Recap: At ColbyCo, Steven is bitchily admonishing Adam for his role in Danny's abduction when Alexis enters the office and asks her sons why they're arguing. Steven sourly replies, "Adam helped Sammy Jo disappear with Danny" - but Adam insists it wasn't his fault that Sammy Jo was able to trick him so easily. Steven growls about how there will be hell to pay if anything happens to his beloved tot, so Alexis points out that despite Sammy Jo's overall skankitude, she'd never do anything to harm her cash cow - I mean son.
Blake and Andy are at the Denver Lawlor Bank to beg for capital funding to build up "the new and improved Denver Carrington". The banker, Mr. Lawlor, goes over the list of Blake's assets, namely Carrington manor, and remarks on how difficult it would be to try to sell that monstrosity of a 40+ room mansion. Andy tells him that Blake isn't looking to sell the property so much as use it as collateral...and Mr. Lawlor mulls that over, says he's going to need a few days to decide how much money his podunk bank can reasonably lend. A few seconds later, Krystle calls Blake at the bank to alert him about Danny's disappearance.
Blake, Krystle, and Steven are discussing the missing Danny. Steven points out that since Sammy Jo has no money, she'll likely hit up someone she knows. Adam enters the room and says the police probably won't lift a finger to help, given that Sammy Jo is Danny's biological mother. Steven snappishly blames him for his son being snatched...and the two start bickering and look like they're going to start throwing punches. Blake barks at them to cut it out, then reminds everyone that it's times like this that they need to pull together in find strength in one another. He punches an arm in the air and decrees, "We Carringtons will prevail!" - LOL - and everyone in the room looks deeply inspired and dutifully bobs their heads.
Alexis calls Conrad, her private banker, and orders him to get the skinny on where/how Blake is looking to raise funds to refinance Denver Carrington.
Over at the La Mirage, Dominique tells Claudia she'd like to perform her boring lounge singing act in the La Mirage dining area...and Claudia says that while she loooooves the idea, she can't afford a singer of her caliber 'cause her entertainment budge is only 2K a week. Dominique waves her hand in the air and says she's A-OK taking the issue of money off the table 'cause she's mostly interested in knowing if her bland performance style is appealing to middle America. Claudia wanks her by gushing, "They'll love you", and Dominique cryptically says that by the time her Dynasty stint is over, she wants to have left her mark on Denver.
Alexis is meeting with the defense team for her upcoming trial: Adam and Warren Ballard. Ballard suggests that part of the strategy for her defense should be to try to see the case through the prosecutor's eyes - but Alexis scoffs at that notion and insists that the case is largely based on circumstantial evidence. Ballard disagrees and reminds her that she wrote a 100K check to Mark that smacks of blackmail, was in the penthouse at or around the time Mark was shoved off of the balcony, and - most disturbingly - had been hitting the sheets with him last season during their icky May-December affair. Alexis concedes that those are all good points - then is saved by the bell when Conrad calls to report that Blake has applied for a multi-million dollar loan from the Denver Lawlor Bank.
Jeff and the police are putting their heads together to go over various leads in the search for Fallon, which include a large number of crank callers.
Jeff ambles into the study at Carrington manor, where Blake is sitting by the fire and drinking tea. Jeff gives him an update on the police investigation...and then Blake tells him he's in the process of reorganizing Denver Carrington and is determined to land on his feet. Jeff offers to give him whatever money is currently in his trust, and Blake looks touched and says, "You're like a son to me" - but declines the offer and says he's pretty sure the bank loan will come through.
Steven calls Sammy Jo's friends to see if she's gotten in touch with any of them since snatching Danny last episode, but doesn't have any luck. Claudia massages his shoulders and urges him to come to bed.
Alexis summons Mr. Lawlor to her penthouse to tell him she heard he was considering loaning Blake money, and would like to "help out" by buying the loan so that the mansion, aka her children's heritage, won't be in danger of getting foreclosed on. Mr. Lawlor decides he sees no problem with handing over the loan to Blake's ex-wife without so much as giving him a heads up, and takes her up on the offer.
Krystle finds Blake moping around the kitchen, mulling over his financial conundrums, along with the disappearances of Fallon and Danny. Krystle sheepishly tells him she feels guilty about bringing Sammy Jo into their lives and wants to know what she can do to make up for it, and he tells her that continuing to love him as she's been doing (ew) is more than enough.
Alexis enters Steven's office as he's clearing out his desk. She poutishly asks him to stay 'cause she neeeeeeds him at ColbyCo, not least 'cause her murder trial is coming up. She insists she had nothing to do with Mark's untimely demise and begs him to not walk out on her...and Steven softens and says he'll continue on at the company until the police finally figure out who really shot the '70s porn 'stache gigolo.
Krystle presents Blake with a check for $4.5 million...and he's all, "Wha-a-a? Where did you get that kind of cash?" then looks around the bedroom and realizes that all of her furs and the chunkiest of her chunky jewelry pieces are gone. He gets peeved and snaps, "Those things weren't for sale!" then moans, "Wha-at's haaaaappening to us?" Krystle says she sold all of her tacky furs and gaudy jewelry 'cause she loves him and would like their marriage to be less sugar daddy and more partnership oriented. Blake mulls that over, apologizes for screwing the pooch so badly with that cursed South China Sea oil deal, and gushes about what a wonderful wife she is.
Sergeant Roscoe calls to tell Jeff that he thinks they found Fallon...and by thinks they found Fallon, he means he's pretty sure she's laying on a cold slab at the morgue, and could he please swing by to identify the body? When an ashen Jeff relays this info to Krystle, she gasps in pensive horror and offers to tag along.
When Jeff and Krystle arrive at the morgue, Sergeant Roscoe tells them they found the naked, badly bruised body of the woman (they assume is Fallon) near a rock quarry. The pathologist pulls the body out of the freezer thing...and Jeff stares at the dead woman's face, murmurs, "It's not Fallon", and abruptly exits the room. When Krystle rushes out after him, he presses his head against the wall and moans about how he's now going to live in dread of future morgue visits, and that sooner or later he's going to have to tell Little Blake that his mother may never come home.
Over at the La Mirage, Billy Dee Williams shows Dominique the telegram she just received: a lucrative offer to sing in a fancy Vegas hotel. Dominique says she's declining the implausible offer 'cause she prefers to stay in Denver...and Billy Dee Williams scrunches his face confusedly and says he doesn't get why she's wasting her talent in such a yokelly part of the country.
Mr. Lawlor tells Blake he's prepared to offer him a loan of $12.2 million, using Carrington manor as collateral...and skips mentioning the part about how Alexis now holds the note on his mortgaged mansion. Blake happily accepts the check and tells Andy that between this loan and Krystle's fur/jewelry money, he's in a position to start buying back oil fields.
Billy Dee Williams and Dominique bicker about her decision to stay in Denver. Fuuuuuuck. She tells him "there's an issue of birthright" she's currently looking into and promises to be less vague about this dull-as-fuck storyline in the near future. Bill Dee Williams says he wants to know now, then grabs her and snarls, "Tell me!" She whirls around and shoots him the stink-eye, and he shoots an angry glare back at her and before storming out of the suite.
Alexis and Dex are having breakfast in the penthouse, and she's less than pleased when he tells her has to jet off to Wyoming to attend a board meeting. He sexily struts off just as Adam arrives to inform Alexis that the trial date has been set for sometime in November. He says that the 100K check she gave Mark is going to be a UGE problem for their defense, and Alexis irritably mutters, "I should have killed Mark before giving it to him." When Adam stares back at her with his eyebrows raised, she chuckles nervously and says it was just a figure of speech.
Dominique is in her suite, primping for her evening singing gig. Billy Dee Williams returns and tells her he can't stick around Denver any longer 'cause he has a business in Los Angeles to run, and implores her to return to California with him in the morning. Dominique declines, and he's all, "Whyyyyy are you throwing your career away?" ... and when she doesn't retort, he dejectedly exits the suite.
That evening, Blake, Krystle, and Claudia arrive at the La Mirage to listen to Dominique's lounge music. Blake greets Dominique and apologizes for being such a rude dickwad the last time they spoke. He then introduces her to Krystle and politely says, "I hope we meet again" ... and Dominique smugly retorts, "We will. Believe me" and flounces off. As Blake stares after her in puzzlement, Claudia says she gets the distinct feeling that the weirdo has something against him.
As Dominique performs, a pissed off looking Billy Dee Williams sits at the bar and drinks, while Jeff stands at the back of the room and cries while having flashbacks of him and Fallon hitting the sheets in a Montana hotel.
Later, Jeff informs Krystle that Sergeant Roscoe just informed him that he has a strong lead in the search for Fallon. He asks her to please pass that info along to Blake.
Blake pays a visit to Avril Dawson to smugly inform him that Denver Carrington is back in business, thanks to a sizable loan he just secured from the Denver Lawlor Bank. Avril says he already heard all about it, and that he didn't expect Alexis to bail him out. When Blake is all, "Wuh?", Avril gleefully explains that his vindictive ex-wife now holds the note on his mortgage. Bwahahaha!
Blake storms over to ColbyCo, where a smug Alexis tells him that this is her way of getting even with all the shitty stuff he's ever done to her. Blake bitchily reminds her that she has a murder trial looming and hopes she'll be found guilty and rots in prison. He growls, "I can't wait for that day" and storms out of her office.
Jeff and Sergeant Roscoe question a truck driver who claims he picked up a hitchhiking Fallon shortly after her accident. He says she was headed to Portland...and Jeff furrows his caterpillar eyebrows and tells the sergeant, "I guess this means I'm off to Portland."
Recap: The police have arrived on the scene of Fallon's car accident and are studying the remains of her smashed up car. Jeff pulls up, sees the wreckage, and moans, "Dear God, let her be all right." He races over to the ambulance, but is startled when he sees that the only injured person being treated by paramedics is the truck driver who hit Fallon's car. He runs over to her smashed up car and tells police that the woman who was driving is his ex/future wife. The policeman says there's no trace of her anywhere, then invites Jeff to sit in the back of his squad car so they can put their heads together and figure out why in blazes Pamela Sue Martin would voluntarily leave her lucrative Dynasty role for what ended up being a pretty disappointing acting career.
Over at Carrington manor, Blake is staring worriedly out of the bedroom window when Krystle enters the room and tells him she finally cleared the mansion of the last of the wedding guests. Blake grumbles about how much he hates waiting around and wishes he'd gone with Jeff instead of just uselessly standing in his driveway and getting rained on while yelling, "Fallonnnnn!"
At the local courthouse, Dex and Steven are bickering about the best way to handle Alexis's arrest. A few minutes later, she's brought in, still decked out in the off-the-shoulder poofy red gown she wore to Fallon's wedding, and stands before the judge. She haughtily complains to him about the indignity of being forced into a cell with a bunch of wretched women, and the judge tells her to shut it so they can sort out her bail. He tells the prosecutor and defense attorney that while he thinks the basics of the case are sketchy at best, he believes the police had good reason to arrest her, then sets the bail at $2 million. Alexis gasps and asks Dex how fast he can come up with that kind of cash, and he says he'll have it in an hour or so and gives her a reassuring cheek kiss. Alexis then turns to Steven and poutishly contorts her lips as she breathily coos, "What's happening to us? To Fallon?" then presses herself against him and stares perplexedly into space.
Over at Carrington manor, Sammy Jo holds a framed photo of Danny and rhetorically asks Adam why she ever agreed to give up custody of him. Adam suggests she find a way to share custody with Steven, then shrugs disinterestedly at her predicament and says he should prolly go upstairs and find a way to comfort Blake during this difficult time. Sammy Jo pleads with him to stay with her and sexily purrs, "I think about you day and night" ... and Adam looks momentarily intrigued by being wanted so badly by such a smokin' hot skanklet - but makes it clear he's not interested in them hitting the sheets 'cause he doesn't want to incur the wrath of Steven. Sammy Jo says they could always doink in secret, and he chuckles and jokes about that being "the wine talking", then beats a hasty retreat.
After posting bail, a weary looking Alexis arrives at her penthouse with Dex and Steven. She asks Steven to please keep her updated about Fallon's disappearance, then lights up a cigarette to decompress. She moans to Dex about how tired, drained, and depleted she is, then breathily implores him, "Hold me. I need you tonight" and Dex indulges her with a super tight hug.
Back at the mansion, Jeff wanders into the kitchen, where Blake is pouring himself a cup of tea. Jeff informs Blake that Fallon's smashed up car was found by the side of the road, but that there was no trace of her. Blake suddenly gets all snappish and demands to know if he checked with the local hospitals, then admonishes him for giving up on the search so quickly...and Jeff says that yeah he did check in at all the local hospitals and has been searching alongside the police for the last five hours, and somehow refrains from telling the cantankerous old goat to suck on it.
The next morning, Alexis reads the newspaper, the cover of which features the latest tragedy to befall the Carringtons. Blake drops by the penthouse to tell Alexis that the police have organized a special task force to work around the clock in search of Fallon, which apparently they do as a matter of course for missing rich people. He asks Alexis if she can think of anywhere their daughter may have run off to, and she says she honestly has no idea - but recalls that Steven told her Fallon had once complained of terrible headaches. She stares mournfully into space and says she regrets not paying more attention to her...and a defeated looking Blake concurs and sadly shuffles out of the penthouse.
Jeff is in the nursery, reading Little Blake a story. Little Blake suddenly blurts out, "Where's mommy?" so Jeff tells him she'll turn up at the end of Season 5 so that viewers can have plenty of time to adjust to a British brunette being recast in the role. Blake enters the room to canoodle his grandson and tell Jeff how desperate he is to find out what happened to Fallon. Jeff says he's going to put up a 100K reward for information leading to her safe return, then solemnly promises Blake that he's going to bring her home.
Over at ColbyCo, Alexis tells Adam that she too is putting up a cash reward for information leading to Fallon's safe return. She comes right out and asks him if he thinks she killed Mark, then looks appalled when he silently mulls over the safest way to answer that tricky question. She tells him she wants him to be on her defense team, 'cause she trusts that he'll do his best, them being mother and son and all. Adam agrees, but says she's going to have to reveal every blechy detail about her May-December hookup with the '70s porn-stache gigolo.
Blake is moping around the mansion when he decides to go for a drive in one of his luxury cars. Krystle sees him heading for the door and insists on accompanying him.
Blake drives over to one of the oil fields he currently has up for sale, and then he and Krystle amble around in the dirt as he reminisces about the founding of Denver Carrington, twenty-five years ago. When he sadly adds, "Now it's gone", Krystle points out that while the money is gone, he still has his family (minus Fallon for now), then coos about how much she loooooves him. Blake gets all prickly and accuses her of staying with him purely out of pity, and she's all, "Wha-a-a?" and says he's going to have to get it through his thick skull that, hard as it might be for anyone who's witnessed for the past four seasons what a soulless dickwad he can be toward his own family members, she really does love him for him.
Dominique Deveraux is luxuriating in her luxurious La Mirage suite when her husband, Billy Dee Williams, pays her a surprise visit. He asks her what on earth she's still doing in Denver, so she tells him she's here to take care of business...and by business she means possibly purchasing this hotel. In the meantime, she's going to try getting a gig performing as a singer in the La Mirage dining room so that she can better connect with middle America.
