Recap: Blake is awakened in the middle of the night by Nanny Martha, who summons him and Rita/Krystle to the nursery asap 'cause she can't seem to do her job in getting Kristina to stop mewling. Blake wakes his wife and the two rush over to the nursery, where a hapless Martha is holding the weeping tot and insisting that the only thing that's going to quiet her down is being in her mother's arms. She hands the baby to Rita/Krystle, which only makes the baby cry harder - LOL - so Blake takes her and gives her a comforting cuddle. Blake asks Rita/Krystle if she's OK and says that even the baby has noticed that she's not quite herself lately, and Rita/Krystle breezily says it must be all the antibiotics she's been taking...'cause, yeah, that's a plausible explanation.
Alexis wakes up with her adorable Shih Tzu in bed beside her. She touches the pillow, sighs heavily, and gets up to phone Sam Dexter to see if he happens to know where Dex is - but Sam says he has absolutely no idea.
Blake remarks to Sammy Jo that Krystle has been acting very strangely lately and asks her if they've been arguing, and Sammy Jo says no and adds that she's probably just tired from the big pipeline party from three episodes ago. Blake grumbles that he doesn't think Dr. Travers is doing his wife any good, then informs Sammy Jo that he'll be at Delta Rho this afternoon to buy Krystle a white Arabian (Selina) to cheer her up. Sammy Jo's like, "No can do, Selina has been sold" ... and when Blake says he'll stop by anyway to see what else she has in stock, she tells him it's not a good idea 'cause the veterinarian is coming to examine the horses for a mystery ailment they suddenly all came down with. Blake's like, "Whatever" and says he really really wants to surprise Krystle with a brand new horse.
Over at ColbyCo, Dex asks Steven where Alexis is, so Steven tells him she's at the hospital, hovering over King Galen before he's wheeled off to the OR. Dex snarks, "And to hell with her business and her marriage", and Steven says he's been tasked with taking care of ColbyCo in her absence, but will leave the marriage for him to sort out. He then chides Dex for abandoning Alexis while she's been so preoccupied with Galen and suggests he maybe stand by her for a change, and Dex mulls that over while staring contemplatively into space.
At La Mirage, Garrett tells Dominique he'd like to talk business with her over dinner, but she haughtily touts herself as a serious business woman who prefers to not mix business with anything resembling pleasure. A dismayed Garrett and asks her why she's so determined to keep pleasure out of her life, apologizes for the way their affair ended twenty years ago, and remarks on the sadness she exudes as if something has gone very wrong in her life. Dominique bitchily says he'd be the last person she'd ever confide in...and after he exits her suite, she pulls out a photo of a young bi-racial girl - who I can only assume is hers/Garrett's love spawn - and stares wistfully into space.
Blake summons Adam to his office to snarl at him about the coalition of farmers and environmentalists who are trying to get a restraining order in order to put a stop to the Denver Carrington/ColbyCo pipeline project. He asks Adam if they have a legitimate claim, and Adam assures him that he didn't take any shortcuts with the legal work, and that surely he'll win back his trust once the pipeline goes into the construction phase. Blake just glowers at him and says he wants a progress report at every step of this new clusterfuck.
Sammy Jo warns George Hamilton that Blake is coming to Delta Rho this afternoon, but he doesn't seem worried and starts nattering about the next phase of his nefarious scheme: creating a dummy corporation. Sammy Jo's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and says she'd really really like it if Rita went a lawyer and got her father's the will changed so that she can collect the entirety of her inheritance (minus their cut) and flee Denver. George Hamilton points out that that'd cause way too many alarm bells to go off, so they're going to need to transfer the money quietly and slowly. A few seconds later, the phone rings and the call gets picked up by his faux "Dr. Travers" answering machine. Blake leaves a snarky sounding message for "the doctor" to call him back asap, and George Hamilton smiles smugly at Sammy Jo and says, "See? I've thought of everything" ... to which Sammy Jo wryly replies, "Yes, you're a fucking genius, George." [Sorry - that was me being sarcastic.]
Claudia proudly tells Blake that she just inherited the Blaisdel/Lankershim oil well now that Walter Lankershim has finally kicked the bucket, and Blake's like, "Uh, about that.." and informs her that Matthew and Walter came to him for a loan that they ended up defaulting on, which resulted in the well becoming the property of Denver Carrington. When Claudia's all, "Wha-a-a-a?! You can't dooooo that!", Blake says he can 'cause he has stockholders to answer to. Claudia gets enraged and accuses him of being to make anything illegal legal, and Blake orders her to get the hell out of his office before she starts having a bigger freakout than the relatively mild one she's having right now.
As Galen is being prepped for surgery, Prince Michael tells Alexis he finally learned the reason she helped rescue his father from Moldavia: they were in love many years ago, but were prohibited by Galen's father from marrying. Alexis confirms that that's indeed true, then clarifies that she didn't rescue Galen so much because they were once in love, but because she desperately wanted to right a wrong that had been done to him by the revolutionaries. She then changes the subject to his marriage with Amanda and says she'd really really like it if they could kiss/make up and live happily ever after.
Elsewhere in the hospital, Amanda tells Dex that Galen is about to have surgery and that Alexis has been sitting vigil at his bedside for days on end...and Dex rolls his eyes at that last thing and pissily objects to how the hospital's immediate family only rule was somehow extended to include Alexis. Amanda contorts her face into an expression of misery and moans about what a ginormous mistake she made marrying Prince Michael, and that it's clear he only married her for appearances. She whines, "Pleeeeeeease help me", but he's like, "Sorry, I have too many damn problems of my own right now. "
After Galen is wheeled to the OR, Dex urges Alexis to head back to the penthouse with him - but she says she'd prefer to hang out in the hospital's waiting room and wring her hands worriedly until she gets an update from the surgeons. She tells him to go on home without her, and Prince Michael snippily tells Amanda to go home as well...and when she offers to stay and keep him company, he snaps, "What's the point? I'll call you if I need you."
Amanda follows her tiny rude prick of a husband to the waiting room to ask whassup with his incessant bitchitude, so he reminds her that she told her father she wants a divorce and that the last thing he wants right now is her pity. Amanda insists that, despite her recent desire to divorce him, she cares for him deeply and points out that he's been shutting her out. She implores him to share what he's feeling, so he blurts out, "OMG! I don't want my father to die!" ... and she assures him that Galen will be just fine, and that he should give her a chance to be his emotional support system. He apologizes for his general assholery this season and gives her a grateful hug.
Claudia rails to Adam about how Blake declared that Denver Carrington was the owner of her newly inherited oil well, and that he's denying her her rightful inheritance purely to be a dick. Adam's like, "Well duh, I told you so" and reminds her how many years' worth of anger towards Blake he has bottled up inside. Claudia laments no longer being independently wealthy, then commits to Adam's vague plot to seize all of the Carrington wealth and power for themselves.
Krystle is once again picking at the boards that are nailed across the window when she hears George Hamilton approach...and is all, "Ack!" when she sees that he's carrying rope. She scrunches her face into an expression of horrified misery and whimpers, "No...please don't", and he replies, "Sorry, just for a little while" and creepily advances on her as she cries, "Pleeeeeease..." He forces her onto a chair and ties up her hands and feet before muzzling her with a gag.
George Hamilton arrives at Carrington manor for another "house call", and Rita squeals with delight and rushes across the room to give him a hug. He hands her a single rose and warns her that right now Blake is at Delta Rho, buying her a horse, so she should do her best to look surprised when he presents it to her as a gift. Rita makes an ew face and says she'd much prefer jewelry, then tells George Hamilton she's been slipping Blake barbiturates every night so she doesn't have to endure the grossness of putting out for the old goat. George Hamilton nods approvingly and says, "Good. I don't want to share you with anyone" and promises to keep her well supplied with sleeping pills.
Adam snarks at Steven about the restraining order that might possibly affect construction of the pipeline, and Steven tells him to chillax so they can work through the situation in as smooth a manner as possible. Adam declares that since he's a lawyer he should be in charge - but Steven argues that he's not his subordinate and that they're going to have to tackle this boring-as-fuck crisis as equals.
At the penthouse, Dex is guzzling a beer when Alexis returns home and announces that Galen made it through surgery and is in recovery. She then tries to canoodle Dex - but when he just glares at her in response, she chides his sulkiness and purrs, "I don't want to fight, I want to make love." Dex stubbornly retorts that he's not her lapdog, so Alexis chuckles over his wounded male pride, fondles his chest, and breathily coos about how badly she wants to hit the sheets with him right now. Dex's penis perks up at that prospect and he moans, "Oooh Alexis.." and mounts her atop the couch, where the two start going at it.
Over at Carrington manor, Rita and George Hamilton are going at it on the bed when Little Blake bursts into the room, stares mutely at the dry humping spectacle for several seconds, then quietly retreats. Rita's like, "Fuuuuuuck.." and says she can't keep up this charade much longer, but George Hamilton just shrugs and assures her that no one will listen to the kid, and that he considers their impersonation scheme to be a work of art. He tells Rita that her next assignment is to find out where Blake keeps his will and other family documents, then suggests that they indulge in a romp 'cause they're probably not going to get another chance for a long time.
Blake is at Delta Rho, looking over the Arabians with Sammy Jo and one of the ranch hands. Sammy Jo glances nervously at the nearby building where an imprisoned Krystle is struggling with the ropes binding her hands and feet. Eventually, she manages to free herself, then picks at the window boards some more and loosens a large screw. She stares through the peephole, is startled to realize that she's being held captive at Delta Rho, and spots Blake and Sammy Jo. She cries, "I'm in here! Blake!" ... and when it's clear he can't hear her, she starts weeping uncontrollably.
A despondent Krystle is slumped on the floor when George Hamilton returns to the attic. She angrily calls him out for lying to her about not being at Delta Rho, then says she just saw Blake buy a horse from Sammy Jo. George Hamilton confirms that that is correct, and that since a doppelganger has taken her place at Carrington manor, Blake has no idea she's even gone. He snarls, "No one is looking for you, so no one will find you. That just leaves you and me" ... and as he's saying that, he creepily caresses her face. Krystle's like, "Ew" and shoves him away from her, and he responds by getting extra grab-handsy and glaring menacingly at her.
Alexis drops by the hospital to visit Galen, who thanks her for everything she's done for him since the Moldavian Massacre. Alexis leans in and is all, "Tell me more about that thing you said about me becoming the most powerful woman in the world" so he tells her he's willing to sign off on ColbyCo being in control of the entire banking industry in Moldavia (LOL, say what?!) - but only if he's able to regain power as king. [That sounds like a big if.] Alexis mulls that over and says that mounting a counter-coup d'etat sounds like a super fun challenge.
Alexis tells Dex that she's invited Galen to move into the downstairs part of the penthouse so he can recuperate in more luxurious surroundings, and Dex says he hates the idea of having her ex-lover installed in their home and doesn't get why she's being so overly accommodating to the king. Alexis explains that he made her an exciting offer that could be worth billions - but Dex looks unimpressed, says he's through arguing about her fixation on Galen, and storms out of the penthouse.
Blake drives Rita/Krystle over to the stables and says he has a surprise for her, then asks his ranch hand bring out Selina. Rita/Krystle pretends to look delighted at the sight of the white Arabian and flatly says, "Oh...a horse", and tentatively wanders over to pet it. The horse senses her dislike of it and makes an unhappy whinnying sound, and Rita/Krystle backs off and says that the horse's weird reaction to her must somehow be related to her chronic headache. Blake gets pissy, says it's obvious that Dr. Travers is doing fuck all to make her better, and that he's determined to get to the bottom with whatever's ailing her...and as he storms back into the car, Rita/Krystle stares worriedly into space.
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Recap: The private plane carrying King Galen and his rescuers arrives in Denver to a tarmac packed with reporters. The first to deplane is Alexis - in a stunning, fur trimmed white coat ensemble - followed by Dex. Alexis tells the press that King Galen is doing great...and while that's happening, Blake and Amanda are watching the news coverage on TV at Carrington manor. Blake chuckles admiringly and tells Amanda there's nothing her tenacious mother can't do, then assures her that things will get easier with Prince Michael now that his father is safe. Amanda smiles weakly and unconvincingly agrees with her daddy that from now on things are going to be happy.
At the Delta Rho, Rita tells George Hamilton and Sammy Jo that Blake has become so concerned about her pretend headache that's been preventing her from fulfilling her wifely duties (ew), that he's insisting she see a doctor. George Hamilton perks up at that tidbit and decides 'why not cast myself in the role of Dr. Travers?' and says he can use the opportunity to get access to the mansion. Sammy Jo rolls her eyes and says she really just wants to get her inheritance money so she can get the hell outa town, but George Hamilton points out that she can't exactly transfer the entire inheritance at once 'cause it'll ring alarm bells. He then reminds both ladies that he's appointed himself the sole decision maker of this nefarious scheme and that they both need to shut up and do whatever he thinks is best.
Amanda arrives at the hospital with Blake...and when she sees Alexis hanging with Prince Michael and Dex, she cries, "Mummy!" and runs over to hug her, then hugs Dex. Prince Michael scrunches his face angrily, then thanks Dex for his courage in rescuing the king before snarking at him to stay the hell away from his wife. Dex responds by assuring him that there's nothing [at this moment] going on between him and Amanda, and storms off. A few seconds later, the doctor informs Prince Michael that his father is awake and asking to see him, and Prince Michael bitchily tells Amanda that he wants to visit with the king alone.
Prince Michael clutches his father's hand, and the two weep with joy that they were both able to make it safely to the U.S. King Galen asks his son how things are going with his hot new wife, and Prince Michael pretends that everything is A-OK and refers to her as "a wonderful wife".
Blake informs Alexis that Fallon is alive and well and starring in Dynasty's wretched spin-off show, The Colbys, and Alexis is all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" and dramatically shakes her head from side to side - LOL - as she cries, "I must go see her!" Blake cautions against that and explains that Fallon is suffering from amnesia and has no idea who she or anyone in her family is, and that the doctors warn that she's so fragile she might go over the edge if anyone tries to push her too hard. Alexis agrees to keep her distance and focus on the problems of her other daughter: Amanda and her shitty marriage.
George Hamilton brings Krystle a tray of food and admonishes her for not eating the previous meal he brought for her. Krystle notices the fancy suit he's wearing and asks him where's going all dressed up...and he tells her he's making a house call, wishes her bon appetite, then stares at her all weird and spacey before exiting the attic.
George Hamilton arrives at Carrington manor and introduces himself to the staff as Dr. Travers. Rita/Krystle greets him and pretends as though they're meeting for the first time, and then the two head upstairs for her fake appointment.
Dominique complains to Blake that someone in Los Angeles has been buying up lots of stock in her record company, and Blake assumes it's Charlton Heston and that he's doing it to drive a wedge between them. Sounds like a boring use of his time and resources, but OK. As Dominique heads out, she runs into Adam, who tells her he's working on a dossier on Garrett Boydston and would appreciate any intel she's able to share. Dominique haughtily retorts, "I'm not in the dossier business" and says he'll have to find his spy elsewhere...and Adam's like, "Er, OK..?" and asks if she's being so weird about this 'cause she heard about Blake disinheriting him. Dominique assures him that her nonsensical bitchitude has absolutely nothing to do with that, then explains that she knew Garrett a long time ago, but considers him a closed book which she has no desire to "reread".
