell Kathy something, which results in Kathy squealing and jumping up and down with joy. Ms. Grant's like, "Chillax girrrl!" and tells her it's just a tryout with no guarantees. Bruno grumpily asks Ms. Grant why she asked him to stay after class, so she explains that she handpicked Kathy to audition for the Tyler Troupe, and she has a good chance of touring with the dance company. Hold on a damn minute - doesn't the School of the Arts have an official rule, which was sternly invoked just three episodes ago, when Coco auditioned for a Broadway play? Here's an excerpt from my recap from the Passing Grade episode: Back at the School of the Arts, Ms. Grant checks herself out in the mirror as she leaps, frolics, and prances around the dance gym. Miss Sherwood enters and asks her how the audition went, and she proudly reports that she got a callback. She then spills the beans on Coco auditioning, and Miss Sherwood gasps and goes, "What was she doing there? She knows the school rules" but Ms. Grant breezily waves her hand in the air and says that half the student body goes on auditions, despite it being against the rules. She figures that Coco must be afraid she's going to blow the whistle on her, and Miss Sherwood bitchily retorts, "Maybe you should!" and points out that she'd have to drop out of school if she gets the role. So there. Ms. Grant tells Bruno that the people on the troupe's audition board have heard every piece of classical music there is, so she thought it might give Kathy an edge if she had an original score to dance to. Bruno glumly replies that he's never even heard of the Tyler Troupe and has no idea how to write music for a dancer...but when he gives Kathy a thorough once over, he decides she's cute enough to be worth the effort. The two arrange to meet in the cafeteria later, and Kathy scampers off excitedly. Ms. Grant stares at Bruno with her eyebrows raised and asks him if he's sweet on Kathy, and he grunts something unintelligible and lumbers off in his usual mopey fashion. Bruno ambles over to the cafeteria and finds his schoolmates - Leroy, Coco, and Kathy - performing in one of the school's usual impromptu lunch time dance shows. When Kathy spots Bruno, she runs over to him, and the two find a quiet table. He starts the conversation by grumpishly declaring he's not a miracle worker - but she cuts him off and says she plans to tell Ms. Grant that a music/dance partnership between the two of them isn't going to work out. He's all, "Wuh?" so she reminds him that he openly admitted he's never heard of the Tyler Troupe - egads! - and that it's "pretty basic stuff". She says anyone who doesn't know every major dance troupe in the country couldn't possibly write music to accompany her dancing. Bruno's like, "Seriously?" then starts quizzing her on some obscure jazz musician...and of course she's never heard of him and gets the point that neither of them knows (or cares) very much about the other's art. Julie asks Miss Sherwood if she'd ask Mr. Crandall on the down low to excuse her from performing a love scene with a certain stumpy classmate, and Miss Sherwood somehow gives a rat's ass about her drama class dilemma and offers to speak to Crandall. Back in the dance gym, Kathy is doing some sample dancing for Bruno so that he can get an idea of the kind of music she's looking for. Bruno grumbles that he'd rather just write something that she'll then have to figure out how to dance to, but she insists that the music he writes needs to be tailored to her dancing, then barks, "The dancing comes first!" The two snark at each other for several minutes, blah blah...and she finally concludes that they're very much alike - meaning they're both so annoyingly obsessed with their art that they've reached the point of being inflexible and obnoxious. Bruno offers to write a tailored piece and asks her to dance again - and suddenly Papa Martelli bursts into the room and tells Bruno his cab is waiting out front. Bruno introduces him to Kathy and explains that he's writing music for her dance audition...and Papa Martelli perks up and asks if he can hang around and watch. Kathy's A-OK with that, then demonstrates to Bruno how she plans on starting her performance with some slow stuff before she builds to something dramatic. She then leap-twirls in the air...and while she's in mid-air, the camera goes all slow-mo, and she crashes to the floor and starts wailing that she hurt her knee. Bruno and Papa Martelli run across the room and hover over her uselessly until Papa Martelli suggests that they transport her to the nearest hospital in his cab. The ER doctor pokes around Kathy's knee and says, "Something's screwed up in there." LOL. He tells her they're going to take an x-ray - but in the meantime he gives her an ice-pack to keep pressed against her kneecap. After the doctor leaves, Bruno offers to call her parents, but she says she doesn't want to worry them until she knows the extent of her injury. She says, "It's not like I'm dying or anything" then starts crying about missing her opportunity to audition for the Tyler Troupe. Bruno says there'll be other auditions and that her injury doesn't seem all that serious, but she wails that it really really hurts and that she doesn't endure pain well. No duh. But you're a dancer, so suck it up. Bruno and Papa Martelli hang out in the waiting room while Kathy gets wheeled off for her x-ray. Papa Martelli wonders if maybe he spilled coffee on the dance gym floor, which caused Kathy's accident...but Bruno says he didn't see him spill any coffee and he shouldn't feel responsible. The x-ray shows no ligament damage, but the doctor tells Kathy he still wants to scope her knee. Her mother, who has since arrived at the hospital, is relieved that the injury isn't serious...but she still wrings her hands worriedly so Kathy tells her, "I don't want to rethink our decision." Hmm...something's amiss. Miss Sherwood is trying to get Mr. Crandall to change his mind about making Danny and Julie perform a love scene together, but he refuses to let them off the hook and politely reminds her that he doesn't comment on how she runs her English class. Miss Sherwood looks suitably chastened and admits she's being out of line. Mr. Crandall explains that the kids aren't really asking for help; they're asking for "an out". Meanwhile, the rest of the faculty is signing a get well card for Kathy, and Ms. Grant announces that she wants to put off the Tyler Troupe audition for a few weeks...but if she can't make that happen, she'll throw Leroy a bone and let him audition. Early the next morning, Bruno's sitting on the stairs, playing on his little portable keyboard while Kathy runs up and down the stairs to exercise her knee. Leroy comes over to say hey, then asks Kathy how her knee is doing and if she's heard anything the audition. She tells him her knee is getting better, but that she hasn't heard from the Tyler Troupe. A guy from the insurance company enters the dance gym and tells Ms. Grant he has some forms for her to sign regarding Kathy's injury. He tells her he's been tasked with making sure that there's nothing wrong with the floor - but before she has a chance to argue with him 'bout that, he assures her that there's clearly nothing wrong with it, and that he really just needs her signature to authorize Kathy's hospital stay. He then blabs that Kathy has multiple sclerosis, and Ms. Grant is all, "Wha-a?!" so the guy explains that she was diagnosed a year ago as being in the initial stages of the disease. He declares that she's never going to be a dancer, and Ms. Grant looks troubled as she contemplatively stares into space. Ms. Grant stops by Miss Sherwood's apartment looking glum. She says that Kathy's audition has been postponed, then asks her if she has any wine. Miss Sherwood heads over to her liquor cabinet, and Ms. Grant blabs to her about Kathy's MS. Bruno - who's decked out in his brown, old man sweater - invites Kathy, Doris, and Montgomery to hang in the basement of his hovel and eat pizza. The four discuss the ongoing, boring as fuck dilemma about Julie and Danny not wanting to perform a love scene in Mr. Crandall's class. Kathy thinks Julie and Danny should just shut up and figure out a way to do the scene as best they can, then says everyone has some kind of a handicap they need to deal with. She then asks the group what Bruno's main hang-up in life is, and Doris says it's that he never wants to let people listen to his music. To prove her wrong, Bruno sits at his keyboard and performs a romantic song he wrote - presumably for Kathy - and it goes on for a painfully loooong time. Halfway through the superfluous performance, Doris pokes Montgomery and points out the teary and smitten look on Kathy's face. When Bruno finally finishes, Kathy looks as though she's about to burst into tears, so Doris hustles Montgomery upstairs to give the couple some privacy. Kathy walks over to where Bruno's sitting, and he remarks, "Hey - you're not limping!" and she tearfully replies that her feet barely touched the ground...and the two start smooching. Miss Sherwood tells Ms. Grant there's no way in hell that Kathy's ever going to be able to be a dancer. Ms. Grant argues that she doesn't know what the future holds, but she doesn't want to take anything away from the girl. Miss Sherwood advises her to be realistic and not let Kathy build a life on maybe, but Ms. Grant wails about what a great dancer she is and tears up...and Miss Sherwood mutely hands her a tissue. The next morning, Mr. Shorofsky is chairing a faculty meeting - and Mr. Crandall, Ms. Grant, and Miss Sherwood are all in attendance. Mr. Shorofsky declares that the meeting will be tape recorded [so that the cassette can unwittingly fall into the wrong hands], then hits play on the machine. The meeting's only agenda item is Kathy and her MS, and Mr. Shorofsky brusquely pronounces, "She has to leave the school." Ms. Grant's all, "Wha-a?!" so he explains that spoke with the insurance guy for three hours yesterday. Apparently, the company refuses to provide coverage for the school if Kathy remains in the dance program. Ms. Grant snarks that it looks like everything's already been decided - well, d'yuh - and they flip a coin to see who gets to break the sad news to Kathy. Doris grabs Julie on her way to class and says she knows all about her love scene problems with Danny. She promises to help her through this crisis if, in exchange, she steals Bruno's music cassettes from Mr. Shorofsky's class so she can listen to his newest stuff. (That seems a tad contrived, but OK.) Julie agrees to do it, but ends up grabbing the cassettes with the recorded faculty meeting instead. Oops. Over in English class, Doris inserts the cassette into her player and puts her headphones on expecting to hear Bruno's off-key crooning...but after a few seconds she looks startled and upset, then glances over at Kathy and tears up. She abruptly exits the class and heads over to the dressing room where Bruno is moping. He notices the ashen look on her face and asks her whassup, but she doesn't answer and silently hugs him. Kathy finds Bruno in the hall and gives him a from behind hug. She tells him her knee feels a lot better and that she can't wait to get back to her dancing. Bruno tells her he finished the score for her audition, and she says she's eager to hear it - but it'll have to wait until after her conference with Mr. Shorofsky. She says she has no idea why he wants to meet with her, so Bruno lays it all on the table and says, "They know. And so do I." Kathy pretends she has no idea what he's talking about...but the jig is up pretty quick, 'cause in the next scene they're sitting in the dressing room, openly talking about her MS. She says she wants to go as far as she can with her dancing - until her disease forces her to stop. Bruno advises her to "take a long term view" and lower her sights, but she starts nattering about how she's like a butterfly "that's about spring and summer and about being pretty...not about taking long term views". She declares that Mr. Shorofsky can't kick her out of school and insists, "They have to judge me on now." (They don't, actually. Especially if the insurance company refuses to cover the school if you remain in the dance program.) Ms. Grant tells Leroy that the Tyler Troupe is coming to the school this week, and she wants him to audition. Leroy makes a face and sarcastically retorts, "Great." Ms. Grant tells him to adjust his 'tude, so he asks her if he's getting the audition because he's the best dancer in the school...or if it's because he's Kathy's replacement. Ms. Grant stares sheepishly into space, so he grimaces and says, "That's what I figured" and storms out. Mr. Crandall and Miss Sherwood spy on Julie and Danny as they rehearse their love scene - which they're doing by continually climbing over a couch and coffee table. LOL. Mr. Crandall explains that they're doing "creative staging" and that they're never on the same level at the same time...'cause yeah, that's super realistic. Apparently, they also built a ramp behind the sofa so that Danny doesn't look too stumpy when he kisses Julie. Fantastic. Kathy arrives for her meeting with Mr. Shorofsky in high spirits. She babbles about how dancing is the most important thing in her life, and that she can't imagine giving it up. Like, ever. Mr. Shorofsky just stares at her mutely...and in the next scene, he ambles into the office and tells Miss Sherwood that he's heading over to the nearest bar. He explains that he decided to be a mensch today and helped Kathy change her major...so - ta da! - she's now a temporary music major who plays the tambourine and might opt to take a dance class from time to time. Er...OK - but wouldn't she have to re-audition to officially enter the school as a tambourine player? That evening, the faculty and audition board of the Tyler Troupe arrive at the school...and they're gabbling excitedly when Leroy enters the room, fake limping. Ms. Grant's all, "What's wrong with you, boy?" and he silently points at his bandaged foot. He tells her he just sprained his ankle, which means he won't be able to audition for the troupe after all...and the camera pans all the way down so that viewers can stare at his bandaged foot for what seems like an unnecessarily long time. He shrugs and goes, "Sorry. Maybe next year" and quietly hobbles out. The Tyler Troupe people tell the faculty that they can't postpone their auditions anymore...and Mr. Crandall offers them some coffee, so they all head toward the staff lounge. As they amble down the hallway, Doris suddenly appears out of nowhere and invites the Tyler Troup possee to take their seats - then points at a row of chairs that have been set up in the hallway. A few feet away, Bruno and his band are assembled...and a group of dancers wearing white body stockings, with Kathy in the center, suddenly appear and start leaping and flailing about. Ms. Grant looks very impressed with Kathy's elegant dancing skills...though the accompanying music that Bruno wrote sounds like a rip-off of some really boring elevator muzak. Leroy suddenly appears as one of the backup dancers (in tights!), clearly uninjured, and Miss Sherwood is all "Wha-a?!" while Ms. Grant just smiles and shakes her head affectionately. After the impromptu audition, everyone applauds...and the faculty and students clump together for a big group hug with Kathy in the middle. Bruno watches them at a distance for a few seconds, then shuffles off down the hall. I'm not sure if he's expressing his usual state of mopiness, or if he's bummed that Kathy will likely be selected as the newest member of the Tyler Troupe and never be heard from again. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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Recap: The students are gathered in front of the School of the Arts, showcasing their latest dance moves. Leroy, who (thankfully) is modestly dressed in a tank top and baggy sweats, is gyrating his torso suggestively and flailing his taut limbs around while the spectators all clap and bop along. Inside, Montgomery is typing up an information sheet about the school's 7th Annual Benefit, and we learn that he's in charge of the entire audition process. Incidentally, I wonder what Montgomery's performing arts skill could possibly be? Maybe drama, like Doris. Bruno's sitting in the back of his father's cab, getting a ride to school. Papa Martelli tells his son he's concerned that he's rehearsing too much, and warns him that his music could get stale if he keeps playing it over and over again. Bruno dreamily replies, "Making music is like making love - it always gets better" and Papa Martelli's all, "Wha-a?!" and has to swerve to avoid hitting a group of construction men, then spills coffee all over his pants. Leroy chides Coco for reading the trades, but she insists it's her bible. She tells him her band (meaning Bruno's band) is looking for a gig, so Leroy hands her a crumpled piece of paper and abruptly dashes off somewhere. Just before Papa Martelli drops Bruno off at school, he chides him for never wanting to perform for people...but Bruno just shrugs and says he's passive in his fervent hope that his musical genius will somehow get around "by word of mouth". As soon as he enters the building, Coco rushes over to him, hands him the crumpled piece of paper she got from Leroy, and excitedly asks, "Whaddya think about this gig for the band?" Bruno glances at it, makes a blech face, then hands it back to her without replying. Coco begs him to reconsider auditioning for the 7th Annual Benefit show and points out that it would be great exposure...but he's just like, "Meh" and makes it clear that he has no desire to perform in front of anyone. Ever. Danny, with his girlish, feathered '80s 'do, is practicing a stand-up schtick about the hardships of being short while using a hanging light as a pretend microphone. Montgomery enters the room and quietly watches the grisly act. Danny starts telling a joke about the Bronx, then stops when he realizes it sucks. It's a relief to know that he has at least some self awareness. He spots Montgomery standing at the back of the room and pretends as though he's there to check the stage's lighting. Montgomery shows him his information sheet and invites him to audition for the Benefit show. Doris lectures Julie about how important it is to be skilled in as many performing arts disciplines as possible. She's somehow deluded herself into believing that when her big chance comes, she'll be filled with so much adrenaline that she'll magically be awesome at everything! The two discuss Mr. Shorofsky's midterm proficiency exams, and Doris remarks on how nerve wracking it is to get up in front of everyone and perform. Bruno, who's ambling down the hall, overhears her and glumly hangs his head. He tells Julie he thought that Shorofsky's exams were performed privately, but Julie informs him that he suddenly changed that policy - which means everyone has to perform their proficiency exam in front of the class. Egads! Bruno furrows his brows and looks troubled. In drama class, Doris is performing a scene with Danny and two extras...and for some reason, Danny's wearing an unspeakable looking crop top. Maybe he's playing the role of a man who likes showing off his untoned abs. Doris botches the scene 'cause she appears way too emotionless for a doctor who's just lost a patient on the operating table...and after she listlessly delivers her lines, the drama teacher stares at her in bewilderment and goes, "Doris?! What are you doing?" She tells him she concocted a backstory about the doctor and decided that he's too overworked and tired to display any emotions. The teacher orders her to put more feeling into the performance...then hints that she should maybe sing at the upcoming audition in lieu of showcasing her sucky acting abilities. Proficiency exams are underway in Mr. Shorofsky's music class. Bruno looks freaked when his name is called...and he lumbers over to the piano and just sits there numbly. After a few more seconds of nothingness, Mr. Shorofsky impatiently says, "We are waiting, Mr. Martelli." Bruno looks nervous and makes a couple of false starts - and when he does finally start playing, the music sounds terrible. Over in the dance gym, Ms. Grant is leading her class in a painful looking abs strengthening exercise. She barks, "It hurts! It's supposed to hurt. There's no gain without strain." Mercifully the bell rings, and Coco runs over to the bulletin board, tears off a flyer, then slips out of the room. After class, Bruno glumly tells Mr. Shorofsky that his proficiency exam performance sucked, and Mr. Shorofsky's like, "Well, d'yuh." He reminds Bruno that he's played in front of his classmates lots of times and never sucked that badly, so Bruno explains that it's different in an exam situation 'cause it feels like he's in a courtroom. Mr. Shorofsky says at some point he's going to have to embrace playing his music for people...and Bruno looks contemplative as he mulls that over. He runs into Coco in the hallway, and she excitedly tells him they need to sign up for the Benefit auditions 'cause the event gets advertised in the New York Times. Bruno grumps, "I don't want to" and she gets irked and calls him a rat fink. She reminds him that the guys he's been rehearsing with desperately want to play in the show, but he continues to not give a rat's ass. As he shuffles off in his usual dejected manner, Coco shrieks after him, "That's fine! That's really fine, Bruno!" It's audition time! Some dork we've never seen before is playing the accordion while dancing, but Montgomery isn't impressed by the weird combination and tells him to stop. Coco cuts in line, then slips into the audition room and hands Montgomery a cassette tape (hee! remember those?). She explains that Bruno's too much of a fraidy cat to audition and asks if she can just submit a tape of his music instead. Montgomery is hesitant and says that technically it's against the rules, but then agrees to listen to it. The next person to audition is Doris, and when Montgomery asks her to state her name, she shoots him the stink eye and says, "Eva Peron." Montgomery runs into Leroy, who's getting caught up on his poetry reading in an empty classroom. He tells Leroy he's a sure thing for the 7th Annual Benefit show, then asks him to keep the news quiet until the flunkies who didn't make the cut find out through the official channels. Leroy grins happily. Bruno and Papa Martelli are in the basement of their hovel, discussing their greatest fears in life. For Papa Martelli it's heights. He tells Bruno he should get in the habit of playing his music without headphones on so he can share his talent with the world more. Bruno takes his advice and looks positively orgasmic while he performs a lame sounding song about how "the whole world is laughing at you" (which it probably is since you insist on playing the keyboard with an orgasmic expression on your face). Papa Martelli smiles and nods approvingly...and the song blends into the next scene, where Bruno is performing it in one of the music rooms at school. Mr. Shorofsky listens to him from the doorway, then asks him why he wasn't able to perform that well during his proficiency exam...and Bruno's like, "I dunno." Montgomery posts the audition results, then scurries over to Ms. Grant and Miss Sherwood to lament about how much he hates being the bearer of bad news for the students who weren't chosen to be in the show. Ms. Grant looks over the cast list and points out something to Miss Sherwood, who then tells Montgomery that he has even more bad news to deliver. Doris is thrilled when she learns she made it in the show and yelps, "I made it!" but when Danny doesn't find his name on the list, he snarks, "I didn't, and that's dumb." He bellyaches to Julie about how dumb it is that his dumb act didn't make it into the show, but Doris' dumb act did...then storms off like the impertinent little bitch he is. Montgomery tells Leroy that since his grades are in the toilet, he won't be permitted to perform in the show. Leroy reacts all bitchy and growls at him, so Montgomery reminds him that he doesn't make up the rules. Leroy bellows, "That don't do nuthin' for me! That don't do nuthin' for me!" Montgomery offers him a gig as a helper for the show, and Leroy snarks, "A helper?! Do I look like a helper to you?" then stomps off angrily. Montgomery scrunches his face in misery and mutters, "I hate this job." Leroy bumps into Bruno, which causes him to drop his music sheets. As the two bend down to pick up the papers, Leroy grumbles, "I ain't in no mood for socializing" and tells Bruno about how he got "aced out" of the show...even though he has only himself to blame for his shitty grades. Bruno expresses his condolences, but Leroy bitterly retorts that he has no reason to feel bad, since his band is in the show. Bruno's all, "Wha-a?!" then realizes that Coco must have pulled some strings during the audition process. He mutters, "I'll kill her.." In drama class, Doris redoes the scene where she's a doctor - but this time she delivers a performance that's unrealistically over emotional, which includes a lot of fake weeping. The drama teacher stares at her, befuddled, and goes, "Doris?! What are you doing?" She tells him she's now decided that the doctor was having an affair with the person who just died on the operating table...and he just stares back at her in mute shock. Danny asks Coco if he can play in her band during the Benefit show, but she's like, "Ew. No" and once again he storms off. She heads over to the music room where Bruno's playing something shrill and terrible on the keyboard. She sheepishly asks him if he's pissed off at her for submitting his tape at the audition, and he's like, "Well d'yuh" and accuses her of ignoring his phobia about performing music in public. I do not get why a wet blanket like Bruno attends a performing arts school if he's so stubbornly unwilling to ever perform his art. Coco tells him that a group of talent agents will be at the event and excitedly adds, "This is big time stuff!" But Bruno doesn't care about agents or being in a show...and shuffles off in search of a rock he can hide under. Leroy enters the teachers' lounge and recites poetry for Miss Sherwood. She tells him it sounds nice and everything, but she's still not giving him the extra credit that'll make him eligible to perform in the show. Well that's just bitchy and mean. Leroy tells her that everyone wants him to be in the show, then informs her that he's been appointed as Montgomery's helper and that he's very proud of his role. Er...OK. Wasn't he just angrily snarking to Montgomery about how much he didn't look like a helper, like five minutes ago? Leroy's in the dance gym, staring sadly at himself in the mirror. Danny enters the room and sits on the floor beside him, and the two commiserate about not being in the Benefit show. Leroy pretends to be sooo over it and says he doesn't need the dumb show, 'cause he can do his thing anywhere...and Danny says it's a lot tougher for him, since his art requires that he perform in front of an audience. Leroy thinks that being a comedian is easy, and dismissively says, "Anybody can tell a joke" so Danny challenges him to tell one. Leroy goes, "Have you heard the one about the white boy who could dance really good? Now that's really a joke." Danny mulls that over and declares it funny, and a few seconds later the two burst out laughing. It's probably a funnier joke than any material Danny's ever going to come up with. Bruno is orgasmically playing piano in an empty classroom when Mr. Shorofsky enters. Bruno explains that he's too terrified to perform in front of people, then says home entertainment is where it's at...and would therefore prefer it if people just bought his tape. Mr. Shorofsky insists that it's important for an artist to get feedback from a live audience 'cause artists are narcissistic and crave adulation and applause. Bruno points out that not every audience will approve of his music, then barks, "Pass!" What a moron. Montgomery and Leroy arrive at the hotel where the Benefit is being held...and soon after, Ms. Grant and the other members of the faculty arrive. Miss Sherwood says hey to Leroy, but he just grunts at her in return. She reminds the surly twerp that he didn't get kicked out of school, just the show - so he haughtily predicts that it's going to be a terrible show 'cause he's not in it...and she laughs heartily at his obnoxiously ginormous ego. Doris and Danny get into the hotel elevator with a group of extras. He offers to introduce her act, but she bitchily declines. Coco arrives at the hotel and gets all excited when she sees Bruno ambling around the ballroom. She exclaims, "I knew you'd come!" but he tells her not to get too hopeful, 'cause he's only there to deliver equipment for the band. A few seconds later, three talent agency guys arrive, and Julie makes an ass of herself gushing over them. Doris and Danny are alone in the elevator, bickering like an old married couple. Suddenly, the lights go out and the elevator gets stuck...and it looks like there's a brownout in the entire hotel. Danny, who's suddenly in need of comfort, thinks he's squeezing Doris' hand but is actually squishing her purse. The guests inside the ballroom light the candles that are on their tables, and Mr. Shorofsky beams and says the ambiance has just dramatically improved. Julie gushes to the talent agents that sitting by candlelight is very romantic, which was weird and inappropriate. Doris tries to explain to Danny that he's a stupid moron, and Danny tries to dispel that myth with some stupid and moronic jokes - but she orders him to shut it, 'cause she doesn't like to laugh while she's afraid of the dark. She asks why him he doesn't like her and always says mean things to her, and he's surprised that her impression of him is so terrible. He says he truly had no idea that he's been acting like such a rude assfuck, then admits he wanted to be in the show a lot more than he realized. She suggests that they wipe the slate clean - then introduces herself as though they've just met...and he responds with a polite retort and compliments her ugly red dress. Coco asks Bruno how long he thinks the brownout will last, and he says maybe a couple of hours. Coco's all, "Wha-a?!" and doubts that the talent agents will want to hang around that long. Bruno shrugs indifferently, and she gets irked that he doesn't give a rat's ass. Danny and Doris are canoodling on the floor of the elevator...which, ew. He tells her he likes to tell jokes 'cause he's afraid that stories about his real life wouldn't be as interesting. Well, d'yuh. She encourages him to talk about himself more (shut up, Doris), and try to come up with funny material related to stuff that's really happened to him. And now that she's feeling really warm and fuzzy toward him, she offers to let him introduce her act. In the ballroom, everyone's waiting around in the dark, twiddling their thumbs. Mr. Shorofsky remarks on how sad it is that kids today are unable to make music without electricity. Meanwhile, the three talent agents announce that they have to leave 'cause they're due at another show soon. Noooo!! Faced with the possibility of performing without the presence of talent agents, the students suddenly leap toward the stage and start an impromptu show sans electricity. One guy plays on the drums, while a bunch of dancers start leaping and twirling about. Leroy, who's dressed in a tight t-shirt and super snug jeans, takes center stage and starts singing while thrusting his pelvis. The faculty members smile and bop their heads to the beat, so I guess they're OK with Leroy being in the show despite the rule that students can't perform if their grades are too shitty. But then, this is a performing arts emergency, so rules be damned! Bruno smiles and nods over at Coco, then runs over to the piano and starts playing...and Coco gets in on the action and jumps atop the talent agents' table and shakes her booty. Leroy follows suit and jumps atop Ms. Grant's table, and soon all the students are dancing and twirling around the ballroom in perfect unison. Afterward, everyone claps enthusiastically...and the talent agents give the performance a standing ovation. Amid the applause, Mr. Shorofsky gets up and yells, "Boo! Boo!" Everyone stares at him and is all, "Wuh?" so he informs Bruno that he's just been booed. He asks him if the world ended because he just performed in front of an audience...and Bruno sheepishly says it hasn't. Mr. Shorofsky tells him that a performer has to have the courage to be bad...but then says he doesn't think he'll be booed very often. After that, everyone claps specifically for Bruno, who smiles happily for the first time in his miserable young life. Meanwhile, an exhausted looking Papa Martelli arrives with amplifiers a few seconds before the power in the hotel is fully restored. The students all rush over to help him with the equipment, and Mr. Shorofsky glumly blows out the candle on his table. Doris tells Danny that they shouldn't let their experience being trapped in an elevator go to waste, and says how great it was that they were so honest with each other. She reminds him that there are more important things in life besides egos and shows, and he agrees...in theory, anyway. The two exit the elevator together arm in arm...but when they suddenly hear someone yell, "Hey everybody! It's show time!" they both sprint toward the ballroom. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: A group of students are clumped around the front entrance of the school. Montgomery sees a cab pull up and yells, "Bruno!" then runs over. He starts gabbling about "a chick in biology", then abruptly stops when he realizes it isn't Bruno's father's cab. Two total uggos (a man and woman) climb out of the cab, and both are dressed in grey and have really bad hairdos. Montgomery apologizes and says he thought they were someone else, and the man shoots him the stink-eye and snarks, "Obviously." Someone from inside of the school calls out to the gruesome twosome and waves them over, and they rush past the gawking crowd of students and dart inside the building. Leroy sidles up to a bemused Montgomery and wryly says, "Those people are the man." Er...OK? Miss Sherwood informs her students that there will be three observers roaming around the school for the next few weeks. They represent the State Board of Education and are there to check out how well (or not) things are functioning. Ms. Grant tells her dance class students that even though they're being evaluated, it's business as usual. She warns, "No showboating or clowning around." Incidentally, I notice that Leroy is still wearing short shorts to dance class, so I'm officially giving up hope that that Ms. Grant is ever going to convince him he should buy a decent pair of tights. Over in the music department, Mr. Shorofsky tells his class that certain students have been selected to answer the observers' questions...and when Bruno asks what he means by observers, Mr. Shorofsky bluntly replies, "We have three snoops." Hee! Ms. Grant is bellowing at her class to dance harder! better! faster! The female snoop (I don't know her name, so I'll just call her Snoopette) is watching intently, and makes an oooh face when Ms. Grant gets fed up with her class and screeches, "You're hopeless!" She orders everyone to stop moving, then asks them if they have the Monday blahs and mockingly says they dance as though they're wearing hiking boots. Leroy retorts, "We ain't wearing no hiking boots, but we ain't got wings sprouting out our backs neither" and Coco chimes in and snarks, "It's legal for a dancer to have her feet on the floor once in awhile." Ms. Grant stares back at her with her usual oh no you diin't! expression, then contorts her voice as she says, "Oh...poor child. Is teacher being too hard on you, Coco baby?" Coco insists she can take it, and Ms. Grant snaps, "No you can't! None of you can!" Snoopette looks intrigued by the spectacle and takes copious notes. One of the male snoops (he's bald so I'll call him Bald Snoop) is questioning Mr. Shorofsky's music curriculum, and Mr. Shorofsky gives him a bitchy retort 'cause he's too old and crotchety to take any shit from anybody. Miss Sherwood's class is taking a test while the music class next door is being very noisy with their instruments. Bald Snoop asks Miss Sherwood if she doesn't think the noise is distracting for her students, and she breezily says, "They're used to it." Bald Snoop makes a face and says he doesn't know how anyone could ever get used to such a racket. He suggests ear plugs, but Miss Sherwood snippily informs him that she can't teach students who are wearing ear plugs. Well duh, Miss Sherwood. I think maybe he was suggesting they wear them while they're taking tests. Over in dance class, we get to watch a lot of superfluous footage of extras performing ballet moves. After the bell rings, Snoopette asks Ms. Grant where the students go to shower, and she says, "The second floor." Snoopette is all, "Wuh?" and says it's unusual to have a gymnasium located on the second floor, so Ms. Grant explains that the school doesn't have a gymnasium. Snoopette scrunches her face in surprise/disapproval/sympathy and and jots that down in her notebook. Bruno's hiding out in a dressing room, playing on his portable keyboard, while Danny sits in front of the mirror and cakes makeup on his face to try to make himself look like an old person (for what purpose, I have no idea.) Doris and Julie sneak into the room and tell the guys they're avoiding the snoops, who are currently snooping in the cafeteria. A few seconds later, they hear footsteps in the adjoining theater and head over to check it out...and they find a drunk man stumbling around. He asks them if somebody named Leroy Johnson goes to this school, then proudly announces that he's Leroy's brother, Willy. Coco runs into Leroy in the hall and tells him she has her interview with one of the snoops in a few minutes, then tells him to wish her luck. He scowls at her and barks, "Wish yourself luck. I have problems of my own." Me-ow. He enters the theater, and Willy looks him over and says he's all grown up. He mockingly asks him if he's studying to be like Gene Kelly, and Leroy ignores the jab and brusquely asks him what he wants. Willy chastises him for using such a rude tone with family, and Leroy snarkishly retorts, "We ain't much of a family." He reminds Willy about the robbery he committed and his subsequent prison term, then says he doesn't understand how or why he'd do such a dumbass thing. Willy mumbles something about getting into booze and dope after being discharged from the army, and says that all that substance abuse takes its toll on a man and makes him desperate. He tells Leroy he needs a place to crash, then guilts him about how they only have each other in this world. Leroy lets out a deep sigh and reluctantly offers to let his brother bunk with him until he gets his hot mess of a life sorted out. Willy's all, "Yippee!" while Leroy stares over at him concernedly. Coco is being interviewed by one of the male snoops, and for some reason he's sitting at the far end of the table and his entire face is obscured by a large shadow. Coco gushes about how much she loves attending the school, so he asks, "The academic part, or the fun part?" She chuckles and replies, "Dancin' ain't all fun." He asks her what she'd most like to change about the school, so she mulls that over for a few seconds and tells him that the showers don't always work. Over in the teachers' lounge, the faculty is bitching about the snooping of the snoops. Ms. Grant derisively says, "It's like they came from Mars or someplace. They have no idea what we're doing" and Miss Sherwood says the snoops probably feel like they're the ones from Mars. Mr. Shorofsky says he just hates anyone who stifles freedom and creativity, then advises his colleagues to appear friendly and cooperative. Bald Snoop suddenly enters the lounge and says he has good news: they're recommending money for the school to build a gymnasium. Mr. Shorofsky snarks, "Of all things, you're recommending that?!" Ms. Grant asks Bald Snoop if the money for the gymnasium is coming out of their existing budget, and he shrugs sheepishly and goes, "Um. Probably." She tells him they don't need a gymnasium, and he argues that State Board regulations call for an hour of PE every day. Ms. Grant cockily assures him that her dance classes are a workout and a half, and that every student is required to take some kind of movement class. Bald Snoop doesn't believe that a dance class equates to an hour of PE, and Ms. Grant haughtily declares, "There isn't a football player in this city who could make it through one of my dance classes." Julie is now being interviewed by Shadow Snoop. She tells him that at this school, students are preparing for life - whereas in podunk Michigan, high school students are merely preparing for college. Shadow Snoop asks her why she plays the cello, and she dreamily says, "It's a timeless instrument." He asks her if she'd like to talk about her home life, namely her divorced parents, and instead of telling him it's none of his damn business, she says it's been a big adjustment now that she and her mom are on their own. Shadow Snoop then asks her what she'd do if she couldn't play cello or perform, and she just scrunches her face, stares blankly into space, and offers no response. Miss Sherwood finds Leroy moping on a bench in the hall with his headphones on. She asks him if the guy who was stumbling around drunk in the theater is his actual brother...as opposed to someone he's just affectionately referring to as bruthuh. Granted, that can be confusing. Leroy gets all snarky and tells her that Willard (aka Willy) - who is, indeed, his biological brother - had been drinking 'cause he was celebrating his prison release and seeing him again. She's like, "Well, if that's true, then why are you sitting here and avoiding going home?" Leroy glares at her with his usual glarey expression and snarls at her to leave him alone. Leroy arrives at his tiny, run-down apartment and finds an audio message from Willy on his tape deck. He tells Leroy he's getting "re-established" with his old crew, and will try to get lucky tonight - so it's doubtful he'll return until morning. Leroy ambles across the room and surveys the pile of clothes his brother dumped there, then opens a drawer filled with his brother's stuff. He feels around the drawer and discovers a handgun, and stares down at it in shock. Egads! It's Doris' turn to be be interviewed, and we finally learn that she's a drama major. I guess I can buy that. She tells Shadow Snoop that her mom was an actress before she got married...then needlessly elaborates about how her parents were recently separated, but are back together now. Shadow Snoop asks her how she knows she'll succeed in this fickle business, and she says, "When I do a scene well, or get a good part." He asks her how she'd prepare to play a pregnant woman, and she jokes, "I'd get pregnant" then quickly adds, "That's ridiculous." Having listened to a few interviews, I really don't get what these State Board inspectors hope to uncover with their nonsensical lines of questioning. Coco and Leroy are in the dance gym, stretching. She asks him if he'd like some advice, and he snaps, "No!" and she ignores that and barks, "Throw him out!" She says his brother has only been out of prison a few days and already has a gun. Leroy says he's the only family Willy has, and that he doesn't want to see him get sent back to prison. Coco points out that Willy is ten years older than him, and that he was nine when he was incarcerated, so he barely knows the guy. Leroy snarks, "He's my blood!" and Coco retorts that Willy's not treating him like blood - more like dirt. She urges him to order Willy to get rid of the gun 'cause it'll cause him nothing but trouble, then storms off. Some jocks from a regular high school have arrived, and Ms. Grant discreetly tells Coco to round up all the dancers so she can prove to Bald Snoop that her students are way more physically fit than a bunch of football players. Both sets of students - who, incidentally, all look like they're well into their 30s - eye each other warily as they stretch and warm up...and Leroy makes his presence known decked out in a blue mesh top and a teeny tiny pair of short shorts. Ms. Grant leads the exercise-off with calisthenics, and Coco tries to psych out the jocks by singing, Watch My Smoke. LOL. The football players are unable to keep up with the dancers - but then, they're clearly at an unfair disadvantage since they're not familiar with the pre-rehearsed dance routine Ms. Grant has probably been teaching her class for the past several months...nor would they have developed the specific type of physical training one needs in order to perform advanced level gymnastics and mid-air split leaps. Leroy does a series of back flips (which was pretty dicey considering his short shorts) and another dancer follows that with several cartwheels. Bald Snoop looks over at the demoralized football players and concedes to Ms. Grant that it doesn't look like the school needs a gymnasium after all. Danny is now being interviewed by Shadow Snoop, and he earnestly tells him there's an art to making people laugh. He thinks it's something one is born with, and that he possesses this rare gift. (Bwahaha! The hell you do, Danny.) Shadow Snoop asks him where he's from, and he says the South Bronx, and Shadow Snoop asks him if there's anything to laugh about in the South Bronx, and Danny assures him that there's more to the borough than just crime and murders. Shadow Snoop asks him what he'd consider a big success, and Danny says he'd love to win the lottery and never have to actually work [heh...that too is a life goal of mine, Danny], then concedes that he probably won't win the lottery, so he's got to plan for some kind of career...and somehow he's gotten it into his head that he has the wit and skill to make a fruitful living as a comedian. Leroy and Willy are hanging at a pool hall, and Leroy tells him he found his gun. Willy tells him he plans to sell it for some easy cash (that actually sounds like a sensible plan, considering his options), but Leroy orders him to get rid of it and insists he's just looking out for him. Willy snarks, "I don't need no tip-toe dancer looking out for me" and Leroy scrunches his face in irritation and tells him to "back off with that" and explains that he's got a nice life going for himself: a part time job at the pool hall, an apartment he can afford, and the School of the Arts. He says he refuses to blow his shot as a dancer for something as stupid as guns or drugs, then once again orders Willy to dispose of the gun. Willy fishes the gun out of his jacket pocket and slams it onto the pool table. Leroy's like, "The hell?!" and quickly hides it in the pocket of his hoodie, then glances around the pool hall shiftily. Leroy enters a dark alley, ambles past a homeless man, and drops the gun into a dumpster. The homeless man, who's actually an undercover police officer, yells, "Hold it right there!" Leroy tries to make a break for it, but gets trapped at the other end of the alley by the cop's partner. Ms. Grant, who apparently is Leroy's emergency contact person, points out to the undercover cop that Leroy hasn't been charged with anything. The cop informs her that if the gun Leroy tried to discard in the dumpster was used in a crime, they could charge Leroy. The cop tells her she needs her to ensure that Leroy will show up for the trial if they decide to press charges against him, and Ms. Grant promises to do her best. It's Bruno's turn to be interviewed, and he grumps to Shadow Snoop about all the cliques that have been formed among the drama and dance majors, then complains that no one understands music majors. He tells Shadow Snoop that his dream is to write music that makes people feel good...and that his dad is supportive of his career as a musician, even though it may not be the most stable way of making a living. Leroy is sitting in the dressing room, glumly staring at himself in the mirror. He picks up a tube of lipstick and writes a big X on the mirror in front of his face. Bruno interrupts his pity party and informs him that pretty much the entire school knows about his arrest. Some of the kids think it's cool he had a gun, others thought he was courageous for disposing of the gun - but, overwhelmingly, most of them don't think he should go to jail for a guy he barely knows. Leroy mopishly strolls down the hallway and peeks into various classrooms, watching his classmates rehearse lines, play the piano, and dance. He continues his moping in Central Park and encounters a mime who does his best to cheer him up. After that, he lumbers back to his apartment and continues to mope there. Riveting TV. A few hours later, Willy arrives at the apartment, all happy 'cause he won $100 playing poker. Leroy informs him he's going to have to move out, then hands him enough money to find himself a place of his own. Willy goes, "That's cold, man. I'm your brother" but Leroy argues, "You're just my mother's other son. That isn't the same as being a brother." Willy chuckles bitterly and takes the money...then tosses Leroy his keys and says, "I'm dead to you, boy." Leroy explains that he has family besides him, but they all have different last names, and Willy's like, "Whatever, man" and stalks out. Leroy shows up for his interview with Shadow Snoop, but finds Miss Sherwood filling in. Apparently, Shadow Snoop had a small accident. She tells him the police are dropping the gun investigation 'cause the writers had no interest in sustaining that dumb storyline, and he happily informs her that he finally got his deadbeat brother to move out. He says it was tough, and that Willy's not a bad person - it's just that he's never had a purpose in life beyond hustling. Leroy says that he, on the other hand, has a purpose at this school and says, "The working and the dancing - it's just something that I am." Miss Sherwood gives him an affectionate smile and tells him to get outta here, 'cause he just answered every question she was supposed to ask him. After that, we're subjected to a superfluous dance performance with Ms. Grant enthusiastically leading the class...and Leroy is blissfully leaping and twirling about in his short shorts. OMFG, man - get some tights! Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: A group of male students are breakdancing in the hallway - it was the '80s after all - and a small crowd has gathered and is enjoying the impromptu show. Leroy bops to the beat and eventually joins in and starts gyrating suggestively. Some bearded guy in a leather jacket sneaks up behind Ms. Grant and tries to do the hands-over-the-eyes-from-behind thing on her, but she senses his presence, whirls around, exclaims, "Robert!" and hugs him. He gives her a smooch in return - and Leroy and Bruno raise their eyebrows at each other as they ogle the inappropriate public display of affection. Danny Amatullo and his feathered '80s 'do enter Miss Sherwood's English class. He chides Doris for reading the trades and tells her it's something only amateurs do. Doris argues that actresses read the trades to keep up with what's going on, but Danny snarks that actresses should find out what's going on by meeting people. He pronounces, as though he's any kind of authority on the subject, "It's not what you know - it's who you know." He says if show business were purely about talent, he'd be on Johnny Carson's show tomorrow night, which made me laugh out loud for several long seconds because I've seen Fame before and am painfully familiar with the extent of his "talent". Danny tries to get Bruno to agree with him, but Bruno grumbles, "I'm not into show business. I'm a musician" then winks at Julie. She grins back at him, then tells Doris not to pay any attention to Danny's insane ramblings...but Danny continues to natter on about how pointless the trades are. Doris tells him she's about to prove him wrong, then springs up from her desk and sprints out of the room. Miss Sherwood yells after her that if she's not back in two minutes, she's assigning her an extra book report. In dance class, Leroy has changed into a blue see-through mesh top and short shorts. Didn't Ms. Grant forbid him to come to her class unless he was wearing proper dance tights? He's flailing his limber limbs around and moonwalking while everyone else casually jigs. He then moonwalks over to Coco and directs her attention across the room to Ms. Grant, who's animatedly talking to Robert. He tells her he just got a job as director of a musical, and Ms. Grant looks very impressed and gushes, "My ex-boyfriend, the director." Robert frowns and says, "Did you have to put that ex in there?" He then says she'd be perfect for the lead role, then hastily adds, "You'd have to audition, of course." Doris suddenly bursts into the room, throws the trade newspaper at Coco and urges her look at page 12, then runs out again...and Coco quickly scans the page and instantly looks intrigued. Ms. Grant tells Robert she'll consider auditioning for his show, then says she has to get back to work and start her dance class. Doris races down the hall (she looks very odd when she runs) to return to English class, only to mistakenly burst into Mr. Shorofsky's music class...and everyone laughs as she sheepishly exits. Womp womp! Ms. Grant is making her class do weird dance moves to some high energy African music. She barks at Coco to "work it" then snarks at Leroy to watch his form, not the form of the hot chick he's dancing next to. Coco takes a break from working it to read the trades again...and she looks even more intrigued. Miss Sherwood tells Ms. Grant that the audition for Robert's show sounds like a great opportunity. Ms. Grant says if she gets the part, she'll have to quit her job at the school...but she really wants to audition 'cause she misses performing. Miss Sherwood advises her to go for it and says if she doesn't audition, she'll always wonder what might have been. Bruno's in one of the music rooms, playing on a synthesizer, when Coco bursts in. He grumps at her for not knocking, and she retorts, "I don't have time to knock! This is business!" She waves the trade newspaper at him and blurts out, "We got a job!" and reads an advertisement that calls for talented ethnic actresses. Bruno tells her that ethnic could mean Jewish, and she chirps, "I'll convert!" LOL. She reads him the rest of the ad, then gushes, "Broadway - here we come!" She wants him to play the background music for her audition and assures him he wouldn't have to write any new music - he could just play something he already knows. Bruno stares at her in his I'm-so-over-evvvvverything manner and retorts, "Watch my lips. Noooooo way." What a joyless frump of a wet blanket he is. In the next scene, Bruno's sitting in the back of his dad's cab, complaining that Coco is incapable of hearing the word no. His equally as grumpy dad agrees that he's not getting anything out of playing the background music for her audition...aside from doing a favor for a friend, that is. Mr. Martelli pulls over at the next intersection where Coco's waiting, and she climbs in and gives him the address of the theater. He's all, "The fuck? That's just around the corner!" so she explains that it looks better if she arrives in a cab...even though everyone she's auditioning for is already inside the theater and will have no idea how she arrived. When he pulls up in front of the theater a few seconds later, Coco dashes out of the car and rushes inside...and quickly finds the stage manager. She haughtily asks him if he can provide a synthesizer for her accompanying musician, and he wryly tells her they have an invention called the piano, and Bruno says that'll do just fine. After the stage manager wanders off, Coco gabbles about how exciting it is to be at her first real audition...but Bruno grumbles in his grumbly way that he'd much rather be at the dentist's right now. The performer who just auditioned exits the stage, looks at Coco with a yikes expression, and says that the people who are casting the show are a tough crowd. Coco is summoned to the stage, so she goes out, stands in the center, and squints toward the casting committee...but she's unable to see anything with the light shining in her eyes. They ask her to briefly talk about her past experience as a performer and who she's worked with, etc...and because she has zero experience and has worked with no one, Bruno deftly interjects and asks the committee if they can hurry this along 'cause he has another gig soon and doesn't want to get caught in traffic. LOL. He then starts playing, and Coco sings and dances to a lame sounding song called The Show Must Go On...and we get to endure the mediocre performance in its entirety. When she finishes, she looks very pleased with herself, and one of the people casting asks her if they have her phone number. She says she wrote it down on the sign-in sheet, and the person tells her they'll probably be calling her back...and as she and Bruno exit the stage, she exclaims, "I think we got it!" Suddenly, Ms. Grant appears - ack! - and she asks Coco what she's doing here. Coco says she just auditioned for the lead role...and then Bruno asks Ms. Grant what she's doing here, and she says, "I'm auditioning too. For the lead." The three stare at each other awkwardly until Ms. Grant is called to the stage. Back at the School of the Arts, Ms. Grant checks herself out in the mirror as she leaps, frolics, and prances around the dance gym. Miss Sherwood enters and asks her how the audition went, and she proudly reports that she got a callback. She then spills the beans on Coco auditioning, and Miss Sherwood gasps and goes, "What was she doing there? She knows the school rules" but Ms. Grant breezily waves her hand in the air and says that half the student body goes on auditions, despite it being against the rules. She figures that Coco must be afraid she's going to blow the whistle on her, and Miss Sherwood bitchily retorts, "Maybe you should!" and points out that she'd have to drop out of school if she gets the role. Ms. Grant smugly retorts that there's no way in hell Coco will be cast as the lead, since she's 6-7 years too young for the part...then wryly admits that even though she's a shoo-in 'cause her boyfriend is the director, she's 6-7 years too old for it. She then wonders aloud if she's truly willing to quit her job for the role...then wails that she's not sure about anything right now. Danny excitedly tells Montgomery that Johnny Carson is spending a week in New York, and it's well known that Gino's is his favorite restaurant. He's determined to approach the comedy legend and pass along his jokes to include in his nightly monologue (as fucking if), then says, "That's how careers get started, man." Montgomery refrains from laughing in his face and points out that Carson will probably have an entourage around him to prevent overeager morons like him from getting too close, and Danny scrunches his face in confusion and goes, "Entourage..?" as though he's never heard the word...which is weird for someone who's supposed to be so in the know about showbiz. Danny brushes off his cluelessness and says he plans to get a job at Gino's so he that he can "accidentally" run into Johnny Carson. He then tells a disinterested Montgomery that he plans to get a job at Gino's...and explains that his father and the owner of Gino's know each other 'cause they both belong to The Knights of St. Anthony. Doris sidles up to Bruno at his locker and asks him how yesterday's audition went. He tries to play dumb, but she says she saw his dad drop him and Coco off at the theater...plus, his dad totally spilled the beans when she asked him whassup. Doris asks Bruno if he thinks Ms. Grant will report them for breaking the "no auditioning" rule, and he says he doubts she will. Doris frowns and says, "If I was Coco, I'd want to know what was coming up." Ms. Grant is doing paperwork in her dance gym when Coco tip-toes in and asks her if they can talk. Ms. Grant dispenses with any awkwardness and tells her that whatever goes on outside of school stays outside of school, and Coco is surprised and pleased that she's not going to get reported. She says, "No matter what, no hard feelings" and Ms. Grant tries to hide her amusement at Coco's naïveté and agrees, "No hard feelings." Coco happily scampers out of the room, leaving Ms. Grant to stare contemplatively into space. Danny's on the phone with the owner of Gino's, reminding him that he and his dad are both members of The Knights of St. Anthony. He scores a volunteer job as a busboy, then hangs up and excitedly tells Mr. Shorofsky he just found a way to meet Johnny Carson. Mr. Shorofsky shrugs indifferently 'cause he doesn't own a TV set and doesn't have a clue who Johnny Carson is. Leroy is decked out in a yellow cable stitched mesh tank top (OMFG) as he buys his lunch, then joins Julie, Bruno, and Doris at their lunch table. Julie asks Bruno what the audition was like, and he says it was the same process as it was to audition for this school. They wonder if Coco will freak out if she gets the part, since it'll mean she has to drop out of school...and Doris says that Ms. Grant will also have to quit if she gets the part. Leroy's all, "Wha-a?" and puts his sad face on. Bruno says they shouldn't assume Coco won't get the role, since her audition went very well, and Leroy snarks, "Yeah, but her boyfriend wasn't directing the thing." Bruno's all, "Wha-a?" then shakes his head and says, "Coco's going to be wasted when she hears that. Who's going to tell her?" Doris looks past him and says, "You just did" and everyone turns around and realizes that Coco has been standing right behind them, holding her food tray and eavesdropping. Coco goes to the dance gym and stares at herself mournfully in the mirror. Doris enters the room and goes, "Sorry", and Coco rails about being made a fool of. Doris agrees that it's soo not fair that Ms. Grant's boyfriend is the show's director, and Coco snaps, "It stinks!" and says she plans to confront the dance teacher. Julie's in one of the music rooms playing her cello when Bruno enters and asks her if she's OK. She tells him that hearing about Coco's audition put her in "a bad place" (not sure why) and that she always feels better when she plays her cello. He agrees that music is good therapy and sits down and accompanies her on the piano. Miss Sherwood runs into Ms. Grant in the office and asks her whassup. Ms. Grant says she's exhausted from teaching five classes a day and preparing for her audition...plus, she has a date with Robert tonight. Coco suddenly bursts into the room and asks Ms. Grant if they can speak privately...and Miss Sherwood and Mr. Shorofsky beat a hasty retreat. Coco reminds Ms. Grant that she told her "whatever happens outside of school stays there", and Ms. Grant says it still applies and credits herself as "one of the good guys". Coco asks her if she feels that way 'cause she knows that she doesn't have a chance at the part in the show, and Ms. Grant tells her that in an audition situation, every performer has a chance. Coco shoots her the stink-eye and snarls, "Even when one of the people in the audition situation is dating the director?!!" Ms. Grant says she's too tired to answer that question (LOL), and that it doesn't deserve a response anyway. She sassily adds, "That's all the answer you'll get" and Coco gives up on the conversation and storms out. Ms. Grant and Robert are having dinner at Gino's. She tells him she's having second thoughts about auditioning for the show 'cause she may not want to give up her teaching job. Robert tells her there are only three people up for the role (her, Coco, and some other woman), then reminds her that he's the director and that she's his top choice. Danny suddenly appears at the table to deliver a basket of bread, and Ms. Grant looks over at him and is all, "Wuh?" Danny then overhears the restaurant owner take a call regarding "Mr. Carson's party of six". He perks up as he eavesdrops and notes that the reservation is for tomorrow night at 7:00pm. The next day in the cafeteria, Coco is nervously deciding which leotard she should wear to the audition: red or blue? She finally settles on the blue one, and everyone wishes her luck. Leroy runs into Ms. Grant in the stairwell and asks her if she's really auditioning for a show. She says she is and asks him to wish her luck, but he sullenly refuses and explains that he doesn't want her to leave the school...and he doesn't give a rat's ass if he's being a selfish prick. He stomps off, and Ms. Grant stares into space contemplatively. The host at Gino's tells Danny that the Carson party has arrived. Danny rushes in the direction of the table, which is