Sammy Jo is loading up on carbs at the mansion's daily breakfast buffet. She asks Adam if he'd like to take her and Danny on a picnic later, but he politely declines and says he's too busy. Steven enters the room, decked out in a Princeton sweatshirt and extremely short shorts, snappishly tells Sammy Jo he needs to talk to her - but she retorts in an equally snappish tone that she has no time for him, then storms out of the room. Steven sourly asks Adam if he's tapping that, and Adam assures him he's not getting his penis anywhere near that dicey situation, not least 'cause he respects their brotherhood and newly established friendship. Gerard enters the room and reports to Adam and Steven that Blake was up all night pacing, but finally managed to fall asleep. Adam glumly stares into space and remarks, "Losing an empire must be depressing", and Steven points out that what's probably tormenting Blake is the contrived mystery surrounding Fallon's disappearance.
Krystle brings Blake a pot of coffee and tells him he needs to stop moping around the bedroom and get his shit together. He mulls that over and promises to do his best to snap out of his funk in the next day or so.
Steven gets a call at the office from Claudia, inviting him out to dinner and movie later. He tells her he'll probably be too busy working, then starts sorting through a stack of ColbyCo financial reports.
Steven drops by the penthouse to tell Alexis she's busted, then explains that he discovered a bookkeeping "error" of $5 million. When she sheepishly tries to deny any wrongdoing, he accuses her of withdrawing the money so she could take it to Hong Kong and use it to pay Ahmed to tank the South China Sea oil deal and leave Blake saddled with the $100 million debt. Alexis admits that, yep, that's pretty much exactly what happened - but insists that Blake drove her to it 'cause of his smug douchebaggery. Steven looks unmoved and says he's going to head over to Carrington manor and tattle on her to Blake asap.
In the nursery, Sammy Jo is bickering with Claudia and Danny's nanny about the safety of a (sharp edged) toy truck the tot was playing with. Sammy Jo barks at the nanny to give the toy back to Danny - just as Steven enters the room and glowers at his ex-skank. He asks the nanny to please take Danny elsewhere, then tells Sammy Jo he's so fed up with her shit that he wants her out of Carrington manor within the hour. Sammy Jo snaps that she's suing him for custody of Danny, and he wearily retorts, "We'll see you in court. Now get the hell out of here."
Sammy Jo storms downstairs and runs into Krystle. She tells her that Steven just kicked her out of the mansion and would like her to sashay upstairs and reverse his decree...then looks faux contrite and whines that she has no place to go. Krystle shrugs disinterestedly and says that's her problem, and that she'll find a way to cope as she always does.
Billy Dee Williams drops by Claudia's La Mirage office to inquire about his wife getting a singing gig at the hotel, and Claudia says that since she's already familiar with her lovely singing voice, she doesn't see a problem with agreeing to that boring arrangement.
Sammy Jo tells Adam she's flying back to New York asap and would like him to drive her to the airport...along with Danny so she can savor as many last minute hugs from the little gaffer as possible. When Adam looks unsure about granting her this favor, she appeals to his sensitivity as a father for the two minutes he parented his ill-fated baby with Kirby. He stares sadly into space for a few seconds, then agrees.
Steven tracks down Blake, who's horseback riding on the estate, and tells him all about how Alexis betrayed him in Hong Kong, and that he has hard proof she paid Ahmed $5 million to ruin their oil deal. Blake perks up at that and says he always suspected she was behind that fiasco, and promises to give her a lesson she'll never forget. He growls, "I'll bury her like she's tried to bury me."
Krystle is delighted to see that Blake is back to his usual self, and grins happily as he gabbles at her with renewed vigor about how he's going to get things shaking over at Denver Carrington, and then deal with issuing a statement to the press regarding his disappeared daughter.
At the airport, Adam pulls over and walks Sammy Jo, who's holding Danny, inside the terminal. Sammy Jo suddenly stops and tells Adam she left something in the car and that she'll meet him inside...then quickly hails a cab, climbs inside with Danny, and looks pleased with herself for so easily outsmarting Adam.
Recap: The mysterious woman from the previous episode - and I'm just going to rip the bandaid off and start referring to her as Dominique (Deveraux), 'cause her 'I'm a mysterious newcomer' schtick is quickly starting to grate - is sitting at the piano, entertaining the dinner guests with her lovely singing voice. I fast forwarded to the part where Alexis sweeps in and seats herself at the bar and orders champagne...and a few seconds later, the singing mercifully wraps up. Dominique nods at the obligatory applause, then sashays over to where Alexis is seated. Alexis sheepishly admits she now realizes she's a quasi-famous singer, and Dominique brags about how rich she is and how many properties she owns. Alexis asks her why she didn't tell her who she was when they had their riddle-filled one-on-one the other day, and Dominque says her ego was bruised when she (or anyone else in Denver, for that matter) didn't immediately recognize who she was and fawn over her...plus, she's enjoying skulking around Denver in fur draped coats, making her (Alexis) uncomfortable. As she stalks off in her glittery white pants suit, Alexis asks the bartender how long her sassy new cast mate is going to be a guest at La Mirage, and he says indefinitely.
Steven ambles down to the study, where Blake is pouring himself a cup of tea. Blake asks whassup with his obvious restlessness, so Steven tells him he's freaked out about possibly losing his son now that Sammy Jo has expressed that she suddenly wants custody of the tot. Blake is all, "Wuh?" and somehow refrains from reminding Steven that earlier this season there was an entire episode that centered around a judge officially giving him and his wife-beard custody of Danny after the two got married in Reno.
Sammy Jo is lounging in Morgan Hess's bed, munching pizza. When he enters his apartment, he looks surprised to see her there...so she explains that the janitor let her in 'cause apparently he remembered her from when she and Hess used to regularly doink. Interesting revelation...and ew. She holds up the bouquet of violets he has sitting on his nightstand and says, "They nearly did the trick on her, didn't they?" and the two recap for viewers that, off camera earlier this season, they had conspired to drive Claudia so crazy she'd have to be re-committed to the funny farm. Hess asks her how she'd react if he blabbed about their conspiracy to the Carringtons...and she says, on the upside, they'd finally realize she's not the stupid tart they think she is, then tells him how angry she still is about how they once humiliated her in court. Sammy Jo warns Hess that if he tattles on her he'll never see her again...and he quickly assures her he was just kidding, and that he still dreams about her and calls her "the most beautiful thing I've ever known". As he smooches her neck, Sammy Jo smiles smugly to herself.
Kirby drops by the penthouse to talk to Alexis, who snappishly tells her she's in a shitty mood and to just say what she came to say, then get the hell out. Kirby assures her it won't take long, then reminds her that she walked out on her when she brought her to her father's bungalow during The Check episode. Alexis is like, "Well, d'yuh" and says she tuned her out during that scene 'cause all she did was natter about her father's death, and Kirby's like, "Speaking of my father.." (fuuuuuuuck) and once again tells Alexis she's to blame for the man's suicide. Alexis refuses to listen and orders her to get out - but Kirby refuses, says she robbed her of the most important person in her life by driving him to suicide, then declares, "A life for a life." As Alexis rolls her eyes impatiently, Kirby pulls out her handgun and aims it at her - and Alexis gasps, "Oh God!" Kirby smugly retorts, "Oh yes, pray to him" and Alexis reminds her that her nutty mother committed a similar crime and was sentenced to a mental institution. Kirby yells at her to not to invoke her murderous mother...and her hands start shaking uncontrollably. Alexis tells her if she felt this strongly about killing her, she would have shot her at her father's bungalow, and Kirby says she had every intention of doing just that - but then lost her nerve when the pesky neighbor interrupted. Alexis urges her to shoot, egging her on by saying, "Pull the trigger and watch me die." Kirby looks stricken as her hands start to shake even more uncontrollably...but eventually she decides she can't commit murder after all and meekly puts the gun down. She tearfully asks Alexis if she's going to call the police, but Alexis assures her she won't if she agrees to not marry Adam and then moves to Paris while keeping mum about this conversation. If, however, she chooses to marry Adam, she (Alexis) will cut Adam off...which kind of seems like a pretty hollow threat 'cause doesn't he work at Denver Carrington and live in Blake's mansion? Kirby calls Alexis a bitch, and Alexis proudly concurs and urges her to learn from her bitchitude.
Sammy Jo is loading up on carbs at the mansion's breakfast buffet spread when Krystle enters the dining room and asks her if she told Steven she wants Danny back. Sammy Jo says yep, so an incredulous Krystle exclaims, "You can't be serious!", then urges her niece to grow up and says if she really cared about the tot, she'd do what's best for him. Sammy Jo insists that she's the best person to raise her son: not her (Krystle), Blake, or his gay son. She then flounces up to the nursery and orders the nanny to get Danny ready for some outdoor playtime.
Kirby is packing her bags when Adam drops by...and Sammy Jo happens to walk by at that moment and starts eavesdropping. When Adam sees all the suitcases, he asks Kirby what in blazes she's doing, so she tells him she's decided to not marry him and is moving to Paris. He asks her if Alexis had anything to do with this, and she says no and insists that she doesn't love him...which, considering he raped her, wouldn't actually be any kind of a stretch. Adam doesn't want to believe it and forcibly hugs and kisses her, so she accuses him of being all rapey again (!) and snaps, "Is that all you want from me?!" Adam looks miffed, says he tried to be decent to her, and accuses her of running back to the Frenchman who treated her like dirt. He then decides that that's what she's been to him all along: dirt. He storms out, and Kirby stares after him looking mournful.
Sammy Jo informs the nanny that she suddenly changed her mind about wanting to take Danny outdoors for some playtime...and the beleaguered nanny rolls her eyes in exasperation.
Jeff drops in on Fallon and gabbles about how much he'd loooove to take her on an African safari for their honeymoon, and she tells him she definitely likes the sound of that. The two then canoodle and coo about how awesome their trip will be, and how much beautiful love they plan to make...then smooch and exchange fervent I love yous.
Adam is broodily working out on a stationary bicycle in the mansion's workout room when Sammy Jo enters wearing a sexy red '80s workout leotard. She asks him if he wants to be alone...and when he says no, she says she'd enjoy his company 'cause she could really use a man's hands for some of her exercises. She demonstrates some of the moves, and - no surprise - he uses the opportunity to get all grab handsy with her again. After clowning around and giggling, the two stare deeply into each other's eyes and start smooching. Steven enters the room at that moment, looks icked out by the disturbing spectacle, and asks Adam to excuse him and Sammy Jo. Steven confronts his ex about the custody papers she just filed through her lawyer, then snarkishly says he's looking forward to telling the judge what kind of woman she really is. Sammy Jo insists she's not an unfit mother and that she wants to raise her son alongside a hetero man. Steven incredulously asks, "Adam..?" then grabs the towel that's draped around her neck and warns her that over his dead body will she or Adam be allowed to raise his precious child.
Dex drops by Blake's office to make him a low ball offer of $10 million for his football team. Blake calls the offer a joke and tells him he well knows that the team is worth five times that much. He dramatically rips up the check, and Dex shoots him a smug stare and stalks out of the room. That was completely pointless, Dex.
Steven and Claudia are lunching at the La Mirage and discussing the tedious custody subplot. Steven says he wants to take the issue to court to get full custody (which he already has), but Claudia warns him if he does that, he could lose Danny forever and insists that shared custody is better than losing the fight altogether...not to mention all the %$#@* screen time that's already been devoted to the custody of little Danny. Steven glances across the room and spots Sammy Jo and Adam enter the dining area and seat themselves at the bar.
Blake is snapping at Avril Dawson over the phone when Krystle enters his office. He abruptly ends the call and tells Krystle that the banks have foreclosed on Denver Carrington, which means he's lost the company he spend twenty-five years building. Krystle nonsensically says, "They can foreclose on a company, but not on a man", then wanks him for being the world's most awesome genius in the field of oil extraction. She urges him to start another company, and Blake grunts something unintelligible and snarlishly vows that one day the very banks that denied him his loan extension will be on their knees, begging him to take out loans. LOL. As Krystle gives him a comforting hug, he suggests they go home to their mansion and kick up their feet in front of the fire, and Krystle says she'll gather her things together and meet him by the elevator. A few minutes later, secretary Marsha buzzes Blake to let him know that a Miss Deveraux is here to see him. He says he doesn't know any Miss Deveraux - but a few seconds later, Dominique storms past Marsha and flounces into Blake's office. It's interesting that TV secretaries are never able to stop determined drop-in visitors from barging their way inside. Dominique continues her annoying riddle-speak and asks Blake if Villa Marini holds any special memories for him, and he tells her he was once there on business...and she adds that he was there doing business with Sheikh Ahmed. She asks him how he could have been taken in by such a shady con man, and Blake assumes she's a reporter and wearily says he's too tired this evening to "fence with a stranger". Dominique chuckles about how everyone in Denver is mistaking her for a reporter, then urges him to look her up. Blake sighs and says he couldn't give even the tiniest of rat's asses who she is or what she wants, then exits his office. Dominique studies the framed photo of Krystle on Blake's desk and says to an empty office, "Won't it just knock their socks off when they find out I'm a Carrington?!" Well, I don't know if socks will be knocked off...but it's possible this news might pique the interest of immediate family members and Carrington sycophants during the first few episodes of Season 5.
Dex drops by the penthouse yet again - and Alexis tells him she can't talk 'cause she's too busy getting ready for Fallon's wedding. Dex reminds her that during the previous episode she told him they were never friends...then starts nattering about the double standard he set up in expecting her to not screw around even if he were screwing around. Which is nonsensical and continuity-challenged, 'cause shortly before her Hong Kong trip, there was an entire scene structured around his declaration of fidelity to her:
Dex arrives with a wrapped gift and tells Alexis he has to fly to L.A. for business later today and would like her to accompany him. Alexis unwraps the gift and coos happily at the violet corsage inside - and Dex schmaltzily suggests she wear it during their L.A. trip. Alexis tells him it's lovely, but that she's too busy to travel with him today...and adds that he'll probably want to be unfettered during the trip so he can hit the sheets with all the hot L.A. women he's sure to rub up against. Dex is all, "Whoa.." and tells her he stopped whoring around ever since the two of them hooked up, pronounces, "I'm old fashioned that way", and cites his deep belief in fidelity. Alexis credits him for being so delightfully old fashioned, but says she's still unable to accompany him on the trip. Dex says, in that case, he'll conduct his business in L.A. as quickly as he can so he can hurry home and be with her...and the two cap off the scene with a yuckily intense smooch.
A delighted Alexis calls him "modern and gallant", and Dex coos about how much he neeeeeds her, calls her "a lot of woman" (LOL), and says that he and his shriveled balls would be honored to be with her on her terms. After a long smooch, she asks him to be her escort for Fallon's wedding. He happily agrees and promises to pick her up at 6pm.
Krystle arrives at the salon spa as Alexis is getting primped in the next booth. The beautician gushes to Alexis about the excitement of Krystle's pregnancy and the whole Carrington mystique, and Alexis chuckles and implies that the baby may not actually be Blake's. Krystle, who's close enough to overhear, is all, "Wha-aaa?", then takes the bowl of mud from her beautician and marches over to the booth next door. She snarks, "So, you like to sling mud, Alexis?" and mashes the mud across her face. Alexis cries, "How dare you!" even though she was likely there for a mud facial anyway.
