Recap: Jeff ambles into the kitchen late at night and finds Fallon there, about to fix herself a snack. He flirtily tells her he'd like a sandwich too...and she suddenly decides she's not hungry anymore. Jeff's like, "Hey, come on" and says she doesn't have to run away from him just 'cause they enjoyed a good doink in Montana. He reminds her that they live in the same house and need to feel comfortable with each other...and Fallon admits that she may have overreacted, and the two relax and start bantering. Kirby suddenly appears in the doorway, looking visibly peeved that her husband and his ex-wife are being so jovial with each other. Jeff explains that he and Fallon were just shooting the breeze, then invites her to join them, but she just shoots him the stink-eye and stalks off. Jeff mutters to Fallon that he lost his appetite and runs out after Kirby. He finds her crying in the bathroom and demands that she open the door so he can explain himself. She snaps back that she has nothing to say to him, and he gets irked and tells her that she can stay in there until she can figure out what the hell's wrong with her...then declares that he's going back downstairs to make himself a sandwich. The next morning, Fallon runs into Jeff on the staircase, and he gets all flirty with her again. Fallon wearily says, "Don't start" and continues downstairs, where she catches Blake as he's leaving for the office. He tells her he's attending an oil conference in Los Angeles tomorrow, so she asks him if she can hitch a ride with him on his private jet 'cause there's an architect she needs to meet with...and naturally Blake says that that would be A-OK with him. Fallon enters the breakfast room and finds Adam loading up his plate with delicious looking carbs. He tells her he expects an apology from her for openly suspecting that he was the one who had poisoned Jeff, then pretends his only involvement in the sordid matter was protecting his mother. Fallon snorts derisively and says if that's actually true, he's still guilty of keeping quiet about a crime while it was being committed. She refuses to ever forgive him, and Adam glares at her and goes, "What's your problem? Are you some kind of sexual anorexic?" and says she could use some penetration, which she used to regularly get when she was more slutty. Bwahahahahaha!!!!! Fallon snarls, "How dare you speak to me like this!" and tries to slap him across the face, but he blocks the slap by grabbing her wrist. She then gets all in his face and barks, "Scum!" then storms out. Holy fucking crap that scene was unexpectedly awesome! Steven gets a call from Alexis, summoning him to a breakfast meeting...and Claudia gets annoyed and grumbles about how frequently his mother intrudes on their personal time. Steven explains that he's been doing some research on Canadian tar sands and needs to discuss it with Alexis asap. Claudia says she's irritated by Alexis' constant demands, and Steven snaps back that he works in the oil business, and that it's not a nine to five type of career. Krystle flounces into Blake's office at Denver-Carrington clutching a newspaper, and Blake shoots her a grim look, says, "I know", and tells her he was just reading Alexis' version of events as to why the Denver-Carrington/ColbyCo merger was cancelled. Apparently, Alexis told the reporter she cancelled the merger 'cause of how badly Denver-Carrington's growth potential sucks. Krystle wails, "It's slander!" and Blake agrees, but says he can't sue her 'cause it'll re-open the tedious Alexis-supposedly-poisoned-Jeff storyline. Krystle asks him if it'd be OK for her to release Denver-Carrington's financials, which demonstrate a growth rate that is way more impressive than ColbyCo's. Blake gives his consent, then smiles approvingly and says, "I like your fighting style, champ" and Krystle smugly grins and says, "Oh, I've just begun to fight." He invites her to accompany him to Los Angeles tomorrow and says he's interested in buying a race horse - which seems completely random, but whatever - and Krystle agrees, then says she'd better get back to work. He asks her if she's enjoying her new job, and she flashes him a nauseatingly serene smile and says she really enjoys sharing in his work day. After she flounces out, Blake gets on the phone with Jensen the Jeweler and orders him to design a very special ring. Alexis is lifting hand weights in her penthouse while decked out in a silly '80s style body suit, tights, and superfluous leg warmers. Jeff bursts in and asks her whaddup with her quote in today's newspaper, then scrunches his face in disgust and calls it garbage. He declares that he wants nothing more to do with her, and orders her to either sell him her shares of ColbyCo or buy him out of the company. Alexis mulls that over and agrees to the latter. Later in the penthouse, Alexis is getting a mani and pedi while barking at her lawyer, Gerald, on the phone. She snappishly orders him to draw up papers to buy up all of Jeff's ColbyCo shares. Steven arrives at the penthouse and hands her his report on the Canadian tar sands. He says he's perplexed by her sudden interest in this 'cause he's concluded that it's not economically feasible. He then demands an explanation for why the merger was called off and asks if Blake was