conveniently obscured by a giant plant 'cause Johnny Carson doesn't actually have a cameo in this episode. Coco is backstage at the theater, preparing for her audition. Ms. Grant arrives and says hello to her, and Coco asks her if she's nervous, and Ms. Grant says she is, but that it's a normal part of auditioning, blah blah. The other candidate performs, and she's actually not bad. While that's going on, Ms. Grant notices an important looking man (the producer?) arrive with a pretty young woman. He speaks with Robert...and Robert kind of waves his arms around and looks pissed off. The important looking man then tells the young woman something, and she excitedly jumps up and down and starts twirling around. Ms. Grant purses her lips and stares over at the exchange with a knowing expression on her face. When she's called to the stage, she asks to speak with Robert privately. She glares at him and asks him if she's about to audition for nothing, and he looks around shiftily and says, "I have no idea what you're talking about." LOL. She snaps, "The hell you don't!" and orders him to look her in the eye and tell her that the part hasn't been cast yet. He hangs his head sheepishly and says, "This isn't an easy racket" and reminds her that this is his first directing job and that he's only human...then finally comes clean and tells her there's no need for her to audition. Coco, meanwhile, is watching all this from backstage with a puzzled expression on her face. Ms. Grant rushes off the stage, grabs Coco by the hand, and tells her she'll explain everything once they get back to the school. Danny tells the owner of Gino's that he ran into Johnny Carson in the bathroom and spoke with him...and by spoke with him, he means that Johnny told him to buzz off when he tried to tell him his stupid jokes. Coco wails, "It's not fair!" when Ms. Grant explains what just happened at the theater. She says she could have gotten the part, but Ms. Grant tut tuts her and says it was unlikely, and that she's not ready for a lead role until after she mentors her some more and she can sing and dance better. Suddenly, Ms. Grant starts flitting about, and their voices provide the background music in a cheese-tastic '80s song titled, I Still Believe in Me, which apparently scored an Emmy nomination that year. Go figure. Ms. Grant dances in her purple flowy outfit, and Coco joins her in her blue flowy outfit, and the two leap and twirl around the room in a superfluous performance. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: It's audition time at New York City's fictional High School for the Performing Arts. On the auditorium stage is a vacuous looking baton twirler who somehow doesn't realize how badly she sucks. Mr. Shorofsky tells her that the purpose of the school is to prepare students for careers in the performing arts, then wryly asks her if there's a need for professional baton twirlers he's not aware of. The girl smiles brightly and chirps, "Sure!" and explains that baton twirlers could potentially become cheerleaders for professional football teams. Mr. Shorofsky stares at her in befuddlement until Ms. Grant brusquely dismisses the nitwit from their orbit. The next auditioner to take the stage is Julie Miller, a conservatively dressed blonde girl carrying a cello. Ms. Grant explains to Julie [and the viewers] that these auditions are held for new arrivals to New York City, then asks her what brought her to the Big Apple. Julie spacily stares back at her and says, "My parents got divorced" and Ms. Grant looks slightly confused by the brevity and dumbness of her answer, but then shrugs it off and says, "Any time you're ready." Julie begins playing her cello, and she's actually not bad. [Note: I Googled Lori Singer and learned from Wikipedia that she's a cellist in real life, so I guess we can assume that any footage of her cello playing is authentic.] Miss Sherwood asks Coco how summer stock was, and Coco grins broadly and says, "Beautiful" then explains that she mostly worked behind the scenes. She was also an understudy, but unfortunately for her the actress was very healthy and never missed a performance. Miss Sherwood clucks sympathetically and says, "Sorry you didn't get to be a star" but Coco flashes her a smile that screams I am effervescent! and retorts, "I am a star. It's just that not enough people know it yet." Right. That must be the problem. Julie's still auditioning with her cello. Bruno (with his luscious dark 'fro) is hanging at the back of the auditorium, staring at her with creepy intensity. Coco slips into the auditorium through the back, rushes over to Bruno, and starts nattering at him about her quest for stardom, but he shushes her so he can continue to listen to Julie's cello playing and gaze longingly at her blonde loveliness. Coco shuts up, but looks kinda put out by his obvious fascination with the Midwestern rube. In a cramped apartment, Julie's mom gives her money for cab fare so she'll arrive at school safely. (That will get expensive pretty quick.) Julie bristles at the idea of being seen by the other kids taking a cab to school, so her mom offers an alternative: she'll walk her to school each morning. In the next scene, it's clear that Julie has opted for the cab...and when she arrives at the school, she spills out of the cab and accidentally bumps into Coco. She blurts out, "I'm sorry!" and Coco glares at her and bitchily snarks, "You are...and blind too." Julie looks mortified and dashes up the front steps. Meanwhile, Doris is ambling down the hall, admiring a blonde boy who looks like he's already coupled up with a pretty brunette. Hey - it's a young Fran Drescher! Miss Sherwood starts off her English class by featuring the word of the day: pretentious. As the students furiously jot down the word in their notebooks (LOL), Miss Sherwood sternly tells them they need to take English class as seriously as they take their dance/music/acting classes. I'm sure that'll happen. She then asks Coco to use pretentious in a sentence, so Coco smirks and says, "Coming to school in a cab is pretentious." Bruno assumes the dickish barb is directed at him and protests, "That's not fair. I come to school in a taxi every day." Coco hastily says it's different when his father is the one driving it, and doesn't explain that her sentence was intended to mock the new girl. A dorky, prepubescent redhead named Montgomery carries Julie's books to her locker. She tells him she's having problems with the combination, so he offers to help and - voila! - is able to get it unlocked. He then offers her some unsolicited advice about living in New York: try not to invade people's personal space when walking down the street. He should probably also address her wardrobe, since she's currently wearing a tweed suit with a little ribbon bow-tie around the collar of her buttoned up Victorian style blouse. Yeesh. Mr. Shorofsky is leading a class of piano players. Bruno suddenly goes rogue and starts playing a different melody, and Mr. Shorofsky orders him to just play the same notes and rhythm as everyone else. Ms. Grant lectures her dance class on how she expects them to work their "little tights off". She then delivers the iconic speech that's included in the show's opening and also inspired me to become a dancer (just kidding): "You've got big dreams? You want fame? Well fame costs. And right here's where you start paying...in sweat. I wanna see sweat!" She adds that if they want their dancing to meet with her high standards, they're going to have to fight. And now that everyone's pumped up and mentally psyched to perform split leaps in the air, she leads the class in a blasé, low energy arm stretching exercise. LOL. In the cafeteria, Montgomery is hanging with Julie and Doris, giving Julie more tips on how to get around in New York. Julie complains that the buses are always so crowded, and Doris tells her that the subways are no better - in fact, they can be deadly when mental cases push unwitting people into oncoming trains. In the next scene, the three of them are on a bus...and some strange man is pressing himself against Julie. Armed with her new-found street smarts, she kicks him in his nether regions, and he yelps and shrinks away. Leroy, Coco, and a bunch of other students are boogying on the school's front steps. Julie accidentally bumps into Coco again and dumps coffee all over her. Coco glares at her and snarls, "Don't you have eyes?" and Julie just stares uselessly into space while Coco mops herself off. The word of the day in Miss Sherwood's English class is deleterious. Coco volunteers to use it in a sentence and pronounces, "Coffee can be deleterious to some people's health and to other people's clothing" while Julie cringes with embarrassment. After that, a loud moron named Garci attempts to use the word in a sentence, but then starts rambling about how his uncle won the lottery. Fortunately, Garci's one of the half dozen or so pointless throwaway characters the show hastily dumps after the pilot episode. Ms. Grant disapproves of the short shorts Leroy insists on wearing to dance class. She orders him to get a pair of tights so that the rest of the class can stop worrying about accidentally getting an eyeful of his nut sack. After that, she orders everyone to double up and practice the bizarre looking dance sequence she taught them during the previous class...and she can't help but be impressed with Leroy's taut, limber body. Julie tries to apologize to Coco for spilling coffee on her earlier, but Ms. Grant snarks at her to shut it and focus on her dancing. Julie and Montgomery are sitting on the floor of the cafeteria, eating and people watching. He's giving her more tips on life in New York, and today's lesson is: don't wear jewelry in public. Julie fingers her gold necklace and says she can't take it off 'cause it's too much a part of her identity. Montgomery warns her, "The better you look, the bigger the danger." Eeek! '80s New York is scary.. Bruno is alone in one of the music rooms, playing piano with his eyes closed and looking positively orgasmic. Coco enters the room and stares at him longingly...but he doesn't see her standing there (or is brazenly ignoring her), so after a couple of minutes she tip-toes out of the room. That was a thoroughly pointless scene. Doris, who suddenly has a mop of curly red hair, is staring longingly at the cute blonde guy again. When he smiles and winks in her direction, she excitedly tells Montgomery, "Michael Harrison winked at me! It must be my new hairdo!" Montgomery looks unimpressed and tells her that Michael winks at everyone, so Doris reminds him that Michael is the most popular guy in school. As Michael heads over, Doris murmurs, "He's coming over here...in person!" Michael stands in front of Doris, but then directs his attention toward Julie and invites her to a party on Friday night. Fran Drescher, who looks like she thinks she should be Michael's girlfriend, stands beside him and shoots Julie the stink-eye. Julie declines the invitation, and Fran Drescher says it's for the best, since she probably wouldn't like their friends anyway. After Julie ambles off, Doris lets Michael know that she's free on Friday night and that she's A-OK with being sloppy seconds. He doesn't respond, but Fran Drescher chuckles condescendingly and says, "That's OK. We already have enough people" and steers Michael away. Coco tells Bruno they need exposure and that with his music and her singing/dancing/electric personality, they could "really go places". Bruno grumpishly informs her that the only place he wants to go to right now is the bathroom, then shuffles off like a middle aged man. Meanwhile, Montgomery applauds Julie for declining Michael's invitation, especially since he's the "it" guy in school. Julie explains that she's not interested in dating anybody here 'cause she has a boyfriend back in Grand Rapids. Montgomery scrunches his face in disappointment as though he might really have had a shot. Coco is standing by the men's room, and when Bruno comes out, she starts blathering to him about how the two of them should start up a band, put their music out there and get rich, but Bruno grumps that he's not interested in performing or putting his music out there...which makes me wonder why the hell he's attending this school. Coco saucily says, "You haven't seen or heard the best of me yet" and offers to resolve that, like pronto. She glances around the cafeteria and says, "I don't normally work lunch rooms, but you deserve a break today" and Bruno just rolls his eyes in his annoying I'm-soooo-world-weary fashion. Julie tells Doris it's obvious she has a crush on Michael, but Doris clucks at her condescendingly and says that maybe people in podunk towns like Grand Rapids get crushes - but that's not the way it is in New York City. That's right. In New York City, teenagers (who look like they're well into their 20s) do more sophisticated things like don curly red wigs and make arses of themselves in public. Coco asks a group of musicians, who are conveniently set up with their instruments, to play a lame sounding song called Take Me Baby. Somehow the musicians are familiar with it and start playing...and as soon as Coco starts singing, Bruno grumpishly ambles off. Coco brushes off the snub and really gets into her performance - climbing atop tables and dancing while she sings. Leroy, who's still in his short shorts, also gets into the groove...and after a few minutes in, there's no one in the cafeteria who isn't wildly gyrating to the beat. Julie decides to finally get a clue and ditch her tweed outfits, despite the mild pooh poohing she gets from her mother. Julie whines about how hard it is to fit in at her new school and says her dancing was OK for Grand Rapids, but not New York. Luckily, her cello playing is mildly OK in comparison, but then she laments, "I'm barely in their league sometimes." Her mom says it's a learning experience for both of them, and that she too is trying to find her niche: in the job market. Julie explains that she's not going to be able to fit in while wearing tweed, 'cause everyone just treats her like a nerd. Well, d'yuh. She wonders if she's tough enough for this school, then fingers the gold chain her boyfriend Lester gave to her. Her mom reminds her that she's in New York now...and that Lester is far away in Grand Rapids. Leroy has headphones on during English class and is bopping to the beat. Miss Sherwood notices the headphones and frowns in disapproval. In music class, Bruno is whining to Mr. Shorofsky about how string instruments should be abolished, now that someone's invented keyboards that can simulate the sound of a violin. Mr. Shorofsky looks aghast and insists that orchestras need actual string instruments. Bruno retorts that orchestras are an endangered species, and Mr. Shorofsky continues to look aghast, tells him to shut up, and orders the class to begin playing again. Miss Sherwood is keeping Leroy after class for detention. He whines that he's "a working man" and has bidness associates waiting for him. Miss Sherwood reminds him that he still hasn't turned in his assignment on Romeo and Juliet, and that in general his work is the shits. She warns that he won't be able to stay in school if he keeps letting his work slide, and he snarls, "Ain't nobody makin' me walk unless I wanna." Miss Sherwood sasses him back with, "You'll be dancin' right outa this school" and admonishes his rude manners and low reading level. Leroy accuses her of being "racially discriminating", and she reacts by applauding his ability to pronounce so many syllables all at once. Hee! She tells him again that she expects him to turn in his assignment, and he nonsensically grumbles, "You'd better have more than your mouth ready when you go makin' my flight patterns" and storms out. Based on that conversation, I think Leroy could use a heavy dose of remedial English. After that, we get a drawn out montage sequence featuring Julie, Bruno, and Leroy. Julie's sitting at her kitchen table, penning a love letter to Lester. She tells him she's not fitting in, that things are hard for her in New York...then reminisces about when he put the gold chain around her neck. Meanwhile, Bruno is in what looks like a dungeon, orgasmically playing his