Fallon is in her room, reclining in front of the fire and listening to the violent thunder storm outside. Steven drops by to tell her that all of the servants are working very hard in preparation for her wedding day...and then the two reminisce about their childhood, blah blah. He tells her he senses that something's wrong, so she tells him she's been having really bad headaches ever since cracking her skull during The Accident episode. She says the headaches don't happen all that frequently, then begs him to keep mum about it since she's sure they'll pass.
The camera then pans across the kitchen, where Krystle is admiring the lavish, four tier wedding cake, and all the rich people caviar snack trays.
A gaggle of loud women are primping Fallon as she stands in front of the mirror in her wedding gown...which, incidentally, looks nothing like the gown she had on during her most recent fitting. Krystle enters the room and gushes about how beautiful she looks, then gives her the same shiny penny that Fallon had given to her on her Wedding Day #2 to Blake. After Krystle leaves to change into her maid of honor gown, the women resume their loud primping...and Fallon gets overwhelmed, suffers a headache, and shrieks, "Stop it!!" They all fall silent and stare at her in shock, and Fallon apologizes and says she'll finish the rest of the primping herself. When she's alone in the room, she stares at herself in the mirror, then has flashbacks of when she rode on the dizzying carousel. Her vision gets blurry, and ominous music starts tinkling in the background as the camera pans across the room in a chaotic, tilted position...and this seems to go on for a loooong time. Fallon rips off her veil and stares at her reflection with torment etched across her face.
The wedding guests have arrived at Carrington manor, and Krystle is circulating among the crowd while decked out in her fantastic purple maid of honor gown. Alexis arrives with Dex, whose presence annoys Blake. He ambles over to him with a WTF? expression, so Dex explains that he was invited by the mother of the bride...and Blake says he can stay for the ceremony, but will be steel-toed once the reception kicks into gear. The Here Comes the Bride music starts up, and everyone stares up at the grand staircase in excited anticipation. When Fallon doesn't appear after several minutes pass, Krystle, Blake, and Jeff rush upstairs to see whassup. They find Fallon's gown and veil strewn across the floor, then hear a honking noise outside...which implies that in the midst of a violent thunder storm, Fallon somehow climbed out the window, then shimmied her way to the ground level and fled to her car. Jeff runs outside to drive after her, and Blake follows him out - but instead of doing anything useful, he stands in his driveway and gets rained on while screeching, "Fallonnnnnn!"
Sergeant Cooper and his sidekick police officer crash the non-wedding and demand to speak to Alexis in private. Dex insists on coming along, so the group heads over to the study. Alexis snarks about how tired she is of being questioned about Mark's death, so Sergeant Cooper informs her that he just learned about a bank account Mark opened shortly before his death, which contains a deposit of 100K...and when they traced the cash, they discovered that it came from a personal check she had written to him. Sergeant Cooper deduces that since Mark was 100K richer than anyone thought, he could not possibly have been suicidal...and that since he was clearly blackmailing Alexis, she must have pushed him over the balcony after an argument. Despite there being zero proof, witnesses, or the general implausibility of a smallish woman like Alexis being able to physically overpower a fit man Mark's size and toss him over the railing of a balcony. As he places her under arrest and orders his sidekick to cuff her, Alexis protests how ridiculous this is, then cries at Dex, "Do something!" so he rushes over to the nearest phone to call a lawyer.
Fallon is speeding through the rain looking tearful and tormented...and Jeff is in close pursuit. And we know that they're both driving very fast 'cause the camera keeps panning over to each of their speedometers. Jeff has to brake to avoid hitting a construction truck, and leaps out of his car and screams, "Fallonnnnnn!" It remains unclear why Fallon continues to haphazardly flee instead of heading straight to the hospital for another CT of her cracked skull.
At the local jail, Alexis is led into a holding cell and endures the indignity of other female inmates whistling and cat-calling her. Alexis tells the officer that her implausible arrest is a terrible mistake, but the officer doesn't care and tells her to make herself comfortable while the judge sets her bail. Alexis grips the bars and screeches, "Let me out of here!!"
Fallon suffers a headache while racing through the rain...and it looks like she's about to have a head-on collision with a large truck. She screams and swerves...and after a flash of light, the camera fades to black.
Farewell, Pamela Sue Martin!
Recap: Krystle is wearing a fancy pink negligee, sipping coffee while she pensively stares out of her bedroom window. Blake enters the room and tells her he's off to go horseback riding with Jeff so he can break the unhappy news about his dismal bank loan situation...and Krystle laments all of the unhappy Dynasty news lately, particularly Mark's supposed suicide. She tells Blake she finds it hard to believe that Porn-'stache would kill himself...and that the last time she saw him, he told her he felt like he was on top of the world, but knew someone who would like to push him off of it. Blake grunts in reply, then stares disinterestedly into space.
As Blake and Jeff trot around the estate on horseback, Blake tells Jeff that the banks have all refused his loan extension request...and that Alexis made him an offer to loan him the cash with the consequence of losing Denver Carrington if he can't pay up. He assures Jeff that he's refusing her offer 'cause he doesn't want to do business with the devil twice (the first time being Rashid Ahmed). Blake tells Jeff he'd like to keep the news from Fallon until after the wedding - but Jeff furrows his caterpillar brows in disapproval and argues that Fallon is a grown woman who can handle bad news, and insists that she has the right to know the truth.
Jeff tiptoes into Fallon's bedroom carrying a tray with orange juice and a single rose. He caresses her face with the rose, then wakes her up with a gentle smooch. She smiles sleepily and tells him she'd like him to wake her up like that every day...and he gets a sheepish look on his face and asks, "Would you like to be married to a pauper?" then tells her about Blake's loan extension conundrum. He says that if Blake loses Denver Carrington, he (Jeff) could lose his share of the company and a huge bundle of cash, but Fallon just shrugs and says she doesn't give a rat's ass how rich or poor he is...and the two start going at it.
Blake and Andrew are in Blake's office, going through boxes of papers to find assets that Blake could sell in order to raise the money he needs to pay off his monster loan. When Blake suggests selling his football team, Andrew suggests he bite the bullet and mortgage his estate, which is worth a fortune 'cause of its extensive grounds and forty-eight room (holy crap!) mansion. Blake mulls that over and reluctantly agrees - but refuses to sell off anything he's given as gifts to Krystle. He then remembers that he owns the rights to an exclusive shale oil extraction process, which would be highly valuable to anyone who holds shale oil leases...like Alexis, for example.
Sammy Jo, who's decked out in a red leather mini-skirt ensemble, is leading a small army of pissed off looking servants who got roped into transporting her luggage to her guest room at Carrington manor...and she's carrying a ghetto-blaster that's blaring a muzaked version of Michael Jackson's Thriller. I wonder if that's cheaper than paying for the license to play the actual song. When she enters her room, she flops onto the bed and lets out a weary sigh. Krystle pops by to say hey, and Sammy Jo complains about how there aren't any flowers in the room to welcome her, and Krystle counters by pointing out that it's customary for guests to give their hosts flowers as a thank you for letting them live in their mansion and sponge off of them indefinitely. She then warns Sammy Jo to not cause any friction during her stay, and Sammy Jo faux sweetly promises to not spoil a minute of her life.
Sammy Jo changes into a bright pink workout leotard and slides down the banister of the grand staircase. When her stunt double reaches the bottom, she tumbles onto the floor, and is helped to her feet by Adam...who's wearing nothing but short shorts. Yeesh. He introduces himself and gets all grab handsy with her...and she grins at him flirtily and says she likes the idea of having a friend in this big house, then announces that she's off to the gym. Adam stares after her, admiring her slender, leotard clad form.
Alexis is standing on her balcony, staring contemplatively into space. Dex drops by unannounced and says he took it upon himself to come over 'cause he figured she wouldn't want to be alone so soon after Mark's splatting. Alexis snaps back that she has three (four?) children she could call upon if she required any comforting...and Dex ignores her snarkitude and tells her he remembers seeing Mark in Hong Kong and that he seemed very happy with himself. He asks her if she and Mark had some kind of scheme going, and Alexis wearily denies it, then says she's too tired to spar with him and would prefer to be alone. Dex gently caresses her face and tells her that even though they're no longer doinking they can still be friends, but Alexis bitchily asks how they can be something they never were in the first place. Dex clenches his jaw and gruffly replies, "Good luck, Alexis" and makes a break for the elevator.
Alexis is chain smoking in her office when Tracy flounces in and offers some faux words of sympathy about Mark's death. Alexis cuts her off and asks her how things are going with Avril Dawson, and Tracy admits she hasn't made much progress on tapping that. Alexis shoots her the stink-eye and asks her what she thinks she's being paid for...and Tracy looks hopeful as she replies, "To do the best job possible?" Heh. Alexis snipes that clearly she's not trying hard enough, so Tracy snappishly says she didn't exactly sign up to be the company whore, then adds, "That's what I also told to..." before her voice trails off. When Alexis snippily asks, "To whom?" Tracy comes right out and says Dex...then tells Alexis that if she wants secret intel from Avril Dawson she should sleep with him herself, since rumor has it it's one of her specialties. Hee! Alexis coldly asks Tracy when she and Dex had this conversation, so Tracy gleefully says it happened while they were nakedly frolicking together in a magnificent bed in his Hong Kong hotel room...then decides to spill the beans altogether about how she and Dex conspired together to get her hired at ColbyCo, mostly so she could spy for Dex. She then preempts an abrupt firing by announcing that she's quitting this shitty job, and that she and stupid Dex - who's clearly still hung up on her - deserve each other. As Tracy storms out, never to be seen again on Dynasty, Alexis continues to puff on her cigarette while staring stonily into space.
A mysterious, well dressed woman decked out in a fur coat with lots of luggage in tow, arrives at the La Mirage and checks in. She's miffed when the clerk tells her she'll be in a junior suite and haughtily tells him she had reserved a two bedroom suite - one for her wardrobe, and one for her ('cause apparently they can't co-exist in the same room) - and if he can't accommodate her, he'll need to call another hotel who can. Fallon happens to walk by at that moment, so she introduces herself as the hotel's owner, and assures her that a two bedroom suite won't be a problem. The mysterious woman says she recognizes her name, and adds that she recently read an article about the Carringtons in an English magazine. She wanks Fallon by calling her "a lovely young woman" and tells her she's heard so much about her famous parents. Fallon's like, "Er, OK", benevolently wishes her a pleasant stay at the La Mirage, then ambles off. The mysterious woman stares after her and defiantly mutters, "I plan to have a memorable stay."
Sammy Jo is at the Carrington stables dressed in a flimsy jacket and short shorts - and I'm no horse expert, but is it wise to go horseback riding in short shorts?? She tells Tony she'd like to ride Snowflake...and as Tony dutifully heads off to saddle her up, Sammy Jo hears Adam and Kirby bickering just outside the stable, so she peeks around the stable door to eavesdrop. Adam tells Kirby he has to go to Las Vegas for a business meeting and proposes that she come along so they can have a quickie wedding afterwards. Kirby snarls, "That's a rotten idea" and reminds him that she married Jeff in a quickie Reno wedding, and that the marriage turned out to be a disaster. Adam points out that she married Jeff out of desperation when Fallon was temporarily off the market...then says he's getting exasperated that every time he tries to make plans for their future, she rebuffs the ideas as if they're repulsive to her. Which they may well be, not least 'cause he's a creepy stalker who raped her in Season 3. He says he wonders if this marriage is ever going to happen, and she snaps, "I've been wondering that too" and climbs into her car and drives off. Sammy Jo smiles gleefully, then tells Tony something has come up, and that she won't be riding Snowflake after all.
Alexis summons Steven to her office to tell him he needs to fly to New York pronto to handle some ColbyCo-related problem - but Steven points out that there's also problems brewing in Denver, namely that he can't get Dex to work with him or even answer his phone calls. Alexis promises to handle it, then tells him that since the corporate jet is out of commission, he's going to have to fly commercial. Egads!
Krystle asks Sammy Jo what time her flight back to New York is, and Sammy Jo pretends that the ad campaign she's [not] modelling in got postponed...which means she's going to stick around Denver for a little awhile. Krystle looks aghast at the prospect and asks, "How long is 'a little while'?" and Sammy Jo snarkishly says if she's not welcome at Carrington manor, she can always pack up Danny and take him to La Mirage. Krystle hastily says that that won't be necessary and that she's welcome to stay...and after she exits the room, Sammy Jo plays a muzaked version of Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want to Have Fun on her ghetto-blaster and murmurs the lyrics. LOL.
Fallon finds the mysterious woman from the other day in the La Mirage dining room, eating breakfast. They chat about Colorado, blah blah...until the mysterious woman starts gabbling about Alexis being the richest woman in Denver, possibly in the country. When she starts digging for more intel on Alexis, an irked Fallon asks her if she's a society columnist looking for a story, and the mysterious woman chuckles and calls that amusing. Fallon warns her that Alexis is a tough old broad who doesn't tolerate being messed with, then excuses herself from the table.
Andrew tells Blake he was able to sell his horse Allegre...and when Blake bitchily reminds him that he gave Allegre to Krystle as a wedding gift, Andrew informs him that it was Krystle who ordered him to sell the animal. He tells Blake that word is out that he's short of cash, and urges him to make a move. Blake lets out a weary sigh, then buzzes his secretary and asks her to set up an appointment with Alexis asap.
Sammy Jo barks at the nanny to dress Danny so she can take him outside to play, and the nanny tells her that Mrs. Carrington (meaning Claudia, I'll assume) told her to keep him inside 'cause he's on the verge of catching a cold. Sammy Jo retorts that she's Danny's real mother and will be the one to make decisions for her son...and Claudia enters the nursery at that moment and tells Sammy Jo she'd appreciate it if she kept Danny inside 'cause she doesn't want the tot to get sick. Sammy Jo says he seems perfectly healthy whenever he's with her, probably 'cause he knows she's his mother (??) then insists on taking him outside to play. A furious Claudia makes a beeline to the nearest phone to call Steven in New York.
Alexis is in her office, decked out in a furry hat and blazer with matching fur on the sleeves (weird, considering the episode aired in May), reading the edition of World Finance that has Blake on the cover. When he enters her office for their scheduled appointment, she smugly assumes that he reconsidered her offer - but Blake says he's still turning down that offer, but has something he'd like to sell her: the coveted shale oil extraction process. Alexis grins and slyly asks, "Why would I bother with that?" so he points out that she has a vast number of shale oil leases that are currently unproductive and useless. She chortles, calls him "misguided and out of touch", then offers him $0. When he accuses her of bluffing, she reminds him that pre-Dynasty, he threw her out of his house and exiled her from her children...then says she likes that he's now at her mercy. She predicts that he'll be back soon enough to accept her first offer, then says that she has another appointment, and gets up to sashay towards the door.
In New York, Steven runs into his [I can only assume openly gay] friend from college, Owen Brancroft, who says he's trying to make it on Broadway. He extends his sympathies for Ted Dinard's Season 1 manslaughtering, then says they should get together for dinner some time. Steven accepts his invitation, then meets up with Ed Linden (Sammy Jo's portly, bespectacled sugar daddy from The Check episode, ew) and asks him when the ad campaign will be getting underway 'cause he'd like to have an idea when Sammy Jo will be leaving Denver. Ed tells him that the campaign was cancelled, and that he and Sammy Jo had a big fight - conveniently leaving out the part about how he backhanded her across the face - and complains that she left with the rent to her apartment unpaid. Which is weird, 'cause I figured that as her portly, bespectacled sugar daddy, he would have been covering those expenses. Steven stares back at him, horrified that he's now stuck under the same roof as his skanky ex-wife-beard.
