Recap: David delivers flowers to Kelly, who's been admitted to a rehab hospital so she can be treated for her cocaine addiction. She gushes about the flowers and tells David to thank the rest of the gang for their thoughtfulness. David apologizes for not being there for her while she was perpetually coked out, but she assures him it's not his fault, and that she was pretty much shutting everyone out. She's confident she'll get through rehab without incident and neatly wrap up her "cocaine arc" storyline. Colin suddenly drops by with his own "get well soon" bouquet, so David leaves them alone to talk, but shoots Colin the stink-eye on his way out. Colin asks Kelly how she's doing, then boasts that he's been clean for a whole week. He then says he doesn't think either of them need to be in rehab, and that they could easily kick the habit without professional help. He admits that things got out of hand and that, somewhere inside his coke-addled brain, he knew they had to eventually stop snorting so much blow every day. Kelly cuts him off and says they're not good for each other...and by not good, she means very very bad. But she doesn't blame him for her drugging 'cause it was a two way street. Colin is annoyed that he has no say in their break-up (um, that's generally how break-ups go), then tells her he loves her. Kelly stands firm against his manipulative BS and firmly tells him it's over. Yay! It's about damn time.
The Walsh house. Susan, Clare, and David come by to pick up Steve and Brandon for a planned ski trip to Mammoth Mountain. Valerie and David linger in the doorway for a few minutes and interact awkwardly. He invites her to come skiing, but she declines and says it's not the same now that they're no longer a couple...so she wishes him a fun weekend and then dejectedly shuffles off toward the kitchen. Upstairs, Steve is excitedly packing for the trip, and Susan is bragging to Brandon about what an awesome skier she is. She teases him and says he's not as good, being from Minneapolis and all...which was weird 'cause I'm pretty sure there's plenty of snow and skiing in Minnesota.
Rehab. Kelly tells Jackie that the rehab staff is doing a good job of keeping her busy...but she can't wait to be released because the food is so horrendous. They meet up with Kelly's doctor, who tells Jackie that Kelly is adjusting to rehab very well - so well, in fact, that she's getting a roommate named Tara. [Spoiler: eeeek!!]
Mammoth Mountain. The gang arrives at the lodge, but David isn't in the mood to ski and prefers to lay around and mope. Not sure why he bothered coming along on the trip then. Steve says he's going to need to find David some female action, but Clare advises him to stay out of it. Susan announces she's heading over to the ski shop, then jokingly asks Brandon if he needs her to get him some training poles. Once she's out of earshot, Steve asks Brandon whassup with her continual harping on his inferior skiing abilities, and Brandon's like, "I dunno" but that it's really starting to piss him off.
An attractive blonde woman approaches Clare and Susan in the ski shop and tells them that her room reservation somehow got lost, then asks if she can bunk with them. That's...a weird thing to ask a couple of total strangers. Susan explains that they're there with their boyfriends, so...no. The blonde woman sadly reminisces about when she used to have a boyfriend, and Clare suddenly gets an idea and asks her if she'd like to meet their cute, single guy friend. The woman, whose name is Mary, is definitely into the idea, so the three make plans to meet at the lodge for drinks at 5pm.
Rehab. Tara wakes up from what looks like a very troubled sleep, and Kelly says hello and introduces herself. She asks Tara if she needs anything, but Tara just rolls over and starts sobbing. Kelly tells her it'll all be OK, then fidgets uncomfortably 'cause she clearly has no idea what to say or do next.
Mammoth Mountain. Steve and Brandon are strolling around the lodge when Steve spots a pretty blonde woman. He remarks to Brandon that she'd be perfect for David, so the two head over to see if she'd be interested in meeting a dork. Turns out her name is also Mary, and when they tell her they have a single friend and then point David out, she agrees he's adequately cute. She tells them she has some stuff to do right now, so they arrange to get together for drinks at 5pm (uh oh). Steve is extraordinarily proud of his matchmaking abilities and says he wishes he had a friend like him...and Brandon wryly retorts, "Yeah...me too."
The Peach Pit. Donna's seated at the counter when a story comes on the TV about a new, experimental treatment for exactly the kind of defective heart Joe has. She perks up and jots down the information.