keyboard. Across town, Leroy is hanging in a pool hall, unable to make heads or tails out of Romeo and Juliet. He gets frustrated and tosses the book aside...but a few minutes later he thinks better of it and decides to give it another shot. Julie places her love letter inside one of her text books for "safe keeping", which ends up not being such a great idea. Bruno is in the afterglow stages of his music orgasm and continues to play his keyboard. The next morning, Julie arrives to school late and sprints down the hall to get to English class...and for some reason she's back to wearing tweed. Miss Sherwood asks Garci to read something aloud from his text book, and since he forgot his, he grabs Julie's and finds her Dear Lester love letter. He reads part of it aloud to the class because he's a malevolent dickwad, and everyone giggles. Bruno grabs the letter out of his hands and snarks, "A person's privacy oughta be respected." He hands it back to a mortified Julie, who stares miserably at the floor. After class, Bruno's at his locker, bitching to Montgomery about how dickish Garci was to Julie, who he considers a minority at this school. He says he thought this school was better than getting cheap laughs by picking on the hapless. Coco overhears his rant and looks contemplative. Later, Julie's sitting in an empty classroom, playing her cello and looking mournful. Leroy enters a clothing store that carries men's tights. The sales clerk asks him if he needs help, so he tells him he needs a pair of tights, and then the clerk asks him if he needs a belt to go with them. Leroy gives him a funny look and snarks, "You ain't talkin' to no fool, turkey" so the clerk hastily explains that by belt he means a jock, then takes one out of the package to show him. Leroy stares at the contraption in horror, goes, "Nooo..." and runs out of the store. What a weirdo. Leroy shows up for dance class in his short shorts yet again, and Ms. Grant clucks disapprovingly and asks him where his tights are. He tells her he forgot them, then amends his story and says he washed them, but they got so tight they cut off all circulation to his testicles. Ms. Grant sighs and says if he brings the too small tights in tomorrow as proof he has a pair, she'll exchange them for a pair that fit. After that, she admonishes a girl for wearing earrings and reminds the class there's no jewelry allowed while they're dancing. She then notices Julie's gold chain and orders her to take it off, and Julie blurts out, "No!" so then Ms. Grant raises her eyebrows and is all, "Excuse me?" Julie tries to explain that the gold chain is not just a necklace; it's an expression of love...or some such nonsense. Some random girl in the class repeats what Garci read aloud from her love letter to Lester, and Julie wails, "Stop it!" and when she notices everyone's eyes on her, she bellows, "And stop looking at me!" LOL. She runs out of the room, and Coco stares after her looking sheepish. Julie heads to the bathroom to wash her face and stare sadly at herself in the mirror. Coco enters the bathroom to chide her for being into big emotional scenes, but Julie denies that and says she just wants people at this school to give her half a chance. Coco says, "Hey, nobody gives you anything, baby. You make your own chances." She tells Julie that everyone gets bad reviews at one time or another - but right now she's "in the hot burning center of the galaxy" (?!) and should want the spotlight. Julie insists she doesn't want it, and doesn't know what she's doing here. Coco assures her she's good, though not nearly as awesome as she is, then boasts, "I've got the sun and the moon in my hand, and I just need an opportunity to knock." She tells Julie she's either going to have to prove people wrong or quit - but she's pretty sure Julie's too much of a professional to give up on her dreams of fame. Coco leaves Julie to mull over her sage advice...and this time when she stares at herself in the mirror, she smiles. Everyone's dancing around the cafeteria again, and Coco's on staging singing Fame. Julie enters the room, looking much happier now that Coco has set her straight. Meanwhile, Leroy approaches Miss Sherwood and hands her some tattered pages with writing on them, and I'll assume it's his Romeo and Juliet assignment. Incidentally, he's decked out in a yellow knit tank top and electric blue short shorts, and when he dances, he and his naughties jiggle suggestively. I'll keep my fingers crossed that Ms. Grant is able to persuade him to wear tights. The next day, Julie leaves her apartment covered in tweed...but when she gets off the elevator in the lobby, she's changed into something more age appropriate. I'm not sure why she felt the need to hide this from her mother, since she didn't seem to put up that much resistance to Julie adopting a less stuffy wardrobe. As Miss Sherwood tells her English class that the word of the day is metamorphosis, Julie happily skips down the street, then joyfully leaps in the air. LOL. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! Recap: Doris goes on the offensive with Dwight Mendenhall, the School of the Arts' new hall monitor and resident dork, and demands to see his hall permit. Dwight gets flustered and digs around in his pocket, muttering that he has his membership card for the Student Council Hallway Patrol in there somewhere. (With credentials like that, this kid must be actively seeking a daily ass-kicking.) When he pulls it out, Doris impatiently snaps her fingers and barks, "Fork it over!" He hands her the card, and after she pretends to carefully scrutinize it to ensure its authenticity, she announces, "I'm off to check the third floor now. Carry on." Dwight finally gets a clue and asks Doris for her hall pass, and she breaks into a run and flees down the hall in her weird, flail-y way. Doris interrupts Miss Sherwood's English class to say she needs Bruno. Miss Sherwood asks her why, so she tells her a fantastical tale about how Mr. Shorofsky broke one of the synthesizers, and it suddenly began to sizzle/smoke. Miss Sherwood looks unconvinced, but also like she doesn't give a hoot if Bruno's in class or not - so she excuses him. Out in the hall, Doris admits to Bruno that she wasn't being entirely truthful to Miss Sherwood, and Bruno's like, "No shit" and says that Mr. Shorofsky would never even go near a synthesizer. Doris then breaks the exciting news: the faculty selected his musical for the school to perform as its next show! Bruno looks mildly pleased for a few seconds, then scrunches his face concernedly and asks her how she found out...so she confesses to eavesdropping on the faculty. Mr. Shorofsky, Ms. Grant, and the hot new drama teacher, Mr. Reardon, are debating whether or not they should make Bruno a member of the production team for the upcoming show. [Sad note: the actor who played Mr. Crandall in Season 1 died of cancer a few weeks after the finale was filmed. RIP, Michael Thoma.] Mr. Reardon argues that in the real world, the composer would be part of the production team, but Mr. Shorofsky gruffly tells him that that kind of sensible logic isn't going to fly at the School of the Arts. Heh. When Mr. Reardon stares pleadingly at Ms. Grant, she sassily retorts, "Uh uh...I am not getting in the middle of that argument." Bruno and Doris burst into the teacher's lounge, and Bruno thanks them for choosing his musical. Ms. Grant asks him what he knows about casting or staging, and he stares back at her blankly and goes, "Not much" so she dismisses him from her orbit and tells Mr. Reardon and Mr. Shorofsky that it's probably not a good idea for Bruno to be part of the behind-the-scenes production. Mr. Reardon calls that chicken-hearted and gutless, and insists they allow him to do what a composer in the real world would be expected to do. Ms. Grant mulls that over, and a few seconds later she rushes out into the hall, waves at Bruno and barks, "About face, baby." Over in the cafeteria, everyone is happily jigging and gyrating...while Dwight irritably lumbers his way through the crowd. I wonder what his performing arts talent could possibly be (I'm going to rule out dancing...and any kind of stage work that requires charisma). Doris hides from him behind a newspaper, and is then joined at her table by the rest of the Fame kids. Bruno tells everyone that the faculty is letting him be part of the audition process for his show, and Danny's excited that he's finally friends with someone important. He hints that he wants a lead role, then tries to suck up by offering to buy Bruno chocolate milk. Bruno and Mr. Reardon are in the theater, ready to begin the auditions. Bruno remarks that the other kids may get bothered by the amount of power he's been given, but Mr. Reardon urges him not to cop out, 'cause he'll look like a jerk after pushing so hard to get him included. He explains that he's trying to loosen things up at the School of the Arts. Over in the office, Mrs. Berg is explaining football betting to Mr. Shorofsky when Miss Sherwood stumbles in. She wants to know how much sick time she's entitled to, then complains to Mr. Shorofsky that she's tired, burned out, and fed up with this dump. Mrs. Berg informs her that she has ten sick days left, and Miss Sherwood contemplates that, then takes one of Mrs. Berg's football betting cards on her way out. Auditions are underway, and the first girl/guy pair is pretty bad. Bruno tells Mr. Reardon that the guy's name is Norman, he's super nice, and is obviously very courageous to attempt acting when he's a music major. Reardon's just like, "Whatever. I don't give a shit." Norman gives a sucky audition, so Bruno allows him to have a redo, and offers some helpful pointers. As Mr. Reardon looks on in annoyance, Ms. Grant enters the theater and remarks that the auditions are running late...and that Norman is one of Shorofsky's people, not a drama major. Mr. Reardon tries to save face by insisting that Norman deserves a chance to audition. Doris is studying in the library when Dwight finally tracks her down. He hands her a stack of summonses for various infractions: not having a hall permit, disobeying a hall monitor, and creating a disturbance. He orders her to sign each one, so she does it with exaggerated flare, as if she's giving a fan her autograph. She asks him if there's an actual punishment to these silly summonses, and he decrees, "No performance experience for a month, and extra homework from your adviser." Doris goes, "Ooooh, Dwight" then pauses and smirkingly asks, "Is that really your name?" then pleads with him to not penalize her so harshly, 'cause she really really wants to try out for Bruno's musical. She's pretty sure she has a good shot of getting a lead role, since she and Bruno are such good friends. Dwight perks up at that and asks her if she can get his friend, Norman, in the show...and she contemplatively mulls that over. After Ms. Grant dismisses her dance class, Bruno rushes into the dance gym, self-importantly carrying a clipboard. Coco asks him how it's going, and he snaps, "Narrowing down the list" and bitches about how everyone keeps asking him how it's going. Meow. He then complains to Ms. Grant about how everyone wants to see the list of people who made the cut...and Ms. Grant looks over the list, makes a face, and says that some of his choices are questionable. For example, Danny got a major role, which entails a dance number...and it's common knowledge that Danny can't dance worth a shit. She abruptly stops talking and dismissively says, "Never mind. I'll talk to Mr. Reardon" but when Bruno reminds her that he's supposed to be treated as an equal on this production, Ms. Grant candidly says, "Casting Danny in that role is flat out dumb. And it doesn't serve the needs of the show." I don't think casting Danny in any role would serve the needs of any show. Ever. Doris is backstage, eavesdropping on Bruno and Mr. Reardon as they bicker about casting. Mr. Reardon tells Bruno they need to make some tough choices, but Bruno whines about how he feels used and is making enemies. He wails, "Everybody's out for something: a favor, a role, an inside tip." From her hiding spot, Doris suddenly looks sheepish and goes back to where Dwight is waiting for word about Norman getting a role. She tells him she couldn't get him into the show, then dramatically shrieks, "Turn me in!" Bruno and Mr. Reardon go over the cast list and realize that the lead role, Christopher, hasn't been cast. Bruno says that no one who auditioned even came close, and that the character is shy and sensitive with an off-the-wall sense of humor. Hmm... Mr. Reardon says, "He's you" (of course he is - he wrote the dumb thing) and urges him to cast himself in the lead role. Bruno protests, "But I'm not an actor!" so Mr. Reardon points out that won't actually have to act, since he'd just be playing himself. Bruno mulls that over and decides that casting himself in the lead role of his own play is an awesome idea, 'cause what could go wrong with that? Out in the hall, Dwight bellows to no one in particular, "It's outrageous! It's a disgrace!" A few seconds later, everyone rushes over to the cast list, which has just been posted. Danny yells, "I'll kill him! That was my part!" and Doris watches the chaos from the staircase and says, "Let the games begin." Ms. Grant tells Mr. Reardon that the kids are really ticked off about the cast list, but he says it'll blow over in a couple of days. Ms. Grant says that's not how things roll at the School of the Arts, so Mr. Reardon explains that he and Bruno brainstormed very very hard over the cast list, and that the success of the show is more important than anyone's hurt feelings. Ms. Grant points out that the kids have hurt feelings because they don't feel like they got a fair shot at the roles, then warns, "This will blow up in your faces." A substitute teacher shows up to teach Miss Sherwood's English class. When Leroy asks whassup with Miss Sherwood, she's like, "I dunno. I only know she's absent." Leroy scrunches his face with displeasure. Doris and Bruno are in biology class, trying to dissect a frog. Bruno grumbles that frog dissection isn't an important life skill, and Doris stares at him concernedly and says, "Talk to me." He mumbles about how he alienated everybody 'cause he cast himself in the lead role of his own show - shocker - and asks her if she's available later, 'cause he needs someone to talk to about all this. He says she's the ideal person for him to turn to 'cause she didn't audition for the show and therefore doesn't want any favors from him (well, anymore). Doris looks flattered at being Mopey's sounding board of choice and says she'll be over at his place at around 7pm. Ms. Grant's dance students are looking very lackluster, and when she asks them whassup with their half-hearted leaps and twirls, they tell her they're really bummed out about Bruno casting himself in the lead role of the upcoming show. Get over it, kids. I'm sure there will be a fresh new show to audition for next week. Leroy has an additional, unrelated gripe: the sub for Miss Sherwood "got a bug up her bazooka". Ms. Grant sighs heavily and says, "Sounds like I've got a real morale problem on my hands" and says she refuses to let their spirits sag to shit. She declares that they all need a field trip - with the sun on their faces and the wind in their hair, and everyone really likes the sound of that. In the next scene, the Fame dancers have unleashed themselves onto the streets of Manhattan, joyously pirouetting and funkily grooving about. They sing "Body Language" and prance their way from the Central Park Zoo, to the Staten Island Ferry, then all the way back uptown in front of Lincoln Center. That's an impressive amount of ground to cover during one small segment of the show. Naturally, everyone who sees them along the way - including a mime (!) - can't help but enthusiastically jig along. That evening, Doris arrives at Bruno's house and heads down to the basement and finds him mopishly playing his synthesizer. He says he needs to tell her stuff he can't talk about at school...then builds up her hopes by saying they're more than just friends 'cause she gets him and is sometimes the only person who understands his mopey brand of humor. He starts moaning