Alexis returns home and is startled when she finds Sergeant Cooper and another police officer poking around her penthouse, looking for clues regarding Mark's demise. Sergeant Cooper asks Alexis to recount everything she remembers from that night, so she tells him that when she and Mark last spoke he was drunk, and then she got dressed and left the penthouse...which is kind of a glossed over version of events, but OK. Sergeant Cooper says he recently learned that she had visited Mark in his hotel room when he lived at La Mirage, then asks her why she failed to disclose that to him...so she says it happened so long ago that she didn't think it would have any bearing on the investigation. When Sergeant Cooper presses her to explain why she had visited Mark at the La Mirage, she brusquely says that their unholy coupling was personal and short lived.
Fallon is being fitted for her wedding gown while Krystle looks on...and the shop just happens to be next door to where construction men are drilling. Several minutes after they stop drilling, Fallon suddenly gets a headache and complains about the noise...and Krystle looks confused by her head pain. Fallon breezily says she's just tired, and that she'll continue with the fitting tomorrow.
Adam sees Sammy Jo trying to feed an uncooperative Danny, and looks charmed as the two lock eyes and smile at each other. Blech. He then goes upstairs and attempts to converse with Kirby, but she tells him to go away 'cause she's about to jump into the shower. When the camera pans inside the room, we see that Kirby is sitting on her bed, fondling her handgun.
As Blake and Fallon play pool, Blake says he heard that she wasn't feeling well earlier. She tells him she sometimes thinks she hears things - then suddenly gets a headache and conflates her head pain with her concern that marrying Jeff will be a huge mistake. She says she hurt him so much during marriage #1 and doesn't want to do that again, and Blake assures her that she won't, her being such a wonderful girl and all.
Sammy Jo is wrapped in a skimpy towel when Steven stops by her room for an unpleasant one-on-one. He flinches at her near nakedness - but then remembers that the writers have implied that he's into more of a non-hetero vibe this episode, so he throws a robe at Sammy Jo, orders her to cover herself, and calls her out for lying about being a model in the ad campaign. Sammy Jo admits to lying, then pretends she suddenly realized how much she loves Danny and has decided she wants to be a full time mother. Steven scrunches his face confusedly and is all, "Wha-at?", so Sammy Jo spells out that she wants Danny to be raised by his bio mom.
Alexis summons the mysterious woman from La Mirage to her penthouse to snippily tell her that she doesn't like people asking questions about her behind her back. When she assumes she's a journalist, the mysterious woman imperiously points out that she's too well dressed and bejeweled to be a mere journalist...and Alexis rolls her eyes and wryly retorts, "Anything can be rented these days." The mysterious woman touts herself as a very intelligent person, and that she wanted to check out in the flesh what she's heard so much about. She then lists all the personal tidbits she's gathered about Alexis Morell Carrington Colby: she's one of earth's most stunning beauties, she lives in a showplace penthouse, gets seasick on smallish yachts, was expelled from boarding school, and worked as a model in Europe. She adds that Alexis is vulnerable when it comes to her children, but ruthless with her enemies (of which there are many). The mysterious woman suddenly complains about the lackluster champagne she's just been served, and Alexis snarkishly warns her to tread carefully with her insults. She asks her who the hell she is, and the mysterious woman says she'll find out soon enough (ugh, not 'til Season 5), then gets up and strides over to the elevator. She says she enjoyed herself during this pointless one-on-one, chirps, "Ciao for now!" and steps onto the elevator, leaving a mystified Alexis staring after her.
Recap: Krystle is dressed in a skimpy '80s style workout leotard - a clothing choice that seems purely gratuitous on the part of the writers/wardrobe people - when she enters the study where a worried looking Blake is reading over some documents. She shows him the latest edition of World Finance , which features his ugly mug on the cover, and warns him about the "ugly story" that Gordon Wales penned about him. Blake says he's not at all surprised and expected Wales to do "a hatchet job" on him, then tells Krystle he's far more concerned about his meeting with banker Avril Dawson, who he's going to beg to extend his $100 million bank loan. The good news: if Avril agrees to extend the loan, the other banks will likely follow suit. The bad news: if Avril doesn't, Blake's finances will be in the toilet. Krystle stares worriedly at Blake as he stares worriedly into space.
Alexis sweeps into her living room, and Mark wishes her good morning and announces that he's off to play tennis with Dex at the La Mirage. He invites her to tag along and watch their match...and when she says she couldn't possibly be less interested in doing that, he snidely jokes about how she'd much rather spend her time hatching nefarious plots, like whatever unholy acts she was committing with Rashid Ahmed in Hong Kong. He asks why she's so determined to ruin Blake, and she snippily reminds him that she gave him 100K during the previous episode to keep his mouth shut and suggests he start shutting it. After he slinks out, Alexis gets a call from Kirby to set up another private one-on-one, but Alexis says they have nothing more to say to each other and abruptly hangs up on the dimwit.
Alexis summons Adam to her office to complain about Kirby's weirdness during The Check episode, specifically that she needlessly drove the two of them to her family's bungalow to privately chat about the Paris job offer, but instead spent the entire time rambling about her dead father. She deduces that Kirby is as unbalanced as her nutty mother was - and Adam gets irked and accuses Alexis of being responsible for whatever mental trauma Kirby is enduring. Plus, he's less than thrilled to learn that she's been scheming behind his back to entice his [rape victim] fiancee to move to Paris. Alexis implores him to dump the unstable middle-class loser, but Adam snaps at her to stay out of their lives.
At La Mirage, Mark congratulates Fallon on her upcoming wedding and calls her future with Jeff destiny. He adds that he once thought they were destined to end up together - before Alexis ickily poisoned their relationship by getting naked and then leaping into his bed to make it look like she was hitting the sheets with him. Fallon shrugs at the disturbing memory and says that Alexis probably did them a favor since clearly there was no future for them, then spacily wanders off.
Blake and Jeff arrive at the bank to meet with banker Avril Dawson. The three schmooze it up for a few minutes before Blake comes right out and asks whassup with the extension of his loan. Avril says he can't approve an extension without consulting with the other banks, the loan being a whopping $100 million and all. Blake reminds him that his bank has made a lot of money with Denver-Carrington over the years, and Avril concurs but says it's complicated 'cause of how political the situation has gotten. He then holds up the issue of World Finance with Blake on the cover and says, "This says you can't do it" ... it meaning oil exploration in the South China Sea. Blake irritably reminds him that he's paid back every loan he's ever had - but Avril stands firm and insists on talking to the heads of the other banks before making his decision.
Krystle wanks Blake by reminding him he's always been able to turn things around to his advantage and win in the end - but Blake says he's very worried that this time will be different, particularly if all the banks turn down his request for an extension 'cause it means he could lose everything. Krystle reminisces about what he told her when he first proposed: if she didn't want to be married to a rich man, he'd give all his money away...but then find some way to make it back. Which is silly logic, 'cause then she'd still end up being married to a rich man - not that 'Bankrupt Blake' would likely be any less insufferable than 'Wealthy Blake'. Krystle smilingly says, "That's the kind of man you are. You're wiser and stronger than ever...a winner" then gives him a comforting hug. Blech. I find canoodly scenes between these two hard to stomach.
Alexis drops in on Jeff to tell him how thrilled she is about the wedding, and to gush about how nice it is to have something to celebrate amid Blake's money problems. She says it'd be a shame for Blake to drag him down and regrets that he's no longer at ColbyCo - but Jeff insists that he has a lot of faith in Blake, then politely tells his future mother-in-law to skedaddle 'cause he's off to meet up with his bride-to-be.
Steven is poring over a giant map when Dex enters his office to gripe about having to deal with him (instead of Alexis) regarding all matters related to the Lex-Dex Corporation. He snarks that he's partners with Alexis, not her sour-tempered momma's boy - and Steven counter-snarks that he needs to deal with the fact that he got dumped. When Dex grabs him and gets all in his face while glaring at him all scowly-like, Steven tells him to take his grievances directly to Alexis.
Alexis (who's wearing a cute little hat-veil!) finds Dex waiting for her in her office, and he tells her he wants to hear it from her personally if she's no longer running the Lex part of Lex-Dex. She breezily says they no longer fit together, but he disagrees and somehow still thinks they have something special between them. Alexis offers to buy him out of the corporation, which prompts Dex to chide her for throwing away their icktastic May-December relationship. He moans, "We had it all", calls her the most exciting woman he's ever known, and adds that he's pretty sure he's the best man she's ever had the privilege of getting boned by. He plants a big smooch on her lips...and at first Alexis resists, but then goes limp and looks all into it. When she pulls away, she concedes, "You have a way with lips" but stands firm about it being the wrong time and the wrong place...then tut tuts him for calling her a slut when he caught her in mid-doink with Rashid Ahmed in Hong Kong. She admonishes him for aggressively kissing her just now, then haughtily declares, "Nobody owns me, Dex. My mind and my body belong to me alone." She snidely adds that if he wants ownership he should buy it on the street where he belongs, which...ouch. She then tells him to get the hell out of her office, and he despondently slinks out with his balls visibly shrinking between his legs.
Sammy Jo arrives at Carrington manor carrying a stuffed toy for Danny, walks past several servants who make a half-hearted effort to stop her, and heads upstairs to the nursery. She snarks at the baby nurse to take a hike and says she wants to visit Danny alone...then snarks at Krystle when she enters the nursery to see what all the commotion is about. Krystle reprimands her for not calling before her impromptu pop-in, but Sammy Jo says she's not planning to stay long and just wanted to spend some quality time with her bio tot. As Krystle exits the room looking pensively concerned, Sammy Jo stares after her with a smug expression on her face.
Steven arrives at La Mirage and sees Sammy Jo checking in with a small mountain of luggage. He ambles over and says, "I heard you were here", and Sammy Jo boasts that now that she's a successful model, she can afford to pay $400 a night to stay at this ritzy hotel. She then decrees that Danny will be delivered to her at the La Mirage so that she can spend the weekend with him for a real mother-son visit, then snarks that he and Claudia are going to have to get used to the idea of having her around now that she's going to be making more semi-regular appearances on Dynasty.
Claudia tells Steven she's aghast at the idea of him handing Danny over to an irresponsible floozy like Sammy Jo, not least 'cause there's no decent security at the La Mirage. Steven says he can't keep Sammy Jo from seeing her son 'cause she has visiting privileges - but adds that he didn't expect her to ever return to Denver. Claudia suggests hiring security guards to watch over Danny while he's at the hotel, and Steven laments that he senses disaster with Sammy Jo's mother-son weekend.
Over at ColbyCo, Alexis tells Tracy that she did some checking into her slutty past and was pleasantly surprised to see how many sack-related connections she's fostered with rich, influential men. She tells her she'd like her to use her seductive charms on a banker named Avril Dawson 'cause she's pretty sure he has some useful intel she'd like to get her hands on...and wants Tracy to get on the sleazy assignment asap.
Krystle lunches with Sammy Jo at La Mirage and tells her that her sudden reappearance on Dynasty caught everyone by surprise...then assures her that she has every right to see Danny. She invites her to spend the weekend at the mansion 'cause the tot barely knows her and would prolly fare better in a familiar environment. Sammy Jo promises to think it over, then starts chowing down on her thick, juicy burger.
Avril Dawson calls Blake with not so good news: all the banks (including his) are turning down his request for a loan extension. As Blake stares despondently into space, Krystle gives him a canoodly assurance that he'll somehow find a way to fight back and win. Blake promises to do his damnedest, then pivots to a pleasanter topic and says he's really looking forward to Fallon's and Jeff's wedding.
The Carrington clan arrives at La Mirage for Fallon's and Jeff's engagement party...and when Sammy Jo spots them across the lobby, she looks less than thrilled. She walks over to Fallon and demands to know where her invitation is, then haughtily says, "As a Carrington, I should be at the top of the list." Fallon reminds her she's a skanky ex-Carrington and as such isn't even at the bottom of her list, then tells her to get lost. Sammy Jo retorts by lodging a complaint about the hotel - inadequate number of towels, dust everywhere - and Fallon tells her if she doesn't like her accommodations she can always get the hell out. As Fallon sashays to the dining room, a miffed Sammy Jo orders champagne and a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. She's damn lucky to be able to pack in so many carbs and stay so slim, that Sammy Jo.
When Alexis returns to the penthouse to get gussied up for the party, a drunk Mark tells her he was planning to leave Denver an episode ago - but changed his mind and would like to continue his aimless, soulless life as her not-quite-gigolo bodyguard. Alexis snippily tells him she no longer needs a bodyguard...and Mark schmaltzily retorts, "But you do need a man" and decrees that from now on, they're going to share everything, including her bed. After forcibly smooching her for a few seconds, she shoves him away, calls him delusional, and orders him to leave Denver tonight. Mark chortles drunkenly and says she'll never be rid of him, to which Alexis snaps, "Watch me." She then heads upstairs to change while Mark staggers over to the balcony to continue drinking and enjoy the night air. He stares down at the traffic below and chortles to himself.
Alexis is about to enter her limo when her driver tells her there's been an accident around the corner. Alexis says she doesn't give a rat's ass 'cause she has an engagement party to get to - but then is delayed further when disgraced ex-congressman Neil McVane appears out of nowhere and tells Alexis he needs to have an urgent chat with her about money. Say wuh? She tells him they don't need to chat, then rolls up her window and orders her driver to hit the gas.
The engagement party at La Mirage is in full swing, and Blake remarks to Krystle that he enjoys seeing his children all together, celebrating happily. Alexis sweeps into the room wearing a glittery black gown...and when Kirby shoots her the stink-eye, Adam pleads with her to call a truce.
Tracy and Dex are enjoying more sexy sack time, and Tracy gigglingly wonders what Alexis would think if she knew they were regularly hitting the sheets. She tells him that Alexis had ordered her to go to bed with some banker named Avril Dawson tonight - but instead she chose to bed him. She then contorts her face into a pouty expression and says she hates that he once doinked Alexis, and no longer wants to work for the demanding bossy boots. When Dex insists that he needs her insider intel at ColbyCo, she accuses him of being obsessed with Alexis. Dex gets irked and hurriedly puts his clothes on, and says to give him a call once she calms down. He then orders her to do her duty to ColbyCo and meet with Avril Dawson tonight.
Krystle is freshening up in the La Mirage bathroom when Alexis enters and seats herself next to her. Alexis tells Krystle she's surprised to see her here considering her pregnancy...and Krystle's like, "Speaking of Blake's spawns" and says that Blake doesn't remember her having four children or a miscarriage...as she recently claimed. Alexis breezily replies that Blake doesn't remember anything that doesn't have a dollar sign attached to it. Smooth way to lay the groundwork for the grand entrance of long-lost Amanda in Season 5, writers.