involved, and Alexis shakes her head dramatically and says her ex-husband's hollow threats don't bother her. When Steven shoots her a wary stink-eye, she snarks that she doesn't much care for the way he's glaring at her...and reminds him that everything she does, ultimately, is for his benefit and that of little Danny. Jeff tells Blake he no longer owns shares of ColbyCo, then jokes that he's now pounding the pavement looking for work. Blake reminds him that he owns 47% of Denver-Carrington, is like a son to him, and invites him to look after the company while he's on his Los Angeles boondoggle. When Adam enters the office for some contrived reason, Blake tells him the good news about Jeff working at Denver-Carrington again. Adam pretends to be delighted and congratulates him...but when Blake strolls across the room to break out the champagne, Adam and Jeff glare hatefully at each other. Claudia drops by ColbyCo to pick up Steven for dinner...and when she runs into Alexis, she bitchily admonishes her for rifling through Steven's closets in an effort to control his wardrobe and his personal life. Alexis chuckles and says she was actually rifling through her wardrobe, and Claudia's all, "Wha-a?!" and asks what's wrong with the way she dresses. Alexis tells her she badly wants to replace her frump-wear with some chic garments (yay!), and Claudia's like, "Thanks - but no thanks. I don't need any gifts from you." Alexis is like, "Uh, yeah you do" and says she doesn't seem to realize what's expected of her, now that she's Steven's wife beard...and reminds her that society and the world will judge them by how they act and dress. She apologizes if insisting on a much needed fashion makeover upsets her, then in a breathy voice asks her to accept her apology. Claudia sullenly says, "I'll think about it" and storms out. Jeff is doing some paperwork in the Carrington manor study when Dex, who's casually dressed in jeans and a suede jacket (yum!), drops by to see Blake. Jeff tells him he's currently in Los Angeles, then gushes about how honored he is to meet Sam Dexter's son. The two chat about the merger, blah blah, and when Dex asks why it got called off, Jeff says he's not at liberty to say - but does tell him that he jumped ship at ColbyCo and now works for Blake again. Dex wishes him well and struts out. Dex is admiring a painting in Alexis' penthouse when Mark enters the room, and the two men grunt introductions at each other as Alexis sweeps down the stairs. She frostily tells Mark, "You know where your room is" and Mark obediently mumbles, "The downstairs suite" and disappears downstairs. Alexis tells Dex she normally conducts business meetings in her office (not her penthouse), then asks what was so damn important. He gazes at her and replies, "A dinner invitation" then says he thought their dinner conversation could include why Jeff now works at Denver-Carrington and what really happened with the merger. Alexis politely declines his dinner invitation, then sexily sashays to the elevator and asks him to leave. Dex says he knows an excellent Italian restaurant, then suddenly grabs her and forcibly smooches her...and Mark happens to come back upstairs at that moment. Alexis asks Dex if he always goes around kissing women he hardly knows, and he nonsensically replies, "You have a fantastic mouth." LOL. As an intrigued looking Alexis stares at Dex as he exits the penthouse, Mark clears his throat to make his presence known and looks visibly miffed at having to witness the smoochfest. Alexis brusquely orders him to fix her a martini, then says in the future he's to remain in his hovel until summoned. After she heads back upstairs, Mark bitterly mutters that he should put cyanide in her martini. Tracy tells Adam she has a press release she'd like him to sign off on, and when he absently says he'll get to it later, she insists that it needs to be released today. He looks charmed by her chutzpah and asks why she's in such a hurry...then correctly assumes it's 'cause she wants to have all the glory for the press release while Krystle is out of town. Tracy says she's eager to promote Denver-Carrington's new real estate complex - the Plaza - then admits to being ambitious and liking tooting her own horn. Adam suddenly gets buzzed to report to Jeff's office immediately...and on his way out, he smiles seductively at Tracy and says, "Don't go anywhere, I'll be back." Jeff orders Adam to look into a foreman who's been getting complained about by his employees. He's probably one of those douchebag workplace bullies. Adam says he doesn't have time for the menial task 'cause he's too busy dealing with the new Carrington Plaza, and Jeff snarks that he probably just made that up to get out of dealing with the foreman. (That my was impression too.) He asks Adam why he insists on fighting him on everything, and Adam says it's 'cause he's never treated him as an equal. Jeff growls, "That's a crock" and claims that he's just miffed at him 'cause he married Kirby...and Adam denies that and bitchily announces that he's off to the Plaza. Adam returns to his office, where Tracy is dutifully waiting. He tells her he likes ambition, then presses his body against hers and plants a big smooch on her...'cause, yeah, that's an appropriate way to behave toward subordinates