Claudia is playing on the piano with Danny when Sammy Jo enters the room looking peeved. As Danny and his nanny exit the scene for an off camera treat, Sammy Jo warns Claudia not to get too close to her son...and Claudia snaps back that she became close to the tot while she (Sammy Jo) was too busy bumming around New York to do any parenting. Sammy Jo bitchily declares that since she's no longer Steven's wife she has no business being at Carrington manor anymore, and Claudia says that since she's now Adam's wife, she has every right. Sammy Jo tells her to shove it with her "airs", says that a wedding band doesn't mean much around here, and smugly adds, "You're still a nobody." Claudia chuckles about the richness of that remark coming from a gold digging hussy such as herself, and Sammy Jo's like, "Whatever" and decides that among the two of them she's "the winner" 'cause she's now a rich person with her own power, and doesn't have to live on others' handouts. Claudia somehow refrains from pointing out that she's only rich 'cause of an inheritance she got from her late bio dad (who she knew for about five minutes), and that he put Krystle in charge of disbursing it 'cause he assumed that, left to her own devices, his idiot spawn would stupidly squander the cash.
George Hamilton admires the priceless artwork hanging in the master bedroom and tells Rita that this mansion is a gold mine, and far more valuable than Sammy Jo's piddly inheritance. Rita says that her biggest concern these days is how to avoid getting boned by Blake, and points out that she can't keep pretending to have the same headache every night. George Hamilton replies, "Maybe you should sleep with him" and an insulted Rita's all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" and cries, "I thaaght you luhved me!" George Hamilton swiftly backtracks and pretends to agree that it's far too risky for her to bump uglines with Blake, and coos about how he really truly wants her all to himself. As the two get into some intense smooching action, Little Blake enters the room and looks aghast at the amorous spectacle...and Rita/Krystle explains that she was giving her pretend doctor a kiss 'cause it's his birthday. Little Blake looks doubtful and flees the room, and Rita tells George Hamilton she's worried he's going to tell someone he saw them kissing...and he ominously orders her to see to it that he doesn't.
Alexis drops by Adam's office to sign some papers for the pipeline deal and express her worry about the growing friction between him and Steven now that he's married to Claudia. She then congratulates him and wishes him good luck in making the marriage work, and Adam shoots her a grateful grin.
Later, Adam runs into Steven at Carrington manor and says he's bugged he hasn't yet received his congratulations on his new marriage. Steven says he doesn't give enough of a rat's ass about the marriage to approve or disapprove of it, so Adam taunts him about the way he abandoned Claudia when he ran off with Luke, then smugly adds, "At least now Claudia has a real man in her bed." Steven says that whatever they do in the sack is their business and that he'd prefer not to know anything about it, then pissily tells Adam to pass along his condolences to his new wife.
A giddy Claudia rushes into Adam's office and tells him she just learned she inherited the Blaisdel-Lankershim oil well. She gushes about how DE-lighted she is to no longer be treated like a poor person now that she considers herself an equal to the Carringtons, and informs Adam that she's willing to move back into the mansion. Adam beams happily and coos about how all of their dreams are all coming true.
The doctor tells Alexis and Prince Michael there's a chance that King Galen's paralysis might not be permanent, and that a risky surgery might possibly help him walk again. After he exits the room, Prince Michael thanks Alexis for rescuing his father and getting him the world's best medical care, and she says she mostly did it so that he and Amanda could be happy again. When Prince Michael says he's more than a little doubtful 'bout that, Alexis urges him to give his wife time and assures him that one day soon they'll be very happy together.
Claudia and Adam arrive at Carrington manor so she can make her grand reentrance as his new wife...and a few seconds later, the two run into a sulky-faced Steven. Adam needles him about congratulating the newest Mrs. Carrington, and Steven just mumbles that he's surprised she'd actually want to move back into this shitty mansion considering how much she seems to hate it [and Blake].
During a catered lunch at ColbyCo, Alexis urges Amanda to work things out with her tiny prince and not throw away a relationship before really giving it a chance. Amanda looks unreceptive to the advice and starts whining about how Alexis didn't accept her as her daughter until she was well into adulthood, and was pretty much forced into it. Alexis snaps that she's getting tired of her "poor little me" act, and dramatically shakes her head from side to side as she points out that while she was exiled and poor, she shelled out cash for all of Amanda's lessons and various expenses. She pronounces, "That was my kind of mother love" and tells Amanda to get her act together or risk losing her royal husband.
After some more smooching, George Hamilton tells Rita that if it makes her feel better, she should continue pretending to Blake that she's too under the weather to have sex. He then hands her a bottle of barbiturates to slip to Blake in the event that he gets amorous...which, ew. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room and is introduced to "Dr. Travers", who tells him that Rita/Krystle has a low grade infection and needs lots of rest. When Rita/Krystle exits the room to go talk to Mrs. Gunnerson, Dr. Travers tells Blake that, contrary to what he just said three seconds ago, his wife really doesn't need that much bed rest. He then offers to give Blake a physical if he ever needs one or wants a second opinion about anything, and Blake's like, "Sounds good, doctor."
Little Blake asks Steven if Krystle is mad at Blake...and Steven scrunches his face confusedly and says that to his knowledge, she still loves the old goat very much. Rita/Krystle suddenly appears in the doorway and tells Little Blake that Mrs. Gunnerson just made him a milkshake, and he reacts to that news by giving her an ack! look and fleeing the room. LOL. Steven asks if anything's wrong with the kid, and Rita/Krystle says she's noticed that he's been telling lots of fibs lately and hopes it's just a phase.
Alexis is being interviewed by World Finance reporter Gordon Wales, who peppers her with questions about her role in King Galen's rescue and whether or not it has anything to do with their previous romance. Alexis says she's a happily married woman, that her relationship with Galen is none of his business, and to get the hell out of her office.
Over in the Delta Rho attic, Krystle is making a weak attempt to pry off the boards that are nailed across the window. She stops when she hears someone coming...and a few seconds later, George Hamilton enters the room. He nods approvingly when he sees that she ate her dinner...and when she implores him to tell her the details about her ransom, he says that the less she knows 'bout that, the better. Krystle thanks him for the books he brought for her and says she could really use another reading lamp, and also wouldn't mind a television set. George Hamilton snarls, "You think you're so damn smart" and assumes she wants to watch the news to find out what's being reported about her disappearance. He warns her that there's no escape from this attic, but promises to consider bringing a TV next time he makes one of his creepy visits...and once he's out of earshot, Krystle continues to try loosening the window boards.
Blake tells Rita/Krystle that he really liked Dr. Travers, then gives her a big smooch before excusing himself to use the bathroom. Rita grabs the bottle of barbiturates and accidentally spills them all over the carpet, and is picking them up when Blake reenters the room and helps her with the task...and while he's not looking, she manages to slip a barbiturate into his nightcap. As the two climb into bed, Rita/Krystle looks alarmed when an aroused (ew) Blake starts caressing her arm, then relieved when his hand and penis suddenly go limp.
Alexis is, for some reason, decked out in funeral attire while she sits in the hospital waiting room, smoking. Dex enters the room and suggests they head home together - but she declines and tells him she wants to get the latest update on Galen's condition. Dex gets irked and says he's tired of playing second fiddle to Galen, and Alexis half-heartedly assures Dex that she loves him and that she'd really like it if he supported her like a husband should. Dex replies that he can't support her love for another man - just as a nurse pops in and tells Alexis that Galen is awake and is asking for her. A dismayed Dex tells Alexis that he's frightened for their marriage, and Alexis is all, "Yeah, whatever. I'll see you later." LOL.
King Galen clutches Alexis's hand and says that while he was imprisoned in Moldavia he was soooo afraid of never seeing her again. He curses the revolution and says if he were still king, he would have implored her to stay with him after the royal wedding. He then says he's willing to have the risky surgery in the hope that it'll relieve his paralysis so he can 1) get his country back, and 2) make her the most powerful woman in the world. Alexis perks up at that second thing...but when she asks him exactly what he means by that, his head flops against his pillow as he passes out. Alexis breathily repeats, "The most powerful woman in the world. How?" and looks intrigued by the notion while staring contemplatively into space.
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Recap: When a discombobulated Jeff reenters the mansion after swearing he saw Fallon from the upstairs window, Blake steers him to a private room and tells him to get a hold of his damn self and stop insisting that Fallon is still alive. Jeff says he's absolutely certain he saw Fallon in the company of a man he unfortunately didn't get a good look at and now wants to jump into his car and race after them, but Blake points out that he has no idea where that red car drove off to. Jeff mulls that over, reluctantly concurs, then stares mournfully into space and says he can't belieeeeeeve that Fallon was just here, and that he lost track of her yet again.
Miles tells a tearful Fallon to take it easy with her sudden panic attack, and assures her that they never have to go back to the Carrington mansion since it clearly causes her so much distress. Fallon wails, "What's wrooooong with me? Why can't I remember anything?" and says she's worried she may be losing her mind. Miles pulls the car over, quizzes her on his name, today's date, and their current location...and when she's able to answer everything correctly, he tells her it's proof that her brain hasn't gone completely wiener. He then says it's totes fine with him if she can't recall her past 'cause he's A-OK with them creating new memories...and when she looks as if she might be open to that prospect, he leans in for a smooch.
Duchess Elena surreptitiously drops by the convent to tell Alexis (who's still disguised as a nun) that she doesn't have any updates about Dex's predicament, and that all they can do is helplessly wait for any new developments. Alexis says she'd like her to arrange a meeting with one of the high-ranking revolutionaries, but Elena gasps and warns that that would be far too dangerous. Alexis wryly says she's used to dealing with dangerous men, then irritably wonders aloud if she should even be trusting her...and Elena reminds her that she periodically drops by the convent despite the great danger, even after she (Alexis) bought Prince Michael so that her spoiled daughter could marry into royalty. Alexis denies buying the pissy prince and insists that it was a marriage based on love, and Elena's all, "Whatever" and angrily storms out of the room.
Amanda is in one of the mansion's sitting rooms, despondently staring at a giant globe when Prince Michael enters and asks her if she'd like to join him to see off the guests. She declines and says she's pretty sure the guests know where the door is, so he ambles over to where she's standing and tells her he understands that she's concerned about her mother (though mostly Dex), but would like it if she reengaged herself in their marriage so they can both stop pissing each other off. He professes his love for her, but she just shrugs disinterestedly and says she's come to the undeniable realization that they're ass-backwards wrong for each other and doesn't think things can ever work out. She tells him she's already informed Blake that she wants a divorce...and when a shocked Prince Michael's all, "Wha-a-a-a?", she says the only reason she hasn't moved ahead with filing the papers is 'cause Blake told her to hold off while he experiments with giving him (Prince Michael) something to occupy his time: becoming the new La Mirage overlord.
Blake pulls Rita/Krystle aside and says he's worried that Jeff is headed for a nervous breakdown after his Fallon sighting and would appreciate it if she could talk some sense into him about getting over his ex-wife/late fiancee and moving on with his life. Rita/Krystle looks alarmed at the prospect and says she'd much prefer it if Jeff sorted through his own personal problems - but Blake says he'd really really appreciate it if she interjected herself into the situation and at least had a conversation with him.
George Hamilton unties Krystle and rips off the tape he placed over her mouth and says he's sorry for restraining her, but not really 'cause she deserved it after getting so out of control. Krystle tearfully says that before she was abducted she remembers she was at Delta Rho, saw her doppelganger, and then got hit over the head - but George Hamilton's like, "No, no.." and tries to convince her she fell, accidentally hit her head, and is now being held by him for ransom far far away from Delta Rho. Krystle's like, "Dude, that version of events makes zero sense" [oh sorry...that was me, projecting], then tells him he won't get away with committing this kidnapping without paying. George Hamilton gets a strange, faraway look in his eyes and replies, "How wrong you are. Blake will pay", which prompts Krystle to stare concernedly into space.
While on the road, Miles and Fallon stop at a restaurant to get a bite to eat. She apologizes for having such an overly dramatic reaction to being outside Carrington manor and preventing him from attending the party, then says that he deserves better than to be hanging out with a loose canon who has amnesia. She adds that there was something about being in Denver that gave her her the heebie jeebies and that she wants to return to Los Angeles asap 'cause she's more than ready to move forward and throw in the towel on trying to figure out her identity.
Jeff insists to Rita/Krystle that he saw Fallon this evening, and she just stares back at him with mute cluelessness.
As the party begins to wind down, Garrett offers to give Dominique a lift to the La Mirage, but she declines...and also declines to meet up with him at the hotel bar to catch up. She tells him it's too late to revive their twenty year old affair, firmly says, "Goodnight and goodbye", and flounces up the stairs.
A mopish Amanda is sitting in her bedroom, staring at her reflection in a small mirror when Dominique pops in to say goodnight. When she notices Amanda's sour expression and asks whassup, Amanda replies, "Nothing that a divorce won't cure." Dominique's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and urges her to stick it out with her tiny prince and try to work things out - but Amanda tells her that the fairy tale/princess wedding/happily ever after storyline that the writers forcibly squeezed into the final few episodes of Season 5 before unleashing a massacre on much of the cast was, in hindsight, a huge mistake...and that she somehow thought she could be happy with a man she foolishly rushed headfirst into an ill-thought-out marriage with. Dominique reminds her that just a couple of months ago she had vowed to love Prince Michael forever, then says when one finds love, one must cherish and nurture it 'cause if it's lost it may never be found again. She adds, "And I really know what I'm talking about" while staring contemplatively into space...and Amanda refrains from turning the conversation back to her dysfunctional marriage and insisting that she's more than ready to kick her shitty little husband to the curb.
A Moldavian guard unchains Dex from the wall of his dungeon cell, where it looks as though he's been repeatedly fake tortured, and snidely says to let him know whenever he's ready to talk. When the remaining guard lights up a cigarette, Dex weakly moans, "Cigarette..?" and the guard decides 'what could be the harm in giving this half-dead man a cigarette?' and leans down to hand his smoke to Dex, who has an unexpected burst of energy and kicks the guard onto the ground before knocking him unconscious. He quickly changes into the guard's uniform, grabs his gun, and flees the dungeon cell. He spots two guards in the corridor and overhears one tell the other, "Make sure no one gets in or out." He waits until one of the guards is alone before he knocks him unconscious and drags him into a nearby dungeon cell, where he just happens to stumble upon King Galen, who's laying on a cot and moaning unintelligibly. Dex pokes at him and is all, "Yo Galen, let's get outa here!", but Galen says his legs don't work and urges Dex to run off and save himself - but Dex is like 'I didn't risk my life to leave Moldavia empty handed' and picks Galen up, flings him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and flees the cell.
Back at Carrington manor, Sammy Jo is noshing on leftovers when she runs into Steven, who scowls at her and demands to know why she's been buzzing around Krystle so much lately instead of spending quality time with their son. He adds that he finds it so puzzling and unusual that he's going to spare no effort in getting to the bottom of it...and as he bitchily storms off, Sammy Jo stares after him worriedly.
Sammy Jo tells Rita that Steven is starting to get suspicious about the two of them suddenly behaving like they're besties, and that she'd like to get access to her inheritance so they can end this ridiculous Krystle/doppelganger charade asap. Rita says that she, on the other hand, is far more concerned about having to hit the sack with Blake and risking him figuring out that she's not his "beloved Krystle" - just as Little Blake appears in the doorway and stares at her suspiciously. Rita shoots him a phoney smile and offers to tuck him in, but he's like, "Ack!" and runs off down the hall...and Rita rolls her eyes and tells Sammy Jo that the bowl-shaped hairdo kid gives her the creeps. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room to praise her for doing such an excellent job charming the Colbys. He remarks that she looks like she's feeling a lot better and that it's time for bed (ew), and Rita/Krystle shoots Sammy Jo a fuuuuuuuck look which I translated to mean that sooner or later she's going to have to endure the ordeal of getting bedded by the old goat, so it may as well be tonight.
Claudia is penning her resignation letter from La Mirage when Prince Michael enters the office. He looks taken aback when she presents him with the letter and says he'd really really like it if she stayed on as Executive Vice President. Claudia's like, "Nope" and says she's sick of working for Blake, who has a dickish tendency to screw people over once they've fallen out of favor.