Beach house. Donna's on the phone, talking to someone about athletes and heart conditions...and Joe just happens to drop by as she's finishing up the call. She tells him about the news segment she just saw, and that it could mean a cure for his heart condition. Joe, however, isn't very enthused and tells her his doctors probably would have told him if there was a treatment or cure for his ailment. Donna gets annoyingly pushy about him pursuing the experimental procedure, and he looks kind of pissed and goes, "You don't give up, do you?"
Mammoth Mountain. Clare and Steve happily declare that they're going to spend the day shushing down the bunny hill, and Susan boasts to Brandon that she'll be over on the black diamond hills...then asks him if she'll be on her own. Brandon goes, "Keep it up and you just may be", and she tells him there's no shame in admitting he's not a strong skier 'cause he has so many other great qualities. God she's fucking annoying. Brandon assures her he'll be skiing on the black diamond hills with her.
The Peach Pit. Valerie runs into Colin, and the two discuss their break-ups and agree that they're both depressed. He asks her what she's doing for dinner, so she invites him to dine with her at Casa Walsh. He's reluctant to go to a house where all the residents despise him, but she assures him she'll have the place to herself for the evening. He agrees to swing by at 8pm.
Brandon and Susan head over to a hill called Rollercoaster and we get a lot of superfluous footage of their stunt doubles skiing and doing fancy aerial tricks. Susan reaches the bottom of the hill before Brandon and acts annoyingly cocky about it, so he challenges her to a race. I'm hoping for a large avalanche.
The Walsh house. Colin phones to tell Valerie he can't focus on his newest shitty painting 'cause he just keeps thinking about their dinner. He asks her if he can come over earlier than 8pm, and she's like, "Sure!"
Mammoth Mountain. Susan wants to showcase more of her daredevil skiing 'cause she's being an insufferable narcissist in this episode, so she tells Brandon she'd like to try some un-patrolled hills. Brandon agrees that that sounds like a fantastic idea and follows her to the "Keep out - danger!" area.
Rehab. Donna visits Kelly and gives her a toy parrot that repeats back whatever people say, and Kelly loves it. Donna tells her she's glad she's in rehab and that she was worried she'd lose her. Kelly agrees she went "over the edge" during her drugging, but is glad to be back. She tells Donna about her new roommate, not that there's much to say 'cause all she's done so far is sleep and weep. Apparently the little urchin is a runaway who's been living on the streets. Donna tells her that everyone went on a ski trip, but she skipped it 'cause Joe wasn't into it. And speaking of Joe, she mentions the experimental new procedure she thinks might cure Joe's defective heart...but unfortunately he's not really that interested in pursuing it. Tara suddenly enters the room and looks wigged out at the sight of Kelly and Donna hanging out. Kelly introduces her to Donna, but Tara just looks spooked and says she doesn't want to intrude, and scurries off. She's definitely one odd little ragamuffin. Kelly tells Donna she hopes the freak will eventually loosen up, otherwise it's going to be a long three weeks.
Mammoth Mountain. Clare and Steve make it back to the lodge just as an announcement is made that the lifts are closing in twenty minutes. They run into David, and Steve informs him that his self imposed solitude is about to end. Clare scrunches her doll like face and is all, "Wuh?" and suddenly the two blonde Marys appear at the exact same time to have drinks and meet David. When David learns he's been set up with not one - but two ladies, he freaks out and says he's going out to ski...even though the lifts are about to close for the night. Meanwhile, Susan and Brandon ski past a Stop! sign, and the music gets all ominous, and the mountain looks perilous while the wind starts howling. After an impressive aerial leap, Susan takes a hard tumble (bwahaha!) and writhes around in pain. Brandon scrambles to climb over to her, and she whines that she can't move her leg. The wind quickly gets worse, and Brandon solemnly declares, "We gotta get out of this weather, or we're gonna die." Oh...if only the writers dared take us there.
The Walsh house. Valerie's preparing dinner when Colin arrives with a bottle of wine. They spend a few minutes reminiscing about when they first met, blah blah...and then he thanks her for everything she's done for him and his shit-tastic art career. He says she's been a good friend to him...better than he deserves. True enough. He also adds that he's keeping far away from the white powder these days.
