Recap: Donna and David are out for a jog...and Rocky is trotting along behind them, doing his best to keep up. When he falls too far behind, he barks at them to slow down. They indulge him and take a break, and he lays down to rest. David admonishes him for being a lazy dog, while Donna gives him a tummy scratch and announces that she and Brenda are going to an animal rights meeting that evening to ensure that dogs like him will never be experimented on again.
The Walsh house. Brenda asks Brandon if Kelly's the one he's been slipping out to see at night, and Brandon snidely retorts that she'd just love it if Kelly and Dylan broke up. Shut up, Brandon. We're not doing the Dylan/Kelly/Brenda love triangle again. Ever. Brenda ignores the catty remark and says it's obvious he's seeing someone, and that as his twin she deserves to be the first to know who it is. Brandon tells her that since Kelly already knows, she'll be the second to know, then drops the bomb that his fuck buddy is none other than Lucinda Nicholson. Brenda's shocked, oddly impressed, and wants to know how long this hook-up has been going on. He tells her "awhile" and adds that he's re-thinking the whole sordid, unholy coupling - then abruptly changes the subject and announces that he's off to meet Steve at a golf course.
California University. Dylan's in the Student Union, staring at a published photo in The Condor of Kelly and Brandon looking very couple-ish at the retreat. Kelly comes over, looks at the page he's staring at, and hastily explains that the photo was taken while they were square dancing. Dylan then goes off on a weird tangent, snarking about how Lucinda defines monogamy as jumping into bed with one person at a time, then chides Kelly for hanging off of Lucinda's every word. Kelly snarks back that he doesn't want to finance Lucinda's Guatemalan tribe/whatever documentary because he can't handle the fact that she's a strong woman with a feminist point of view. Well that's just dumb. Kelly doesn't get why he suddenly changed his opinion about Lucinda and her film, then suggests having her over for dinner to rehash the entire thing. Dylan, of course, is not into the idea at all, so Kelly tells him she doesn't want Lucinda to think they're just a couple of silly kids who don't have an appreciation for art. As she playfully kisses Dylan into submission, Josh Richland watches the nauseating PDA from a few feet away. When Kelly gets up to leave, he runs over to her and accusingly says he thought she was Walsh's girl. Kelly looks startled and stammers that she and Brandon are just friends, to which Josh retorts that they looked like a lot more than friends during the retreat. She can't think of a snappy comeback for that, so she just shoots him the stink-eye and tells him to do the planet a favor and call Dr. Kevorkian. Haha...but that won't be necessary, Kel. The writers dispose of this spiteful troll when they kill him off in a fiery car crash next season. And it's awesome.
Golf course. Steve and Brandon are doing some practice strokes. Brandon remarks how good Steve is at the game, and Steve explains that he took lessons when he was a kid. Brandon encourages him to try out for CU's golf team, but Steve says that since he and his pa have father/son issues, he doesn't want to do anything that might actually please him. Brandon asks him why he's entering the father/son golf tournament then, but Steve doesn't really answer and instead asks Brandon what's going on between him and Kelly. Brandon mumbles something about "it" just being about politics and that Kelly's been helping him out with the task force.
Animal rights meeting. Some guy named Alan talks to the group of animal rights supporters about the success of their movement, and announces that in two days the board of trustees will be taking a vote whether or not to ban animal testing at CU. He wants to see a huge turnout at the rally prior to the vote and encourages everyone to attend. After the meeting, Brenda and Donna briefly chat it up with Alan. He asks them how Rocky is doing, and says a lot of times these animals end up getting really sick. Deluded Donna proudly declares, "Not Rocky!"
