Recap: Donna and Clare are hanging out in the Student Union, discussing their upcoming garage sale (or should it be called a yard sale?), while a ragged looking Kelly twitches from withdrawal. She tells them she's not feeling well and abruptly leaves, and Donna stupidly wonders aloud if she has the flu. Kelly runs into Valerie on her way out, and Valerie cheerfully asks her if she's all set for tomorrow's garage sale, and Kelly grunts, "Whatever" and charges past her. Valerie asks Clare and Donna whassup with Miss Personality, and Donna says Kelly's just been feeling down lately. Valerie wryly retorts that it's more likely that she's "coming down" after her latest drug fueled binge. She adds that Kelly doesn't so much have a drug problem as a problem getting drugs...and this causes Donna and Clare to look troubled and contemplative. Kelly heads over to Colin's on-campus art studio, where he's finishing up a class, and complains to him that she's tired all the time, isn't having any fun (seriously?), and can't seem to snap out of her current funk. He asks her if she wants a hit right now, and she says definitely not...then pauses and asks him if he has any dope on him. She decides she'd like a hit after all, then reaches into his front pocket and pulls out the vial of coke he always seems to have on him, gives him a 'thank you' smooch, and rushes off to indulge in a much needed snort.
Brandon arrives at the Condor newsroom with lunch for him and Susan, and is dismayed (as was I) to see Jonathan hanging out in Susan's office...yet again. Brandon calls Susan to come get her food, then asks her what Jonathan's doing here...yet again. She says he's on assignment, so Brandon asks her why he's not working out of his hotel room, and Susan says she told him he could use her office, which is apparently a privilege afforded to alums who have absolutely no pride or resources of their own. Jonathan saunters over to say hi to Brandon, then tells him about a cool assignment he's doing on biplanes. He invites Brandon to come to the airfield for a ride, and encourages him to bring his buddies along. Brandon firmly declines, but Jonathan insists and assures him that biplane flying is super fun, and leaves him his contact info in case he changes his mind.
Beach house. Donna has decided to use the term bazaar for their garage sale, and she's hanging up a bunch of homemade signs around the apartment. Clare asks her if she has any safety pins - and she says she doesn't, but suggests checking Kelly's room...and I think we can all guess where this is going. Clare rifles through Kelly's drawers and comes across a vial of cocaine. She shows it to Donna, who scrunches her big face and clucks, "Poor Kelly." Clare gets irked by her reaction and tells her that if the police were to search the premises, the two of them could get busted along with Kelly. Donna tells her she's blowing the blow situation out of proportion, so Clare informs her dimwitted roommate that a charge of cocaine possession comes with mandatory sentencing. To bring the point home, she cites an undesirable newspaper headline: The Chancellor's Druggie Daughter and Rose Princess Get Busted. Haha! That would be such an awesome storyline. She orders Donna to talk to Kelly about her drug use, and Donna solemnly promises she will.
The Walsh house. Valerie's sorting through a pile of her clothing to determine what she'll donate to the bazaar...and when she asks David for his input, he disinterestedly mumbles that she should just get rid of everything. Valerie tosses the clothes aside and mounts him, and the two start going at it just as the phone rings. It's her old pal Ginger, who chides Valerie for not returning any of her calls. She informs her that she'll be in L.A. at around noon tomorrow, and Valerie snarks back that she has no interest in seeing her, then hangs up. She fibs to David and tells him it was a wrong number...but he doesn't buy that, so she tells him it was someone she doesn't want to talk to. David's like, "Whatever" and the two continue to make out. Downstairs, Steve advises Brandon to "play ball" with Jonathan 'cause he really really wants to go biplane flying. Apparently he's tried it before and it's awesome. Brandon mulls that over and says he's starting to warm up to the idea.