Mammoth Mountain. David slinks back into the lodge once the Marys have cleared out. Clare observes that Brandon and Susan haven't returned from their ski run, but Steve isn't worried and says they'll probably turn up any minute.
Brandon and Susan are huddled against a big rock, and they both agree it was insanely stupid to ski out of bounds. She apologizes for getting him into this, as well she should. The two search their bags for sustenance, but all they come up with is brandy and a chocolate bar. Susan moans that her leg is swelling up and asks, "We're in trouble, huh?" Brandon's like, "D'yuh" and tells her he's going to crawl around for some wood so he can build a fire...and then the two bicker about whether or not it's a good idea to drink brandy in freezing temperatures. For the record, it's not. So please drink up.
Beach house. Donna tells her dad about the experimental medical procedure she wants Joe to undergo, and he rails at her about how risky it is, and says it's not covered by insurance. Donna stubbornly insists she wants to do everything possible to help her ailing boyfriend, so Papa Martin asks her what Joe thinks of all this, and she says he's not at all into the idea 'cause he doesn't want to get his hopes up. She continues to plead, so Papa Martin agrees to call the doctor who's leading the study. This subplot is possibly even more boring than the ski trip storyline.
The Walsh house. Colin and Valerie have finished dinner, and they both agree they're outsiders among the Beverly Hills, 90210 set and therefore understand each other. They stare at each other longingly for a few seconds, then start smooching.
Mammoth Mountain. The snow patrollers head out to look for any stragglers, and Steve is worried that something terrible might have happened to Brandon and Susan. One of the lodge staff makes the moment even more tense when he announces that it's going to be a very cold night out...and unless his friends have some survival skills, they may die. Egads!
While huddled against the big rock, Susan tells Brandon she's scared, and that the patrollers should have found them by now. Brandon assures her they will; they just have to stay awake.
Rehab. Tara is having a bad dream and screaming, "Get away from me!" The ruckus wakes up Kelly, and she pokes at Tara to jar her out of her nightmare. Tara apologizes for screeching in her sleep...then tells Kelly to leave her alone. Kelly goes back to her bed and tells Tara about a nightmare she keeps having: getting raped by Creepy in the previous episode. She says that in the dream she lets the guy do whatever he wants so she can get the coke, and Tara says that pretty much describes the story of her life. That's...disturbing.
Mammoth Mountain. Brandon does his best to keep Susan from falling asleep, but she keeps whining that she's very tired. He warns her, "Sleep is bad!" but then starts to nod off himself.
Donna brings Joe to church to pray for his bum heart...and after some initial hemming and hawing, Joe tells her that praying for him is the most wonderful thing anyone's ever done for him, and Donna smiles sanctimoniously because she's the most awesomely sweet natured virginal cherub who's ever walked the earth. Blech, writers. Blech!
Mammoth Mountain. The head of the patrollers tells Steve, David, and Clare that they're giving up on the search 'cause the storm is getting too bad. Steve says there must be something they can do, and the guy explains that he can't endanger his team to search for a couple of idiots who brazenly ignored warning signs and safety rules. Clare barks, "But what about our friends?" and before the guy can retort that he doesn't give a rat's ass, he gets a message on his walkie-talkie thing: two skiers who flouted all reasonable safety precautions have been found! What a relief.
The Walsh house. Colin phones Valerie and tells her he had a wonderful evening, even though she ejected him from Casa Walsh before they could doink. He invites her out for breakfast, so they make plans to go to some out of the way place on the beach.
Rehab. Kelly and Tara are making pottery things during an art therapy session. Tara tells her all about how she ran away when she was fourteen and doesn't know how to get in touch with her parents 'cause they moved away. Kelly says she's sorry to hear that, and Tara starts smashing her clay like a deranged person. This doesn't bode well.
The Peach Pit. Steve, Clare, Brandon, and Susan (who's wearing a leg brace) enter the diner. Nat asks them how their trip went, and Steve nonsensically tells him that one of them struck gold. We then see that David is still at Mammoth Mountain, sitting on a love-seat with his arms around both Marys...and for some reason, the two attractive women, who could each do a hell of a lot better than David, look positively delighted to be in his company.
As fucking if.