about how mad everyone is at him, and Doris puts her arms around him and coos, "I'm here. I'm listening." Bruno turns to stare into her eyes, and as she puckers up in anticipation for some face sucking, he asks, "Can you teach me how to act?" Doris looks momentarily discombobulated and is all, "Wha-a?" but quickly masks her disappointment and says, "No problem." Ms. Grant telephones Miss Sherwood - and when she gets no answer, she leaves a message on her machine, asking her if she needs anything. She says that everything at the school is crazy, as per usual, and that they miss her. Miss Sherwood, who's sitting on the couch and despondently staring into space, tears up and whispers, "I miss you too." Doris tries to tutor Bruno in the art of acting, but there's no getting around how horrible he is at it. Doris visibly grimaces at his overacting and gently says, "Less is more" then tries to get a little something out of it for herself and slyly suggests they practice the love scene. Heh. Mr. Reardon sheepishly tells Ms. Grant there's been no improvement in Bruno's acting, and Ms. Grant blurts out, "He's terrible." Mr. Reardon says in the real world he'd be fired, then tells Ms. Grant he's going to bite the bullet and cut him loose from the cast. She nods approvingly and applauds his cajones. Leroy drops by Miss Sherwood's apartment to see whassup with her absence. She invites him in and sadly says, "I think I broke something" and complains that she's sick of apologizing for what she does, is tired of coaxing people to speak English properly (a-hem, Leroy), and doesn't want to always defend what she does at the school. She moans, "I'm sick and tired!" then tells him the real reason she's so mopey: her ex-husband died, but no one in his family bothered to tell her he even had cancer. Ouch. She feels like she doesn't matter to anyone, but Leroy soberly says, "You matter to me." He then tells her she has "white folks blues"...meaning that white folks save up everything for one bad time - instead of just accepting the fact that life generally sucks, the way black folks do. Miss Sherwood tears up and assures him she'll be fine...and Leroy attempts to cheer her up further by handing her an envelop and telling her she won $30 on her football bet. She lets out an involuntary chuckle. Over in the theater, Doris continues to coach Bruno...then throws in the towel and breaks into song - "Beautiful Dreamer" - for several loooong, unnecessary minutes. After the song, she leans in for a smooch just as Mr. Reardon bursts into the theater and asks Bruno if they can speak privately. Bruno's like, "Sure!", thanks Doris (whose lips are still puckered and waiting) for coaching him, then rushes off. As soon as Bruno enters the teacher's lounge, he blurts out, "I want out!" and says he's well aware of how craptastic an actor he is. He admits they made a UGE mistake casting him in the lead, but wants to remedy the situation, like pronto. Mr. Reardon just stares back at him with a mixture of surprise and relief...and happily accepts his resignation from the show. The students are happily gyrating in the hall as Ms. Grant and Mrs. Berg smile and nod at the spectacle. Bruno announces to Danny that he's giving him his role in the show, and Danny's thrilled...which is weird, 'cause didn't Ms. Grant point out that Danny is incapable of pulling off any kind of dance number? Miss Sherwood makes her grand return to the school, and Leroy looks delighted and gives her a big hug. A dejected looking Doris is sitting alone in the theater, tapping on the piano keys. She mutters, "Life has a nice melody. The lyric leaves something to be desired." She picks up her bag, twirls in the middle of the stage, and the episode abruptly ends there. Weird. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! Recap: A nervous looking Jimmy Osmond sporting a grisly '80s pageboy 'do arrives at the School of the Arts, accompanied by his equally as nervous looking mother. She offers to go into the office with him, but he assures her he's a big boy now and can handle it himself. She looks reluctant to leave him alone, but when he insists he doesn't need her coddling him every second of his life, she gives him a good luck kiss on the cheek and leaves. Coco and Leroy are in the dance gym, rehearsing for an audition for the upcoming International Festival for the Musical Arts. Jimmy Osmond stares at them in fascination through the little window on the door. Leroy arrogantly declares to Coco that they're the two best dancers in the school, but she warns him against getting too swelled a head. She desperately wants to land the role of lead singer for the festival and sassily declares, "It better be me." Leroy notices Jimmy Osmond peeping at them through the window and asks what he thinks of their gyrating. He says, "Beautiful.." then tells them he's lost and needs to find someone named Mr. Shorofsky. They give him directions just as Bruno bursts into the room, strides over to the piano, and starts playing. A couple of seconds later, Coco breaks into song...which was a tad jarring 'cause I did not expect to have to endure a full-on performance so early in the episode. Mrs. Berg is in the office, gabbling to the faculty about a boy who's scheduled for a special audition at 11am...then looks over his application and remarks on his terrible penmanship. LOL. Miss Sherwood hears her mention the boy's name, then asks to see the application. When Mrs. Berg hands it to her, she looks it over and then stares into space concernedly. Mr. Reardon is making his drama class do a weird looking exercise: they're sitting cross-legged on the floor in two neat rows, staring at the person sitting across from them and mimicking each other's movements. Danny is partnered with a cute girl named Diana...and he leers at her and asks her out. She scrunches her face in distaste and shakes her head, which is totes understandable 'cause...well, it's Danny. Bruno encounters Jimmy Osmond sitting on the stairs and asks him if he has any change [for the phone]. Jimmy tells him, "I have two quarters, two dimes, and three nickels. And I have to keep them all." Bruno's like, "Er...OK" and asks him whaddup with him loitering at the School of the Arts, so Jimmy tells him he has an audition at 11am. Bruno asks him what his specialty is, and he holds up a small stack of music sheets...and Bruno grabs at them and exclaims, "Music! That's my thing!" Jimmy informs him, "I sing and play the guitar sometimes" and Bruno tells him he likes to broodily sit in his basement dungeon every night and compose craptastic music on his synthesizer. Miss Sherwood calls up Jimmy Osmond's mother to ask her if her idiot savant son really actually truly applied to the School of the Arts. When the mother confirms that he did, Miss Sherwood says she doesn't quite know what to think 'bout that. I'm not sure why she felt the need to call Jimmy's mother and tell her that. Bruno shows Jimmy where the cafeteria is, then gives him some helpful tips on auditioning for Mr. Shorofsky. He says, "Break a leg!" and a confused Jimmy goes, "Why would I do that? I don't want to hurt myself." Bruno gives him a funny look and explains that it's just an expression for good luck. He then says, "Maybe we'll get together later and jam" and Jimmy looks confused again and asks, "You mean with the peanut butter?" Bruno, who refuses to get a clue, shakes his head and is like, "Whatever" and lumbers off to class. Everyone is gyrating, twirling, and singing in the cafeteria, and Jimmy Osmond looks bewildered as he clutches his tray and looks for a place to sit. Why is he staying for lunch? I thought he was just at the school for an audition. Doris joins the rest of the Fame kids at their table and mocks Danny for flirting with Diana during the weird drama class exercise. Danny retorts, "What do you know?" and Doris offers to enlighten him on how to treat Diana like a lady. Bruno catches sight of Jimmy looking lost and confused and invites him to eat with them...and Danny makes a crack about how funny Jimmy looks while trying to cut his food 'cause Danny is a rude, ill-bred assfuck. Over in the teacher's lounge, Ms. Grant tells her colleagues that they need to make a decision about casting the lead singer for the International Festival for the Musical Arts. She thinks Coco has it all sewn up, but Mr. Shorofsky says, "Not necessarily" and tells them about a fresh-faced young lad who auditioned earlier and "sings like a dream". He wants to admit him to the School of the Arts, like pronto - but Miss Sherwood scrunches her face in concern and asks him if he noticed anything peculiar about the lad. Mr. Shorofsky just shrugs and says, "He's shy" so Miss Sherwood asks if he questioned him about his background. Mr. Shorofsky says he did, but Jimmy evaded answering by breaking out into song. (So what? Coco did the exact same thing when she auditioned for a Broadway show in the Passing Grade episode.) Miss Sherwood says that Jimmy was probably afraid he wouldn't be admitted to this prestigious institution if people knew he attended a school for special kids. Mr. Shorofsky asks her what she means by special, so she wryly replies, "In a less enlightened age, the term was retarded" and her colleagues all gasp in shock. Doris asks Danny if he gave Diana the mushy love letter she wrote, and he smugly says he did. They run into Diana at her locker, and she smiles at Danny and says, "You're good, Danny. You're very good." Doris jabs Danny, so he schmaltzily replies, "Your loveliness inspired me, and gave me a smile in my heart." He and Diana then ride off together in the sunset, and Doris grins proudly and gushes to no one in particular, "I'm a hit!" Mr. Shorofsky chastises his music class for stinking it up on the last exam - and then introduces Jimmy Osmond, calls him "a fine singer", and urges them to listen to him perform some time. Coco chirps, "How about now?" and Mr. Shorofsky's like, "Sure, why not?" and asks Jimmy if he wouldn't mind showcasing his superb vocalist abilities. Jimmy's game and asks Bruno to play Penny Lane on the piano, then starts belting out the tune without a shred of self-consciousness. Everyone looks impressed and bobs their heads to the beat - except Coco, who looks pissed off now that she has some real competition for the title of Best Singer in School. When Jimmy finishes his song, everyone applauds and rushes up to him...and he's all, "Ack!!", wigs out, and flees the room. Mr. Shorofsky explains that he must have gotten overwhelmed and then rushes out after him. He finds Jimmy in the hall, wringing his hands and muttering, "Mother was right..." Mr. Shorofsky's all, "Wuh?" and steers Jimmy into a nearby closet so they can speak privately. Jimmy confesses that he attends a school for "different" kids like him and now thinks it was a bad idea to audition at the School of the Arts. Mr. Shorofsky argues that he was very brave to do it, and that he has great respect for his courage. He informs him that they're gearing up for an important festival next month and would like him to represent the school as the lead singer. He asks, "Would you stay?" and Jimmy ponders that possibility while staring mutely into space. The faculty is annoyed at Mr. Shorofsky for handing Jimmy the role of lead singer in the festival and cancelling the auditions, and Ms. Grant warns him that the students are going to be very irked. Mr. Reardon wants Jimmy to enrol in his drama class in order to help build his confidence, but Miss Sherwood worries that that could tear him apart. Mr. Shorofsky concedes that he may be guilty of an error in judgement, but he still stands by his decision. Bruno runs into Jimmy in the hall and asks him why he never sees him in any of the non-performance classes like English or chemistry, so Jimmy tells him he has private tutors. Coco storms over, shoots Jimmy the stink-eye and snarls, "For a supposedly shy person, you have some moves." Jimmy's like, "Excuse me?" and she snaps, "I don't think I will." Bruno asks her whassup with her bitchitude, so she informs him that auditions have been cancelled 'cause Jimmy's been handed the role of lead singer. Jimmy starts twitching and explains, "I didn't ask anyone to do that" but Coco continues to glare at him and barks, "They already made their choice." Jimmy gets upset and takes off down the hall, while Coco bitches to Bruno about how unfair it is, and that she's too much of a self-absorbed diva to not unleash her frustration on the hapless Jimmy. Bruno shoots her a disapproving glare and sarcastically asks, "Feel better?" In drama class, Doris is performing a scene with Jimmy...and he's awkward and terrible. When Doris takes a dramatic pause during the scene, Jimmy feeds her the next line, and she snaps, "I know the line! I was just acting. Take it easy." A shame-faced Jimmy mumbles, "Sorry.." and starts twitching nervously. Mr. Reardon suggests that they do a different scene, and Jimmy looks anxious as he leafs through the script and cries, "I'm lost!" Doris tries to help him, but he backs away and cringes. Leroy mumbles to Coco, "He's strange" and Coco bitchily remarks, "Maybe he should sing the part" and bitchily adds, "You know, he didn't have to audition." Jimmy, who looks like he's officially reached the end of his tether, wails, "I can't find it! I can't do it!" and throws the script onto the floor. A concerned looking Bruno rushes over to him and tries to calm him by assuring him that everything's OK, but Jimmy continues to twitch and look very upset. Later, Bruno finds Jimmy crouched near a stairwell, looking miserable. Bruno asks him whassup and tells him he's supposed to be in music class. Jimmy says he can't go, and that he doesn't belong at this school, but Bruno disagrees and insists that he has a lot of talent. Jimmy tells him he already has a place to sing - at the school he attends for the educationally handicapped. He says he isn't good enough to attend school with kids who are "perfect and normal" and laments how he'll never be like them. He gets up and heads for the exit, and when Bruno tries to stop him, he snaps, "Leave me alone!" Danny tracks down Doris, who's in the library frantically studying for a test. He tells her he needs her to come up with some more romantic material to pass along to Diana, but Doris says she doesn't have time, and that it's time for "the little birdie to leave the nest" and deal with his own life problems himself. Bruno drops by Jimmy Osmond's school, which looks more like a fun rec center than a school. Jimmy's in one of his classes, telling his classmates all about the School of the Arts, and how bitchy and self-absorbed the kids all were - except for a guy with Chia Pet hair named Bruno. One of the students asks him to sing them a song, and when he agrees, another student limps across the room to retrieve his guitar. Bruno, meanwhile, is ambling down the hall looking for Jimmy...and a few seconds later he hears him singing and heads in the direction of his voice. Bruno stands in the doorway of the classroom as Jimmy enthusiastically croons and his classmates happily clap along. Bruno smiles at the endearing sight and quietly leaves. Diana bitches at Danny for standing her up, and then accuses him of having another girl on the side...but Danny insists he had no idea he stood her up. She orders him to say something sweet to her...and he struggles to think of something vaguely suitable and comes up with: "Your hair smells like a million grains of sand" and then: "I'm hot for you. And you're hot for me." Diana stares at him in incredulity and blurts out, "Hot?!" then snarks, "I thought you were different and special! But you're not special at all!" - no duh - and storms off. Danny angrily bellows, "Doris!" and sprints down the hall. Ms. Grant's dance class is performing a vigorous looking routine, but Coco's dancing isn't up to snuff 'cause Ms. Grant keeps barking at her to "work it". After the bell, Leroy tells Coco that Jimmy's parents took him out of school - which means the auditions for the festival are back on. Coco, however, doesn't seem pleased by the news and stares contemplatively into space. Danny finds Doris hanging out in the drama classroom. He blames her for losing Diana, but Doris says he shouldn't have expected her to help him keep that relationship going indefinitely and points out that Diana obviously liked someone who wasn't the real him. Well, d'yuh. It's Danny. Coco visits Jimmy at his school, and her presence makes him anxiously wring his hands. Coco tells him they all really miss him, including her. He gives her a seriously? look and wails, "You hurt meeeee!" Coco sheepishly apologizes for her cunty behavior and says she'd like to make it up to him. Jimmy says he belongs at his own school - but Coco says he should try to aspire for more, and then challenges him to audition for the festival. She says if he wins the audition, it'll be 'cause of his "heart and voice", and she can handle that. (How gracious of you.) Jimmy wails, "You don't understannnnnd!" and Coco insists she does, and says that she too gets scared and twitchy whenever she's about to perform in front of a crowd. Jimmy quietly mulls that over...and Coco tip-toes out of the room. Danny finds Diana in the library and confesses that all the mushy lines he used on her were written by Doris. He says he really does have real feelings for her, but that it's clear she couldn't give a hoot about him. He dejectedly heads toward the exit...and Diana looks as though she may want to chase after him, but doesn't. Coco tells Mr. Shorofsky that she begged Jimmy Osmond to come back to school and audition for the festival. She's puzzled at herself for going out of her way to look out for a person she considers competition, and Mr. Shorofsky credits her for being a mensch. She's like, "What's a mensch?" and he grins at her and explains, "You're growing up, cookie!" Jimmy Osmond is on stage, looking very nervous as he's about to perform at the festival...or the audition for the festival. It's kind of unclear. Bruno gives him a reassuring nod and says, "You belong here", and Jimmy starts singing in his fantastic Osmond voice. A few seconds later, Coco joins him for a duo! Danny, meanwhile, is watching the spectacle with Diana sitting next to him, and the two look cozy. I guess she came around and decided to give the moron a shot. When the performance comes to a merciful end, Jimmy and Coco get a standing ovation. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: Leroy is anxiously racing through a crowded sidewalk to get to the School of Arts for a rehearsal. Over in the dance gym, Ms. Grant is bellowing at the class about how being late for rehearsal is like a capital crime in the professional dancing world, then barks, "You are breaking the moment!" Leroy arrives and stands in the doorway until Ms. Grant yells at him to get his ass in the room. He tries to explain why he's late, but she cuts him off...and he grumbles about how uptight she always is. She snaps, "Shut up and start gyrating!" and the rehearsal officially begins. Julie's in one of the private music rooms, playing her cello. Mr. Shorofsky enters the room and asks her why she's torturing herself by playing the same chord over and over again, 'cause it's already perfect. She glumly asks, "If it's perfect, why didn't I win the competition?" so he explains that while technique can be executed perfectly, music has an intangible, subjective quality that makes it virtually impossible to attain perfection. He urges her to put all of her emotions, whether they be good or bad, into her music. Doris suddenly bursts into the room to tell Julie that her dad is on the phone in the office...and for some reason, Julie doesn't react and just mutely stares into space. At Mr. Shorofsky's urging, Julie finally lumbers over to the office to take the call. Her dad tells her he's going to be in New York this week and wants to know if she's free for lunch on Wednesday. He says he has something very important to tell her and wants to do it face-to-face. Ho hum. Ms. Grant gets fed up when Leroy is late for yet another rehearsal and abruptly announces that some flunky named Michael will now be the lead dancer in the show. Michael's like, "Wuh?" and nervously asks, "What about Leroy?" and Ms. Grant snaps, "I don't see a Leroy." Michael suggests waiting a few more minutes for Leroy to saunter in, but Ms. Grant refuses...and when Michael warns her that Leroy is going to be plenty steamed when he finds out he's been replaced, Ms. Grant sassily retorts, "You'd better make up your mind who you're more afraid of: Leroy or me." Michael looks like he's probably equally frightened of them both, but since Ms. Grant is the one who's currently hovering over him with a pissed off expression on her face, he obediently gets into his ready position. Before he can begin leaping and twirling, however, Leroy bursts in exclaiming, "I got it! Let's go!" - but Ms. Grant orders him to sit down, then informs him that Michael is now the lead dancer. Leroy asks why, so Ms. Grant snaps, "Because Michael was here" and the two bicker back and forth, blah blah. Leroy snarls about her many rules, and that he doesn't feel much like dancing no mo', so Ms. Grant barks, "You are finished!" He shoots back, "Ain't that the truth!" and she orders him to get the hell out. Coco gets in on that action and chimes in from behind the group of dancers by snarking, "You chump! You'd better come here and work and not make us look bad!" and Leroy grunts at her in his usual grunty, scowly way and storms out of the room. Doris barges into the music room where Julie is playing her cello and asks how her phone conversation with her dad went yesterday. Damn she's nosy. Julie says she's scared 'cause last time her dad had something important to tell her, it was that he and her mom were getting divorced. Doris says, "Maybe they're getting back together!" and Julie perks up as she mulls over this unlikely possibility and chirps, "I didn't think of that!" She's suddenly in a much happier mood, thanks Doris, and kisses her cello. There's no way this isn't a major letdown just waiting to happen. Coco tells Danny that she saw Leroy walking on 28th Street - and when he spotted her trailing after him, he took off running. She says she hopes he's not into any gang activity - but if he is, they need to find out for sure. Danny tells her it's too dangerous for her to walk around that neighborhood by herself and agrees to accompany her on her next spy mission. Leroy bounds up the subway stairs and prances across the street - and he does that while wearing a tank top, short shorts, and socks pulled up to his knees. Yikes, '80s. Coco and Danny are in close pursuit, and we get to watch them run after Leroy in a cat and mouse chase for what seems like a looooong time - but eventually they lose track of him on a busy sidewalk. Coco asks Miss Sherwood what she's going to do about Leroy's incomplete essay assignment, and Miss Sherwood says she's not discussing any disciplinary action that she may or may not be taking against another student. Coco begs her to not come down too hard on Leroy 'cause she suspects that he's gone back to "street life". Miss Sherwood scrunches her face in concern as she contemplates Leroy's return to the street and says she'll consider this conversation as a friend being concerned about a friend. Julie and her dad are having lunch at a fancy restaurant. He starts nattering about how children often view their parents as perfect, and that part of growing up is discovering that it's not necessarily true 'cause dads can fuck up just like everyone else. He then admits that he messed up his marriage and that "grownups get confused", but that they can also start fresh and rebuild. He asks Julie if she's able to follow the nonsensical blather that's coming out of his mouth, and she smiles and says, "Oh, I hope so!" Uh oh. Sounds like an easily avoidable misunderstanding in the making. Doris nosily asks Julie what happened during her lunch with her father and Julie glumly tells her that he's getting remarried - to a woman who's not her mother. Doris looks shocked and is all, "Wha-a?" In music class, Julie looks morose as she plays her cello, and Mr. Shorofsky watches her concernedly. After class, Julie confides in him about her dad's plans to remarry. Mr. Shorofsky's like, "That sucks" then tells her that composers often redirect their personal pain into their music. Julie wails, "I'm scared there's no music left inside of me!" but he assures her that that could never happen. I think it probably could, but then I'm a recapper not a musician...and don't care about this lame storyline. Coco is waiting by the exit of the building on scary 28th Street, in which she spotted Leroy enter during her latest spy mission. A bunch of people suddenly stream out of the building, and Leroy is among them. He looks surprised to see Coco and asks her whassup, and she motions at the group of people he just exited the building with and says, "That's the strangest gang I've ever seen." Leroy laughs and says they're a dance troupe called Fast Flow. Haha! That sounds like a brand name for maxi-pads. He explains that they rented this dump to rehearse in until their next show starts, then tells her that this is where he's been hanging out all week. He describes the experience as, "No rules, no bells. Just moves and grooves" and tells Coco that the troupe is looking to add one male dancer to the group, and that auditions are next week. Godspeed, Leroy. Back at the School of the Arts, Leroy enters the dance gym after being summoned by Ms. Grant. She cuts right to the chase and says she'd like him to coach Michael, who's not quite up to snuff in portraying the "three dimensional person" the lead dancer's role requires. She admits that while it would mean being an important part of the show, he still wouldn't actually be in it. Leroy says he wouldn't mind doing it, but doesn't think he'll be here. Ms. Grant's all, "Wha-a?" so Leroy tells her that something's come up and that he may be able to leave this dump of a school for a chance at a better life. Ms. Grant looks indignant and snaps, "You can't do that!" and Leroy snaps back, "I can do whatever I want!" then says he's tired of being told what he can and cannot do, and then storms out of the room. Ms. Grant is sitting at the piano, looking mournful, when Mr. Shorofsky enters the room. She wryly tells him, "Every note I hit is out of tune" and then wonders if any of it even matters. Mr. Shorofsky tells her about his recent success with a student - we'll call her Julie - who told him she feared she had no music left in her anymore...however, after a comforting chat with the cuddly old bear, she realized she still has music inside of her. He then produces some music sheets and says it's Bruno's latest song...and starts playing it on the piano and singing. Ms. Grant sings along and looks thoroughly cheered up by the end of the performance. On 28th Street, Coco tells Leroy she's going to miss him soooo much when he drops out of school to become a paid gyrater. She solemnly says, "Break a leg, man" and Leroy scampers off to audition for Fast Flow - the dance troupe that offers absorbent protection you can rely on. Ms. Grant enters the dance gym and finds Leroy hanging with his schoolmates. She wryly says, "I thought you left to learn the ways of the world" and he says, "You knew, didn't you?" and tries to get her to admit that she knew he was auditioning for a dance troupe. Leroy then claims that the selection panel (or whoever) refused to allow him to audition him because of his age (apparently they don't want twenty year olds), then vaguely cites "labor laws, welfare rules, and who knows what else?" as the barriers for his audition. Michael looks relieved and says that Leroy can be in the show after all! Coco tells Ms. Grant that they've been rehearsing and think "it's pretty special", then exclaims, "We're talkin' heat!" Ms. Grant reminds them that Leroy has missed too many rehearsals, but Coco's like, "Blah blah blah.." and urges her to sit down and watch them perform. Leroy suddenly starts leaping about while thrusting his pelvis, dressed in a mesh shirt and his usual short shorts. Ms. Grant bobs her head and starts to get into it, and a group of passersby stand in the doorway of the dance gym and bob their heads approvingly. When they finally finish the number, Coco rushes over to Ms. Grant and stares at her expectantly and goes, "Well..?" and Ms. Grant nods and says in a flat voice, "It was hot. Great." The performers look thrilled with themselves, but then deflate when Ms. Grant refuses to reinstate Leroy as the lead dancer and insists that the role belongs to Michael. Michael's all, "Wha-a? I don't wannit!" and Leroy tells him it's OK for him to be the lead dancer - then offers to coach him. He orders him to come in at 7am, then barks, "And don't be late!" which makes everyone chuckle. Ms. Grant smiles at Leroy and says, "Welcome back" and invites him to share her sandwich, but he declines and sadly shuffles across the room. She asks him if he's OK, and he mumbles, "Not even close" and Ms. Grant cocks her head in confusion. Everyone's in the theater, preparing for the show. Dwight is hanging up a poster when Ms. Grant goes over and tells the nitwit that there's no point in hanging the poster inside the theater, since people inside the theater have already bought a ticket. Dwight thinks hard and says, "Maybe I should put it up outside..?" and Ms. Grant condescendingly replies, "There you go!" Miss Sherwood arrives and asks Ms. Grant if she's nervous about the show, and the two talk about Michael - and not Leroy - being the lead dancer, blah blah. They decide that they probably shouldn't want give up on Leroy...or at least not want to give up on him at the same time, then promise to do their best to keep him in school. Oh joy. On the night of the show, everyone's backstage - in costume - and doing last minute preparations. Mr. Shorofsky finds Julie practicing her cello and tells her that people are lined up for blocks (seriously?). She tells him she decided not to invite her father and says she's just not ready to hang with him...and Mr. Shorofsky says he can respect that. The curtain goes up, and Julie and Bruno take the stage to perform the opening number. Mr. Shorofsky watches Julie intensely, and it looks like she's pouring all of her emotions into her performance - just like he advised her to. Bravo, Mr. Shorofsky. Ms. Grant finds Leroy in the dressing room, sitting in front of the mirror crying. Ms. Grant asks him whassup, and he snarls at her to leave him alone. She says she knows he's disappointed about the show, and he runs over to the wall, punches a gym mat and yells, "Leave me alooone!" A few seconds later, he admits that the selection panel for Fast Flow didn't tell him he was too young - they said he wasn't good enough...yet. He gives Ms. Grant an incredulous stare and says, "No one's never said that to me before." He says he knows he has to work hard at subjects like math and reading, but has always been able to "catch fire" while dancing. LOL. He sadly says that if he doesn't have dancing to cling onto, he doesn't have anything. Ms. Grant points out that the panel said he wasn't good enough yet - which is precisely why he's at the School of the Arts: so he can get good. That's a very pleasant way to sugarcoat Leroy's utter lack of technical skill. She promises to work with him if he agrees to give it all he has, but he just stares tearfully into space. Julie is still performing on her cello, and it looks like she's really getting into the performance 'cause her eyes are closed and her head's kind of swaying with the music. When she finally finishes, the audience claps enthusiastically, and Mr. Shorofsky looks very impressed and gives her a giant bear hug. Now it's time for the big number, and (ugh) we get to watch it all over again - this time with Michael dancing the lead. As Ms. Grant grins and bobs her head, Mr. Shorofsky asks her if she was able to reach Leroy, and she replies, "I dunno. I hope so." It looks like she was able to reach Leroy, 'cause over in the dance gym, Leroy is happily gyrating by himself, following Michael's dance moves as the music streams in from the nearby theater. I think that kid's going to be aw' right. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! |
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Television of Yore
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