Dominique returns to her La Mirage suite to find Garrett sitting on a sofa chair, sipping a glass of champagne. She glares at him and says she hates surprises and asks him to leave, but he refuses and tells her they have too much bottled up from the last twenty years to just go their separate ways. They bicker about their boring affair...blah blah...until he leans in and gives her a big smooch - and she sort of looks into it for a few seconds, but then pushes him away and threatens to call security. Garrett takes the receiver out of her hand and hangs it up, apologizes for bothering her, then heads toward the door while mumbling, "You probably haven't thought about me in twenty years." Once he's safely out of earshot, Dominique wistfully replies, "Oh, if only you knew" then places a call to a finishing school in Switzerland and asks to speak to the head mistress...and I can only assume that this is the genesis of yet another 'secretly birthed baby many years ago' storyline.
Dex is somehow able to carry King Galen out of the prison, off the palace grounds, and unseen across the countryside to the convent that Alexis has been hiding out in. LOL. He's greeted by his overjoyed wife, and gazes at her lovingly and schmaltzily says he didn't know if he'd ever be able to look into her beautiful eyes again. As the two urgently smooch, King Galen moans in distress...and Alexis breaks away from Dex and hovers over him concernedly as Dex clucks sympathetically and says he clearly hasn't received any medical attention since the massacre. Alexis wails, "We have to get him to a doctor!", but Dex says there's no time - no time! - 'cause they really need to get him out of his horrible country pronto.
Dex (disguised as a monk) and Alexis (still disguised as a nun) load up King Galen in the back of the jeep, cover him with a blanket, and drive to the border checkpoint. When the guard on duty asks for papers, Dex hands him his fake ID and says he's off to get medical supplies for the brave revolutionaries - but a few seconds later, another guard marches over, rips off Dex's monk hood and yells, "It's the American!" Dex responds by hitting the gas, squealing past the checkpoint, and crashing through the flimsy parkade style gate...and the guards scramble to aim their rifles and fire on the jeep, but they're unable to get a clear shot and quickly give up. Hurray!
Jeff continues to mope about his Fallon sighting...but while flashing back to it, he somehow recalls that the car she climbed into had a California license plate on it. Jeff perks up at that revelation and mutters, "Miles..?" and wonders aloud if the man she was with last night could possibly have been Miles Colby.
Miles and Fallon check into a cheap motel with only one room available...and that has only one bed. Mmm hmm.. Miles gazes at her longingly and says he won't push her into anything sexual, but that if she's interested he'd really really like for them to be knocking boots. Fallon blushingly admits that she's been tempted to hit the sheets with him on more than one occasion, but stopped herself 'cause she was afraid of getting involved...but suddenly no longer feels afraid. Miles takes this as permission to proceed with some much awaited foreplay and plants her lips with a giant smooch.
Jeff tells Rita/Krystle that he's jetting to Californa asap and leaving Little Blake in her care...and Little Blake is all, "Nooooo! Don't leave me with this strange doppelganger!" Jeff chalks up his son's horrified reaction to tiredness, and Rita/Krystle grins and assures Jeff that the tot will be just fine during his absence.
When Adam returns to La Mirage, Claudia chides him for not storming out of the party with her following her argument with Blake, so he explains that it was important for him to schmooze with the other partygoers in order to protect their business interests. Claudia mulls that over, decides she accepts that excuse, and gives him a long kissy hug.
When Rita/Krystle finally enters the bedroom, Blake says he's been waiting for a loooong time for her to finally come to bed...so she explains that she was talking to Jeff, who has decided to move to California after all. Blake smiles with delight and calls her "a miracle worker" and gives her a long kiss - but she pulls away and says her headache has suddenly resurfaced. A miffed looking Blake theorizes that Sammy Jo's presence in the mansion is probably what's causing her stress headache, and Rita/Krystle admonishes him for disparaging her only living blood relative. Blake says that if she keeps using a headache as an excuse to avoid her wifely duties she's going to have to see a doctor, and Rita/Krystle bitchily tells him to stop harping on her damn headache and shuts off the light.
A desperate Krystle dismantles a lamp and uses the sharp end of it to try to pick the lock of the attic door, but doesn't have any luck. She then looks over at a boarded up window and cries, "God help me!" as she struggles with pulling the boards off.
Blake finds Jeff milling around the mansion at 4am and asks him what he's doing up at this hour, and Jeff says he's planning to catch the first flight to Los Angeles to continue his search for Fallon 'cause he's newly convinced that she somehow hooked up with Miles Colby. Blake says he remains skeptical about all of this and doesn't believe that Fallon would have fled from the mansion - but Jeff insists that he found Fallon tonight, and that when he finally tracks her down, he's never letting her out of his sight again.
Meanwhile, at the Super 8 Motel, Fallon and Miles are entwined in each other's arms, urgently getting it on.
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Recap: George Hamilton carries an unconscious Krystle up to the Delta Rho attic, places her atop a mattress, and orders Rita to swap clothes with her. As Rita twitches nervously at the sudden change in their nefarious plan, Sammy Jo reminds George Hamilton that Rita was supposed to have another week to psych herself up before having to impersonate Krystle...and he responds by quizzing Rita on the names of the servants and the fine art hanging at Carrington manor. When she answers his questions well enough, he says he's exiting the room now so that she can change into unconscious Krystle's outfit and slip into her life.
Blake is on the phone with Charlton Heston, and both men seem delighted about the new partnership. Blake insists that he be the one to make the formal announcement about the pipeline at a big shindig he'll host in Denver...and Charlton Heston makes it clear that while he isn't pleased about not being able to do that on his own territory, he's willing to easily give in and fly his brood to Colorado for the event. After the call, Barbara Stanwyck chides her brother for putting himself through the strain of such a big trip and advises him to instead spend his dying days seeing doctors and getting more tests done. He points out that everyone dies eventually, and that the pipeline project is waaaay more important than his mortality...and adds that working on something new and exciting makes him feel most alive. When Barbara Stanwyck tears up, he tells her not to be sad and just let him enjoy whatever time he has left.
Blake calls Alexis to invite her to the shindig, but she declines and says she has a previous engagement she can't break. When Dex enters her office, overhears the tail end of the conversation and asks whassup with her declining Blake's invitation, she explains that the shindig conflicts with their impending rescue mission in Moldavia. Dex offers to perform the rescue alone, but she refuses to be left behind and promises to keep mum about their plans.
Over in Los Angeles, Miles is trying to get a hold of Fallon, and gets alarmed when he learns that she checked out of her hotel. A few seconds later, his twin sister Monica enters the room and informs him that their father expects them both in attendance at a big Denver party - but Miles shakes his head and says he has far more important things to do. Monica rolls her eyes and asks, "That girl again?", and Miles says that if by that girl she means the hot looking woman he's been helping out of the kindness of his heart and who can't remember who she is or where she came from, then yes. Monica asks him if he's absolutely sure that her amnesia isn't some sort of scam, and he insists it's real and that he really really wants this budding friendship to blossom into a full on romance. Monica says she understands and will do her best to explain to their father why he's not at the Denver party, then warns him that it might be tough for him to get out of 'cause for some reason it seemed to be extremely important to him that the entire family be in attendance.
Blake tells Jeff that he convinced Charlton Heston to agree to have the pipeline project announcement party in Denver, then says he'd like to do something to memorialize Fallon...specifically donate $1 million to the local hospital so they can build a new paediatrics wing and name it after her. Jeff scrunches his face disapprovingly and says he hates the idea, just as he hates the way everyone assumes that Fallon is dead and gone. He makes it clear that he's still not convinced she's dead, then angrily storms out of the room.
Fallon is about to board a Phoenix-bound bus when Miles rushes over and tells her he had a hunch she'd try to flee Los Angeles without so much as a goodbye. He implores her to not leave, then invites her to come to a party in Denver with him and proposes he drive them there in his fancy Italian sports car. Fallon and says she couldn't possibly accept his offer, and reminds him for the umpteenth time that she has no idea who she is (a criminal possibly?) - but Miles insists that he really really likes helping her and that being with her makes him feel good, and that he has nothing better to do than drive her to Phoenix if she truly has her heart set on going there.
Over at Delta Rho, Sammy Jo is complaining about how badly botched Operation Swap Krystle for Rita has become, then worriedly wrings her hands about Krystle getting injured after being karate chopped on the back of her head. George Hamilton tells her to chillax, assures her that Krystle has nothing more than a bump on the head, and insists that Rita get over to Carrington manor asap so she can start pretending to be Mrs. Blake Carrington.
Up in the Delta Rho attic, a bound and blindfolded Krystle wakes up and moans, "Oh God, what is happening?!" She senses someone in the room with her and cries, "Who's there?", and George Hamilton tells her she had an accident, and that she shouldn't waste her time struggling against the ropes 'cause escape is futile. She asks him if she can have some water, so he briefly exits the room to bring her a little styrofoam cup filled with water...and when he returns and unties her hands, she removes her blindfold, stares at him in shock and exclaims, "You..?!" and says she recalls seeing him in Sammy Jo's building and later in downtown Denver. An alarmed George Hamilton tells her she should not have removed her blindfold, then glares at her as he ominously adds, "That was a mistake. A big mistake."
Jeff tells Blake he just got an improbable tip that a bus station clerk in Los Angeles spotted Fallon buying a ticket for Phoenix, and asks for permission to borrow the company jet so he can fly to Arizona and launch yet another Fallon search. Blake says he remains skeptical that his daughter is alive, and reminds Jeff that Fallon's jewelry was found in the wreckage of the plane most everyone assumes she was on when it crashed. Jeff says believes she's still alive and insists on keeping his never ending searches going, and Blake gives him permission to use the jet and offers to accompany him to Phoenix.
As Rita and Sammy Jo arrive at Carrington manor, Gerard informs Rita/Krystle that Blake has jetted off to Phoenix for the day, but will be home later. She's like, "Uh, thank you" and Sammy Jo adds, "Thank you Gerard." A few seconds later, Mrs. Gunnerson rushes over to tell Rita/Krystle that Blake is throwing a giant party next week for two hundred guests and they have to make a firm decision on the decadent type of rich people food that they'll be serving. When she lists a few fancy sounding options, Rita/Krystle stares back at her cluelessly, and Sammy Jo snappishly interjects that says they don't have time for that right now 'cause they're on their way up to the nursery to visit Danny. She then tells Rita that she's inviting herself to stay for dinner 'cause in order to get through the evening without a hitch, she's going to need all the help she can get.
Over at the Colby estate in Los Angeles, we get a lot of gratuitous footage of [Charlton Heston's wife] Sable rubbing lotion on her shapely legs before reaching for an expensive looking necklace as the camera slowly pans up to her face and reveals that it's the same actress who later plays Dylan's mom on Beverly Hills, 90210. She asks her husband why he caved to Blake and agreed to fly the family out to Denver for the party, so he explains that he really didn't feel like getting into a needless pissing match with Blake about it. He tells her he expects Miles to attend the party and take his "proper place" within the family firm despite his general doltishness when it comes to matters of business, then tells Sable he expects her to look especially hot on party night. She grins and purrs, "That's what I'm paid for" - yeesh - and the two start tonguing each other when their youngest daughter Bliss (yes, these two named their child Bliss), a pouty looking young blonde, enters the room. She's all, "Ick!" at the sight of their foreplay and informs them that she's off to Utah to go on a whitewater rafting adventure with friends. Charlton Heston's like, "Uh, no you're not, 'cause we're all going to a party in Denver to celebrate the new pipeline." Bliss argues that since she has philosophical problems with the pipeline project she shouldn't have to attend the grand announcement, but Charlton Heston makes it clear that her attendance will be required. Bliss poutishly argues that Miles isn't planning to attend and tattles that he just blew out of town with his new gal pal, and Charlton Heston assures her that Miles will be at the party and barks, "End of discussion."
Amanda arrives at the penthouse and tells Dex she just heard that he and Alexis declined Blake's party invitation, and he nods and says they both have more important things to do that night. Amanda's all, "But it's the social event of the season!", then gasps and correctly guesses they won't be attending 'cause they'll be too busy sneaking into Moldavia to attempt a rescue of Galen. Dex admits that, yep, that's the plan all right, then swears her to secrecy. Amanda moans, "It could get you killed" then presses herself against him concernedly - just as Prince Michael enters the room and witnesses the tender moment. He sarcastically asks his wife if anything is wrong, and she sheepishly says no and trails behind him out of the room...and as she's doing that, she turns around to shoot one last longing stare at Dex.
Sammy Jo urges Rita to try on some of Krystle's favorite outfits, and Rita suddenly scrunches her face worriedly and asks if she's actually going to be able to pull this off...and by pull this off, she means fool old goat daddy in bed. Sammy Jo grins devilishly at that disturbing visual and gives Rita some woefully outdated sex advice: "It's like dancing. You don't lead, you follow."
While en route to Phoenix, Blake urges Jeff to stop this fool's errand and focus on starting a new life in California. Jeff tearfully apologizes to Blake for repeatedly putting him through this anguish, and says he's reluctantly coming to terms with the reality that he no longer has a life in Denver and is totally ready to move to Los Angeles and start fresh.
Sable is taking a sexy bubble bath when she decides to pick up the phone to call [her cousin] Alexis, who's in the middle of getting a massage. Sable asks her if the entire Carrington clan is going to be at Blake's party, e.g. Amanda and the prince...and Alexis wryly retorts, "He's a king, technically" and says that she won't be able to make it 'cause of a prior engagement. After the call, Sable climbs out of the tub, gets leered at by Charlton Heston, and drops her towel so the two can indulge in some steamy, middle-aged marital sex.
Over at Carrington manor, Rita/Krystle and Sammy Jo greet Amanda and Prince Michael for pre-dinner drinks. Rita/Krystle compliments Amanda's suit and pretty necklace, and Amanda gives her a funny look and reminds her that she and Blake bought the necklace for her as a wedding gift. Steven enters the room, looks miffed by the sight of Sammy Jo, and orders her to leave the mansion this minute. Rita/Krystle points out that she's Danny's bio mom and also an invited guest, and would like everyone to treat everyone well in this house. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room, gives Rita/Krystle a kiss, and accepts her offer to fix him a drink.
Back inside the Delta Rho attic, Krystle is uselessly banging on the attic door while crying helplessly.
Blake tells Rita/Krystle he wants the party to be a great success so he can impress the Colby clan. Rita/Krystle twitches nervously at the prospect of getting through the social engagement without anyone figuring out she's an imposter and says she'd like to invite Sammy Jo to stay at the mansion indefinitely. Blake says he's not thrilled with the idea and points out that it's really going to piss Steven off - but when Rita/Krystle says it's very very important to her, Blake easily caves and quips about how she has him wrapped around her little finger. He then remarks that she's been acting kinda weird tonight, and she explains that she's feeling off tonight 'cause she has a splitting headache.
George Hamilton enters the attic and chides Krystle for not eating her dinner. She begs him to let her go, but he says he can't do that and urges her to at least drink her milk...then gets a strange look on his darkly tanned face as he tells her his mother used to say that nothing was more nourishing than milk. A weirded out Krystle asks him who her doppelganger is and if she's being held here for ransom, but he pretends to have no idea what she's talking about, hands her a black shawl to wear, and spacily assures her that everything will seem a lot brighter in the morning.
Dex and Alexis are on a plane, en route to Moldavia. As he obsessively cleans his handgun, Alexis remarks on how she's feeling an emotion she doesn't usually experience: fear. Dex says he's going to take the opportunity of them facing possible death to get the truth out of her, then pointedly asks her if she's still in love with Galen. Alexis rolls her eyes and moans, "Oh God.." and insists that he (Dex) is the only man she loves. She then saucily suggests they enjoy the free time they have left, and strips off her clothes so they can indulge in a mile high romp.