Beach house. Kelly arrives at the apartment with Colin, and Clare and Donna give her the stink-eye and remind her that she was supposed to have been there hours ago to help out with the bazaar. Kelly, who's acting extra coked up, says they're just a little late...and then Donna asks her if she can speak with her privately. Colin's intervention radar suddenly goes off, and he warns Kelly that they need to split, like pronto 'cause, "Things are getting a little too weird for me." Kelly agrees and follows him toward the door, but Donna stops her and sternly orders her to talk to her now or never again. The ultimatum gives Kelly pause, and she asks Colin to wait for her in the car, which he obediently does. Kelly jokingly asks her roommates if she's grounded, and Clare says she's not, but that she's out of line. Kelly impatiently snarks that she simply forgot about the stupid sale, so Donna informs her that Clare found something in her room...and by something she means a vial of coke. Kelly angrily demands to know what Clare was doing in her room, and Donna says they're just worried about her. Kelly insists she's fine, and that her life is super in the following ways:
Clare coldly reminds her that she's also addicted to a lethal narcotic...but Kelly denies it, so then Clare snarks back that she's full of it and obviously totally high right now. Furthermore, she has no desire to get busted by the cops 'cause Kelly carelessly left her drugs lying around the apartment, and Kelly's like, "Fine, so leave." Clare snarkishly agrees that that's a great idea, but then Kelly suddenly offers to move out instead. That makes a whole lot more sense, her being the druggie and all. Clare likes the sound of that and tosses Kelly her vial of coke and snaps at her to take the evidence with her. Kelly stares back at her with a hurt expression and quietly slinks out the front door.
Colin's loft. An over-coked Kelly is busily making room on Colin's shelving for her stuff. She grumps to him about how Clare rummaged through her drawers, and Colin tells her she's welcome to stay at his loft as long as she wants. She seems pleased with that idea and tells him she's up for another line of coke. He pats the wooden box where he keeps his stash and tells her she doesn't need to clear it with him every time she wants to snort some blow.
Beach house. The apartment is filled with bazaar shoppers, picking over the crappy merchandise. Clare and Donna inform Susan that Kelly has temporarily moved out of the apartment due to her nose powdering situation, and Valerie overhears them, ambles over, and asks if they should be broadcasting Kelly's drug problems to everyone. Clare snappishly retorts, "Why?" and says she doesn't really give a rat's ass who knows about it. Donna shushes her and and agrees they should probably shut up about it, and Clare's like, "What. Ever" and stalks off. David arrives with coffee, and Donna asks him why he didn't go biplane flying with the other male cast mates. David says it's too dangerous for his liking to fly in a teeny tiny plane at 10,000 feet, and Donna thinks about Joe, who went on the excursion, and scrunches her big face with worry.
Airfield. The guys arrive at the biplane runway, where the pilot, Captain George, greets them enthusiastically. He tells them what a super awesome pilot Jonathan is, which surprises Brandon...then splits up the group: Jonathan will fly with Brandon, and he'll take Joe up. Steve will be left on the ground to observe. Jonathan takes Brandon up and does some fancy aerobatics, which would have given me serious nausea. He flies straight up, then straight down, then glides upside down for awhile. Captain George then does the same tricks with Joe inside his plane...and surprisingly, no one starts vomiting in mid-air.
Beach house. David tells Donna that the reason Kelly moved out is probably 'cause she wants to stay away from people who regularly remind her that what she's doing to herself is deadly. Donna's baffled that a smart person such as Kelly would allow this to happen to herself, then asks him if Jackie knows. David says he hasn't told her, then recalls that when Mel found out he was a meth-head in Season 4, it didn't exactly inspire him to quit. He tells Donna that the only thing they can do for Kelly is be good friends...'cause unless she's ready to straighten out, nothing they say or do will make a difference.
Airfield. Captain George and Jonathan land their planes, and Brandon gushes to Jonathan about how fun that was. Joe exits his plane, exclaims, "That was awesome!" then promptly keels over. LOL. At first everyone thinks he's kidding, but they quickly realize he's not, and rush over to aid him. Captain George theorizes it was "too much for him" and puts some smelling salts under Joe's nose, and he comes to right away. Steve is eager to go up for his ride, but Brandon tells him they should probably get Joe home in case he keels over again. Joe discreetly asks Brandon not to tell anyone about his fainting spell, least of all Donna 'cause he knows she'll just worry. Brandon asks him if he thinks his fainting had anything to do with his defective heart, and Joe's like, "Nah!" and insists he feels totally fine. Brandon shrugs and goes, "Whatever. It's your life" and walks off while Joe stares off into space, looking contemplative.