Blake slips into Fallon's office to call Andrew...and Alexis follows him to smugly inform him that rumors are starting to circulate about his loan extension request being turned down by every bank. She offers to give him the $100 million he needs under the condition he pays her back within six months...and if he's unable to do so, Denver-Carrington becomes hers. Blake gives her a hard no on that offer...and she poutishly warns him that he could lose everything. A few seconds later, a Sergeant Cooper enters the office to inform Alexis that Mark Jennings was found dead after falling from the balcony of her penthouse. Awww...poor Porn-'stache. The police are investigating whether the splatted man jumped or was pushed...and Alexis dramatically clutches her chest and stares worriedly into space.
Recap: Mark is in the penthouse, giggling and clowning around with a blonde woman he just hit the sheets with. She reminds him he promised to show her the spectacular view from the terrace...but when Mark suddenly spots the elevator button light up, he hustles her out the back exit, slapping her ass in the process. He then grabs the half empty bottle of champagne and two glasses and sneaks onto the terrace just as Alexis and Blake enter the penthouse after attending a party. Blake accuses Alexis of being in cahoots with Ahmed when he wrongly outed him as an arms deal broker...and Alexis vehemently denies the accusation - with a lot of dramatic head shakes, LOL - and chides him for always accusing her of stuff [she's actually done, but for which there's no smoking gun]. Mark sips on champagne as he gleefully soaks up the rancorous exchange...and eventually Blake gives up on the conversation and storms out.
Tracy is showering in her bathroom when a grim-faced Dex enters the room and joins her. She massages his shoulders, remarks on how tense he is, and asks him if he's still preoccupied with thoughts of Alexis. He sulks about being ignored by her at tonight's party, then poutishly adds, "No one turns their back on me and gets away with it!" He tells Tracy he wants to know every move she makes, then barks, "Understand?" and Tracy soaps his back and says when they're enjoying their sexy time, she would prefer he be mentally present with her, not whining like a scorned little bitch about getting snubbed by Alexis. He woodenly nods, and the two start going at it under the shower head.
Over at Casa Carrington, Fallon updates Kirby about the Uncorroborated Statements by Ahmed Situation, then breezily assures her that everything's going to be A-OK. Kirby asks her why she's so upbeat, then says it must be 'cause Jeff proposed. Fallon confirms that they've decided to give marriage another go, and Kirby congratulates her and pretends that by hooking up with her creepy rapist after divorcing Jeff, things have worked out perfectly for both of them.
Kirby flees to her bedroom to stare at her new gun...and when Adam comes knocking, she swiftly hides it in her underwear drawer. He informs her that he and Blake will be jetting off to the Far East in the morning, and that while he's gone she should plan their wedding and future with numerous spawn. Ew. Kirby mumbles something unintelligible, and the two start smooching and tumble onto the bed together.
Downstairs in the kitchen, Blake tells Krystle he feels bad for putting her through the terrible ordeal with the press, then grumbles about how Ahmed plays by a different set of rules. He says he's confident that the evidence is on his side, what with the signed contracts and whatnot, and insists that there was no arms deal.
Over at the penthouse, a drunken Mark bellows at Alexis to come downstairs...and when she appears at the top landing of the staircase, visibly irritated, he calls her a "world class liar" and demands a hefty payoff. He explains that he knows first hand she was doinking Ahmed in Hong Kong, and also that he overheard her offer Ahmed $5 million to kill the South China Sea deal with Blake. He reminds her that Blake isn't a typical enemy and taunts her by wondering aloud what he'd do if he knew for certain that she was behind this nefarious scheme. Alexis snappishly asks him how much his silence is going to cost her, and he just smiles in response. 100K, as it turns out.
Blake and Adam are aboard the private jet, en route to Asia...and Blake picks up the phone and barks at whoever he's talking to that he wants Rashid Ahmed tracked down asap. Adam gushes about how restrained he is for not immediately going for Alexis' throat, and Blake says he's not entirely sure she's involved in this, and has learned how important it is to be absolutely certain that he's directing his rage at the right target. He then says that Ahmed has plenty of reasons to hate him, and that he's determined to get himself out of this contrived mess that the world press has somehow swallowed: hook, line, and sinker.
Steven calls Claudia to tell her she needs to give a deposition about the recorded Matthew calls and flower deliveries so that the police can charge Morgan Hess with harassment (or whatever actual crime he's accused of) ... and Claudia is reluctant, but agrees. She then heads downstairs to the dining room, where Kirby is picking at a light breakfast of fruit. Claudia suggests they join forces and plan a surprise wedding shower for Fallon...and when Kirby makes an ew face and asks what they could possibly give a Carrington brat who's never been deprived of anything in her life, Claudia looks at her condescendingly and says, "How about love?" Kirby makes it clear she's not at all into the idea and says that since she no longer has status as a Carrington wife, she's going to say hell no to co-planning a bridal shower for her ex-husband's future wife.
Krystle is meeting with Gordon Wales from World Finance, who irritably says he got the wrong half of the story when he interviewed Blake during The Voice, Part 3 episode and declares the interview useless in terms of publishing. Krystle insists that Blake did not broker any kind of arms deal with Ahmed and snarkishly accuses him of looking to do a hatchet job. Gordon shrugs and says he's writing the article, with or without input from anyone at Denver Carrington, and warns that Blake's shenanigans are going to be this month's World Finance cover story...despite zero proof of them whatsoever. Egads!
Mark is admiring the 100K check Alexis made out to him when disgraced ex-congressman Neil McVane sneaks into the penthouse from the back door. For such a fancy building, it sure has shitty security. He snarkishly reminds Mark that they had an agreement to share any spoils that came along with blackmailing Alexis...and Mark discreetly slips his 100K check in his pocket and is all, "Uh huh.." He then tells McVane he should leave before Alexis catches him inside her penthouse...and to meet at an external location if there's ever a reason for them to talk.
McVane follows Mark to the bank and stares incredulously into space as Mark deposits his 100K check.
Steven drops by Alexis' office to sheepishly tell her that he finally found his study on the South China Sea project, the one he kept bitching at Adam for stealing, and says it had been misfiled. Boring mystery solved. Alexis is like, "Whatever, I don't give a shit" and informs him that now that she's no longer doinking Dex, he (Steven) is officially in charge of the day-to-day running of the Lex-Dex corporation. After he mopishly accepts the promotion and lumbers out of the office, Alexis gets a call from Kirby, who asks if the Paris job offer is still on the table. When Alexis says it is, Kirby says she'll swing by her penthouse in the morning and drive them to a secret location so they can chat in private. She then pulls her gun out of her underwear drawer and slips it into her purse.
Blake and Adam have arrived in Hong Kong and meet with a law enforcement official (I'll assume) who seems far too eager to do Blake's bidding. He tells Blake that Rashid Ahmed was last seen at an airfield bribing pilots into flying him out of the country. Blake grunts in response, then orders him to track down the government officials Ahmed was representing during the negotiations.
The next morning, Kirby drives Alexis to her father's bungalow, and an irritated Alexis asks what in blazes they're doing in this shitty part of town. Kirby proudly says she was born in this house, then starts nattering about Joseph and his loneliness (which he once tried to squelch by maintaining a scrapbook that documented Alexis' scandals) ... and Alexis shoots her a bewildered WTF? look and says she'd like to get down to business and discuss the Paris job offer. When Kirby ignores her and continues to natter nonsensically about Joseph, Alexis throws in the towel on the conversation and heads toward the door. An enraged Kirby opens her purse and fumbles around for her gun - but her murder attempt is thwarted when the neighborhood watchman appears at the front door. He asks Alexis if she's here to look at the house as a potential buyer, and Alexis chuckles at the notion of not living in pampered luxury in this middle class neighborhood, then asks him to please call her a taxi so she can get back to the right side of the tracks, pronto.
When Alexis returns to her office, she finds Tracy Kendall waiting for on the sofa, ready to pitch herself as ColbyCo's newest, superfluous PR person. She pretends it was a mutual decision for her position at Denver Carrington to be abruptly terminated and tells Alexis that she has the inside scoop on the inner workings of the company and had had all kinds of access to confidential information. Alexis asks her how she can be sure she won't one day sell her out, and Tracy says it's definitely possible and that, as Alexis once declared, life holds no guarantees. Alexis decides ah, what the hell and hires Tracy, who then makes a beeline to the nearest pay phone to excitedly inform Dex about her new job.
A group of Asian men who represent the unnamed government that was represented by Ahmed during the South China Sea negotiations drop by Blake's Hong Kong hotel suite to discuss the Uncorroborated Statements by Ahmed Situation. They inform Blake that they had no idea Ahmed would accuse him of investing the $100 million for arms purchases...but when Blake implores them to make a public statement to that effect in, the group's leader (Mr. Lin) says that silence is a much more effective weapon - LOL - and that he doesn't want to inflame a dangerous situation. Blake stares at him incredulously and demands to have his $100 million back - but Mr. Lin refuses and says his government has already allocated the cash to various projects throughout his unnamed country. Haha!
A drunken Mark drops by Krystle's office to schmaltzily tell her she's looking more beautiful than ever, and to announce that he's leaving Dynasty on account of his character having long outlived its usefulness back in Season 3. Krystle wishes him well, and the two share a chaste goodbye hug.
Back at Carrington manor, Jeff and Fallon joke about becoming paupers if the Uncorroborated Statements by Ahmed Situation doesn't get remedied quick. She says it's prolly not a good idea to plan a large wedding with Blake's finances so close to collapsing, but Jeff argues that she deserves the wedding of her dreams...and the two start smooching.
Fallon lunches with Alexis at La Mirage, and says that Ahmed's double-crossing of Blake may have had something to do with Blake blaming Rashid's brother Faruq for Baby Blake's kidnapping in Season 3. Fallon implores her mother to ask Rashid to rescind his false statements about Blake's $100 million, but Alexis poutishly says she has no influence over Rashid, then changes the subject to Fallon's engagement party and wedding. She offers to pay for both now that Blake has suddenly found himself on the verge of bankruptcy.
Sammy Jo makes a reappearance (yay!) and sexily greets her portly, bespectacled sugar daddy when he drops by her apartment. She clutches a glittery black dress and proudly calls herself "New York's famous new model" and thanks him for keeping his promise to launch her modeling career. Sugarpops winces and is like, "Uh, about that.." and tells her that the cosmetics board recently convened and decided to cancel the campaign for which she was to get an exclusive contract. She freaks out, accuses him of not fighting hard enough for her, and threatens to tell his wife about their icky extramarital arrangement. She then steps aside as her stunt double is inserted into the scene to absorb several nasty looking backhands across the face from Sugarpops. He calls her "a little whore", tells her she's way out of her league, and warns her to keep her mouth shut.
Sammy Jo calls Steven as he and his wife-beard are getting ready for bed. She asks him how Danny is doing, fibs about landing a fabulous modeling contract, and promises to keep in touch. After the call, Steven tells Claudia what Sammy Jo said...and Claudia wonders aloud why his skanky ex-wife would suddenly want to be in touch after all this time. My best guess is that she finally got some time off from filming T.J. Hooker.
Blake tells Fallon he's pretty sure he'll get his $100 million back and therefore insists on paying for an extravagant wedding. Fallon apologizes for ever doubting him, then excitedly heads upstairs to work on her guest list. Blake gets all schmaltzy with Krystle, who chides him for treating her like a child and not being straight with her about the situation with his finances. He stares pensively into space for a few seconds, then admits that, yep, time is running out...and if his creditors were to call in the $100 million loan, he'd definitely lose Denver Carrington. Krystle stares at him worriedly and leans against him in a comforting cuddle. Ew.
Recap: Krystle sweeps down the main staircase in a silky blue negligee/robe ensemble and into the dining room, where Fallon is finishing up her breakfast. The two briefly chat about Little Blake's second birthday party, a momentous occasion that will take place on the Carrington estate this afternoon. Fallon then heads over to the nearest phone to call her doctor to make an appointment to get her head checked asap.
Jeff bursts into Blake's office to tell him he needs help handling the many calls he's been getting regarding the South China Sea leases 'cause apparently every oil company is super excited by the potential of drilling in the Far East and wants in. A gleeful Blake says he's not quite ready to do any deal-making yet, then announces that he's off to San Francisco to look over his latest over-the-top, superfluous purchase: a survey ship outfitted with deep sea sonar equipment. A few seconds later, Adam enters the office clutching a geological map of the South China Sea and tells Blake he has suggestions regarding where they should start drilling. Blake happily chirps, "Let's just do it!" and Adam excitedly replies that it's soooo heady being part of something so UGE.
Krystle flounces into her PR office and finds Tracy in the process of returning various reports that she had borrowed for the Hong Kong press conference. Krystle snarks that she got what she deserved when Blake fired her after ickily trying to seduce him, and Tracy counter-snarks that she was merely following in her (Krystle's) footsteps: stroking her goat daddy of a boss's ego in the hopes that one day she'll become his trophy wife and live a life of extravagant leisure. Krystle reacts by smacking her hard in the face (!) and haughtily snaps, "The game is over!" - but Tracy argues that the game isn't over so much as it's on a time out.
Fallon is at the doctor's having her eyes examined. The doctor tells her that her reflexes are normal and suggests that her chronic headaches are the result of tension. When Fallon argues that she hasn't been tense lately, he agrees to schedule a brain scan.
Blake arrives at the private airstrip to depart for San Francisco and, by scripted coincidence, spots Alexis returning from Hong Kong. He ambles over to say hello and politely asks how her trip to the Far East went. She tells him it was faaaaaabulous, and flashes the large diamond ring she's wearing and breezily adds that she bought many lovely things while on her exotic "shopping spree". She tells him she happened to catch his press conference with Rashid Ahmed - aka the secret lover she definitely didn't hit the sheets with while in Hong Kong - and Blake thanks her for introducing them and wryly says he's pretty much willing to do business with any low-life douchebag if it'll provide him with access to vast amounts of oil. He dickishly taunts her about how Denver Carrington will soon be the number one oil company in the universe, then saunters off to board his plane. Mark makes a smirkish remark to Alexis about the way she fibbed just now about not being in contact with Rashid Ahmed during her trip, and she chides him for eavesdropping and bitchily orders him to transport her luggage to the penthouse pronto.
Upon arrival at ColbyCo, Alexis is informed by her newest hot male receptionist that Morgan Hess was detained by the police...news she shrugs at disinterestedly 'cause clearly she doesn't give a rat's ass about the problems of her former PI. She finds Steven in her office placing a bouquet of roses on her side table, and he eagerly asks her how many oil leases she was able to secure while in Hong Kong. She grimly says she never had a chance 'cause Blake has them all tied up...and Steven whines yet again about how upset he is that he did so much of the legwork on the South China Sea report, which Adam promptly stole for the purpose of benefiting Denver Carrington. He tells his mother how puzzled he is that she's not putting up any kind of fight about the oil leases, but she just cooingly urges him to reconcile with Blake, them being father and son and all. Steven says he's pleasantly surprised by her uncharacteristically kind disposition towards Blake, then kisses her goodbye and saunters out. Alexis then goes through her stack of mail and finds a telegram that reads: Explosion tomorrow, Rashid Ahmed. Subtle, Rashid. She smiles evilly and murmurs, "A thousand blessings on your head."
Over at the mansion, Adam is barking at someone on the phone to get him enlarged maps of the South China Sea. Steven overhears him, calls him a common thief, and bitches at him for enjoying the fruits of others' labors. OMFG, get over the boring loss of your South China Sea research paper already, ya dullard.