in the workplace. Tracy looks kind of into it, but then teasingly tells him she doesn't mix business with pleasure. When she extricates herself from his grip, he approves her press release and says, "This round goes to you...but I'll win" then chuckles as she flounces back to her office. Blake, Krystle, and Fallon arrive at a horse track in Los Angeles. Blake runs into some guy named Ed McFaddon...and the two, along with Krystle, head off to the bar to get caught up. Fallon, meanwhile, sits at a table and places a bet on one of the horses...and a handsome stranger with a European accent, who just happens to be sitting behind her, urges her to change her bet and wager on a different horse. Fallon lets her original bet stand and sassily tells the man she always makes her own decisions. A little while later, the horse race begins...and we get to watch the whole looooong thing in real time. Fallon is bummed when her horse ends up losing to the horse that the handsome stranger urged her to bet on. That evening, the handsome stranger shows up at Fallon's hotel room with a bouquet made up of roses and cash. He explains that he placed a $1,000 bet for her on his horse and is now presenting her with her winnings. Fallon says she can't possibly accept this weird gift and asks him how on earth he figured out which room (or hotel, for that matter) she was staying in. He vaguely says he got her name from "friends at the track", and then introduces himself as Peter De Vilbis. Fallon nods knowingly and calls him "an infamous playboy", and he doesn't deny it and breezily says he works very hard in fourteen countries. He then opens the door and motions for the hotel staff to wheel in a food filled cart...and a few seconds later, a small group of violinist arrive. Peter jokingly says, "Management ordered this" and Fallon looks charmed and starts giggling. Peter stares at her with creepish intensity...and in the next scene, the two are slow dancing to violin music. When the musicians finish their song, Peter thanks them, pays them, and dismisses them. Fallon thanks him for a special evening, and he says, "It vill be a good night for us. I vant you" and kisses her intensely. He stares deeply into her eyes and smugly declares, "And you vant me" then kisses her again. Fallon looks overcome with desire as he slides off her nightgown, and thankfully the uber-schmaltzy scene fades to black. The next morning, Fallon and Peter wake up in the sack together, spooning. He smarmily gushes about how beautiful she is in the morning, and she grins and asks him how he knew which horse going to win the race. He says he used to own the winning horse, and that he flew it to the United States to raise it. Fallon marvels about all the things he owns - the winning horse, this hotel - and says he reminds her of a man she's admired her whole life (oh ick...she's talking about Blake). Peter gamely says he can take that competition, and the two start going at it again. Fallon enters the hotel restaurant where Blake and Krystle are dining and tells them she's going to stay in Los Angeles for a few extra days. She assures them that everything is wonderful, then mentions that she has an appointment with the architect. After she rushes off, a perplexed Blake tells Krystle that Fallon had a peculiar glow about her, and that it's weird she'd be so excited about meeting with an architect. He then hands Krystle a rose from the centerpiece and smarmily says he can't tell which is prettier: her or the flower. Peter, meanwhile, is back in his hotel suite, snorting blow. His lawyer drops by to remind him that he owes The Italians $6 million. Peter tells him he just met a fascinating girl whose father has millions, and that the money may take a couple of days to extract from her. Jeff is meeting with Kirby's doctor to ask him if it's medically OK for her to go on a cruise. The doctor's like, "Yep, it's OK for a woman who's five months pregnant to go sailing around the ocean" and Jeff furrows his furry brows and says, actually, she's only three months along. The doctor then brazenly violates doctor/patient confidentiality and says she was three months pregnant at the time of her first appointment...but that was two months ago. Jeff quickly does the math, is all, "Wha-a?!" and speeds home. Jeff storms into the mansion and cocks his head to the side when he hears Kirby's piano playing. He stalks over to the sitting room and tells his wife he wants to talk to her upstairs NOW! She trails behind him, looking puzzled and repeatedly asks whassup. Jeff waits until they reach their bedroom, then demands to know what game she's playing, and accuses her of marrying him while knowing she was pregnant. Kirby looks sheepishly horrified and says she didn't know she was knocked up when they got married, and assures him that she doesn't love the man who impregnated her. When Jeff continues to glare at her, she shrieks, "I was raped!" Jeff asks her who raped her, and she tears up and squeaks, "Adam." Jeff looks shocked, then enraged, then completely icked out as he stares at her in disbelief and mumbles, "My God. You're carrying Adam's baby?" That was kind of a strange, dickish reaction. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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