Prince Michael informs Amanda that he'd like to spend the afternoon with her getting reacquainted. Amanda's like, "I've been saying for weeks we need to do that", and he perks up at that and says he wants to feel close to her again, then leans towards her for a kiss. She shoves him away and says she isn't able to explain what's currently troubling her...and Prince Michael assumes she's hung up on Dex, then roughly pushes her atop the bed to make clear that he's totes up for the kind of forcible marital sex that the Dynasty writers seemed to like defaulting to whenever a warring couple engages in a fierce argument. When she yells, "Nooooo!! Not like this!!", he bellows, "You are my wife!" - but she's able to easily push the tiny prince off of her and flee the room.
Jeff tattles to Blake about how Adam didn't actually go to the San Francisco refinery to check on a problem - just as Amanda enters the office to request a one-on-one with her father. Once Jeff is out of earshot, she tells Blake she can't stand being married to Prince Michael for another minute and would like to file for divorce asap. Blake scrunches his wrinkly face disapprovingly and says he wasn't thrilled about her jumping into marriage with a guy she barely knew, and is even less thrilled about her getting a quickie divorce. She explains that she's tried her hardest to make the marriage work - but is ready to throw in the towel, given that he continually treats her like garbage. Blake ignores that last thing and urges her to hold off on making any divorce plans 'cause he suddenly got a brilliant idea.
Miles and Fallon have stopped for gas when Monica calls Miles' car phone to inform him that their father has sternly decreed that, upon pain of death, the entire family must be at the all-important Denver party. Miles gives in and promises his sister he'll make an appearance with his lady friend, and Monica squeals happily and says she's soooooo excited to meet the mystery woman.
Dex, Sister Theresa, and Alexis (who's disguised as a nun) are speeding by jeep towards the Moldavian border. They go over their cover story one last time - the two nuns needed a ride to their convent in Dex's jeep (which seems like a ridiculously flimsy cover story, but OK) - as they arrive at the checkpoint. The armed soldiers look them over suspiciously, confer with each other for a few seconds, then demand that Dex get out of the jeep. A soldier then jumps into the driver's seat and tells the nuns he'll transport them to the convent, and Alexis stares worriedly at the now detained Dex.
Dex is hauled into the office of Moldavia's Interior Minister, who demands to know why he was sneaking across the border. Dex tells him some nonsense about wanting to discuss trade agreements - but the Minister doesn't buy it, demands to know who he's working for, and threatens to burn him with his cigar. Dex yells, "Nooooo!!" as he struggles with the guards restraining him, and the Minister says he's ordering him to be locked away in a dungeon cell until such time as he's ready to tell the truth.
Adam and Claudia return to the La Mirage for the first time since marrying and do the annoying TV tropey thing of lovingly calling each other Mr. and Mrs. Carrington. Adam demands that she profess how much she looooves him 'cause of how much he looooves her, and she assures him that she looooves him with all her heart and then some. He nods approvingly and tells her to pack up her bags and move [back] into Carrington manor while he heads over to Denver Carrington to inform Blake about their quickie wedding.
In the next scene, Blake is glaring at Adam and calling him out on his lie about checking on a refinery, and snarks that the only reason he travelled to San Francisco was to be with Claudia after promising to stay away from her. He snaps, "I don't tolerate lies from anyone. Is that understood?" then informs Adam that he went to the trouble of rewriting his will and left him an inheritance of one dollar until he proves he can be trusted. Adam's all, "The fuck?" and accuses Blake of manipulating his own family members with money, and Blake says he's in no position to accuse him of anything, given that he just betrayed his trust. Adam says he has no intention of grovelling just to be re-included in the will and storms out of the office.
Prince Michael informs Claudia that Blake has just appointed him Chairman of La Mirage and adds that he's sure that they'll work really well together. As she stares at him incredulously, he dismisses her from his orbit so he can return to his task of looking over the hotel's bookings and financial records.
Jeff and Little Blake enter the sitting room Rita/Krystle is lounging in. Jeff tells her he's planning on leaving his son behind in Denver while he goes to California to get settled. She makes a face and says the kid would be better off going with him...and when Jeff gives her a funny look in response, she hastily explains that she only said that 'cause he's such a great dad. Jeff says he's confident that he's leaving his son in good hands, and she pretends to not have a problem with the bowl-shaped hairdo kid being forcibly dumped on her.
In the Moldavian convent, Sister Theresa tells Alexis that the loyalists hope to restore the country's monarchy soon - just as Duchess Elena breezes into the room. When a confused Alexis asks what in blazes that traitor is doing here, Sister Theresa explains that she's a friend to the loyalists' movement and is here at great risk to her personal safety. Elena explains to Alexis that she had no idea at the time of the massacre that her father was behind the revolution, and is now doing everything she can to save King Galen, who's being kept prisoner by Yuri. Alexis asks her if she knows whether or not Dex is alive, and Elena comfortingly holds Alexis's hand and tell her she has no idea.
Prince Michael greets the Colby clan when they and their mountain of luggage arrive at La Mirage. Charlton Heston introduces his brood to Michael, including his lawyer and personal friend, Garrett Boydston.
Steven scrunches his face disapprovingly when Sammy Jo flounces into Carrington manor with her luggage in tow. She reminds him that her Aunt Krystle invited her to stay, then mockingly asks him if he's afraid she'll once again seduce him. He responds by shooting her a stony glare before stalking out of the vestibule.
Steven storms over to the study, where Rita/Krystle is staring at a framed photo of Krystle. He asks her if it's really true that Sammy Jo is moving in, and Rita/Krystle says she is and that it'll be good for Danny. When she insists that her niece has changed, Steven retorts that he's not entirely sure 'bout that...but snarks that she (Rita/Krystle) certainly has.
While lunching at La Mirage, Blake suggests they put off announcing a start date for the pipeline project and cites price wars and an oil glut. Charlton Heston disagrees with that approach and says he wants to set a date and get started building the pipeline asap.
Later, Blake tells Rita/Krystle it's time for them to get dressed for the party, and she tells him she's very nervous 'cause she knows how important tonight is to him. He assures her she'll do fine, gushes about how much he looooves her, then presents her with an extravagantly glittery diamond necklace. She gasps and exclaims, "Gawd it's fantaaaaastic!" in her "native" southern accent, and Blake just kind of smiles perplexedly at that weirdness as she catches herself and calmly tells him it's beautiful.
In the Delta Rho attic, Krystle is staring despondently into space when George Hamilton enters carrying a stack of books. He tells her he brought them to help her pass the time...then glances around the disorderly attic, glares at her disdainfully, and barks at her to clean up her mess.
Party time! As the Colbys and Carringtons schmooze and mingle, Dominque arrives at the mansion in a poofy metallic gown, looks stunned by the sight of Garrett Boydston (who's talking to Blake and the Colbys), and ambles over. Blake introduces her to the Colby brood...and when he introduces her to Garrett, she says they already know each other and adds, "Our paths have crossed."
Sable tells Rita/Krystle that the party is lovely and tries to engage her in a conversation about fine art, but Rita/Krystle gets flustered by her lack of expertise and quickly changes the subject. Claudia notices Steven mope over to the study, so she follows him and reminds him that they can still be friends despite her decision to marry his psychotic brother. Steven's like, "Uh, wrong" and reminds her that she had told him she was going to San Francisco to be alone, but instead married Adam...and now feels manipulated by the lie. Claudia insists that she and Adam are in love, accuses him of being jealous, and snaps, "I have Adam. Who do you have?" Ouch. Steven stares back at her with a stricken expression, then turns and dejectedly shuffles out of the room.
Steven returns to Luke's vacant apartment, stares longingly at a framed photo of Luke, and has a flashback of the two of them in Moldavia, discussing their plans to move in together after the royal wedding. When he snaps out of his reverie, he angrily throws a lamp onto the floor.
Alexis and Sister Theresa are called out to the convent lobby to be questioned by the revolutionary guards, who are searching for the American woman they suspect sneaked across the border in tandem with Dex. Alexis pretends she's a French nun and is able to answer back in French to simple questions like, "What is your name?" and "What order are you from?" ... and that seems to be enough to satisfy the guards, who are like, "Drats. We're looking for Dex's American wife, and we're fully convinced that this nun is French." LOL.
Dominique reminds Garrett that it's been twenty years since they've seen each other, then reminisce about their lusty time together on the Mediterranean when he was married and took her as his mistress. He tells her he's since divorced his wife, and she seems to perk up at that and says there's no one of any importance in her life right now...which I'll take to mean that things didn't work out between her and Jonathan Lake. She then snappishly tells Garrett "to leave the past in the past" before sauntering off.
Prince Michael tells Amanda he just got word from his contacts in Moldavia that Alexis and Dex sneaked into the country, and that Dex has been captured. Amanda clutches her chest and mumbles, "I knew it wouldn't work", and Prince Michael's all, "Say wuh? You knew?!" She tells him she wanted to tell him about the rescue mission, but was sworn to secrecy by Dex...and Prince Michael says he's furious with her for keeping this information from him, accuses her of being in love with Dex, and bitchily storms out of the room.
Rita/Krystle is dancing with Charlton Heston when Blake cuts in and tells her that the man is a shark, though not close to being a sleazy slob like Hal Lombard. When Rita/Krystle scrunches her face confusedly and goes, "Who..?", Blake reminds her that Hal Lombard creepily came onto her last Season while she was pregnant with Kristina. Ew.
Dex is being chained to the wall in his dungeon cell, then shrieks in torment when the guards start lightly torturing him. Noooooo!!
Alexis is praying in the convent chapel, openly regretting the way she's wasted her life indulging in self-serving pursuits. She begs God to pleeeeeeease keep Galen be safe...and, oh yeah, also let Dex make it through this rescue mission alive.
At the party, Jeff chats up Monica Colby, and the two talk about old times (aka, growing up together in California). She tells him that Miles has a new lady love and that the two should be arriving any second now for a dramatic reveal.
Miles and Fallon have just crossed the Denver city limits and are speeding towards Carrington manor.
Claudia pulls Blake aside to tell him how miffed at him she is for appointing Prince Michael as the new overlord of La Mirage. Blake just shrugs and says he was going to tell her all about it, but wasn't able to 'cause she was on an unexpected honeymoon. Claudia snappishly says she's not OK with being treated like this, then storms out of the room and over to Adam to order him to take her home. He stares back at her in puzzlement and says, "Uh, this is home", and she's like, "Fine. I'll leave by myself then!" and heads for the front door.
Blake tells Charlton Heston that he just got a cable from the Chinese, requesting confirmation of his ability to transport the oil that's being drilled...and translates this to mean that the Chinese have doubts that Colby Enterprises owns enough tankers to get the job done. He accuses Charlton Heston of bluffing his way through this deal, and Charlton Heston denies that and says if he wants out to just say so. Blake mulls that over, decides 'ah fuck it' and says he'll move ahead with making the announcement about the pipeline project after all.
Krystle puts a makeshift dummy in her mattress bed when she hears George Hamilton approach the attic door. He enters the room, looks suspicious at the sight of the lumpy bedding, and quickly spots Krystle standing behind the door clutching something in her hand to strike him with. He grabs her by the neck and subdues her by choking her for a few seconds, then releases her before turning around and silently stalking out of the room. He's definitely one weird guy.
Blake announces the imminent launch of the pipeline project and calls it "a proud moment" for both companies, and the party guests clap heartily as Charlton Heston concurs and makes a toast. After that, Blake invites Barbara Stanwyck to dance, and the two reminisce about old times - until Blake stiffens when she makes mention of his brother, Ben Carrington.
Jeff stares forlornly around the room at all the in-love looking couples he's surrounded by, then quietly ambles out of the room. Blake notices, follows him out, and finds him in one of the sitting rooms, staring at a framed photo of Fallon and murmuring, "I love you, Fallon. I always have and I always will." Blake chides him for refusing to move on with his life - but Jeff says he's now in full agreement that Fallon is gone and never coming back. A few seconds later, he peers out the window and sees that Miles and his lady friend have arrived...then squints his eyes disbelievingly and gasps when the lady friend appears to be Fallon. He cries, "OMG! It's Fallon!!" and rushes past Blake to run towards the front door. As that's happening, Fallon stares up at the mansion, gets a bad vibe, and shrieks, "I can't go in there!" and Miles just kind of shrugs and goes, "OK, I guess we're leaving now" - LOL - and the two drive off just as Jeff bursts out of the house and stares hopelessly at the departing Italian sports car.
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Recap: Sammy Jo is enjoying a supervised visit with Danny in one of the many sitting rooms at Carrington manor before fobbing him off on his nanny just prior to his bath time. Blake enters the room to tell Sammy Jo that he was very pleased to hear that she and Krystle have made peace with each other, and that he hopes it's genuine. Sammy Jo fake assures him she's being totes genuine, says she's never had her Aunt Krystle on her mind as much as she has lately, then grins devilishly before heading off to Delta Rho.
At the newly renovated Delta Rho, George Hamilton continues to coach Rita on how to walk, act, and enunciate as much like Krystle as possible. He says he's going to get some more current footage of Krystle so that they can more closely study her mannerisms and give him the opportunity to direct this project as masterfully as he possibly can.
Alexis is breakfasting in bed with her adorable Shih Tzu when Dex enters the room dressed in a work shirt and his usual mom jeans. He asks her if this is her idea of a marriage, this meaning living separate lives and sleeping in separate beds. She mulls that over and chides him for getting his panties in a twist whenever she doesn't feel like obeying his edicts...and he admits that, yeah, he's prone to acting like a chauvinistic dickwad whenever he doesn't get his way, but that he has a huge problem with the fact that she's been so preoccupied with a [possibly] dead king and a dead country. Alexis breathily retorts that Galen was the first man she ever cared about and that she strongly believes he's still alive, and Dex is like, "I'm alive and I love you" and says he didn't sleep very well last night 'cause he would have preferred to be in bed with her, spooning. Alexis promises to put more of an effort into their marriage, and Dex beams happily and says that he too will try harder, then heads off for a day laboring in an oil field, rig, or wherever he goes to mix with the common working man. A few seconds later, Alexis's Asian manservant Lin informs her that a nun named Sister Theresa awaits her for a one-on-one in the living room.
Sister Theresa hands Alexis a letter and urges her to read it, and after Alexis looks it over, she's like, "OMG! I was right! King Galen is alive!" Sister Theresa solemnly says that the revolutionaries are keeping him alive 'cause he's still useful to them, then adds that there's a faction of Moldavian patriots (such as herself) who remain loyal to the king no matter the cost. And speaking of cost, she tells Alexis that the man who wrote the note can be bribed to the tune of $10 million to get Galen released, and Alexis says she's more than willing to pay that price if it means saving her beloved ex's life.
Claudia and Adam are canoodling in the bed of their San Francisco hotel room, where it looks as if the two have been getting it on 24/7 for the last several days. He once again brings up the idea of getting married, and she just kind of shrugs and says she's not entirely sure she's ready to leap head-first into another ill-fated marriage with a Carrington son.
Alexis heads over to Denver Carrington to show Blake the letter Sister Theresa gave her, calls it proof that Galen is alive, and implores him to help with the rescue. Blake argues that it's not proof of anything, and that they still have no real idea if Galen is dead, alive or critically injured...and worries that they could lose $10 million if, for whatever reason, Galen isn't handed over in exchange for the cash. He adds that he also can't risk the lives of the rescuers, and therefore is turning her down flat. A dispirited Alexis storms out of the office - just as Jeff arrives to inform Blake that he's moving to Los Angeles to co-run Colby Enterprises with Charlton Heston. When Blake's all, "Wha-a-a?", Jeff explains that Barbara Stanwyck gave him all of her company shares and the exciting opportunity to relocate to California. Blake says that while he'll miss him, he's pleased that there'll be someone on the inside at Colby Enterprises he can trust, then tells him about the pipeline deal that Charlton Heston proposed and how dependent he is on Colby Enterprise's tankers to get his oil out of the South China Sea. He then decides 'ah, fuck it' and gets on the phone with Charlton Heston to tell him they have a deal.
