Recap: Bobby pours himself a cup of coffee on the Southfork breakfast patio, then tells Ray and Donna that he's off to Brooktree to visit Pam. Once Bobby is out of earshot, Ray tells Donna he's surprised that Pam went so far off the deep end 'cause of how badly she wants a baby, then points out that they've never discussed the prospect of having children. Donna mulls that over for a few seconds and says she wouldn't mind having a cute cowboy like him (blech) - just as Miss Ellie emerges from the house and informs them that Jock just phoned to report that he's currently on his way to whatever fictional South American country has given him permission to look into how best the U.S. can exploit its oil supply. JR is in a meeting with the three biggest banks in Dallas, demanding a low interest rate on the insane amount of money they're discussing lending him so that he can hoard the entire Texas oil supply for the sole purpose of sticking it to Sue Ellen. The bankers agree to lend him $100 million and tell them they found a banker in Houston who might lend him the other $100 million he wants...and a few seconds later, Vaughn Leland makes as dramatic an entrance as someone who's as charisma-free as he is could possibly make. As JR stares at him in stunned bewilderment, Vaughn explains that he works at a Houston bank now, and that all the charges he faced after getting tangled up in JR's Southeast Asian fiasco last season have been dropped. Over at Brooktree, Pam laments to Bobby how badly she's let him down by suffering a suicidal meltdown - but he breezily tells her all that matters is that she get better. Pam miserably urges him to dump her in favor of someone who can give him a family, but Bobby insists that she's all the family he needs. When JR arrives at his Ewing Oil office, Sly informs him that Miss Ellie had called to pass along the update that Jock had a brief layover in Dallas before flying on to South America. JR snappishly asks Sly why she didn't let him know about this when he could have rushed to the airpot to bask in the glow of being in his daddy's presence, so she tells him she did call - but that the secretary at the bankers' office refused to interrupt their meeting by putting her through. JR glares at her and growls, "For your future reference, there is nothing more important than my daddy", then stomps to his office and gets a phone call from someone who offers him another million barrels of oil that had been earmarked for Clayton Farlow. Bobby arrives at his senate office and gets a call from Jeff Farraday, who offers to meet with him at a public park tomorrow morning. He tells Bobby that for $2,000, he'll provide more information about Kristin's baby, then instructs him to come to the park alone. Katherine pops by Brooktree to visit Pam, and Pam says that while she's delighted to finally meet her, she's sooooo embarrassed that she's currently in a mental hospital. Katherine says she needn't be embarrassed, 'cause after all they're sisters, then says she's about to return to New York to get back to her TV job. Pam looks alarmed and goes, "No! You can't!" and says she really really wants to learn from her what it was like to grow up having Rebecca as a mom, and Katherine looks weirded out by her distress and assures her that they'll have plenty of time to catch up. Vaughn Leland drops by JR's office and tells him he's not sure why he'd want to do business with him, given the legal problems he faced when he got entangled in last season's Southeast Asian scheme. JR urges him to put that in the past, but Vaughn's like, "Uh, my wife left me as a result of that fiasco" ... so JR reminds him that he made a lot of money on that scheme, then vows to do whatever it takes to repair their friendship. He urges Vaughn to give him twenty-four hours to demonstrate what a good friend he can be, and Vaughn says he'd better come up with a spectacular case for his financial assistance - otherwise no loan. At Southfork, the Ewings gather together for pre-dinner drinks...and Dave Culver is making a guest appearance, updating everyone on Jock's South American venture. He explains that since there's so much turmoil in the Middle East, the U.S. government is looking to drill for oil elsewhere and figured 'why not start exploiting another part of the world?' Dave proudly adds, "The U.S. government is giving Jock a big job to do", and Bobby and JR chuckle about how this implausible government request must surely remind Jock of his wildcattin' days of yore. Dave concurs, then tells JR that the government is looking for other oilmen to join them, and JR kind of winces at the prospect of giving up his cushy lifestyle and says he'd love to, were it not essential for him to remain at the helm of Ewing Oil to make sure it's being run properly...and says this as though Operation Hoard Texas's Oil Supply, a maneuver designed to get Sue Ellen to return John Ross to Southfork, is a reasonable manner in which to be running a multi-million dollar oil company. Miss Ellie and Donna discuss their plan to buy some new bedroom furniture for Pam in order to "give her a lift" when she returns home. Miss Ellie then remarks on how much she misses Jock...and when Donna's all, "Wuh? I never thought of you being so dependent on a man", Miss Ellie explains that she's soooo in love with her husband that she likes being around him as much as possible. She then asks Donna how things with Ray are going, and Donna says that he's visibly changing from the dimwitted yokel she married into a half-Ewing who's obsessed with measuring up to the paternal side of his family. She adds that she has a feeling that their dull-as-fuck marriage may not last forever. Vaughn meets up with an old buddy and oil expert, Lloyd Bettinger, to pick his brain about what he predicts will happen with the price of oil. Lloyd tells him that it's most likely going to rise for the short term, but then dramatically drop within a couple of weeks. Vaughn "hypothetically" asks what someone should do if he were sitting on five million barrels of oil, and Lloyd says that if he couldn't sell it within two weeks, he'd better be prepared to hold onto it for at least a year. Vaughn grins to himself, then calls JR and proposes they get together later. Bobby meets with Jeff Farraday, who tells him he's a former lover of Kristin's, and that her baby was in his custody at the time of her death. He says he has zero desire to take care of the tot and wants Bobby to arrange for him to be reunited with his family, cryptically adding that this "family" is someone he's quite familiar with. Bobby scrunches his face confusedly as he hands Jeff a wad o' cash totalling $2,000, and Jeff hands him a large envelop with copies of checks that Kristin received from Jordan Lee (which...ick). He tells Bobby he'll call him in a few days. Walter Sherr has convened another meeting with Ray and Punk Anderson to discuss the San Antonio housing project, and Punk says he's going to have to decline 'cause he's been summoned to South America to work on the big oil project that Jock was tapped to lead. Ray wishes Punk well, then tells Walter he needs to consider whether or not he has the smarts and/or the dough to enter into this project on his own. JR drops by Afton's apartment and gives her a disgusting new assignment: hit the sheets with an important (aged) banker in exchange for a recording contract, adding "You take care of that banker, and I'll take care of you." A few seconds later, Vaughn Leland arrives for what he assumes is a private meeting with JR, but looks pleasantly surprised by the sight of Afton. He asks JR why in blazes he should secure such a huge loan for him, so JR promises a lucrative finder's fee and "other perks" ... and says that last thing while motioning over at Afton (which...ick). Vaughn perks up at the prospect of a naked romp with the buxom blonde and happily retorts, "We have a deal!", leaving Afton looking less than thrilled about JR pimping her out to this smarmy fossil. Sue Ellen is horseback riding when she comes upon Clayton standing in a field, staring into space. When she asks him whassup, he motions towards a building and tells her that Dusty was born in the ranch hands' house over yonder, and that he tore down the house he shared with his wife 'cause he couldn't bear to live there after she had died inside of it (from illness) while he was away on business. Sue Ellen clucks sympathetically and says, if it cheers him up, she's sooooo in love with Dusty...and Clayton says she's the best thing to happen to him, and that a man needs someone to care for. Rebecca and Katherine drop by Cliff's office so that Katherine can say goodbye before heading back to New York. She says she feels kinda bad about not staying to support Pam, then makes a weird remark about what a swoony hunk Bobby is. As Cliff tries not to retch in his mouth about being continually irritated about a Barnes being married to a Ewing, Katherine glances around the office and asks her brother what happened to the antique cabinet her father once had, so Cliff tells her he had it put in storage when the office was redecorated. Katherine looks visibly miffed that he took it upon himself to make decor changes in her father's office and murmurs about how the antique cabinet always seemed to belong there...then shakes it off and brusquely tells Rebecca that they need to head to the airport now. JR admonishes Franklin Horner for dragging his feet on finalizing his loan request, but Franklin says he needs confirmation from Vaughn Leland before he can sign off on the $200 million loan. Pam tells Dr. Conrad she feels as though she's wasting her time at Brooktree, and is now whitewashing her suicide attempt as her just being in a terrible mood that day. She concedes that it may have had something to do with John Ross no longer needing her love and care now that he's at Southern Cross with Sue Ellen...then hastily adds that returning him to his mother was the right thing to do. She mutely contemplates her own statement for a few seconds before spacily lamenting, "No one ever did that for me", then explains to Dr. Conrad that for years she thought her mother was dead, and only learned that she was still among the living after hiring an investigator to look into it. Dr. Conrad looks intrigued by the tale and asks her how she feels at this very moment, so Pam says she thought that finding her mother would ease her loneliness, but has determined that she continues to feel empty. She adds that she highly doubts she'd feel this empty if she had a child of her own to love and care fore...and if that's impossible, she truly doesn't see the point of living. Bobby tries to get in touch with Jordan Lee - but in vain, 'cause he can't get past the stonewalling from Lee's secretary. Lucy and a guy pal named Scott arrive at a house party thrown by their friend, Sandy Waring. Another partygoer, Beth, rushes over to say hey...and when Scott ambles off to get them some drinks, Lucy is shocked when she sees that Mitch is in attendance at the party, amiably chatting it up with Frank Waring. She sashays over, just as Mitch is telling Frank that he's beginning to warm to the idea of specializing in plastic surgery. Frank greets Lucy and wanders off...and Lucy tells Mitch she's pleasantly surprised, while deeply mystified, that he knows the wealthy doctor. Mitch explains that he's considering interning at Frank's hospital, a decision that will keep him in Dallas - but then emphasizes that he'll still never be as rich as the Ewings, even if he does opt for a more lucrative speciality. Lucy pretends as though money suddenly doesn't matter to her and tells him that all she cares about is getting back together...'cause I guess being married to a future renowned plastic surgeon seems way more impressive than being the wife of a lowly medical researcher. Over at Casa Yokel, Ray is tapping numbers on his calculator and looking dismayed...and when Donna asks him whassup, he tells her he's trying to figure out whether or not he should enter into a development project with Walter Sherr. Donna asks if she can help, then expresses yet again that she's not wild about losing the cowboy simpleton she thought she married. Ray says he actually enjoys all the "wheelin' and dealin'" 'cause it makes him feel less yokelly, and Donna assures him that she doesn't want him to fail...and to that end, proposes that she come in on the deal as a silent partner. Ray weakly points out that marriage and business don't mix - but when Donna points out that she considers her money [all of it earned by her late rich husband] their money, he agrees. Miss Ellie arrives at Southern Cross by chopper...and Sue Ellen and Clayton happily greet her and steer her over to the gazebo so they can all have a seat and share her joyous visit with John Ross. A few seconds later, Dusty pulls Clayton aside to tell him that the Galveston refinery hasn't received its expected shipment of crude oil, and for some odd reason he can't get answers from the distributor. Clayton furrows his brows and says they need that oil shipment asap, and that he's going to look into what the problem is. Vaughn Leland drops by Ewing Oil to deliver the loan papers to JR. JR chortles delightedly and asks him how he's getting [it] on with Afton, so Vaughn says she's gorgeous, though a bit cool with him, and JR's like, "Hmm...that's surprising" and assures him she'll warm to him eventually. JR begins signing the loan papers and remarks on how confident he is that the price of oil will continue to rise indefinitely, 'cause it'd really suck if he were stuck with five million barrels of oil he can't unload. He adds that if he weren't able to make the payments, it would mean that the Houston bank that Vaughn works for would, in essence, own Ewing Oil...and Vaughn's just like, "Oh? Is that a fact?" and chuckles to himself as he watches JR continues to sign the loan papers and seal his self-inflicted fate. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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Recap: Sue Ellen and Dusty make their triumphant return to Southern Cross after the custody hearing that went in Sue Ellen's favor. Sue Ellen kisses Dusty and happily says it feels as though an enormous weight has been lifted from her, then rushes up to John Ross's nursery to cuddle him and declare that no one is ever going to take him away from her. JR is on the phone with Jock, assuring his daddy that he has a plan to get John Ross back onto Southfork. He details his nefarious (but precarious sounding) plan, which entails buying up every drop of oil from local refineries and then making a deal with Clayton/Dusty to sell them the oil in exchange for returning John Ross to Southfork, grimly adding that Sue Ellen's presence at the ranch is optional...even though Miss Ellie seemed pretty stern during the previous episode about how she didn't want the tot back at Southfork without his mother to take care him of him. Jock's like 'sounds good to me!' and seems totes A-OK with JR moving ahead with his insanity-laden scheme. Over at The Store, Bobby is talking to Pam's co-workers as they scratch their heads confusedly about where she could have possibly disappeared to. A police detective is also present, listening in on the conversation and taking notes, and Bobby tells him that he and his wife have no secrets from each other and that he can only assume something is very wrong. The detective tells him that the Dallas police force is handling this as a special case 'cause of the Ewings' wealth and power, and assures him that every patrol car is out looking for Pam [I guess in lieu of directing any of their resources towards any other crimes or law enforcement issues associated with the city's non-wealthy residents]. While lunching out, Katherine is gabbling to Cliff and Rebecca about her New York based TV career and that she currently has no time for a man in her life. She then turns her attention to Cliff and asks him about his life, so he tells her that up until recently he was enmeshed in politics [and constantly trying to even the score with the Ewings] - and Rebecca jumps in and proudly announces that she just appointed Cliff as the new CEO of Wentworth Tool & Die. Katherine looks visibly miffed by that news and remarks on how Wentworth Tool & Die was her daddy's first and most beloved company, and Rebecca breezily retorts that the late Herbert would, no doubt, be happy to hear that she tapped her long lost son to take over the reins of the family business. JR summons Sly and Phyllis to his office to order them to drop everything so they can look into 1) the refineries that are owned by the Farlow clan, and 2) which companies supply oil to those refineries. Bobby has returned to his senate office and continues to worriedly wring his hands about Pam's disappearance. He receives a call from the police detective, assuring him he'll keep him informed about any new developments in The Case of the Missing Rich Ewing Wife. Over lunch, Afton tells Mitch he's a dumbass for turning down Frank Waring's $5,000 check for Heimlich-ing his wife - but Mitch argues that it would have been unethical of him to have accepted the cash, not least 'cause he took an oath to help people whenever they might require medical intervention. Afton grumbles about him being satisfied with living in poverty for the rest of his life, and Mitch somehow refrains from pointing out that, he's a fucking doctor now and is therefore not likely to struggle for cash in the long term and informs his sister that Frank Waring has summoned him for a second meeting that he's strongly considering attending. Bobby gets a call that Pam has finally been located - but when the detective gives him further details, he pales, is all, "OMG!", and rushes out of his office. A crowd has gathered around a tall building to gawk up at Pam, who's standing atop the roof and looking as if she might leap to her death at any moment. Bobby arrives a few seconds later and races into the building and up to the roof, where two policeman are uselessly standing several feet away from Pam. Bobby's all, "Pam! Don't jump!" then implores her to turn around while doing her best to not lean backwards, and she cries, "Nooooooo!!" as he runs towards her and catches her before she's able to slip off the ledge. He then