Steven heads over to the mansion's wood paneled workout room, where Jeff is exercising his upper body. The two chat about Little Blake's party, then reminisce about birthdays past. Ho hum. Adam suddenly bursts into the room to continue his conversation with Steven - but when he sees that Jeff is there, he abruptly halts the conversation and mumbles, "We'll settle the matter later."
Later, Adam enters Jeff's office to show off his newly enlarged South China Sea maps. Jeff asks him whassup with the weird vibe between him and Steven in the workout room earlier, so Adam explains that Steven keeps accusing him, ad fucking nauseam, of stealing his research for the South China Sea report. He claims it's not true, then wanks Jeff by telling him he stands to make a fortune as a result of Blake's genius deal-making.
Blake summons Kirby to his office for an elaborate fish lunch. He tells her he got a call from Lieutenant Taylor, aka the cop who allowed her to read her father's suicide note. He chides her for going down that path and says that Joseph's dying wish was for her to never know anything about what was in that note, then urges her to find a way to forgive Alexis for the terrible things she's said and done...her being Adam's mother and all. Kirby pretends to be willing to consider that - but in the next scene, she makes a beeline over to the nearest pay phone in the lobby to call the gun range and book her first training session on how to pump lead into those who have done her wrong.
Alexis is lounging about her penthouse, watching TV and munching on raw broccoli and dip. Mark tells her she looks as though she has the inside scoop on some big news that's about to break - but she just shoots him a withering stare and tells him to take his Bloody Mary drink and get lost. As he slinks off to his hovel with his shriveled set of balls, Dex enters the penthouse with his cheek still scratched up from their Hong Kong rumble. Alexis groans at the sight of her cuckolded ex-lover and says it's too late for him to apologize - and he sneeringly retorts that if he were here about an apology, it would be to get one from her. She glares at him and snaps, "Goodbye, Dex" - but he reminds her that as business partners of the Lex-Dex Corporation, they have a lot of stuff to work out. Alexis rolls her eyes and says she'd be happy to buy him out...and he retorts by tossing his penthouse key into her bowl of dip. Very mature, Dex. He informs her that Tracy Kendall was just fired by Blake and that she's bitter, unemployed, and likely willing to share useful intel about Denver Carrington. Alexis remarks that Tracy is an attractive lady and suggests that Dex hire her for his own purposes - but he pretends to not be remotely interested in tapping that and stalks out of the penthouse.
Over at Carrington Manor, Fallon is watching Jeff transform himself from resident Dynasty hunk into a clown in preparation for Little Blake's party. When the phone rings, Fallon quickly snatches up the receiver (no doubt 'cause she's anxiously expecting a call from her doctor), but it's just Alexis, asking when the party starts. Jeff asks her whassup with her visible nervousness, but she breezily assures him she's fine.
Party time! Little Blake's party is in full swing with a juggler, pony rides, a carousel, and a bored looking mermaid who's lounging beside the swimming pool. Interesting choice. I wonder who thought a live mermaid would fit into a carnival themed child's birthday party?? Blake schmaltzily tells Krystle that when their spawn turns two, they'll have an even grander party than this.
Alexis makes her grand entrance to the party decked out in a flowy lavender dress and a matching wide-brimmed hat. When Blake ambles over to greet her, she coos about how eager she is to buy some oil leases in the South China Sea, and he promises to make a deal with her if the offer is good. She credits him for being a fair man, and reminds him that they'll always be connected through their children and grandchildren...and Blake grunts something unintelligible before wandering off.
Kirby runs into Jeff, who's now a full-on clown, and the two exchange some light-hearted banter about what a dashing clown he is. From a few feet away, Adam glares at them with his pointy face scrunched in disapproval...and when Jeff wanders off to entertain a small group of children, an irked Adam tells Kirby he'd like to have a discussion right this minute about what their future child would inherit. When Kirby gives him a weird look and is all, "Huh??" he makes it clear how annoyed he is about her friendly disposition towards Jeff, then bitchily storms off. Kirby runs into Alexis and asks her if the Paris job offer is still on the table, and Alexis says it is, then reminds her that when the offer had been made, she'd turned it down flat. Kirby agrees that, yep, that had been her initial reaction...but that she's much more open to it now that the Dynasty writers have gotten so bored with her character that they declined to renew her contract for Season 5.
As the party wears on, the toddler guests seem to be having fun with all the games and pony rides. Blake proudly tells Krystle he bought a survey ship he wants to re-christen Krystle before they set sail aboard it next week, and Krystle pretends to look thrilled by the odd gift and gives him a happy hug. Claudia, meanwhile, is happily posing for photographs with Alexis while Steven snaps away. Steven says he's thrilled that his wife-beard and mother appear to be getting along and now feels bad about suspecting Alexis of sending Claudia violets and making those weird Matthew calls.
Fallon calls her doctor, who tells her that the test results indicate she has a healthy brain, and just enough brain cells to rub together. She looks visibly relieved and thanks him - just as Jeff enters the room and grumbles about how he's fucking done being a birthday party clown.
Alexis enters the kitchen and criticizes the staff for their choices of party snacks. Krystle overhears her and nicely asks one of the servants to prepare a plate of caviar for Alexis...then pulls Alexis aside and admonishes her for ordering her staff around. She then makes it a point to decline a glass of champagne and smugly tells Alexis she's giving up alcohol for the next nine months, and Alexis makes an ew face and correctly guesses that she's carrying Blake's spawn. When Krystle reminds her that she was responsible for her losing her first child and isn't about to let her anywhere near this one, Alexis rolls her eyes and snidely retorts, "Stop playing Mother Earth, Krystle. When you’ve given birth to four then you can crow." Krystle scrunches her face confusedly as she mentally counts Alexis' offspring and goes, "Four? What are you talking about?" ... and Alexis pretends she was mistaken about the number of children she's delivered 'cause she accidentally added in a faux miscarriage.
Upstairs in the nursery, Jeff presents Fallon with a ginormous sapphire ring and tells her it once belonged to Grandmother Colby. Fallon oohs at its beauty and puts it on her ring finger...and when Jeff asks when the wedding is, she replies, "Whenever you say." The two smooch while Little Blake coos happily from his crib.
Alexis arrives at her penthouse and gets a call from Morgan Hess, who's in the lobby of her building and insists on talking to her.
Kirby is at the gun range, getting her first shooting lesson. The instructor gives her tips on how to properly squeeze the trigger...and when he suggests she imagine that the paper target is a person who's done her harm, she pictures Alexis bitchily telling her she's not fit to mix with rich people like the Carringtons. She pulls the trigger multiple times, and the impressed instructor says she shot her target right through the heart.
Morgan Hess thanks Alexis for bailing him out of jail and arranging for a lawyer, but says he's worried that he could still get his PI license suspended. Alexis tells him she couldn't give the tiniest of rat's asses 'bout that and accuses him of attempting to frame her for the gaslighting plot against Claudia. Hess gets angry and threatens to tell Steven it was all her idea, but she argues that Steven wouldn't believe him and that he should pack up his threats and leave. When he begs her to pleeeeease help him retain his license, she mocks his fugly plaid jacket and he angrily retorts, "Someday someone will get you good!" She snaps, "Goodbye!" and reminds him she's still alive and kicking, despite the two murder attempts that we know about.
Over in the library at Carrington manor, Blake and Krystle are all gussied up 'cause apparently Fallon had requested that everyone show up for dinner in black tie. Seems weird to dress up so elaborately in one's own home, but then I've never been a mansion dweller. Steven and Claudia arrive, along with Adam...and when he asks if anyone's seen Kirby lately, they all just stare back at him blankly and tell him they have no idea where she could be. When Fallon and Jeff make their entrance, Fallon flashes her ginormous ring and excitedly announces that she and Jeff are getting married. Again. Everyone's all, "Awww!" and Steven offers the happy couple a toast.
Senior Manservant Gerard slips into the library to inform Blake that Andy just phoned to tell him to turn on the TV asap. The Carringtons then gather around the television set, where the news anchor is talking about how Blake Carrington got himself involved in what is now unfolding as an international incident. Apparently, Rashid Ahmed is now claiming - without a shred of proof, I can only assume - that the $100 million that Blake paid to secure oil leases was actually for the purpose of buying arms for one government to use against a rival government...and I wonder why the show didn't at least make up names of fake countries in order to reduce confusion. The faux conflict has resulted in a counter reaction from various other unnamed countries - LOL - and naval forces have moved into the South China Sea to prevent a full-scale war, which means there can be no oil exploration by Denver Carrington or any affiliated oil companies. The news anchor wonders what this will mean for Blake, a self touted genius of a business man. An enraged Blake starts railing about how he's a scapegoat who got tricked by that sneaky Rashid Ahmed, then announces that he's off to his office to deal with this crisis...and I guess that's that for Fallon's engagement party.
The press is waiting at Denver Carrington 'cause apparently they had nothing better to do at this time of night but to wait around the lobby in the hopes that Blake would show up...and the reporters simultaneously shout questions at Blake as he and Krystle shove through the crowd to get to the elevator. Krystle promises to arrange a press conference as soon as they have more information, while Jeff starts working the phones. When Adam enters the room, Blake tells him they both need to fly to Hong Kong tomorrow to straighten out this contrived mess, then wonders aloud why Ahmed would double-cross him this way, especially after he received such a huge commission. He recalls that Alexis told him earlier that she hadn't seen Ahmed while she was in Hong Kong, but quickly suspects that she was lying and is somehow behind all this.
Alexis, meanwhile, is enjoying a luxurious bubble bath in her penthouse while talking on the phone with Ahmed. She giggles about their successful plot in bringing Blake down, then tells him to enjoy his next move.
Recap: Krystle rushes into Blake's office at Denver-Carrington, passing a small mob of reporters on the way. She tells him that the phones are ringing off the hook and that every journalist in the country wants to score an interview with him. She says she just talked to Fred Palmer, the editor of World Finance, and that he wants to dispatch one of his reporters to write up a cover story that will nauseatingly gush over Blake's brilliance in negotiating the South China Sea deal - and Blake looks amused and says he'll only agree to do it if the cover photo includes his hot trophy wife. Krystle chuckles and says that Fred wants the skinny on how Blake was able to pull off the world's most amaaaaaaazing oil deal, but warns him that he'll want his reporter to ask him some sticky questions about why he would agree to negotiate with a devious double-crosser like Rashid Ahmed. Blake reminds her that he doesn't trust Ahmed, and that he merely acted as an intermediary for the government of whatever unnamed country he inked the South China Sea deal with. Seems weird that a government would appoint a non-citizen of arguable shadiness to represent their sovereign country in a major oil lease deal that will supposedly bring about major changes in energy consumption around the entire world...but whatevs, writers.
Kirby is at the police station, asking to get a look at the note her father wrote before ending it all with his self-inflicted mercy killing during The Bungalow episode. In the note, Joseph admits to setting the cabin fire in an effort to stop that evil woman (aka Alexis) and hopes that his death will satisfy her need for vengeance. Kirby thanks the police officer, then stares into space and robotically says she now fully understands what her father's death was all about.
Adam bursts into Steven's office to express his annoyance about Alexis being in Hong Kong. Steven snappishly tells him she jetted there to salvage whatever oil leases she could get after Blake scooped up the prime ones - thanks to the stolen evaluation that he (meaning himself) wrote up about the South China Sea. Adam warns him about calling the report stolen and reminds him that he too worked very hard on that report. Steven's like, "Whatevs" and tells Adam he never bothered to tell Blake about Alexis' trip to Hong Kong, then barks at him to get the hell out of his office.
Blake and Adam are shooting pool at Carrington manor. Blake remarks to Adam how distracted he seems and assumes it's 'cause of Kirby's recent discovery about her mother's death. Adam says it was cruel of Alexis to inform Kirby that her mother was a philandering murderess shortly before learning of her untimely death, then reminds Blake that Alexis is in Hong Kong, picking over whatever scraps in the form of oil leases he left behind. Blake says he doesn't give a rat's ass about inconveniencing Alexis and insists that nothing will stop his monumental oil deal.
Over in Hong Kong, Mark is pouring two glasses of champagne when Alexis breezes into her hotel suite and demands to know what the hell he's doing here...then orders him to get lost 'cause she has a dinner date. She hands him a small wad of cash and urges him to go out and enjoy himself, and Mark grabs the cash and meekly allows himself to be dismissed. On his way down the hall he sees Rashid Ahmed amble over to Alexis' suite...and when Alexis opens the door and greets him all sexy-breathy, Mark chuckles to himself about the doinkfest that's sure to follow. Ew.
After Rashid and Alexis smooch intensely, he smarmily tells her what an awesome night they have ahead of them. Alexis blushingly agrees, then gleefully asks, "Do I ruin Blake Carrington or don't I?" and Rashid's just like, "Dunno. Are we hitting the sheets now, or what?"
Dex has arrived at Alexis' hotel in Hong Kong...and he's on a pay phone, trying to reach her - but can't 'cause she's too busy doinking Rashid at the moment. He spots Mark in the bar, seats himself beside him, and complains about how he and Alexis should be working together on the South China Sea deal 'cause he's worried she's going to do something stupid to screw it up. Mark assures him he has nothing to worry about regarding Alexis getting double-dealed, then dutifully covers for his boss and tells him that she's currently out shopping.
Adam enters the breakfast room as Jeff is drinking his morning coffee and looking over his divorce papers from Kirby. The two snipe at each other until Adam suggests they end their animosity, then points out that he and Kirby (aka his former rape victim) will be married while he (Jeff) and Fallon will likely retie the knot. He proposes shaking hands to officially let bygones be bygones and holds out his hand, but Jeff shoots him the stink-eye and snaps, "Don't press your luck" and stalks out of the room.
Dex has enlisted two hotel manservants to give him access to Alexis' suite and assist him in delivering a sumptuous breakfast and a giant bouquet of flowers. When they enter the suite, a bewildered Rashid stumbles into the living room with a towel wrapped around his waist...and after the two men glare hatefully at each other for several seconds, Dex snappishly orders the hapless manservants to take the flowers and food away. Rashid threatens to call security - just as Alexis breezes into the room in her silky pink negligee to see whassup. She stares in shock at Dex and moans, "Dex...oh my God..." and Dex snaps, "Happy hour's over" and orders Rashid to get dressed and slink through the back door if he hopes to avoid an ass kicking. Rashid angrily tells Alexis he'd be happy to deal with "this whining dog", but Alexis assures him she's more than capable of handling this private matter and assures him that it's OK for him to leave. She then turns to Dex and chides him for bursting in on her unannounced, and he gets all indignant as he reminds her that he had pledged his fidelity to her during the previous episode 'cause of his deep love for her...then contorts his face into an angry expression and snarls, "But what I fell in love with was a slut - a slut with the morals of a dog in perpetual heat!" An enraged Alexis smacks him across the face, and he responds by smacking her back (!), and she retaliates to the counter-smack by lunging at him and knocking him to the floor, where they start wrestling around. Before things can turn too weirdly violent-erotic, Alexis scratches Dex on the cheek and begins throwing things at him...and he smirks and says, "Nice to see the real you, Alexis." An enraged Alexis lunges at him again - but this time Dex hauls her to her feet and gives her an intense smooch. The two stare at each other with horny rancor before Alexis pulls him toward her - but Dex shoves her away and decides that, nope, he's not going to forgive her for cheating on him with Rashid and reward her with a jealousy-fuelled hate-doink and declares, "We're through!" [I honestly didn't see that coming.] Alexis widens her eyes and dramatically shakes her head in disbelief - LOL - then contorts her face into an expression of disdain and snarkishly calls him "an overrated cowboy", and refers to herself in the third person as she haughtily pronounces, "Nobody owns Alexis!" and throws a champagne bottle at him. Dex shoots her one last stink-eye and stalks out of the suite. Awesome!