Alexis summons Prince Michael to the penthouse to discuss the King Galen situation. She shows him the letter she received from Sister Theresa and asks him to share any underground Moldavian contacts he may have so that she can join forces with them in putting together a rescue mission. Prince Michael says he knows the person who wrote the letter, doesn't trust him, and that he's working on an alternate rescue plan that doesn't play into the hands of the revolutionaries.
Sammy Jo is lunching with Krystle at La Mirage and laying it on thick about how much she owes her, and how she can never repay her for all she's done. Krystle says that their renewed friendship and seeing her [pretending to be] so happy is thanks enough. When they finish their lunch, Sammy Jo offers to walk her to her car...and as the two stroll towards the parking lot, George Hamilton hides in the nearby foliage and videotapes them.
Jeff tells Little Blake about all the fun stuff they'll be able to do together in Los Angeles, and that he'll send for him just as soon as he finds them a suitable mansion to live in.
Miles and a mopish looking Fallon are seated at the bar of a restaurant. He tries to cheer her up by offering her nuts, pretzels, or an olive from his Martini...then queries, "Marriage?" Fallon gives him a seriously? look and asks him if he's always so casual about uttering marriage proposals, and he tells her he's never proposed to anyone before 'cause he's never felt so strongly about a woman until now. Fallon points out that she still has no idea who she is or where she came from, but he just shrugs unconcernedly and says that none of that matters to him...and she somehow refrains from coming right out and telling him that she has zero desire to shackle herself in matrimony to a vapid bonehead she met just four episodes ago.
Alexis pleads with Dex to help her formulate a rescue plan for King Galen, but he's just like, "Nope" and that as if he'd risk his life for the purpose of saving her ex-lover. Alexis chides him for his heartlessness in [possibly] letting Galen die out of spite, then declares that she'll go to Moldavia alone if she has to. Dex warns that if she does that their marriage is over...and she bellows, "Then consider it ended, lover!" and storms off. Hee!
Adam and Claudia are ambling around a carnival in San Francisco when Claudia notices that a strange looking man wearing a scarf is following them. Adam breezily assures her it's nothing to worry about and suggests they lose him by boarding a fabulous ship and enjoying a lovely ocean ride.
A bummed looking Amanda is on her way to La Mirage to play tennis when she encounters Prince Michael in the hall. He apologizes for not wanting to hit the sheets with her last night and explains that he's focusing all of his energy on saving his people from the revolutionaries. She says she wants to help him and share in what he's currently going through, but he just shrugs uselessly and mumbles another half-hearted apology. Amanda rolls her eyes, tells him to let her know when he's interested in actually being in a marriage, and flounces off.
Amanda is playing tennis with Steven, but after a few minutes on the court she tells him she's not in the mood. Steven tells her that whenever he or Fallon felt down they'd cheer the other up by clowning around, then gives her a brotherly tickle, which makes her shriek and giggle aloud. Prince Michael appears from out of nowhere and admonishes his wife for making a public spectacle of herself, and Amanda somehow refrains from telling him to go pee up a rope and storms off. Steven tells his pompous douchewad of a brother-in-law to not talk to Amanda like that, urges him to chillax 'cause this is Denver not a stuffy kingdom, and thank his lucky stars that a prissy prick such as himself managed to snag a hot wife. Prince Michael haughtily retorts that Amanda knew full well she was marrying into a royal lifestyle, then barks, "If she wanted to be a Denver housewife, she should have married a Colorado cowboy!"
Adam and Claudia are enjoying their ride aboard the ship when the scarfed man slowly approaches them. Claudia's all, "Ack!" and tells Adam she's frightened - just as the man asks Adam if he's ready. Adam replies that he is, but isn't sure about the lady...and when Claudia's all, "Wuh?" the man removes his scarf and reveals a clergy collar, and informs her that he's here at the request of Adam to marry the two of them. Adam coos at Claudia about how badly he wants to wed her on this ship of dreams, then presents her with a ginormous diamond ring. She gazes appreciatively at the rock, then happily squeals, "Yes! I'll marry you!" and gives Adam a big smooch.
Over at Delta Rho, George Hamilton is showing Rita the footage he filmed of Krystle walking out of the La Mirage, and points out her distinctively confident stride. Rita does her best to emulate Krystle's walk before she and George Hamilton go over the kidnapping plan, set to take place in one week:
Sammy Jo is in a high-end boutique, imploring the store's dressmaker (Beaumont) to duplicate the dress Krystle is planning to wear to the upcoming charity ball. He tells her he can't do that 'cause he's still not over the trauma of Krystle and Alexis showing up at the same function decked out in the exact same gown. Sammy Jo says that the gown is for a friend who lives in New York and who just happens to be the exact same size and height as Krystle - just as Krystle suddenly enters the room and asks whassup. Sammy Jo's all, "Ack!" and tells her she was just asking Beaumont to duplicate her charity ball gown for her to wear 'cause she loves her color choices and sense of style soooo much...and as Beaumont scrunches his face confusedly, Krystle tells Sammy Jo she's flattered by the compliment, but thinks that this particular dress would be all wrong for her, then quickly adds that she'll no doubt look stunning in whatever she chooses to wear.
At Carrington manor, Jeff is staring at the Fallon portrait when Dominique enters the room and congratulates him on his impending move to Los Angeles. Jeff tells her he's excited to relocate to Los Angeles, where a police detective IDed Fallon's photograph. Dominque rolls her eyes and calls the futile search "a fool's errand", but Jeff's just like 'whatever' and insists that if Fallon is in California, he'll find her.
Miles and Fallon are browsing in an antique shop, and Fallon seems particularly intrigued by a toy carousel. Miles offers to buy it for her...and while he heads over to the cashier to pay for it, she has an edited flashback of when she/Pamela Sue Martin once rode a carousel with Jeff and got a headache 'cause of her cracked skull injury. When Miles asks her whassup with her ashen expression, she irritably says she doesn't want the carousel, then rails about how sick and tired she is of not knowing who she is and that all she knows about herself is that she may have grown up near mountains. Miles just shrugs disinterested at her amnesia distress and says that all he cares about is that she's a bright, wonderful woman, then unhelpfully vows to never ever let her go.
Alexis is packing for Moldavia when Dex arrives home. He warns her that if she insists on going to Moldavia she could end up dead, then points out that if Galen is dead, she will have risked her life for no reason. Alexis says she's willing to take that risk...and Dex says she's going to need someone on the rescue mission who knows what the hell he's doing, and that since she's the most important person in the world to him, he's decided to capitulate and go with her. As she woots happily, he warns that she's going to have to do things his way, and she happily promises he'll get no argument from her, then gives him a grateful smooch.
Krystle tells Blake she's off to Delta Rho with her charity ball dress so that Sammy Jo can try it on...and if she likes it enough, she (Krystle) will ask Beaumont to replicate it in Sammy Jo's size and send her the bill. She beams happily and says she's soooooo glad that she and her niece skanklet are on friendly terms again, and Blake does his best to feign interest in that re-connection and says he's very happy for her.
Over at Delta Rho, George Hamilton is coaching Rita on how to walk more Krystle-like...and after several minutes of that, she gets tired and tells him she needs to take a break. Rita moans about how worried she is about the kidnapping plan and tells him that Sammy Jo was unable to convince the dressmaker to duplicate the gown Krystle will be wearing - but George Hamilton says it's no big deal and points out that they can peel the gown off of Krystle after he chloroforms her and make the wardrobe switch in the back of the limo. After he leaves the room, Krystle breezes in, looks weirded out by the sight of her doppelgänger, and demands to know what in blazes is going on here. When a startled Rita just stammers incoherently, Krystle marches over to the phone and announces that she's calling Blake...and as she's doing that, George Hamilton sneaks up behind her and knocks her out cold by giving her a karate chop on the back of her neck. A few seconds later, Sammy Jo bursts into the room, sees Krystle laying motionless on the floor, and cries, "What have you done?!" ... and George Hamilton says that their nefarious plan just changed, then turns his attention to Rita and tells her that from this moment on, she's Mrs. Blake Carrington.
Recap: Blake tells Krystle to stop staring longingly at a photo of Sammy Jo, and just accept the fact that the skanklet is never going to change for the better. Krystle says she refuses to believe that, then reminisces about when Sammy Jo was a sweet young girl. Blake reminds her that she's no longer a young girl, and urges her to be careful when she drops in unannounced on her in New York later this episode.
Adam tells Blake that he's off to Los Angeles to launch a full investigation into Charlton Heston's financials and health status, then says he's also going to stop off in San Francisco to pretend to check up on one of Denver Carrington's refineries.
Blake is irked when he finds Charlton Heston in the mansion's dining room, helping himself to the breakfast buffet spread. Charlton Heston tells him he wants an answer about the pipeline within a week, and reminds him he's going to need Colby Enterprises's tankers in order to get his oil out of the South China Sea. Blake says he hasn't made up his mind about the deal yet, but promises to consider the proposal carefully.
Claudia drops in on Steven, who's still in the process of packing up his stuff from Luke's apartment. She tells him she came by to bid him adieu 'cause she's off to San Francisco to get some time and space away from Denver and decide what she wants out of life. Steven wishes her well, says he'll always love her, and that he's sorry their ill-fated marriage didn't last more than two seasons.
Alexis has a one-on-one with Blake in his office to tell him that something is amiss between Amanda and Prince Michael. Blake says it's understandable, considering that Prince Michael just lost his country and his father - but Alexis says she doesn't believe that Galen is dead, and suggests they join forces to try and save him. Blake says he's skeptical about her theory that Galen is alive, prompting Alexis to cry, "He could be enduring torture as we speak!" At that moment, Blake's secretary interrupts the meeting to inform Blake, in full hearing range of Alexis, that Charlton Heston just called and left an odd message: a Colby Carrington pipeline beats shipping your oil to Chicago by mule train. Subtle, Charlton. She adds that Charlton is staying at the Brown Palace Hotel until tomorrow, and Blake thanks her for needlessly interrupting his meeting to pass along a message that easily could have waited 'til later. He turns his attention back to Alexis and tells her that she should accept Galen's death and not risk the lives of other men, but Alexis declares, "I'll prove he's alive!" and hurriedly flounces out of the room.
Alexis decks herself out in a white blouse with scarily poofy sleeves prior to summoning Charlton Heston over to her penthouse to tell him she heard about his interest in working with Blake to build an oil pipeline. She says she can convince Blake to agree to the project, but wants a favor in return: his help rescuing King Galen from Moldavia. To that end, she wants him to support an economic embargo so that Moldavia is cut off from receiving supplies and equipment and is therefore forced to release Galen. Charlton Heston tells her he's not interested in getting involved with anything like that, and that he specifically approached Blake (and not her) for the pipeline deal 'cause he's the CEO of a huge oil company and is "his own man". Alexis points out that she's become a respected businesswoman in her own right, aka not the party girl he used to know - but Charlton Heston just shrugs disinterestedly at the general notion of gender equality, says he doesn't believe she can "deliver Blake", and that he doesn't want to accommodate her save Galen request. He gives her credit for trying, condescendingly calls her "a very entertaining lady", and invites her to give him a call next time she's in Los Angeles.
Jeff arrives at Barbara Stanwyck's mansion, and the two greet each other warmly and marvel about long it's been since they've seen each other. She shows him the little drummer boy figurine he used to play with as a child and urges him to pass it along to his son, then tells him she's also giving him another gift: her entire holdings in Colby Enterprises, which makes up 50% of the voting stock and is worth $500 million. She tells him it's his turn to continue building up the company...and when he says he knows squat about Colby Enterprises, she points out that he must be a reasonably competent businessman, otherwise Blake would never have installed him as an executive at Denver Carrington. She says he's welcome to return to Denver and limit his involvement in Colby Enterprises to voting as a stockholder...or he could relocate to California and help get the wretched Colbys spinoff off the ground. As he mulls over the life-changing proposition, she urges him to hash it out with Charlton Heston before making a final decision.
Jonathan Lake enters the La Mirage dining room while Dominique is rehearsing a song...and when he claps delightedly, she tells him to get lost and that she doesn't welcome an audience when she rehearses (even when she's rehearsing in a hotel's open dining room with no authority to control the riff-raff from coming and going). Jonathan ignores her haughty 'tude and tells her he once saw her sing in Paris soon after his wife died and while he was contemplating suicide when trying to hammer out a peace treaty. In fact, he was on his way to drown himself in the Seine when he decided to enjoy one last glass of wine in a fancy club, and just happened to choose the very establishment she was crooning in at that moment. He was somehow so entranced by the loveliness of her voice that he instantly felt that life was worth living again...then tells her that since he's forever in her debt, he'd like to take her out to dinner. Dominique mulls that over, finally gets over her nonsensical dislike of him, and shoots him a warm smile.
Alexis is lounging on her couch when a dirty and disheveled Dex arrives at the penthouse and chuckles about spending the day working in an oil field. He asks her if she got a chance to talk to Blake about involving Dexter International in Charlton Heston's pipeline project, but she fibs and tells him she forgot 'cause she's been too preoccupied about Galen's fate. Dex gets irked at the mention of her ex and accuses her of being obsessed with the man. He forgoes taking a much needed shower, snaps, "Good night lady!", and storms towards the elevator.
When Rita has a freakout soon after getting a nose job, Sammy Jo snappishly orders George Hamilton to get her under control. He assures her that Rita will be fine as long as she's provided with all the inside info she needs to effectively impersonate Krystle Carrington....and then imperiously informs Sammy Jo and Rita that he wants this scam to rise to the level of being his masterpiece as a film director, and that he's determined to not let anything get in his way.
In California, Charlton Heston admonishes his sister for giving Jeff her shares of Colby Enterprises, and she argues that it's a helluva lot more sensible than giving them to his son Miles, who doesn't have the smarts or any interest in running a large company. Charlton Heston insists on forcing Miles into the role, and predicts that Jeff and Miles will constantly be at each other's throats...then makes it clear that, despite the doofusness of his idiot son, he'll always be Team Miles. Barbara Stanwyck says that as his father she'd expect nothing less, tearfully tells her brother she loves him, and informs him that Jeff is waiting outside. She exits the office, wishes Jeff good luck, and says his uncle is ready for an acrimonious one-on-one. Charlton Heston comes right out and tells Jeff he thinks that his sister made a huge mistake in giving him her shares...and the two bicker back and forth about [Jeff's late father] Philip, who Charlton Heston insists was a useless slacker who abandoned his family once he joined the army. He urges Jeff to let him buy up his shares so he can quickly get out of his life, but Jeff refuses to sell Barbara Stanwyck's gift and tells his uncle that he's stuck having him as a partner.
Krystle encounters George Hamilton when she enters Sammy Jo's building, and is visibly weirded out by the creepishly intense way he stares at her. Inside the apartment, Sammy Jo is coaching Rita on how to perfect her Krystle signature...and when Krystle knocks on the door and asks her niece to open up, Rita's all, "Ack!" and rushes into the bedroom to hide before Sammy Jo answers the door. Krystle puts her arm around her niece's shoulders and coos about how much she cares about her and knows how tough it was to grow up without a mom. She adds that Rock Hudson appointed her as his will's executor 'cause he wanted aunt and niece to develop a closer bond, and Sammy Jo says it's really been nice chatting and all - but that she has to cut it short on account of an important appointment. She hastily promises Krystle she'll call her next time she's in Denver...and after a disappointed Krystle leaves, Rita emerges from the bedroom and marvels about how what a class act Krystle Carrington is, and how newly intrigued she is by the prospect of impersonating her.
Claudia is decked out in a silky negligee, lounging in her San Francisco hotel room, when Adam arrives with a room service cart. She's all, "Wha-at are you doing here?" and reminds him that she left Denver so she could be alone to ponder her future - but he says he didn't believe she actually wanted to be alone, and that he missed her soooo much. Claudia says she thinks they're ass backwards wrong for each other and needs time to think, but he tells her she can't send him away 'cause he went so far as to lie to Blake about trouble with a refinery, and then called every hotel in San Francisco until he was able to track her down. He breathily declares, "Wherever you go, I'll always find you" ... and instead of pulling the plug on what's mostly been a creepy hookup, she looks strangely turned on by being relentlessly stalked by the weirdo. He presents her with an expensive looking necklace and insists she try it on immediately, then breathily assures her, "We can have it all" before mounting her atop the bed.