The Walsh house. Papa Walsh is reading The Condor and sees the photo of Brandon and Kelly square dancing. He asks Brandon if Dylan minded him going off for the weekend with his girlfriend, and Brandon says no...but Papa Walsh clearly ain't buying it, and he and Mama Walsh exchange a knowing look. Brenda arrives home, lifts her snout to sniff the kitchen aroma, and grumps that she smells red meat. She says that after the animal rights meeting, she's no longer eating animal flesh and declares it immoral. Brandon points out her use of leather products, and she says eventually she'll give that up as well. Kelly suddenly drops by to speak privately with Brandon...and this prompts another knowing look between Mama and Papa Walsh. Upstairs, Kelly tells Brandon that Dylan no longer wants to finance Lucinda's film, but that he's agreed to have dinner with Lucinda to pretend to reconsider. Kelly wants Brandon to come along to the dinner with Lucinda so that Dylan can see how comfortable he is with her, and thinks maybe this will make Dylan comfortable with financing her film.
Beach house. David and Donna set down a bowl of water for Rocky, but he doesn't want to drink or eat anything. David has noticed that the dog hasn't seemed right all day, and tells Donna he'll take him to the vet in the morning. Donna worries that he's sick and coaxes him to have a drink, then gives him a concerned cuddle.
Lucinda's office. Lucinda is pissed off that Brandon blabbed about their relationship to Kelly and Brenda, who also happen to be her students. Brandon whines that it's too hard to keeping their doinking a secret, and says he knows how much her film means to her and how little money means to Dylan. Lucinda says she has no desire to go through the shame and embarrassment of asking Dylan for money again, but Brandon urges her to try again so she can become a filmmaker, quit her teaching job, and they can finally go public with their relationship. Lucinda agrees, and they start making out. They're interrupted by a knock at the door, and it's Josh. Blech. Brandon hides behind the door while Josh tells Lucinda he'd like to interview her for the article he's writing about Brandon. She invites him to come by her office the next day, and he agrees and leaves. Brandon says he doesn't want to have to dodge any more bullets like that, and the two confirm that they're having dinner at Casa McKay to discuss her film's financing. After that they kiss. Again.
California University. Lucinda tells Kelly she appreciates everything she's doing to help get her film completed, then remarks that the weekend retreat seemed to do Brandon a world of good. Kelly mutely and sheepishly agrees.
Donna and Brenda are on campus, handing out flyers in support of animal rights. David stops by and lies to Donna about how much better Rocky seems to be doing. Ahn-drea also makes an appearance, and Donna asks her to read some of their literature in a futile effort to get her to join her cause. While they're busy doing that, David tells Brenda that the vet told him there's nothing she can do for Rocky; his blood tests came back, and he's been diagnosed with cancer. Brenda's shocked and advises him to wait until the right time to tell delicate Donna. Ahn-drea, meanwhile, calls their protest "mindless radicalism", so Brenda accuses her of condoning the abuse of innocent animals. Ahn-drea snaps back that there is another side to the issue, and wants to show them something. She brings them to the research lab where she works...and where the staff is in action, doing behavioral research on cats. Ahn-drea explains that the researchers are trying to find a cure for SIDS. Brenda doesn't care and says she doesn't like seeing animals with electrodes hooked up to them - and I'm totally with her on that. Ahn-drea insists that the doctor in charge of the lab ensures that the animals' suffering is minimal...then adds that their suffering is worth it if they're able to find a cure for SIDS, which might one day save the life of her spawn. Donna mumbles that she didn't know, and Brenda haughtily says she doubts that all the other labs are using humane methods. She then snarks to Ahn-drea that they're never going to share the same opinion on this issue.
Dylan's house. Kelly's setting the table for their dinner party, and Dylan is impressed by how pretty everything looks. He notices place settings for four and asks about Lucinda's boyfriend...and Kelly drops the bomb that her boyfriend is Brandon. Dylan's like WTF? just as the doorbell rings, and he slouches over to the door to greet his dinner guests. Lucinda compliments the Craftsman style of his house, and Kelly quickly offers to give her a tour. Dylan just glares at Brandon and derisively asks him when Lucinda recruited him for fundraising duty.
Beach house. Donna is distraught by Rocky's deteriorating condition and tries in vain to get him to take his meds. David tells her not to expect too much, since he's pretty sick. Brenda urges David to tell her the truth, so he breaks the news to her that Rocky has cancer and that the vet has advised putting him to sleep. Donna being Donna chooses to live in denial and insists that he'll get well, then kisses and cuddles the dying pooch.