Beach house. A woman finds Clare's inflatable man doll in her bedroom and offers her $5 for him, and Clare mulls that over for a second and chirps, "Sold!" Valerie, meanwhile, asks Susan what it's like having the ever-present Jonathan hanging around her and Brandon all the time, and Susan admits it's a pain and that it's making Brandon miserable. She insists she's not into Jonathan anymore, and Valerie barks, "Lose him" and tells her that trying to be friends with him after their break-up was a big mistake. Susan points out that she doesn't hassle Brandon whenever he spends time with Kelly, and Val makes a blech face and says, "No comment." The phone rings, and it's Ginger calling from Valerie's bedroom at the Walsh house. She admonishes Val for not picking her up from the airport, then informs her that she's standing in her bedroom right now 'cause she still has a house key from her last visit. Valerie reminds her that as far as the gang is concerned, they're not supposed to be friends anymore, but Ginger doesn't give a rat's ass 'bout that and tells her she needs a place to stay while she's in town. Valerie finally clues onto the fact that Ginger is willing to reveal to the gang that they scammed them in the Buffalo Gals episode, so she promises to pick her up and get her settled in a safe, off-site location. David suddenly enters the beach house, and Valerie tells him that Ginger's back in town and that someone - namely him - needs to hustle the little witch out of the Walsh house and into a hotel. David's agreeable to the task, and Valerie thanks him and gives him a quick smooch.
Hotel. David gets Ginger checked in and settled in a swanky hotel suite and explains that Valerie was too busy to do it herself. Ginger says that that's OK...this time. (Er, OK..?) She coquettishly invites David to stay and have lunch with her, but he tells her he has zero desire to hang with someone who tried to rip off him and his friends. Ginger chuckles about him "dredging all that up", and David gives her a funny look and asks her what she's doing in L.A. She gets all fake wide-eyed and tells him that Val knows the reason she's here, and David's like, "Whatevs" and tells her he has to get going, and that Val will drop by the hotel later tonight. Ginger flounces over to the couch, flops down, and orders a bottle of champagne from room service...and David shoots her an irked glance from the doorway before exiting the suite.
Beach house. Clare and Donna count their earnings from the bazaar and look pleased with their profits. Valerie and Susan thank them for hosting the event, and Donna invites them to stay for dinner, but Susan declines 'cause she has a date with Brandon. David phones to tell Valerie that Ginger's all settled in her hotel suite, and to report that she told him she (Valerie) knew precisely why she was back in town. Valerie insists she doesn't know, but is afraid Ginger's going to screw everything up for her. I think that's pretty much a given.
The Walsh house. The guys arrive home, and Brandon and Steve comment on how green around the gills Joe looked during the ride home. Clare arrives and kisses Steve hello, and he and Brandon immediately inform her about Joe's fainting spell. (So much for Brandon's promise to Joe not to tell anyone - LOL.) Clare looks concerned for a few seconds, then tells them that Kelly flaked on their bazaar and asks Brandon to use his influence over her asap 'cause "she's going down fast". Brandon says he thought she quit snorting dope, so Clare explains that Kelly just wants everyone to think she did. Brandon asks where she is now, and Clare says she's most likely at Colin's "loft of sin". Steve looks visibly upset at the hopeless drug fiend Kelly has rapidly degenerated into, and Brandon promises he'll swing by the loft on his way to Susan's.
Colin's loft. Kelly's rummaging through the cupboards, in search of more drugs, when Brandon raps on the door. She tells him to go away 'cause she doesn't want him seeing her like this, but he sternly orders her to open the door, and is all ack! when he sees how blechy and strung out she looks. She tells him he should go, since Colin will be back soon - but Brandon ignores that and holds out his hand and asks her to come with him. Kelly stares at him, tears up, and the scene fades out for what used to be a commercial break.