Jeff stops in at a Los Angeles police department precinct with a photo of Fallon, and a cop tells him that yep he saw her a few episodes ago, and that she claimed she didn't know who she was. Jeff gets angry and demands to know why he didn't do more to help her, and the cop says he deals with thousands of missing people and that he's waaaay too busy to spend too much time assisting one person. He tells Jeff that, fingers crossed, she'll turn up someplace where a missing persons report has been filed on her...and that in the meantime he'd like him to go away and stop hassling him .
Fallon is at the stables with Miles, petting a horse. She tells him she seems to have an affinity for horseback riding, then abruptly climbs atop the horse and races off. A worried Miles watches her steer the horse through an equestrian obstacle course - LOL - and after one of the jumps, she falls off the horse and gets the wind knocked out of her. Miles races over and concernedly hovers over her until she begins to stir. She grins at him, assures him she's fine, and that she's happy to learn that she now knows she has a love of horses and can't wait to find out who the hell she is. Miles retorts by declaring that he won't ever let her go, then plants her lips with an intense smooch.
Back at Carrington manor, Krystle tells Blake that Sammy Jo promised to call her next time she came to Denver...then says she got the distinct feeling that Sammy Jo was up to no good.
Rita arrives at Sammy Jo's apartment, decked out in fancy new clothes, for the grand unveiling of her more Krystle-like appearance. She excitedly tells George Hamilton and Sammy Jo that the old her doesn't exist anymore, then removes her hat and sunglasses and walks over to the nearest mirror. She gasps and calls her "new face" a miracle...even though her new hairdo is missing Krystle's trademark side wings - which, incidentally, makes her look a lot more like Bo Derek than her intended target. George Hamilton smugly tells her, "I told you so about doing the impossible."
Amanda urges a restless Prince Michael to come back to bed - but he's like, "Nah" and says he's not in the mood for sex. He complains that he feels as though they're exiled children, then bitchily reminds her that she has to accept the fact that they're not merely husband and wife 'cause they have responsibilities to his country and its people. Amanda asks her when the hell he's going to pay attention to her as his wife, then points out that they don't have anything if there's no love between them...and Prince Michael just stares forlornly out of the window and sadly tells her that until his country is free, he doesn't know what they have.
While shopping in downtown Denver, Krystle notices George Hamilton walking down the street with a shopping bag...and when he realizes she's recognized him, he hustles across the street. Krystle tells Blake she saw him outside Sammy Jo's apartment in New York, and adds that he's always staring at her as if he knows her. She then stares pensively into space and says, "He frightens me."
George Hamilton heads over to where Rita's waiting for him and shows her the fancy white dress he just bought for her. As she woots her excitement, he tells her he's no longer satisfied to settle for a cut of Sammy Jo's inheritance - he wants to go after Blake Carrington's money. All of it.
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Recap: Jeff is tossing and turning in bed, dreaming about the contrived car accident that took place on the rainy evening of the Season 4 finale that ultimately led to Fallon's disappearance. When a panicked Fallon yells, "Jeff!", he wakes up with a start, sits up in bed, and contorts his face into a tortured expression.
At breakfast, Jeff tells Blake he's jetting to California this afternoon to launch Operation Look for Fallon Again, and Blake asks him to please hold off on that until after he's met with Justin Dehner, the crackpot psychic he hired in Season 3 to roam around Carrington manor, touch Steven's things, and try to feel out whether he was alive or dead. When Jeff says he's skeptical of going the psychic route, Blake urges him to give this stupid idea a chance.
Krystle asks Jeff why he's putting himself through the torture of searching for Fallon a full season after her disappearance, so he tells her he's convinced that Fallon is the woman in the crowd photo that Lady Ashley took. Krystle says that that's unlikely and that she strongly believes that Fallon is dead - but Jeff tells her he feels compelled to search for her 'cause his life doesn't have much meaning without her.
Over at the penthouse, the camera pans over clothing that has been sexily strewn about the bedroom...and we see that Alexis and Dex are in bed, basking in the afterglow of a post-coitus canoodle. As Dex lights up a cigarette and coos about how sexsational the romp was, Alexis asks him to elaborate on his rescue missions and tells him how super turned on she is by the kind of big-dicked machismo it has to take to sneak into the world's hotspots and perform such daring exfiltrations. A flattered looking Dex tells her that the missions depend largely on a thorough planning process with established underground networks, and Alexis chews on that for a few seconds and asks if he knows of any such underground network in Moldavia. Dex gets irked by her obsession in freeing her Moldavian ex-boyfriend and tells her that King Galen is probably being tortured by his captors, then ghoulishly taunts her by speculating that he could also be dead with maggots eating out his eyes. As he angrily pulls his clothes on, he makes it clear that he has no intention of ever rescuing Galen, and Alexis poutishly asks, "Why not?" and points out that working on the rescue together could be a marriage-building team effort. When Dex dismisses the idea as ridiculous, Alexis accuses him of being jealous of her friendship with the king and urges him to come back to bed. Dex snarls back that he doesn't appreciate being treated like a sex object that she uses whenever the whim strikes, then buttons his shirt while leaving enough of it undone so he can continue showcasing his ape-ishly hairy man chest, and stomps out of the bedroom.
Hollywood heavyweight Charlton Heston, aka deceased Cecil Colby's brother, is on his Malibu estate, staring out at the ocean. A few minutes later, he arranges for a call to be placed to Blake, who reacts by snarking at Charlton Heston that he's not interested in anything he has to say after his part in some boring sounding oil lease kerfuffle that involved his brother Ben. Charlton Heston tells Blake that his beef is mostly with his brother, and that he'd like to discuss a lucrative deal that would greatly benefit Denver Carrington - but Blake growls, "I'm not interested" and hangs up. A few seconds later, Charlton Heston's doctor makes a house call to solemnly inform him that his test results were not good - meaning really really bad - and that he should get his affairs in order asap. Charlton Heston mutters, "Damn.." then throws the apple he's snacking on at the ocean. He asks the doctor how much time he has left, and the doctor just shrugs and is all, "Dunno", then adds that it's probably not much. After he slinks off, Charlton Heston picks up the phone and makes arrangements to fly to Denver, then orders one of his flunkies to gather as much research as possible on Ben Carrington.
Blake, meanwhile, opens an old wooden case, pulls out a black and white photo of his mother, and angrily wonders aloud how Ben could have done whatever terrible thing hasn't yet been revealed to viewers.
Charlton Heston drops in on his sister, played by fellow Hollywood heavyweight Barbara Stanwyck, to share his grim prognosis, and then asks her to keep it to herself so he can focus all of his energy on getting the new pipeline project underway. He adds that it's something he'd really like to leave as a legacy/challenge to his children - in particular his hopeless fucktard of a son, Miles. Barbara Stanwyck laments the way Cecil was cut out of the will all those years ago and contemplates what might have been if [their other sibling] Philip have lived and says he'd be sooooo proud of his son, who appears to have made something of his life. When she later stares at a wooden toy soldier and mutters, "Oh Jeff.." I guess we can safely assume that Jeff Colby is the son to which she was referring.
Blake is in the nursery, cuddling Kristina, when Krystle enters the room and tells him she's been thinking a lot about Sammy Jo and the relationship she never got a chance to forge with Rock Hudson. She worries that she may have come down too hard on her during the previous episode and decides that the conniving skanklet is really not that bad of a person after all.
In New York, Sammy Jo and George Hamilton are scrutinizing Rita's "Krystle disguise", trying to figure out why she still doesn't look convincingly enough like Blake's trophy wife...even though it doesn't take a rocket scientist to deduce that the cheap blonde wig atop Rita's head looks too unlike Krystle's fluffier, side-winged 'do. Sammy Jo says the problem is Rita eyebrows, while George Hamilton argues that her lips are too full...then later decides that the nose is all wrong and that Rita should get a rhinoplasty. Rita gets upset at the scrutiny over her facial features, refuses to undergo surgery, and storms out of Sammy Jo's apartment. When Sammy Jo looks alarmed, George Hamilton calmly assures her that he'll bring Rita around...and Sammy Jo glares at a head shot of Krystle and bitterly warns the photo, "You have no idea what you bargained for when you decided to get cute with me."
Jeff is startled to find Charlton Heston milling around Blake's office and pissily reminds him it's been eleven years since they've seen each other, and that he still resents how little time he was willing to spend with him during his formative years. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room and grumbles about his secretary allowing Charlton Heston to enter his office without permission, and Charlton Heston says he strongly insisted 'cause he's so eager to discuss an important deal he's confident Blake won't want to pass up, namely building the biggest oil pipeline in North America. Blake dismissively says he's not interested, and Charlton Heston smugly retorts that he'd better get interested 'cause he just made a deal with the unnamed country's Minister of Trade to restrict all outgoing oil pumped from the South China Sea to be shipped exclusively via Colby California's tankers. Blake cries, "That's double dealing!" and vows to find a way to get the extracted South China Sea oil into the U.S., and Charlton Heston's like, "Good luck with that" and hands him a copy of the prospectus on the new pipeline before exiting the office.
Over a decadent looking lunch in the penthouse, Alexis asks Prince Michael who he thinks was behind the revolution in Moldavia, and Prince Michael sullenly says he doesn't want to talk about it. Alexis presses the matter by telling him she'd like to help rescue his father, but Prince Michael declines her help and says he's taking the appropriate steps through his own channels. Amanda urges her husband to accept Alexis's assistance so that they can all work together to save Galen, and Prince Michael shoots her an incredulous stink-eye for having the impudence to voice an opinion in his presence, then imperiously replies that, unlike her, he's been reared since birth to handle matters of state. Alexis admonishes his bitchy rudeness towards Amanda, doubles down on wanting to help Galen, and insists on being involved with the rescue. Prince Michael snappishly replies that his own people are dealing with his and that she needs to back off...and when Alexis asks for the details on how he plans to handle his father's predicament, he tells her it's none of her damn business.
Jonathan Lake, an assistant undersecretary from the State Department drops by Denver Carrington to rudely grill Blake on what intel he might have about the new regime in Moldavia. When Blake says he doesn't know a whole lot, Jonathan snidely retorts that he likely knows more than he thinks, given that he was able to secure the release of Krystle and Alexis from their dungeon cells. Dominique, who happened to be visiting with Blake when Jonathan arrived unannounced, glares at Jonathan and icily insists that her brother knows nothing...and Blake dials down the tension by telling Jonathan that he'd be happy to answer any questions if they're submitted to his lawyers in writing. Jonathan agrees to that compromise, then gives Dominique an appreciative once over before exiting the office.
Blake summons Adam to his office to order him to fly to Los Angeles pronto and find out everything he can about Charlton Heston's finances and the state of his health. He explains that he may be forced into doing business with the man and doesn't want to be blindsided by any troubling surprises.
Over at ColbyCo, Alexis tells Steven she's beginning to see Prince Michael for the impertinent little prick he is, and that he seems to enjoy playing the role of exiled king a bit too much. She says she really really wants to do something to help King Galen, then asks Steven if he knows of any countries that have friendly trade relations with Moldavia. Steven says he heard that France does...and Alexis mulls that over and decides that her new mission in life will be figuring out how to urge the French government to put pressure on the Moldavian regime to "make them see the light". Steven scrunches his face worriedly and warns her that she could be getting in over her head - just as Dex bursts into the room and asks to speak with Alexis in private. Once Steven is out of earshot, Dex tells Alexis that Charlton Heston is in town, and that he's been discussing joining forces with Denver Carrington to build a large oil pipeline. He says he really really wants Dexter International to get in on that action, but needs her to strong arm Blake into it, which she likely could, given that she owns 25% of the South China Sea oil leases. Alexis chortles about the un-romantic nature of the request, and Dex smilingly reminds her that this is a business meeting and promises to give her some good lovin' in the sack later. Alexis perks up at that, chirps, "Deal!", and agrees to talk to Blake. After Dex exits her office, she asks Steven to get France's Minister of Trade on the phone, then mutters to herself that she's hoping Moldavia will soon fold under the threat of a trade embargo with France.
Over in the La Mirage bar, Dominique overhears Jonathan Lake calling the front desk to ask for her room number, so she marches over and haughtily asks what he wants. Jonathan sheepishly explains that he's not usually as rude to people as he was to Blake earlier - and Dominique retorts that he really should be apologizing to Blake, not her. Jonathan offers to buy her a drink so he can improve on the terrible first impression he must have made to her, but she snootily says she takes great pride in the accuracy of first impressions, then wishes him good day before flouncing off...leaving Jonathan staring after her all smitten-like.
Krystle tells Blake that she feels the need to fly to New York right this minute so she can make peace with Sammy Jo face-to-face, and Blake's like, "Sure, whatever. I really don't give a shit."
George Hamilton is showing Rita some head shots of Krystle, pointing out the need to alter her nose. He then likens her impersonation of Krystle to 'the role of a lifetime', which will transform her into a wealthy trophy wife who has everything she's ever dreamed of. As Rita mulls over her forthcoming metamorphosis, George Hamilton coos about how she deserves the very best, then gives her an intense smooch before the two start getting it on.
Adam reminds Claudia that he gave her an ultimatum to accept his marriage proposal or else, and wants her answer before he leaves for Los Angeles. He then suggests she come along with him and offers to buy her an engagement ring, but she's like, "No and no" and says she's worried that if they get married it'll result in both of them getting hurt. Adam creepily argues that they both share an insatiable hunger for power and a passion for each other - but she's like, "Mmm...nope, I don't feel anything like that", and decides that she's going to spend some time in San Francisco while he's out of town so that they can separately ponder whether they really, truly, absolutely want to gross out all of Denver by forming an unholy marital alliance.
Jeff hands Justin Dehner the wedding gown Fallon was wearing the night she disappeared, and Justin touches it while closing his eyes, then looks spaced out as he reports that his psychic senses are picking up something related to panic/water/drowning. As he shuts his eyes and gets lost in the troubling sensation, an alarmed Jeff yells, "Where?! Who?!" LOL.
While ambling along a California beach, Miles tells Randall/Fallon that he used to find the beach a sad and lonely place - but now that he has her to stroll along the sand with, he finds it beautiful. He leans in for a kiss - just as Randall/Fallon notices a little boy running towards the water. She has a confusing flashback of when Little Blake was toddling towards the Carrington swimming pool while she was faux paralyzed, shrieks in panic, and races over to "save" the little boy. As she hugs him tightly, the tot's babysitter runs over and snappishly orders her to let go of the kid and mind her own business. Miles scrunches his face confusedly and asks her what in blazes that spectacle was all about, so she explains that she just had a flashback, but has no idea idea what it means, then cries at the sky, "Pleeeeeease help me remember!"
Barbara Stanwyck calls Jeff...and after the two natter about how long it's been since they've spoken, she tells him she neeeeeds to talk to him about something so important that it absolutely has to be a face-to-face conversation. Jeff furrows his caterpillar brows and asks her what this is about, so she tells him she's made a decision that could dramatically change his life, and wants him in Los Angeles to hear the details.
Fallon/Randall and Miles, meanwhile, enjoy a tender smooch on the beach with the dramatic sunset providing a pretty backdrop.