kneels down and cradles her in his arms, assuring her that everything is going to be OK. At Southfork, Lucy is gabbling at Miss Ellie about her separation from Mitch when Bobby calls to inform his mother that Pam nearly leaped off a tall building, adding that she's currently chillin' at Dallas Memorial. Miss Ellie's all, "Ack!" and says that she (and Lucy) will be right there. Bobby is sitting by Pam's bedside when Miss Ellie and Lucy arrive at Dallas Memorial. Bobby tells them it's pretty clear that Pam requires psychiatric care...and that Dr. Danvers has recommended she be checked into a special mental hospital called Brooktree, aka a local facility that's run by a highly regarded psychiatric physician named Dr. Dagmara Conrad. Sly presents JR with the information he requested about the various refineries that supply oil to the Farlow clan and notes how much he seems to be enjoying the underhandedness of hogging the entire Texas oil supply. JR replies, "Whatever makes my daddy happy makes me happy" and agrees that, yep, he definitely does enjoy scheming as a means of forcing the Farlows to dump Sue Ellen so that she'll have no choice but to sheepishly return to Southfork with John Ross - and somehow fails to take into consideration that, since Judge Packer ruled that she's now going to be receiving $6,000 from him for monthly spousal/child support, she's not exactly without alternate housing options. The next morning, Bobby heads back to the hospital to check in on Pam, while Miss Ellie telephones Rebecca to ask her if she wants to meet up...and Rebecca says she'd loooooove for the two of them to get together and catch up. Back at Southern Cross, Sue Ellen sashays over to the pool and is enjoying a morning swim when Dusty limps over with Clayton, who applauds his progress as he continues to recover from his physical injuries. Sue Ellen's all, "Come in, the water's fine!", then pulls him into the pool, and the two smoochingly chuckle while Clayton nods approvingly at their PDA. JR is meeting with an oil distributor in Houston, who tells him he's willing to ship him all the oil he'd normally allocate to Clayton Farlow. He remarks on how pissed off Clayton is going to be when his regular shipment fails to arrive with zero explanation, and a chuckling JR's like, "Heh. No shit" and urges him to keep mum about his hare-brained scheme. Pam is sitting up in her hospital bed, looking as despondent as she's been looking during the last few episodes. Dr. Conrad enters the room and asks her how she's feeling, and she sadly mutters, "Like nothing matters" and admits that she's been feeling empty for a long time...maybe even as far back as when her mother abandoned her as a baby. She tears up and cries, "I have these feelings, and I don't know why!", and Dr. Conrad says she hopes they can put their heads together and figure it all out. Miss Ellie and Rebecca are strolling in a park, commiserating about Pam's deteriorating mental state. Rebecca sheepishly says she knows that abandoning her daughter all those years ago is at the root of her mental anguish, and Miss Ellie's like, "Well d'yuh", but delicately assures her that Pam is in good hands with Dr. Conrad...and that she's keeping her fingers crossed that she can work through whatever deep-seated angst is plaguing her to the point of wanting to leap off of a tall building. During a consultation at Brooktree Hospital, Dr. Conrad tells Bobby that her first order of business is to figure out why Pam is filled with so much self-hatred...and to that end, she strongly advises that Pam check herself into the hospital voluntarily so she can focus solely on examining her troubled feelings. Bobby breezily says he thinks that all Pam really needs is a baby to take care of - but Dr. Conrad points out that his wife's desperate need for a child is a symptom of deeper problems, and that a baby probably shouldn't be burdened with the job of fulfilling its mother's need to be loved. Bobby chews on those words of wisdom for a few seconds, then promises to discuss with Pam the urgent need to voluntarily commit herself. Mitch tells Frank Waring that he intends to devote his professional life to research, and that he's never given too much of a hoot about earning vast sums of money. Frank asks him if he's ever considered specializing in plastic surgery...and when Mitch makes a 'seriously?' face, Frank hastily explains that the field is not limited to frivolous surgeries like nose jobs and boob lifts, but rather about offering a better quality of life to burn victims and disfigured people. He tells Mitch he'd love to sponsor him as an intern at his hospital, and Mitch mulls that over and promises to reconsider his specialty. Miss Ellie is about to climb into a cab when Cliff and Katherine arrive in front of Rebecca's building and wander over so that Cliff can say hey, and Katherine can get introduced to the Ewing matriarch. Miss Ellie exchanges quick pleasantries with the two, then says she has to rush off, leaving Rebecca to fill them in about Pam's meltdown. Bobby returns to Southfork with a still-spacey looking Pam, and she ambles into the house and upstairs to their bedroom. JR meets with his banker, Franklin Horner, to set up a series of 90 day loans totalling around $200 million. Franklin scrunches his face worriedly and says that he doesn't think his bank can cover such a huge loan, and JR breezily says he has lots of collateral he can put up. After a long snooze, Pam wakes up and finds Bobby sitting across the room in a chair, staring worriedly at her. She apologizes for causing him stress by nearly jumping off a building, and he tells her that after talking to Dr. Conrad, he thinks she needs to voluntarily commit herself to Brooktree. Pam shuts her eyes and murmurs, "I'm tired", but then half-heartedly agrees to consider getting some desperately needed psychiatric care. JR continues to meet with various oil distributors, who collectively agree to withhold shipments to anyone but him [which kinda seems bad for business, but whatevs], to the tune of five million barrels of oil. Bobby gets a letter addressed to his office that contains a photo of Kristin and her spawn, and the anonymous sender includes in the note that he'll call him at noon with additional information. At the Cattlemen's Club, Ray and Punk Anderson are meeting with a real estate developer named Walter Sherr to discuss launching a new housing project in San Antonio. Ray says he's not sure if he can offer financing for that 'cause he currently has a lot of other commitments, and Punk says he needs time to think over if he really truly wants to get involved in a brand new venture. At noon, the anonymous letter sender (Jeff Farraday) calls Bobby from a pay phone to tell him that the baby in the photo is named Christopher Shepard, and that if he wants to know any more than that, it's going to cost him $2,000. JR phones Jock to tell him he has all of the oil distributors locked up, then gets another call with a commitment to ship an additional 100K barrels. Yeesh, sounds like he's going to be saddled with a crazy amount of oil. JR assures Jock that it's simply a matter of time before Operation Hoard Texas's Oil Supply pays off and John Ross is safely back at Southfork...and when Jock expresses his concern about the price of oil dropping and possibly bankrupting Ewing Oil, JR laughing assures him he's confident that oil will continue to rise in value indefinitely. Sue Ellen tells Clayton she's grateful to him for allowing her to crash at his ranch, and he says he's more than happy to help out the love of his son's life, then tells her that Dusty is in the projection room. A puzzled Sue Ellen ambles down the hall and finds Dusty watching old film footage of himself bronc riding at a rodeo. He hastily turns off the projector when he sees that she's entered the room...and after she weakly insists that one day he'll be able to ride like that again, he hastily changes the subject and invites her to join him for a walk and gaze up at the stars. Pam arrives at Brooktree (with Bobby) to check herself in. Bobby asks Dr. Conrad how long his wife's treatment is going to take, and adds that he heard about medicines that can help speed up the mental health recovery process. Dr. Conrad explains to the numb-brain that she wants to help Pam find the root cause of her anguish, not simply treat the symptoms...and Bobby chews on that for a few seconds before kissing Pam goodbye. She blankly responds, "Bye" and wanders into the hospital with Dr. Conrad, leaving Bobby staring worriedly after her. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! Recap: After returning to Southfork following JR's failed attempt to abduct John Ross from the Southern Cross ranch, a furious Miss Ellie rails at her eldest son for using her love for her grandson to try to manipulate her into doing something illegal, then admonishes him for frequently using people to achieve his aims. JR responds by whining about how desperate he is to extract his son from Southern Cross, where his mother is living in sin with a cowboy who can hardly walk, and return him to his rightful home...and when Miss Ellie asks why Sue Ellen would prefer a crippled cowboy to him, he just kind of shrugs and breezily assumes it's 'cause she's crazy. Miss Ellie tells him she doesn't approve of John Ross living at Southfork without his mother 'cause she's correctly assuming that JR would fob off the day-to-day parenting of the child to a nanny and/or other family members. JR's like, "Well d'yuh" and then comes right out and says he figured that she and Jock could step up and raise him, much like they raised Lucy...and says this as though their horrible parenting skills didn't turn the obnoxious imp into an over-indulged monster. Miss Ellie nixes the idea of raising a second grandchild, then shoots JR a long stink-eye and says, "I saw a part of you I didn't like very much today", makes clear that she has zero tolerance for his underhanded shit, and declares that she's going to take it upon herself to keep him in line as long as Jock is out of town [which, unbeknownst to her, is now a sad, permanent reality]. Lawyer friend Jack tells Bobby that an adoption is out of the question right now, and Bobby earnestly argues that he's been to every adoption agency in Dallas and is running out of hope for a legal adoption. Jack looks alarmed and warns him to not even think about buying a baby on the black market, not least 'cause the Ewing family is too public a clan to ever be able to hide something as salient as a newly acquired child. He urges Bobby to suck it up and go through the standard waiting period like everyone else, but Bobby's like, "Nooo! I can't wait!" before exiting the office. Over at the Southern Cross ranch, Sue Ellen's lawyer, Arthur Elrod, is discussing with her and Dusty the upcoming custody hearing, which is likely to be put on the court calendar before the end credits roll. After the consultation, Arthur privately tells Sue Ellen that if there's anything particularly sordid in her past that could be used against her in court, he should prolly know about it, and that she can disclose it to him during a private tête-à-tête sometime when Dusty and Clayton aren't around. Bobby arrives at The Store to pick up Pam after work...and when he sees that she's not in her office, Jackie tells him she went up to the third floor (where all the baby stuff is). A few seconds later, Bobby finds Pam staring catatonically at a wind-up toy and spacily muttering about how the new cribs have arrived at The Store...and he's like 'oh fer fuuuuuuuck's sake' [sorry, that was me, projecting] and tells her it's time to go home now. Arthur Elrod arrives at the courthouse to schedule a court date with with JR's lawyer, Howard Barker, and is surprised to see that JR has accompanied him on this boring errand. JR manages to say with a straight face that he tagged along 'cause he wanted to see exactly how the wheels of justice turn, then visibly perks up when he learns that Judge Bill Packer has been selected to preside over his custody case. Howard warns JR that, as an officer of the court, he wouldn't look too kindly on him doing anything to influence Judge Packer, but JR just chuckles and assures him that Packer is far too honest a man to be swayed into demonstrating any kind of bias. Cliff admires his fancy new office at Wentworth Tool & Dye headquarters and tells a beaming Rebecca that suddenly being appointed CEO is going to take some getting used to. He then sits at his large desk and fiddles with the phone, which results in him accidentally buzzing his secretary, Marie. Rebecca tells Cliff she's going leave him to his work and heads out...and a few seconds later, Cliff summons Marie, for real this time, and asks her to help schedule a meeting with the company's comptroller, Mr. Forest, so that they can comb through the company's books and see whassup with the finances. Downtown, Punk Anderson hands Ray two checks: one for the original $3 million he borrowed from Donna to invest in the Lubbock housing project, and another for his first payout of $100,000. After Punk and Pat Powers amble off, Ray hands Donna the $3 million check with a thanks for the loan, then says he's going to use his 100K payout to open what he calls "a development account". When Donna wearily asks what that is, he happily says it'll be "ready money" he can use whenever a good deal comes up, adding that he's sooooo happy to have his own pot of money, 'cause having to dip into his wife's savings to make an investment with Punk was pretty humiliating. Donna reacts by staring back at him with a combination of irritation and concern, instead of lightening up, untying the knot in her panties, and just being happy that this housing investment resulted in a nice cash windfall for her husband, who seems super excited to be accumulating his own wealth for the first time in his life. Sue Ellen summons Arthur Elrod to Southern Cross while Dusty and Clayton are in town so that she can reveal all of the unflattering behavior she's exhibited in past seasons that JR and his lawyer could use as mudslinging fodder during the custody hearing:
She snarlingly adds that JR has hit the sheets with every willing and available woman in Dallas - including her own sister - and that she's far more fit to parent John Ross. Arthur tells her that she and JR exchanging insults isn't going to be helpful during the custody hearing, then points out that, at the end of the day, she's a privileged wife who cheated on her rich and powerful husband...and that since Texas is "the last bastion of male chauvinism", he can't be 100% confident that the judge will rule in her favor. Pam laments to Bobby how increasingly hopeless she's feeling about not getting a baby in the near future - but Bobby half-heartedly argues that there's lots of hope with the various adoption agencies they've been in contact with, then suggests she see a psychiatrist about her neverending 'I wanna baby!' depression. Pam's just like 'meh' 'bout that last thing, and says that talking to a mental health professional isn't going to change the sad reality that they're never going to have a biological child (or a short enough wait for an adopted one). JR arrives at the Doubletree Hotel restaurant with Afton and looks faux surprised when he sees that Judge Bill Packer is there, lunching alone. An unsuspecting Judge Packer looks delighted to see JR, and is openly smitten with Afton when JR introduces her. JR starts nattering to him about a lucrative business opportunity he'd like to bring him in on - a brazenly sketchy move for all parties concerned, so it's unclear why Judge Packer gets so excited about it - and then JR gets a pretend call (from Sly) so he can fib to Judge Packer that he has to leave because of a sudden emergency, and hopes he wouldn't mind seeing that his buxom friend Afton gets home safely. Hmm hmm.. While meeting with the very strange Mr. Forest, Cliff is intrigued to learn that Wentworth Tool & Die is just one of several companies under the umbrella of Wentworth Industries...and that, compared to Wentworth Mining, Wentworth Natural Gas, and Wentworth Machine Parts, it's pretty small potatoes. He asks Mr. Forest why he's never heard of these companies, and Mr. Forest is like, "Dunno", then adds that the late Herbert Wentworth generally liked to keep a low profile. Afton is performing in the Stardrift Lounge - and, as is usual whenever there's footage of her singing in this ugly dive, her crooning goes on for what seems like a really loooooooong fuckin' time. When she sees that JR has entered the restaurant, she takes a break and sashays over to the bar to say hey. He grins lasciviously and asks her how it went with Judge Packer, and she tells him that they just sat around chatting in the hotel restaurant until he called her a cab. She then complains about how tired she is of singing in this decrepit shit-box night after night and wants something more lucrative, but JR snarls, "After today, you're lucky to be working at all. I only pay off on results" and storms out. Mitch, who has witnessed the exchange from across the room, wanders over to his sister and tells her it sickens him to think of her and JR coupling up for whatever unholy reason they've joined forces, and she growls at him to leave her the hell alone. Elsewhere in the Stardrift Lounge, a woman sitting at a table with her friends starts choking on a chicken bone, and Mitch rushes over and administers the Heimlich manoeuvre. When the woman spits out the chicken bone and resumes breathing, her friends thank Mitch for saving her life, and Afton makes it a point to tell everyone at the table that their friend's saviour's name is Mitch Cooper. Bobby finds Pam laying despondently atop their bed...and when he pokes at her to tell her some positive news about a possible adoption, she remains limply catatonic. He quickly gets on the phone and calls Dr. Danvers, imploring him to make a house call to Southfork asap. After the commercial break, Dr. Danvers tells Bobby (along with Miss Ellie, Donna, and Ray) that he gave Pam a mild sedative, and that her laying in a catatonic state problems are emotional, not physical. He recommends that she continue with her normal activities, and that a renewed enthusiasm for her job might help improve her general