Brandon's driving Kelly around in his car - not sure where or why. She tells him he's making a big deal out of nothing and says, "So I get high once in awhile - big deal!" She assures him she can handle it, and he just rolls his eyes and mutters, "Yeah right." She earnestly tells him that she and Colin are quitting drugs...and that while she appreciates his concern, she wants to go home now. Brandon tells her that Colin's the reason she's in this mess in the first place, then says he's willing to drive her around all night (this is a plan?), and she starts whining that she wants to go home. He cranks up the radio to drown out her voice, which was funny.
Hotel. Valerie is dismayed to learn that Ginger has charged a bunch of new outfits to the room - which, of course, she (Valerie) will have to pay for. Valerie says she's given her enough cash already, then reminds her about the $5,000 she paid her off with after their scam. Ginger tells her the $5,000 didn't last very long, so Valerie asks her what she wants. Ginger laughs and says she wants to "get rooted" in L.A. and then, out of nowhere, compliments David. Valerie snaps, "He's mine!" - LOL - and Ginger refers to him as "very hot", which I thought was a gross overstatement considering this is David we're talking about. Ginger offers to leave town for $50,000, and Valerie stares back at her, incredulous. Ginger cackles about the scam they pulled, then pulls out a tape player and hits play. The voices are clearly recognizable as the two of them, mocking the gang for being stupid enough to fall for their lies. Valerie is livid that Ginger taped her and says she's not giving her another dime. Ginger says all she wants is "a taste of the good life" and sulks about how Valerie has everything...and that she just wants something too. Valerie snaps at her to rethink this nonsensical "plan", reminds her that checkout time is noon, then storms out of the suite.
Susan gets a call from Brandon, who stopped off at a pay phone. He tells her he probably can't make it to dinner, since he's "in the middle of a nightmare". Susan wrings her hands about canceling their plans, since it took her two weeks to get a reservation at Sophia's. Kelly, meanwhile, climbs into the driver's seat of Brandon's car, starts the motor, and squeals off, leaving him stranded at the pay phone. Haha! It's really too bad he didn't get a car phone installed, like everyone else on the show. Susan promptly gets on the horn with Jonathan and tells him that Brandon just stood her up for dinner, and Jonathan can't resist stirring the pot and tells her he heard Brandon mention something about going to Kelly's tonight. He adds that he thinks there's something going on between the two, which makes Susan furrow her brows. She then announces that since she's free for dinner, the two of them should dine together at Sophia's.
The Walsh house. Ginger phones Valerie from the bathtub of her ensuite and tells her she wants her boyfriend. LOL. Val goes, "Are you crazy?" and Ginger quips that she is crazy, since she's willing to give up $50,000 for a night with David. Yes, that's most definitely crazy. She asks Valerie what she thinks of her indecent proposal, and Valerie snaps back that she's totally sick...and that she has none of the charm, manners, or sophisticated appeal of Robert Redford. Ginger smiles and says, "I thought you'd like that" and hangs up. Valerie scrunches her face with worry and stares over at David, who looks as though he's sleeping peacefully.
Beach house. Joe breaks down and tells Donna about his fainting spell, and she urges him to go back to her dad's office and get his defective heart checked out. He agrees, and insists that he feels much better...but Donna tells him she's scared, and he finally admits he is too. Kelly suddenly stomps onto the deck, looking angry and harassed. Donna tells her that Brandon has been trying to get a hold of her, but she ignores Donna and marches into the apartment, then into her room, where she pulls out her suitcases and starts flinging her stuff into them. She tosses Brandon's car keys at Donna and says the next time he tries to kidnap her, she's calling the police. Donna's all, "Wuh?" and Kelly announces she's moving out, like for real. Donna implores her to stay, but Kelly insists it'll be better for everyone - plus, she's outgrown the beach apartment. Donna tears up and self-pityingly asks, "What about me?" and Kelly says she's sorry, then stalks out, leaving a weeping Donna behind.