Dylan's house. Kelly pours coffee for everyone and tries to get them to discuss Lucinda's film. In his usual world weary, bored fashion, Dylan says the film looked OK and wishes Lucinda good luck. Kelly urges Lucinda to go over her marketing ideas again, but Dylan interjects and says he isn't interested in hearing them, and then bitchily declares that what Lucinda needs is a female producer and female distributor. Lucinda glares at him as Brandon wisely announces that it's time for them to leave...and the two make a hasty exit. Kelly rushes after them and apologizes for Dylan's dickish behavior, then sarcastically thanks him for ruining her first dinner party and asks him whassup with his rudeness. Dylan tells her that Lucinda tried to get him into bed last weekend for the simple reason that he was the closest available warm body. Kelly doesn't buy it, snaps that he's "lost it", and storms out.
The Walsh house. Brenda's on the phone with Donna, and the two are commiserating about Rocky. Donna's still optimistic that he'll get better, and the two arrange to meet at the animal rights rally shortly.
Lucinda's seminar. Kelly, who has apparently decided to believe Dylan about Lucinda coming onto him, blurts out to Lucinda (in front of the entire class) that she'd like to revisit the issue of fidelity, as well as the concept of betrayal. Subtle, Kelly. Lucinda's like, "Game on" and starts babbling about Eskimos, and that when an Eskimo man goes off hunting, he expects other men to satisfy his wife. Seriously? Are there any Eskimos out there who can speak to this? Kelly snarkishly asks what happens when women go off gathering - meaning, do other women head straight for their boyfriends? Lucinda says they might do exactly that, since it's so much a part of Eskimo culture...and Kelly retorts that, fortunately for them, they're not Eskimos. I'd say it's more fortunate for the Eskimos that awful people like Lucinda aren't Eskimos. Lucinda then makes a self-serving pronouncement about how men and women aren't monogamous by nature, and that relationships would be healthier if people were honest about their sexual impulses.
Animal rights rally. The protesters are anxiously awaiting the results of the trustees' meeting. After a few minutes, word comes down that the board has decided to table the issue, which means that funding for animal research on campus will continue until a vote is taken. The protesters are enraged and begin chanting, "Animal rights now!" At that moment, a trustee exits the building and looks bewildered at all the angry boos he gets as he weaves his way through the crowd.
The Peach Pit. Ahn-drea and Jesse bore Brandon, Steve, and me with their baby name dilemma. They can't agree on a name, and I couldn't possibly give any less of a shit. Kelly enters the diner and tells Brandon they need to talk, so the two sit at another table for privacy. A confused Steve asks if anything is going on between those two, and Ahn-drea crinkles her bloated face and says she isn't sure, but that Kelly and Lucinda were having a bizarre, innuendo filled conversation about monogamy during the ladies' seminar earlier. Kelly tells Brandon that Lucinda made a pass at Dylan, and Brandon says that's something she's probably totally capable of...then reminds Kelly about the naughty kiss they shared at the retreat. Kelly tells him that maybe they're all capable of betrayal, and says that if she wants to maintain a honest relationship with her slouchy beau, she's going to have to tell him what happened at the retreat.
Beach house. Donna's petting Rocky, who's whimpering in pain, and Brenda gently suggests that it might be time to let him go. A few minutes later, David notices that the dog is no longer breathing, and Donna bursts into tears. She hugs Brenda and sobs, "They killed him!" and Brenda assures her that she won't let the evildoers get away with this.