mood. Over another home-cooked dinner, Cliff asks Rebecca why she didn't tell him she owned the little known (yet extremely profitable) conglomerate, Wentworth Industries. She sheepishly tells him she was afraid to reveal too soon that she's a very rich widow 'cause she wanted him to love her for her...and Cliff chews on that for a few seconds and says it's just as well, given that he's been blinded by money all his life and has made boneheaded decisions as a result. He then promises to run Wentworth Tool & Die to the best of his abilities and to squash his every impulse in moving too far too fast. Afton drops by Mitch's condo to tell him that the husband of the woman he saved from choking, Frank Waring, wants to meet with him to personally thank him for his lifesaving actions. When Mitch hems and haws about not wanting/needing to be thanked, Afton says she noticed that Mrs.Waring was wearing some pretty valuable looking jewelry, and that being thanked by a rich man could only be a good thing. She hands him a piece of paper with an address on it and says she took the liberty of arranging a meeting 'cause she knew he'd hem and haw about setting one up himself, then hugs him and recommends that he wear something nice. Miss Ellie is breakfasting on the Southfork patio when JR cheerily mentions that he's looking to get Judge Bill Packer, who's presiding over his custody case, interested in a contrived, mutually-beneficial business deal. Miss Ellie wonders aloud if that's legal [doubtful - but at the very least, I'm sure it'd be sternly frowned upon by the Dallas Bar Association] as JR rushes off to work. A few seconds later, Bobby and Pam amble towards the patio to say hey to Miss Ellie, and Pam says she's so embarrassed about her catatonic state last night, then vows to put all of her energy into her day job to make up for her recent slacking. Miss Ellie blandly says she really just cares that she's OK now, and a relieved looking Bobby offers to drive Pam to the office, then pick her up at the end of the day and treat her to dinner in the city. Mitch arrives at Dr. Frank Waring's swanky estate and is ushered by the maid to the spacious backyard, where Frank and his wife Beverly are having breakfast. Frank thanks Mitch for saving his wife's life and hands him a check for $5,000 as a gesture of appreciation - but Mitch refuses to accept it, then explains that he just graduated from medical school and is hoping to specialize in research. Frank looks intrigued by the young man's chosen career path and says he'd loooove to further discuss this area of medicine with him at a future date. That evening, JR tells Miss Ellie he hopes to soon have Judge Bill Packer in his hip pocket after bringing him in on a lucrative business deal...and says this as though she didn't just chide him at the beginning of the episode for the shitty way he's always using people for his own nefarious purposes. A few seconds later, Howard Barker calls to inform JR that the custody hearing has been scheduled for tomorrow, and JR frowns unhappily at that news. At breakfast the next morning, Miss Ellie forbids JR to sling mud at Sue Ellen in court, and JR whines about how miffed he is that he doesn't have more time "to work on Judge Packer" - then agrees that, yeah, he'd prefer his young son not find out what a tramp his mother is. He chides Pam once again for helping Sue Ellen abduct his son and snarls at her to mind her own bidness, and Bobby growls at him to shut it...then stares concernedly after Pam when she spacily heads off to work. Cliff and Rebecca are about to drive off somewhere when a cab pulls up to the apartment building and an attractive young woman climbs out and yoo hoos at Rebecca. Rebecca rushes over and greets her happily, then ushers her over to where Cliff's standing and introduces her as his half-sister, Katherine...and the two half-siblings grin at each other. Custody hearing! Howard Barker tells the judge that JR simply wants his son raised in a wholesome environment, insisting that Sue Ellen abandoned her husband and is exposing the tot to immoral conditions at the Southern Cross ranch. Arthur Elrod interjects to inform the judge that there's nothing immoral going on between Sue Ellen and Dusty, on account of the two have separate living quarters and have not engaged in any clothes-less hanky panky since her arrival at the estate. Arthur says he can provide depositions from servants corroborating that claim, along with medical records from several highly regarded doctors...and when Judge Packer is all, "Wuh? Doctors?", Arthur pauses to glance over at Sue Ellen, who glances over at Dusty, who curtly nods to give Arthur the green light to proceed with his bombshell statement. Arthur explains to Judge Packer that Dusty was recently in a terrible plane crash that resulted in some below-the-waist injuries that preclude him from walking without the aid of a cane and having the penile ability to knock boots with Sue Ellen. He hands Judge Packer Dusty's medical reports, somberly emphasizing that Sue Ellen's love for Dusty is very pure, pronouncing, "She did not leave her husband for reasons of the flesh." JR's all 'the fuck?' and stares over at Sue Ellen in stunned bewilderment as Judge Packer abruptly calls for a recess so that he can privately determine how Dusty's flaccid member is going to impact his ruling on John Ross's custody. Bobby gets a call from a concerned Jackie, who tells him that no one at The Store has seen Pam in awhile...and that she seemingly disappeared after she went upstairs to Liz's office (but then never arrived). Bobby's all, "Ack!" and says he'll be right over. After the recess, Judge Packer orders JR to issue to Sue Ellen a monthly alimony payment of $5,000, then decrees that John Ross will remain in her custody and that she'll receive an additional $1,000 in child support. A thrilled Sue Ellen shoots Dusty a happy grin, while a visibly miffed JR glares over at her hatefully. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! Recap: Bobby, Ray, and Donna are at the Dallas airport to welcome Miss Ellie home from her European vacay. When they ask why Jock isn't with her, she says he was unexpectedly summoned to D.C. by Dave Culver and someone from the State Department for some unspecified reason. She then changes the subject to whassup with John Ross...and when Bobby tells her that Sue Ellen took him with her when she moved in with Dusty on the Southern Cross ranch, the matriarch scrunches her face confusedly and says she doesn't get how it was even possible for the child to be physically removed from his Southfork home. Dusty greets Sue Ellen when she and John Ross return to San Angelo after attending Kristin's funeral in Albuquerque. She tells him that her mother didn't take Kristin's death very well and blamed her for her sister's untimely demise, the logic being that if Sue Ellen hadn't left JR, Kristin wouldn't have shown up at Southfork all high and self-destructive...which I think is highly debatable. Dusty assures her that Kristin's death wasn't her fault, and that Kristin changed for the worse when she began dabbling with PCP, and Sue Ellen responds by whimpering, "Hold me" ... and then gets so amorously carried away during their smoochfest that she momentarily forgets about Dusty's penile impairment. She abruptly pulls away and mutters, "Sorry", which...awkward. Over at Southfork, Miss Ellie and Donna are cooking chilli together while Ray tells Bobby how awesomely things are going with the Lubbock housing project. Miss Ellie smilingly tells Donna that Ray has the makings of a successful businessman, but Donna just kind of shrugs and says she liked him fine when he was a simple ranch hand. A few seconds later, JR returns home and kisses his mama hello, and she informs him that Jock made an unexpected trip to D.C. and that he'll be calling home this evening. Over a home cooked dinner, Cliff tells Rebecca he's thinking seriously of leaving Dallas 'cause, after burning multiple bridges, he's given up all hope of finding decent employment. Rebecca reminds him he has a law degree and lots of experience, but Cliff says that in Dallas a person needs money to make money, something he doesn't have...and Rebecca reacts by mutely staring back at him, her face scrunched concernedly. During dinner at the Southern Cross ranch, Sue Ellen is visibly bored by Dusty's/Clayton's conversation about ranch stuff and asks Dusty if he'd be interested in driving to downtown San Angelo to do something fun. Clayton makes a wuh? face and primly tells her that during the week the Farlows make it a rule to go to bed early and rise early - but Dusty half-heartedly agrees that a mid-week date is a nice idea. A deflated Sue Ellen says she's abruptly changed her mind about wanting to go out and will turn in early after all...then carries John Ross up to his nursery and nuzzles him while staring wistfully into space. Miss Ellie is on the phone with Jock, getting an update on the reason for his D.C. trip, before she hands the phone to JR. She then seats herself at the dining table and informs everyone that Jock told her that the State Department signed an aid agreement with some unnamed South American country in exchange for permitting them to drill for oil...and Jock and a bunch of other Texas oilmen have been tapped to teach the South Americans how to become successful oilmen. [Sounds plausible, sure.] As Bobby, Pam, Donna, and Ray titter about how exciting that is, an ashen-faced JR enters the room and tells everyone that Jock got mightily pissed when he learned that John Ross is living in San Angelo, and that he instructed him to get that boy back onto Southfork, fucking asap. The next day at Ewing Oil, Gerry Macon updates JR on Operation Stalk Sue Ellen, but mostly just complains about how hard it is to get any real intel from Southern Cross, on account of..
JR grimaces at the unhelpful report and tells Gerry he's fired for being basically useless. He then gets on the phone with Detective Harry McSween and tells him to come to his office asap 'cause he needs yet another favor. Lucy returns home and finds Miss Ellie cycling on a stationary bike, 'cause apparently she realized what terrible shape she's in while she was vacationing in Paris. She asks Lucy whassup with her and Mitch these days, and Lucy says, "Not much" and further explains that their differing opinions about money have made them incompatible as husband and wife. Miss Ellie clucks disapprovingly at her granddaughter's dumb life choice to get married so young instead of staying in school - but Lucy breezily says it wouldn't have mattered, 'cause she's pretty sure that she and Mitch would have fought about something else. She laments how Mitch will never be able to afford the kind of luxury lifestyle to which she's become accustomed, especially if - heaven forbid - they were to have children. While ambling together downtown, Rebecca tells Pam she's concerned about Cliff, who's so down on his luck that he's considering leaving Dallas altogether. Pam rolls her eyes and says that Cliff is always blaming his disappointments on Dallas, and that he's a big boy who'll no doubt figure out a way to land on his feet. Rebecca stares back at her with a shocked expression and says it's very uncharacteristic of her to be so unsympathetic towards her brother, so Pam says that these days she's pouring every ounce of energy into being depressed 24/7 over her inability to carry a spawn to term, then wails, "Oh momma! I want a baby soooooooo badly!" JR instructs Detective Harry McSween to travel to San Angelo, team up with a lieutenant friend he has on the local police force, and forcibly remove his son from the Southern Cross ranch and bring him to Southfork. Harry's like 'yeah sure, what could go wrong with me doing that?' and tells JR to "consider it done". Downtown, Bobby is talking to a lawyer friend named Jack about signing adoption papers so that he and Pam can acquire a much needed baby, and Jack assures him that, considering he's a Ewing and a state senator, everything should magically go in his favor. Back at Southfork, JR remarks on how unsurprised he is that Lucy split with Mitch, and assumes she dumped him 'cause of how little earning potential he has a future medical researcher. A few seconds later, Bobby returns home and goes upstairs to check on Pam and finds her laying in bed looking even more despondent than the generally despondent way she's been moping around lately. He coos about how concerned he is that she's so overly bummed about her barrenness, then says he met up with a lawyer friend who arranged for them to meet with an adoption agency tomorrow morning. Pam perks up at that development and tells him she's soooooo happy to get the ball rolling on starting a family. Afton is performing in the Stardrift Lounge, while - elsewhere in the restaurant - Mitch is celebrating his graduation from medical school with his fellow classmates. Afton takes a singing break to give her brother a congratulatory shout-out for his achievement, then sashays over to his table and gets introduced to his classmates. When Afton's boss (Milton) sends a bottle of champagne to the table, Mitch gets all prickly about the gesture and bitchily asks Afton if she's fooling around with him...and says if she is, she could do better. Afton reminds her doltish brother that he's in no position to be giving dating/relationship advice after so stupidly driving Lucy away 'cause of his aversion to rich people, then says that, much like Lucy, she has zero desire to be poor all her life. Mitch insists that he doesn't want to be poor either, but has no idea how to acquire wealth, and Afton tells him it's a simple matter of taking money from the ones who have it. While breakfasting on the patio, Pam tells everyone she's feeling better than she has in awhile 'cause she and Bobby have an appointment with an agency to inquire about adopting a baby. Everyone coos happily - except for JR, who translates their desire for a baby an attempt to replace John Ross, then snarls, "That's all this family needs, another half-breed." Ray takes that remark as a personal insult against his non-Miss-Ellie parentage and angrily springs up from his chair to confront his half-bro - but Donna restrains him while Miss Ellie orders the two idiots to squash their beef. A few seconds later, Punk Anderson arrives at Southfork to gush about how the units in the Lubbock housing project, which were financed by him, Ray, and some guy named Pat, are selling out. JR looks miffed that Ray has a piece of that lucrative real estate investment, and Punk nods proudly and tells Donna she married herself "a real businessman" ... and she reacts by contorting her face in an irked-like expression that makes it clear how unhappy she is with the metamorphosis her simpleton cowboy husband has undergone. Cliff is whining to Rebecca again about his challenge finding gainful, Dallas-based employment, so she says she may have something he could possibly sink his teeth into: she needs his help assessing the profit potential of a small company her late husband left her, then explains that the company produces parts for drilling rigs, and that it's currently being run by a panel of (old white men) trustees. Dusty meets up with Sue Ellen just as she's finishing a horseback ride. He reminisces about how much he used to looooooove riding before the plane crash that rendered him a hobbling eunuch, then says he wishes they had hooked up when he was young and penile-ly intact. Sue Ellen assures him she loves him very much, and that all that truly matters to her is that they're together. The adoption agency lady tells Bobby and Pam that, unfortunately, there's a shortage of available babies, and that the wait could be eighteen months or more. As the two dejectedly shuffle back to their car, Bobby apologizes to Pam for getting her hopes up, but then promises that they'll get their names in at every adoption agency in Dallas. Detective Harry McSween tells JR that, after assessing the situation in San Angelo, there's fuck-all he can do to sneak John Ross off of the Southern Cross ranch, not least 'cause the Farlows are a very powerful clan in San Angelo and have the San Remo sheriff in their pocket - much like the Ewings do with the rotund Braddock County sheriff. JR chews on that for a few seconds, then murmurs that maybe he could try a Trojan Horse type approach. JR returns home, finds Miss Ellie riding her stationary bicycle, and lays it on thick about how much he misses his son and can't help thinking about what the tot is doing these days in San Angelo. Miss Ellie wonders aloud if Sue Ellen would allow her to visit with her grandson, and JR faux brightens at that idea says she probably would, then urges her to call Sue Ellen to find out...and further suggests she take the Ewing chopper over to Southern Cross. Miss Ellie's like, "I'm on it!", then promptly gets on the phone with her daughter-in-law to arrange an impromptu trip to San Angelo. That evening, Pam thrashes around in bed 'cause of a bad dream, and Bobby gently wakes her and urges her to try to fall asleep without being so mentally tortured. In the kitchen, Miss Ellie tells Bobby she's sooooo excited to fly to San Angelo to see John Ross, and Bobby grimaces and remarks on the bad luck she's had with grandchildren. When Miss Ellie reminds him that he and Pam are about to adopt a baby, he tells her there's a two year wait at all of the Dallas adoption agencies, and that he doesn't think Pam can wait that length of time without going squirrelly in the process. The Ewing chopper lands on the Southern Cross ranch, and Miss Ellie climbs out of the aircraft and rushes across the lawn to give John Ross a big hug. Sue Ellen is happy to see her mother-in-law, but soon becomes alarmed when she sees that JR has also made the trip. She stomps over to give him the what-for for using his own mother to get to their son and warns him not to try anything. JR says it's impossible for him to do anything and motions at all of the armed yokels patrolling the grounds...and a few seconds later, a concerned looking Dusty and Clayton wander over to see whassup. Clayton introduces himself to Miss Ellie...and when she tells him she personally thinks that John Ross belongs at Southfork, he says that the young boy belongs wherever his mother is, smugly emphasizing that San Remo is not "Ewing country". JR, meanwhile, offers Sue Ellen a deal: hand over John Ross, and he'll divorce her immediately. Sue Ellen snarlingly declines that ultimatum and tells him that he'll never get full custody of their son. Cliff and Rebecca are holding a meeting with the trustees of Wentworth Tool & Die. Cliff marvels at the ineptitude of the trustees for 1) not seeking to expand their operation, and 2) not more aggressively peddling their equipment supplies. When he flatly says that the company should be doing a lot better than it is, Rebecca decrees that, as of right now, the company is going to be run by family. She politely dismisses the trustees...and after the men file out of the room, Rebecca tells Cliff that she wants him to run the company, a position that will require him to stay in Dallas. Cliff mulls that over for a few seconds, gently chides his mother for being so crafty, but then decides he likes the idea of earning a fat salary and being in charge. Back at Southern Cross, the pilot fires up the Ewing chopper as JR continues to play ball with John Ross. He tosses the ball nearer the helicopter and urges his son to go fetch it, then quickly picks him up, hands him to Miss Ellie, and tells her to make a run for it towards the chopper, assuring her that the armed yokels probably won't shoot her. Miss Ellie makes her way towards the chopper, but then stops and stares bewilderedly at JR and then at Sue Ellen, who's pleading with her to not steal her child...and Dusty and Clayton somehow refrain from telling the armed yokels, who are supposed to function as ranch security but are standing around uselessly, to fucking do something about what's clearly an attempted kidnapping happening in real time. A tortured looking Miss Ellie decides she can't go through with forcibly taking her grandson after all and firmly tells JR, "He may belong on Southfork, but not this way." She then hands the boy back to his teary-eyed mother before scurrying back towards the chopper, while a defeated looking JR sheepishly climbs in after her. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: Inside the Braddock County Courthouse, Cliff is testifying about the night he found Kristin floating face-down in the Southfork swimming pool, insisting that she was dead before his attempted rescue. He says a few seconds after that, he looked up and saw JR standing on a balcony with broken railing...then proceeded to pull Kristin out of the swimming pool and call the local sheriff's station. Sue Ellen arrives at the courthouse with Dusty and Clayton in tow, and the three enter the courtroom in time to hear JR's side of the story. He testifies that Kristin was high as a kite and uncharacteristically disheveled when she arrived at Southfork...and that he had been so distracted about his missing son that he somehow didn't realize that the mood-altered Kristin had wandered onto his balcony, crashed through the railing, and landed in the swimming pool below. He says he's definitely not guilty of doing anything to harm her, as was evidenced by the lie detector test that Sheriff Washburn administered on the night of her death, and the judge interrupts to tut tut him for bringing that up 'cause polygraph results are not admissible in court. Expert witness Dr. Hooper testifies that Kristin hit her head on the edge of the pool when she plunged off the balcony, a blow that rendered her unconscious and lead to her drowning. He adds that she had a shit-ton of PCP (aka angel dust) in her system, a drug with side effects that include lack of coordination, a sense of euphoria, and agitation...in other words, it totally explains why she crashed through the balcony railing without anyone pushing her. Dr. Hooper says he has no problem believing that Kristin is fully responsible for her own death, and - to more convincingly exonerate JR so that the show can move on from the contrived Season 4 "cliffhanger" - it's entirely possible that she was suicidal. As the courtroom spectators look intrigued by that bombshell and begin to titter, the jury goes off to deliberate...then returns in record time with a verdict of accidental death. Texas sure has one speedy justice system. Howard Barker tells JR that, now that Kristin's death storyline has been so nimbly wrapped up, they can focus all of their energy on devising a strategy to reacquire custody of John Ross. Sheriff Washburn interrupts the conversation to sheepishly apologize to JR for "everything I had to put you through" - OMFG - and JR breezily tells him, "No harm done" and cackles about how impressed the jury looked when he snuck into his testimony [the, I'm assuming, fib] that he had passed a lie detector test. He assures Washburn that his law enforcement job in Braddock County is safe, and the rotund sheriff beams at him gratefully while expressing his thanks for not being mad at him. Sue Ellen laments how Kristin ended up being a drug fiend - despite there never being a whiff of her doing any kind of drug in all the time she was on the show - and Bobby and Pam cluck sympathetically at her loss, then urge her to put her sister's death and drug woes firmly behind her, 'cause the writers would much prefer to focus on her imminent divorce and ugly custody battle. JR meets up with Detective Harry McSween outside the courthouse, grumbling about how the authorities tried to pin Kristin's untimely death on him. He then instructs Harry to learn all he can about Sue Ellen's arrangements for Kristin's funeral, in particular any travel plans she has in the works, so that he can plan his next move. The next day, Cliff notices the front page of The Dallas Press, which features the headline 'Southfork Death Ruled Accidental' above photos of himself, JR, and Kristin. A few seconds later, he arrives at Jeremy Wendell's office to discuss his employability at WestStar Oil and gushes about how happy he is to finally meet him, and that he worked closely with Dave Stratton in an attempt to link JR to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. An unimpressed Jeremy reminds him that JR didn't end up paying the price for that crime, and that he also beat the murder charge he was just in court for. Cliff shrugs apologetically, then informs him that, while working together to bring down JR, Dave Stratton had promised him a position at WestStar, but Jeremy responds by haughtily snarling, "WestStar Oil does not reward losers." Ouch. In the lobby of the Ewing Oil building, JR meets with private investigator Jerry Macon, who agrees to stake out the Southern Cross Ranch and follow Sue Ellen's/their tot's every movement. Over at Southfork, Bobby is swimming [in the pool Kristin died in just a few days before, which...ew] while a spacey looking Pam sits on a lounge chair and stares despondently into space. Bobby remarks on how uncomfortable things were at the courthouse earlier, and Pam nods, mutters, "Poor Kristin..", and says she totally gets how unfulfilled Kristin must have been with her worthless life. Bobby points out that she really can't compare herself to Kristin 'cause she has a way better, more stable life...to which Pam unconvincingly mutters, "I guess so." Bobby stares at her concernedly and says he's worried that her unending desire for a baby has become an obsession. She shrugs and is all, "I can't help it" ... and when Bobby reminds her that it is physically possible for her to have a child, she moans that she can't endure another miscarriage. JR drops by Afton's apartment, barks at her to fix him a drink, then slumps on her couch. She rubs his shoulders to ease his tension, and he thanks her once again for helping him get access to Cliff's documents detailing his role in the South Asian counter-revolution. He says it's nice coming to her place, where he can relax with a drink, then makes it clear he's in no mood for sex 'cause of how irked he continues to be about Sue Ellen taking their son to her boyfriend's ranch in San Angelo. Afton weakly assures him that eventually he'll get John Ross back, then offers to fix him some dinner - but he moodily declines, says he should prolly head home, and abruptly gets up and walks out, leaving a dejected Afton staring unhappily into space. JR arrives at Southfork and peeks into the empty nursery with his sad face on. Later, he calls Miss Ellie in Paris to break the bad news of Kristin's untimely demise...and then, off-camera, fills her in about Sue Ellen and John Ross leaving Southfork to shack up with Dusty Farlow. Sue Ellen, Dusty, and Clayton are ferried back to the Southern Cross ranch by stretch limo. Sue Ellen wanders over to the pasture fence and stares sadly into the distance as she tells Dusty that the full weight of her sister's tragic death is just hitting her now, and that she blames their controlling mother for pushing them into fulfilling all of the things in life - e.g. wealth, status - that she was never able to achieve. She deduces that 1) Kristin was so bummed by her life's failure that she abruptly turned to drugs to numb the pain, and 2) her mother's relentless pressure could explain why she herself turned to booze to cope with her unhappy marriage to JR. Dusty clucks sympathetically, then offers to travel to Albuquerque with her to attend Kristin's funeral, but she gives him a hard no on that and says she hasn't yet explained his presence in her life to her mama and thinks it's best if she and John Ross travel alone to bid her druggie/suicidal (?) sister a final farewell. At Ewing Oil, JR is interviewing an attractive woman named Heather for the secretarial position, but when she admits to having zero typing or shorthand skills and really only has her ample cleavage to offer, he tells her they only hire attractive women who have superior secretarial skills. She shrugs at that and sashays out, and JR buzzes Phyllis to ask her to bring in the next applicant...and instructs her to keep Heather's contact info on file in case he's ever interested in a random booty call with a woman who's clearly willing and eager to put out. The next applicant is an attractive, confident blonde named Sylvia (her friends call her Sly), who tells JR that she has lots of experience working with independent oil companies and can type 90 words a minute and write 120 words in shorthand...and when JR is interrupted by Phyllis, who needlessly passes along a phone message from Detective Harry McSween, Sly gaily tells him that her dad and Harry are such great friends that she refers to the detective as Uncle Harry. JR nods approvingly at her good looks, solid secretarial credentials, and personal connections to local law enforcement and happily says, "Well, Sly. Welcome to Ewing Oil!" and shakes her hand. As Ray and Donna shop around for a new saddle, Ray, who continues to be buoyed by his recent success as a real estate developer, insists on buying her the most expensive one. Donna argues that she doesn't need anything super fancy - but he insists that since she's going to be on horseback during in a parade in Braddock County, as well as some charity thing in Plano, she should be sitting atop the most luxurious saddle available. Over lunch with Rebecca, Cliff grumbles about how shittily his job hunting has been going, lamenting that no one wants to hire him after his latest legal skirmish with the Ewings. Rebecca reminds him that he has a law degree and would do well to put his grudges with the Ewings behind him, citing that that kind of simmering hatred ruined Digger's life - but Cliff reminds her that, for whatever God-only-knows-why reason, the writers seem very invested in keeping the tedious Barnes vs. Ewings Feud alive for all eternity. Ray and Donna run into Punk Anderson while shopping, and he gabbles about how awesomely the Lubbock housing project is going, gushing that the units are selling like hotcakes. He credits Ray for having "the Midas touch", then invites the two to jet with him to Lubbock this afternoon to check in on the development in person. Detective Harry McSween reports to JR that Kristin's corpse is scheduled to be transported to Albuquerque in two days, and that Sue Ellen and John Ross are booked on the same flight. JR thanks him and says he'll take care of the rest. Bobby drops by The Store to say hey to Pam, but soon learns that she made an impromptu trip to San Angelo to visit Sue Ellen and her tot. Bobby scrunches his face all irked-like and gets on the phone with the Ewing pilot, ordering him to gas up the chopper so he can fly over to the Southern Cross Ranch asap and fetch his errant wife. Cliff arrives at Afton's building and manages to catch her in the parking lot before she heads off to work. He invites her to join him lunch, but she tells him she's too busy, pretty much forever, then chides him for using her to learn whatever intel she may have had regarding JR's involvement in the South Asian counter-revolution. She tells him she read all about what he tried to do to his arch-nemesis during the hearing in Austin, then snarlingly calls him a loser and says she has no room in her life for losers. Ouch again. Over at the Southern Cross Ranch, Pam happily visits with John Ross and asks Sue Ellen if there's anything she can do to further accommodate her rich-man-funded life of leisure. Sue Ellen says she's getting all the emotional support she needs from Dusty, who's far sweeter and more loving than JR could ever hope to be, and Pam clucks sadly about how sorry she is that she had to leave Southfork to find her happy place...and says this as though it's not blatantly obvious that any Ewing spouse (ex or otherwise) would be immeasurably happier after moving far, far away from that wretched cesspool of a ranch. Jerry Macon updates JR from his car phone on Operation Stalk Sue Ellen and reports that Pam is currently visiting his soon-to-be ex-wife on Southern Cross. JR irritably wonders aloud what she's up to now, then says he wants to know the details of his wife's Albuquerque travel plans pronto. Bobby's chopper lands on the Southern Cross ranch - just as Pam is about to put John Ross down for his nap. As Dusty and Clayton emerge from the house to see which Ewing decided to drop in uninvited, Bobby amiably waves at them and says he's only here to pick up his wife. He then chides Pam for not telling him about her plans to travel to San Angelo...and she just kind of shrugs and is all, "Whatever" before carrying John Ross inside. Bobby seats himself next to Sue Ellen and gives her the what-for for using Pam to sneak her son away from JR, and Sue Ellen insists that she had no other recourse...and, frankly, didn't have to do a whole lot of convincing to get Pam to help her out. After Bobby chews on that for a few seconds, the two agree that Pam is annoyingly desperate to have a baby, and ponder the possibility of adopting a child. Back at Southfork, Donna and Lucy are horseback riding together and discussing their shared dilemma of being married to men who are monetarily inferior to them. Donna says she much preferred it when Ray was just a simple-brained cowboy, not the savvy "wheeler and dealer" we're supposed to believe he's suddenly become. She tells Lucy that money isn't the solution to a loving relationship, and Lucy looks doubtful 'bout that and says she's still somewhat half-hearted about not wanting to give up on Mitch. Howard Barker drops by Ewing Oil to report that he received word from Sue Ellen's lawyer regarding scheduling a preliminary hearing for temporary alimony and custody. JR says he's bracing himself for the nasty fight ahead, and Howard warns that if he doesn't get John Ross back at Southfork by any means necessary before the hearing, he may never regain custody of the tot...which seems like odd, somewhat nonsensical advice for an officer of the court to be giving to his client - but then I'm a recapper, not a family law expert from fictional 1980s Texas. The next morning, JR finds Marilee Stone waiting for him in his office for seemingly no other purpose than to invite him to lunch 'cause she figures he's got to be lonely without Sue Ellen around. He declines 'cause he has meetings all day, but then agrees to have dinner with her tomorrow night. He tells her that tomorrow he'll definitely be in the mood to celebrate getting something back that belongs to him (though: not). At Southfork, Bobby gets off the phone with Jock and tells JR that their parents are planning to cut their vacation short and are scheduled to return home in a couple of days. He makes it a point to mention to JR that Miss Ellie was particularly worried about John Ross no longer living at Southfork, and JR snarls that that's largely due to the stupidity of his wife - just as Pam enters the room with a shopping bag filled with goodies for John Ross. JR snappishly tells her his son has everything he needs and doesn't need anything from "his demented aunt" ... and a few minutes later, Ray and Donna arrive to go out to dinner with Bobby and Pam. Bobby sheepishly tells Pam he forgot to mention making special dinner plans for the four of them, and she just kind of shrugs and spacily says she's A-OK with a double-date dinner with the two dullards. JR gets a call from Gerry Macon detailing Sue Ellen's plans to attend her sister's funeral in Albuquerque tomorrow. The following morning, Sue Ellen and John Ross are transported to Love Field airport by chopper...and once they enter the airport, they encounter two of JR's goons: one grabs the tot, while the other subdues Sue Ellen. As Sue Ellen's all, "Nooooo!! Help!!", Dusty and a posse of his burly ranch hands suddenly appear, take control of the situation, and return John Ross to his mother. Dusty explains to Sue Ellen that he figured JR would try something sinister like this, and that he's also arranged for a security team to meet her at the Albuquerque airport, just in case. The two then look up and notice that a visibly miffed JR is inside the airport, glaring down at them from the second floor landing. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! Recap: Sheriff Washburn (of Braddock County) and his subordinates have arrived at Southfork in response to Cliff's 911 call reporting Kristin's lifeless body found floating face-down in the Ewing's swimming pool. Cliff recounts to Deputy Matland how he leaped into the pool in an attempt to rescue Kristin, then looked up and saw JR standing on the damaged balcony above, and naturally leaped to the conclusion that he pushed the saucy vixen to her death. JR is reluctant to answer Sheriff Washburn's questions about how Kristin ended up dead in the Southfork pool 'cause he's too distracted about Pam absconding with John Ross to Abilene - but Sheriff Washburn breezily retorts that the tot is most likely fine, and that he really really needs to focus his attention on investigating the murder that was just committed in his jurisdiction. Deputy Matland pulls Sheriff Washburn aside to tell him that Cliff is insisting that JR pushed Kristin off the balcony, and Washburn scrunches his face concernedly and says that if he starts treating JR as a suspect "I could be buying myself a whole lot of trouble". He then turns to JR and tells him what Cliff is accusing him of, and JR claims that it was Cliff who drowned Kristin...and Cliff overhears that and angrily replies that that makes zero sense, not least 'cause he barely knew Kristin and would have no reason to kill this near stranger. He rails about how JR is trying to frame him the way he did when Tina Louise was murdered in Season 2, and Sheriff Washburn tells them both to shut it and accompany him and his team to the Braddock Sheriff's Station for a round of formal questioning. Bobby arrives at Southfork and is all 'OMG!' when he learns about Kristin's untimely demise. JR pulls him aside to tell him that, amid the suspicious death that should probably be of primary concern to him at the moment, Pam kidnapped John Ross and has him holed up at a motel in Abilene, and would he please travel there pronto to fetch the tot? Bobby agrees to get on that asap, while JR heads off to the sheriff's station. Bobby gets on the phone and tries to make travel arrangements to Abilene, but soon learns that the earliest commercial flight he can get is for 7am the following morning. At the Braddock Sheriff's Station, Sheriff Washburn ushers JR into his office, offers him a cup of coffee, and tells him that now would probably be a good time to call his lawyer. At dawn the next morning, Bobby briefs Ray about Kristin's death, then climbs into a cab to catch his fight to Abilene. A few seconds later, Lucy arrives at Southfork and tells Ray she heard all about Kristin's death on the radio, then is all 'whatever' and heads inside to move back into her old bedroom. JR tells Sheriff Washburn that Kristin had demanded money from him before wandering onto his balcony acting all drunk and spacey. Sheriff Washburn asks why she wouldn't just ask her own sister for money, so JR informs him that Sue Ellen no longer lives at Southfork 'cause they're separated. He then claims that by the time he reached the balcony to see whassup with Kristin, she had somehow crashed through the railing and fallen into the pool below...and a few seconds later, Cliff had leaped into the water, and naturally leaped to the conclusion that he did so for the purpose of drowning her. Sheriff Washburn comes right out and asks JR if he pushed Kristin to her death, and he emphatically denies it. After Cliff is released from the station after questioning, he passes a newsstand and spots the morning's headline in the local paper, Ewing Kin Dead, accompanied by head shots of himself, JR, and Kristin. He makes a beeline over to the nearest pay phone and calls Rebecca to let her know he's on his way to her place. When JR is finished being questioned, he gets on the phone to call his Dallas-based police lackey, Detective Harry McSween, and leaves a message summoning him to his Ewing Oil office in an hour. An hour later at Ewing Oil, Detective McSween informs JR that some unknown person picked up John Ross from the Abilene motel this morning...and when he ran the license plate, he learned that the vehicle is registered to a Steven Farlow. JR stares confusedly into space as he mutters, "Farlow.." and deduces that it must be someone from the Southern Cross Ranch in San Remo County. He wonders aloud what a wealthy clan like the Farlows could possibly want with his son, then rushes out of the office to look into that puzzlement. Bobby retrieves Pam from the Abilene motel, and she recounts to him how appalled she was when JR physically snatched John Ross away from Sue Ellen and then instructed his security guard to drag her off the ranch. Bobby says she should have called him before she removed the child from his home...so she says she wasn't able to reach him - but was secretly glad, 'cause she didn't want him to sway her from doing what she thought was right. Bobby asks her if she doesn't think that this ugly custody battle is something that JR and Sue Ellen should prolly work out themselves, and she's like, "Uh, nope" 'cause a helpless child is at the center of the conflict. Bobby makes it clear that he doesn't believe she did the right thing, but she tells him he'd think differently if he had seen how happy Sue Ellen was when she (along with Dusty) picked up her son at the motel last night. Over at Casa Yokel, Ray is surprised when Donna pulls up in a cab, returning home from her D.C. trip earlier than expected. She admits that she cut her trip short on account of how worried she is about him withdrawing $3 million from their joint bank account, then says she thinks he's moving way too fast on the Lubbock housing project, pointing out that he has zero background and/or experience with real estate development. Ray insists that he learned a lot just by watching Jock and Punk Anderson wheel and deal in association with the Takapa development before the writers abruptly shut down that tedious storyline [due, sadly, to Jim Davis's terminal illness]. He adds that just 'cause he's a cowboy doesn't mean he can't become a savvy real estate developer, and Donna manages to keep a straight face at that delusional lunacy while she half-heartedly agrees and leans in for a hug and kiss while continuing to stare concernedly into space. Cliff fills Rebecca in about Kristin's untimely demise in the Southfork pool, including his run-in with Sheriff Washburn, whose head is so far up JR's ass that he'd sooner declare him (Cliff) as the prime suspect in a murder that makes way more sense, at least circumstantially, for JR to have committed. Pam tells Bobby she's stunned to hear that Kristin is no more and wonders what Cliff was doing at Southfork late last night. Bobby explains that Cliff had stopped by to accuse him of misconduct 'cause he's convinced that he gave JR access to whatever proof he had about his role in the bloodless Southeast Asian coup. Pam breezily calls that accusation nonsense, but then wonders aloud how in blazes JR could have gotten his hands on Cliff's secret files. Lucy drops by the condo to discuss with Mitch the rapid deterioration of their ridiculously ill-fated, four-month marriage. She fully admits to being a spoiled brat who's never had to work for anything in her life, but then digs in about how much she's enjoyed her luxurious lifestyle and really can't see herself living any other way. She tells him she has zero desire to wait for what she wants and/or to spend her days sacrificing and budgeting, and Mitch is all, "But that's the only way I know how to liiiiiiive!" Lucy tears up and says that while she loves him and doesn't want him to have to change who he is, she can't bear to stay married to such an uppity scrounger who's constantly irked by her family's wealth. She abruptly says goodbye and hightails it out of the condo, leaving Mitch staring after his soon-to-be ex-wife in stunned bewilderment. Sheriff Hawkins (of San Remo County), along with his flunkies and JR descend upon the Southern Cross Ranch. Patriarch Clayton Farlow greets Sheriff Hawkins et. al. and admits that, yep, his son Steven (aka Dusty) picked up John Ross from the Abilene motel and brought him to his ranch. A few seconds later, Dusty exits the house and limps over...and JR stares at him as if he's trying to place why he looks so familiar, then recalls that he was the rodeo rider who once made a pass at his wife. JR says he couldn't care less about him and Sue Ellen hooking up 'cause he really just wants his son back - and Sue Ellen emerges from the house and angrily declares that not only is John Ross going to be living with her full time on Southern Cross, she's suing him for divorce. So there! After the commercial break, Clayton assures JR that John Ross is safe at Southern Cross in the custody of his mother - but JR insists that he wants his son returned to Southfork, like pronto. When Sheriff Hawkins concurs with Clayton and points out to JR that it doesn't seem as though a crime has actually been committed, JR accuses him of being in Clayton's pocket [kinda like how Sheriff Washburn is firmly in the pocket of the Ewing family]. He then tells Sue Ellen he'd like to speak with her privately, motioning to a spot several feet away as he assures, "Your boyfriend can come to your rescue in one mighty hobble." LOL. Sue Ellen's like 'sure, why not?' ... and once they're far enough to be out of earshot of everyone, JR breaks the news about Kristin's death. Sue Ellen first accuses him of lying, then of murdering her sister 'cause he had the biggest motive of anyone. She asks whatever became of their love spawn, and JR points out that Kristin had never offered any actual proof that she had been pregnant...but despite that, he'd opted to pay her off rather than call her bluff. He shrugs and says it's very possible that Kristin was never pregnant, then urges Sue Ellen to return to Southfork for a fresh start to their never-ending marital dysfunction. Sue Ellen snappishly tells him that knocking up Kristin wasn't the only reason she left him, then adamantly declares that 1) she's never stepping foot on Southfork ever again, 2) he'll never get custody of John Ross, and 3) she's deeply in love with Dusty. JR's all 'fine whatever' about that last thing, but refuses to accept that she's going to have full custody of their son. She reacts by rushing back to the safety of Dusty's arms, and an infuriated JR storms off. Upon returning to Southfork, Bobby calls Cliff to ask him if there are any new details about Kristin's death, then sets up a tête-à-tête outside the courthouse for the following day. Pam is sitting in the rocking chair in John Ross's fugly nursery, starting blankly at his empty crib. Bobby urges her to lay down and get some rest, but she moans about how lonely the house is without the little boy and hopes that he returns home soon. Afton is rehearsing in the Stardrift Lounge when a glum looking Mitch drops by and asks for a whiskey. She heads behind the bar to pour him one and ask him whassup with the long face, so he tells her that he and Lucy are officially Splitsville. Afton rolls her eyes and calls him a fool for imposing his idiotic budgetary standards on his wife, 'cause it's clearly what drove her away. She tells him he's got booksmarts, but zero common sense, as was demonstrated when he repeatedly made such a big fucking deal of Lucy coming from a rich family. Mitch argues that he's not at all comfortable being around so much wealth - but at the same time wants Lucy back. Afton says his only hope to successfully rekindle things will depend on him figuring out how to amass a fortune of his own so that he can offer Lucy the life of leisure to which she's become accustomed. While horseback riding on the vastness that is Southfork Ranch, Donna tells Bobby she's worried that Ray is getting in waaaaaay over his head with the Lubbock housing project. Bobby agrees that she's probably right to worry, and thinks that Ray is mostly trying to impress Jock with his non-existent business acumen. He then shares that Pam's recent mood swings are kinda freaking him out, and Donna sympathetically clucks that Pam wants a baby soooooo badly it's clearly making her go a bit squirrelly. She suggests getting Pam some professional help, and Bobby says he's tried, but that she hasn't been too receptive to the notion of talking to a psychologist. The two then agree that they each make good sounding boards for the other, then get back atop their horses and gallop off. Pam is sitting by the Southfork pool, enjoying a cup of coffee, when JR exits the house and snarlingly warns her to "stay out of my sight". He adds that he came close to having her arrested for kidnapping his son, to which she retorts that she was simply reuniting Sue Ellen with her child after she was so cruelly thrown off of Southfork. JR says he wouldn't expect any better from an illegitimate child of a ranch foreman and stepdaughter of the town drunk...and Bobby, who's now within hearing range, yells at JR to shut it and takes a swing at him. Ray rushes over to break up the fight as JR yells at Bobby that he's not through with him or Pam yet, then storms off...and an unfazed looking Pam just stares spacily after her furious brother-in-law. JR arrives at Ewing Oil and tells Phyllis he has a ton of dictating for Louella to do, so Phyllis reminds him that he fired her during the Season 4 finale for not ensuring that Claude Brown fled the country before he could be called to testify at the Southeast Asian counter-revolution hearing. JR's like, "Oh yeah. Oops", then heads over to his office, where his lawyer, Howard Barker, is waiting. JR tells Howard he needs him to represent him during his divorce and subsequent custody battle, and Howard warns that it's likely going to be a problem to get full custody of John Ross - unless he can somehow prove that Sue Ellen is an unfit mother. During a staff meeting at The Store, a dazed looking Pam stares blankly into space...and when Liz Craig asks her why she's so quiet, she just kind of shrugs and says she just doesn't have a whole lot to contribute today. Back at Ewing Oil, JR orders Phyllis to call a temp agency to rustle up some potential secretaries for him to interview, correctly assuming that she wouldn't want to give up her gig as Bobby's secretary to become his secretary, remarking, "I guess Bobby's got you broken in the way he wants you." Phyllis smiles in response to his brazen misogyny and cheerily replies, "He seems pleased." $#&@! Outside the courthouse, Cliff rails at Bobby for tipping off JR about the evidence that he had accumulated to prove he was the instigator of the South Asian coup, and Bobby denies doing any such thing and says that either there's a leak on their team they need to suss out, or that JR truly is innocent of the accusations. Cliff lets out a bitter chuckle at that second thing and insists that JR is a criminal and that he's never going to stop trying to unearth the truth. Bobby warns him that if he tries to drum up political support to implicate JR in such a serious crime, Austin isn't going to be a welcoming town to him on account of he broke the chain of command when he went over his head. He caps off his rant by snarling, "You're through in politics." Back at the Southern Cross Ranch, Sue Ellen strolls with Dusty and happily tells him how free she feels after breaking away from JR. Dusty's like, "Uh, that's nice" and says he wishes they'd hooked up under less acrimonious circumstances, and she's like, "I looooove that you're my white knight who came to my rescue." Dusty looks less than comfortable being billed as a white knight and tells her she's always free to change her mind at any time about staying or leaving his ranch. Sue Ellen ignores what sounds to me like an 'I've bitten off more than I wanted to chew' type reflection and just stares at Dusty lovingly and says she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, and the two hug and kiss while he stares concernedly into space. Over at Southfork, Lucy sees Bobby staring into space by the pool, so she totters over in her high heels to inform him that she and Mitch are dunzo. She says she really does love the dumb lug, but knows it's not enough to keep a failing marriage together when the husband is so hung up on the Ewing riches...and Bobby envelopes her in a comforting hug. JR is at Ewing Oil, discussing with Howard how to win the custody battle for John Ross...and Howard strategizes that Sue Ellen's history of adultery and boozing could definitely work against her during the divorce proceedings. Sheriff Washburn arrives at Ewing Oil and interrupts the meeting to inform JR that he just got a call from the Assistant District Attorney in Dallas County, who has proof that Kristin confessed to shooting him during the Season 3 finale. He says that this confession could be interpreted as a motive to wanting her dead - but JR breezily brushes off that theory as nonsense. Sheriff Washburn sternly tells him they're going to need to look into this in greater depth at the sheriff's station, then sternly advises him to bring his lawyer along. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: JR has hired a team of uniformed security guards to patrol Southfork as a means of protecting him from some otherwise bored vigilantes who might seek revenge against him for allegedly financing a bloodless Southeast Asian coup. Miss Ellie telephones from "Paris" to tell JR she's been reading about his latest scandal in the papers and asks him if there's any truth to it, so he tells her it's all lies and that he had nothing to do with any counter-revolution. He complains that Bobby refuses to lift a finger to help him through this crisis, then assures her she needn't worry about this 'cause soon he'll be headed to Austin to look into getting the whole thing dropped. In a Dallas hotel room, Dusty and Clayton Farlow tell Sue Ellen they're willing to storm over to Southfork with her right now so she can confront JR and announce that she's finally leaving him. Sue Ellen says that while she definitely likes that idea, she's concerned about removing her son from the ranch without JR going completely ape-shit...and Clayton points out that when it comes to the custody of small children, courts tend to rule in favor of the mother. Sue Ellen wrings her hands worriedly and says she doesn't think that right now is the right time to get her son, but rather after JR jets off to Austin, where she can only assume he'll attempt to bribe one or more senators to side with him in the current Southeast Asian Counter-Revolution fiasco. She tells Dusty and Clayton she feels bad involving them in her impending divorce/baby daddy drama, but Clayton says that JR's bullying and threatens have zero effect on the Farlow clan, since they're just as rich and well-connected as the Ewings. He asks Sue Ellen if she thinks JR was, in fact, behind the counter-revolution...and when she replies, "I'd stake my life on it", he says that if JR is found guilty, it's very possible he could go to prison and/or lose his company, which means that no court would ever award him full custody of Baby John. Sue Ellen grins happily at that possibility and says she's going to focus all of her energy on extracting her son from Southfork. JR is in Austin, meeting with Senator Harbin (aka chairman of the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry) to request a look-see at the evidence that Cliff presented to the panel. Harbin's like, "Nope, no can do", then explains that members of the Department of Justice will be attendance at the hearing...and if things go south for him (JR), they may decide to hold him pending the federal trial, and be more likely to discover that a senator on the take supplied him with classified documents. A miffed JR says, in that case, he'll head back to Dallas now...and a few seconds after he exits the office, he's served with a subpoena to appear before the senate committee. He rushes over to the nearest pay phone and calls Louella to instruct her to tell Claude Brown to flee the U.S. pronto - just as she too is served with a subpoena. Over at The Store, Pam's assistant (Jackie) tells her that Bobby called earlier, and that he sounded very tired. She offers to cover for Pam if she wants to fly to Austin to support her husband, but Pam worries that her presence at the hearing would only complicate matters. Ewing Oil's secretary #2 (Phyllis) blabs to Sue Ellen that Louella was just served with a subpoena while she was talking to JR, who was in Austin at the time of the call...and Sue Ellen's all, "Yippee!" and promptly calls Dusty to report that JR is in Austin, where she assumes he'll be until the hearing, and therefore plans to babynap her son this evening. Instead of in broad daylight, when it would be a far less suspicious time to abscond with the tot now that she's under the scrutiny of the army of security guards JR just hired to patrol the ranch. Leslie drops by Jeremy Wendell's office to discuss the damaging headlines plaguing Ewing Oil. She tells Jeremy she has some pretty compelling evidence that proves JR financed the counter-revolution...and when he asks her if she'd be willing to present it to the senate committee, she grins and replies, "For the right price." Jeremy correctly assumes that the right price includes signing Westar Oil as her newest PR client - but says that before he agrees to anything, he'll first need to see the evidence. Leslie invites him to her apartment this evening to get a first-hand look at the proof, and Jeremy says he can't wait to see Ewing Oil stripped of its state charter and no longer able to function as Westar's primary competition in the Texas oil world. That evening, Sue Ellen dresses Baby John in a sweater and pants and tells him to say a final bye bye to his hideously decorated nursery. She promises to buy him new clothes and toys once they get to their new home...and as she carries him downstairs, JR expectedly arrives home, glares at her suspiciously, and asks her where she's going. She comes right out and announces that she's leaving him and taking their son with her, to which JR snarls, "The hell you are!" and grabs Baby John from her and orders one of his security guards to escort her off the property. Sue Ellen yells that if the senate committee finds him guilty of financing a counter-revolution he'll be hauled off to prison, then motions at her son, who's mutely clinging to JR while seemingly oblivious to the fact that he's the unfortunate subject of his idiot parents' ugly screaming match, and cries, "I'm going to have him!!" JR barks, "I'll kill you first!", and Sue Ellen says he'll have to, then screeches, "Because I'm going to get him!!" As the security guard drags her out of the house, Pam appears at the top of the staircase and orders JR to give Baby John back to his mother. JR snappishly tells her to mind her own business, then likens Sue Ellen to Rebecca Barnes as "another drunken slut who ran away". Pam shoots him a hateful glare as she growls, "You slime...you make me sick", and JR warns that he'll destroy anyone who tries to take his son away. Kristin drops by Ewing Oil to meet with JR, who reminds her that they had a deal which entailed her staying far away from Dallas. Kristin says she's grown tired of his "little monthly checks" 'cause she's developed from pretty expensive habits in California and thinks he should start paying for them. She says she's been reading the papers and figured that now would be the perfect time to threaten him with a paternity lawsuit, and JR pretends to be agreeable to being blackmailed and explains that with his pending troubles he's unable to pull too much cash out of his bank account. She seems satisfied enough with that answer, but warns, "Don't wait too long", and says she'll call him in the next few days. Over at the Cattlemen's Club, Punk Anderson tells Ray he went ahead and signed a development contract to get the Lubbock housing project started, and adds that he and his fellow investors kept a close eye on him during much of the negotiation process. Ray admits to feeling a bit in over his head...so Punk is like, "Speaking of being in over your head" and pressures Ray to join the other investors by throwing in $3 million. Ray looks startled and says that while Donna is loaded, he doesn't have that kind of money...and an unsympathetic Punk is all, "You seriously can't put a measly $3 million together?" and further manipulates Ray by remarking how happy Jock will be when he learns that his best friends and illegitimate spawn are all invested in a housing deal together. Defense lawyer Emmett Walsh tells JR that before he's willing to take his case, he needs to find out what evidence Cliff presented to the senate committee. Ray calls Dave Culver in D.C. in an effort to get a hold of Donna, but Dave says she's at a social event somewhere outside of D.C. and will likely be unreachable until tomorrow. Ray scrunches his face in frustration for a few seconds, then decides 'ah fuck it' and calls his banker (Mr. Morgan) and asks him to draw up a $3 million check from his/Donna's joint account and make it out to Unified Development. Donna returns to D.C. earlier than expected and drops by Dave Culver's office. He tells her that Ray called earlier...and a few seconds later, Mr. Morgan calls to ask Donna if she's OK with her husband withdrawing $3 million from their joint account. Donna stares concernedly into space before telling Mr. Morgan to go ahead and issue the check, then tells Dave she needs to get back to Dallas before Ray completely wipes out their bank account just so he can meet with Punk's approval. Afton is at Cliff's apartment, hovering over him as he mutters about how tired he is...before completely passing out. Afton rinses the drugged cup of coffee she had poured him earlier, then sashays over to the door to let in JR and Detective Harry McSween so they can search the apartment for whatever documents Cliff gave to the senate committee. JR quickly locates the briefcase, and Harry gets busy taking photos of each document. The special hearing of the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry gets underway with testimony from Marilee Stone and Jordan Lee, who share their strong suspicions (but with no hard evidence) that JR was directly involved with the financing of the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Following that, the committee calls Claude Brown to the stand, and his immunity-protected testimony proves more damaging. He tells the panel that JR gave him $10 million worth of Swiss francs to finance the counter-revolution, says he has copies of the bank deposit to prove it, and that the money was withdrawn to pay the coup-ers just prior to the government changing hands. Following that, Leslie Stewart is called into the room and testifies that she had taped conversations with JR, who openly admitted to financing the coup...and Cliff presses the play button on a large tape recorder so that the senators can hear the incriminating audio evidence. JR insists on defending himself with his own testimony, and denies being in any way responsible for funding the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. He admits to giving Claude Brown $10 million - but insists that it was for purely philanthropic reasons, and to dispel the myth of "the ugly American" in an effort to appease a yet-non-existent new government that (fingers crossed!) might one day take over the unnamed fictional Southeast Asian country that had nationalized his oil wells. As for Leslie's tape recording, since he knew she had a hankering for ruthless men, he was merely pretending to have financed a Southeast Asian coup in an effort to get her horned up enough to hit the sheets with him. LOL. One of the more bewildered looking senators is all, "You seriously expect us to believe a word of this?", so JR asks the committee to summon the unnamed fictional Southeast Asian country's ambassador to the UN: Ambassador Thone, whose testimony will corroborate this implausible nonsense. Ambassador Thone displays for the senate panel a rendering of a hospital wing that's currently under construction in the unnamed fictional Southeast Asian country, along with that of two new schools in the works - all of which are to be named in honor of JR Ewing. Thone says that Emmett Walsh can provide all of the records for the expenditures for this construction, which conveniently add up to $10 million, minus the deposit fee that Claude Brown was given. Cliff stares at Thone incredulously and asks him where the money went just before the coup happened, so Thone explains that since no one wanted that kind of cash to fall into the wrong hands, it was transferred to Switzerland for safe-keeping, then returned to Southeast Asia once the unnamed fictional country had its new, capitalist-friendly government in place. Ambassador Thone adds that JR has generously offered to donate 10% of all oil profits from his Southeast Asian wells to his government and calls it a humbling humanitarian gesture...and JR kind of contorts his face into a 'the fuck?' expression, which made me wonder if Thone was craftily hosing JR in real time. As JR mutters, "It's the least I could do", Senator Harbin recommends to the senate committee that, in light of JR's admirable acts of generosity, they should all vote no prosecution. The vote quickly passes - with Bobby in agreement - and a furious Cliff accuses JR of bribing Ambassador Thone to appear at his hearing and testify about non-existent philanthropic construction projects. Cliff asks Bobby why in blazes he sided with JR, then points out how obvious it is that JR knew exactly what kind of evidence the panel had against him. Bobby denies any wrongdoing or even voting against his conscience, but Cliff just snorts, "You're a Ewing" and threatens to appear before the Senate Ethics Committee to lodge a complaint. Bobby urges him to stop, take a breath, and come by Southfork later so that they can discuss the matter in more detail...and Cliff agrees, but says it likely won't change his mind. The next morning, JR arrives at Ewing Oil and summarily fires Louella for not ensuring that Claude Brown left the country before he could be called to testify at the hearing...and a stunned Louella's all, "The fuck? You're firing me for that?" Kristin drops by Ewing Oil in a more determined effort to extort money from JR...and when he tells her she's not getting another penny from him, she threatens to blab to the press that he's her baby daddy. JR counter-threatens to bring charges against her for shooting him last season, and she pales and replies, "You wouldn't do that." JR snaps back, "Wouldn't I?" and threatens to unleash his violent goons on her if she doesn't get the hell out of Dallas immediately. Kristin glares at him, snarks, "It's not over yet!", and flouncily storms out of his office. Sue Ellen stops in at Pam's office to tell her she's divorcing JR so that she can marry the man of her dreams, who she once thought was lost forever. Pam's like, "That's nice, but what about your baby?" and Sue Ellen says she's not leaving town without the tot, and could really use her help. JR goes over to Leslie's apartment to applaud her for her self-survival skills, which he too would have employed if he were in her shoes. The two stare intensely at each other...and JR says he still wants to hit the sheets with her more than ever - but only for the fun of it, with no strings attached. Leslie says she's definitely down with that, and the two start smooching. Kristin is back in her hotel room, complaining to whoever she's talking to on the phone that her attempt to blackmail JR didn't work, and that he even threatened her if she didn't leave town. She vows that he'll soon regret what he said to her. Post-coitus, JR sits on Leslie's bedside and tells her that no way was that sub-par doink worth the wait - bwahahaha! - and she looks unfazed by the insult and chuckles about how most things usually aren't. She tells him that despite everything "you're still my kinda man", and JR gives her a weirded out look as he beats a hasty retreat from her bedroom...and once he's out of earshot, Leslie picks up the phone and calls Jeremy Wendell to talk about their future partnership. JR enters the Southfork nursery and is startled to find it empty. He rushes downstairs and asks the nearest security guard where his son is, so the guard tells him that Mrs. Ewing took him out for a drive...and by Mrs. Ewing, he means Pam. A panicked JR gets on the phone with Detective Harry McSween, gives him Pam's license plate number, and says she just kidnapped his son...but that the detective is to call the ranch when she's found so that he can personally take care of the matter on the down-low. Cliff arrives at Southfork for his tête-à-tête with Bobby...and as he ambles towards the house, he glances over at the pool and - ack! - notices a female body floating, face-down. He races over to the pool and leaps in in an effort to save the unidentified woman [spoiler: it's Kristin] ... and as he cradles her lifeless body, he notices JR staring down at them from his bedroom balcony. Cliff bellows at his archenemy, "She's dead! You bastard!" Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: Sue Ellen is in the nursery getting Baby John dressed...and tells JR, who's hovering in the doorway, that she has zero desire to discuss his/Kristin's out-of-wedlock spawn. JR says that wasn't what he wanted to discuss with her - but when she snaps, "Not now!", he sheepishly shuffles off. Pam leaves the doctor's office with Rebecca in tow, and the two are sad that it's been officially confirmed that Pam is physically unable to have children. Mitch is sulking on the couch while Lucy packs for a modelling gig in Houston. She explains that she's been summoned to Alex Ward's publication headquarters for an important photo shoot - but that she'll decline to attend if he (Mitch) orders her to cancel. Mitch poutishly tells her she's going to have to decide for herself if she has any interest in indulging his Neanderthal attitude about women being allowed to enter the workforce and earn more money than their husbands, so she mutters, "I'm sorry" and exits the condo with her luggage. Dave Stratton tells Cliff he has access to a treasure trove of documents that can prove JR financed the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Cliff says he's definitely intrigued by the prospect of nailing JR for a serious crime, but is worried because his boss (Bobby) is less than likely to urge the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry to investigate the matter. Dave incentivizes Cliff to find a way around that barrier by telling him that Westar Oil has a lot of influence with the Texas senate and that he's pretty sure Jeremy Wendell will show a deep level of gratitude to whoever helps bring JR to his knees. Sue Ellen tells Pam that last night she and JR re-connected for a nano-second prior to Kristin spoiling the mood when she telephoned with her baby news. Sue Ellen says that if it weren't for her all encompassing love for Baby John, she would have walked out on JR last night...and Pam's all, "Yeesh" and says that she, on the other hand, finds comfort in having a loving spouse like Bobby. Leslie is lunching with Jeremy Wendell, who's not-so-subtly trying to extract whatever intel she might have on JR's connection to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Leslie firmly says she can't disclose anything from conversations she's had with her other clients, then politely thanks him for lunch and excuses herself so she can make her next appointment. At the Cattlemen's Club, Ray looks visibly uncomfortable during his meeting with Punk Anderson et. al. to discuss the Lubbock housing deal. Donna briefly interrupts to let Ray know that she's off to D.C. to do some stuff for Dave Culver, and Ray says he's A-OK with that and gives her a goodbye smooch. That evening at Southfork, Bobby sorts through the mail and is delighted to find a postcard from Luke Middens of The Lost Child episode, who apparently would loooove to get reacquainted by dropping in at Southfork for a visit sometime. When Bobby relays this fun news to Pam, she gets visibly upset, mumbles that she has work to do, and hastily exits the sitting room. JR tells his lawyer, Lincoln Hargrove, that he has no interest in attending marriage counselling sessions and wants to proceed with divorcing Sue Ellen and getting sole custody of Baby John. Hargrove warns that unless Sue Ellen is proven to be wildly unfit to care for their son, it's more than likely the court will favor her getting custody. He says that the only exceptions would be if she:
Dave Stratton meets up with Cliff in a parking lot so he can covertly (while no one is watching) hand over a briefcase containing damning evidence of JR's connection to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. JR tells Leslie he's not thrilled to hear she's been lunching with Jeremy Wendell, so she points out the need to expand her PR horizons by taking on clients other than Ewing Oil. She tells him that Jeremy is very disappointed that the Westar-Ewing Oil merger never came to fruition, and JR denies that that had ever been a possibility - then is forced to cut their meeting short when Dave Stratton arrives. After hustling Leslie out of his office, JR asks Dave what Cliff has that could possibly link him to the counter-revolution, and Dave convincingly fibs, "Cliff Barnes doesn't have a thing." Over at Casa Barnes, Cliff is perusing the documents from Dave's briefcase, looking so pleased by the proof of JR's misdeeds that he fixes himself a celebratory drink and chirps, "Bye bye, JR!" A few seconds later, Pam drops by to tearfully share that her doctor has confirmed she's physically incapable of carrying a baby to term. Cliff's like, "I dunno what you want me to do 'bout that", suggests she talk to Rebecca about her lady problems, and tells her that right now he really just wants to be alone with his new treasure trove of incriminating-against-JR documents. Pam shoots him a 'the fuck?' glare and angrily asks him if he wants to be alone his entire life, yells at him for repeatedly snubbing their newly re-emerged mother, and storms out of the apartment. Cliff re-opens the briefcase and sorts through the documents...then decides to let Pam's guilt trip get the better of him, and picks up the phone and calls Rebecca. At Southfork that evening, Bobby asks Pam whaddup with her mopey-ness lately, so she tells him that her doctor confirmed her inability to give birth. Bobby scrunches his face perplexedly and unhelpfully asks if there's really nothing they can do to counteract her infertility, and she tells him that the state of her uterus is pretty hopeless and that she couldn't stand to suffer another miscarriage. Bobby says he knows how hard this situation sucks, but reminds her of how much they love each other...and Pam wails about how how badly she wanted to have his baby. Lucy calls Mitch to ask him if it's OK for her to stay another day in Houston, then explains that her handlers want her to appear on a talk show. Mitch snappishly retorts, "Sure, stay a week if you want" and hangs up...and when Lucy tries calling him back, he ignores the ringing phone and storms out of the condo like the prickly little baby man-bitch he is. Cliff lays out some tasty edibles on his coffee table a few seconds before Rebecca drops by. She thanks him for seeing her and makes pleasant small talk about how well he's done for himself by becoming a lawyer. She then throws in the towel on tip-toeing around the awkwardness of the get-together and says they sound like complete strangers...so then Cliff lets it rip about how she ran out on him when he was five years old and left him with a baby sister and a drunken father. As she stammers, "It's hard to explain..", Cliff bellows, "How could a woman dooooo that?!", and a distraught Rebecca makes a beeline over to the door and says that while she didn't expect him to forgive her, she prayed he could try. Cliff insists he has, then has a sudden change of heart as he urgently cries out, "Mamaaaaaa!!" and gets all choked up as he tells her he remembered that she liked licorice. He then picks up the dish he filled with licorice and dramatically thrusts it in her direction - and Rebecca is so moved by the funny looking gesture that soon the two are sobbing and rushing into each other's arms...and I'm thinking that this scene probably shouldn't have made me laugh, much less laugh as hard as I did. The camera pans over the designer shoes and shapely calves of a woman exiting a cab and then flouncing into a hotel lobby...and when she whirls around to check on her luggage, we see that Kristin Shepard and her freakish Joker lips have made their triumphant return to Dallas. During the regularly scheduled Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry meeting, Cliff announces that he needs to address the committee, then starts handing out folders while explaining that they contain evidence of a possible threat to national security, aka a direct link between JR Ewing and the overthrow of a legitimate (though now defunct) Southeast Asian government. Bobby's all, "Wh-a-a-a?" and stares at him in stunned bewilderment while the other senators titter amongst themselves. Rebecca drops by Pam's office to happily report that she visited with Cliff last night, and that he's completely forgiven her for abandoning him when he was a small child. Pam looks skeptical and asks her if Cliff knows she's wealthy, but Rebecca says he only knows that she loves him. When the senate committee adjourns for the day, Bobby angrily reminds Cliff that he's supposed to function as his subordinate, not go over his head and address the panel without any advance warning. He then accuses Cliff of taking this job purely to stab the Ewings in the back - but Cliff argues that he freed Bobby from having to blow the whistle on his own brother or face co-conspiracy charges if he were to withhold the information. Cliff adds that he's more than happy to be "the heavy" on whom the Ewings can dump all of their wrath and frustration. Kristin is on the phone, telling whoever she's talking to that her baby is with friends in L.A., and that the two of them need to get together soon. That evening, Mitch brings his gal pal, whose name we finally learn is Jean, to the condo for some wine and pleasant conversation. When he starts whining to her yet again about having a wife who has the audacity to pursue a modelling career, Jean firmly states that she doesn't want to talk about marriage and/or Lucy, then steers the conversation to med school stuff. Mitch looks momentarily put out by her lack of interest in wanting to listen to his endless bellyaching, but then mercifully agrees to stuff a sock in it about his contrived marital woes. The next morning, Sue Ellen tells JR she's going into the city to buy Baby John some new clothes to replace all the stuff he's outgrown. JR snidely asks her if she wouldn't be happier living in a hotel room or downtown apartment so that she could dispense with making her suitors go through the motions of taking her out to dinner before hitting the sheets...and Sue Ellen somehow refrains from smacking the brazen hypocrite and makes it clear that her place is at Southfork with her child, who's suddenly become the most important thing in her life. After she heads out, Miss Ellie telephones from "Europe" to check in with JR and let him know that the second honeymoon is going great, and that she really misses Sue Ellen and Baby John. Lucy returns home and is aghast to learn that Jean spent the night in the master bedroom while Mitch lays sprawled out on the couch. Mitch is all, "Oops!" and explains that Jean is just a friend, and that they stayed up late talking...and downed so much wine that he felt it was safer for her to spend the night. After Jean wisely beats a hasty retreat, Lucy accuses Mitch of cheating on her, then rails about having to live according to his ridiculous, sexist standards. Mitch stupidly points out this wouldn't have happened if she weren't gallivanting all over Texas having her photo taken, and Lucy responds by icily announcing that she's moving back to Southfork and putting an end to this turd-pile of a toxic marriage. Sue Ellen is sashaying down a downtown street when a limo driver stops her and motions toward the car's passenger seat...from which Dusty suddenly pops out and grins at her. In the next scene, Sue Ellen is walking alongside him as he hobbles on crutches and explains that he recently had spine-correcting/penis-saving surgery, and credits his progress on how desperately he wants her back in his life. Sue Ellen says she's thrilled for him, will do everything she can to help him walk and doink again, and assures him she wants to spend the rest of her life with him...'cause heaven forbid she go any length of time not romantically connected to a man who has the dough to finance her preferred life of leisure. The senate panel decides that the documents Cliff gave them are inconclusive, and a motion is made to table an investigation into JR until they feel the matter warrants further action. A miffed Cliff accuses Bobby of pressuring his committee co-members to not to pursue the matter, but Bobby denies it and says it isn't his style. Later at Southfork, Bobby blabs to JR about the various documents Cliff presented to the senate committee...and JR plays dumb and asks what Cliff could possibly have that connects him to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Bobby's all, "Whoa, dude! That's classified senate information" ... and says this as if he had any business informing JR about a senate committee receiving classified documents in the first place. JR dismissively says that whatever it is is "all a pack of lies", and nonsensically chides Bobby for not demonstrating greater family loyalty. Bobby comes right out and asks him if he had anything to do with the counter-revolution, and JR fibs that while he benefited from it, he didn't actually orchestrate anything. Bobby says he doesn't buy that, warns that the senate investigation has only been tabled...and that if it's activated, Ewing Oil could be destroyed. Egads! Cliff gleefully tells Afton he's very confident he's going to break JR soon...and when Afton asks him why he wants to do that, Cliff says that since he doesn't have a damn life, he's become relentlessly obsessed with plotting JR's downfall. He then tells her his next move will be to hold a press conference and accuse the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry of a massive cover-up. Subsequently.. Leslie is reading the latest edition of The Dallas Press, with the damaging headline splashed across the front page: Alleged Cover-up on Asian Coup by Senate Committee, JR Ewing Linked to Overthrow of Southeast Asian Government. She mulls this over for a few seconds, then calls Jeremy Wendell to set up a meeting about their mutual interests and how quickly she can abandon the sinking ship that is Ewing Oil. JR is on the phone with Hank Johnson, ordering him to find out who's been looking into his illicit activities. When Hank insists he covered his tracks, a dismayed JR retorts that all hell is breaking loose. Jordan Lee drops by Kristin's hotel room, grumbling about unhappy he is to have fathered her baby, which...ew, ew, and double ew. Kristin tells him she could have taken him to court for a far more profitable child support arrangement, and Jordan's like, "Yeah, good point" and opens up his check book and writes her a generous amount. He then warns her to get out of Dallas, otherwise she might run into JR...and she looks intrigued by the prospect and smugly replies, "You're right. I just might." Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Recap: The Ewings are hosting a Bon Voyage party for Jock and Miss Ellie, who [have speedily made up after being at odds for much of Season 4 and] are about to embark on a second honeymoon. Punk Anderson tells JR he really really wants to talk to Jock before he leaves - just as Sue Ellen gets a phone call from Alicia Ogden, who says they need to discuss a workable timeshare arrangement regarding Clint. She offers to stop by Southfork for a chat, but Sue Ellen's all, "Ack! No! We have people over!", and suggests they meet in a more clandestine fashion at a downtown restaurant the day after tomorrow. Jock is seated in the back of a limo, good-naturedly growling about what could be keeping Miss Ellie. Punk rushes over and tries to get Jock interested in hearing about a new land deal - but as soon as Miss Ellie climbs into the limo beside Jock, they speed off to the airport. JR asks Punk what kind of land deal he's considering, so Punk tells him there's a plot of land outside of Lubbock he thinks would be perfect for high density housing. JR says he finds that a fascinating idea that should be hashed out with Ray...and Ray stares into space like a deer in headlights before muttering, "Uh, sure..?" Cliff drops by Pam's office to apologize for behaving like such a jerkwad during the previous episode and invites her to lunch. When Pam stonily declines, Cliff says it's not fair of her to expect him to suddenly feel the same way about Rebecca that she does, declares that they'll prolly never see eye-to-eye about this situation, and gripes about how their once presumed dead mother is threatening their brother-sister bond. Over at Ewing Oil, a miffed Donna snarls at JR, "Why can't you leave well enough alone?!" and says she's verrrrry pissed off at him for setting up Ray for failure with respect to the Lubbock housing project, since he knows damn well that her yokelly husband doesn't have the smarts to handle a deal of this magnitude. JR argues that since Ray is a Ewing spawn he needs to start taking on more responsibilities, then smirkingly doubts that Ray would appreciate finding out his own wife thinks he's too much of a dolt to handle himself while 'wheelin' and dealin' with a hillbilly shitbag like Punk Anderson. Donna just glares back at him, warns that she'll make him pay if Ray gets in over his head, then storms out of the office. That evening at Southfork, Pam tells Bobby she got into a scrap with Cliff over their differing opinions about Rebecca suddenly re-entering their lives. She then suggests the two of them have dinner with Rebecca tomorrow night so that he can finally meet her, and he says he'd be delighted to clear his senate schedule and make time to meet his mama-in-law. Cliff returns to his apartment with a big bag of takeout. He stares glumly at a framed black and white glam photo of Pam that, for some reason, is on display on his coffee table, then wanders over to the telephone to ask the operator to look up his mama's phone number...but then can't bring himself to dial it. Leslie Stewart is in a meeting with Jeremy Wendell, discussing Westar Oil acquiring Ewing Oil, and suggests they make the transition sound as folksy as possible by referring to Ewing Oil as being "in the Westar family". Jeremy doesn't seem entirely thrilled by the concept and asks her if she's spoken to JR today, and she says he hasn't returned her many phone messages, but then reminds Jeremy that he's probably busy with all the happiness surrounding his newly reconciled parents. Jeremy wanks her by complimenting her wonderful PR work and promises to send some Westar Oil projects her way from time to time, then includes her PR savvy in the common interests that both Westar Oil and Ewing Oil share. Lucy is doing some awkward looking splits/stretching exercises in the condo when Mitch returns home in a rare good mood. He suggests they spend a few days relaxing at a friend's lake house, and Lucy squeals, "I looooove that idea!" and gives him a happy smooch. Sue Ellen arrives at her scheduled meeting with Alicia Ogden, a plain looking woman who seems almost awestruck to be in the rarified presence of a well tended Ewing trophy wife. She comes right out and tells Sue Ellen she knows that she and Clint have been hitting the sheets, mostly 'cause of how inept Clint is at carrying on an affair behind her back. She tells Sue Ellen she knows how in love they've been since their college years, but doesn't want to cause Clint a moment's pain and asks for just one favor of her husband's mistress: that she keep the extramarital affair as discreet as possible. An incredulous looking Sue Ellen asks her how she lives knowing her husband is cheating on her, and Alicia says she's totes fine with sharing Clint if it means he won't divorce her. Sue Ellen responds by shaking her head in bewildered puzzlement and says she could never tolerate that kind of marital dysfunction...and says this as if FOR YEARS she hasn't been putting up with JR openly sleeping with every floozy who's ever stumbled into his orbit, and stubbornly staying married to the serial philanderer 'cause of the wealth and status that come along with being a Ewing wife. Later, Sue Ellen calls Clint to tell him they need to talk, and an excited Clint cluelessly suggests they meet up in their usual boom boom room and order room service. LOL. Afton finds Cliff boozing in the Stardrift Lounge and joins him for a drink. When she remarks on how sad he looks, he tells her he's having family problems - but would much rather tell her all about it in his apartment...and in the next scene, the two are in his bed, enjoying some post-coital afterglow. Afton coos about him being the best lover she's ever had - including JR, who disregarded her as a person to the extent that he took phone calls in her presence from some funny sounding [pretend] Southeast Asian countries. Cliff perks up at that revelation and offers to cook her breakfast so they can talk 'bout this some more, then mounts her for some high intensity smooching. JR drops by Leslie's apartment, unannounced, with a bottle of champagne to celebrate a deal he just wrapped up with some out-of-state investors. Leslie coyly tells him it's rumored that Ewing Oil is for sale, and JR scrunches his face in faux confusion and rhetorically asks why he'd ever do a thing like sell his family-operated firm. He then changes the subject to his impending divorce from Sue Ellen, refers to Leslie as his future wife, and pours two glasses of champagne. When he leans in for a smooch, Leslie "accidentally" pours her champagne down the back of his shirt, then tells him they should probably delay their first doink to such time as their next canoodle when he hasn't just been spilled on. After she hustles JR out of her apartment, she returns to her bedroom - where her ex-husband Craig is lounging naked on the bed, chuckling about how perfectly she played JR. The two then laugh about how JR seemed to buy her 'I'm actually considering marrying you' act seriously enough to discuss divorcing his wife. Jeremy Wendell and some cohort named Howard arrive at Ewing Oil to ask JR whassup with him not following through with selling Ewing Oil to Westar. JR breaks the news that after [pretending to have] several phone conferences with Jock, it's been decided to keep Ewing Oil in the family indefinitely. Jeremy glares at him and reminds him he gave his word that the sale of Ewing Oil wouldn't depend on the marital status of Jock and Miss Ellie...and that he's