Recap: Krystle is pacing the length of her Moldavian dungeon cell when the door suddenly swings opens and a disheveled looking Alexis is thrown in with her. Alexis stares at Krystle in bewilderment and asks her what in blazes she's doing here, so Krystle explains that she's being [nonsensically] detained for refusing to convince Blake to honor the unholy financial deal she (Alexis) made with King Galen, which she wryly equates to "selling your daughter for a throne". Alexis haughtily says she's not in the mood for a lecture after being tied up and blindfolded...and Krystle counters that she's been rotting in this dungeon cell since the end of the previous episode, then admonishes Alexis for being so self-centered that she hasn't even thought to ask about the fate of her children or Dex. Alexis dramatically shakes her head from side to side - LOL - and asks Krystle if she's seen her loved ones, and Krystle informs her that, impossible as it is to believe, everyone but Lady Ashley and Luke made it through the massacre alive. She adds that the terrorists are claiming that King Galen also perished, but that she later saw him in one of the palace bedrooms, visibly stirring. Alexis moans, "Oh God.." and tears up, and Krystle blames the current predicament of most of the Dynasty cast on her for pushing Amanda into the royal marriage. Alexis snappishly tells her to stop her sanctimonious finger pointing so they can put their heads together and figure a way out of this hellhole.
Blake is on the phone with his banker and cleverly arranges for a bounty of $5 million to be put on the head of the Interior Minister if he doesn't immediately release Krystle and Alexis. He then smugly informs the incensed Interior Minister that this is how he deals with terrorists, and the Interior Minister cringes from the embarrassment of being so easily outsmarted by a douchenut like Blake before instructing Yuri to release the women.
In the next scene, Krystle and Alexis are brought into the room, and they squeal with delight at the sight of their husbands and rush over to hug them. The Interior Minister snarks at Blake for referring to him as a terrorist instead of the revolutionary he considers himself to be, and Blake's just like, "Whatever" and demands a safe escort to the U.S. bound plane.
Back in New York, Sammy Jo and Rita are watching news coverage of the return of the Moldavian Massacre's surviving hostages [aka nearly every Dynasty actor who was present at the royal wedding]. Amanda addresses the press and declares that she's standing by her man, who she insists is the rightful King of Moldavia...and Prince Michael bitchily admonishes the reporters for not addressing his wife with the respectful Your Highness title.
Krystle is in the nursery, cuddling Kristina, when a smiling Blake enters the room. Krystle tells Blake how sad she is about the loss of Lady Ashley and Luke...and how frightened she was that she'd never see him and/or hold their baby again. Blake gives her a canoodle and firmly assures her that nothing will ever come between them again.
Adam and Claudia indulge in an energetic romp at the La Mirage...and after enjoying some brief post-coital afterglow, Adam complains about having to hide their relationship behind closed doors, accuses her of not loving him enough, and barks, "Marry me!" Claudia points out that marriage always seems to destroy her serious relationships, as evidenced by the disastrous ends of her marriages to Bo and Steven [even though those breakups were mostly brought about by infidelities on both sides]. Adam agrees to back off, then makes his voice all sexy-husky in that creepy way he does and promises that, henceforth, every time they doink will be like the first time...and Claudia perks up at that sexy promise and waxes on about what a superb lover he is.
Alexis is having a troubled sleep and suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming, "Galen!" When Dex asks her whassup, she dramatically shakes her head from side to side - LOL - and says she has a strong feeling that King Galen is still alive...not least 'cause Krystle told her what she saw with her own eyes in the palace bedroom. Dex says it's unlikely that the terrorists would have kept Galen alive, then says the only thing he cares about right now is that she's alive and safe with him. He then leans in for a kiss...and the two get into some intense smooching action.
Over in New York, Sammy Jo has given Rita a fugly cheap blonde wig to make her look more Krystle-like...then stands back and scrutinizes her, unable to put her finger on what isn't quite right about this "disguise" [hint: it's the fugly cheap blonde wig]. Sammy Jo decides that the problem is not enough nose blush - cause...yeah, that's going to make a critical difference - but then concludes that there's no way in hell that Rita is going to be able to successfully pull off a Krystle impersonation. She then decides 'to hell with this implausible scheme' and declares that she's flying to Denver right now to claim her inheritance - and that she's not even going to have to install an imposter in the Carrington mansion to do it. So there!
Over in the cemetery, Steven solemnly stands in front of Luke's coffin and delivers a heart-felt eulogy about the man he describes as his honest, patient lover. He waxes on about how Luke uncomplainingly waited for him to resolve his relentless 'am I a gay man or a straight man?' quandary so they could finally settle into a loving relationship. Afterwards, Blake gruffly tells Steven he's proud of him and invites him to join the rest of the family at the mansion, but Steven declines and says he needs to head over to Luke's apartment to pack up his stuff.
Steven is packing boxes when Claudia stops by the apartment to gush about his amaaaazing eulogy. She tells him she considers their marital problems to be water under the bridge and says she feels only love and compassion for him now...and he apologizes for acting like such a pissy little bitch during the more toxic stages of their ill-fated marriage.
Claudia finds an angry Adam waiting for her in her La Mirage office. He snaps, "Where the hell have you been?" and gets visibly annoyed when she tells him she was visiting with Steven. He bitchily reminds her that Steven is her past and breathily barks, "I want you. All of you" - but Claudia says she can't force herself to shut off her loving feelings for Steven, and that she needs more time to fully consider if she really truly seriously wants to be shackled in marriage to a creepy rapist abuser who barks things like 'I want you. All of you'. Adam sneeringly declares that he's willing to give her every part of him and expects the same of her...then shoots her the stink-eye before storming out of the room. Run, Claudia. Run!
Rita returns to her apartment and finds George Hamilton (aka her off camera abusive boyfriend) waiting for her. He apologizes for smacking her around the last time they spoke, then explains that he only did it 'cause he was soooo stressed out about getting fired for going $12 million over budget on the film he was directing. Yikes. He tells Rita he wants to make it up to her...and by make it up to her, he means unzip her dress and start getting it on. After some half-hearted resistance, Rita gets into it, and the two start going at it atop the couch.
Blake tells Prince Michael that he's very proud of how Amanda has dealt with the whole Moldavian Coup Situation, then toasts the couple's future. He offers to introduce Prince Michael to some important Denver players to figure out how he's going to make a living from here on in, but Prince Michael declines the offer and snappishly says he's more than capable of providing for his new trophy wife.
Prince Michael grumbles at Amanda about whether she's daddy's little girl or his adult wife, so she saucily reminds him that she wasn't daddy's little girl last night. Ew. She changes the subject to Duchess Elena and wonders if perhaps she was involved in the Moldavian coup - and an irked Prince Michael tells her not to worry her pretty little head about it and leave all Moldavian affairs of state to him. Amanda gets angry at being blown off and loudly demands to know what the hell she's supposed to do all day, and he orders her to lower her voice and act like his queen...which apparently doesn't involve pondering who might have aided the revolutionaries who betrayed her husband and father-in-law. He snaps, "Is that understood?" and she meekly confirms that it is before he storms out of the room.
Rita tells George Hamilton about Sammy Jo's nefarious scheme to claim her inheritance money that's currently under Krystle Carrington's control, and George Hamilton perks up at the mention of money and Carrington and says he's read all about the great and wealthy Blake Carrington. Rita says that the idea of her impersonating Krystle is far too crazy to take seriously, not least 'cause she's an actress not a criminal - but George Hamilton urges her to rethink that sane logic and consider the scheme to be an opportunity to turn in the performance of a lifetime.
Over at ColbyCo, Dominique is complaining to Alexis that she's getting in the way of hers and Blake's ability to sell off the valuable timberland that is part of Tom Carrington's estate...and a distracted Alexis, who's idly doodling King Galen on a pad of paper, just shrugs and says she doesn't give a rat's ass about timberland and urges them to do whatever the hell they want with it. Dominique looks pleasantly surprised at Alexis's shift from being her usual obstructive self and says she'll get to work on the bidding process asap...and Alexis is all, "Whatever, I really don't give a shit" and continues doodling.
Sammy Jo is barking orders at the interior decorator she hired to redo the Delta Rho office - just as an aghast looking Krystle arrives and demands to know what she's doing. Sammy Jo reminds her that this property now belongs to her, and that she's opting to get rid of the tacky plaid wallpaper and horse portraits. When she snippily adds that she wants an advance of 10K along with the unpaid stable fees, Krystle wearily promises to get her the cash...and once she's out of earshot, Sammy Jo cackles to herself and vows, "I'll get it all."
Dex is trying to have a business-related conversation with Alexis, who's decked out in a blue blazer that has arrows (?) wings (?) for sleeves - but she's too distracted by the uncertainty of King Galen's fate to pay attention and says she wants to give a TV interview to make public her suspicions about the ousted king still being alive. Dex points out that it's a sure way to get the man killed if he is still alive, and that she wouldn't want that death on her head.
Jeff is in his office at Denver Carrington, sifting through Lady Ashley's things when Dominique breezes in and sympathetically clucks at him to cheer up 'cause Lady Ashley wouldn't want him to dwell on his grief. Jeff's like, "Yeah, I'm already over her" and shows Dominique the crowd photo that Lady Ashley took that he believes has Fallon in it...and Dominique scrunches her face in annoyance and says she assumed that he was mourning Lady Ashley, not reigniting his obsession with Fallon's disappearance. She then raises the obvious point: if Fallon is alive, why hasn't she come home? And Jeff muses that perhaps she's trying to return to him, but for some reason isn't able to.
In Los Angeles, Miles Colby and Fallon (aka Randall Adams) are dining at a French restaurant...and Fallon is as mystified by her ability to order her meal in fluent French as Miles is impressed that she has full command of a language other than English. He says he's going to assume that she studied at the Sorbonne - but she doubts that's true, even though she doesn't actually know for sure 'cause she continues to have no idea who she is, which is why she randomly started calling herself Randall Adams. She adds that when she saw his name in the newspaper, the name Colby seemed to trigger something familiar inside of her muddled brain, and Miles just stares at her in his usual vacant fashion as he compliments her hotness and shrugs disinterestedly at a memory loss that would alarm or at least concern a normal person, and interprets her sudden appearance in his life as a sign that they were meant to be together.
Jeff shows Blake the crowd photo and insists that Fallon is in it - but after studying it for a few seconds, Blake says it's too blurry for him to be absolutely sure, then chides him for being so obsessed about Fallon's disappearance and implores him to start living in the real world. Jeff stubbornly retorts that he's jetting to L.A. to launch a search for Fallon, and reminds Blake how adamant he was about Steven being alive when he was presumed dead after "dying" in the oil rig explosion, then declares that no one is going to stop him from finding his ex/future wife.
Sammy Jo returns to her New York apartment and is startled to find Rita and her boyfriend waiting for her. Rita introduces her to George Hamilton, who remarks that judging from the pouty expression on Sammy Jo's face, she has returned from Denver empty-handed. He then proposes that the three of them join forces to manipulate the Carringtons into doing what they want...and as Rita grins and nods in agreement, Sammy Jo mulls that over while staring contemplatively into space.
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Recap: Yuri and his revolutionary comrades are surveying the Moldavian Massacre carnage when the priest who married Prince Michael and Amanda bursts out of the chapel, looks aghast at the sight of all the corpses strewn about, and snarls at Yuri for being a homicidal maniac. Yuri tells him to shut up and move along - just as Blake is dragged out of the chapel. When he complains about the manhandling he's enduring from the guards, Yuri smugly informs him that he's a prisoner of this revolution, not a guest of his country. Krystle saunters out a few seconds later and rushes over to Blake...and a few seconds later, Steven helps Luke hobble about and implores someone to help his gravely wounded lover. Yuri snaps his fingers at some guards and orders them to take Luke to the nearest doctor, then snarks at Steven to stay behind. Jeff, meanwhile, looks around frantically and demands to know where Lady Ashley is, so Yuri tells him that her body was carted off soon after she died in the hail of gunfire. A slightly injured Prince Michael emerges from the chapel with Amanda in tow and growls, "You traitor!" at Yuri and asks him what in blazes he's done to Moldavia. Yuri mockingly refers to him as "the prince who never grew up", then chuckles as he murmurs, "Boy prince...boy bridegroom." An unconscious King Galen is carried out of the chapel - followed by an angry Dex, who demands to know where the hell his wife is. Yuri informs him that she's been taken to an unspecified location, then turns his attention to the surviving cast members to point out that he and his revolutionaries had every opportunity to kill all of them - but opted not to out of compassion...along with the producers' weak-bellied decision to retain the show's full complement of principal actors for Season 6. As the camera pans across everyone's grim expressions, Yuri announces that a plane will be departing to the United States in four hours and that he's allowing all of them to board it. In the meantime, however, he's going to allow his guards to unnecessarily manhandle everyone while they're being transported to the nearby palace...and when that gets underway, Blake glares at Yuri and snarls, "Thugs! Gangsters!"
When one of the guards orders Amanda to pack up her things, Prince Michael snaps at him to stop ordering his wife around, then declares himself Interim King until his father regains consciousness. He orders the guards to summon the Interior Minister so he can round up any remaining loyal troops and put an immediate end to this shameful rebellion - but a few seconds later, the Interior Minister enters the room and informs Prince Michael that his family's reign is over, and that he and Amanda can either leave Moldavia or stay and face certain execution.
The Interior Minister tells Krystle that, pre-massacre, there was a business deal pending between ColbyCo and King Galen that involved a sizable transfer of funds. Krystle scrunches her face confusedly and asks what that has to do with her, so he says that since Alexis is unable to speak at the moment (!), he needs her to persuade Blake to substitute Denver Carrington for ColbyCo in the aforementioned business deal. He hands her a note that begs Blake to do what the revolutionaries want and orders her to sign it, but Krystle refuses and defiantly crumples it. When the Interior Minister threatens to detain her if she continues to be uncooperative, she haughtily cries, "Blake won't let you get away with this!" ... and he sinisterly snaps back that no one in a high position will be coming to their aid - least of all King Galen.
Steven sits by Luke's bedside while Luke mumblingly recalls a dream he just had about the two of them meeting as children. Steven assures him they'll be together once they return to Denver - but Luke stops him and says he well knows he's about to expire. He begs Steven not to forget him and everything they shared, and Steven tearfully promises. When Luke asks for a blanket, Steven takes off his jacket and covers him with it...and a few seconds later, Luke takes his last breath. Steven sobs, "I looooooved you.." as a grim-faced Blake tiptoes into the room and gruffly expresses his condolences.
Adam informs Claudia that Luke has just died...and Claudia moans, "Poor Luke" and refers to him as "the other outsider". Adam tut tuts her for calling herself an outsider, declares her the future Mrs. Adam Carrington, and promptly proposes. Claudia gives him a funny look and asks him how he can possibly think about marriage at a time like this, then wonders aloud how Blake is going to feel about her divorcing one of his sons and marrying a different one in such a scarily short period of time, cause...yeah, ew. Adam argues that, in fact, it's the perfect time to plan their future, then dismissively says, "To hell with Blake" before leaning in and giving her a blechy smooch.
Blake apologizes to Steven for being a homophobic dickwad for the last five seasons, and says it's finally dawned on him that not everyone has to live by his straight, curmudgeonly old white man values. He tells Steven he loves him, hates seeing him in so much pain, and offers to do whatever he can to help. Steven tearfully thanks him, and the two hug.
Dex asks Amanda if she knows what happened to Alexis, and Amanda says she has no clue. She discreetly hands him a small velvet black bag filled with royal jewels and suggests he use them to bribe the revolutionaries in an effort to find Alexis - but he grimly tells her that revolutionaries aren't generally the kind of people who can be bribed, then hands the bag back to her.
The Interior Minister asks Krystle if she's ready to cooperate with him, but she haughtily refuses and insists that the money deal be brokered by Blake and King Galen. The Minister's like, "No can do" and breaks the news that King Galen is dead, and Krystle scrunches her face miserably and wails, "You killed him!" She snaps that she has nothing more to say and makes a beeline for the exit - but the Interior Minister bars her from leaving and says he's going to continue aggravating her until she convinces Blake to make a deal with him. It remains unclear why he's wasting time with Krystle over this when surely he could needle/threaten/browbeat Blake directly.