Lucinda's house. When Brandon arrives, Lucinda snarks that he's late, so he explains that he got held up at the Peach Pit, talking to Kelly. He asks her if it's true, and Lucinda ignores his question and asks him if he's hungry...and he again demands to know what happened between her and Dylan. She tries to sound breezy when she tells him that nothing much happened...except for when she suggested that she and Dylan hit the sack. She remarks that that seemed to really offend Dylan. Brandon dejectedly asks her where this leaves them, and Lucinda's non-answer is that Josh told her how cozy he and Kelly looked while they were at the retreat. Brandon says he feels bad about that, since Dylan's an old friend. Lucinda tries to lecture him about being more understanding about infidelity - like she is, for example - and Brandon snarks back that she seems to have a convenient philosophy for everything. She kind of does, doesn't she? She tells him that whatever happened with Dylan doesn't change how she feels about him, but he says he doesn't know what she is to him anymore. She suggests, "A fantasy?" and holds a strawberry up to his face, but he coldly snaps, "No thanks" and walks out.
Beach house. Donna tells Kelly she'd like to have a memorial for Rocky, and Kelly says that the loss of a pet can be harder than humans, since pets are less complicated and always all about love. That is soo true. Donna remarks that Brenda is really torn up about the pooch's passing.
The Walsh house. Brandon and Steve are helping Mama Walsh unload groceries from her car when Dylan comes roaring into the driveway in his Porsche. Mama Walsh is oblivious to his bad mood, greets him pleasantly, and ambles into the house with her groceries. Dylan tells Brandon he wants to talk "man to man", then snarls about how he (Brandon) made a move on Kelly after he (Dylan) loaned her out so she could attend his task force events. Steve's confused and is all "Wha-at?" Brandon insists that nothing happened between him and Kelly, and Dylan grumbles about how he sent his sex freak of a girlfriend to him, looking for a handout. Steve perks up at the mention of a sex freak and says he's eager to hear more 'bout that. Dylan and Brandon ignore Steve and egg each other on to throw the first punch - so Dylan takes a swing. Brandon ducks, and Steve accidentally gets punched in the face, which, for some reason, caused me to burst out laughing. Brandon moans that the whole Kelly/Lucinda thing is his fault, and Dylan bitterly says he'd been looking forward to giving him a beating. Brandon points out that Lucinda has them at each others' throats, then announces he no longer wants to have anything to do with her. Suddenly, Mama Walsh calls out to Brandon, telling him she has brownies and ice cream for him and his little friends. This instantly smooths over all the bad feelings of the past three minutes, and Brandon, Dylan, and Steve (with his bloody nose) scamper toward the house for a yummy dessert treat.
Apartment. Some random girl is insisting to Alan that some of the animal activists at the meeting are terrorists, and when he pooh poohs her concerns, she storms out of the apartment. Alan goes over to the alleged terrorists and says they can probably still reason with the trustees, but an older white haired guy argues that economic loss is the only thing these people understand...and Alan passively agrees. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door and it's Brenda, who's come over to report that Rocky just died...and she wants the group to do something to avenge the poor pooch's death. One of the alleged terrorists, Jonathan, doesn't like the idea of Brenda getting involved and says the fewer people who know about their activities, the better. He then asks her if she's law enforcement, and she assures him she's not. The rest of the group thinks it's a great idea to involve her, and one of them tells her that they're planning to vandalize the research lab that evening. They want Brenda to be a lookout while they're trashing the place, and she tells them she's A-OK with that and that she'll do "whatever it takes". Good use of judgement there, Brenda.
Dylan's house. Kelly is massaging Dylan's shoulders, and he tells her that things between him and Brandon almost came to blows. She gushes about how flattering it is to be fought over by two Neanderthals, and then she and Dylan babble about their old fashioned values. And kiss.
CU Research Lab. The terrorists, with Brenda in tow, enter the building carrying flashlights. One of the guys orders Brenda to keep watch while they break into the lab and wreak some havoc. Brenda realizes that the lab is the one where Ahn-drea works, so she weakly protests that she knows for a fact that the animals are treated humanely there...but they ignore her. After they break in, they release the bewildered cats from their cages, and throw papers around. About a minute later, the lights in the building come on, and a team of FBI agents storm toward the lab. They immediately arrest Brenda, handcuff her, and read her her rights...and she looks very close to tears.