Kirby is at a gun shop, looking to buy a handgun. The store clerk spends a few minutes lecturing her on the dangers of guns and reminds her that she can always call the police if she finds herself in peril...but then lays a few small handguns on the counter for her to peruse.
Blake is primping for his interview with Gordon Wales, the local editor of World Finance. Krystle offers to accompany him 'cause of the strong likelihood he's going to lose his temper and come off looking an angry dickwad. Blake declines her help and says that while he's not a pushover, he's confident that the interview will go very well.
In the next scene, Blake is letting his inner [but also largely outer] dickwad shine as he snappishly admonishes Gordon Wales about conducting the interview like an inquisition, then bitchily refuses to answer any questions about Rashid Ahmed. Gordon drops the subject and brings up Tracy Kendall's firing and asks him whassup with firing her during such an important business trip - and Blake clams up and declares the interview over. Gordon shrugs and promises to send him a copy of the article once it's published...and Blake snaps, "I'll be sure to show it to my legal staff!" Smooth, Blake.
Back at Carrington manor, Krystle and Claudia are about to leave for work when the phone rings...and it's another suspicious sounding call for Claudia. Krystle offers to take it, and as soon as she picks up the receiver she hears Matthew's voice on the other end pleading, "We need you, Lindsay and I. We're a family." Krystle's like, "Hello? Matthew? It's me, Krystle" and is mystified when Matthew doesn't respond to her. When the call abruptly ends, Krystle stares pensively into space before recounting to Claudia what Matthew said. She says it sounded like a recording...and Claudia decides it's finally time to mention that when Matthew was in the Middle East while she was at the funny farm (pre-Season 1), he told her that he had mailed her a cassette tape in lieu of a written letter. According to Matthew's mother, the oral letter never arrived - but Claudia thinks that maybe it did arrive and that Mama Blaisdel cuntishly kept it from her all these years. Krystle promises to help get to the bottom of the matter that could easily have been resolved during the first installment of The Voice episode trilogy.
Jeff invites Fallon to go horseback riding with him...and by horseback riding, he means go with him to a nearby park with a carousel. As the two climb onto plastic horses, Jeff asks her if she's ready to get remarried yet, but she doesn't reply 'cause her head suddenly starts to ache from the around-and-around motion of the carousel. Fallon promptly returns to her office, pours herself a drink, and calls the doctor who treated her after her skull fracture.
Krystle and Claudia arrive at Mama Blaisdel's house to inquire about the tape Matthew recorded pre-Season 1 and mailed to Claudia from the Middle East. When Krystle threatens to call the police and report her for harassment, Mama Blaisdel cracks and admits that she sold the tape for $500 to a mystery man who outright said he planned to use it to fuck with Claudia's head. She then snarks about how Claudia doesn't deserve a moment of happiness in her marriage with Steven, with whom she cheated on Matthew...despite the fact that Matthew also cheated on Claudia. With Krystle, amusingly enough.
Krystle heads over to Denver-Carrington to give Blake an update on the Claudia/Mama Blaisdel situation. Blake suspects that Alexis somehow orchestrated the "Matthew" calls, and tells Krystle he'll handle everything from here on in.
Blake heads over to the office of Morgan Hess and forces his way inside. He snappishly asks the P.I. if he's still doing shady work for Alexis, but Hess just stares at him blankly and says he has absolutely no clue what he's talking about. Blake spots a tape player on his desk, shoves past Hess, and hits the play button...and naturally it's the tape Matthew had recorded for Claudia. Blake demands to know how much Alexis paid him to torment her own daughter-in-law, but Hess insists it wasn't Alexis, a woman he now hates with the intensity of a thousand suns. He says he intends to plant the tape in Alexis' office so that Steven would find it and hate her for what she's been doing to his wife. Blake barks, "Scum!" and admonishes him for playing games with Claudia's fragile sanity. He then summons the police sergeant who, up until now, has been lurking in the hallway [and apparently takes orders from Blake - as opposed to his superior within the police department] and places Hess under arrest.
Claudia is standing in front of the fireplace, staring at a photo of Lindsay. Steven enters the room and asks whassup, and Claudia tells him she couldn't bring herself to bring charges against Mama Blaisdel after all the suffering she's been through. She then decides, 'Enough grieving over my deceased crybaby daughter already' and tosses Lindsay's photo into the fire, then says she wants to focus all of her energy on her future with him and Danny. Steven gives her a smooch, then picks her up and carries her to the bed, where they start to go at it.
Tracy ambles into the bar of her Hong Kong hotel and notices Dex drowning his sorrows in the bottle. She joins him and tells him that Blake fired her from Denver-Carrington - though conveniently leaves out the icky part about her trying to seduce the old goat. Dex mutters something about Alexis' betrayal then offers to buy her a drink, and Tracy flirtily sizes him up as she chuckles about Alexis hooking up with another man. In the next scene, the two are enjoying some post-coital afterglow...and as they banter about how awesome each other is in the sack, Dex offers Tracy a job working for Alexis so that she can spill any damaging insider info she may have about Denver-Carrington. He then says that if she's willing to double-cross Alexis and spy on her for him, he'll give her an additional salary. Tracy looks into it, asks if an occasional bed romp with him could be part of the sleazy arrangement (it can!), and the two start going at it again.
Jeff informs Blake that the last loan for the South China Sea deal was approved and wired to Hong Kong. He compliments Blake for being such a brilliant risk-taking businessman, then scoffs about Alexis' unwillingness to ever take a similar risk with ColbyCo. Blake smugly tells him that he successfully shut Alexis out of getting any oil leases from the South China Sea deal, then laughs about how the only remaining leases are worthless.
Rashid stops by Alexis' hotel suite to give her a gift: a jeweled mirror that once belonged to the Empress of Tibet. Alexis coos over its beauty and says she'll treasure it forever, then asks how their deal is proceeding - and Rashid says it's going well, but that he's making his moves carefully. When Alexis presses him to tell her when his plot will be unleashed, he says, "The explosion will be heard all over the financial world" and adds that soon Blake will be dead financially. Alexis poutishly murmurs, "Blake's funeral, finally" then stares contemplatively at herself in the jeweled mirror.
Recap: Rashid Ahmed drops by Blake's (Hong Kong) hotel suite in advance of their joint press conference in front of the world media...'cause apparently the world media is waiting - with bated breath! - to hear all about how their deal making went. Ahmed assumes that Blake hit the sheets with Tracy since he's so far away from home and all...then compliments the old goat's yummy track record of hot wives. Blake snappishly reminds him that they're about to make a statement to the press - and Tracy pokes her head into the room to inform them that the news crew has just arrived.
Blake makes a quick phone call to Krystle to inform her that the South China Sea deal is all signed and ready to implement...and that he's taking Tracy out for dinner as a reward for all of her diligent note-taking. A delivery guy interrupts his call to drop off his missing luggage from the airlines...and when Blake browses through the contents of the carry-on bag, he realizes that the delivery guy brought him Tracy's bag by mistake. He's shocked to find a framed photo of Tracy canoodling with Eric Grayson (the guy who recruited Blake to become State Chairman of the Party) - 'cause, yeah, who doesn't slip a framed photo of oneself with a secret married lover in carry-on luggage when flying overseas for work? - just as Tracy drops by his suite to swap their mixed up bags. She anxiously says she hopes he didn't look inside her carry-on 'cause she's such terrible packer, and Blake just grunts unintelligibly. She giddily reminds him that dinner is in thirty minutes, then rushes back to her room to change and primp for a night out with goat daddy.
Mark is shuffling around Alexis' penthouse in his fuzzy warm bathrobe, helping himself to the decadent breakfast food that some flunky from the restaurant downstairs must have just delivered. He turns on the television set just as Alexis sweeps into the living room wearing a pale blue negligee ensemble...and she complains of a headache from all the champagne she drank at a party last night. She snappishly orders Mark to turn off the TV - but he begs her to pleeeeeease let him watch sports news. Before Alexis can incredulously contemplate the useless man-pet she's been keeping in her penthouse for no explainable reason, a TV news anchor interrupts the regularly scheduled programming to announce that Blake Carrington has just made "the deal of the century". The camera then pans to an uninspiring press conference featuring Blake and Ahmed stiffly seated at a table together, while Tracy is quietly seated in the background.
Blake introduces Ahmed as the representative of the cooperating government (of which country, we're never told), and that the South China Sea deal they just negotiated will tap into new sources of energy and benefit not only their two countries, but the entire world. Sounds implausibly lofty, but OK. Alexis angrily shuts off the TV and barks at Mark to get lost so she can make a private phone call. She calls an operator in Hong Kong to track down Rashid Ahmed...and when she hears a weird clicking sound on the line, she irritably orders Mark to hang up the phone in his room and get his ass back upstairs so she can reprimand him face-to-face. When he sheepishly emerges from the little stairwell that leads to his hovel, he explains that he only eavesdropped on her 'cause he wants to improve his future and was hoping she could give him a few leads on how to grow his savings. Alexis somehow refrains from bursting out laughing [like I couldn't help doing] and tells him she's impressed by his desire to accumulate more wealth and promises to discuss it with him after they return from Hong Kong. Mark perks up and is all, "Wha-a-a?! I get to go to Hong Kong?!!" and she explains that she's going to need protection while in Hong Kong 'cause the trip will involve "staggering amounts of cash" ... and for some reason believes that Mark's lackluster bodyguarding skills will be adequate to provide a high level of security. Mark stares into space, looking flattered and intrigued by the weighty assignment. LOL.
At dinner, Blake asks Tracy what she thought of Eric Grayson, and she just shrugs and says she hardly knows the man, then asks why he's asking. Blake cagily says he just wants to be sure they'll get along 'cause she's going to have to work closely with him on the party's campaign once they return to the States. Tracy flirtily says she's most looking forward to working with the State Chairman of the Party, then grins stupidly and discreetly removes one of her earrings while he's not looking.
Over at ColbyCo, Alexis' new assistant (Lloyd) informs her that her reservations for Hong Kong have been booked and confirmed. Soon after, Dex arrives with a wrapped gift and tells Alexis he has to fly to L.A. for business later today and would like her to accompany him. Alexis unwraps the gift and coos happily at the violet corsage inside - and Dex schmaltzily suggests she wear it during their L.A. trip. Alexis tells him it's lovely, but that she's too busy to travel with him today...and adds that he'll probably want to be unfettered during the trip so he can hit the sheets with all the hot L.A. women he's sure to rub up against. Dex is all, "Whoa.." and tells her he stopped whoring around ever since the two of them hooked up, pronounces, "I'm old fashioned that way", and cites his deep belief in fidelity. Alexis credits him for being so delightfully old fashioned, but says she's still unable to accompany him on the trip. Dex says, in that case, he'll conduct his business in L.A. as quickly as he can so he can hurry home and be with her...and the two cap off the scene with a yuckily intense smooch.
Krystle drops by La Mirage to lunch with Claudia...but Claudia gets all wigged out when she sees a young blonde girl who looks a lot like Lindsay. Krystle gives her a comforting pat and says it's perfectly normal to mistake strangers for dead loved ones. But that her daughter would never ever be allowed back on Dynasty after the spectacle of her unspeakably ugly crying scenes in Season 1.
Alexis coos to Steven about how happy she is that he's safely back from [the TV back lot that was populated with enough donkeys and colorful ponchos to make viewers believe that they had been magically transported to] Peru. She bitches about how Blake sneaked off to Hong Kong and tied up a bunch of leases in the South China Sea without giving ColbyCo a fair chance to get in on the bidding. Steven argues that Blake doesn't sneak or steal - but insists that Adam would. Alexis rolls her eyes and changes the subject to her imminent trip to Hong Kong, where she's going to see about wrapping up any of the remaining leases. Steven suddenly gets distracted when he stares across the room and spots the violet corsage that Dex had given her earlier, then spacily wanders over to it. Alexis assures him it has nothing at all to do with the weird violet deliveries that Claudia's been getting, and reminds him that violets are a very popular flower.
Back in Hong Kong, Blake and Tracy are walking back to their hotel suites. She flirtily thanks him for dinner, then pretends she lost her earring while making phone calls in his suite earlier. Blake pretends to take the bait and invites her in...and when he's not looking, she discreetly takes her "missing" earring out of her purse and pretends to find it on the carpet. She thanks him for his kindness in not drawing attention to her earring-less ear while they were dining in the restaurant, and Blake scrunches his face grouchily and says he didn't draw attention to it 'cause he knows full well that she was wearing both earrings during dinner. He says he's well aware of "women's games", then calls her out on the "Eric Grayson charade". Tracy correctly assumes that he must have come across her framed photo of the two of them when their bags had gotten mixed up by the airlines, and chirps, "Guilty as charged" ... then casually admits that, yep, she's been boned by Eric from time to time. She refers to him as "an attractive man", then gives Blake an appreciative once-over and purrs, "And I happen to believe in going after what I find attractive. And I think you're very attractive." She puts her arms around him and asks if he feels the same way 'bout her - but Blake irritably pushes her away and sternly reminds her that the only reason she's here is 'cause his wife is pregnant and was unable to fly. He orders her to forget about her attraction to him - and by him I think we can safely assume they both mean his money and associated perks - then fires her and tells her to figure out her own transportation back to Denver. Tracy poutishly retorts that he can't fire her 'cause of how good she is at what she does, but he just snaps, "Good bye!" and glares into space as she tearfully rushes out of the suite.
Kirby tells Adam she thinks she may have found out where her murderess mother is being incarcerated: some asylum in Bismarck. When Adam rolls his eyes and tells her to please leave this tedious subplot alone 'cause it's doubtful that any good could possibly come of it, she snarkishly retorts that she's going to search for her long-lost mother with or without his help. To that I say: please do it without his help...preferably off camera. Adam grabs her, envelopes her in a tight hug, and insists he loves her. She barks, "Show me that!" and the two silently stare at each other until the camera pans away.
Fallon and Jeff return to the mansion after a day of horseback riding. After some flirty banter, Jeff proposes marriage before the ink on his divorce papers from Kirby can have time to dry. Fallon says it's definitely tempting, but that she doesn't want to say yes for the wrong reason, and that she should prolly take some time to think about whether or not they should jump into a re-marriage. Jeff contorts his freakish caterpillar eyebrows and says he's good with that...and the two smooch.