mightily pissed that he's now going to look like a dumb jerk in front of his board. JR does his best to look empathetic and says, "I'm sorry", to which a vexed Jeremy warns, "Not as sorry as you're gonna be." Bobby drops by Casa Yokel to find out why Ray's been shirking his duties as Southfork's head foreman. Donna tells him that Ray is currently meeting with Punk et. al. about the Lubbock housing project and is worried he's in way over his head. Bobby scrunches his face concernedly and says that Southfork is expecting a shipment of steers tomorrow and wishes Ray would focus less on deal making and more on ranching. Pam arrives at Rebecca's new pad for a home cooked lunch...and when Pam laments about how she never has the opportunity to cook now that she lives at Southfork, Rebecca asks why she and Bobby don't move out and get a place of their own - RIGHT??!! - so Pam mumbles about how much Bobby loves the ranch...and adds that, surprisingly, it's been starting to grow on her as well. Rebecca says it seems like a great place to raise children, prompting Pam to put her sad face on and confide in her mom that she's had two miscarriages. Rebecca tells her that two miscarriages does not an infertile woman make, then points out that if the baby thing doesn't work out, she still has a great marriage with a dull-as-dishwater but loving husband. Pam frets that she's become too dependent on Bobby and worries about smothering him with all of her 'I wanna baby' emotional baggage, and Rebecca empathizes and says she can understand her need for children. She urges Pam to see a doctor to determine if she's actually physically capable of having children, and Pam agrees that that's a good idea and invites her mom to tag along on her doctor's appointment. Sue Ellen arrives at hers/Clint's pleasure hotel draped in a fancy fur coat, and Clint gets all smoochy before presenting her with a ginormous diamond ring and professing his desire to make her his second wife. Sue Ellen says she can't accept it 'cause she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up his marriage just so she can "recapture a schoolgirl fantasy", then says she'll always love him "in a special way", but that this undefined special way isn't enough for her anymore. As Clint stares back at her in shattered bewilderment, Sue Ellen tells him he's a wonderful man, chides herself for using him for selfish reasons, then assures him it's better that she crush his soul now rather than months or years from now. She gathers up her fur coat and flounces out of the room, leaving a heartbroken Clint staring after, his face contorted into a funny looking expression of misery. That evening, Sue Ellen puts Baby John to bed...and a few seconds later, Pam ambles into the nursery to help tuck in the little cherub and gush about what a beautiful little boy he is. Sue Ellen declares that she's now decided her child will be her main source of happiness in life, and condescendingly tells Pam she's sorry she doesn't/can't have one, 'cause the abundant joy that is a woman's maternal love can make all the difference. The next morning at Southfork, JR asks Ray how the Lubbock project is coming along...and when Ray pretends it's going great, JR gleefully warns him to try to not lose a bundle of cash during the deal making process. After JR smirkingly leaves for work, Bobby tells Ray he thinks they're going to need to hire a ranch foreman to make up for all the slacking he (Ray) has been doing since being declared a Ewing spawn, but Ray insists that he's still Southfork's head foreman and has everything under control. Once he leaves and is out of earshot, Pam remarks to Bobby that Ray seemed overly cocky just then, and Bobby concurs and says he's clearly afraid to fail at his business dealings. Jeremy Wendell tells Dave Stratton he just had a terrible meeting with his board and therefore wants him to provide Cliff with whatever he needs to get the state senate to launch a full investigation into JR's role in financing the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. He wants JR to be mired in a scandal so devastating that Ewing Oil has its charter revoked...and also lands his new archenemy in prison. JR is surprised to find Sue Ellen in the nursery, asleep in the rocking chair after reading to Baby John. JR picks up his son and tucks him into his crib...and Sue Ellen awakens and coos about what a handsome boy they created, and that he has his father eyes, aka the first thing that attracted her to him (aside from his ability to permanently finance her life of leisure). As the two amble over to their bedroom, Sue Ellen tells JR that her mama had had another man picked out for her, but she dug him (JR) and got the shivers every time he talked to her. As a weirded out JR scrunches his face confusedly at the pleasantness of the conversation they're having, Sue Ellen asks him to explain why he chose her among all the women he could have married, so he reminisces about the first time he laid eyes on her: prancing around a stage in a swimsuit while vying for the Miss Texas crown and somehow managing to pull off the humiliation by not looking like a total hussy. He recalls how much Miss Ellie and Jock loved her when she first showed up at Southfork, and that the best thing they ever coordinated on was having Baby John. Sue Ellen stares sadly into space as she asks, "What happened?" - just as the phone rings with news from California: her sister Kristin has just given birth to JR's out-of-wedlock spawn. Egads! Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! Recap: After arriving in downtown Dallas, Donna asks Miss Ellie if she's absolutely, positively, completely sure she wants to consult a divorce attorney, and Miss Ellie's like, "Hell yeah" and says that lately she's been able to think of little else other than her need to end the nightmare that has become her misery of a marriage to Mr. Crotchety. In a downtown hotel, Jock snarlingly declares to Bobby, "Now you listen to me, boy. The Takapa resort is going to be built!" Bobby tries to explain to his obnoxiously overbearing daddy that an entire panel of senators will be voting on the matter - but an agitated Jock nonsensically growls, "You're still my son, whichever place you're working at." Bobby points out that that doesn't give him the right to influence his vote, to which Jock bellows, "I'm not trying to influence you. I'm telling you what I want you to do!" Bwahahaha! Bobby makes clear that as an elected official he won't allow himself to be railroaded into voting a certain way, tells his idiot father he should have pulled out of the Takapa deal months ago, and that a parcel of swampland couldn't possibly be worth more to him than his forty-five year marriage. Jock grumbles that Miss Ellie has backed him into a corner, but then sheepishly agrees to make a compromise if Bobby can help him find a way out of this tedious Takapa turmoil. Miss Ellie tells her lawyer (Lincoln Hargrove) that she can't bear to live with Jock anymore - and Hargrove looks aghast, reminds her that she and Jock have been married for forty-five years, and strongly urges her to sort out whatever problems they may have. Miss Ellie says their problems run too deep, snarls, "To hell with the empire", and asks Hargrove if he's going to take the case or not. Hargrove says he's going to need some time to mull that over and promises to call her, and Miss Ellie makes it clear that if he doesn't want to represent her, she'll find another lawyer who'd be more than happy to. Dave Stratton remarks to Jeremy Wendell that JR seemed kinda anxious when the Southeast Asian counter-revolution came up in conversation during the previous episode, then says that so far no one's been able to ID him as the coup's financier. Jeremy says that perhaps Cliff will be able to connect the dots, then tells Jeremy to cooperate with JR - but report directly to him any findings Cliff stumbles upon. Over at Ewing Oil, JR gets a complete inventory of all company assets, much to the concern of his accountant, Baxter, who says it sounds as though he wants to sell the company. JR tells him to shut it with his observations and just get him the info he asks for whenever he asks for it. Sue Ellen rushes to the nursery to comfort an under-the-weather Baby John, then calls Clint to cancel the day's nooner. Pam is doing some paperwork in the Southfork sitting room when Sue Ellen wanders in and mutters about how worried she is about Baby John. She adds that the doctor paid him a house call and pronounced his cold a mild illness, and Pam says it's understandable for her to worry and offers to help in any way she can. A few seconds later, Miss Ellie and Donna return from downtown, and Miss Ellie breaks the news that she's thinking seriously of ending her shittastic marriage. After she ambles off, a stunned Pam's all, "I can't believe it", while Sue Ellen wryly says she's surprised that those two have been married this long. LOL. She tells Donna and Pam that love doesn't count for much when it comes to any man that has Ewing blood in him - Ray included - then idly wonders what JR plans to do with himself when Ewing Oil gets dismantled as part of the divorce settlement. Lincoln Hargrove heads straight to Ewing Oil to blab about Miss Ellie's intention to divorce Jock...and does this while seeming completely unconcerned about disbarment for violating client-lawyer privilege. Hargrove urges JR to stop his parents from divorcing, not least 'cause Miss Ellie doesn't seem to give a rat's ass about the destruction of Ewing Oil in the process. JR promises to try to salvage the situation...and after Hargrove exits the office, he phones Jeremy Wendell and says they're going to need to move fast if he has any desire to acquire Ewing Oil. Mitch apologizes to Lucy for acting like such an assbag the night before, and Lucy softens as the two exchange I love yous and walk arm-in-arm towards the bedroom for a morning romp. They're interrupted by a knock on the door by one of Lucy's photo shoot flunkies to inform her that the limo is waiting. As Mitch twitches unhappily, Lucy promises to fix him dinner when she gets home after modelling all day. JR summons Dave Stratton to Oil Ewing and orders him to keep in contact with Cliff and report back what he's up to, along with any info he's gathered on the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Dave says he may have to feed Cliff something in exchange, and JR says he'd be more than happy to give him bits of useless intel to pass along to Cliff. While dining out, Rebecca tells Pam that her daughter Katherine is interested in meeting her half-sister and hopefully half-brother. As Pam expresses sympathy for what happened with Cliff last episode, Cliff happens to be in the same restaurant and spots the two dining together. Leslie tells JR she found a superb suite of offices for her new PR company, which include a bedroom for when she has to work late. JR's penis perks up at the mention of a bedroom, and he asks her if she'd be willing to suspend her 'no sex with married men' policy, to which she responds by saying she can always stay in her current shitty office space. JR backs off and urges her to go ahead with renting the luxury office suite she wants, and the two smooch intensely - just as Louella enters the office to remind JR about his meeting with Jeremy Wendell. Clint gives Sue Ellen a tour of his electronics company and proudly tells her he spent the last ten years building it...but that he's willing to give it all up for her in case he loses it in the divorce settlement. What a dumb chump. Sue Ellen urges him not to divorce his wife 'cause of how content she is with their daily nooners - but Clint says he won't settle for sneaking around, wants her to be his wife not his mistress, and is now going to passively wait for her to come to him whenever she decides she feels the same way. JR reads the fine print of Jeremy Wendell's Ewing Oil acquisition contract before signing...and Jeremy reminds him that in order to make it binding, Jock also has to sign it. He tells JR that he committed to his board that this was going to happen, regardless of Jock's/Miss Ellie's marriage status, and JR breezily assures him they have a deal. Leslie returns to her apartment and finds her ex-husband Craig waiting for her. She tells him she's delighted to see him, then gives him the low-down on her latest target: JR Ewing. She chuckles about what a valuable client he's been, and how she's been holding him at arm's length 'cause she correctly assumes that once they hit the sheets he'll lose interest in her pretty quick. She tells Craig that if she were successful in suckering JR into marrying her, she'd get a great client list out of it, along with an enormous divorce settlement. [Assuming he'd neglect to ask her to sign a prenup, which I find highly doubtful.] Craig glances around the room and asks her if she's taping this conversation, and she laughs and says she only tapes people who are useful to her...and that he ceased being useful to her the moment he divorced her. Cliff bursts into Pam's office at The Store to inform her that the woman he saw her eating lunch with yesterday is a fraudster who's pretending to be a friend of their mother's. Pam calls him a damn fool with his bitterness and suspicious nature and breaks the news that the alleged fraudster is their bio mom. Senate committee hearing! The panel is ready to discuss all things Takapa in front of both interested parties: Unified Development (Jock et. al.) and The DOA (Miss Ellie et. al.). As the hearing gets underway, Bobby interjects to tell the senators he's pretty sure he can save the committee a lengthy hearing by suggesting a compromise. When he's given the green light, he displays a regional map of Takapa and points at a parcel of semi-developed land located in close proximity to the swampland the DOA wants to preserve. He explains that he purchased this land with his own funds, and is willing to donate it to Unified Development in exchange for them agreeing to donate the original Takapa parcel of land to the state of Texas to be designated a wildlife preserve. After a few seconds of excited tittering by everyone in attendance, the senators agree that, yep, it's a fair and reasonable proposal...and both Unified Development and the DOA concur. Hurray! After the hearing adjourns, a pleased looking Jock tells Miss Ellie he's sooooo glad this storyline is finally over, but she just shoots him the stink-eye and snarls, "The only thing that's over is this hearing", and stomps off as Ray and Donna stare after her concernedly. At Southfork that evening, Pam tells Bobby that since Miss Ellie looks supremely pissed off, she assumed that he voted against the DOA at the hearing. Bobby says, in fact, he worked out "a pretty terrific compromise" that made both sides happy, and Pam sheepishly apologizes for leaping to the wrong conclusion. Afton is singing in the Stardrift Lounge as Cliff hangs with Dave Stratton and tells him about the gut feeling he has that JR was somehow involved in the Southeast Asian counter-revolution, and is determined to figure out how it links to Hank Johnson. Dave asks him why he's so interested in something that doesn't remotely concern him, and Cliff just shrugs and says that since he doesn't have a fucking life, everything about Ewing Oil fascinates him. The camera then pans over to the stage where Afton is singing...and stays fixed on the bosomy blonde for the entire duration of her song (!). After she takes her final bow, she ambles over to where Cliff is sitting and asks if she knows him...and he's like, "Hey, that's my line!" and invites her to join him for a drink. Afton says he actually does look familiar to her, and the two quickly learn that he's Pam's brother and she's Lucy's sister-in-law. She tells Cliff that the Ewings have been very kind to her, particularly JR, and Cliff is all, "I'll just bet he has" but then seems intrigued by her slutty connection to his archenemy. Jock calls JR at the office to grumble about how impossible it is to communicate with Miss Ellie, and therefore assumes that the divorce is a go. JR tells him he's been in talks with Jeremy Wendell about selling Ewing Oil - just as Ray arrives at Jock's hotel room to travel with him to the new Takapa development site. JR insists that they urgently need to talk, but Jock growls, "Not now" and hangs up on him. Ray and Donna conspire to get Jock and Miss Ellie to run into each other at Casa Yokel so they can quickly make up [and wrap up filming Jim Davis' final scenes now that, sadly, he's about to become far too ill to make it to the Dallas set anymore]. Ray tells Miss Ellie he knows that the main source of tension is Jock's announcement that he's his bio son, which led to Gary no longer feeling guilty about starring in Dallas' spin-off show. Ray insists that he never intended to hurt her by making her think he ever presumed to take Gary's place, and she bitchily snaps, "It's a little late for that!" Ray [somehow refrains from telling her where she can stuff her bitchitude] and says he went to his lawyer last night and had papers drawn up that bar him from having any legal claim to Southfork or the Ewing spawns' trust, and hands them to Miss Ellie so she can look them over. As Jock gruffly warns him to not give up his birthright, Miss Ellie tells Ray that she can't let him do this, and admits that she's been clinging to the futile hope that Gary will one day want to return to Southfork. She acknowledges that he's likely never coming back, given how miserable he always was on the ranch, and nonsensically blamed him (Ray) and also channelled all of her hurt and anger in Operation Save Takapa From Being Developed Into a Shopping Mall. She tearfully tells Ray, "You are a Ewing" and says she wants him to stay at Southfork...and when a hopeful looking Jock asks if that invitation extends to him, she smilingly replies, "Oh yes." She asks Jock to forgive her for nearly destroying their marriage, and he replies, "There's nothing to forgive" - despite how cuntily she's behaved towards Ray for the last twelve episodes - and the two happily exchange I love yous and declare all of their marital problems water under the bridge. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"! |
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