Yuri announces To Blake, Prince Michael, and Amanda that King Galen is dead, then salutes, "Long live the new Moldavia!" Prince Michael decrees that he is now the rightful sovereign and orders Yuri to call off the rebellion, but Yuri just chuckles and calls him a young fool. Prince Michael threatens to kill him if he doesn't stop publicly ridiculing him...and when Yuri responds by getting angry and pointing a gun at him, Blake urges Prince Michael to cut the sass 'cause it's endangering his loved ones. Prince Michael snaps at Blake to mind his own damn business, then orders Yuri to ensure that his father receives a proper funeral...and a weary looking Yuri tells him to pack up his shit and leave Moldavia unless he wants there to be two funerals.
Over in New York City, Rita asks Sammy Jo to recap her nefarious plan, so Sammy Jo explains that her late father left her a huge sum of money in his will - but put her Aunt Krystle in charge of dispensing the funds. She wants to get the will changed and figured that since she (Rita) is a dead ringer for Krystle, she wouldn't mind going to Denver and impersonating Krystle long enough to sign whatever papers are necessary to get the funds released. Rita stares back at her worriedly and says she highly doubts she'd be able to pull something like that off - but Sammy Jo reminds her that she's an aspiring actress who's in dire need of fancy clothes and a better hairdo in order to transform her into "the full package" ... and Rita mulls that over and decides she's A-OK with impersonating Sammy Jo's rich aunt if it means getting a shot at Hollywood stardom.
Dominique finds Jeff wandering around the room Lady Ashley had stayed in, confused about why it's been emptied out. Dominique explains that she took it upon herself to pack everything up, give the terrorists her family's contact info so they could be informed of her demise, and oversee the shipping of her body to France. Jeff stares mournfully into space and says that he and Lady Ashley had had plans to get married, then laments that it's now the second time a loved one on the eve of marriage has disappeared on him so suddenly. Dominique breaks it to him that Lady Ashley had no intention of marrying him, and that she confided her plans to write him a Dear Jeff letter and depart Moldavia immediately after the wedding. She hands him a letter she found among Lady Ashley's things...and in it she explained to Jeff that she's bailing on him 'cause of the torch he'll always carry for Fallon, and that she's not into playing second fiddle to a dead woman. Even though, ironically, she herself is now dead.
Dex bursts into the Interior Minister's office and demands to know where Alexis is, and the Minister claims she's somewhere in the palace and assures him that she'll soon be joining him and others on the plane. Dex asks if Krystle will also be on that plane, but the Minister refuses to answer and snarkishly orders Dex to be removed from his office.
Krystle has been placed inside a dungeon cell...and she's pacing back and forth when Yuri steps inside and chuckles about the dramatic change in her accommodations. Krystle haughtily says he can't possibly believe he can keep her imprisoned here, and he's like, "Uh, I believe I can do whatever the hell I want" and leans in to give her a smooch. She's all, "Ack!" and slaps him across the face...and he glares back at her as he touches his split lip and backs off. After he exits the cell, Krystle presses herself against the concrete wall and stares worriedly into space.
The majority of the cast is herded into a hangar to wait for the U.S. bound plane to arrive...and a few seconds later, Blake is also dragged in. He notices that Krystle isn't in the hangar and demands to know where she's being held...and Amanda points out that a few others are missing as well: Dominique, Alexis, and Dex.
Jeff rereads Lady Ashley's break up letter...and when he gets to the part about him carrying a torch for Fallon, he has a fake flashback of when he and Recast Fallon kissed in a motel room.
And speaking of Recast Fallon..
Fallon enters a Los Angeles bus station and tells the ticketing agent she'd like to buy a one-way ticket to Taos, NM, 'cause for some unexplained reason she really likes the idea of living near mountains. As he writes up the ticket, she idly flips through the local paper and notices an article about Miles Colby participating in a polo charity event. She murmurs, "Colby...Colby..." and spacily wanders off, leaving the ticketing agent holding her bus ticket and going, "Uh, Miss..? Miss..?"
Fallon arrives at the polo charity event, and is petting one of the horses when Miles Colby rushes over to her and coos about how pretty she is. She tells him she's here alone, introduces herself as Randall Adams, and says that something about his photo in the newspaper drew her to him. Miles perks up at that and says he'd definitely like to get to know her better and invites her to join him for dinner tonight, then weirdly adds how much he looooooves how secretive she is. Fallon stares wistfully into space and says she only wishes she could remember what her secrets are...and Miles just nods and smiles back at her as if this is a completely normal conversation for two near strangers to be having.
The Interior Minister summons Dominique to his office to tell her that he's a lonely man who's looking to share his revolutionary victory with a beautiful woman. To that end, he wants her to live at King Galen's country estate so she can sing for him whenever he wants to be sung to, and put out whenever he drops by for a booty call. Dominique makes a blech face and says she finds that to be the most grotesque proposition in the history of grotesque propositions.
Dominique is brought to the hangar, where everyone is still camped out. Dex pulls Blake aside and tells him that the guards took Krystle away for questioning, and Blake tells him they're definitely going to have to rescue their wives...and by they he really means himself, 'cause the revolutionaries are, no doubt, expecting a rescue attempt to come from a young, seasoned hostage rescuer (such as Dex), and not a geriatric, feeble looking blowhard (such as himself). A confused Dex is all, "OK, dude. Good luck with that."
A guard serves Krystle a plate of food and says that a lovely woman such as herself must keep up her strength while being detained. She says she's not hungry, then begs the guard to allow her to see Blake...and uses her ginormous diamond wedding ring to bribe him. In the next scene, the guard takes her to a room in the palace, where King Galen is laying on the bed. She hovers over him and is startled when he begins to stir. She runs to the door and stupidly flings it wide open, only to find a scowling Yuri standing in the doorway. She bellows, "Galen is alive!" before Yuri tosses her out of the room and orders his guards to return her to the dungeon. As they deposit her inside the dark cell, they cackle about how "this rich American won't be pretty for long" ... and Krystle stares mournfully into space and cries, "Blake! Help meeeeeeee!"
Recap: Alexis tells a despondent Amanda that she can't cancel the wedding at this late date 'cause everything's all arranged for the ceremony and it'd be too embarrassing for the royal family. When Amanda poutishly whines that she doesn't want to marry a man she can't trust, Alexis says it's unlikely that Prince Michael is having an affair with Elena...but even if he were, she'd be a total moron to squander the chance to live a life of luxurious royal leisure 'cause of one measly indiscretion. A manservant pops into the suite to remind the two that they're expected to attend tonight's meet n' greet reception to mingle with the newly-arrived American guests. Once he's out of earshot, Amanda tells Alexis she wants no part of this farce and intends to break off the engagement. A dismayed Alexis implores her to at least break the news diplomatically...and until that time she'll just tell everyone she suddenly came down with the flu.
Upon arrival in Moldavia, Krystle laments to Blake how bummed she is about how the will reading went and how pissed off Sammy Jo now is at her. She says she worries that the skanklet is going to do something desperate - but Blake urges her to not worry so much and allow it to spoil her enjoyment of the wedding.
Sammy Jo plays a message that Krystle recently left on her answering machine and asks Rita if she thinks she'd be able to make her voice sound the way it would if she weren't speaking with a contrived southern accent. Rita pretends to mull that over and says, "Sure, if I practice" and a delighted Sammy Jo says she'd appreciate her doing exactly that.
At the royal reception, King Galen is introduced to Blake and Krystle and engages in pleasant chit-chat with the two, while Jeff bugs Lady Ashley to give him an answer to his marriage proposal. Claudia encounters Steven and Luke and the three have an awkward interaction...and then Claudia is whisked away by Dominique, who tells her she looked like she needed rescuing. Elena tries to talk to Prince Michael, but he tells her to get lost and orders his security guard to keep her far away from him.
Blake asks Alexis why Amanda isn't at the reception and doesn't buy that she has the flu. Alexis concedes that maybe he can do something to help and fills him in on the situation, which prompts Blake to immediately rush over to Amanda's suite to harshly ask whaddup with her being so stubborn, unreasonable, and childish. Amanda whines that it was humiliating seeing Prince Michael with naked Elena in his room and is soooooo confused about what she should do next. Blake advises her to think through the situation carefully, then make a decision and stick to it. He adds that if she ultimately does decide to call off the wedding, he'll stand by her.
The next morning, Blake confronts Prince Michael about his alleged dalliance with Elena, and Michael says that despite his reputation as a playboy, he loves Amanda and has never been unfaithful to her...and that Elena manipulated the situation to make it look as if they were about to hit the sheets. Blake takes his word for it and later relays this to Amanda...and she thinks it over and decides she'll believe Michael's claim of innocence.
Jeff, Adam, Steven, and Luke are playing volleyball while Lady Ashley watches and enjoys a glass of lemonade. When Dominique saunters over and asks her why she seems so morose, Ashley tells her that Jeff proposed and that she's pretty sure it's just the fantasy of a young man who, for some reason, likes the idea of legally binding himself to an older woman he used to crush on when he was eighteen years old.
Alexis tells Galen she's very upset about Amanda's wedding angst and that she can't get Elena to do anything to help remedy the situation. Galen says he's loathe to interfere and would rather the kids resolve their own relationship issues, then changes the subject to the two of them hooking up after the wedding. He says he'd loooove it if she stayed in Moldavia and became his queen - but she's like, "Meh" and tells him she has an empire and a husband to look after. Galen snorts derisively and urges her to consider sharing her life with him...and as she mulls that over, Dex appears in the doorway. When he witnesses what looks suspiciously like the Alexis and Galen in the act of romantically canoodling, he storms away angrily.
Dex is guzzling booze when Alexis returns to their suite. He rails at her for carrying on with Galen, then grabs her and whirls her around to forcibly face him before growling, "How far has this gone?!" Alexis snappishly retorts, "As far as your thing with Amanda went!" Dex is all, "I'm outa here" and says he's catching the next available plane out of Moldavia...and as he storms out of the suite, Alexis shrieks, "Dexxxxxx!! Don't you walk out on me, you bastard!"
The next morning, Alexis summons Elena and demands to know the truth about her and Prince Michael, and Elena cheekily tells her "the truth" is that she and Michael have known each other since they were children and that he'll always love her. King Galen enters the room, shoots Elena a disapproving glare, and tells her that her father stands to lose a lot of money with the ColbyCo oil deal if Michael's wedding to Amanda falls through. He orders Elena to 'fess up to Amanda and tell her the truth, and she looks suitably contrite and agrees to have that awkward conversation.
Elena heads straight over to Amanda's suite to clear up the misunderstanding she deliberately caused when she sneakily stripped naked in in front of Michael. She admits that Michael didn't actually invite her to his room, and that she sought to convince him - by baring her naughties - that he should break his engagement and revert to his original decision to make her his bride. He was in the process of rebuffing her when she (Amanda) happened to walk in on them. Elena implores Amanda to say that she believes her, and Amanda says she does, then asks her if she (Elena) thinks that she (Amanda) is the right wife for Prince Michael. Elena's like, "Fuck no" and tells Amanda she definite does not have what it takes to makes it as a Moldavian princess.
Claudia admonishes Adam for avoiding her 'cause he's such a scaredy cat for running afoul of Blake. When he weakly denies doing any such thing, she orders him to start acting like he gives a rat's ass about their relationship - otherwise she'll dump him like yesterday's news.
Steven notices Claudia and Adam talking...and when Luke sees the wistful look on Steven's face, he says their relationship doesn't stand a chance if he can't put Claudia out of his mind. Steven mumbles about complicated it all is, blah blah...then decides 'ah fuck it' and tells Luke that once they return to the States, he and Danny will be moving in with him [in his tiny apartment??]. Luke perks up at that, and the two press against each other for a stiff looking man-hug.
Blake sees Adam kissing Claudia and scrunches his wrinkly face concernedly at the brazen PDA.
Dex runs into Amanda and tells her he's about to flee "the mixed up world" he suddenly finds himself in. She implores him to stay, then clutches his arm in a weird show of desperation - but he tells her to get lost and shoves her away from him. Prince Michael storms into the room at that exact moment and takes a swing at Dex, but Dex ducks and swiftly knocks Michael down with a sharp blow to the chest...and then the two idiots start wrestling around on the floor until Amanda yells at them to stop. She tells Dex she's reverted to her previous sentiment of being in love with Michael and orders him to leave...and after an exasperated Dex stomps off, Michael asks Amanda if there really is going to be a wedding. She blushingly says yes, and the two start smooching in earnest.
Dex comes upon Yuri and a cadre of shady looking men unloading weapons concealed in wooden wine boxes and demands to know what's going on here. Yuri responds by knocking him out, then orders one of the shady men to tell Dex's driver that he was taken to the airport so that no one starts looking for him. The men cackle gleefully and vow that nothing will ruin tomorrow's carnage causing plot.
Blake chastises Adam for defying him and publicly canoodling with Claudia. He orders him to stop seeing her - otherwise he's going to force him to do something very dickish they're both going to regret. Adam's like, "Noooooo, daddy" and promises to immediately get in line and do whatever he decrees.
Adam fibs to Claudia when he tells her he bitchily declared to Blake that he'd never give her up. He breathily adds that one day soon he's going to have Denver Carrington and her.
As Alexis and Amanda get fussed over with manis/pedis/hair brushing, Alexis gives Amanda tips on how to walk down the aisle and hold her bouquet.
Jeff asks Lady Ashley if she has an answer to his proposal, and she says she does in fact have an answer: right after the wedding she's jetting back to Paris 'cause she's wary of marrying a guy who's still in love with his dead?/missing? ex-wife-turned-fiancee. Jeff stares sadly into space - but admits that, yeah, he still thinks about Fallon a lot.
Recast Fallon returns to the Los Angeles police precinct to ask the detective she spoke to previously if he happened to come across any missing bulletins for a young, fuzzy haired brunette, and he says no and that it doesn't look like anyone's searching for her. When he asks her what she's living on these days, she says she found money in her purse and pawned the jewelry she was wearing. And because she no longer wants to go by hey you, she gave herself a name: Randall Adams. She tells the detective she's also considering getting on a plane and going wherever the spirit moves her - somewhere that has mountains, for example. Hmm..
Sammy Jo gives Rita a makeover, then asks her to put on a blonde wig she bought after hitting every wig shop in town to find one that has Krystle's trademark side hair wings. Rita puts on the wig and says she really likes the new blonde her...and somehow doesn't seem to recall that she came face-to-face with her blonde twin Krystle, the very person Sammy Jo is trying to morph her into, three mere episodes ago. Sammy Jo is delighted by how startlingly similar she now looks to Krystle and says it's time she taught her uppity aunt a lesson.
Back in Moldavia, Dex is in a shack, tied up to a chair. When Yuri enters the shack, Dex asks what he's after, and Yuri smugly replies, "Destiny." Dex struggles against the ropes that bind him and shrieks, "Don't hurt Amandaaaaaaaaa!"
Amanda, meanwhile, is decked out in her royal wedding gown, posing with Alexis in front of Lady Ashley for a pre-ceremony photo shoot.
With everyone gathered in the chapel, Blake walks Amanda down the aisle...and as that's happening, rebels infiltrate the estate and easily incapacitate the army of bumbling red uniformed royal guards. Over in the shack, Dex struggles against the ropes and eventually manages to free himself. He bursts out of the shack and races in the direction of the chapel.
Prince Michael and Amanda exchange marriage vows...and a few seconds after the two are pronounced husband and wife, the rebels crash through the windows and doors and open fire with their machine guns. The guests are all, "The fuuuuuuuuuuuck???!!" before the menfolk heroically leap atop their loved ones to act as human barriers against the relentless spray of bullets. Yuri shoots King Galen at close range - just as Dex flies into the chapel and tackles him to the ground.
In the next scene, the gunfire has ceased...and amid an eerie silence, the wedding guests lay motionless on the floor, dead or playing dead [spoiler: mostly playing dead], while the rebels survey the slaughter.