Blake's private plane lands at a small airstrip in Denver...and eagerly awaiting his arrival is Krystle in a bulky fur coat, along with a news crew that must not have had anything more newsworthy to cover that day. As Blake steps onto the tarmac, the reporters surround him and gush about his expert deal making - LOL - but he rudely shoves past them to stare creepishly at Krystle and kiss her hello. Once they're out of earshot from the reporters, he informs her that he fired Tracy for trying to seduce him...and Krystle somehow refrains from laughing/cringing at the visual of an attractive thirty-two year old woman pretending to be hot for goat daddy, and promises to handle his publicity from now on. She adds that she can't really be too mad at Tracy 'cause of her excellent taste in men...and the two get all schmaltzy and compliment each other's awesomeness.
Kirby and Adam arrive at a reporter's office in Bismarck. The reporter hands Kirby an article he clipped about her mother, who was released after being declared sane. Kirby asks if he knows where she went after her release, and he solemnly replies, "Yes, I know where she is" ... and in the next scene, Adam and Kirby pull up to the local graveyard. By scripted coincidence, Kirby runs into an old friend of her mother's, who directs her to the proper gravestone, which for some spooky reason just has her name engraved on it - no birth/death dates. The old friend tells Kirby that her mother loved her soooo much, and that she had a doll she named Kirby. During her incarceration, she nattered incessantly about hoping to be forgiven by her husband and daughter and had wanted to return to Denver, but didn't have the courage after her life was destroyed. Kirby has a flashback of when Alexis taunted her about how her mother ran off with and killed her lover, then thanks the kindly old woman and returns to where Adam is waiting. He asks her if she's ready to go home, and she stares vacantly into space as she robotically replies, "Home...yes. I know exactly what I have to do there." That can't be good.
Dex drops by Alexis' office and is miffed when Lloyd tells him that she left for Hong Kong not long ago. Steven appears out of nowhere and snarkishly asks Dex if he's going to send his mother another violet corsage. Dex acknowledges that he's well aware that he (Steven) doesn't particularly like him 'cause of how much he resents his relationship with Alexis, then correctly guesses that he suspects him of being the sicko who's been sending Claudia weird violet deliveries. Steven warns him to not hurt anyone he cares about, and Dex snaps at him for making threats and storms out of the office. It's really too bad that these two yawns don't have the volatility of Krystle and Alexis engaged in a heated argument while standing next to a muddy pond. (Dynasty cat fights are so damn awesome to recap.)
Krystle is playing with Danny in the nursery when Fallon enters the room and slumps into the rocking chair. She says she's now grateful to Alexis for warning her about Peter, who made it clear that he didn't particularly like children. She says if she had married Eurotrash, he might have pulled her away from Baby Blake - but Krystle doesn't agree that she would have allowed that to happen, however infatuated with the weirdo she had allowed herself to become. Krystle remarks that she and Jeff seem really close lately, and Fallon gets a dreamy look on her face and says it's definitely possible that they could end up together again.
Blake summons Eric Grayson to his office to sternly announce that their political partnership is over, and judgily adds that he doesn't do business with liars. When Eric scrunches his face confusedly, Blake says he knows he's been boning Tracy, and that he wants nothing to do with a party that would put up with the likes of him. Actually, his affair with Tracy seems pretty mild in the sleazy world of D.C. politics, but OK. Blake promises to not out his affair for the sake of his family, but makes it clear that he's resigning as State Chairman of the Party...then brusquely orders Eric to make the announcement to the press.
Claudia gets a call at La Mirage, and once again it's Matthew's pleading voice: "Claudia, we need you, Lindsay and I." She tells Fallon to call the police - but a few seconds later the caller abruptly hangs up. By coincidence (or not?) we see that Dex is in a phone booth, booking a flight to Hong Kong.
That evening at Carrington manor, Blake tells his lawyer Andy that he almost has all the cash he's going to need to pay for the South China Sea oil leases. Andy warns him to not get too cocky about his oil lease deal, 'cause of the humiliation he could face if it fails and he "falls from a great height". Blake brushes off the notion that anyone could possibly screw up this deal for him - like Alexis, for example - and smugly calls the South China Sea deal "a once in a lifetime thing".
Alexis, Mark, and a mountain of luggage arrive in Hong Kong. Alexis enters her fancy hotel suite, which is filled with flowers...and Ahmed makes a schmaltzy entrance decked out in a black robe adorned with gold embroidery and lays it on thick about her beauty. He pours them both a glass of champagne and toasts "the most provocative and fascinating woman in the world". And while he's doing that, the fake black mustache he's sporting struggles to remain glued on his face.
Ahmed tells Alexis he was intrigued when she had implored him to stay in Hong Kong after his dealings with Blake. He then tries to get her into the sack, but she brushes off his advances and says she's too exhausted to allow him to tap that. She does, however, promise that once she's rested they'll have a chat "about you and me...and Blake Carrington and five million dollars". Ahmed looks intrigued, then leans in for an intense smooch.
Recap: Fallon grabs a quick breakfast with Blake and Krystle before heading off to La Mirage to resume her career now that she's swiftly regained the ability to walk. Blake bids her adieu, then flirtily banters with Krystle about their upcoming business trip to Hong Kong.
Steven wakes up alone in bed and finds a note from Claudia: I've gone to Peru to find out if Matthew is really dead.
At Denver-Carrington, Blake and Krystle are briefing Tracy on The Far East Situation when Krystle suddenly looks pale and nearly falls over. Tracy brazenly asks if her shakiness is pregnancy related...and as Krystle stares at her in bewilderment, Blake scrunches his wrinkly face confusedly and is all, "Wha-a-a-a?" Tracy contorts her face into a faux sheepish expression and explains that she nosily discovered that Krystle recently had an appointment with an obstetrician, and put two and two together when she nearly fainted just now. She scuttles out of the room before Krystle has a chance to ask why in blazes she's so interested in her doctors' appointments...and then Krystle tells Blake that the doctor told her that pregnancy was within the realm of possibility. Blake grins stupidly and says he's keeping his fingers crossed that she's carrying his spawn. Blech.
Over at ColbyCo, Steven is commiserating to Alexis about how Claudia is being driven to near madness by whatever mysterious person has been tormenting her with strange, Matthew-related deliveries. Alexis assures him that she's not the one behind the deliveries, and that she had advised his wife-beard to contact the police so that they could get to the bottom of this harassment. She then rolls her eyes and snarks about how illogical it was for Claudia to jet off to Peru in the middle of the night, then says when she returns to Denver, it might do her some good to get checked back into the funny farm for a round of mental health treatment. Steven stares contemplatively into space as he mulls over that sensible suggestion.
Jeff invites Fallon to go skiing with him in Aspen...and after some flirty back and forth, Fallon says she'd love to, then needlessly assures him she's totes over Peter De Vilbis.
Krystle and Blake are dining at La Mirage when the waiter brings over a telephone so that Krystle can take a phone call from her doctor. He confirms that, yep, Blake's bun is definitely in her oven...and Krystle thanks him for calling, then grins at the old goat and squeals, "It's a yes!"
Claudia arrives at her Peruvian hotel in a dilapidated station-wagon taxi...and in the background are extras decked out in colorful Peruvian ponchos wandering around with donkeys in tow so that viewers can get a real feel for what it's like to be on a ridiculously fake looking TV studio back-lot. An American man named Pat Dunne appears out of nowhere, somehow knows who Claudia is, and tells her he was working in Peru when Matthew had his fiery jeep accident in the jungle. He offers to help with whatever she came all this way to find, then invites her to have dinner with him later.
Blake cautions Krystle against making the trip to Hong Kong on account of her delicate condition and says she should stay home and rest. He then tells her that he arranged for one of his manservants to buy a few tokens of his love for her, then steers her over to one of the mansion's many sitting rooms and presents her with a sable coat and a giant gaudy diamond necklace. Krystle chuckles gleefully at the extravagant gifts, assures him she'll take it easy now that she's in a family way, and gives him a happy hug.
Mark runs into Dex at La Mirage and offers to buy him a drink so they can work through the grudges that each of them has been holding toward the other for no intelligible reason. Dex shrugs and goes, "Sure, why not?"
Later, Dex is sipping on a martini at the penthouse when Alexis arrives home. He tells her he just had a drink with Mark and that it's pretty obvious that the mustached gigolo was trying to get the skinny on whatever nefarious schemes she has brewing. Alexis says she's not in the mood to discuss Mark, 'cause at the moment she's far more concerned about what a burden nutty Claudia is on her beloved son.
In Aspen, Fallon and Jeff are sitting by the fire, drinking hot chocolate and canoodling. They agree on how far they've both come from the vapid dinkwhistles they were in Season 1, then stare longingly at each other. Fallon suddenly clutches her head and says she has a headache, and Jeff says no doubt it's 'cause she cracked her skull during the drunken hit and run three episodes ago. Fallon asks for a rain check on any further canoodling, and Jeff suggests she take a nap and meet up with him for dinner later.
After dinner, Claudia and Pat Dunne are strolling around the fake outdoor Peru set. Pat urges Claudia to report in with the local police, then gets all grab-handsy and invites himself up to her room. She pulls away and is all, "Whoa buddy, I'm married" and tells him she wants to be alone now - and when he starts getting even more grab-handsy, Steven appears and orders Pat to take his hands off his wife-beard. Pat shrugs, tells Steven he's a lucky man (LOL, OK..?), then ambles off. Claudia races over to Steven and hugs him and says she's sooo happy he followed her to Peru.
Back at Carrington manor, Kirby ambles into the kitchen in her satin nightie and runs into Adam. She tells him she's having trouble sleeping 'cause she can't stop thinking about her criminally insane mother...and Adam's like, "Whatever" and says he can't think about that right now 'cause he has to focus all of mental energy on monitoring Blake's Hong Kong trip. Kirby snappishly accuses him of not giving a damn about her family problems, and Adam's like, "Well d'yuh" and changes the subject to their upcoming nuptials and how he'd like them to try for another baby asap, which...ew. He then backpedals and acknowledges how shitty it was of Alexis to hire an investigator to gather together all those newspaper articles about her murderous mom, but reminds her that Blake really likes her and couldn't be happier that she's about to become a member of his dysfunctional family. This seems to placate Kirby, and he plants her with one of his creepishly intense smooches.
Blake is in his fancy Hong Kong hotel suite, complaining over the phone to the airlines about how they lost his and Tracy's luggage. A few seconds later, he gets a surprise visit from Sheikh Rashid Ahmed, who smugly informs Blake that he's representing the government that Blake is currently negotiating his pending oil deal with. Blake haughtily calls this arrangement unacceptable, but Ahmed just shrugs and says he can either deal with him or walk away from the negotiations.
Jeff and Fallon are canoodling in bed, and both agree that they've enjoyed their impromptu Aspen vacay.
Adam storms into Alexis' office to declare that he's marrying Kirby, and that she (Alexis) will regret it if she does anything more to hurt his future wife/former rape victim. Alexis urges him to consider his future, specifically the kind of woman with whom he wants to share his wealth and business success. She derisively describes Kirby as a low-class liability with skeletons in her closet - but before Adam can retort, he gets an emergency overseas call from Blake, who tracked Adam down 'cause he urgently needs him to determine whether or not Rashid Ahmed's current government assignment is on the up and up. He tells Adam to keep this intel from Alexis...and Adam's like, "Can do", but then presses his pen hard while writing AHMED (in all caps!) on her notepad 'cause apparently he's incapable of committing one man's name to memory. After he rushes out of the office, Alexis cleverly uses her pencil to shade the imprint of what Adam wrote on the pad and easily sees that it's AHMED. She stares contemplatively into space as she silently mulls over what this revelation could possibly mean.
Later in the penthouse, a drunk Mark overhears Alexis talking to someone on the phone (Morgan Hess?) about how Blake is making some kind of deal with Rashid Ahmed in Hong Kong, and that she wants plenty more dish 'bout that.
The local police escort Claudia and Steven into "the jungles of Peru" to visit the site of Matthew's fiery jeep accident. When they reach the site, a police officer points at a ravine where the charred debris of Matthew's vehicle can still be seen and says that no bodies were ever found. He solemnly adds, "The jungle has a way of claiming everything" and says it's more than likely that some ravenous jungle creatures dragged the charred bodies away from the vehicle and had a good munch-fest. Claudia looks horrified by the grisly visual, then wails, "OMG!" when she hears the snorting noise of a creature (LOL...Piglet, is that you?) lurking nearly. The officer shrugs and apologizes for grossing her out just now...and Claudia collapses into Steven's arms, sobbing with inconsolable grief.
Back in Hong Kong, Rashid Ahmed returns to Blake's room for a scheduled meeting and gets testy when he sees Tracy standing a few feet away. Blake explains that he wants a witness at their meeting, then gruffly suggests they get down to business. He tells Ahmed he had the legitimacy of his current assignment checked out, was satisfied with the results of that, then pulls out a check for $5 million. He says it's a down payment for the $100 million he plans to pay on the various oil leases...and after some rancorous back and forth, the two men agree that Blake will pay the payment in full within the next thirty days. Ahmed tries to seal the deal by merely shaking on it, but Blake insists he sign the formal contract so that everything's above board. An unhappy Rashid Ahmed reluctantly signs the agreement.
Alexis is enjoying a light breakfast in her penthouse when Fallon drops by unannounced, decked out in a ratty looking sweater jacket with fugly wool things hanging off her shoulders. She apologizes to her mother for her extreme rudeness when she first regained consciousness in the hospital, and also when she tried to warn her about what a scheming womanizer Peter De Vilbis is. She acknowledges the bond that inherently exists between parents and children - and Alexis breathily coos, "Oh Fallon!" and gives her a happy hug.
Fallon returns to Carrington manor and congratulates Krystle on her pregnancy, and the two schmaltzily exchange I love yous. As Fallon exits the sitting room, she clutches her head in pain and looks shaky...then stares worriedly into space about whatever kind of delayed-reaction head injury she may be suffering from. It remains unclear why she doesn't just go to a damn doctor and get a head CT.
Blake and Tracy are wrapping up a coffee klatch in Blake's hotel suite - but Tracy says she doesn't want the evening to end and suggests they go over her notes from the Ahmed meeting. Blake doesn't look thrilled by the idea, but reluctantly agrees...and Tracy scurries back to her room and returns a few seconds later with her notes and a silky pink negligee. She holds it against herself and coquettishly says she saw it while she was shopping and couldn't resist buying it...and when Blake just stares blankly at the sexy garment, she asks him if she should buy one for Krystle. He declines that offer, decides that nothing good could possibly come of viewers being subjected to the icky spectacle of a repugnant old goat like himself getting it on with an overly-ambitious gold digger who's more than thirty years his junior, and woodenly says they can discuss her meeting notes in the morning. A disappointed and slightly bewildered Tracy leaves him her notebook, packs up her pink negligee, and heads very slooooowly towards the door.
Back at Carrington manor, Steven, Claudia, and Krystle are cooing at Danny's cuteness in the nursery. Claudia, who's oddly upbeat considering the grisly news she just received in Peru, giddily says she's soooo happy to be home, and what a relief it is that the Matthew/Lindsay/death in Peru storyline is finally over. Gerard pokes his head into the nursery and tells Claudia she has a phone call, and she ambles into the hall to find the nearest phone. When she picks up, she hears a voice that sounds like Matthew's...and he's urgently saying, "We need you, Claudia! We're a family!" Claudia shrieks, "Where is Lindsay?!!" then keels over and hits the floor as she loses consciousness. Steven and Krystle come running over and are all, "Wha-a-at's going on?!!"